What cost the lost of one's temper?

One morning, not too early by most standards as it was already nine-thirty, the children at a kindergarten were rudely scolded by a hoarse loud voice from the balcony of a house across the street.

The voice came from a tall man in his pyjamas, his hair unkempt, his face foaming at the mouth, saliva spitting forth as his mouth released its venom with unprintable words at the kindergarten children enjoying themselves in a game, their shrill laughter piercing the bright cool air.

The man at the balcony was obviously angry at being awakened by the children's voices. Yet, it was not too early for children to be at play. His scolding shocked the kindergarten teachers and a few parents who were around in the compound of the house used as the kindergarten.

The children were just as shocked at the tall devilish figure in the balcony. There was instant silence. None of the people present were able to rouse themselves out of the sudden interference into their activities.

And the man appeared to be satisfied to have quelled the cacophony of boisterous children. He turned and slowly retreated into his room. It took some time before the children resumed their play and laughter.

What was in the mind of the adults? They found it ridiculous that a matured man could not have the intelligence to understand that children at play are like that, with their noise accompanying their playful actions. They believed that man was too rude to the innocent children whose only 'wrong' was to be children. Furthermore, it was not as if it was six in the morning when one could expect some people to be still in bed.

Well, the man lost his temper and his good name in just a few minutes. Since then, the people in his neighbourhood do not bother much about him. He was ostracised by everyone who knew what had happened that morning. They avoided him and although he lived in a luxurious house, none treated him with respect. And whenever they meet anyone who knows not what had happened, they would gladly recount how he lost his temper and shouted such such harsh words at the lovely innocent children.

The poor man may not realise what he has lost that morning but it was to last him a lifetime. More than five years later, I happened to be one of their latest friends to whom the above incident was told. So, to be able to control one's temper is important.

What role religion??

Buddhists believe in karma. So, to differentiate between a good Buddhist and one who is not, we look at the person's deeds. But then, maybe the person does not care about what the present future or the next life may bring.

Other religions also have beliefs and teachings for their followers. The teachings, if you should examine them, are definitely the best possible ones by which life on earth can be wonderfully peaceful and happy.

Then, again, it is evidently tough to be good at any religion. People throughout the world belong to either this religion or that religion except for the few rebellious ones like me who believe in God but refuses to join any. Fortunately or unfortunately (my ego at play), God did not create many like me. But then, with so many religious people in the world we would have thought the world a lovely, peaceful place to fulfill whatever earthly mission we come for.

Sad to say, the world today is filled with turmoil. Television bring all the power struggles and hatred among humans to our living-rooms at certain times throughout the day as if to remind us that something has to be done or else, as some have prophesied, the world may come to an end soon. Indeed, it looks like it, for at this rate, if natural disaster do not wipe us out, we ourselves may do the job, what with the numerous atomic weapons so many countries are developing. And playing with this kind of fire, it is just a matter of time before somebody's madness would get us all burnt to cinders.

So, what is the role of religion in our present situation where comparatively few, if any, truly believes in God even though they conveniently belong to one. Apparently, belief in God and religion is being abused by many. Religion has become a social and political tool. Some people belong to a religion so as to be accepted by certain groups of people, to have a place to congregate, a place to show others how devoted they are to a certain God, and so how morally good they must be. Political leaders would appeal to people of the same religion to unite with them so as to fight for the betterment of that particular religion. (As though Almighty God needs help from such mortals!)Thus, the name of God is being abused. Throughout the world, we have labeled nations as Buddhist countries, Christian countries and Muslim countries and in that way create a demand that only that particular religion be given special preference. (Did God ever demand special preference? No, because God is forever Almighty even if there is just one follower. Even if I am God's only believer, He still IS God. He is not more or less God because of His followers' numbers or deeds.)

As humans develop in intelligence, his ego has grown just as much. Some religions have even created new rules and regulations and caused them to be accepted by their followers. Some rules are created to force followers to stick to a particular religion even when the follower has lost faith in it. Actually, Man has the right to believe and choose his own religion. This is important as a person forced to accept a religion may never find belief in it. However, as a member of a society, to make life easier for himself, he may put on the pretense of acceptance. The crux of the matter is, is it from his heart? But then, ego of the authorities concerned are not happy to see others not in the same religion as theirs, feel slighted that their members would leave for another religion and other religions believed inferior to theirs. (Has God ever taught us those things? No, God is beyond and above all those small-minded matters. All these come through the ego of the leaders of religions.)

Today, humans abuse the name of God often in their struggle for power between countries and ethnic groups. And even among themselves, resulting in denominations and their different versions of God's message. The Christians have the Protestants, the Baptists, the Catholics and more while the Muslims have their Sunni, Matahari and others; and when it comes to the Buddhists, there are the many branches of thoughts. (well, I have to leave out others as there would be too many.)

Someone wants to be a leader and to do that even among one religion, there has to be denominations. With more denominations, there can be more leaders. Then, in a country, or among more than one country, there may be more than one religion. To have greater power than other leaders belonging to other religions, conflicts have to caused and fights lead to some kind of submission to the greater religion? and leader. All this leadership and power struggle is happening in the Middle East and many nations.

Perhaps it is time for a new prophet to straighten the minds and cool the ego of humans. To hope for such a solution is easy and according to 'The Secret' fervent hopes do materialise but it needs to be soon as people are beginning to become numbed to even the horrendous happenings brought to us by television.

