Teach our children to be adventurous, to explore.

Our children ought to be encouraged to be adventurous. Help them to explore the many places in his world. It is especially helpful for children who are too timid. The child here is one of my two sons. See how confident he is when the bond between mother and child is good.

Even without financial inheritance, it can be done!

I know that when I wrote that every aspect of life is within reach with confidence derived from intelligence, courage, strength and coordination, there is the possibility that someone would point out that poverty could be a stumbling block.

For that, I wish to draw your attention to a man I know. When I first met him, I knew he was the owner of his own big factory. Seeing his muscular build, I asked how often he frequented the gym. He wondered where the coversation was heading to but told me he had never been to one. His muscles came from bending heated canes to make cane furniture. He was the employee of the shop. And he did the work after school hours.

This man, now aged approximately forty, came from a poor farming family. His education was only up to primary school level but he did not lack intelligence. He worked hard at many jobs to help his parents. He was tough, ready to learn and improved his knowledge and ability in the school of hard knocks. He had the courage to even travel from his homeland to acquire sufficient knowledge and money to start his own factory.

So, with intelligence, courage, strength and coordination, one can gather the necessary knowledge, expertise, and money to achieve one’s goal in life.

Without strength and coordination, he might not have been able to do cane-bending well enough to earn his first pay-check and realize the importance of money in big projects in life.

Without the intelligence, he would not have realized that the boss gets the bigger share of it. He would not have realized it would require a lot of tough work to gain money and make the difference to his family’s total income. He would not have realised he had to find the expertise and knowledge to start his own business.

Certainly, he must have confidence to venture wherever it takes to gain the essential knowledge and ability to start a factory. Knowing the importance of money, he must have saved most of whatever he earned to be financially capable to think of a factory.

This is the story of a self-made man; one with the strength and coordination to take on many jobs, one with the confidence and courage to venture far from his poor beginning. Obviously, it was a tough, uphill climb but it could be done.

Of course, not everyone can do it because it needs true intelligence to learn in the school of hard knocks, understand and realize what it takes to make it, to realize effort must be substantial and have the courage to seize the opportunity when it comes.

Training for strength, coordination and confidence.

Without confidence and courage, who would dare to do this?

This vault needs flexiblity too.

This somersault needs lots of strength and coordination as well as courage.All the above must be learned through a good, vigilant coach.
All the pictures in black and white were taken at a time when coloured photos were not available; in 1968.

What qualities are essential?

Intelligence, Strength, coordination and courage make possible almost any required activity in every field of life.

The knowledge of one’s own ability to perform well gives a person the all important confidence to move towards any opportunity. And confidence gives him/her the courage to carry it out with a hundred percent effort. This ensures all obstacles can be swept aside to enable one to test the potentials which exist and end up with the best possible opening in life. With such confidence and courage, every aspect of life can be within reach!

Intelligence is important. Parents can help their children develop intelligence through some of the games available in the market.

Snake and ladder encourage children to count and learn co-operation by taking turns to throw the dice.

In checkers, children learn that rules are necessary. Our child has to think of a strategy to overcome an opponent.

Monopoly teaches the intelligent use of money. Our child learns how to manage money.

Chess is an excellent game requiring knowledge of rules and moves of various pieces in the game. It gets our children to be conscious of the need for strategy. It requires a player to imagine what can possibly happen with each move made. It teaches children to visualize the possible consequences of each move. It also teaches anticipation of the moves of the opponent. It is certainly an excellent game for children to be interested in.

Scrabble helps the child to increase his/her vocabulary and spelling.

Computer games help children improve coordination and anticipation. However, because the child plays by himself and therefore without the need to think of one’s ego, it does not motivate the child as much as other type of games to win. The child finds relaxation and through this relaxation becomes addicted to computer games.So, do not start the child too young on computer games.

Some learning institutions stress on intelligence and forgo physical development. Without sports and games on courts and in the field, our children’s opportunity to develop such strength is lacking.

Although our concrete jungle has replaced the wilds, strength is just as important in many spheres of our lives.

To be a good sportsman or a dancer, we need strength and coordination, besides intelligence and courage.

To be active in so many other activities in life, we require those same qualities.

Even to be a good speaker, we need the courage and confidence to stand in front of a crowd; we need to coordinate our mind with whatever movement of our body and facial expressions necessary to convey clearly the meaning of our speech. We need the strength to speed out loudly and clearly.

Baby and us.

Why am I so lucky? She hugs me so lovingly. And what a lovely smile she beams at me!
It's a loving mother and her cheerful bundle of joy!

Look how cute he is! He certainly loves to be carried and hugged.

A child is so lovable.

It's so easy to love babies. Giving them sufficent attention should not be a problem. Yet, many problems arise in this world because someone neglected the children or did not give them the right attention.

The power to perform makes the difference.

There was once a little boy who steps timidly to the back behind the crowd each time some activity needs to be performed. With a skinny body weakened by rheumatism at a very young age, this young boy knew from experience that he lacked the strength to perform the task well.

Knowledge of his weakness caused him sadness in the realization that he had to take a back seat and not be able to live life to the full. Yet it was the same knowledge that lead him to do something to reverse the lousy start fate had tossed at him. He ran. He read about Charles Atlas who pioneered the idea of developing strength through dynamic tension of the muscles without the use of equipment; using the left hand to give resistance to the right hand as it uses the biceps to bend at the elbow. With his well-sculptured body, Charles Atlas won the world title. This little boy used the same kind of training to improve his body. Later, he took up weight training and developed his strength. It was tough. It was a process that took approximately ten long, lonely years. Obviously, he was not made of championship stuff. But, he did persevered. He did gain strength gradually and muscles too when he finally graduated to weight training. His friends who have known him as small and weak were surprised at his development at the last stage. He did so well that he played rugby with the big, tough guys. He became good at gymnastics because of the power in his arms, shoulders, back and legs; and the spring which came with that power.

During those ten long years and some years thereafter, rheumatism did attack once every two to three years.

There was one stage when rheumatism did strike during a period of fatigue. When he approached a doctor for medical leave, the doctor took a look at the strong-looking guy and refused to allow him the leave. The next day, his body still wreaked by pain, he again went to the hospital for some medical leave. The doctor who listened to his heart did it four or five times, and he thought, “Oh, my gosh! This doctor does not even know how to use his stethoscope.” Anyhow, he still requested for medical leave, upon which, the doctor said, “No.”. He was on the point of bursting out with anger when the doctor shocked him with, “You are warded!”

Then, he was told to rest quietly on a bed, after which he was taken for an ECG, an examination of the heart. The result, according to a nurse, was he had a rheumatic heart. As he had been studying about health and nutrition, he knew a rheumatic heart patient has only six years to live.

Well, that young man lives to be more than sixty-two years old. I know because that weak little boy was me. Since the age of twenty-five, there was no more incidence of rheumatism. And because I practice yoga very often nowadays, there is also no pain anywhere in my body.

With exercise and the strength I gained, I had not only overcome weakness, I can truly say I live life to the full.Nowadays, there is still so much to learn, so much to do. Sometimes, twenty-four hours are just not enough!

Our lives depend upon it!

Imagine watching a car hurtling towards you at breakneck speed, your mind perceiving the danger heading your way and shrieking for action to avoid imminent death. If you manage to remain calm, with excellent coordination of the various parts of the body and the mind, the response merely takes a few seconds to dash out of the way of the speeding vehicle. Without good coordination, the reaction will be slower by just a few seconds and death can be the only outcome! So, assess for yourself how important coordination is.

Children need toys and games which are essential to the development of their coordination, strength, imagination and creativity.

Coordination of the eyes, the ears, the mind and the various parts of our body is necessary for the accomplishment of every successful act in our lives. Without coordination, even the person who has lots of strength will be clumsy.

How good a person is at any activity in life depends upon the degree of coordination of the necessarily involved parts of the body. Take typing as an example. Some people have such wonderful coordination, and with a little practice, fingers fly over the letters on the keyboard to type that very second, whatever their eyes encounter on the paper beside the keyboard.

So, there is a need to train and develop coordination. To achieve this, parents should make available toys and games which help develop coordination.
To develop coordination, babies could be encouraged to hold our fingers as we hold them in front of them. Using just our fingers or the movement of our face, we can get the child to look towards the left or the right and reach out for our fingers or objects held in our hands.

Encouraging babies to crawl and walk is important as these actions need coordination too.

Toy cars and balls, which can be rolled, pushed or moved or thrown from one person to another, are excellent toys for learning coordination. It helps the child to look and focus on the object, watch its movement and be ready with the hands to catch it as it approaches. Later, the ball can also be thrown in the air towards the child for him/her to catch. The ball can also be kicked, where there is a need to coordinate the eyes with the legs and the information of the position of the ball from the mind.

