Do not put obstacles into the path of the learning child.

What can possibly happen when a child is given the understanding that his future is planned for him so that there is no necessity for him to worry about a job or any financial situations in his life?

And if that child happens to be a student, what would be that child's attitude towards schooling? Perhaps, some children could still want to study to improve himself. Some may even want to study even harder because he understands that he must be capable enough to manage not just ordinary workers but professionals as well.

However, as a retired teacher who was in charge of a class where one of the students qualify to be the child I am thinking of in this posting, I found such a child to be arrogant.

From the very first day I entered that class, he clearly indicated that he was there not to study but to enjoy himself. First, he does not tuck in his shirt. My first duty to him was to teach him that there are rules to be followed and the most basic one was to be properly attired. Being a gymnastics coach as well as a physical education instructor, I was no weakling. He knew it and getting him to wear his clothes properly was easy but the problem came when he always wore slippers. I told him about the right foot-wear to use, even had him sent home but, with the help of his parents, he managed to get away with wearing slippers to school so often.

In fact, the mother even had the temerity to show up at a Tai-Chi class I was attending and told me to let her son be. Another lady who happened to be her friend was at the same class and when this friend heard her tell me off, she was shocked sufficiently to speak up and inform her that she was the one who was teaching the child bad behaviour and ought to apologise to me. That was a good one! That boy's mother must have cursed her misfortune at meeting her friend there, a friend brave enough to tell her off.

I would say that the mother got what she deserved. Thinking they were rich, the parents thought education and good manners were not necessary for their children. So, their poor child in my class would be absent every now and then for no valid reasons other than that he wanted to follow the father to another part of the country or overseas. Of course, as expected, he lost a lot of studying hours and eventually failed his final examination.

According to that child, there was nothing to be worried about as his father's position would be his one day. The unfortunate thing is that the child refused to think further than that even when I asked him about his other brothers and sisters. That has always been the trouble with undeveloped brains which could not visualise further into the future.

In a way I was helpless to do anything much for him as no advice, talk or discussion could lead anywhere but the belief that he did not need a paper qualification(Well, I must admit i have to agree with them on this to a certain extent.), knowledge or correct behaviour in his life as he will be the one in charge and others would have to behave properly, listen and follow his instructions.

Well, his first teachers, his parents, had certainly taught him well about being the boss in his parents' factory. They have done their job a little too well and others find it difficult to undo the harm they have done.

With such an attitude, without sufficient knowledge or the right behaviour, would this child do well in life? As far as I know, he did not. I only hope that it is not too late for the school of hard-knocks to bring some positive changes to him.

Learning how to demand.

The child yelled loudly and stomped his feet demanding that he be given a kind of food kept in the refrigerator. Despite the parents explanations about it being too close to lunch time for him to have such a snack, he continued to shout and cried at the top of his voice. And the result? He knew he would get what he wanted. And he did. He got his snack, no matter almost lunch time or not. Yes, children learn fast. He has learned the use of a tool for successfully obtaining things.

Who taught him how to use this tool? It is the first adult who inadvertently gave in to his demand through crying. This adult rewarded his behaviour. It proves to the child such crying brings results. Then, as the second and third crying episode reinforce the fact that adults' resolve melts to cries for things, the belief that this is an excellent method is consolidated with all those successes.

So, never pay any attention to a crying demand. Tolerate the noise for ten or fifteen minutes and soon the weeping will subside and he would understand that crying does not work with his parents or those people who do not encourage it. For this child, experience would have taught him not to cry for things but use more subtle ways to persuade and explain the need for something. It is also the right and acceptable way to finding success in life. In life, people look upon loud demands with aghast. However, if people are approached properly and given the right explanations, they can be persuaded to act in accordance with the desire of the speaker.

As it is bad upbringing to cultivate such behaviour as crying and loud demands, parents ought to not bow down to it but ignore the child. If the food demanded is good for the child, when the crying has stop for some time, give the food to him/her. And when doing so, tell the child quietly, that he must never use crying to get things; that things that are good for the child would be given when asked for properly.

For example, if we know our children likes yogurt, buy it even before he/she asks for it. And to encourage good mannerisms, buy happily what is requested in a proper manner. It teaches the child that good manners and behaviour lead to correct attention to needs.

