Love carries no guarantee.

"How can the son beat up his own father?' Incredible as it seems, such things do happen, for all persons have feelings and different people have different levels of control over their emotions and actions. Of course, the unexpected and unacceptable act here is based on the belief that a son would never hurt a father whom he ought to love.

People tend to forget that love for someone depends upon the care and attention given. In an earlier post I have written about everything in life being like a wall with our actions like a rubber ball, a ball which would bounce back in return the same way we had thrown it. You throw gently and gently the ball would return. Throw it hard and it bounce back just as hard. Throw a smile and a smile is what you will get. Glare at someone and the person would respond similarly. Love the child and the child would love you just as much. Ignore the ball and it would not react. Love from a child, like everything else, is the same.

Some parents do not bother to spend time with their children, merely letting them grow up by supplying food and drinks as well as a shelter. These parents give attention and love to the children only when they were cute and cuddly. Then as they grow up, become less cute and cuddly and more of a nuisance when natural curiosity cause them to hold this or that, breaking things in the process, parents may lose interest and get fed-up with them. With time, such parents, sometimes due to a heavy workload, may even ignore the children very often. (In fact, as a disciplinarian, I had a case in which the father returns home very late at night only when the son was asleep and was still asleep when the son woke up to go to school. Of course, it led to no communication between father and son. The son felt neglected and soon problems cropped up.)

so, with a feeling of being neglected, can we blame the child for his unhappiness at being expected to respect or obey his parents?

Do you know that being neglected can be very painful, especially when the neglect is by someone we love? It is, I can tell you that. But then, how do children demand not to be neglected? There just isn't any way children can overcome the problem except to sulk and show his unhappiness through some undesirable act or behaviour. And should the parents still do not give the expected attention, love gradually goes out through the window. Being somebody's child does not mean that the child must love that somebody. Love is not guaranteed. It has to be fostered and grown.

Therefore, parents must be responsible and not think of having a child unless they are ready and willing to give love, time and effort to the individual we have caused to start life on this earth. As parents, we are responsible for his growth and well-being in every sphere of life. Being a parent is a great responsibility as the child's presence and his/her deeds will have an influence, be it good or bad, on the lives of every body in his vicinity, if not the world.

Mental health: Our child's body is only as strong as its weakest part.

Our body can only be really strong when we take care of our food, exercise, rest, emotional and physical needs.

Most of us know the importance of exercise, balanced meals and rest. Yet, there are two needs that every human needs to remain happy and focused in life.

One of them is the emotional need. When the emotional need is not fulfilled the brain may go haywire. With a disturbed mind, all interest in life and the surroundings stops. Food, exercise and rest become unimportant. When that happens, health is bound to weaken. So the body can weaken due to a disturbed mind.

Here is a true story in which no names will be used so as to protect a child. There was a thirteen year old who was cared for by another relative since her parents divorced five years ago. When the parents divorced, none of them took the responsibility of caring for her. They just disappeared from the child, on different paths to different destinations. The child slowly and gradually felt her loss. Unlike other children, she had no one to call mummy or daddy. Unlike other children, she did not have someone to run to when she felt lost in her big, big, lonely world. Unlike other children there was no one who would whole-hearted hug or love her. In her mind, she was all alone. Then, one day, her aunt suddenly found her talking to herself, telling herself things.

The aunt realized something was very wrong and fortunately, she felt responsible enough to take her to a doctor. The little girl underwent psychiatric treatment. One of the teachers told me about her, hoping that I could find help for her through The Art of Living. I talked to her to find out her problem. With the aunt’s permission, I took her to satsang and an Art of Living teacher. We taught her the bhastrika, a breathing exercise, as well as some knowledge. It got her well again in two months. She became well enough to mix around with other children.She was no longer talking to herself. Thank God for that!

So, you see, exercise, food and rest may be sufficient but if there is no emotional support, the brain may break down.

And once the brain breaks down, everything else will eventually become worse. So, as parents, we ought to look into a child's mental health too.