Obviously, every move we make needs coordination for the move to be effective.

Stuck with a problem?

To encounter problems is a part of living. Only our friends in underground chambers with a tombstone to mark their last abode do not have problems. In fact, they are no longer there; returned to sender, God.

To live is to meet with problems. However, if we have the right attitude, problems are not obstacles to a happy life. For me, there are two types of problems; those which can be solved and those that cannot be solved. Solve those which have solutions; and sweep aside, surrender to God those which we cannot solve.

Of course, I must agree that it is easier said than done. There are some problems which cannot be forgotten or surrendered easily, especially relationship problems with loads of emotions.

However, if we realize it is a problem which has no solutions; the door is locked forever; then whenever it comes, we know there is no point in thinking about it and we just switch our mind to something else. It will return, of course, but we put priority on the present moment and other things or activities and slowly but gradually; it may take a longer time; but it has to recede to the background. It may surface again and again but the pain will go away and we will emerge stronger to face the next problem.

Fortunate to be born to poor parents, I encountered problems often enough in my younger days to learn how to face them.

Born poor, I was very sensitive to people’s words. Sometimes, words can hurt a lot. Even when the person who uttered the words was no longer around, the hurt remained, appearing every now and then or until another hurt took its place.

Fortunately, with good friends to teach and help me to enjoy the happiness of each new day, I managed to reach a stage where I consider all words the right of any author, totally his view and possibly different from mine. I learned through knowledge and experience to allow different views. It does not change my view at all. So, it does not affect my mind at all. It does not even become a problem.

I was born weak. I was sickly as a child. There was one stage, about the age of six, when I could not walk. My whole body was painful! There was that well-known lady medium who would go into a trance and cure people of their complaints, be it sickness or daily misfortunes.

I was carried to such a medium whose temple happened to be near my house. I was laid on the floor. I was terrified of the big woman. But, there was no escape for me as I could not even get up from the floor where I was placed. Imagine my cries of pain and horror as she stepped onto my feet and trampled on them. Then, she pulled me up by my hands. I walked when she told me to! It was a miracle! I walked all the way home after praying to her. Was it fear that drove me to walk? Whatever it was, I became well enough to walk again.

Since then, I was determined never to have to go through such an ordeal again. I exercised in every way I could. I ran whenever I had the chance. I walked very often. Later, I even took up weight-lifting. Eventually, I went into long-distance running (I was selected to be a member of my school's cross-crountry team.), Tae Kwon do, gymnastics, hiking, Tai chi, Shaolin Martial Arts, and Qiqong.

As there was a solution to my physical weakness, I took the steps necessary to overcome it. Today I am strong and healthy. I have been so for the last thirty something years.

Trigger the power of imagination.

When my brother and I visited my uncle who lived near some swamps, we imagined the life of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn by building a raft with bamboo and vines to cross the swamps. Our raft was not well-built and in the midst of fighting off crocodiles, it broke apart leaving us drinking swampy water with leeches sucking off every drop of blood from our body. Play and books have certainly fired our imagination!

Play and imagination triggered by pictures or objects helps our child to be literate.
To be literate, the child remembers words and imagine their meanings. The child learns the alphabets; learns how to combine them to form meaningful words and string the words to form sentences.

Learning words needs only memory. However, without bringing in imagination through picture and play, the words are merely sounds without meanings. To have our child be able to read with understanding, he needs imagination to picture the events or sequence of thoughts. When does he start to learn imagination?

Our child learns language through imagination. Through talk, language is first used. Parents play with their child, tickle him/her and call the child ‘baby’. The child hears the words, remember them, but cannot use them until he/she is able to associate the words with the people concerned. This process requires the mind to picture the people connected with the words. The imagination process has begun!
Play is a good method to trigger a child’s imagination. In those days when girls are brought up to be housewives, parents used to buy toy stoves, frying-pans, pot and all kind of kitchen utensils for them to play with. Parents who aspire to have doctors in the family bought toy stethoscope and blood pressure measurement units for their male children. They do this to let the children imagine such roles.

Through play children develop their imagination. I remembered putting a blanket and a pillow or bolster onto one end of the bedstead to become my saddle for a ride on my bucking bronco. The rodeo rider sometimes complete his show with the bull; no, it was no bull but my mother; chasing after me with a long cane for loosening all the bolts in her bed!

What benefits could such imagination bring? For me, it was my beloved uncle, Mr. Ong Keng Thoe, who was the headmaster of St. Xaviers Branch School in Pulau Tikus, Penang; and enthusiastic teachers such as Mr. Ramachandran of Hutchings School, Penang, who inspired me to become a teacher too. After having seen their ability to help young children develop themselves through the noble profession of imparting knowledge and skills, I imagined how I could do the same with success. Many a time, I imagined myself standing in front of a class. That was how I overcame my timidity at a young age and at twelve years, was even made a leader of a group tasked with the approaching of certain managements to enter and know the work done in certain premises in Georgetown, Penang.

I must tell you what I read about Abraham Lincoln, the well-known President of America, during his younger days. With his great imagination, this humble, backwoods boy practised giving speeches atop the stumps of cut trees near his home. He visualized himself as the successful leader he eventually became. Using his imagination, he took the courageous steps necessary for his own progress and it lead him to such great acknowledged success!

He was one of my first heroes. Like I have mentioned earlier I suffered inferiority complex as a result of poverty. Abraham Lincoln was just as poor! Yet, he became one of the greatest leaders of a great nation. With him as my hero, I struck out to improve myself and with the help of my friends, I made it!

Imagination is essential to problem solving. To solve a problem, we have to see the problem clearly. Having done that, we need to imagine various possible approaches, ways or steps to overcome it. If we cannot envisage all these, then it is difficult to solve whatever problem we or our children may encounter in life.

In some work, imagination is important. Those who are artists, draftsmen, architects, doctors, engineers and scientists certainly need imagination to picture the outcome of their work.

Finally, happiness depends upon imagination. We need beautiful dreams. We need to go back to sweet memories to brighten our darker days. Imagine how wonderful our life is with imagination; sweet dreams and beautiful memories to negate our present sadness and heighten our happy moments.

A smile to lighten your child's way.

The other day, one of The Art of Living teachers was lamenting the lack of parental knowledge on teeth care during her younger days. As a result, she was suffering from tooth decay and tooth-ache. I empathize with her as I had the same problem during my younger days.

I realized I had problems with my teeth when I got interested in girls. To reach out to them, I beamed them my most attractive smile. It was the best first step I have ever known. Then, I found decaying teeth. I quickly approach a dentist to do the necessary repairs. Having realized the importance of my teeth, I read up as much as I could on teeth care.

In those days, parents seldom bother to make sure we brush our teeth well. So, dental hygiene was neglected.

I found out that I had been taught teeth brushing wrongly. We believed that the softer bristled toothbrush was for children while the harder bristled toothbrush was for adults. For us adults, we thought it was, the harder the better. With certain things maybe, but certainly not tooth- brushing. Actually, too vigorous brushing with the hard bristled toothbrush can harm the enamel over a number of years. So, we ought to use the soft bristled toothbrush.

Other than the type of toothbrush used, the time taken to brush our teeth is often too hurried to do a good job. We should brushed for about two and a half minutes. Wow! Isn’t that a rather long time? That is true for many people, but to do it right, that is necessary.

If the intention is to reach difficult-to-reach places, even for the toothbrush, then dental floss have to be used.

Then comes the question of when we brush our teeth. As the purpose is to get rid of plaque and food particles we must brush after the last meal of the day. What about morning, when we wake up. Since no food was consumed during the night, bacteria is less and plaque has hardly any opportunity to form. So, I just rinse my mouth thoroughly to get rid of overnight saliva and feel the freshness on the inside of my mouth. If we wish to brush twice a day, we could do it after lunch. Once in a while, maybe twice a month, we could use some Listerine to gargle for about two minutes. This is what I do if I feel that I have a little bad breath or my gums are beginning to have problems. In this way, we can keep our teeth for many more years to come.
Another thing we need to think of is cigarette and smoking. Any doctor will tell us it can cause oral cancer. If we smoke often enough, we can also stain our teeth for a yellowish smile. Unfortunately, it is not the fashion to yellow our teeth. Together with bad breath, no man or woman is going to kiss that mouth no matter how ravishing the person is. (Of course, there are still some who would kiss anything! Even…. Ugh!) That is not the only thing that mouth will have to forgo! It will no longer taste food as well as the next mouth! There goes the wonderful pleasure of taste!