This is in fact what leads to us having the different types of children in this world; those who are loud and rude as well as those who are proper and polite; those who stride out with confidence and those who lack it. All these behaviours are the results of actions and teaching from their first teacher, the first people they come into contact with since birth, most probably the parents.

So, parents are the most important people in this world. The future of the world and this universe depends upon them. Whatever the results, we stand to suffer or benefit from them.

Of course, it is not totally the parents who bear full responsibility, for the adult is moulded by not just the parents, although parents usually have the most influence, but also other people in learning institutions and society; almost everyone the child comes into contact with.

Train teachers who are chosen from the best possible.

For a nation to progress in every sphere, its teachers must be the best. If a leader of a nation were to think that you do not need to be really good at something to teach it, then the citizens are heading for some disappointment when the desired results are not achieved within a specified time.

We ought to remember that unless a person is excellent in a subject and knows it thoroughly, the person cannot be a truly good teacher. That is why we usually choose a world-class player to coach his/her game. That is also why we put people who were good at sports to teach physical education. It is also the reason for choosing an excellent mathematics student to be trained in the methods of teaching mathematics.

Yes, even an excellent mathematics student has to be trained in effective teaching methods to become a good capable teacher. In fact, an excellent mathematics student may not become an excellent teacher unless he/she has the interest, the right aptitude and undergoes a proper training. Similarly, a world class footballer may not be able to be an excellent coach unless he/she has the interest, the aptitude and the training to be a coach.

Of course, anyone who is good at something and interested in imparting his/her knowledge and skill can eventually be excellent as a teacher or coach; but without training, that could take a longer time through learning from experiences of failures and successes. Training is the providing of invaluable proven effective methods through the experiences of many other teachers.

Sometimes, leaders of a nation, to solve the problems of unemployment or some other problems in their country and sometimes for their own selfish ends, take in people who have neither aptitude nor the interest to be trained as teachers, doing great injustice to the future generation of their nation. How can they ever believe that people who have neither aptitude or interest in teaching would ever put in their utmost to conscientiously develop the minds and bodies of the young to their highest potential?

Parents are the first teachers of their children and do naturally have an interest in their children’s development. And in their natural love for their children arises the desire to do their best for them. Unfortunately, some may not be good enough at the skill of imparting knowledge effectively. This is where a government should think of giving methodology to parents though the various media. Talks, articles and shows on parenting would certainly help to create a more knowledgeable society. This would go a long way in improving the minds and progress of every citizen, thus improving the human capital of a nation.

A tribute to the teachers.

I received the email below from a teacher. As a retired teacher myself, I know that there are places where teachers are not well respected. Of course, there are instances where teachers themselves are to blame for some of them, like some in the other professions, treat their work as just another means to a pay-check. But then, there are good, if not excellent, teachers who are truly dedicated to their profession. Such teachers throughout the world ought to read what one lady has to say about a teacher's job and what she thinks of those who have no respect for the jobs done by others. I totally agree with her and therefore, I would like to thank the writer of this article. Unfortunately, I do not know who he/she is and therefore am unable to request for permission to have it put here.
(The words in brackets are mine.)
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Article is sent from a friend, share it with all teachers here....

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO (proud of being a professional), decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, ‘What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?' (I decided to be a teacher even when I was in primary school simply because a few of my teacher were great in inspiring me to do something meaningful in life and teaching is one of those things.) He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers:'Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.' (That is obviously from someone who do not understand for I am one of those who can use as well teach English very well.) To stress his point he said to another guest; 'You're a teacher, Mary. Be honest. What do you make?' Mary, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, 'You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second, and then began...)

'Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I make a C+ feel like the Medal of Honor. I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental. You want to know what I make?' (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table.)
''I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions. I teach them to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn't everything. I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in maths. They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator. I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know in English while preserving their unique cultural identity. I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe. I make my students stand, to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the National Flag, and sing the National Anthem, because we live in this great country. Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life.'

Mary paused one last time and then continued, then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant..... You want to know what I make. I MAKE A DIFFERENCE. What do you make Mr. CEO?' His jaw dropped, he went silent.

THIS IS WORTH SENDING TO EVERY TEACHER YOU KNOW. and all your personal teachers like mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, grandparents, your spiritual teachers, (everybody, for everyone of us who do take time to teach a child is a teachers. Just as I have said before, every parent is a teacher to his/her child.)

Cultivating responsibility.

