Ways to rest so as not to have to suffer pain.

When we think of strength, the thought of exercise and movement comes to mind. Most of the time, we forget the fact that the body needs rest to grow and develop strength.

When we consider strength, it ought not to mean just sleep. We can perhaps sit down somewhere and relax the tired parts of our body. Give them a break for that is what they need to stay strong and healthy.

Most of us have been told through books, trainers and teachers or even parents that sleep is the time when tired muscles recuperate, release the tension from the muscles and grow in size and power. We wake up the next morning refreshed, the aches gone and we are ready for work and play.

However, sleep is not the only time when we can give our overworked body and its muscles rest. Change of activity and movement also gives muscles and tendons of a certain part of our body the opportunity to relax as other parts get into the new movements required in the change of activities.

Let us take a hawker as an example. Hawkers sometimes have to stand for long hours at their jobs. As a result, they overstrain their leg muscles and tendons. The end up with pain in their legs. If they could shift to another activity in their jobs then it is possible to avoid such pain. For example, after serving customers by taking food to the tables and returning with used bowls for an hour, they could exchange jobs with their assistants and do some washing or cooking instead. This can prevent overworking a certain part of body, giving it a reprieve during the exchange of activity.

White-collar jobbers face the same problem. They sit slouched at their computers for too long, sometimes straining their neck in a particular angle resulting in pain to the neck and the back. Again it is over-straining of a certain part of the body. What they need is to get off their chairs away from their computer to take a walk and do some other task. If that proves to be difficult as most of the work needs to be on the computer, then get a chair with a moveable, adjustable back and arm-rest so that positions can be changed every now and then, as often as possible. Otherwise, pain will be the consequence.

So, rest may not necessarily be total rest but rather a change of position or action which involves another set of muscles and tendons, thus affording rest for certain parts of the body.

Listening is more important than talking.

This morning, at the hill, Grace told me about the couple who would talk and talk practically non-stop, giving her no opportunity at all to comment on the topic. Well, it was a one-way communication and she was forced to be the listener.

Of course, it is not bad to be a listener. In fact, very early in my life, while journeying three hundred and something miles to Kuala Lumpur to attend the motivation seminar by Lawrence Chan, I learned the importance of listening well.

However, today i wish to concentrate on this problem of some people who could get them into problems with others. It is the strong desire to talk, talk and talk, sometimes repeating the information already given previously. When something is repeated, the listener gets bored. So the talker is boring to his friends. Nobody would want that, I believe. Yet, it is an unconscious urge to listen to the person's own voice and also prove that he is an authority on the topic.

What the speaker does not realise is that when someone dominates too much and most of the things are the same old stories, everyone already knows them and are not willing to ache their ears having to tolerate the boring sounds emitting from the source. This is especially so when the listeners are given no opportunity to take part of the conversation.

It is not just the repetition that we dislike. In order for such people to last a long time talking endlessly, they put in the smallest uninteresting detail into their talk, explaining extensively what is sometimes so obvious, expected and certain.

And what is the result? As expected, most people would avoid such a talker. Excuses would quickly be given to avoid or escape from further verbal torture. Only a very few would tolerate the person and even those few would complain and at the earliest moment disappear from the scene.

I have made a study of such people. I have found that the problem arises from some causes. One of them is a habit copied from the family members. Yes, parents who talk too much or refuses to listen to other people's points of view have a great influence on their children who imitates them and become just like them. So parents ought to be careful not to turn into such long-winded, one-sided talkers.

And old people, me included, have that tendency to elaborate more than others. Especially so when the children have been away for some time and the desire to chat with them is so great. Right! So what can be done. We ought to realise our long-winded talking and do something about it. Realisation is the beginning of change. When we realise something has become undesirable, then we change and learn to allow others to voice their thoughts and help to have an interchange of feeling and ideas rather than to have a lecturer and his/her listeners.

And there are those who needs appreciation or a raise in self-esteem. These need to show others how much they know, to impress others with their knowledge. Of course, self-esteem is important to all of us. So is being appreciated. However, this can still be done without having to dominate so much as to prevent others having their say.

Eventually, the choice is our own. To know who we are, to see if we are the ones who lecture all the way and whether we feel everything is fine. Then, if we find that we do dominate, we must choose whether to change or not. Change is not difficult as realisation helps pave the way to such a change. This part is important as I have come across people who cannot see any problem with their ways despite someone pointing it out to them. Well, if they are happy as they are, we ought to wish them all the best for eventually everyone is the master of his/her own fate.

Do fathers know best?

Who knows best? We obviously do not have the right answer all the time. It all depends upon the subject in question and the people's experience and knowledge in the matter.