Our mouth is so important to us. Women know that besides the eyes, it is the most attractive part of the face. That is why they color their lips, reshape it with lipstick before they move out of the door. And when they meet a friend, they beam forth their shinning white teeth in a smile, a smile that would set the heart of a man like me beating a thousand and one times a minute. Wow!

When it comes to a man’s smile, the ladies are the only ones who can tell us how they feel. Over to you, ladies.

The problems encountered by a dyslexic.

In a previous posting I wrote on development of the fetus during pregnancy. One of the possible problems in the development of the brain of the unborn child is dyslexia.

On Thursday, 19th March 2009, a letter in the Star newspaper from a 17 year old dyslexia sufferer was in the views page. He told about his problem with spelling; how he ‘still fail to spell words like 'scissors' and 'friends' correctly’. It also affects his ability to solve basic Math equations.

He wrote, “Imagine the horror of trying to grasp a Math formula that is full of alphabets.” He told of his confusion regarding letters. According to him, he was ‘often confused with M and N, B and D, P and Q, O and Q.’

He related his reading difficulty with “I still remember being extremely fatigued after reading a simple text when I was in primary school because I spent too much energy on trying to read till I forgot the contents of the text itself.”
For him, life was made more difficult with being labeled ‘stupid’, ‘slow’ or ‘lazy'. As anyone can see, ‘learning was a living nightmare.’

Life was difficult even when ‘Calling up the delivery service.It has been quite a challenge when the person at the other end asks you to spell out certain details like your address and house number. I tend to jumble up the numbers.’

Remembering things was difficult. Even filling a simple form where names have to be written is tough as he ‘even misspelled my name!’. He found remembering car number plates tough.

Advancement in technology has helped dyslexics. According to him, the spell-check and built-in dictionary in the computer helped. He found the time from a digital clock easier to read when compared with the analog clock. And phones with the dictionary function certainly helped him to send messages to his friends and relatives.

As dyslexia and vision or hearing problems can go undetected during the early schooling years, it is important for us to be vigilant and have our children examined by doctors should our children find difficulty in language learning. Parents could teach their children to read as early as possible so that such learning difficulties can be detected and treated early.

Parental influence is enhanced.

Babies need attention. Talking, playing, carrying and hugging our baby are ways we give our baby the attention required.

With this attention, we bond with our baby. Ours will be the first beautiful voice our baby will be familiar with. Ours will be the first warmth, joy and love in our baby’s life. Blood ties may be strong but nothing can be stronger than love. With this love, our baby will come to care so much for us that he/she would want to please us by imitating and following whatever we teach him/her, be it good or bad. So, teach our baby as much as possible all that is good and his/her future success and happiness await him/her; but directly or indirectly teach him/her through words or example, all which is bad and society and us have a problem on our hands pretty soon.

Examples of imitation of the parent are present everywhere. Look at every human, and most times, you see not only the looks of the parents in them. You can notice the gait, the actions, the ways, the mannerisms and the expressions of the parents. If there is no such resemblance, then there is the possibility that that person was not brought up or cared for from young by his/her parents.

If the bond between children and parents is weak, the influence of the parents cannot be strong. If that be the case, should one day the child learns bad habits or undesirable attitudes and behavior, the parents may find it difficult to overcome such problems. The child may not want to listen.

However, with good bonding between parents and their children, any problem can be overcome and faults corrected immediately.

I can still remember the day my elder son returned from his kindergarten and smilingly uttered a vulgar word he had just learned from another child there. I asked him whether he understood the word. He did not. It was just a new word he had heard that very morning. I explained that that was not a good word to say to anybody. I also told him we do not use such words in our house. I explained further that other people used such words because they do not understand how bad such words are; that such words hurt other people’s feelings. He nodded to my explanation and since then he had not used any vulgar language.

How well we can communicate and correct our children’s faults, and there are bound to be some, depends very much on how well we have bonded with our children. It depends upon the love developed between our precious children and us.

Quality milk for better growth and development.

A newborn child’s nourishment comes from milk, mother’s milk; and it should be no other unless circumstances beyond our control determine otherwise.

Mother’s milk contains the important lauric acid which helps the baby to fend off bacteria and viruses at this very vulnerable stage of life. It insures the healthy growth of a baby. This lauric acid is not found in fresh cow’s milk. In fact no child less than one year of age should be given fresh cow’s milk as it is deficient in iron and so may cause anemia. Furthermore, there is the possibility of developing an allergy. (The only other good source of lauric acid is coconut oil.)

Research has proven that nutrients in mother’s milk are essential to the growth and proper development of the brain.

Asians were very much smaller in build because of the ignorance of nutrition. There was a time when poorer Asian parents weaned their children off early, sometimes due to the lack of milk from their bodies and sometimes due to inconvenience. Such parents give their children the cheaper condensed milk or plain white rice broth resulting in malnourished bodies. Fortunately, with better knowledge and understanding, parents are giving their babies longer periods of mother’s milk and formula milk.

Look at the affluent Japanese today. They are no longer the short, small-sized people we pictured during the Second World War. The difference in the Japanese is due to quality milk, better food and nutrition.

We should not wean the baby off mother’s milk unless the mother’s body cannot supply sufficient quantity of it. If that be the case, formula milk and, later, nutritious blended food using carrots, apples, pumpkins or sweet potatoes may be used.

The liking for sugar and bad habits with food are taught by us. No child cries for sweets or sugar. Sugar is known to be bad for health. Such vegetables as pumpkins, carrots, apples, pumpkins and sweet potatoes are pleasant enough to the taste-buds to not require any sugar. They can be blended or pureed so that it is soft enough for baby to eat.

For further information on pureed or blended solids, go to:
http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/

Besides the right and desired nutrients for the baby, in the process of sucking milk from the mother’s breast, mother and child develop a bond between them. And this bond is important. The benefits of such a bond has been given in a previous posting.

Know your child: The bond between the parents and the child.

Do we really know our children? Do we know our children’s character, his feelings, needs, habits, likes and dislikes, hobbies or interests?
How do we get to know our children well enough to ensure he/she can develop his potential to the fullest?

The first thing we have to realize is that every child is an individual. Each child’s needs are different. Even when the needs of two children are the same, the amount or the intensity can be different. For example, all children need encouragement, but a timid child would need more encouragement than the aggressive one. That is the reason all of us need to know and understand our own children well.
Getting to know our children well must come from firsthand knowledge. To do that well, the bond between parents and the child must be good. This bond not only helps us to know our children. It will help us to be close to them, to communicate easily, to know their problems and to be able to assist them with whatever wisdom we have in solving day to day problems.

So, to know our children well, we need to be with them; to spend quality time with them. Initially, all that is needed is to cuddle, talk and give him some attention as often as possible.

Of course, there are some of us who may find it difficult to spend time with the family. To them, I would say, we ought to think of our priorities. To me, my wife and my children are the most important people in the world. Of course, my friends are important too. Their happiness is my happiness. I devoted myself to my wife the day I fell in love with her. My devotion was extended to my children the day they came into my life. This does not mean we do not care for our friends. I do and friends of mine know it.

Back to the bond with our children, we need to talk and play with them. Talking with them not only helps our children learn language, it is also the first step to communication, an essential part of living. Every human needs to communicate with somebody. That is why, when there is no one to turn to, to communicate on problems, insecurity and fears, people start to talk to themselves. A baby is happy when there is someone to communicate with. Have you ever noticed that?

In playing with our children, we help our child cultivate togetherness. We are social creatures. We need company. Loving parents are the best company for baby. Other than helping our children learn about shapes, textures and taste; parents can, through play as the child grows, get to know his likes and dislikes as well as his interests.

There was a student of a science school in Pokok Sena, Kedah, Malaysia who told me that his interest in cars and all the engineering aspects on cars started during his early years through playing with toy cars. He played with his father pushing the toy cars to each other. Knowing that his son was interested, he bought him many models to play with. Magazines followed at a later stage.

Spending time with our children, taking him/her around to know and see his/her world is an important process of development. From the known things at home, our children get to discover unknown things outside the home. The more things there are to see, the more communication there is, the more language is learned, the greater the knowledge. And the more familiar the surrounding is, the more confident is our children. With this, our child is more ready for greater improvement earlier in life. Imagine the amount of benefit our children get just through bonding!

Understand and allow differing views and peace will be ours.

This morning, I was on my way to meet a friend to hike up a hill when she rang up to ask if it was raining. My house was nearer to the hill and there was no rain at all at the time. She informed me that it was raining at her place. It was the same sky in the same small town but a different weather.