"He's the one who approach his parents to inform them of what his brother's and sisters need. The other children look towards him for advice whenever problems arise and their parents are not nearby." One neighbour was telling another about a young man who just went into one of the houses across the street from where they lived.

"Well, what do you expect? He's always been like that since all of them were young. Their parents are always so busy, so he is the one who tends to their needs most of the time," the other neighbour agreed to the comment on that young man.

"It's certainly not in the genes as the other children are not that way," noted the neighbour.

"How is it that he is such a responsible one even when he was in his teens?" wondered the other neighbour.

"What do you expect? He is the eldest and so on his shoulders fell the responsibility of looking after the younger ones when the parents had to be away at work."

"However, it is not always the case that the eldest are given the most responsibility. Sometimes, if the eldest have to go elsewhere for studies or work, a younger child may be given the responsibility of looking after the rest or getting things done in the home."

"That's true. I know the second child in a family who has develop such a sense of responsibility as the eldest had to work while the third or last child was too small to be given any responsibility."

"When you think about it, it's so important to establish that sense of responsibility in every one of our children. It would make him disciplined and be responsible for every aspect of his/her life."

Bring responsible is such an important characteristic of a person that every family ought to think of ways to instill it our precious children so that they will grow into responsible adults in our society.

If an adult feels responsible for him/herself and everything in the world around him/her, then what a beautiful world this would be. This responsible person would certainly do the necessary to perform as well as possibly be, search for no excuses but look for opportunities to improve not just him/herself but as much of anything he/she comes into contact with in everyday life.

To cultivate such a sense of responsibility, children from as young a age as possible should be given responsibilities. Responsibilities need not be difficult. "Please tell mummy when daddy/brother/sister comes home." is a responsibility that any young child who understands the instruction can perform. "Come and help daddy pick up all the toys." is another responsibility. "Please take the towel from the basket and give it to daddy." is another responsibility. Then, as the child grows older, there is the responsibility of collecting the clothes, the responsibility of reminding someone of something and the task of hanging up the clothes to dry when the washing machine has completed its job.

Of course, just being responsible may not be perfect yet. Cultivating the right positive attitude is just as important.

Sometimes we need to play rough.

I must admit I am no angel. Even after realizing the existence of God, karma and reincarnation, there have been times when some of the things I did, especially when I was young, were nothing to be proud of. They are things I ought to be ashamed of. Nevertheless, I must insist that sometimes such deeds are necessary.

One of such deeds was carried out on a rugby field. I was in form four then and was a member of a rugby team. As I was then comparatively quite powerfully built (I had been into weight-lifting.) with good stamina too, (I was in my school’s Cross-Country teamas well as the Round-The-House Relay team.) I was chosen to be the hooker who is the player right in the middle of every scrum.

In one of the games we played against another team, there was this huge opposing player who always puts out his hand with his fingers stretched forward to dig into our eyes. After a few of us got hurt by him, we decided to put an end to the nonsense. The referee was unable to do anything as it happened so fast as the ball was carried towards the touch-down line. He was the biggest guy on the field and, individually, we were no match for him. The only way to seek retribution was to unite as a force to teach him a lesson and indoing so put forth a message to him. We knew we had to do it again and again until this foe understands that we were going out for him.

So, the next time one of us managed to tackle him down to the ground, everyone of us moved in, pretending to get the ball when our actual aim was to kick him and hurt him enough to have him think why we were acting that way. We had to make him realize he would never get away with jabbing his fingers into our face and our eyes.

I took us three, or was it four, times of dealing out such a punishment before he got the message that we intended to teach him a lesson. Eventually, he stopped poking his fingers into our players’ faces. When that happened, we stopped our punishment.

Well, rugby is a rough game, certainly not for true gentlemen. We had to play rough to stop any more injury from him. We proved that a bully can be stopped if everyone can be united to accomplish a goal.No, we were not proud of what we did. But we were proud of what we achieved. We taught a bully a lesson, we stopped further injury to ourselves and we learned the benefits of being united. So, even in such a rough and tough game, lessons can be taught and learned.

It was a lesson which I did apply to real life every now and then especially when faced with gangsterism as a discipline teacher. That is another story I may tell you one day.

Demands, demands and demands.

“Do something about it! That man scolded me,” she shouted angrily at the son.
“But mon, you did dirty his floor,” the son tried to put some sense into his mom.
“What! Are you saying that he can scold me and get away with it?”
“Mom, I told……….”
“Don’t you talk back at your mom! How can you take the side of that man? I’m your mother, you know?”
The poor exasperated son , realizing nothing could get his mother to see reason, quickly walked away from the scene to escape further embarrassment.