Disastrously, the role of religion has changed somewhat. There was a time when religious people were respected for their good morals, their sacrifices and services in the name of God and their friendliness to all, regardless of religion with the belief that God created all humans. Today, there is no respect for God's creation even when it is in a similar form.

Ego sometimes blind us to possiblities.

I received an email in which the following story was written or taken from somewhere. As it is obviously something we should share, I take the opportunity to put it into my blog so that whoever comes in could enjoy and benefit from it as I have.

It is indeed a touching story. True or not, I do not know but let's just learn something from it.

As for the title, perhaps we could have: Never judge a book by its cover.

A lady in a faded grey dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun suit walked in timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Harvard.

"We want to see the President "the man said softly.
"He'll be busy all day "the secretary snapped.
"We'll wait" the lady replied.
For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president.
"Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave" she said to him.
The President, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple.
The lady told him "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on "campus."
The president wasn't touched....He was shocked. "Madam" he said, gruffly,
“We can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died.
If we did, this place would look like a cemetery."
"Oh, no" the lady explained quickly "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."
The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, and then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard."
For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don't we just start our own?"
Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the University that bears their name. Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

Most of the time we judge people by their outer appearance, which can be misleading. And in this impression, we tend to treat people badly by thinking they can do nothing for us. Thus we tend to lose our potential good friends, employees or customers.
Remember
In our Life, we seldom get people with whom we want to share & grow our thought process. But because of our inner EGO we miss them forever.

It is you who have to decide with whom you are getting associated in day to day life.
a concluding note:

Small Minds talk about People;

Average Minds talk about things,

Fine Minds discuss ideas;

Great Minds Act in Silence!

A contrast to those wonderful people I wrote about yesterday.

Yesterday, I wrote about people whom I know to be some of the most wonderful people in the world, with not just plenty of love for their fellow humans but also for the animals. I also questioned how many would stop to help someone whom they do not know.

Well, today I read in the Star online that a hungry man waiting for his meal to break his fast during this holy month became angry with the waiter. upon being told that he would have to wait his turn as meals are delivered according to the placing of the order with the earlier orders delivered first before coming to the later orders, he lost his temper and beat up the poor waiter who was merely doing his job. Only the other waiters came to help to pacify the man while the others refused to be involved, allowing the poor waiter to be beaten up for about ten minutes when the other waiters had to run away when the man started to use the chairs to hit them.

According to the Star newspaper, a witness said, "The co-workers ran away, after which the man beat the victim for over 10 minutes before leaving. The other diners did not intervene." See! None of the others bothered to lift a finger to help the poor waiter. Here was a human in trouble; what if it had been just a little animal!

So, I was not exaggerating when I wrote that it takes goodness and greatness and all those beautiful humane qualities to be as God would have us be; to be sympathetic, compassionate and loving. Some people just do not have those qualities.

Knowledge comes with listening.

As I have written some time ago,I had the problem of inferiority complex very early in life. I knew it was a problem. Realisation helped me to find ways and means to overcome it. In a way I am thankful that it was once my problem for without it I could never be the strong and healthy individual I grow up to be. I would never have gone further to learn more about life than I have. I would never have listened for the gems of knowledge which has helped me to progress to this stage of my life if I had not been born with health problems and an inferiority complex. I faced my problems and won.

One of the things I discovered in searching for knowledge is the need for listening. When I listened I get to learn other people's knowledge and experiences. It is similar to knowledge from books. When we read, we also listen to what the writer has to say. You will be surprised at how much a person is willing to tell you if he believes you are really interested. I have learned so many things through listening.

Through listening, we not only learn we become more popular as many people have stories to tell and therefore need ears to listen to them. The are thankful to have appreciative listeners. So when people need to express their needs and sorrows, they need good listeners.

However, the most important part about the art of listening is the acquiring of knowledge and better understanding of more complicated subjects. Just as the other day when a friend and I were at the summit of Gunung Jerai, I was all ears when a man came to talk to me as I pulled and flicked off the numerous leeches in my socks and shoes. If I had not listened, I would not have been able to have him explain and talk about how leeches could be removed and killed so easily. Had I not listened intently, he would most probably not have revealed how I could prevent leeches from coming near in future. And this morning, through listening, I heard about the soaking of socks in salt solution to prevent leeches from attacking. But then, with the salt solution, you would have to wear wet socks.

The importance of listening was also confirmed by an insurance salesman who went with me during my twenties to a seminar by Mr. Lawrence Chan. He was disappointed with some participants at the seminar who are more eager to voice their own experiences than to listen to Lawrence Chan's gems. He said that we paid to listen to the nuggets of experience and knowledge, not to listen to ourselves talk. Every minute we waste on talking cost us possibly a minute of precious advice or understanding. So if we talk away an hour each day of the five day seminar, we lost five hours of nuggets. Now, there is a lot of truth in that.

See, at the age of sixty-four I am still learning by listening. I hope my mind will remain sharp enough to digest all the knowledge I am able to obtain for many more years through books and listening.

Humans create most of the problems.

At one point in my life, if anyone were to say that humans are the ones who create the most trouble, I would have protested. But then, with more experience of life, I have to admit that there is truth in it.

