At the hill the other morning, a friend told me about one of her lady friends who is in the habit of borrowing money from her. Before the last time, all the borrowed money had been returned. The last loan she gave her friend was merely five hundred.
Surprisingly, when the friend borrowed the money she gave this friend a gold necklace as collateral. So abrupt and unexpected was this move that the friend did not know what to say or do. Recovering from the unprecedented action, she asked her whether she was supposed to keep the necklace; to which the friend nodded. So, unquestioningly, she kept it.
It has been a year now, her keeping that necklace, without any sign of her friend intending to return her the money. Not only that, that friend seem to no longer want to meet her. Thus, the last time she phoned her she invited her out for a meal and she refused the invitation giving some excuse. Sensing that it could be the loan that is preventing them from meeting as friends, she told her that the invitation had nothing to do with the money, to no avail.
Looks like she would have to hold on to the necklace and probably have to forget about her money. Her friend must have considered it good exchange. Unfortunately, there was no actual agreement to convert the loan and the collateral into an exchange. Certainly, she would not be wearing someone else jewellery, would she? Even though the price of gold has gone up, it is not hers. What if, one day, the friend wants it back?
Well, my advice to her was to just keep the jewellery and to prevent any further unhappiness over the affair, just forget the loan and consider it a gift instead.
Understanding money, I know that it is one matter that can cause a lot of happiness as well as a lot of grief. Lend it to somebody and if that somebody is greedy enough to try to forget having taken a loan and time works on the money's return with it digging into our brain, causing a lot of presumptions and leaving us uneasy at the least and mad at the worst.
There was a time, as I was heading to the supermarket to purchase something, I met this guy who smiled at me, greeted me like an old friend and wondered how I could ever have forgotten him. Frankly, I had no idea who he was. He got me to guess who he was and when I mentioned a group of friends, he said he was in that group. Then, he told me the sad story of realising how he should have never got married, that he was a the supermarket thinking of how he could buy a tin of milk for his baby. All he needed was fifty ringgit. He even asked for my phone number and said that should he be able to return the money, he honestly said he did not know when, he would phone me. However, if I do not hear from him, it just meant that he was still jobless and without any money to return.
Listening to that, uncertain whether he was the friend he claimed to be, I told myself "What is fifty ringgit between friends?" That thought cost me fifty ringgit and I was left with insufficient money to make my own purchase. So, after giving him the money, I turned back to my car and drove home. To this day I do not know whether I have been duped or I have been of help to a friend. I do not consider it a loan. It was just a small gift from me. Furthermore, I was able to thank God for being in a position to help.
When it comes to money, although I am far from being rich, my able management of it has helped me greatly to be neither a borrower nor a lender.
Showing posts with label problems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label problems. Show all posts
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thursday, December 09, 2010
The five siblings and their inheritance.
"Wait, I am the eldest and therefore I make the decisions in this house now that father is no longer around," the biggest of the children told the others. The others looked at each other, unhappy with the situation, yet fearful of saying what they had in mind. Silent, that is until one of them felt he had to have his say or be pushed out of his rightful part of the inheritance.
"But the decision is not fair. You have been enjoying yourself, disappearing from this shop most of the time, leaving the four of us doing the work around here," the second son protested.
"What's that? Do you understand that the eldest is the one who takes over and become the head of the family. The head of the family makes the decision and everyone else must agree to it. Do you understand that?"
There was a lot of grumbling and unhappy faces with the second son the most vociferous about the injustice of sharing the shop with the eldest who had always been away somewhere else. This eventually lead to a quarrel among the siblings and the latest was the possibility of the matter being taken to the court.
What has transpired? Their father has just passed away without a will and not sufficient wealth to make every son happy. All he had left them was a big electrical shop. How could a shop be shared among five brothers, four of whom were already married. How much can the shop provide in a day or a month? Could the earnings from that shop be enough to feed the brothers and their families when they have to get dwellings of their own. Certainly, they cannot continue occupying the already crowded top floor.
What had happened? It was actually the father's fault that the five siblings had to face such a predicament. You see, the children were not exactly stupid. If they had been given the opportunity to strike out on their own as soon as they stopped their schooling, most of them, if not all, would have been able to find good jobs or develop their own businesses. Unfortunately, the old man had conventional ideas that the family must be together and work together for the wealth of the family. In those days, the sons were usually made use of and they become the unpaid workers in the shop. Of course, in return they have a secure job, a sense of belonging as they are also the bosses in their own shop and life was easy as the family or staff was sufficiently big to make everyone's job easy.
The problem only emerged when the father passed away and the question of who the rightful boss was arose. Even if everyone of them is the boss, someone had to head the organisation and manage the money. Who is going to trust who to control the money and divide the earnings? When it comes to money, even members of the same family will face some problems. And such problems are practically insurmountable. Brothers become no longer that close especially when a court case or some authority finally decides how the property is to be divided.
That is why a will is important, especially when the property is big enough to fight for. It will stop any misunderstanding and even if there is disatisfaction, it can only be directed at the one who has passed away and that is harmless as that one is no longer able to suffer anything more.
Another thing is the allowing of children to go out and establish their own future, no matter how much wealth is at stake. And this is how the story came to my ears. I met a relative of one of those siblings and he was repeating the mistake of his father, not allowing his child to further his studies but made to concentrate on his business. This relative told me he had no alternative but to point to that sibling's problems at the time of his father's demise as a lesson. The relative did not wish to have him make the same mistake.
"But the decision is not fair. You have been enjoying yourself, disappearing from this shop most of the time, leaving the four of us doing the work around here," the second son protested.
"What's that? Do you understand that the eldest is the one who takes over and become the head of the family. The head of the family makes the decision and everyone else must agree to it. Do you understand that?"
There was a lot of grumbling and unhappy faces with the second son the most vociferous about the injustice of sharing the shop with the eldest who had always been away somewhere else. This eventually lead to a quarrel among the siblings and the latest was the possibility of the matter being taken to the court.
What has transpired? Their father has just passed away without a will and not sufficient wealth to make every son happy. All he had left them was a big electrical shop. How could a shop be shared among five brothers, four of whom were already married. How much can the shop provide in a day or a month? Could the earnings from that shop be enough to feed the brothers and their families when they have to get dwellings of their own. Certainly, they cannot continue occupying the already crowded top floor.
What had happened? It was actually the father's fault that the five siblings had to face such a predicament. You see, the children were not exactly stupid. If they had been given the opportunity to strike out on their own as soon as they stopped their schooling, most of them, if not all, would have been able to find good jobs or develop their own businesses. Unfortunately, the old man had conventional ideas that the family must be together and work together for the wealth of the family. In those days, the sons were usually made use of and they become the unpaid workers in the shop. Of course, in return they have a secure job, a sense of belonging as they are also the bosses in their own shop and life was easy as the family or staff was sufficiently big to make everyone's job easy.
The problem only emerged when the father passed away and the question of who the rightful boss was arose. Even if everyone of them is the boss, someone had to head the organisation and manage the money. Who is going to trust who to control the money and divide the earnings? When it comes to money, even members of the same family will face some problems. And such problems are practically insurmountable. Brothers become no longer that close especially when a court case or some authority finally decides how the property is to be divided.
That is why a will is important, especially when the property is big enough to fight for. It will stop any misunderstanding and even if there is disatisfaction, it can only be directed at the one who has passed away and that is harmless as that one is no longer able to suffer anything more.
Another thing is the allowing of children to go out and establish their own future, no matter how much wealth is at stake. And this is how the story came to my ears. I met a relative of one of those siblings and he was repeating the mistake of his father, not allowing his child to further his studies but made to concentrate on his business. This relative told me he had no alternative but to point to that sibling's problems at the time of his father's demise as a lesson. The relative did not wish to have him make the same mistake.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The truth as seen by a visitor.
Having been caught by the rain during the last few evenings and yet not having to suffer the consequences, I was intending to write on immunity this day. However, this letter from a tourist which appeared in the Star newspaper takes me to something more pressing in my country, Malaysia. Let us look at a part of what this tourist has written.
"But what’s most outstanding were the people. No matter of which race and religion, all of them share the same traits: open and extremely friendly.
They are very polite and always helpful. They seemed to get along well with each other in their social lives and working relationships. I did not see any unpleasant incident, unlike in so many other places where social segregation and disturbances are clearly visible.
Despite their differences, the people here appeared to me as genuine Malaysians. Happy is the country where people can live in harmony and understanding with their neighbours and not bother about colour, religion or ethnicity."
There is so much truth in what this tourist has written. I agree whole-heartedly with his impressions of Malaysians from all walks of life. Malaysians as a whole get along very well with each other no matter their differences in race, culture or religion. We respect each others' belief and practices. We never think of our friends as immigrants from another land for none of us are; we are born in this land and this is our country.
Unfortunately, we have powerful, influential political leaders who abuse their positions to ram into our minds every so often that some are more supreme than others, that they are the guardians of one particular community despite their standing as national leaders, that the minority people are less deserving of being equal in every way to the majority and these minority are still considered 'immigrants'.
Lately, there was the government creating a foundation for just one race with the so called noble idea of helping the poor having a share of properties in the country which according to them would otherwise be in the hands of the elite. Which elite? If it is to help the poor, every community has its poor. Such a foundation to help the poor ought to be for all poor Malaysians and not just for one community. Who actually benefits from such a foundation? It is the rich in that community who will become even richer. How much can the poor, especially those who live from hand to mouth benefit from such a foundation? With this crooked thinking (How true is knowledge I gained from the book 'Straight and Crooked Thinking'.)politicians find ways to gain at the expense of the really poor whose name they abuse. Can it be a 1Malaysia when projects usually divide the people?
Well, I am sorry but most Malaysian politicians I detest.
"But what’s most outstanding were the people. No matter of which race and religion, all of them share the same traits: open and extremely friendly.
They are very polite and always helpful. They seemed to get along well with each other in their social lives and working relationships. I did not see any unpleasant incident, unlike in so many other places where social segregation and disturbances are clearly visible.
Despite their differences, the people here appeared to me as genuine Malaysians. Happy is the country where people can live in harmony and understanding with their neighbours and not bother about colour, religion or ethnicity."
There is so much truth in what this tourist has written. I agree whole-heartedly with his impressions of Malaysians from all walks of life. Malaysians as a whole get along very well with each other no matter their differences in race, culture or religion. We respect each others' belief and practices. We never think of our friends as immigrants from another land for none of us are; we are born in this land and this is our country.
Unfortunately, we have powerful, influential political leaders who abuse their positions to ram into our minds every so often that some are more supreme than others, that they are the guardians of one particular community despite their standing as national leaders, that the minority people are less deserving of being equal in every way to the majority and these minority are still considered 'immigrants'.