Of course in the prescription of medicine, the best person to turn to is a practising specialist in the particular field. Certainly, I would be the worst person to turn to even though I could have read about the sickness and the types of medicine essential to cure it. This is because I may not retain that knowledge fully as there is no necessity to do so. Worst, I may remember part of it and forget the rest. And after some time, I may be just thinking I remember it when I actually don't. After all, without usage of a knowledge, the knowledge is soon forgotten.

But should not every parent know and understand their children best? Must parents go through some kind of study to be able to perform at their best? Well, I am going to allow you the privilege to decide that after you have read the following true story.

Once, there was a very rich businessman, a billionaire, who had three daughters and three sons. He cared for all his six children well. The six children grew up, the mother passed away, and they lived with their father. One day, the old man realised that he was getting older each year and the time may come when he had to follow his wife to the other world. As all the children were already married, he decided to give most of his wealth to them. Well, you would expect every child of his to get a share, right? Unfortunately, that was not the case. He gave millions to each son but nothing to the daughters, not even a smaller portion of what he gave the boys!

The boys were extremely happy with such wealth heaped upon them and the girls suffered the disappointment of being neglected in the process. Luckily, the girls and their families were not poor. They and their husbands were capable, have their own businesses and had all that they needed. So they got over their disappointment quickly and went on with their lives.

Now, that old father did not die in the expected next few years. However, that did not mean he was still strong. In fact he weakened so much that he needed someone to attend to him and his servants. He requested his sons to assist him but none turned up.

God must have been kind for giving him daughters with warm hearts of gold. for the daughters, when they heard that their poor father needed help, they responded admirably. They helped him as much as they could.

The old man discovered that the daughters he did not allow to inherit some of his millions were the ones who went to him in spite of what he had done. Realising his mistake, the old man did try to make amends by offering them his money but they refused to have anything to do with his money although they continued to give time and asistance whenever they could.

It was a simple case of father not knowing what was the best thing to do. Love for the children from the parents should be equal and fair but some stupid customs and traditions have warped the thinking of people. sometimes even modern knowledge and understanding cannot erase the wrong beliefs and thoughts of people who have been brought up to think in a certain manner in so many matters.

That is why we need people who have the courage to change, to gather knowledge, to understand and think straight, to look and be able to differentiate bright from dark, white from black, or right from wrong. Till then this world will have people who believe in wrongs and fight or stand for such wrongs.

Do away with monopoly!

We have had the experience of having monopolies in the many types of businesses that are found in our world.

My friend commended that when we first moved into our residential area, there was only one sundry shop, the Bee Ean Shop. Whenever we needed toothbrush, soap or some other daily necessities, we went to that sundry-shop as there was no other in the area. At the beginning everything was fine as the shop-keeper tries to please and his goods are still fresh although slightly more expensive than elsewhere.

Then, gradually the service becomes worse as the shop-keeper realised that we just had to get things from him or inconvenience ourselves by going to the next residential area to buy our things.

Prices shot up and things are always expensive. And when the consumers complained about the goods or the service, the arrogant shop-keeper told them if you are not happy to get the things there you can always buy them from elsewhere or the supermarket which is some distance away and quite inconvenient. Inconvenient it might be but then when the arrogance could no longer be stomached some did go elsewhere to purchase their sundries, especially when the shopkeeper kept hollering at the top of his voice,"If you do not like it here, you can go elsewhere to get your goods! No one is gonna stop you.Go! Go back to the village you came from!"

Fortunately, another sundry, the Pa Kat Than Shop, came onto the scene and soon the consumers of the residential area were happy again as service was better and goods were sold at competitive prices. The new shop-keeper was so much more pleasant in dealing with the people.

Therefore it is always better not to have monopoly in anything as monopolies tend to become belligerent, expensive and refuse to treat all the customers well. The customers must have a choice; choose the shop-keeper who treats his customers politely, acknowledging that without those customers there can be no business, to choose the shop from which to purchase goods which are fresh and good, well kept, tidy and clean. Choose the shop which welcomes every consumer, giving us equal treatment.

The opportunity to choose is important and so we have to do away with any monopoly. The residents of our housing area are now happier as if one shop can give us better and cheaper goods, we go to that shop. If the owner ever becomes arrogant, we can always move to the other shop. Even if both of them become too proud to serve us well, we still have a choice of where the goods are fresher or cheaper.

Similarly with supermarkets, when there are more than one supermarket, the consumers are sure to benefit. Services are better, more choices will be the outcome and prices will not be too high as people can compare and decide which supermarket serves their interests better. We all have a choice. No only that, we get the best possible choice. And should any supermarket changes its policy regarding its goods or its prices and services, we can always shift our shopping elsewhere. The consumers are king can persuade all the supermarkets to look inot our interests in all its dealings.