There was a time, I studied part of spiritual exorcism through an Indian priest. It first started with meditation, then awakening of the third eye and then exorcism. Through my experiences and this guru's teaching about the spirit world, I had to admit that spirits do not harm people. It is evil people who use those spirits to harm others, just as religion is for the good of man kind but people use or abuse religion for their own selfish ends.

When I realised how evil most of these spiritual masters are I decided not to continue with the study. I did not wish to one day have to tangle with such type of people even though it is to untangle whatever mischief they have done.

And today, I read about a married couple who abused their Indonesian maid so badly that the poor maid died. How the poor lady must have suffered before she found relief in death. What kind of horrible monsters those people were! Someone commented that they were worst than animals. Please, the next time we talk of such human monsters, do not drag the good name of animals into the thought. Animals are never that bad. Animals kill only because they felt threatened or they needed food for survival. They never kill to exert power over others. Humans are the ones who crave for power and perform the world's most horrendous deeds to gain it.

Perhaps that is the reason God gave humans brains so that, hopefully, with such brains they could teach morals and understand that God is always watching whatever is being done. That is also the reason humans, more than any other creature on earth, need God. If not for the presence of God and the teaching of morals, the conscience would be blunted and easily turn humans to monsters such as the above mentioned couple and those known in history.

This weakness of humans to create problems exists to this very day among the ordinary people as well as people in authority and politics. It exists as long as there is inferiority complex and the need to feel power over others is present.
It is a human tragedy that such a creation which possess brains and the ability to think so well can descend so low, indicating an inability to use their brains correctly. And so, with this weakness, there will always be conflicts, cruelty and exploitation of others, even though the holy book of every religion tells us that all living things are His creations and therefore are to be respected if it is just to show respect and love for Him.

Is this the beginning of extremism?

Today, I am copying an article from the Malaysian Insider to show that politics is leading the country towards extremism. Political leaders have been encouraging and instigating Muslim leaders to think of non-Muslims as aliens rather than as citizens who ought to have equal rights with Muslim citizens. What several Muslim leaders say in the following article shows how these leaders have twisted facts to support their extremist views.

Regarding the civil rights of non-Muslim Malaysians I have lifted the comments of a British Muslim, a Jennifer Abdullah, from the comments column in the Malaysian Insider. Her enlightening comment is pasted below the article.

I have copied this article together with a comment by this British Muslim from Hong Kong to show that that what we think is read throughout the world and how well our country and people are judged depends on what we say or do as all would reach the minds of people internationally.

Islamic leaders question non-Muslim rights
UPDATED @ 09:05:18 AM 23-05-2011
By Asrul Hadi Abdullah Sani
May 22, 2011


KUALA LUMPUR, May 22 – Several Islamic leaders have questioned the loyalty of non-Muslims in the country, declaring today the community’s rights must be re-evaluated if Malaysia is to call itself an Islamic state.
Former president of Islamic Da’wah Foundation Malaysia (Yadim), Datuk Nakhaie Ahmad, said treatment of non-Muslims must be based on the social contract agreed and pointed out that the government has been too gracious to the community.
“In attempts to get vote and support of non-Muslims, we have been very gracious in giving them their civil rights. Civil rights given to them includes the rights to vote, participation in politics, hold office, involvement in the military and so forth but we cannot just willingly give them everything.
“Our offer must be based on religious practices. If we look at the prophet’s agreement in the Madinah constitution, civil rights were given to the Jews but the rights must be paid back with responsibility. They must have the responsibility and agree to defend our country and not insult the agreement,” he said during a forum on "Membina Negara Sejahtera" organised by the Persatuan Ulama Malaysia here.
Former prime minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad declared Malaysia an Islamic state a decade ago in a move to counter PAS’ growing influence among the country’s key Malay Muslim population.
The issue cropped up this month when several groups asked for amendments to the Federal Constitution to stipulate only Muslims can be the prime minister after Utusan Malaysia carried an unsubstantiated report of a Christian plot to usurp Islam’s position as religion of the federation.
Nakhaie stressed that non-Muslims that have broken the social contract must be expelled from the country and asked the government to adopt a tough approach in safeguarding Muslim interest.
“If the agreement is broken then actions must be taken against them. If they break our agreement then they are our enemy and must be expelled from the country. We must not compromise with them. We must be stern with them when it comes to the social contract agreed,” he said.
Nakhaie added it is important that high level government positions not be awarded to non-Muslims for national security.
“We cannot give them important government position as it is not allowed for non-Muslims to become ministers in an Islamic state. Head of military must also not be given to non-Muslims.
“Without thinking about the future of our country, we are so willing to give them everything. Granting them their civil rights must be balanced with Islamic preaching so they will understand justice in Islam and the Islamic system,” said the former PAS member who defected to Umno years ago.
He also warned Muslims to unite as non-Muslims will become stronger if the community continues to quarrel among themselves.
“They are brave now and are willing to say anything because they are becoming dominant. They (non-muslim political parties) are only working with us to only achieve their goals. It is a marriage of convenience. We know what is their programme. We are already losing economically and now we want to give political rights?” he asked.
Ikatan Muslimin Malaysia’s (ISMA) deputy president Zamri Hashim added that Muslims must look beyond political affiliation for a common greater cause.
“We must think outside of politics. The Malay agenda is too important to ignore and a majority of Malays are Muslims. This is no longer about PAS and Umno,” said the Perak deputy Mufti.
Malaysian Islamic Youth Movement (Abim) deputy president, Dr Mohd Rumaizuddin Ghazali, also stressed that Malaysia must never become a secular state.
“This is why many non-Muslim politicians want to declare the country as a secular state because then the government will not have fund religious programmes.
“They are scared that if we accept Malaysia as an Islamic state then there are many implications which means that only Muslims have the right to lead the country,” he said.
Mohd Rumaizuddin added that the Malays are beginning to be trampled on and non-Muslims are starting to take advantage of the community.
“Because of politics, we are still not free after more than 50 years of independence,” he said.
Hizbut Tahrir Malaysia president Abdul Hakim Othman added the country’s constitution must be replaced as it has been stained by the colonial British.
“A Caliphate state is based on divine revelation. It is not a democratic or a theocratic state. It is only an Islamic state when the constitution is based on the Quran and prophetic traditions,” he said.