Some weeks ago while I was at one of those Art of Living knowledge sessions, I looked out through the window in front on my right to see a dark, gloomy sky. I turned to the left to look through a window at a clear, blue sky. How contrasting the views were despite observing from the same spot at the same sky! Two clearly differing views were seen! Yet, both were true!

How often have we met people who have differing knowledge of a friend? Someone may describe the person as generous to a fault while another may find him the most self-centered person in the universe. This, of course, is due to the experiences we had with the person. If we understand this, then we can no longer be surprised at the difference.

Just as the scientist, who would demand proof and not accept anything beyond logic, and the priest, who willingly tell of the miracles he had witnessed, can never except the other’s understanding of the matter; people with different experiences see things differently.

And because these people see things differently and do not try or are unable to understand the other person’s view, there are so many problems among individuals, people, a community and the whole world.

All we need to realize is that each person’s view is based on his understanding through his/her own experiences as well as the angle at which the subject is observed. Through this we ought to be able to accept the person’s views.

Take for example, my own experience with helping a young girl overcome her psychiatric problem merely through a breathing exercise and some knowledge in the Art of Living program. I would not fault anyone who thinks what I have just said is a lot of hogwash. In his position, without personal knowledge of what had happened, I would have said the same thing.

Here are a number of things I would consider nonsense if I had not known its existence. I would not have believed in chakras which are energy points in our body. I would not have believed the existence of a third eye. I would not have believed the third eye could be opened if I had not known of people who have had theirs opened. I would not have believed in trigger points if I had not use the knowledge to overcome pain.

If we try to be more aware that views can be different, yet right; then, we can open ourselves to more knowledge and greater understanding. Then, we have the opportunity to wonder at the many mysterious truths which exist in this world.

When we have greater understanding, there will be less conflicts and clashes. Peace can then descend upon all humans who are the same, no matter what skin color, language or place of origin.

Understand and allow differing views and peace will be ours.

This morning, I was on my way to meet a friend to hike up a hill when she rang up to ask if it was raining. My house was nearer to the hill and there was no rain at all at the time. She informed me that it was raining at her place. It was the same sky in the same small town but a different weather.

Some weeks ago while I was at one of those Art of Living knowledge sessions, I looked out through the window in front on my right to see a dark, gloomy sky. I turned to the left to look through a window at a clear, blue sky. How contrasting the views were despite observing from the same spot at the same sky! Two clearly differing views were seen! Yet, both were true!

How often have we met people who have differing knowledge of a friend? Someone may describe the person as generous to a fault while another may find him the most self-centered person in the universe. This, of course, is due to the experiences we had with the person. If we understand this, then we can no longer be surprised at the difference.

Just as the scientist, who would demand proof and not accept anything beyond logic, and the priest, who willingly tell of the miracles he had witnessed, cannot except the other’s understanding of the matter; people with different experiences see things differently.

And because these people see things differently and do not try or are unable to understand the other person’s view, there are so many problems among individuals, people, a community and the whole world.

All we need to realize is that each person’s view is based on his understanding through his/her own experiences as well as the angle at which the subject is observed. Through this we ought to be able to accept the other person’s views.

Take for example, my own experience with helping a young girl overcome her psychiatric problem merely through a breathing exercise and some knowledge in the Art of Living program. I would not fault anyone who thinks what I have just said is a lot of hogwash. In his position, without personal knowledge of what had happened, I could have said the same thing.

Fortunately, being able to realize that it is possible and right to have different views, I can accept other people's views. I turn to see his point of view.

Here are a number of things I could consider nonsense if I had not known its existence. I would not have believed in chakras which are energy points in our body. I would not have believed the existence of a third eye. I would not have believed the third eye could be opened if I had not known of people who have had theirs opened. I would not have believed in trigger points if I had not use the knowledge to overcome pain.

If we try to be more aware that views can be different, yet right; then, we can open ourselves to more knowledge and greater understanding. Then, we have the opportunity to wonder at the many mysterious truths which exist in this world.

When we have greater understanding, there will be less conflicts and clashes. Peace can then descend upon all humans who are the same, no matter what skin color, language or place of origin.

The need for bonding:without it what's the point of ....?

Humans need food for energy and development of the body, exercise to strengthen it and rest for growth, regeneration and recuperation. In an earlier posting we have seen how the lost of parents leads to brain disturbances. Let us examine our physical needs too and how it can also lead to emotional imbalance.

There are parents, in pursuit of money, forget that children not only need food, exercise and rest. Children as well as adults need bonding. They need to be close with their parents and friends. Such closeness can be established through being with them, communicating with each other and expression of love through touch and hugs.

There was a reckless child I knew, who could not care less what happened to him. He would run all over, mixing with whoever is willing to allow him to join in and engaging in harmful activities. As his teacher, I advised him to care for himself more, but his reply was: ‘Who cares? Even my parents do not bother.’ His self-esteem was obviously low.

Through investigation as his disciplinarian in his school, I discovered that both parents were busy working. Early in the morning he went to school before his parents were awake. He did not see his parents throughout the day. He hunted for his own food with money supplied by them. By the time they returned home, he was usually already in bed. When I managed to see one of the parents in her working place and told her about his involvement in certain undesirable activities, she claimed he never went out for such things. According to her, despite her absence in her own house for most of the day, she insisted her son stayed at home throughout the day. She refused to face the truth!

Of course, when one courts trouble, trouble is bound to follow. The parents, one day, found policemen at their doorstep with the sad news. Gone, for the child, were some of the opportunities which could have been his.

This one weakness caused the child so much loss. It also got the family to feel guilty, to blame each other and brought disharmony into the family.

This is a problem we can prevent. In fact, we must prevent this from happening!

Nourishment for the fetus: Some dangers.

Nourishment of our child starts from the first day of life in the egg in the mother’s womb. The egg depends upon the mother’s food for the nutrients to develop the fetus.

It is just like the eggs of chickens. Today, we have people feeding chickens with omega 3 to give us eggs rich in omega 3. So, if a mother does not have sufficient nutrients or take in lots of chemicals through one means or another, would it affect the nutrients in the egg? Could it result in a weakened fetus?

The fetus gets its nutrients through the mother from the first day it is formed. From these nutrients through the mother, the fetus’ development of all the organs and body parts progresses.

Based on this knowledge, we ought to realize the importance of the mother’s health and diet during her pregnancy. Today, we are fortunate to have gynecologist for the latest knowledge on proper nutrition and care for pregnant women. Through their advice, the best possible start in life for our child can be assured.

When my wife was pregnant, we were lucky to have a specialist gynecologist attend to her. We adhered to all the advice given. She never smoke. She avoided smokers as far as possible. And she took no alcoholic drinks. she did not take any medicine or supplement not given by the gynecologist. We took healthy, balanced meals. The result was a healthy baby.

We were fortunate too when it comes to seeking advice. We never listened to the many unqualified experts on pregnancy.

It is especially dangerous nowadays to take over the counter supplements or medicine. This is especially so when it comes to medicine which claims to cure a thousand and one ailments. There was this friend who took a tonic which apparently was very good for the chronic pain in his body. He extolled the wonder of that tonic until the day it was banned for containing steroids.

Now, imagine what can happen to our children if our wives were to take something that could be harmful to the child. Could it result in malformed babies or babies with certain disabilities? Precaution here is worth our children’s whole life time. Always consult the gynecologist!

Antenatal care is essential to the fetus' health.

Do you know that antenatal care can minimize premature birth? Abnormality in the brain can occur at antenatal stage due to poor antenatal care or the health of the pregnant mother. Since a healthy brain and body, to a great extent, determine the future of your child, prenatal as well as pregnancy stage care is of great importance.

When my wife went into hospital for Cushing Syndrome, she was asked what medicine she was taking. When the doctor was told that she was not taking any other medicine except that given by the hospital, they asked a number of times whether she was taking any over the counter tonic or medicine. They suspected that whatever tonic or medicine which she had taken must have contained steroids. However, she did not. Doctors at the hospital did explain that most cases of Cushing Syndrome result from taking medicine containing steroids. Sometimes, taking such medicine is unavoidable in order to cure another sickness. In such a case, Cushing Syndrome is a side effect.

Medicine and its side effect can cause us serious sickness. Imagine what can possibly happen should our unborn child were to consume such medicine through the mother. After all, at this time, all fetuses get their nutrition from the mother. And, whatever medicine or chemicals in the bloodstream of the mother goes to the fetus as well.

What are the possible problems that come with abnormality of the development of the brain? We have cerebral palsy, dyslexia and dyscalculia.

According to medical science, cerebral palsy which impairs the flow of messages from the brain to the muscles, is an injury to the fetus’ brain during late pregnancy or the first two years of a child’s life.