Lately, there was the government creating a foundation for just one race with the so called noble idea of helping the poor having a share of properties in the country which according to them would otherwise be in the hands of the elite. Which elite? If it is to help the poor, every community has its poor. Such a foundation to help the poor ought to be for all poor Malaysians and not just for one community. Who actually benefits from such a foundation? It is the rich in that community who will become even richer. How much can the poor, especially those who live from hand to mouth benefit from such a foundation? With this crooked thinking (How true is knowledge I gained from the book 'Straight and Crooked Thinking'.)politicians find ways to gain at the expense of the really poor whose name they abuse. Can it be a 1Malaysia when projects usually divide the people?
Well, I am sorry but most Malaysian politicians I detest.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Even mothers, some of them, cannot think straight.
The problem with my family was that my parents gave me the best possible education they could afford. Though they knew not a word in English, they sent me to an English Language medium school. I went from Wellesley Primary School to Hutchings School and then Penang Free School. Of course, I was lucky to have an uncle, the then headmaster of St. Xaviers Branch School who prevented my parents from requesting for a secondary school nearer to home than the Penang Free School. "What nonsense!" my uncle told my parents. "Everyone hopes for their children to get a place in Penang Free School. Not anyone can get a place there, you know?"
With a good education behind me and the urge to read everything there was to know from books and magazines from the nearby British Council in Bishop Street, the Penang Library and the United States Information Service, I could read and understand many things, particularly books on health as I was a weak and sickly child and I knew even as a boy of about ten years that I had to get out of my delicate constitution. So I read a lot and discover that I could reach the four corners of the world, improve my health with exercise, the right food and proper rest as well as a powerful immune system and peep into the world of the Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison and others as they made discoveries that help us to gather more knowledge and understanding.
Knowledge and understanding is important is ensuring that truth and life is seen clearly and not through distorted mirrors; you know, those that are not well made and so can change how you look by giving your rounded face a fluted outline. So knowledge helps me to discern what could sometimes be not obvious to my parents.
And that can sometimes lead to problems. I remember a time when my mother was angry with someone. As a witness to what had happened, I could comprehend the matter well and from that could see that my own mother was clearly wrong. In my innocence I told her not to quarrel with the other woman as it was obvious that the mistake was hers. She turned on me, gave such a tongue-lashing that I regretted opening my mouth and uttering the truth. She told me I was no son of hers; my finger bending backwards rather than forward. From that i understood that as her child I was supposed to agree to whatever she did even when it was wrong. According to her that would be the natural behaviour just as our fingers can only bend forward into the palm but not outward.
But why take the fingers as examples of right or wrong. Why not the arms from the shoulder which can be so flexible and move in almost any direction according to its needs. At that instance, I certainly had to bend backwards to do what was right which was to point to the truth. According to me, the truth is always important even when the wrong is mine. For unless I realise where I have gone wrong, I cannot right the wrong or improve myself. But then, my mother did not agree to my view and every time I had to correct her, she would deny her mistake and told me I was the one who should change. Each time it happened, I wondered how parents who would give me the education to sharpen my mind could not see truth, why my mother and other mothers sometimes just cannot think straight.
"It could be just your mother who is like that," someone may point out. Well, that was what I thought until I had communication with other people. In fact, it was just two evenings ago that a lady told me it happened to her too. According to her mother, she was the rebel, the one that rebels against her way of thinking and pointing out her mistakes even when she was at odds with someone who is not a relative. It was like one of those times when I realise and confirm that I am no freak; just an ordinary human who just happens to see things clearly.
With a good education behind me and the urge to read everything there was to know from books and magazines from the nearby British Council in Bishop Street, the Penang Library and the United States Information Service, I could read and understand many things, particularly books on health as I was a weak and sickly child and I knew even as a boy of about ten years that I had to get out of my delicate constitution. So I read a lot and discover that I could reach the four corners of the world, improve my health with exercise, the right food and proper rest as well as a powerful immune system and peep into the world of the Wright Brothers, Thomas Edison and others as they made discoveries that help us to gather more knowledge and understanding.
Knowledge and understanding is important is ensuring that truth and life is seen clearly and not through distorted mirrors; you know, those that are not well made and so can change how you look by giving your rounded face a fluted outline. So knowledge helps me to discern what could sometimes be not obvious to my parents.
And that can sometimes lead to problems. I remember a time when my mother was angry with someone. As a witness to what had happened, I could comprehend the matter well and from that could see that my own mother was clearly wrong. In my innocence I told her not to quarrel with the other woman as it was obvious that the mistake was hers. She turned on me, gave such a tongue-lashing that I regretted opening my mouth and uttering the truth. She told me I was no son of hers; my finger bending backwards rather than forward. From that i understood that as her child I was supposed to agree to whatever she did even when it was wrong. According to her that would be the natural behaviour just as our fingers can only bend forward into the palm but not outward.
But why take the fingers as examples of right or wrong. Why not the arms from the shoulder which can be so flexible and move in almost any direction according to its needs. At that instance, I certainly had to bend backwards to do what was right which was to point to the truth. According to me, the truth is always important even when the wrong is mine. For unless I realise where I have gone wrong, I cannot right the wrong or improve myself. But then, my mother did not agree to my view and every time I had to correct her, she would deny her mistake and told me I was the one who should change. Each time it happened, I wondered how parents who would give me the education to sharpen my mind could not see truth, why my mother and other mothers sometimes just cannot think straight.
"It could be just your mother who is like that," someone may point out. Well, that was what I thought until I had communication with other people. In fact, it was just two evenings ago that a lady told me it happened to her too. According to her mother, she was the rebel, the one that rebels against her way of thinking and pointing out her mistakes even when she was at odds with someone who is not a relative. It was like one of those times when I realise and confirm that I am no freak; just an ordinary human who just happens to see things clearly.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
When leaders have such low mentality, what can we expect?
I remember with disgust how the one time prime minister of my country telling the ruling party to support the non-government organisation, PERKASA, otherwise it would lose votes in the coming election. There would have been nothing wrong with suggesting such a move as all political parties consider the garnering of votes very essential to its existence except for the fact that this NGO has been very vocal in its divisive racial statements and is so unethical to the extend of spreading lies to get one community to fear other communities taking over political power which can never be for the opposition consists of just as many Malays as the ruling party.
This ex-prime minister who is the sponsor of PERKASA apparently wants its chairman to spread this lie often enough to have people believe it is the truth. Indirectly, he is helping to incite hatred among the people with so much racial talk.
Anyone would have thought the unity, development and welfare of a country is top priority and nothing should be allowed to stand in its way. Yet, the very leaders we hope to lead the whole country to a greater future are still playing community politics. It is sad indeed that we search but could not see leaders who think of themselves as leaders of a nation and not just a community even though they belong to a certain community. Wearing half-heartedly the shoes of national leadership but constantly playing the role of community leaders in order to achieve popularity; how is the country ever to reach the so much dreamt of developed nation status? The country's wealth is available, the structures are in place but human resources are never fully utilised because of this community mentality which is constantly planning mostly for the development of only one community, placing the reign of power and decision only in the hands of this community while the minority awaits on the side pavements of the country hoping a time will come when they can fully participate in the country's development as accepted brothers and sisters, not step children.
The minority has waited long and patiently and there was just no way out as its leaders think merely of their positions; shaking the hands of those in power, proud to hold whatever was granted them, secretly refusing to fight for the rights of the people they represent while outwardly pretending to do so. Even such pretenses did once in while cut into the pride of their masters and when rebuked, would even rephrase their words to appease such masters.
Well, will there ever be a united nation in the true sense of the word? Superficially yes! Even today, the nation is considered united although the country is divided into groups with different rights although all of them are in every sense citizens, patriotic citizens who will be expected to defend this nation when the need arises. When you, a minority achieves something great, a Malaysian has done it, when it comes to demands to be treated equal, it is "If you don't like the situation here, you can go back to your hometown." After all, "The Chinese came as .....and the Indians with their ........look like ....." After 53 years of independence, we talk worse than when our ancestors such as Parameswara, Hang Tuah, Admiral Chen Ho and Hang Li Po first landed in Malaya. In those days, they knew how to show respect because all of them were immigrants. Today, they have forgotten their roots and believe the lies our politicians tell us.
So something has to happen or we will forever be stuck in this mud-hole.
This ex-prime minister who is the sponsor of PERKASA apparently wants its chairman to spread this lie often enough to have people believe it is the truth. Indirectly, he is helping to incite hatred among the people with so much racial talk.
Anyone would have thought the unity, development and welfare of a country is top priority and nothing should be allowed to stand in its way. Yet, the very leaders we hope to lead the whole country to a greater future are still playing community politics. It is sad indeed that we search but could not see leaders who think of themselves as leaders of a nation and not just a community even though they belong to a certain community. Wearing half-heartedly the shoes of national leadership but constantly playing the role of community leaders in order to achieve popularity; how is the country ever to reach the so much dreamt of developed nation status? The country's wealth is available, the structures are in place but human resources are never fully utilised because of this community mentality which is constantly planning mostly for the development of only one community, placing the reign of power and decision only in the hands of this community while the minority awaits on the side pavements of the country hoping a time will come when they can fully participate in the country's development as accepted brothers and sisters, not step children.
The minority has waited long and patiently and there was just no way out as its leaders think merely of their positions; shaking the hands of those in power, proud to hold whatever was granted them, secretly refusing to fight for the rights of the people they represent while outwardly pretending to do so. Even such pretenses did once in while cut into the pride of their masters and when rebuked, would even rephrase their words to appease such masters.
Well, will there ever be a united nation in the true sense of the word? Superficially yes! Even today, the nation is considered united although the country is divided into groups with different rights although all of them are in every sense citizens, patriotic citizens who will be expected to defend this nation when the need arises. When you, a minority achieves something great, a Malaysian has done it, when it comes to demands to be treated equal, it is "If you don't like the situation here, you can go back to your hometown." After all, "The Chinese came as .....and the Indians with their ........look like ....." After 53 years of independence, we talk worse than when our ancestors such as Parameswara, Hang Tuah, Admiral Chen Ho and Hang Li Po first landed in Malaya. In those days, they knew how to show respect because all of them were immigrants. Today, they have forgotten their roots and believe the lies our politicians tell us.
So something has to happen or we will forever be stuck in this mud-hole.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Even medical science has so much more to uncover.
There was once a beautiful lady who studied hard and was considered to be the best student in school. She got excellent results each year and of course, it lead to her eventual profession as a lawyer.
In the court she did very well too, moving among the great lawyers of the country in the busy capital itself which perhaps showed her capability as most small town people who became lawyers in their home-town and stayed there with the local population knowing who they are.