Below is the comment by a Miss Jennifer Abdullah who is a British Muslim. The following is a quote taken from the article and her comment.

"In attempts to get vote and support of non-Muslims, we have been very gracious in giving them their civil rights."

I'm not Malaysian but I am a British Muslim and I'm reading this from Hong Kong. I find it offensive that Malaysian Muslims could even threaten to retract civil rights from non-muslims arbitrarily when the civil rights of every individual in the Commonwealth has been protected since the days of the Magna Carta

I'm sorry but a Malaysian friend of mine pass this to me and I cannot help but comment after reading this. I'm very disappointed, as a Muslim myself, to see the Muslims in your country going the way of extremism. I hope the Malaysian ppl understand that true Islam does not condone intolerance and are fully compatible with democracy and human rights.

Respect ought to be given to the right people.

If you have a great job, an Asian-Pacific region director or something like that in an international company, would you resign from it to take up a much lower paid job in another international company just because in the new job you need no longer have to travel from one city to another and it is situated in the small little town where your old sick mother can be looked after each day after working hours?

I know that not many people would sacrifice that much for a sick old mother. However, I know of at least one young person who did just that and that person is a friend of mine. I am indeed glad to have such a wonderful person as a friend. She is great! No doubt about that! And I have great respect for her.

Now, when I was young, I was taught to respect the elders, the wealthy and the VIPs. Unfortunately, as I grew, I met all of them and after experiencing the truth about some of those people, the respectability ballons burst one after another.

First, I discovered that not all older people ought to be respected. Some just do not deserve any respect. Of course, we ought to respect older people when we first get to know them. After all, with their longer lifespan and more experiences they ought to be better than all of us younger ones. However, respect given ought to be maintained and valued. Actions should indicate the wisdom and righteousness of the persons.

Have I ever told you about the old lady who would meditate with her beads day in and day out, giving such a pious outer appearance? Well, there was this lady I happened to pass on my way out of the house. It was in Penang in which a good many houses in those days house about ten families in one house. The poor could only afford a room in one of those stately houses and there were approximately ten rooms in one such house.

Well, back to that pious lady with her meditating beads. At that moment another person came into the scene and walked past her. As the other person disappeared from view, she opened her mouth and shocked my little soul. She cursed the man who had just gone in. In my innocence I had always presumed that pious people would walk with God and have not the bitterness to curse anybody. Was I awakened to the truth that such a thing could happen. That very day I reshuffled my views of meditating pious old people. I hastened to add, least I am misunderstood, that there are some good pious people in this world. After all, if you have read enough of what I have written, you would have realised that my own uncle who dedicated his life to serve the elephant deity in order to cure the sick, was one old pious man I truly respected.

And from what I have written today, you can see that it is not just some old people but also those younger than me whom I have great respect. So, respect has nothing to do with age. It is the person, what he stands for and how to goes about acting on his own beliefs. (At this point I remember the amusement of someone's face as she received advice from a young doctor. That will be another story.)

In times of trouble, you know who your true friends are.

"You know what happened yesterday, Ai Wei?" she approached me at the bottom of the hill this morning.
"What's that?" Curiously,I waited for her to tell me more.
"Yesterday, I came down from the hill later than you. As I reversed my car slowly out onto the road from the patch of grass I had parked it, a little boy rode his motorcycle right towards my car, hitting one of the tyres. The part through which we pump air in was damaged and air from within whooshed out. There I was with a flat tyre!"
"Oh! How unfortunate!" I exclaimed. "So what did you do?"

Ignoring my question, she went on to tell about the young little boy who was still trying to balance himself on his motorcycle when she came out of her car. The boy was so little, his feet could hardly touch the ground! He was apologising, "Sorry, aunty! Sorry, aunty!" and asking for help at the same time with "Please help me. Please help."

Although she was annoyed at the damaged caused she was also amused that this little fellow was asking for her help to get off the bike. She helped him off his bike and pushed it to one side. As the damage was negligible, although it would be troublesome, she allowed him to start the bike again and sat astride it while it wobbled as though it could drop to one side at any moment. Then, the little boy rode away, leaving this poor friend the problem of going to her workplace.

First, one man she has known for some time came along. He stopped, looked at her tyre when she told him what had happened and then went on to his car to disappear from the scene.

Next came another guy she has been friendly with for some time. Upon hearing her story, he became angry with the no longer present little boy and his parents for allowing the child to ride around so dangerously. He told her she should have caught hold of the boy and if there was no compensation forth-coming, take the boy to the police-station. After the ranting, he also disappeared from the scene without asking the lady how she was to get a lift or help to repair the tyre.