That mother demanded for action, right or wrong, to be taken. Her demands had to be attended to or she would throw her usual tantrums. Why are some mothers or fathers, or anybody for that matter, be like that?

It all started when this mother was young. She learned then the art of getting things her way. She found the method one day and through years of practice have built it into her life to have things her way.

Young children, not just the present day ones, are clever and know how to wrap their unwary parents or grandparents around their little fingers. Throwing tantrums is quite a successful and popular technique and too-loving guardians and parents just are no match for some of these tiny little tots.

As a parent, I remember taking my wife, my two children, my mother-in-law and her granddaughter to an outing. There was this procession with a lion dance in it. It was something I felt I would like to have my children enjoy. It was after lunch and all of us ought not to be thinking of food.

Just then, as we were watching and enjoying the sight of a lion prancing around near us, the ringing bell of the ice-cream man attracted the attention of the little girl, my mother-in-law’s granddaughter. She demanded for ice-cream. When none of us paid her any heed, she stamped her feet and cried. My wife and I paid her no attention as we did not want our children to learn such behavior. If we were to buy ice-cream for her, then my two boys would come to understand that that was the way to get attention and whatever they wanted.

With the grandma there, of course, the girl succeeded with her technique. She knew it would get results. She got her ice-cream.

I did buy ice-cream for my two children when they were young but not when they shouted, screamed and demanded. From young, I have taught them love. I have always taught them what is good for them, what is the right thing to do and the way to doing it. When I see something tasty like the ice-cream in the supermarket, I would buy it for them to try the taste. At other times, I would not buy the ice-cream but get them some tasty fruits instead and teach them that fruits are better than ice-cream. Sometimes or as they grow up to understand better, I would explain to them the advantages of eating certain food over other food.

There is a lot of advantages in communicating with your children. Communication leads to a kind of closer relationship. Today, there are certain things my sons are better at or are more knowledgeable than me and because we easily communicate, they would tell me the things I do not know. Isn’t that wonderful?

Thus, we ought to talk to our children rather than just succumb to their demands and tantrum. Should a child throw a tantrum, parents must love them enough to stand firm and teach them why a thing ought not to be done then and teach them to communicate properly.

Of course, I have noticed that sometimes a tantrum is brought on by parents. A child may be hungry and needs food badly but uncaring(?) parents refuse to respond to complains of hunger; perhaps too engrossed in something such as an interesting conversation with a friend. To attract attention to his/her problem a child may be forced to complain even louder, gradually shouting and screaming for attention to a real problem. Only when a tantrum occurs do such parents stop whatever they could have been doing to attend to the child, indirectly teaching the child to throw tantrums or make demands.

How then can we fault such a child? That was what she had been taught or trained through a natural necessity to behave thus. If that child remained unaware of her problematic behavior, it can lead to an inability to understand that no one in society would pamper her with attention whenever she demands it. Success in being easily accepted by society, and even family members, can be crippled by such parenting.

Thus, it is important that children should never be allowed to continue or taught to throw tantrums.

Knowledge alone does not a good teacher make.

Being a good, if not excellent teacher, is one of the most important things in life. In the first few posts I wrote, I have already said that everybody, especially those who are parents, is a teacher. A parent is the first teacher to his/her children.

Some parents fail because they never know how to be a good teacher to their children.
"I always tell them not to do it. They never listen," the parent would exclaim.
Of course they never listen because the parent was not teaching. The parent was demanding that the children obey. Who wants to obey demands? Would you? Certainly not! Nobody would willingly obey demands. Under threat, the children would put on a show of obedience. It is only that, nothing more.

Teaching has not taken place until something has been learned. You may have the child write down the knowledge, copy the mathematical examples but unless the child can understand the knowledge and is able to apply it, the child has not learned. Thus, if child has not understood the usage of past tense verbs, know that their forms change with difference tenses and applied them in sentence making, he could not be said to have learned it well. Similarly, a child who can only copy mathematical examples but did not understand how it is worked out, so cannot use the knowledge to solve mathematical problems, cannot be considered having learned what was taught. How we get the children to understand the knowledge well enough so as to apply it in usage is the technique or method.