She was a vibrant person, mixes easily and had a wide circle of friends. Certainly she was successful and life must have been beautiful till one day, all of a sudden, the mother received a phone call from her, screaming for help. The mother was shocked to hear the unexpected cry for help and instantly rushed to the capital to see what was amiss. Upon reaching the daughter, the mother found her groaning in pain, the pain coming from her stomach. She took the daughter to see a doctor but nothing could be done as the medicine given did nothing to elevate the pain.
When everything that the doctors could do did not seem to heal her pain, the mother took her daughter back home. There, gradually, the pain subsided but she was a changed person. Gone was her smile and happy nature, preferring to remain all by herself rather than to mix with others. No more social life and no more desire for work.
Was it stress, emotional trauma or was it some kind of spiritual thing? Well, no one knows to this day as she still suffered from some kind of quiet depressed mood, hardly talking, very quiet and usually all by herself, feeling a little better when she bathes more often.
What could have caused a young woman passionate about life to become thus? It is not that the parents had not tried all venues available to remove whatever ails her. They have taken her to the best doctors, Malay spiritual men or 'bomoh', Chinese spiritual people who would go into a trance to give relief to people with spiritual problems or people tormented by spirits, Indian priests and spiritualists, Siamese spiritual people and whatever there could possibly be to no avail.
See, there is so much still unknown in this world. There is still so much to discover. There is a lot more to learn and that is what causes some of the problems in this world and indirectly makes this world an exciting one with knowledge yet to be discovered. I believe there is a cure for all things but sometimes the cure may not work because people are not open to it, open to its power of healing.
In my life I have worked hard at certain things to find solutions to my own problems, one of which was my rhuematic heart which was diagnosed when I was in my twenties and at that time I was only given six more years to live. Today, about forty years later, I am still very much alive with no more rhuematism and no more rhuematic heart.
In the court she did very well too, moving among the great lawyers of the country in the busy capital itself which perhaps showed her capability as most small town people who became lawyers in their home-town and stayed there with the local population knowing who they are.
She was a vibrant person, mixes easily and had a wide circle of friends. Certainly she was successful and life must have been beautiful till one day, all of a sudden, the mother received a phone call from her, screaming for help. The mother was shocked to hear the unexpected cry for help and instantly rushed to the capital to see what was amiss. Upon reaching the daughter, the mother found her groaning in pain, the pain coming from her stomach. She took the daughter to see a doctor but nothing could be done as the medicine given did nothing to elevate the pain.
When everything that the doctors could do did not seem to heal her pain, the mother took her daughter back home. There, gradually, the pain subsided but she was a changed person. Gone was her smile and happy nature, preferring to remain all by herself rather than to mix with others. No more social life and no more desire for work.
Was it stress, emotional trauma or was it some kind of spiritual thing? Well, no one knows to this day as she still suffered from some kind of quiet depressed mood, hardly talking, very quiet and usually all by herself, feeling a little better when she bathes more often.
What could have caused a young woman passionate about life to become thus? It is not that the parents had not tried all venues available to remove whatever ails her. They have taken her to the best doctors, Malay spiritual men or 'bomoh', Chinese spiritual people who would go into a trance to give relief to people with spiritual problems or people tormented by spirits, Indian priests and spiritualists, Siamese spiritual people and whatever there could possibly be to no avail.
See, there is so much still unknown in this world. There is still so much to discover. There is a lot more to learn and that is what causes some of the problems in this world and indirectly makes this world an exciting one with knowledge yet to be discovered. I believe there is a cure for all things but sometimes the cure may not work because people are not open to it, open to its power of healing.
In my life I have worked hard at certain things to find solutions to my own problems, one of which was my rhuematic heart which was diagnosed when I was in my twenties and at that time I was only given six more years to live. Today, about forty years later, I am still very much alive with no more rhuematism and no more rhuematic heart.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
There is a little bit of evil in us.
There is this friend, an animal lover who has again and again shown herself to be someone who loves animals to the extent of going out of her way to care for them, treat them or give assistance where and when necessary.
We were having lunch eating a kind of steamed flat noodles with fish, eggs and mushroom in a light sauce when she asked me whether it was true that a child is born good and it is only later that we learn to be bad.
My reply was: That is what has always been said. What do you think?
She told me about a guy who caught a rat in a trap one day. The guy told his friends how he got hold of some cooking oil, poured it over the rat and set fire to it before letting the rat run out of the trap. She told me that was really cruel for that rat was burnt to death, suffering from extreme pain before death came to its rescue.
But then, she added it is not that she herself was all that good either. Once, just the guy in the first story, she caught a rat in a trap and thought of her cats. She attracted the cats to the trap and had them waiting to pounce on the rat as soon as she opened the trap-door. Of course, her cats got the rat for their food. She told me that although in nature the rat is possible food for the cat, it could have escaped death if those cats were not placed ready to catch it. She said she enjoyed the sight of the rat being caught by the cat. She admitted that she had that little bit of sadistic streak in her.
When she had finished her story, I realised I too had at one time or another been guilty of demostrating such sadism. Sadism in humans is in fact very common. How many of us get pleasure from saying words that make others feel uncomfortable or hurt others. How many of us have instigated another to some undesirable or healthy activity. How many of us have challenged others knowing full well that that person would certainly end up the loser or the sufferer. Even as youngsters, how often has the stronger squeezed the hands of the weaker that little bit harder to have the other person grimace with pain or discomfort? A very common occurrence during those egoistic youthful period of our lives. Yes, it has a lot to do with ego, the show of superiority over somebody or something. Bullying, for example, is one clear cut indication of sadism among children.
Could it be that adults inadvertently cultivated such sadism? At this point I remembered a scene where a child hit an adult on his hand. Although not painful, just to entertain the little child, the adult pretends to cry. That first surprised the child. Getting over the surprise, the child laughed at the adult. The child did the sme act again, hitting the adult with the adult reacting in a similar manner which gives the child pleasure. Apparently without any harm to anybody, is such a play an unintentional lesson for the development of sadism? What do you think?
If it is the fault of the ego inherent in each and every one of us, then she is right in claiming that a child is not born totally good for every child is born with an ego. No? If sadism had been taught or acquired through actions or some other means that take place while the child is developing, then the saying that a child is born innocent or good is true.
Well, whatever it is, as long as our ego is our master, we will find it difficult to rid our world of a lot of problems caused by humans. And most, if not all, of our problems come from the deeds of Man.
We were having lunch eating a kind of steamed flat noodles with fish, eggs and mushroom in a light sauce when she asked me whether it was true that a child is born good and it is only later that we learn to be bad.
My reply was: That is what has always been said. What do you think?
She told me about a guy who caught a rat in a trap one day. The guy told his friends how he got hold of some cooking oil, poured it over the rat and set fire to it before letting the rat run out of the trap. She told me that was really cruel for that rat was burnt to death, suffering from extreme pain before death came to its rescue.
But then, she added it is not that she herself was all that good either. Once, just the guy in the first story, she caught a rat in a trap and thought of her cats. She attracted the cats to the trap and had them waiting to pounce on the rat as soon as she opened the trap-door. Of course, her cats got the rat for their food. She told me that although in nature the rat is possible food for the cat, it could have escaped death if those cats were not placed ready to catch it. She said she enjoyed the sight of the rat being caught by the cat. She admitted that she had that little bit of sadistic streak in her.
When she had finished her story, I realised I too had at one time or another been guilty of demostrating such sadism. Sadism in humans is in fact very common. How many of us get pleasure from saying words that make others feel uncomfortable or hurt others. How many of us have instigated another to some undesirable or healthy activity. How many of us have challenged others knowing full well that that person would certainly end up the loser or the sufferer. Even as youngsters, how often has the stronger squeezed the hands of the weaker that little bit harder to have the other person grimace with pain or discomfort? A very common occurrence during those egoistic youthful period of our lives. Yes, it has a lot to do with ego, the show of superiority over somebody or something. Bullying, for example, is one clear cut indication of sadism among children.
Could it be that adults inadvertently cultivated such sadism? At this point I remembered a scene where a child hit an adult on his hand. Although not painful, just to entertain the little child, the adult pretends to cry. That first surprised the child. Getting over the surprise, the child laughed at the adult. The child did the sme act again, hitting the adult with the adult reacting in a similar manner which gives the child pleasure. Apparently without any harm to anybody, is such a play an unintentional lesson for the development of sadism? What do you think?
If it is the fault of the ego inherent in each and every one of us, then she is right in claiming that a child is not born totally good for every child is born with an ego. No? If sadism had been taught or acquired through actions or some other means that take place while the child is developing, then the saying that a child is born innocent or good is true.
Well, whatever it is, as long as our ego is our master, we will find it difficult to rid our world of a lot of problems caused by humans. And most, if not all, of our problems come from the deeds of Man.
Friday, July 16, 2010
No need to follow others.
Today I had a visitor who shared something which i believe could be of benefit to almost anyone. This friend was chatting with me when the subject of her getting a marriage partner arose.
"You ought to find someone to share your life with," was the advice given by a concerned friend. Of course this brought a certain amount of discomfort to this friend as her philosophy of life was obviously different from many but then there was nothing odd about her as her thinking and life is definitely well-balanced with much logic and truth in many ways. I certainly agree to her way of life and thinking.
Her philosophy on such matters is that every one of us are individuals with very different wants and needs. When it comes to women, some grow up wanting a family while others prefer to be on their own. Whatever their stand on the matter, so long as they find happiness who can claim they are wrong in their choice. No one in fact can dictate that his or hers is the only way to true happiness. And no one way is the perfect vehicle to bliss as experience and observations will easily point our the many pitfalls in both situations. The debate will carry on decades to come and none will become the wiser.
I did find happiness in marriage although there were a few times when the sea can be choppy. So, I can point out to her the number of benefits of a good married life, one of which is the opportunity to share whatever glories and triumphs, disappointments and sadness with someone who is almost constantly available to double your joys and diminish your pain, someone who can be depended upon to encourage you to overcome whatever obstacles in your path. There are many more points that could be factors to consider for marriage.
But then, she has her points too. She told me that once a marriage is concluded, change to the situation is no longer viable. According to her, in a marriage one partner is always subjected to the supervision of another. So, you cannot do whatever you wish freely, such as the woman going out with a man friend without having to give an account of the evenings events. Why should we have to subject ourselves to such things, as though our lives are no longer our own, having to answer to someone else our very own actions and our own lives. She obviously abhors such possible questioning by one's spouse.