Then there was this man she had always held in great respect. She had always told me about this man's great wealth, his abilities and his goodness. The man did not even come near, just a glance he cast in her direction and was quiet upon being told her problem. He too disappeared from the scene without extending any help.

From what has been written, perhaps someone reading this could have come to the wrong conclusion that this lady was not too friendly with people. That is definitely not the case. I have often seen how she has always been friendly and good towards them.

Well, it is a case where one gets to really know who your true friends are in times of trouble. They certainly knew she needed transport, if not to her place of work, at least to her home or a tyre shop where repairs could be acquired. This is where we can see who are the ones who are genuinely concerned.

No need to be apologetic. Time is ours to spend happily..

Yesterday evening, to prepare myself for a hike up a hill in Yan, Kedah, I bought some bread from one of the sundry shops in my area. Upon seeing me, the man told me,"Today, there's hardly anything to do. I watched television for a while and did some gardening. Time drags. It was still early afternoon with so much time on my hands." And he, a Chinese on Chinese New Year day, had nothing to do. So, he came to his shop, opened it and stood behind his counter to wait for someone to come so that he could occupy his time serving somebody and talking to someone. His tone of voice was apologetic. He realised he ought to be somewhere enjoying his Chinese New Year.

Actually, there was no necessity to feel bad about doing business or working on a holiday. After all, time is ours to spend as we wish. If we are happy doing it, who is to say it ought not to be done. But then if it is no joy to work at a business and yet have to do it just to kill time, then there is obviously something very wrong somewhere.

That is the reason we should cultivate some kind of hobby and have friends. Thinking about hobbies, I have so many that I could never find the time to enjoy all of them. And when it comes to friends, when one is friendly, there is no worry about having nobody to do things with. Everything about hobbies and friendship is as simple as that.

All of us have an inclination towards something. The more active people are usually interested in some kind of activities, be they indoor or outdoor. The quieter type has a lot of of things they can be involved in too. You can have a game of chess, participation in a discussion group or a sharing group.Perhaps reading or searching the internet is your kind of fun. Whatever it is, do find some kind of interest or hobby for it will come in useful some time.

And some of these activities lead to friendship for people of the same interest flock together to enjoy their likes. And such friends usually meet very often to quench their desire to participate and exchange knowledge in the same activity. So, in some hobbies, knowledge, friends and activities go together.

From what has been written it is without a doubt that humans need activities to live a satisfactory way, to find happiness in being alive. What is the use of being alive if time drags by and leave us uncertain of what to do with it?

Opportunities to learn is always around. And I learned kimchi making.

Thank God I have so many wonderful friends. Friends are the people who make our lives beautiful and interesting. As someone who is always eager to learn new things, was I overjoyed to know that this lady friend was not only beautiful but also one who knows so much. We were shopping for new year things when we discussed the topic of food and she mentioned that she knew how to make kimchi, a Korean food that I had wanted to make for myself for some time but did not because I knew not the exact way it could be done. Kimchi is one of those healthy food that requires no cooking.

And she was so eager to help me make it. So, on one of her holidays from work, we went to a supermarket nearby to buy the ingredients. We searched for two fairly large Chinese cabbages, small onions, garlic, fish sauce, chilli powder, and sweet flour. We found all those ingredients but no sweet flour. She told me it could be replaced with corn flour and a little sugar. According to her, it could even be left out. So, I voted to do without the flour.

Upon reaching my home, she helped me to cut the cabbage lengthwise into into four parts. Then she applied salt in between each leaf of the cabbage. It was left aside for some time; after which the salted cabbage was washed and wrung as dry as possible.

In the meantime, as the cabbage was being salted, the onions were pealed. As for the garlic, they were smashed with the side of the knife and skinned. Having done that, we could blend the onions and the galic together with the chilli. However, I could not find my dry blender and so had to resort to the wet blender which meant that water had to be added. Due to that we had no alternative but to cook the blended ingredients on a slow fire. However, once it reached boiling point, we removed the ingredients from the fire. Then we added in some salt and sugar as well as the fish sauce.

Next, it was applying the blended ingredients to the wrung cabbage, again leaf by leaf so that every part of the cabbage was seasoned with the ingredients. The seasoned cabbage was then put into a glass container and left overnight during which time there is some fermentation. The next morning, the container with the kimchi was put into the refrigerator for two days before it was taken out to be consumed.

The kimchi was delicious, not too spicy and just sweet and saltish enough to please my palate. So, through this friend I have learned how to make delicious kimchi.

Of course, just as some people do not fancy yogurt, there are also those who do not go for kimchi as I soon found out. I offered my sister-in-law some but she immediately refused. She had tasted it once and it was no in favour of the taste. I tried to persuade her to try it as it is done by one beautiful friend who certainly knows how to make good kimchi. Once beaten, twice shy; once dislike, never deny. Well, accept it, it takes all types to make a world.

Money, money, money.

Today I read of an accident in which RM75,000 worth of coins from a steel container in a car spilled onto the North-South Highway. According to the papers, this happened on Tuesday, the 18th of January.

The highway has always been one of the most dangerous place for any person outside his vehicle unless proper signs and barricades have been put up to slow down vehicles speeding along this busy road.