Dyslexia is a learning disorder due to difficulties in recognizing and understanding written language. This is not due to low intelligence or brain damage. It is believed to be due to an abnormality of the brain. According to medical science research, reading therapy has been able to stimulate and correct the brain.
Similar to dyslexia is a mental disability known as dyscalculia which has to do with poor ability at figures in arithmetic.

However, should such problems arise, parents should not play the blame game but take positive immediate action to consult the relevant specialists to help their children overcome them and lead a normal life.

Mental health: Our child's body is only as strong as its weakest part.

Our body can only be really strong when we take care of our food, exercise, rest, emotional and physical needs.

Most of us know the importance of exercise, balanced meals and rest. Yet, there are two needs that every human needs to remain happy and focused in life.

One of them is the emotional need. When the emotional need is not fulfilled the brain may go haywire. With a disturbed mind, all interest in life and the surroundings stops. Food, exercise and rest become unimportant. When that happens, health is bound to weaken. So the body can weaken due to a disturbed mind.

Here is a true story in which no names will be used so as to protect a child. There was a thirteen year old who was cared for by another relative since her parents divorced five years ago. When the parents divorced, none of them took the responsibility of caring for her. They just disappeared from the child, on different paths to different destinations. The child slowly and gradually felt her loss. Unlike other children, she had no one to call mummy or daddy. Unlike other children, she did not have someone to run to when she felt lost in her big, big, lonely world. Unlike other children there was no one who would whole-hearted hug or love her. In her mind, she was all alone. Then, one day, her aunt suddenly found her talking to herself, telling herself things.

The aunt realized something was very wrong and fortunately, she felt responsible enough to take her to a doctor. The little girl underwent psychiatric treatment. One of the teachers told me about her, hoping that I could find help for her through The Art of Living. I talked to her to find out her problem. With the aunt’s permission, I took her to satsang and an Art of Living teacher. We taught her the bhastrika, a breathing exercise, as well as some knowledge. It got her well again in two months. She became well enough to mix around with other children.She was no longer talking to herself. Thank God for that!

So, you see, exercise, food and rest may be sufficient but if there is no emotional support, the brain may break down.

And once the brain breaks down, everything else will eventually become worse. So, as parents, we ought to look into a child's mental health too.

Recession! Retrenched? So?

In my friend’s house the other day, I got to know that his neighbor was retrenched. The guy had just bought the house and there is this big installment he had to pay each month.

With recession, there is going to be retrenchment with people losing their jobs. Times are going to be tough. Nevertheless, such times are a test of a person’s true strength. Such times can lead to greater opportunities. Such times lead us to face reality, to survive and reach out for the knob to another door.

There is a saying that ‘When one door closes, another opens.” When we are secure in our jobs, we seldom, if not never, reach out to open another door in front of us. Let us examine what are the doors available for us to open.

Before we look into the doors open to us, let us draw a deep breath and relax. Tension usually comes with problems. Tension can bring sickness and, worse, other problems to the family. There may be the blame game. We blame ourselves. We may blame other members of the family. Yet, why should there be any such acts. We ought to understand that the problem comes through no fault of anybody. It just happened because there is a global recession. It is beyond our control. That’s that! Now, let us calmly examine how we can overcome it and survive the economic tsunami that is sweeping over us.

The first thing we have to face is our financial position. Did we manage to put aside some savings? Have we been saving regularly? How much do we have in our savings? With more money saved, we can breathe more easily. We can think of many more opportunities that we can go into to create an income.

Next, we could think of the knowledge we had acquired. During my younger days, I willingly serve others without any return expected and in my generosity, I was given the opportunity to learn many things. I learned to video-tape, to edit so as to have all that is important and remove the superfluous so that the result is not boring. I learned to use software to create special effects.

I learned to repairs taps and pipes by helping friends who had plumbing problems every now and then. I am my house’s own plumber.

In another posting, I had mentioned how I had in a similar manner learned floristry and had been a part-time professional florist supplying the RHB Bank in Sungai Petani with floral arrangements in Sungai Petani, Kedah during the early 1980s

Perhaps, you are an engineer. As an engineer with basic engineering knowledge, you may search for a little more skills to make repairs. Even during recession, people need a refrigerator. Refrigerators do break down. They need repairs. Such repairs can be done in a home. Other than the refrigerator, there are washing machines, televisions, radios and computers. Be committed to the chosen work. Plan it well. Inform your relatives, friends and neighbors. Show them you care enough to do a good job and they will be returning with more work for you.

Do we have relatives and friends who may have certain skills and abilities they could teach us? I learned flower-arrangement well enough to supply an arrangement each week to a bank. This was through helping friends to make arrangements. I, later, improved my skills through books I ordered from England. I wanted the latest and the best then. That was how I became a part-time florist without a shop at one time of my life.

Relatives and friends have ideas. Of course, some are good while others are of not much value. We ought to talk to them. As we listen, ideas might be offered. Then, we can list down the ideas given as soon as we reach home. Ideas do disappear and are lost from our memory unless we put them down in a secure place. Then, slowly, with our better halves and our children perhaps, think of the ideas. How viable are they? Which is the most suitable in our community? We plan our move. Then, we implement the idea. After that, since we are on new ground, we have to evaluate our plan and our product. How good are they? Are there any weaknesses? How can we improve on them? Our friends and relatives still play a part here. Now, we can see the importance of having relatives and cultivating good friends.

So, are we literate? (Of course, we are! Otherwise we would not be reading this. However, I add this in as I hope we can use this to encourage or get someone else to be aware of the importance of being literate. Realize how important education is to our children!) How well can we read and understand? Can knowledge from books be of any use to us? I am glad I have a good command of English as I had from young realized that the latest knowledge comes in that language! You see, those days I frequented the USIS library and the British Council library to quench my thirst for knowledge. That is the advantage I derived from not having sufficient money to purchase books and magazines. I was forced to search the book-racks in those places.
What can we do? Can we cook? Are we able to do house-hold repairs? List down all our abilities. All of them can be of help and we can never know where it may lead us. We may end up being our own boss for the first time in our life!

There was a time when I cooked every day for my family. I did it to ensure my family had truly balanced meals. I did the marketing. In doing so I learned how to differentiate between fresh and stale food, I learned the difference between young and old beans and I learned how to separate a ripe watermelon from an unripe one. When I am ignorant, I am never too shy to reveal it by asking people who have the knowledge. You see, if we ask, we are ignorant until then only, if we do not, we remain ignorant forever!

At one point, I even thought of setting up a restaurant! However, God gave me only twenty-four hours and there was a limit to how much we can stretch our time. We could start small, with a stall for chips or banana fritters or anything coated with flour and deep fried in oil.

And if we have no cooking experience, literacy can still help us with information from recipe books from the library or the bookshop. We could make jams. We could bake puffs. We could sell them from home or supply someone who needs them. Tell the neighbourhood about your food. Get orders or sell them at the nearby morning breakfast center or whatever suitable outlet is available.

How about drinks? Coconut water? Some kind of healthy herbal drink? Warm lemon tea? Cool chrysanthemum tea? Soya health drink? What is available in our territory? Try out the taste. Is it suitable for our community? Try the drinks on our family, our friends and our neighbours. Do they like it? That’s research that does not need much money. We can sell them to get an income sufficient to tide us over this difficult period.

We can make rubbish enzymes from fruit peels, skin and discarded vegetables? Such things can even be obtained free from the market or restaurants’ kitchens. All we need to purchase is brown sugar and a clean plastic container. Water comes from your tap. We can sell enzymes to encourage people to use less detergent and save the planet as well. Enzymes will help improve the soil for someone’s plants.

And we should not be afraid to be seen doing more messy work than before. During the last economic down-turn in Malaysia, there was this wife of a mechanic (Actually I do not know the true reason for a mechanic to fail but ran away, they did.) moved to a larger town to become a hawker and ended up earning a lot and now lives in their own big double-story house. Fantastic? Maybe. But it is true!

Do we have space? Do we have a vacant piece of land beside our house? We could start some kind of small business on that small piece of land. Perhaps, it could be a landscaping business. Pots, fertilizer and anything else that has to do with plants could be sold. It is a business where things do not have a self life and therefore the capital cannot dwindle. And the plants get better value as they grow. If mowing the lawn is within our ability, we can also put it to good use. Well, bosses, the well-do-to and those who still work need someone to care for their lawns and gardens. People still need hobbies.

Yes, hobbies are important to life. Aquarium fish and gardening too and essentials can be a source of income.

And if we have nothing; no money, no knowledge, no skills, no friends or relatives who can teach us something to help us out, there are still lots of things that can be done. Busy people need someone to wash their cars. Working people need someone to look after their garden. Working couples need to eat. We can help with the transport. We can sell. We can do a buy-and-sell business, paying the producer after each day’s sales.