And, she added, there is always the possibility of change. After a number of years, some may meet someone attractive enough to pull them away. Imagine the pain and sequences of events that can take place which can disrupt the harmony in their lives, when it happens to someone in a marriage. There would be divorce and accusations of one kind or another from both the parties. One could claim he/she has been neglected and that had led him/her to another's arms while the other partner could claim that there was never real care and understanding in the marriage. There would be a lot of fury, noise and an inevitable traumatic break-up. Whereas for those who remain single always, it is understood that no one has the right to prevent or feel cheated by such a change. Friendship could even continue as one of the partners goes off into another direction. She told me she had been very close with two such friends and are still friendly with them despite no longer being that close.
After all, she stressed, if someone is happy as a single why would that person be expected to change and follow others in what they do. Well, marriage is just not her cup of tea.
Furthermore, as a single, she has the freedom of movement and decisions available to her at all times. In fact, she is thinking of going to stop her work as a teacher and head for another country to study further. This is not the first time she has done so and she strongly believes, there could always be obstacles to such moves if she were already married. As for money, although she has probably not sufficient to last the two year course, she is going as she need not be responsible to anyone for whatever financial decisions she makes. Worse comes to the worse, she would just return home half-way through the course to earn more money should the money run dry at any time during the course. Would that kind of action be easy for a married man or woman? Leaving a family in such circumstances could be termed irresponsible, but a single woman is only responsible for herself. And the situation does not make her unhappy at all as she looked at it as being lucky; lucky to not have to be responsible to anyone else and lucky to be given the opportunity to try to see her way through the course on such a precarious financial position.
She is without doubt a really plucky woman with a very positive and admirable outlook on life. So, rightly or wrongly, she has made her own free choice to be happily single ever in control of every act and path she takes to live life to the full, consistently certain that happiness is available to her always.
When she tells me her conviction of her actions, I could see the wisdom behind her thoughts. However, by so saying I am not implying that married people are not wise for I was married to my wife till death did us part and I certainly have my wisdom. (As one previous girl-friend once muttered, 'Boasting again.' but then what can I do under this circumstance.) All of us have our own strong belief, be it to get married or to remain single and I must insist that all of us are right until for some, circumstance beyond their control prove them wrong.
Whatever it is live life with confidence regardless of the many potholes in our path for as long as the urge to live is there, happiness can be found if we persist in getting out of those potholes and get on with living. There is always life in living.
"You ought to find someone to share your life with," was the advice given by a concerned friend. Of course this brought a certain amount of discomfort to this friend as her philosophy of life was obviously different from many but then there was nothing odd about her as her thinking and life is definitely well-balanced with much logic and truth in many ways. I certainly agree to her way of life and thinking.
Her philosophy on such matters is that every one of us are individuals with very different wants and needs. When it comes to women, some grow up wanting a family while others prefer to be on their own. Whatever their stand on the matter, so long as they find happiness who can claim they are wrong in their choice. No one in fact can dictate that his or hers is the only way to true happiness. And no one way is the perfect vehicle to bliss as experience and observations will easily point our the many pitfalls in both situations. The debate will carry on decades to come and none will become the wiser.
I did find happiness in marriage although there were a few times when the sea can be choppy. So, I can point out to her the number of benefits of a good married life, one of which is the opportunity to share whatever glories and triumphs, disappointments and sadness with someone who is almost constantly available to double your joys and diminish your pain, someone who can be depended upon to encourage you to overcome whatever obstacles in your path. There are many more points that could be factors to consider for marriage.
But then, she has her points too. She told me that once a marriage is concluded, change to the situation is no longer viable. According to her, in a marriage one partner is always subjected to the supervision of another. So, you cannot do whatever you wish freely, such as the woman going out with a man friend without having to give an account of the evenings events. Why should we have to subject ourselves to such things, as though our lives are no longer our own, having to answer to someone else our very own actions and our own lives. She obviously abhors such possible questioning by one's spouse.
And, she added, there is always the possibility of change. After a number of years, some may meet someone attractive enough to pull them away. Imagine the pain and sequences of events that can take place which can disrupt the harmony in their lives, when it happens to someone in a marriage. There would be divorce and accusations of one kind or another from both the parties. One could claim he/she has been neglected and that had led him/her to another's arms while the other partner could claim that there was never real care and understanding in the marriage. There would be a lot of fury, noise and an inevitable traumatic break-up. Whereas for those who remain single always, it is understood that no one has the right to prevent or feel cheated by such a change. Friendship could even continue as one of the partners goes off into another direction. She told me she had been very close with two such friends and are still friendly with them despite no longer being that close.
After all, she stressed, if someone is happy as a single why would that person be expected to change and follow others in what they do. Well, marriage is just not her cup of tea.
Furthermore, as a single, she has the freedom of movement and decisions available to her at all times. In fact, she is thinking of going to stop her work as a teacher and head for another country to study further. This is not the first time she has done so and she strongly believes, there could always be obstacles to such moves if she were already married. As for money, although she has probably not sufficient to last the two year course, she is going as she need not be responsible to anyone for whatever financial decisions she makes. Worse comes to the worse, she would just return home half-way through the course to earn more money should the money run dry at any time during the course. Would that kind of action be easy for a married man or woman? Leaving a family in such circumstances could be termed irresponsible, but a single woman is only responsible for herself. And the situation does not make her unhappy at all as she looked at it as being lucky; lucky to not have to be responsible to anyone else and lucky to be given the opportunity to try to see her way through the course on such a precarious financial position.
She is without doubt a really plucky woman with a very positive and admirable outlook on life. So, rightly or wrongly, she has made her own free choice to be happily single ever in control of every act and path she takes to live life to the full, consistently certain that happiness is available to her always.
When she tells me her conviction of her actions, I could see the wisdom behind her thoughts. However, by so saying I am not implying that married people are not wise for I was married to my wife till death did us part and I certainly have my wisdom. (As one previous girl-friend once muttered, 'Boasting again.' but then what can I do under this circumstance.) All of us have our own strong belief, be it to get married or to remain single and I must insist that all of us are right until for some, circumstance beyond their control prove them wrong.
Whatever it is live life with confidence regardless of the many potholes in our path for as long as the urge to live is there, happiness can be found if we persist in getting out of those potholes and get on with living. There is always life in living.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Image tarnished by a policy.
Do you know who suffered the most as a result of being part of a community given special privileges?
You know, those of us who made it, doing well physically, academically or financially, on our own steam without any privileges given truly or implied, stand tall and proud of our achievements. Not only that! Friends and people who see our success recognise it as our own effort and we are given sincere due praise. Take me for example. As a Malaysian Chinese, I come from a poor family which ought to be helped or aided by the government's National Economic Policy. None was given Even an application for a low cost house was not granted to my parent and the reason given was that my father's pay was too low and uncertain to be able to afford a low-cost house. So, when I was young it was always a rented house or room. And my father worked to the bone with the assistance of my mother and their children. And that was how my brother was deprived of an education at form two level despite him being fairly intelligent and capable academically. So, when despite all the obstacles placed in our path, I managed to be chosen to enter the Penang Free School on my own steam, without any tuition, I was and still am proud of my capability. Eventually, without the financial backing for further education, I entered teacher training where I did very well in the subjects and areas I was involved. I am one of those teachers who can claim a 100% passing rate in form five art and craft each and every year. That is another of my pride. (Today it looks like I have to brag a bit.) So, everything I possess is the result of my own effort and ability as I had no economical assistance from either my parents or the government, not that I did not need it but help never came just because I am not a bumiputra (This is translated into 'Prince of the soil', in this case the Malaysian soil. This word is used in Malaysia to refer to the Malays.) although I was born and bred here and this is definitely my country. I was never given any special treatment or privileges and therefore all my success is to my credit.
Back to the poor fellows who suffer the most as a result of being in a community given special privileges. You know, I realised this long ago, pitied the guys who had to suffer for it but then when people fight for it almost everyday in the media, I suppose people cannot but believe that whatever success achieved by a bumiputra must be because of those special privileges even when it is not true.
In Sungai Petani, for example, there is this Malay doctor in a private hospital. He is very good and has shown himself to be capable and skillful in his profession. Unfortunately, the stigma of the special privileges is always present and whenever people who have never had any professional contact with this doctor heard the doctor's name recommended, the perception is that it is a doctor who reached where he is because of the special privileges that he is entitled to, meaning that he could not be very good. With that his good name is indirectly tarnished by the fact that special privileges entitled some not so good students to qualify for places in the universities and every opportunity is made to have the students concerned pass so that there will be a certain quota achieved.
Whether it is true or not that not so good students made it in the public universities, who is to know except that it is a fact that a good number of our graduates could not get jobs in their particular field of study and most of them could not even write a simple letter in English although there was at one time no lack of jobs. Some of the graduates had to be taken into professions not in their field of study to stop graduate unemployment.
Sad it is to know that some bumiputra who are very capable have to be burdened with an image which is obviously not of their doing. And it is for this reason that many citizens are ready to accept the fact that scholars be chosen based on merits and help given to the truly needy. In fact help does not go to the rural Malays or the poor because this help is often extended to the already well-to-do who use their position to still demand special privileges so that they can become richer. They know that when economic aid is to be given to the needy which ought to be the case as the money comes from the citizens, they will not fall into that category and so will not enjoy the chance for greater wealth. Such shameless demands will always be around as long as the conscience allow it.
It happens when conscience become blunt and people shamelessly take what ought not to be theirs. I know of so many well-to-do Malays and Chinese owning low-cost houses or lots, low cost because the houses and lots are subsidised with other buyers' or citizens' money.
These shameless people enjoy while there are some who get their image or name tarnished all because of a not well planned policy.
You know, those of us who made it, doing well physically, academically or financially, on our own steam without any privileges given truly or implied, stand tall and proud of our achievements. Not only that! Friends and people who see our success recognise it as our own effort and we are given sincere due praise. Take me for example. As a Malaysian Chinese, I come from a poor family which ought to be helped or aided by the government's National Economic Policy. None was given Even an application for a low cost house was not granted to my parent and the reason given was that my father's pay was too low and uncertain to be able to afford a low-cost house. So, when I was young it was always a rented house or room. And my father worked to the bone with the assistance of my mother and their children. And that was how my brother was deprived of an education at form two level despite him being fairly intelligent and capable academically. So, when despite all the obstacles placed in our path, I managed to be chosen to enter the Penang Free School on my own steam, without any tuition, I was and still am proud of my capability. Eventually, without the financial backing for further education, I entered teacher training where I did very well in the subjects and areas I was involved. I am one of those teachers who can claim a 100% passing rate in form five art and craft each and every year. That is another of my pride. (Today it looks like I have to brag a bit.) So, everything I possess is the result of my own effort and ability as I had no economical assistance from either my parents or the government, not that I did not need it but help never came just because I am not a bumiputra (This is translated into 'Prince of the soil', in this case the Malaysian soil. This word is used in Malaysia to refer to the Malays.) although I was born and bred here and this is definitely my country. I was never given any special treatment or privileges and therefore all my success is to my credit.