Yet, when the people traveling along this busy highway saw the coins roll across the highway in all directions, every caution was thrown to the wind as they stopped their own vehicles, got down from them and rushed around to collect as many as they could all those coins. That, despite the owner of the coins telling them to stop collecting his coins.

Any of those people could have been killed by one of the many vehicles traveling along that same route. No, they cared not for their own safety or their lives. After all, what is the use of a life without the opportunity to gather some of the thousands of coins being strewn on the road.

Yet, none of them were killed. It goes to show how actually careful and attentive our drivers truly are. Or was it the numerous coins that got them all to stop so that they could also take part in the collection of free coins on the highway?

And when it came to money, all those coin collectors were fast to gather up as many coins as they could into whatever containers they could use. They used almost anything to hold those coins. And, the excitement could have lasted a long time, had they not been interrupted by the arrival of the police.

And here is one good reason for wearing a helmet. The motorist found good use for them as they certainly were big enough to hold a few hundred coins. They must have thanked their lucky stars to have such a useful container for the collection of hundreds of coins each.

It is in such circumstances that we see how reckless people are. It is at such times that we understand the lure of money.

As for me, the opportunity is unavailable and therefore I turn my thoughts to the possible reasons for transporting so many coins in a vehicle. According to the owner, it was to be distributed to stores in Malacca. Nevertheless, in our modern times when the nearest bank which can supply the coins is just a few kilometres away from most places in town, where is the need to transport coins from one state to another? I find this most strange. But then, as someone once wrote, truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.

The best in any level of society anywhere.

We find the best and the worst in any level of society. Through knowledge of happenings in our world, I have no alternative but to come to such a conclusion.

Just a month ago, I read in the news about this homeless man, a Mr. Dave Talley, who found a backpack. In the backpack were three thousand, three hundred American dollars in cash. Well, a man without money to even secure a small home somewhere must be really poor. Right or wrong, he could have easily persuaded himself to believe it was God's way to help him out of his predicament. He could have slipped the money into his pocket and walked away from the backpack. All that he did not do.

He did not steal it, an act I know some people would stoop to perform, given half the chance. Among the poor, there are thieves and among the rich and powerful, there are those in authority who become even richer through corruption which in my mind is also a kind of thieving, robbing someone in a persuasive way, using the authority they hold just as a common thief would a knife.

No, he did not touch a cent of that money. He returned the full sum as well as the backpack to the owner. Mr. Talley must have known the address from information he found in that backpack. That is what made me say a prayer for that man. He overwhelmed me with the beauty of his deed. Whatever his religion is, he is certainly more god-like than many.

To me, he is the walking example of honesty and greatness. No matter where he is, I wish him my very best. Perhaps, in his present position, he is able to perform his mission well, perhaps indicating to all that you do not need to have anything to be generous, that greatness lies not in the external form but in the inner self of a being.

Understanding people.

"That couple talks too much," she complained to me.
"What happened?"
"Well, the lady, for example, would talk at such speed that I did not have the chance to put in any comment. She goes on and on and it is so fast there just was no way i could say anything," her annoyed voice clearly told me her unhappiness.
"I thought all of you like each other as only the three of you seem to be able to hit it off," I gave her my observation.
"The other day, she was telling me about their son in Japan again. I wanted to tell her I have heard about that son many times already but she just went on talking so fast as if knowing that I was going to tell her that," She looked unhappy alright.
"I know. Perhaps they have only one son and must be hell of a proud about the son'e achievement. And since yours are the only ears willing to listen, she had to unload everything onto you," I tried to pacify her.
"Hummp! And that husband of hers! You know what happened? The other day, he told me relatives took them to an expensive restaurant and spent RM400 for just a meal for the four of them. And he was so upset about the extravagance! I told him it was alright as it was just once in a long while. At that, his voice was raised and condemnation was written all over his face as he told me never to say 'once in a while'. I was really flabbergasted at his tone of voice, as if he were lecturing his son or daughter. I really never expected that. Oh, my god! He always talks as if only he knows what is right!" and her voice rose a little higher at this point.

I did not want to encourage her to talk more about the couple as she was obviously too heated up at the thought of them and what they had said. Quietly, I told her that it is possible the couple was not fortunate enough to have the matured balance she has and it could be due to a number of factors. The factors could be poverty at childhood stage or when compared with other relatives their parents financial level could be the lowest and these could bring about some kind of inferiority complex. So they have to put on a kind of attitude towards money and success as a shield. It is a complex thing and we ought to be happy that we are not in that kind of situation where we have to put up a superiority complex to counter it. Sad is the situation of such people if they cannot find a way to remove the complex. "And that is why," I explained to her, "The couple, especially the man, always has to win in any argument or discussion. They have to put themselves into a one-track mind to prevent hurt to their fragile ego."

Such people ought to be helped rather than disliked. Of course, during their lifetime, some friend could have to get them to see and understand their problem. Unfortunately, such people are not easily helped unless they themselves can see their own problem and are willing to overcome it. In fact, they are in great need of a psychologist. Even now, they must have not realised that people avoid them because of their 'My way is the best. My method is the only one. No one can be more correct than me' attitude.

Since such people cannot be helped, we should not aggravate the situation but just have a cordial relationship with them, for without clashes there can be no sparks to heat up the atmosphere.

To be a better man/woman.