We can also become agents; insurance agents, agents for cars and whatever there is to be sold.

The only thing we cannot do without in this world is the willingness to work hard; to put in effort to earn an honest living so we can walk tall.

Of course, it is tough. Nobody ever said it is going to be easy. But then, we can be tougher when the need arises.

Teach children the dangers of playing with possibly dangerous objects.

One day when I was in a hospital to accompany my son who had dengue fever, a young boy of approximately seven years of age, was admitted with a twenty cent coin in his esophagus. As a result, he could not eat and had difficulty drinking. Every now and then, he had the urge to spit out saliva.

His condition was due to his playfulness. After buying an ice-cream he had a twenty cent coin in his hand. He saw somebody toss a peanut into the air and caught the tossed peanut in his mouth. This young boy imitated the action. He flipped his coin into the air and caught it with his open mouth. The coin went right into his throat. He felt uncomfortable but was unable to retrieve his coin. By the time he told his mother who took him to the hospital, the coin had gone down his esophagus. He was put into a ward to have surgeons try to retrieve it with a scope. However, it was easier to send the coin down into the stomach. According to the mother, the boy was told to wait until the coin exits the body through his anus. In the meantime, the boy had to fast; with the exception of water, no food was to be taken by the hungry boy. It looks like the condition itself was a punishment for the child.

Well, that was the result of playing with objects that may present a danger to our children. Parents have to tell or prevent their children from such a dangerous occurrence.

But even more dangerous things have been allowed by parents. During festival time, we have read of children playing with fire-crackers. This is an item banned in Malaysia. Yet, no authority seemed to be bothered even though the sound of them is enough to notify everybody of their availability. Well, it is still easily bought. Even children can get them. They play with them creatively; with innovation. They stuff the powder into bottles or plastic pipes before igniting the powder, sometimes blowing up their fingers or hands in the process.

Hopitalised with missing fingers, such children are in some way disabled. If only the authorities are more conscientious, if nobody had sold them such things, if parents had taught them the dangers; those children would have remain safe.
When it comes to playing dangerously, parents should use real-life everyday examples to illustrate to the children what can possibly happen. Let them see and know the consequences so that they need not have to learn them the hard way.

For example, if we were to come across the coin-swallowing case, we could point out to our child the danger. Tell our child how the coin-swallower would have to suffer unnecessary fear and hunger. Point out to our child the consequences of such an act. It could have lead to pain, fear and finally, possible suffocation. It could take some time before the coin could exit from the body. He would have to stay in the hospital, away from friends, away from school and away from happiness.

When it comes to pictures and stories in the newspapers of missing fingers due to misadventure with fire-crackers, use the pictures and the stories as visual aids to indicate the tragic consequences. We can even get our children to think of the possibility of life deprived of fingers. By teaching them about such dangers, our children will certainly avoid playing with such dangerous objects.

Teach children the dangers of playing with possibly dangerous objects.

One day when I was in a hospital to accompany my son who had dengue fever, a young boy of approximately seven years of age, was admitted with a twenty cent coin in his esophagus. As a result, he could not eat and had difficulty drinking. Every now and then, he had the urge to spit out saliva.
His condition was due to his playfulness. After buying an ice-cream he had a twenty cent coin in his hand. He saw somebody toss a peanut into the air and caught the tossed peanut in his mouth. This young boy imitated the action. He flipped his coin into the air and caught it with his open mouth. The coin went right into his throat. He felt uncomfortable but was unable to retrieve his coin. By the time he told his mother who took him to the hospital, the coin had gone down his esophagus. He was put into a ward to have surgeons try to retrieve it with a scope. However, it was easier to send the coin down into the stomach. According to the mother, the boy was told to wait until the coin exits the body through his anus. In the meantime, the boy had to fast; with the exception of water, no food was to be taken by the hungry boy. It looks like the condition itself was a punishment for the child.
Well, that was the result of playing with objects that may present a danger to our children. Parents have to tell or prevent their children from such a dangerous occurrence.
But, then even more dangerous things have been allowed by parents. During festival time, we have read of children playing with fire-crackers. This is an item banned in Malaysia. Yet, no authority seemed to be bothered even though the sound of them is enough to notify everybody of their availability. Well, it is still easily bought. Even children can get them. They play with them creatively, with innovation. They stuff the powder into bottles or plastic pipes before igniting the powder, sometimes blowing up their fingers or hands in the process.
Hopitalised with missing fingers, such children are in some disabled. If only the authorities are more conscientious, if nobody had sold them such things, if parents had taught them the dangers; those children would have remain safe.
When it comes to playing dangerously, parents should use real-life everyday examples to illustrate to the children what can possibly happen. Let them know the consequences so that they need not have to learn them the hard way.
For example, if we were to come across the coin-swallowing case, we could point out to our child the danger. Tell our child how the coin-swallower would have to suffer unnecessary hunger. Point out to our child the consequences of such an act. It could have lead to pain, fear and finally, possible suffocation. It could take some time before the coin could exit from the body. He would have to stay in the hospital, away from friends, away from school and away from happiness.
When it comes to pictures and stories in the newspapers of missing fingers due to misadventure with fire-crackers, use the pictures and the stories as visual aids to indicate the tragic consequences. We can even get our children to think of the possibility of life deprived of fingers. By teaching them, our children will certainly avoid playing with such dangerous objects.

A family is only as strong as its weakest member.

This morning, I attended the knowledge session to listen to the introduction of Patanjali in The Art of Living Centre in Kedah, Malaysia.

In the introduction is a story of how Patanjali had a thousand people gathered towards the South of Vindiya Mountain in Southern India. He told the listeners that a screen would be placed between them and him. That was the condition for imparting the knowledge. Besides that no one was to move out till the full knowledge had been completely taught.

Everyone was absorbed in the knowledge. With each new knowledge, a new realization came and the enthusiastic energy was so great they found it difficult to contain themselves. Still, they maintained their discipline.

But then, as fate would have it, a young boy felt the need to answer nature’s call. Quietly, thinking no one would notice, he went to the toilet. But when he started to move, the collective consciousness was broken. People turned their heads, looked towards the movement and started to wonder.

“Who’s that? What happened? Who is going out? Why is Patanjali behind the screen? Yes, why is he there?” And some of them lifted the screen to look for Patanjali. As they did so, the place burst into fire and all the nine hundred and ninety-nine people died. Only the boy who went to the toilet survived.

The one who survived was the weakest link in the group. He disconnected the strong chain of discipline the group had formed. He disrupted the collective consciousness. Without the togetherness, people in the group started acting as individuals with their doubts and curiosity. The fire in the story was a symbol of the kind of tragedy that can befall a group when its collective strength was destroyed, destroyed by its weakest link. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

In a family, it is also true that it is only as strong as its weakest member. A weak father, a gambler or a drunkard, can easily break up a family. A weak mother, on personal pursuits and neglecting the family can also cause chaos. A pampered child who merely wants personal demands met can bring problems to the parents and the family. Therefore it is in our interest to love, nurture, help, look into the welfare of and be responsible for every member of our family.

A night to remember.

In my earlier posting, I have revealed about my being a monotheist. I have also written about the power of the mind. Here is a story which shows how protective God is. It also tells that with God in my mind, I found peace in a house in Alor Star, Kedah, on one lonely night.

In the 1960’s I was a bachelor renting a three-room house with five other bachelors. We had a jolly good time then. Of course, it was lonely during the weekends when usually the other five journey home to Penang Island. During the two day weekend I would have the whole house to myself.

It was during one of those weekends, that I had my first experience. As the night was warm, I took my camp-bed, a bed made with wooden supports and a canvass top, and slept near a window in the hall. In the middle of the night, I heard voices passing by near the foot of my bed. I opened my eyes, looked towards the voices but saw nothing! I blinked my eyes a few times but there was nothing. The voices faded into the distance. I looked towards the window and saw the street lamp outside. I realized I was awake. It was no dream. I thought about it for a while. Eventually, tiredness helped to put me back to sleep.

The second night of the weekend, it happened again. Again, voices were heard. Again, nobody was seen. The outside street lamp confirmed I was not dreaming. This time, it took a little longer before I could go back to sleep.

I welcomed my house-mates back with such great relief. With them around, nothing happened and peace returned to my nights. Just as sure as the sun would set in the evening, the weekend came.

As usual, I slept in the hall under a fan. This time I heard voices and then, oh my gosh!, something sat on my chest. I could not move. It was heavy and suffocating! I had to get up! I could not. I kicked at the chair beside me. The chair’s legs grated against the floor. I quickly opened my eyes, looked around but the voices were gone. I did not sleep the remainder of that night.