Back to the poor fellows who suffer the most as a result of being in a community given special privileges. You know, I realised this long ago, pitied the guys who had to suffer for it but then when people fight for it almost everyday in the media, I suppose people cannot but believe that whatever success achieved by a bumiputra must be because of those special privileges even when it is not true.
In Sungai Petani, for example, there is this Malay doctor in a private hospital. He is very good and has shown himself to be capable and skillful in his profession. Unfortunately, the stigma of the special privileges is always present and whenever people who have never had any professional contact with this doctor heard the doctor's name recommended, the perception is that it is a doctor who reached where he is because of the special privileges that he is entitled to, meaning that he could not be very good. With that his good name is indirectly tarnished by the fact that special privileges entitled some not so good students to qualify for places in the universities and every opportunity is made to have the students concerned pass so that there will be a certain quota achieved.
Whether it is true or not that not so good students made it in the public universities, who is to know except that it is a fact that a good number of our graduates could not get jobs in their particular field of study and most of them could not even write a simple letter in English although there was at one time no lack of jobs. Some of the graduates had to be taken into professions not in their field of study to stop graduate unemployment.
Sad it is to know that some bumiputra who are very capable have to be burdened with an image which is obviously not of their doing. And it is for this reason that many citizens are ready to accept the fact that scholars be chosen based on merits and help given to the truly needy. In fact help does not go to the rural Malays or the poor because this help is often extended to the already well-to-do who use their position to still demand special privileges so that they can become richer. They know that when economic aid is to be given to the needy which ought to be the case as the money comes from the citizens, they will not fall into that category and so will not enjoy the chance for greater wealth. Such shameless demands will always be around as long as the conscience allow it.
It happens when conscience become blunt and people shamelessly take what ought not to be theirs. I know of so many well-to-do Malays and Chinese owning low-cost houses or lots, low cost because the houses and lots are subsidised with other buyers' or citizens' money.
These shameless people enjoy while there are some who get their image or name tarnished all because of a not well planned policy.
Monday, July 12, 2010
The love and sacrifices of some people.
As I looked at this neighbour, it dawned upon me the amount of sacrifices a parent have to sometimes make to bring up a child who is handicapped.
This neighbour has a son who was involved with an accident as a result of which he was unable to walk. To go anywhere there is the need for a wheelchair. To go anyplace far there is need for transport from the gate of the house. As the family is not exactly rich, they have no car and have to depend upon relatives and friends to provide the necessary transport.
The family moved to this present location so as to be near the primary school where the child is studying. Each morning, the mother would push the child in his wheelchair to the school which is about two hundred metres from their home.
That is not all. In this case the child is also very demanding, sometimes shouting at the top of his voice. Most of the time, perhaps understanding his frustrating situation, the mother would tolerate his nonsense but once in a while there would be some disagreement and quarrel would ensue. Yet, she attends to him well each day without fail.
Giving attention to the child must have cost the family a lot of time, time which a not so rich family could have put to use to obtain more income and have a better life. Thus, such a family has to endure some form of hardship. Life is tough of course but the family, especially the mother is ever so positive and kind to the child. Well, such is the love of a mother.
So, love pulls us through no matter what difficulty may arise. Difficulties are temporary but love remains forever even when the person is no longer there.
This neighbour has a son who was involved with an accident as a result of which he was unable to walk. To go anywhere there is the need for a wheelchair. To go anyplace far there is need for transport from the gate of the house. As the family is not exactly rich, they have no car and have to depend upon relatives and friends to provide the necessary transport.
The family moved to this present location so as to be near the primary school where the child is studying. Each morning, the mother would push the child in his wheelchair to the school which is about two hundred metres from their home.
That is not all. In this case the child is also very demanding, sometimes shouting at the top of his voice. Most of the time, perhaps understanding his frustrating situation, the mother would tolerate his nonsense but once in a while there would be some disagreement and quarrel would ensue. Yet, she attends to him well each day without fail.
Giving attention to the child must have cost the family a lot of time, time which a not so rich family could have put to use to obtain more income and have a better life. Thus, such a family has to endure some form of hardship. Life is tough of course but the family, especially the mother is ever so positive and kind to the child. Well, such is the love of a mother.
So, love pulls us through no matter what difficulty may arise. Difficulties are temporary but love remains forever even when the person is no longer there.
Friday, June 04, 2010
The value of knowledge.
"It took him only a few minutes to turn some nuts and he charged me twenty ringgit Malaysia." The man complained to his friend.
"But that is cheap, my friend, considering that you have been to two mechanics who have changed your plugs and done a number of changes to your wiring without any satisfactory improvement or end to your problem. Do you realise that you have already spent forty ringgit without any solution to your problem? If you had not met this mechanic, it could cost you even more money and time to overcome the problem. So, be glad that someone had managed to do it." His friend's words sank in and he was aware that it was worth the money after all. Not every mechanic has the knowledge this one has. And it is the knowledge and experience in a mechanic that makes the difference.
How much is knowledge worth to you? Without knowledge, would all your problems be solved? Would all the inventions and facilities which makes life easy for us be available?
All knowledge is important. Without the knowledge on electricity, there could have been no electrical appliances invention. It all started with a basic knowledge which enables understanding and this leads to greater knowledge. That is why education is the most important factor in the success and progress of mankind. Without education, there is less opportunity to gain more knowledge. Being able to speak in more languages, we can reach out to foreigners or places afar for their latest knowledge throught the phone perhaps. Being able to write, we can request for written information which is better than a spoken one as there can be less misunderstanding and wrong reception of the spoken message. When we can read, knowledge through the experience of others can be obtained easily through the internet or any written media.
However, often we think we ought to pay for greater effort or more work or for longer hours. We forget a knowledgeable man would be able to accomplish something faster and with less effort than one who experiments around, changing almost everything to solve a mechanical problem. But we do not understand that with knowledge, the man who solves our problem with less effort and less time has actually saved us a lot of our precious time. time is truly precious and is certainly more valuable than the amount we have to foot out for good knowledge.
"But that is cheap, my friend, considering that you have been to two mechanics who have changed your plugs and done a number of changes to your wiring without any satisfactory improvement or end to your problem. Do you realise that you have already spent forty ringgit without any solution to your problem? If you had not met this mechanic, it could cost you even more money and time to overcome the problem. So, be glad that someone had managed to do it." His friend's words sank in and he was aware that it was worth the money after all. Not every mechanic has the knowledge this one has. And it is the knowledge and experience in a mechanic that makes the difference.
How much is knowledge worth to you? Without knowledge, would all your problems be solved? Would all the inventions and facilities which makes life easy for us be available?
All knowledge is important. Without the knowledge on electricity, there could have been no electrical appliances invention. It all started with a basic knowledge which enables understanding and this leads to greater knowledge. That is why education is the most important factor in the success and progress of mankind. Without education, there is less opportunity to gain more knowledge. Being able to speak in more languages, we can reach out to foreigners or places afar for their latest knowledge throught the phone perhaps. Being able to write, we can request for written information which is better than a spoken one as there can be less misunderstanding and wrong reception of the spoken message. When we can read, knowledge through the experience of others can be obtained easily through the internet or any written media.
However, often we think we ought to pay for greater effort or more work or for longer hours. We forget a knowledgeable man would be able to accomplish something faster and with less effort than one who experiments around, changing almost everything to solve a mechanical problem. But we do not understand that with knowledge, the man who solves our problem with less effort and less time has actually saved us a lot of our precious time. time is truly precious and is certainly more valuable than the amount we have to foot out for good knowledge.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
How good is our self control?
A few days ago there was this news report in Malaysia concerning a rich director of a City Council owning a low cost apartment. And low cost apartments are subsidised apartments built to help the poor families who have a total income of less than RM2,500.00. Looks like she is not the only one as there are, according to her, other directors and assistant directors who own such low cost apartments.
According to the report, these rich, not eligible, low cost apartment owners pay installments of RM300 plus for the apartments which they rent out to the poor for about RM500. If that is not blood-sucking, then what is?
When asked why she bought what she was not eligible for, she said that many high-income people, directors and assistant directors, are also in possession of such low cost apartments. I have heard of 'Might making it right' but here there is this 'Numbers make it right.' So, as thieves increase in number, more will find it easier in their conscience to become thieves. Similarly, when more and more politicians get away with corruption, people will tend to become corrupted. Well, I must admit that there is some truth in the saying. Thus, if we live among thieves, we may even eventually take pride in being a competent thief.
Then again, there was this excuse that there was a policy allowing her and other staff of the City Council to own the low cost apartments. And the policy has yet to be seen. Even if there was such a policy, who had authorised it? Was that not an abuse of power, an act of corruption?
And it was not because there were no poor Malaysians who refused the low cost apartments. In fact, squatters and the poor had applied for them as they were eligible, been interviewed but were not given the low cost units. So, if there was a policy to approve and let rich people get the low cost units which were built to help the poor own homes, that policy took away opportunities for the poor to own homes and, since rental of such units exceed the installments for the units, enrich the rich.
And to make such rich people eligible for the less than RM2,500 income condition for application of such apartments, they said they have only less than RM2,500 after paying for their properties, their maids, their children's schooling and other expenses. Poor them! Imagine having less than RM2,500 after all those deductions. How can we expect them to survive on such meagre savings? Of course, they need other sources of income and milking the poor is just one of the available sources.
The surprising fact is that our Anti-Corruption body does not seem to act fast although it is obvious that something is very wrong. Nobody has been summoned for questioning. So, can we blame the citizens for feeling that the anti-corruption only acts when told to do so. And let us not hear that they are not aware when everyone in Malaysia is talking about it.
According to the report, these rich, not eligible, low cost apartment owners pay installments of RM300 plus for the apartments which they rent out to the poor for about RM500. If that is not blood-sucking, then what is?
When asked why she bought what she was not eligible for, she said that many high-income people, directors and assistant directors, are also in possession of such low cost apartments. I have heard of 'Might making it right' but here there is this 'Numbers make it right.' So, as thieves increase in number, more will find it easier in their conscience to become thieves. Similarly, when more and more politicians get away with corruption, people will tend to become corrupted. Well, I must admit that there is some truth in the saying. Thus, if we live among thieves, we may even eventually take pride in being a competent thief.
Then again, there was this excuse that there was a policy allowing her and other staff of the City Council to own the low cost apartments. And the policy has yet to be seen. Even if there was such a policy, who had authorised it? Was that not an abuse of power, an act of corruption?