Folks, here is a story from an email which will bring tears to your eyes as it did mine for it is charged with such beautiful human emotions. Let us learn from the father and the members of both teams and understand that when opportunities arise for us to show our true human nature, we ought to respond accordingly as required by our instincts.

Well, you will definitely get more from the story than any number of words that I write. So, read on.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Two Choices
What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one.. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fund-raising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.
Where is the natural order of things in my son?'
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!
Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

May your day, be a Shay Day.

The truth as seen by a visitor.

Having been caught by the rain during the last few evenings and yet not having to suffer the consequences, I was intending to write on immunity this day. However, this letter from a tourist which appeared in the Star newspaper takes me to something more pressing in my country, Malaysia. Let us look at a part of what this tourist has written.

"But what’s most outstanding were the people. No matter of which race and religion, all of them share the same traits: open and extremely friendly.

They are very polite and always helpful. They seemed to get along well with each other in their social lives and working relationships. I did not see any unpleasant incident, unlike in so many other places where social segregation and disturbances are clearly visible.

Despite their differences, the people here appeared to me as genuine Malaysians. Happy is the country where people can live in harmony and understanding with their neighbours and not bother about colour, religion or ethnicity."

There is so much truth in what this tourist has written. I agree whole-heartedly with his impressions of Malaysians from all walks of life. Malaysians as a whole get along very well with each other no matter their differences in race, culture or religion. We respect each others' belief and practices. We never think of our friends as immigrants from another land for none of us are; we are born in this land and this is our country.

Unfortunately, we have powerful, influential political leaders who abuse their positions to ram into our minds every so often that some are more supreme than others, that they are the guardians of one particular community despite their standing as national leaders, that the minority people are less deserving of being equal in every way to the majority and these minority are still considered 'immigrants'.

Lately, there was the government creating a foundation for just one race with the so called noble idea of helping the poor having a share of properties in the country which according to them would otherwise be in the hands of the elite. Which elite? If it is to help the poor, every community has its poor. Such a foundation to help the poor ought to be for all poor Malaysians and not just for one community. Who actually benefits from such a foundation? It is the rich in that community who will become even richer. How much can the poor, especially those who live from hand to mouth benefit from such a foundation? With this crooked thinking (How true is knowledge I gained from the book 'Straight and Crooked Thinking'.)politicians find ways to gain at the expense of the really poor whose name they abuse. Can it be a 1Malaysia when projects usually divide the people?

Well, I am sorry but most Malaysian politicians I detest.

For the love of her mom.

I have heard about this lady quitting her last job in a big international company to take on a smaller post in a comparatively smaller company from some of her friends. I have often wondered what had happened to cause her to take such a move.

Today I was fortunate to have the beautiful lady come to my house. After talking on some health topics, I found out that she was working today, a Sunday in Malaysia. Here, when it comes to a lot of offices, they are closed on Sundays. So, her having to be in the office on a holiday got me wondering about the need to attend to office work when everyone else is resting.

She explained about her duty as the head of a department to ensure all the work would be completed and only a small percentage of it allowed to be carried forward to the next day. The amount of work could not be cleared recently due to someone being sick for the last few weeks. Listening to her talk about her duty I felt she really had a heart of gold.

Since we were talking about her work I took the opportunity to enquire about her previous post in that bid international company with its main office in the United States. She told me it was because of her mom who was getting more and more serious with her high blood pressure.

It was at that stage that the company wanted her to be the director of operations in the East Pacific Area and to move to station herself in the Hong Kong area. That being the case, she wondered how getting her mom to the new place would affect her health. Without her, the mother had no one to look after her. Her post was high and the pay was big. So, she had to choose between her successful career and her mother.

What would you choose? Well, where she was concerned, her mother came first. She left her big pay-check and returned to Kedah to care for her mom and found another job with a small company and, of course, a much smaller pay. What a great sacrifice she had made! She is one great lady!

However, she is happy with the smaller pay as the lifestyle is different. Her present way of living does not require so much money. She is happy to be with the mother whose blood pressure has gone down to normal again. And she is just as happy to be with her friends, friends like me, you see.

But then, according

Some people have a one-track mind.

They were always meeting each morning for their daily walks. They would exchange greetings and talked about a good number of things. As they got to know each other better, Ho was more confident about discussing more than general topics.

"Ismail, how can that politician say that non-Malays are not patriotic. Yes, there are very few non-Malays in the army but that does not mean the Chinese, the Indian and the others are not patriotic. Some of these UMNO politicians are too much," he commented to his friend, believing that his friend would sympathise with him and his community for being branded not patriotic.

"What do you know about that? Of course, if they are not willing to join the army, then they must be not patriotic. That was an UMNO politician you were criticising. He must have known the reason to make such a comment," Ismail shouted.

Our friend, Ho, got a shock at the rebuke he got when he was expecting some sympathetic views. And even if the guy did not agree with his statement, as a friend, he ought to try find out what and how Ho felt before explaining how that politician could have come to such a conclusion.

So, when he told Din and me about the incident, we told him that some people are like that. They do not wish to hear anything different from their own views, even when those views are coming from a friend. Or maybe Ho is still not considered a friend, merely one of those acquaintances of his whose thoughts and friendship are not worth considering.