Similarly, a child who does not understand why he cannot draw on the walls of his home when everyone has been buying him crayons and pencils, encouraging him/her to draw on pieces of paper. The child needs explanations to understand why that is not allowed. Not: Don't you dare draw on my wall! The voice is threatening. But when the threat is no longer around, and there is no more paper, why not draw on the available wall?

Of course, teaching through explanation can be long and tedious but children need to understand.

Some think that knowledge is all it takes to be a good teacher. If that is so, many parents would fail as most of them do not gather sufficient knowledge of children before childbirth. It is not so much the knowledge but the love and the desire to teach well.

Knowledge where children are concerned is actually a lot of common sense. Then again, common sense is not common at times. No fear for we ourselves have been children and when in doubt there are always the elders in the family or the community to turn to for the few times when we are in doubt. So long as parents bring up their children with love and patience, listening to them and understanding their needs, making sure they are always safe and teaching them by talking politely and teaching about the world with the right language usage, everything ought to turn out fine.

Remember that our children learn through imitation. Shout and scream at them most of the time and that is what they would do to us. Use vulgar language often and that would be what they do too. Spit and throw rubbish anywhere we like and that would be exactly what they would imitate. Ride the motorcycle around without any respect for the law and order and that would be how the children regard the law. Be cruel, vicious and selfish and those are the things they would learn. We teach them that! How can we expect anything different? What do we expect?

Here, let me digress a little., I remember how much I wanted to be successful in love and marriage in my early twenties. I read everything there was about love, successful marriage and child upbringing. Seeing me armed with all that knowledge, God played a trick on me with two lost loves and no prospect of ever getting married even at the age of twenty-eight when almost every friend of mine had already settled down to family life. Fortunately, God relented by sending me my wife when I was almost thirty. And my first child came when I was forty years old. Well, sometimes things just do not go the way you want.

Okay, back to being a good teacher. In teaching, the most important thing is technique. You may have the knowledge or the know-how but if your teaching technique is ineffective, the children would not be able to understand, remember and apply what is taught. Yes, whatever technique is used, it must be EFFECTIVE.

In my thirty-six years of teaching English, art and craft, and gymnastics, I found that the right technique or method for the type of children and the subject makes the difference.

You see, there are so many individuals in our world. Our approach towards them, be they adults or children must suit them to be effective.

There are the slower ones who find comprehension of things a little slow. With them, we have to be slower. There has to be a lot of repetitions and examples before understanding sinks in. There must be patience. Since such children are slow, learning is a bit tedious. To avoid the mind from slipping off elsewhere, there must be some short amusing or interesting digressions. Concentration for some people may be short.

Yes, concentration on serious matters may be short. That is one reason, when faced with such children, I sometimes throw away the syllabus; something the principle would never agree. I had to tell the principle that I would be responsible for my own action if any inspector were to appear. After all, we are always told to go from the known to the unknown which is logical and correct. How can teachers be expected to teach children to write complex sentences when they cannot even write correct simple sentences.

In different classes and subjects, we should use different appropraite methods. In literature, for example, I use a lot of actions, movements and drama to illustrate the story.Too many explanations with meanings can interfere with the flow of the story.

Well, there are just too many types of children and methods to go into; it would take one whole book to go into them thoroughly.

To acquire knowledge is fairly easy. How do we acquire these technigues or methods? To have effective techniques or methods is important as it would be the difference between a lousy, average, good or great teacher. To be good at them, we have to be flexible, ever willing to learn and borrow from others, to learn and imitate others, be critical of our own methods and be prepared to change our attitudes and methods where and when suitable. This applies to all teachers, no matter whom or where we teach, be it our own children in our own homes, pupils in a school, workers in our factories or members in our societies and communities.

There are certain methods which we are good at and suitable for certain circumstances or people. However, we have our weaknesses too in certain matters and if we are lucky enough to find someone who have a better method, there is nothing wrong in learning from the person. In fact, I always consider it to my credit that I am not too old to be unable to learn. It also takes a strong character to face criticism and use such criticism to improve where necessary. Do not scold the messenger for sending you knowledge of your faults. Take courage to overcome the faults and, as I have said in a previous post, become an even better person. Yes, change for the better.

I have often told friends that only the dead cannot learn or change for the better. The living is constantly learning and changing, for better or for worse; hopefully for the better, of course.

experiences, knowledge, people, teaching, understanding