And it was not because there were no poor Malaysians who refused the low cost apartments. In fact, squatters and the poor had applied for them as they were eligible, been interviewed but were not given the low cost units. So, if there was a policy to approve and let rich people get the low cost units which were built to help the poor own homes, that policy took away opportunities for the poor to own homes and, since rental of such units exceed the installments for the units, enrich the rich.
And to make such rich people eligible for the less than RM2,500 income condition for application of such apartments, they said they have only less than RM2,500 after paying for their properties, their maids, their children's schooling and other expenses. Poor them! Imagine having less than RM2,500 after all those deductions. How can we expect them to survive on such meagre savings? Of course, they need other sources of income and milking the poor is just one of the available sources.
The surprising fact is that our Anti-Corruption body does not seem to act fast although it is obvious that something is very wrong. Nobody has been summoned for questioning. So, can we blame the citizens for feeling that the anti-corruption only acts when told to do so. And let us not hear that they are not aware when everyone in Malaysia is talking about it.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
How often does a gambling path lead to happiness?
If you do it, there is hope. Easy money is what people always hope for when they gamble. You have heard of people striking it rich with some kind of gamble and it does happen to one in a billion people. (In an earlier post, I had written about a man from Kodiang, Kedah who struck it rich in a draw and lost everything in less than a year.) Of course, everyone hopes he/she would be the lucky one to win. Not just win but change forever and get to move into the path of wealth.
One of my relatives is very fond of betting on certain numbers being drawn to win. She has won small amounts once in a long while. I believe she has lost more than what she had won. Once when she cried out in disappointment at not having got the winning numbers, I told her that if she were to keep all the money she had placed on those bets in a box, she could take that accumulated sum out after a year and it would be similar to having some prize money once a year. Unfortunately, of course, there was no thrill, no flow of adrenaline which betting and the expectation of a win could give.
Fortunately, when bets are small, the lost would be minimal and so could not only cause no harm but provide some excitement. However, there are gamblers who play big stakes with money they could not afford to lose. Of course, most of them do lose and they have to turn to money-lenders to hide the cost of their gambling habit from other members of their family or to enable them to survive.
Some of the gamblers are women and gambling women are the worst as in their weakness, unlike the men, they have something they can sell for money. Yes, there have been women who gave sex in exchange for cancellation of debts when the sum owed exceeded a certain amount. They resort to such ways to sustain their gambling habit.
One thing leads to another and soon either they suffer from some kind of unspeakable disease or their self esteem deteriorates together with their reputation and respect.
That does mean the gambling men escape from problems. When money is owed, lenders will use all means to get what is owed. Those gambling men and their family members could be threatened with harm until such money is recovered. The gamblers might flee the scene leaving other family members to endure the wrath of the money lenders. Imagine the amount of problems that gambling could bring.
Surely, we realise the risks of lost is greater than gain in any gambling. If the ordinary men can win at gambling who would spend a fortune building casinos for them to withdraw money from?
One of my relatives is very fond of betting on certain numbers being drawn to win. She has won small amounts once in a long while. I believe she has lost more than what she had won. Once when she cried out in disappointment at not having got the winning numbers, I told her that if she were to keep all the money she had placed on those bets in a box, she could take that accumulated sum out after a year and it would be similar to having some prize money once a year. Unfortunately, of course, there was no thrill, no flow of adrenaline which betting and the expectation of a win could give.
Fortunately, when bets are small, the lost would be minimal and so could not only cause no harm but provide some excitement. However, there are gamblers who play big stakes with money they could not afford to lose. Of course, most of them do lose and they have to turn to money-lenders to hide the cost of their gambling habit from other members of their family or to enable them to survive.
Some of the gamblers are women and gambling women are the worst as in their weakness, unlike the men, they have something they can sell for money. Yes, there have been women who gave sex in exchange for cancellation of debts when the sum owed exceeded a certain amount. They resort to such ways to sustain their gambling habit.
One thing leads to another and soon either they suffer from some kind of unspeakable disease or their self esteem deteriorates together with their reputation and respect.
That does mean the gambling men escape from problems. When money is owed, lenders will use all means to get what is owed. Those gambling men and their family members could be threatened with harm until such money is recovered. The gamblers might flee the scene leaving other family members to endure the wrath of the money lenders. Imagine the amount of problems that gambling could bring.
Surely, we realise the risks of lost is greater than gain in any gambling. If the ordinary men can win at gambling who would spend a fortune building casinos for them to withdraw money from?
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Where is our country heading to?
Sometimes the most unexpected things happen. you would think that in an adult world, there must be sufficient maturity and good sense to elect leaders who can be highly respected wherever his/her name is mentioned.
Lately, we have read of one politician in Malacca who was elected despite his being found guilty of corruption. So, what do we have? Where are we going to hide our shame each time someone points out that we have a corrupted leader?
Recently a political party's delegates were unperturbed to elect a person who had admitted to a sexual scandal as the top leader of the party. What is our criteria of a truly respectable leader? Would a man who had succumbed to temptations at the expense of his own wife think twice about the party he heads should an even more attractive temptation be placed before him?
Besides the leaders mentioned there have been happenings which point to the decay that is bringing our country down to a depth most improbable when we know that our country, Malaysia, is one of those most fortunate countries to possess so much natural resources and wealth.
We have scandal after scandal. We read of a horrible murder which is still discussed among the citizens in which explosives from the army that would certainly be not so easily available, had been used. We read of missing airplane engines being transported out of a well-guarded army camp to be sold to another country. Yet, those caught were of the lower ranks. If such lower ranking officers have such brains to smuggle out plane engines not just out of an army camp but also out of the country, then they ought to be given higher commanding posts to hold. We have controversies in medical autopsies on people who had died in custody. We have a court appeal by one political party made so fast while the other party's appeal took a few months. All these are so clearly unjust that the attention of most of the citizens are drawn to its unfairness. We also have the PKNZ in Port Klang, a project in which, according to reports, there has been obvious corruption. This corruption had been exposed by the ousted top leader of the political party which had replaced him with a tainted leader in an election.
With the bold leader defeated, will the PKNZ corruption case continue to be investigated? Will there be a cover up? Will big fishes in the corruption case escape? Well, we have to wait and see. with hindsight, we will be able to understand why certain quarters were so determined to have the election to topple the man who could have brought dignity back to the party.
The picture I paint is not pretty or bright. But then, unless we know the darkness, we may not be able to appreciate the light. No matter what, we know that after the night, dark, mysterious and unfathomable it may be, comes the light to show us the way forward, bringing forth new hope in the future. The knowledge of the night can help us find the right path forward, hopefully.
Lately, we have read of one politician in Malacca who was elected despite his being found guilty of corruption. So, what do we have? Where are we going to hide our shame each time someone points out that we have a corrupted leader?
Recently a political party's delegates were unperturbed to elect a person who had admitted to a sexual scandal as the top leader of the party. What is our criteria of a truly respectable leader? Would a man who had succumbed to temptations at the expense of his own wife think twice about the party he heads should an even more attractive temptation be placed before him?
Besides the leaders mentioned there have been happenings which point to the decay that is bringing our country down to a depth most improbable when we know that our country, Malaysia, is one of those most fortunate countries to possess so much natural resources and wealth.
We have scandal after scandal. We read of a horrible murder which is still discussed among the citizens in which explosives from the army that would certainly be not so easily available, had been used. We read of missing airplane engines being transported out of a well-guarded army camp to be sold to another country. Yet, those caught were of the lower ranks. If such lower ranking officers have such brains to smuggle out plane engines not just out of an army camp but also out of the country, then they ought to be given higher commanding posts to hold. We have controversies in medical autopsies on people who had died in custody. We have a court appeal by one political party made so fast while the other party's appeal took a few months. All these are so clearly unjust that the attention of most of the citizens are drawn to its unfairness. We also have the PKNZ in Port Klang, a project in which, according to reports, there has been obvious corruption. This corruption had been exposed by the ousted top leader of the political party which had replaced him with a tainted leader in an election.
With the bold leader defeated, will the PKNZ corruption case continue to be investigated? Will there be a cover up? Will big fishes in the corruption case escape? Well, we have to wait and see. with hindsight, we will be able to understand why certain quarters were so determined to have the election to topple the man who could have brought dignity back to the party.
The picture I paint is not pretty or bright. But then, unless we know the darkness, we may not be able to appreciate the light. No matter what, we know that after the night, dark, mysterious and unfathomable it may be, comes the light to show us the way forward, bringing forth new hope in the future. The knowledge of the night can help us find the right path forward, hopefully.
Friday, February 05, 2010
Is it all in the mind?
There was a time when I taught at a school in Kodiang, Kedah, where the food in the canteen was really tasty, especially a meaty soup which we could use with noodles or bread.
All the teachers enjoyed that soup and so, each day, most of us ordered that to go along with other types of food.
There was this teacher who enjoyed the soup just as much as anyone of us for a number of years. Then, one day, as we were talking, the subject of allergy cropped up. I told them about my allergy with beer and other alcoholic drinks. This teacher talked about his allergy towards beef. Well, it is understandable that a Buddhist would not take beef, whether he is allergic to it of not. However, this Chinese man claimed he could not consume beef because he was allergic to it, not for religious reasons.
He told the group of teachers there that he would throw up each time he ate beef. The discomfort and reactions to the meat was so bad that he had no alternative but to forgo eating such meat. Well and good, as no one can deny that would be the best move to make under such circumstances.
Then, just as we continued slurping our soup, one of the other teachers spoke up, "Hey, Ah B, do you know what you are taking?"
Ah B turned towards him and replied, "Soup. What else?"
"Do you know what Ah Kau Shou put into that soup, ahh?"
"Don't know but it certainly taste fabulous."
Another teacher turned his head towards the kitchen, saw Ah Kau Sou, the canteen lady and shouted towards her direction, "Kau Sou ahh, what do you put into that soup of yours?"
The canteen lady looked puzzled a moment, smiled and replied, "Don;t worry. It's just spices, bean curd and beef ribs."
Everyone turned his or her face towards Ah B. The guy stopped taking the soup all of a sudden and turned to Ah Kau Sou for confirmation, "Are you sure, Ah Kau Sou?"
"Of course! Why? What's the matter? You think I don't even know what I put into my soup, ahh? Don't worry, lah. It's good meat from the butcher."
Ah B suddenly stood up, he face pale and he claimed he felt like vomitting. He quickly disappeared from the canteen in the direction of the toilet.
After he had gone, the group was quiet for a while. The question on everyone's lips was, "How's it possible? He has been enjoying that soup all these years without any side effect until today."