At this point, I remember a Malay friend from Kota Kuala Muda who was sympathetic to the cause of poor non-Malays. You see, at one time I was poor. I used to ride a motorcycle to school. So when I got married and, after a number of years, was still without a child, this friend thought I dared not bring a child into this world yet because unlike a Malay child, it would be difficult to get scholarships and places in the public university. Unlike Ho's friend, this friend was close and we used to discussed many topics some others might find too sensitive. I remembered his very words: Don't worry, Ai Wei. By the time your children are big enough for school, things would change and your children would have just as much chance as any Malay children for educational progress. Though his words have not come true, it was his sincerity that touched me to such an extent that I will always remember there was such a Malay friend. May God bless him always. It is his influence and those of others like him that I find myself capable of mixing well with the Malays.

However, I am aware too that there are people who think differently; who thinks the world is for them and them alone. Some of them are racial in their thinking. Some of them think that they are the best, the only ones with God, the only ones entitled to this land and nothing can ever changed their ideas. As I understand that it is better to go round the wall instead of trying to climb over it or bang at it, that is what I always do. It saves us from a lot of frustration or anger and hurt. I just do not give them a chance to take away my happiness. If we think we can help them, then we try. However, if I think they have built a solid wall between them and me, I just go around them. They are happy and I am happy too.

We just tell ourselves; it takes all types to make a world. We do our best and let God do the rest.

Give opinions only when appreciated.

The other evening I attended one of the Rukun-Tetangga (an association for fostering the unity of a housing community) meetings and was shocked to see the place already broken into, some of the cushions and cloth thrown outside, window-panes cracked and broken, some food not belonging to the community center lying around and in another part of the building, feces left on plates.

On a table was the sign of candle wax. Initially, we thought the intruders had used candles as it must be dark at night. But then, there was electricity and the lamps did work. So, we suspected the intrusion to be the work of drug addicts.

However, the community centre was not under our care. We merely borrowed the premises for our meetings. We informed the person in charge of the place. He came and investigated, noting the damage done to the place. I suggested that we ought to bring it to the attention of the police but there was apparently no interest in doing so. The person just destroyed the food of those intruders and repaired the lock.

Well, since the care-taker was in charge, I did nopt pursue the matter. But I thought it a bad idea to just lock those undesirable elements out and destroy their food. Certainly, those people would be back in the night and what would anyone think those people would do. Well, they had broken the lock once. What is there to prevent a second break-in? The locks were obviously of no match to those people. Furthermore, there were lots of windows for them to break and climb into the place.

And when they discover their food thrown away, they would be on a rampage to vent their anger.Who would be there to stop them if the police was not to be notified. There is certain to be further destruction.

But then, experience has taught me that some people do not wish to listen to others. Well, they have a mind of their own which in certain circumstances would be excellent. And if we hit against a wall more than once the damage to self might be too great. We only get to hurt ourselves, nothing more can be achieved. We just have to let others do things their way unless it really does affect our lives. Sometimes, we just have to shut our busybody mind and close our mouth.

Discriminatory legislation, laws and practices can never be accepted among citizens

India's Prime Minister did not wish to be involved in the Malaysian government's discrimination of Malaysian Indians. He did not question the government about this issue. He was right not to do so as that would mean interfering in the internal affairs of another country.

However, the Malaysian government should not, based on India's Prime Minister's refusal to question such a matter, consider the matter too trivial to look into. The fact that citizens feel they have been sufficiently discriminated in their own country to approach outside forces for assistance indicates that something is seriously troubling them.

A country can only be considered well-developed and ready for greater progress only when all its people are united and are fully supportive of the government. When we talk of a country's people, wise politicians ought to know the said country's people consists of every group, be they from different religions, cultures or races. And this can only happen if government politicians are matured enough to accept the fact that they are elected to look after the welfare of all citizens and to have them treated equally regardless of whether they belong to the same race or religion as the political leaders.

In Malaysia, there is this much disputed 'social contract' which government leaders claim had been agreed to by the founding leaders that a particular race must be treated more special than the other races. According to one of the ex-Prime Minister, the disputed 'social contract' is not a signed document. It is laughable that such a serious matter was never documented and signed, if what had been said was true. In the meantime the online media, Malaysia Today, is publishing the documents it claims to be the Malaysian Constitution to show that nowhere can there be found such a social contract. So the question arises: Is there such a contract? If there is none, why has the citizens been told of such a non existing contract, especially when it is such a contract which will never have all the citizens treated
equally?

Even if such a 'social contract' does exist and we understand that it divides the people into two groups which had to be treated differently; should not the government do the right thing by doing away such a social contract. Look! The country certainly stands to be forever not truly united if such a contract does exist. Certainly those treated as 'step-children' of the country will feel the discrimination as they become more intelligent and understand the unfairness and injustice heaped upon them especially when there is no Godmother to come to their rescue. (Read Cinderella and understand what the author teaches about discrimination in a family.) Thus there can never be true unity as these people would have this so called 'social contract' hanging constantly like a dark ominous cloud over their heads.

Without fair treatment to all citizens, there can be no loyalty. How can any government expect people whom they treat as 'step-children' to be loyal to it, when equal help and opportunities were never given to them? They pray for the day a better government with greater leaders be installed; true national leaders who could right the wrongs and treat them as true citizens so that they can live with equal hope for growth, prosperity and happiness in their own country without further worry of their rightful place under the Malaysian sun.

Well, let's pray to God for such rightful changes so that Malaysia can grow from strength to strength into a really developed nation.