So, let us do away with monopoly and encourage competition as that will help us to change our choice of service, goods and prices at any time we wish.

Always leave the mind open to changes.

I have heard and read so much about how chemotherapy can do so much harm to our cells, killing them as the chemicals kill cancer cells that I believed those who did not go for chemotherapy but got cured through alternative therapy did the right thing. Certainly, they did prove that alternate therapy did work for them.

There was this friend who got bone cancer. As she weakened she told me she refused chemotherapy which was advised by her doctor as she saw with her own eyes those who went through chemotherapy succumb to its side-effects, weakened and died so fast after that.

But then, she continued to weaken and eventually had to be bedridden as her legs could no longer bear the weight of her body and pain was fairly constant. She weakened to such a stage where she decided to accept the doctor's advice to go for chemotherapy.

And do you know what the result was? Together with some supplements from alternative therapy, she strengthen sufficiently to get off her bed and was able to walk around with a walker. Apparently, chemotherapy did work for her. Perhaps the supplements from the alternative therapy lessen the side effects and helped her towards her recovery from her weakness.

Well, obviously, I have to keep an open mind to chemotherapy. There certainly is nothing wrong in changing our perception of anything should such a thing prove to be good. We are constantly finding new information, knowledge and ideas and unless we are open to them, we retard our own progress. These new information, knowledge and ideas can put a new perspective on all that we know.

Even the best laid plan can go wrong. Isn't that life?

There was that day I looked forward to an outing with a very special. beautiful friend. The night before I went to bed early and set my alarm for 5,45am. I woke up athe second the alarm went off, stretched happily and jumped out of bed. A good bath, breakfast and a quick change of clothes got me ready to move out. Then, all of a sudden, the sound of the torrent of water poured from the sky and dashed my hopes of meeting that special friend.

Today, I was planning to write about one person who would certainly be an inspiration for all of us. Unfortunately, since nine o'clock in the morning, the electricity in my area was cut off and there was no opportunity to write anything much till seven-thirty, after my dinner.

As we can see, things are sometimes beyond our control. It happens. Some are happy happenings while others can be sad.

There was a time when a girl friend and I were getting closer and closer. Then, some unforseen incident happened and that was the end of our beautiful relationship. That incident was really sad as she was such a wonderful person. I often wonder how that could have happened. Eventually, I had no alternative but to put it down as fate. It must have been our fate for the sudden change to take place.

So, I have accepted the fact that change can happen and we have to accept it. It is part of our life. We can plan. We can dream of a future but that dream may not meterialise due to circumstances beyond our reckoning. It just happens and before we could make any remedy, things have changed and will never be the same again.

Whatever it is, where there is life there is always hope, there is always a chance that things may happen to bring us our dreams. Therefore, life is always precious and we should live our present time to its fullest as that is the only way to ensure that the future will be even better, with dreams that may come and hopes that may arise.

Knowing that things can change, there is the element of chance and opportunity for what we may not think is possible. There is that sense of adventure into the unknown, a time for surprises and new experiences.

Thus, regardless of how plans may go haywire, regardless of the changes that may come, life is worth the living. And armed with the best health possible, I look forward to all possibilities. That is how we should live life.

For the sake of love, don't force it. Let it happen naturally.

Once a person wants someone to change, the change will happen. But it would not be the change the person wants. The intensity of the love will change and soon dilution occurs. Love gradually fades away.

This happens because the implication of requesting change is you are not pleased with the present person. You do not like a part of that person. So, there is doubt about your love. For, love is supposed to be blind.

A lover cannot be a disciplinarian. He cannot demand that the one he loves do such and such a thing even though it is for her own good; even if she realizes that he is doing it because he cares.

All those who have loved and lost must examine this important aspect of love, for success can only be achieved when there is no demand despite weaknesses seen. To love someone is to except the person as he or she is. When you except someone, then you have the belief you can put up with whatever minus points the person has. That is the only way to start a marriage.

Anyway, there is no such thing as a perfect person. That person does not exist! Only God is perfect.

So, we have to ask ourselves, do we love the person enough to overlook everything else? Can we love the person despite anything else?

If there is love, the person with the weaknesses will take the initiative to change on his/her own. That is done to make the other person happy; to improve oneself so as to be appreciated even more; to be loved even more.

Do you remember your first date? Do you remember how you take the trouble to brush your teeth thoroughly? You test your own breath by placing your hand in front of your mouth so that the air from your mouth can reach your nose and you know that your breath is not smelly.

Do you remember how you dressed to please? Do you remember how you smile as charmingly as possible? Do you remember how anxious you were to please that someone? All these because of love! Love will change us for the better.

So, no matter how much you love or care for someone, let change happen naturally. Don’t force it!