The next night, I stayed in my room. I had it locked. Nothing could come through. Then I turned to God. I asked God for help. I could not think of a Buddhist symbol. I remember the Christian symbol. So, I drew a cross on the wall above my head. With that, I believed I had ensured god’s presence there to look after me.

Believe it or not, I just surrendered my fears to God. I did sleep well and woke up refreshed as nothing came in the dark night to disturb my rest. With the assurance of God’s presence, I knew I was safe.

Experiences from those who benefited from using coconut oil.

At the hill, after our hike, Grace asked me about my experiences in consuming coconut oil. Well, that was a tough question as I have always been healthy. For the last thirty years doctors have not been able to earn a cent from me!

Oh, no! I forgot that I did see a doctor twice a few years ago. The first time, about six years ago, it was due to my being stung by bees during the process of trying to drive them away with smoke and fire. They chased me right into my house. I was stung in numerous places, even in embarrassing parts in my loose underwear! Oh, my God! What if that thing were to…… I just would not want to imagine the consequences. So, as fast as I decently could, I went to a doctor. He gave me a jab and some medicine. Before I left, he reminded me of the seriousness of the problem and warned me that should I feel faint or dizzy I should rush to the hospital immediately. That warning left me even more worried. Living in a house all by myself, how was I to drive to the hospital when I was dizzy. (See how important your better half is to you?)

Then there was the time, I needed to check my eyes as specks of something were swimming across my sight. Looks like nothing an optician can do. So, I did see two doctors after all but not due to poor health.

I tarry too long from the topic. Alright, let us see what coconut benefit I have experienced beside still maintaining my health.

I once saw a patch of sparse hair on the top left hind slope of my head. I applied coconut oil to it besides rubbing it onto the rest of my hair after each hair wash. That area hardly looks sparse any longer, after approximately three months.

A friend of mine, Steven, told me he takes a tablespoon of virgin coconut oil each day. Immediately after the first time, there was no more constipation and waste just slipped out so easily. With a grateful smile, he delights in its wonder.

Another woman friend told me she no longer catches cold as easily as before she drinks virgin coconut oil a tablespoon each time twice a day.

A person with toothache could resort to two possible solutions. One was to coat the mouth and teeth with coconut oil or if there is no coconut oil around, use Listerine, an antiseptic mouth wash.

I once had swollen infected gums in my mouth at night. For sure effect, I gargled my mouth with about two tablespoons of pure Listerine, rinsed the mouth with tap water and coat the teeth and mouth with coconut oil. Next morning the swelling had gone!

There was this lady with some kind of skin problem. Itching a lot, she would rub her back and her legs against the sharp edges of doors and furniture. I noticed that one day and brought some coconut oil for her to apply onto her skin. Her skin has improved and the itch has apparently gone.

Perhaps you have been taking coconut oil for another purpose. Do share with us.

The power of togetherness.

Take a look around your area and you see people gather in groups in churches, temples, mosques, association premises and societies to act, practice or perform together. All these people understand the power of the group, the power of togetherness.

Take a meditation center where a group of people sit cross-legged on mats to practice. Why do they gather away from the comfort of their own homes? Imagine the inconvenience of having to dress up, travel a certain distance and wait for all members of the group to come together for the practice. It’s time consuming! Right? No. The togetherness, the vibrations and the cosmic energy generated are worth all those efforts and more. Sorry. Maybe, you do not understand what I am rambling about if you have not done meditation before.

Then, perhaps, we could go into a church or a temple or a mosque or any other religious prayer hall. As for me, I have had my experiences in many places, entering whichever prayer session I am allowed to attend. I feel His presence wherever I go. I feel the powerful cosmic energy in the many places I have been to. And the vibrations of such forces resonate beautifully as I sing hymns in churches, follow chants in temples and sing satsangs in The Art of Living. You see, I am a monotheist. I belong to God. In Him I believe.

Of course, when it comes to association meetings and society gatherings, there is usually only the togetherness, a collective consciousness, felt. The energy is still there but it is not as vibrant as that which is felt in holy places or in meditation. Togetherness is important. The energy is stronger. Without it, no proposal can get off the ground. Nothing can be achieved. It will just die a failure. However, when two or more persons decide on a course, things start to happen.

Take your own marriage. If merely one of you had wanted to marry, no marriage could have taken place. You will end up a frustrated lover! Like they say, it takes two to tango.

For proposals to be put to a vote, you need two members. For action to happen, you may need more than two. For success in any action, the whole group has to agree.

Gangsters abound in quite a number of towns. They are able to exist because of their number. The courage to do wrong is difficult to generate. The guilty conscience in everyone is too strong. Only when there is a group, can they be bold enough to commit sins and wrongs.

Next, we ought to think of using togetherness to generate a reading habit or a studying habit. (Or any other useful activity.) The library has an excellent conducive atmosphere for reading and studying as it is where people enter individually but when seated at a place, they form a group. When others are reading and studying, the desire to read, the urge to study are greater. The atmosphere exists.

Even in your own home, although the number may less, the same atmosphere can be created for the children to study if parents sit down to read or study too. Thus, the family that works together improves the chances for success.

Let us face it! Who is going to study if papa is watching television and mummy is cooking? The sound from the television will lead the children’s vision to the tele-. And with the aroma of some delicious food distracting the children’s attention, how can there be any studying?

So success in all things is greater when everyone moves together as one.

Dangers in the kitchen!

There are many dangers in our environment. In the home, there is always the danger of fire, water, furniture and decorations. Outside the home, there are vehicles and other things children play with from time to time, even during festive periods.

Very young children have to be constantly watched. Certainly, they are active, playful and curious. The only time they are not, is when they are sick.

Knowing this, an alert, responsible adult must be around them to ensure their fast actions, playfulness and curiosity do not land them in trouble.

Stoves and fires must be out of their reach. Having no proper knowledge of the stove, fire and boiling water in a kettle, they have no fear of such things.

Curiosity leads them to reach out to feel things in their surroundings. Pulling a kettle of hot boiling water can cause pain, burn and possibly a number of other injuries. Well, hot water onto the eyes can mean blindness.

Frying pans are just as dangerous. They are hot and, usually, so are their contents. A frying pan flipping through the air bringing along its fried food onto a little one’s head could leave behind more than just a trauma!

Children should not be allowed to touch food with lots of spices. If chilies, a very hot, spicy vegetable, were to get onto the hands and then those hands rub the eyes or finger the nose, there would be a most unpleasant two hours minimum suffering for the poor child.

Tell the children what can possibly happen when certain things in the kitchen are touched. Let them know as the things avail themselves at the kitchen. Knowledge is usually useful and prevention is always better than cure.

If certain experiences in the kitchen have not been written, please add them to the comment section.

Harness the power of belief for your child's success.

With evidence of the power of belief through research by medical experts into the placebo effect, through witnessing people perform incredible acts such as the piercing of sharp metal shafts into the body and yet suffer no injury and through knowing that gymnasts could gather sufficient confidence to perform unnatural movements, we should next think of how such powers can be harnessed to help our children achieve success in life.

The question here is, how? Well, first, the parents, you, must show your pride in your children’ s abilities. Tell them how good they are whenever the opportunity arises. Tell others how good your children can be, not behind their back but in their presence. Speak out loudly and clearly so that they can hear your praise and joy. Give the understanding that you believe they are capable.

Encourage your child to do whatever he/she is capable of. When the need arises, give your child a helping hand. Teach him. However, do not hurt his/her ego when doing so.

I have heard parents make the following comment, “Come on! Such a small thing and you cannot do it. Come. It’s like this. “ And if the child still could not do it, resumed with “What man? Look carefully at how papa does it. Like this, okay.”

Those words should never be used. Now let us look at it critically. What is the parent saying? “Come on! Such a small thing!’ tells the child he/she is useless. And the “What man?” indicate a loss of respect for the child’s ability. The parent is letting the child down. The parent can get a child to lose whatever belief he/she has in his/her ability. Without belief in one’s ability, where is the necessary confidence to tackle life and its problems?
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Help your child to do whatever he/she finds difficult and then either end it with praise or a consolation such as “It’s tough, isn’t it. Many people need a lot of practice to do this.” In this manner, a child is encouraged and his belief in himself or herself is not diminished. Such a child will walk the many rugged paths of life with confidence.

Prepare your child well for the life ahead. Understand his communication needs and his social development needs.