Since, no allergic effect took place without the mind receiving the knowledge that beef was in that soup for so many years, could it be all in the mind? The urge to vomit only took place when the mind received the information that beef had been consumed. Was it truly an allergy or was it a preconditioning of the mind and its reactions by the parents or someone else earlier in Ah B's life?
If we take a good look at some of the feelings and attitudes of people, we discover that some of these feelings are due to religious or cultural teachings. Some people in our society have been preconditioned to love, hate, like, dislike, incline or disincline towards all things and people.
Religions sometimes do that. They do it for various reasons. Hindus and Buddhist are taught not to eat beef while the Muslim have a distaste for pork. Similarly, a dislike for dogs exist among some Muslims.
Other factors other than religion, culture and parents could possibly be contributed through superstition or unfortunate experiences. Such traumatic experiences could cause fears and dislike for things and people.
Thus, it is important to try and understand others, to allow other to act according to their needs, empathise with others the fears and dislikes or whatever which we ourselves may find hard to comprehend.
Of course, many things are not easy to understand as we do not have the same experience that could have cause the other's behaviour. The behaviour comes about through the mind interpretation of the incidents in one's life. Well, sometimes, it is all in the mind. The mind and its thoughts made things real.
We may ridicule ah B's sudden allergic reaction but we ought to understand that for Ah B, the thoughts in his mind made all that happened real. And this understanding is necessary as it can happen to any one of us unless we control our thoughts.
All the teachers enjoyed that soup and so, each day, most of us ordered that to go along with other types of food.
There was this teacher who enjoyed the soup just as much as anyone of us for a number of years. Then, one day, as we were talking, the subject of allergy cropped up. I told them about my allergy with beer and other alcoholic drinks. This teacher talked about his allergy towards beef. Well, it is understandable that a Buddhist would not take beef, whether he is allergic to it of not. However, this Chinese man claimed he could not consume beef because he was allergic to it, not for religious reasons.
He told the group of teachers there that he would throw up each time he ate beef. The discomfort and reactions to the meat was so bad that he had no alternative but to forgo eating such meat. Well and good, as no one can deny that would be the best move to make under such circumstances.
Then, just as we continued slurping our soup, one of the other teachers spoke up, "Hey, Ah B, do you know what you are taking?"
Ah B turned towards him and replied, "Soup. What else?"
"Do you know what Ah Kau Shou put into that soup, ahh?"
"Don't know but it certainly taste fabulous."
Another teacher turned his head towards the kitchen, saw Ah Kau Sou, the canteen lady and shouted towards her direction, "Kau Sou ahh, what do you put into that soup of yours?"
The canteen lady looked puzzled a moment, smiled and replied, "Don;t worry. It's just spices, bean curd and beef ribs."
Everyone turned his or her face towards Ah B. The guy stopped taking the soup all of a sudden and turned to Ah Kau Sou for confirmation, "Are you sure, Ah Kau Sou?"
"Of course! Why? What's the matter? You think I don't even know what I put into my soup, ahh? Don't worry, lah. It's good meat from the butcher."
Ah B suddenly stood up, he face pale and he claimed he felt like vomitting. He quickly disappeared from the canteen in the direction of the toilet.
After he had gone, the group was quiet for a while. The question on everyone's lips was, "How's it possible? He has been enjoying that soup all these years without any side effect until today."
Since, no allergic effect took place without the mind receiving the knowledge that beef was in that soup for so many years, could it be all in the mind? The urge to vomit only took place when the mind received the information that beef had been consumed. Was it truly an allergy or was it a preconditioning of the mind and its reactions by the parents or someone else earlier in Ah B's life?
If we take a good look at some of the feelings and attitudes of people, we discover that some of these feelings are due to religious or cultural teachings. Some people in our society have been preconditioned to love, hate, like, dislike, incline or disincline towards all things and people.
Religions sometimes do that. They do it for various reasons. Hindus and Buddhist are taught not to eat beef while the Muslim have a distaste for pork. Similarly, a dislike for dogs exist among some Muslims.
Other factors other than religion, culture and parents could possibly be contributed through superstition or unfortunate experiences. Such traumatic experiences could cause fears and dislike for things and people.
Thus, it is important to try and understand others, to allow other to act according to their needs, empathise with others the fears and dislikes or whatever which we ourselves may find hard to comprehend.
Of course, many things are not easy to understand as we do not have the same experience that could have cause the other's behaviour. The behaviour comes about through the mind interpretation of the incidents in one's life. Well, sometimes, it is all in the mind. The mind and its thoughts made things real.
We may ridicule ah B's sudden allergic reaction but we ought to understand that for Ah B, the thoughts in his mind made all that happened real. And this understanding is necessary as it can happen to any one of us unless we control our thoughts.
Be alert when withdrawing money from ATM.
Nowadays, there are so many people out there waiting to grab some of your money one way or the other. There are emails informing you of the good fortune of winning some lottery that you have never entered for. Then, there's the poor lady who needs a little financial help to get her million dollar inheritance out of the bank. There is this guy with a fantastic money-earning business that needs you as a partner. What a huge load of good luck on the internet; money waiting for us to have.
Sorry, the luck is not ours. It's theirs. Money waiting for those unscrupulous ones hoping to find easy money from people among us who greedily hope to get easy money from unheard of sources.
If such tactics on the internet no longer work well, there are still other ways to get your money. And those guys are brainy with lots of ideas as you can see from the true story below. And they prove they can work as a team too! The only thing is that they use their intelligence wrongly, right for them but wrong for us, anyway. Well, those guys could hold a seminar on 'How to get a million ringgit a month with no sweat.' and charge each entry a thousand ringgit. Who knows? One day, they may do just that and the police will be after me for giving them that idea.
Well, here's the true story from one guy. To be forewarned is to be forearmed. Read on and know what can possibly happen.
--------------------------------------------------
High Alert when you withdraw money from an ATM.
Please share.
This afternoon around 5:30pm I was at Queensbay Mall Penang, doing some financial payments (credit card, mobile and etc). I went to the 1st floor Maybank ATM to withdraw some money.
As the ATM was finalising my payment, someone tapped me on the shoulder. Naturally I turned around, and there was this stocky Middle Eastern man (around 5ft 2in, fair complexion), pointing to some money on the floor (around RM30plus, there were three 10 ringgits and several 1 ringgit notes).
He said "I saw you drop your money just now". Coincidentally, today, I had some bundled spare notes in my shirt pocket. So I picked up the ringgits on the floor.
Suddenly, a lady, also of Middle Eastern descent - shoulder length curly hair, fair complexion, 5ft 3in, said to me " It's my money!" Then the man told her " No, I saw him dropping it - while pointing to me". Instantly I checked my shirt pocket with a quick glance and I felt and saw that my bundle of spare notes was intact. Without any hesitation, I passed the money to the lady and said "It's your money, not mine."
Within a split second, I turned back to the ATM and saw a male person's hand (did not see the face) reaching for my ATM card that the machine automatically returned upon finishing a transaction. Out of natural instinct, I slapped on the wrist of the person's hand that was trying to take my ATM card.
And the person quickly walked off. I did not have a chance to look at the face as I was waiting for the ATM to dispense my RM1500.
All this happened within 2 to 3 seconds. When I finally got my cash and turned around, the Middle Eastern man and woman had disappeared, including the taller male person who was trying to take my ATM card and, most probably, my cash. I quickly went down the escalator to see where they had gone, I managed to catch a glimpse of the Middle Eastern lady as she was going down the escalator but, soon, she also quickly vanished from my sight.
If I had been slightly doubtful of my own cash in my shirt pocket or had been greedy, I would most likely had my RM1500 stolen. The Middle Eastern man's and lady's job was to create a diversion and confusion, while another person's intention was to snatch my ATM card and cash out of the machine while I was not looking.
This could happen in any mall and, at the time, there were some people withdrawing from a few other machines as well. So it was not a totally secluded area. I firmly believe they are not the only group in Penang or Malaysia.
Points to be remember to remain on high alert:
1. If somebody taps your shoulder while you are withdrawing from an ATM, make sure
you are mindful of your surroundings and focus especially on taking your money
first.
2. Their usual trick is to create a diversion. So, focus on what you are doing.
3. It is best is to have a friend with you when you go to an ATM.
Please let everyone you know about this incident. Especially now when it is so near the festive seasons. They are preying on your bonus and salary! So, beware!
Sorry, the luck is not ours. It's theirs. Money waiting for those unscrupulous ones hoping to find easy money from people among us who greedily hope to get easy money from unheard of sources.
If such tactics on the internet no longer work well, there are still other ways to get your money. And those guys are brainy with lots of ideas as you can see from the true story below. And they prove they can work as a team too! The only thing is that they use their intelligence wrongly, right for them but wrong for us, anyway. Well, those guys could hold a seminar on 'How to get a million ringgit a month with no sweat.' and charge each entry a thousand ringgit. Who knows? One day, they may do just that and the police will be after me for giving them that idea.
Well, here's the true story from one guy. To be forewarned is to be forearmed. Read on and know what can possibly happen.
--------------------------------------------------
High Alert when you withdraw money from an ATM.
Please share.
This afternoon around 5:30pm I was at Queensbay Mall Penang, doing some financial payments (credit card, mobile and etc). I went to the 1st floor Maybank ATM to withdraw some money.
As the ATM was finalising my payment, someone tapped me on the shoulder. Naturally I turned around, and there was this stocky Middle Eastern man (around 5ft 2in, fair complexion), pointing to some money on the floor (around RM30plus, there were three 10 ringgits and several 1 ringgit notes).
He said "I saw you drop your money just now". Coincidentally, today, I had some bundled spare notes in my shirt pocket. So I picked up the ringgits on the floor.
Suddenly, a lady, also of Middle Eastern descent - shoulder length curly hair, fair complexion, 5ft 3in, said to me " It's my money!" Then the man told her " No, I saw him dropping it - while pointing to me". Instantly I checked my shirt pocket with a quick glance and I felt and saw that my bundle of spare notes was intact. Without any hesitation, I passed the money to the lady and said "It's your money, not mine."
Within a split second, I turned back to the ATM and saw a male person's hand (did not see the face) reaching for my ATM card that the machine automatically returned upon finishing a transaction. Out of natural instinct, I slapped on the wrist of the person's hand that was trying to take my ATM card.
And the person quickly walked off. I did not have a chance to look at the face as I was waiting for the ATM to dispense my RM1500.
All this happened within 2 to 3 seconds. When I finally got my cash and turned around, the Middle Eastern man and woman had disappeared, including the taller male person who was trying to take my ATM card and, most probably, my cash. I quickly went down the escalator to see where they had gone, I managed to catch a glimpse of the Middle Eastern lady as she was going down the escalator but, soon, she also quickly vanished from my sight.