Language and knowledge are two factors that can lubricate the flow of communication. Teach him language skill early in life. Tell him as much as you can about his/her world. This means spending as much time as possible with the child. The confidence of facing a world where almost everyone can understand him or her is important to the development and the strong belief in the child that he/she is capable of staying in control of whatever situation he or she has to face.

Teach your child how to handle himself/herself wherever he/she is. If your child can handle himself or herself well, there will be less stress as popularity comes to those who mix well. Teach your child restrain, cooperation and the habit of showing joy at meeting others. The ability to mix well strengthens a child’s confidence and the belief that life can be conducted easily through his ability and knowledge.

And then there is love. Everyone needs love. It would take a very strong person to go through life without love. A lack of love caused by divorce or loss of parents can lead to a loss of confidence and the belief in the self. I have seen this lead to pressure and mental problems. Fortunately, recovery successes in such cases have been achieved through techniques taught by The Art of Living Foundation. I have personally helped one such case in 2008.

For further information on The Art of Living Foundation, please go to:

www.artofliving.org

Love gives a child the shelter to seek solace and comfort for all the pain, frustrations and fears he may come across. Love is the guiding light that leads him/her to safety. Love is the heart that never fails to comfort him/her when such a need arises. Love is everything a child needs when all else fails. Those show how necessary love is to all of us.

How can there be confidence when there is no belief? How can there be confidence when there is no love? How can there be love when there is no sufficient care? How can there be care when you do not think of the future of your family and your child?

All the above is possible. Believe it!

Gymnasts have done it through the power of believing.

If you have been following this blog, you would have read how people could walk on glowing, smoking,red-hot coals. You would have read of people who pierce long thin shafts into their cheeks or bodies and later remove them without any indication of injury to them. Unbelievable, of course, unless you understand the power of the mind.

What should interest us even more is how we can harness this power of believing to achieve our everyday success. For that, allow me to tell you how I achieve success as a state gymnastic coach.

When I did my first year of teaching in St. Michaels Secondary School in Alor Star, I assisted a more experienced coach to train the gymnasts of the school. When the experienced coach left for further studies in Australia, I took over the team and for the first time the school team became the champion team of the state. This was the case for the next four years when I was there. Frankly, I was very egoistic and strongly believe I am a better coach than all the others.

Then, just as I was getting another team together in another school, the captain of another school team had an accident and all gymnastic competitions came to a full stop in the state for the next approximately twenty years. Do you see how powerful an incident like this can have on the mind?

About ten years before my retirement, I was required to go for coach training. My school was sent Olympic standard gymnastic equipment and I immediately went to the lower form classes to select the right students.

Firstly, I wanted to know who were interested to become excellent state gymnasts. Some of those who came forward were not only interested; they walked with a confidence of being able to achieve what I planned to succeed at. They were the ones I chose, for in their walk, they showed that they believed in what I was going to do.

Then they went into training, six Malay girls and seven Malay boys. To remove any doubts as well as other obstacles regarding my method of teaching, I invited their parents to watch the training. They saw the progress their children could make and approved my method.

If you understand how gymnasts are trained, you would know that at certain parts of the training there is the need to bend backwards with arms stretched back as you jumped upwards and backwards to land on your hands while your body and legs follow through to land on your feet and straighten the body; a backward somersault. Some people dared not even jump upwards as the body bent backwards. They just do not have the confidence. Have you ever thought what is it that gives us the confidence? It is nothing but belief; belief in the coach and believe that it could be done. Without those beliefs, a somersault is impossible to achieve. Sometimes, I do come across a child who believes in the coach but does not believe she is capable of it. What can the coach do to overcome this? During my coaching I have sometimes praised and exaggerated my gymnasts’ abilities and performances to give them the necessary boost to top up their confidence and enable a movement to be performed. Yes, I have discovered that there is value in exaggeration and encouragement. For, it is especially in gymnastics that I discover the need and the importance of believing to achieve improvement. Some of my gymnasts brought back medals from national schools’ gymnastic meets.

Well, that was a true story of how the power of believing can help humans achieve something in their lives.

Do you have a story to tell? Let us hear it.

Fantastic performances through the power of belief.

For the girl I love I could do everything to make her happy. I could even die for her. However, she must not ask me to walk over burning coals. Never in my life can I picture myself doing that. There is this little coward in me which could not imagine a leisurely walk on red hot, smoking, burning coals in a big pit. Can you ever do it?

Well, many people can and they purposely present themselves for such an ordeal. Nay, it is no ordeal! For them, it is a part of a cleansing process. I am talking about the Taoist Nine Gods’ Festival in which it is believed that only a purely vegetarian diet and a cleansed heart can take you over such a pit of live coals safely.

The Hindus also have such a ceremony. I once witnessed such a ceremony. Unlike the Nine God’s walk across the pit of fire, the people at this ceremony seemed to go into a trance-like state. I remembered seeing one of those present who just felt uneasy about following the group across the red-hot charcoal pit. He withdrew when his turn came but the others just did what appeared to be the impossible.

Those people who could walk on such hot coals must have first conceived and believed that it could be done before they even dared make their first step onto the coals. The fact that they did it without getting burnt, without any expression of pain indicated the power of believing. How else could it have been possible?

Beside fire-walking, there are Hindus who pierce long sharp metal poles into their bodies. Even the nine Gods in their trance do it, piercing long thin metal into their cheeks. The fantastic part is that even when they pull out the metal shafts there is no blood or wound which needs any medical attention!

Well, after having seen all these with my own eyes, I can only conclude that all such wonders are possible because they believe it is alright to be pierced with the metal shafts and no harm could come to them as God is with them in whatever they do.

Fantastic? Unbelievable? Impossible? Yet all such feats can be seen throughout the world and when you witness it for yourself, you just have to believe what your own eyes see. For what you will see is the miracle of their belief in God.

Have you witnessed any such miracles? Please do share with us.

Napolean Hill: 'Whatever the mind can concieve and believe, it will achieve.'

I came across the words in the title of this post when I read Napolean Hill’s books. You know, these words have guided me to the numerous knowledge and achievements in my life.And I strongly believe in them.

Let me take you to the days of the witch-doctors and their effective role in their society. They held a position of respect. How did these people with hardly any medical knowledge be able to drive off evil spirits from sick bodies with such success? How did they cast spells and managed to make people sick or dead? How is it possible?

Well, according to researchers who had made a study of their methods, these witch-doctors' powers were well-known, known for their ability to achieve whatever they profess to be able to do. With their reputation, they had their society believe they were experts in their field. Then, when they wished to cast a spell, they made very sure that their victims know the spell, know that it had been cast on them by letting them realise a doll in their image had been pierced with needles. The fear and dread of the spell brought on stress and insomnia. All such fears and stress played havoc on the body and sickness followed. Should the victims be suffering from heart problems, the stress could be able to bring death even.

Well, let us move to modern times and a school where my wife taught English. In the year 1998, or was it a year earlier, my wife told me how a man teacher was worried sick because he believed he had a mild heart attack. Sometimes, a little knowledge is very dangerous. This man had read about a pain in the chest. And a few days before, he had the exact type of chest pain described in the article. He worried so much that he could not sleep, his appetite was lost and he found it so tiring to drag himself around throughout the day. He felt he was on the verge of collapse.

When my wife told me that, I discovered that that teacher had not dared to face a doctor to get the truth. I advised my wife to tell that man to see a doctor and face whatever health problem that was besetting him. You know, two days later, my wife told me that it was nothing but muscular pain in the area of the chest and the man had suddenly become his usual self again. Thus, that teacher had believed he had a heart attack and that belief had taken away his vigour and brought him despair. That was the power of believing.

Oh, yes. I almost forget about what my wife once told me about her feeling so much better upon seeing the building of the hospital whenever she was sick. Could this be an unconscious association of the hospital with getting well?

Here is a true story in a medical research on placebo. An untested pill was able to help a man recover from his cancer because he believed it was that good. However, when it was publicised that the pill failed to cure so many other cases, this man realized the pill was useless and the cancer returned. The doctor who realized it was a kind of placebo effect, gave the same man what he claimed were better and improved pills and again the man was cured. Unfortunately, when he realised once again that those pills were not what was claimed, he succumbed again and died.

Recently, medical experts did a research on placebo. The use of placebo has a long history, from the time when medicine was not as easily available, sometimes in war zones where doctors were forced to comfort their patients with injections containing merely saline solution to today where it is used to evaluate the effectiveness of a new drug.

The above mentioned medical experts eventually showed that belief can affect a cure even when no cure can possible arise from the treatment. It just shows us how fantastic our mind is. This indicates how much we can achieve if we are able to put our mind to any concievable task.

For further reading, please go to:
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=placebo-effect-a-cure-in-the-mind&sc=emailfriend