If I had been slightly doubtful of my own cash in my shirt pocket or had been greedy, I would most likely had my RM1500 stolen. The Middle Eastern man's and lady's job was to create a diversion and confusion, while another person's intention was to snatch my ATM card and cash out of the machine while I was not looking.
This could happen in any mall and, at the time, there were some people withdrawing from a few other machines as well. So it was not a totally secluded area. I firmly believe they are not the only group in Penang or Malaysia.
Points to be remember to remain on high alert:
1. If somebody taps your shoulder while you are withdrawing from an ATM, make sure
you are mindful of your surroundings and focus especially on taking your money
first.
2. Their usual trick is to create a diversion. So, focus on what you are doing.
3. It is best is to have a friend with you when you go to an ATM.
Please let everyone you know about this incident. Especially now when it is so near the festive seasons. They are preying on your bonus and salary! So, beware!
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
However, we need the ego to improve ourselves.
In my previous postings, I have told of the times I fell or crashed while on my motorcycle and it was all because of my strong ego. I was the one. I am still the one. To show the world how good I was, be it on a motorbike or a tall tree, my ego was willing to risk my neck and my life.
There were also the times I almost got into deep trouble, like the time when I had an encounter with the gangsters. Fortunately, I had my strength and courage to support my ego.
True, ego can bring us problems and misunderstandings. However, it is also important to have an ego. Without the ego, none of us would ever be anything. Without the ego, there would not have been any pride. Without pride in oneself, we would not desire to be the best in whatever we do. Without the ego, we would not bother to overcome obstacles and prove to ourselves that we are just as good as any other. Without my ego, there would not be me; Ong Ai Wei would not be the adventurous, hardworking, caring, loving guy who is always game enough to face whatever challenges life throws at him. Those who know me would know this to be true while those who doubt this cannot have known me well enough. See, how egoistic I can be. And I believe it is good as without it, I would not still be striving to be the best at my age.
Looking back, I was an excellent teacher, having all, with not even one failure, my art and craft students pass the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia art and craft paper every year. Though I did not get 100% passes in the SPM English paper, the percentage during all those years was something I could be proud of. And when it came to gymnastics, during the late sixties and early seventies, my first school team, the St. Michaels Secondary School team from Alor Star was the champion in Kedah state every year I was their coach. When it came to Sekolah Menengah Tengku Ismail from which I retired, the team was constantly in the first or second placing in the state.
All my efforts and training were powered by my ego.
I am what I am today because of my ego. Without my ego and self-esteem, I would not have stayed the course which was full of obstacles and pain.
So, although we have to beware of the problems our ego may lead us to, we should also let the ego power us to the greater things all of us are capable of as we remove all boundaries that may hinder our direction to better things to come. What I have in mind is control and guidance of the ego towards the right direction, the right path through right decisions.
There were also the times I almost got into deep trouble, like the time when I had an encounter with the gangsters. Fortunately, I had my strength and courage to support my ego.
True, ego can bring us problems and misunderstandings. However, it is also important to have an ego. Without the ego, none of us would ever be anything. Without the ego, there would not have been any pride. Without pride in oneself, we would not desire to be the best in whatever we do. Without the ego, we would not bother to overcome obstacles and prove to ourselves that we are just as good as any other. Without my ego, there would not be me; Ong Ai Wei would not be the adventurous, hardworking, caring, loving guy who is always game enough to face whatever challenges life throws at him. Those who know me would know this to be true while those who doubt this cannot have known me well enough. See, how egoistic I can be. And I believe it is good as without it, I would not still be striving to be the best at my age.
Looking back, I was an excellent teacher, having all, with not even one failure, my art and craft students pass the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia art and craft paper every year. Though I did not get 100% passes in the SPM English paper, the percentage during all those years was something I could be proud of. And when it came to gymnastics, during the late sixties and early seventies, my first school team, the St. Michaels Secondary School team from Alor Star was the champion in Kedah state every year I was their coach. When it came to Sekolah Menengah Tengku Ismail from which I retired, the team was constantly in the first or second placing in the state.
All my efforts and training were powered by my ego.
I am what I am today because of my ego. Without my ego and self-esteem, I would not have stayed the course which was full of obstacles and pain.
So, although we have to beware of the problems our ego may lead us to, we should also let the ego power us to the greater things all of us are capable of as we remove all boundaries that may hinder our direction to better things to come. What I have in mind is control and guidance of the ego towards the right direction, the right path through right decisions.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The craze for power.
Each day, we read in newspapers of people being killed. We often say that life is constantly changing. Yet, what is the difference between our fore-fathers’ time and the so-called civilized twenty-first century? In terms of violence and death, there is not much difference.There are still many people being killed. There is still a lot of violence, maybe more.
Do we not have governmental bodies to organize law enforcement? Do we not have armies to protect our country? Do we not have a United Nations to safe-guard the world?
Yes, we do. But we still have countries waging war on others. We still have terrorists and pirates to kill and plunder. We still have people ready to murder for one reason or another. So, how effective are our organized bodies?
We have religions to teach the people love for God. We have them understand that all creatures, big and small are the creations of God. We are all one big family, people of God. To show one’s love of God, there should be a healthy respect for God’s creations. Yet, each day, we read that somewhere on this planet someone is being killed in the name of God.
Schools, colleges and universities are built to install the best brains of all possible subjects so as to spread knowledge. Through this knowledge, we hope to develop better understanding of life on this planet. Yet, some of the men of violence come from such institutions.
So, where have we gone wrong? Yes, we have done everything possible to make this world a better place but we have not changed the instincts of Man. Inside every human, educated or otherwise, lies the desire for power.
To be powerful, Man needs to lead by good or foul means. It does not matter which , to some. So, there are those who become political leaders while there are some who become gang leaders. One uses brains while the other uses brawn. To hold on to leadership we see how such leaders can resort to all kinds of tactics to kill off the opposition in other parties or in the same party. In certain countries, we read of supporters of opposition leaders being killed with guns. This happens in gangs too. Leaders are killed so that another may take his place. And if the plot is exposed earlier, the aspiring gangster and his supporters could be killed to prevent power from being lost by the reigning gangster.
Sometimes, leaders of certain countries decide to wage war to achieve a particular objective which could be popularity among his people. Such a decision could also be due to a need to prevent an erosion of his power.
Nowadays, religion has been used as a tool to gain power in certain regions or the world. Since fighting for such kind of power is difficult to be done in the open, we have terrorists who kill sometimes innocent people, and even people who are of the same religion as the terrorists, just to achieve popularity and power in their groups.
Even the small man or woman desires power. Such demonstration of these people’s need for people manifests itself in road terrorism and road bullying.
Of course, when it comes to bullying, this starts at a very young age. The stronger ones bully the weaker ones at home among the siblings, then at school and eventually in the workplace or in society. So, this trait of power exhibits itself early in life. It is not that the weaker ones are too good to resort to such behavior; it is just that they know they dio not have the brawn to dominate others.
Well, this instinct to dominate, to have power over others starts from young and continue to exhibit itself in one way or another throughout life whenever the opportunity to do so arises. And all our problems come from this human instinct which is also very essential for survival.
Is there anything else anyone wishes to add to the above. I’ll appreciate it very much if you can do so.
Do we not have governmental bodies to organize law enforcement? Do we not have armies to protect our country? Do we not have a United Nations to safe-guard the world?
Yes, we do. But we still have countries waging war on others. We still have terrorists and pirates to kill and plunder. We still have people ready to murder for one reason or another. So, how effective are our organized bodies?
We have religions to teach the people love for God. We have them understand that all creatures, big and small are the creations of God. We are all one big family, people of God. To show one’s love of God, there should be a healthy respect for God’s creations. Yet, each day, we read that somewhere on this planet someone is being killed in the name of God.
Schools, colleges and universities are built to install the best brains of all possible subjects so as to spread knowledge. Through this knowledge, we hope to develop better understanding of life on this planet. Yet, some of the men of violence come from such institutions.
So, where have we gone wrong? Yes, we have done everything possible to make this world a better place but we have not changed the instincts of Man. Inside every human, educated or otherwise, lies the desire for power.
To be powerful, Man needs to lead by good or foul means. It does not matter which , to some. So, there are those who become political leaders while there are some who become gang leaders. One uses brains while the other uses brawn. To hold on to leadership we see how such leaders can resort to all kinds of tactics to kill off the opposition in other parties or in the same party. In certain countries, we read of supporters of opposition leaders being killed with guns. This happens in gangs too. Leaders are killed so that another may take his place. And if the plot is exposed earlier, the aspiring gangster and his supporters could be killed to prevent power from being lost by the reigning gangster.
Sometimes, leaders of certain countries decide to wage war to achieve a particular objective which could be popularity among his people. Such a decision could also be due to a need to prevent an erosion of his power.
Nowadays, religion has been used as a tool to gain power in certain regions or the world. Since fighting for such kind of power is difficult to be done in the open, we have terrorists who kill sometimes innocent people, and even people who are of the same religion as the terrorists, just to achieve popularity and power in their groups.
Even the small man or woman desires power. Such demonstration of these people’s need for people manifests itself in road terrorism and road bullying.
Of course, when it comes to bullying, this starts at a very young age. The stronger ones bully the weaker ones at home among the siblings, then at school and eventually in the workplace or in society. So, this trait of power exhibits itself early in life. It is not that the weaker ones are too good to resort to such behavior; it is just that they know they dio not have the brawn to dominate others.
Well, this instinct to dominate, to have power over others starts from young and continue to exhibit itself in one way or another throughout life whenever the opportunity to do so arises. And all our problems come from this human instinct which is also very essential for survival.
Is there anything else anyone wishes to add to the above. I’ll appreciate it very much if you can do so.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The need for bonding:without it what's the point of ....?
Humans need food for energy and development of the body, exercise to strengthen it and rest for growth, regeneration and recuperation. In an earlier posting we have seen how the lost of parents leads to brain disturbances. Let us examine our physical needs too and how it can also lead to emotional imbalance.
There are parents, in pursuit of money, forget that children not only need food, exercise and rest. Children as well as adults need bonding. They need to be close with their parents and friends. Such closeness can be established through being with them, communicating with each other and expression of love through touch and hugs.
There was a reckless child I knew, who could not care less what happened to him. He would run all over, mixing with whoever is willing to allow him to join in and engaging in harmful activities. As his teacher, I advised him to care for himself more, but his reply was: ‘Who cares? Even my parents do not bother.’ His self-esteem was obviously low.
Through investigation as his disciplinarian in his school, I discovered that both parents were busy working. Early in the morning he went to school before his parents were awake. He did not see his parents throughout the day. He hunted for his own food with money supplied by them. By the time they returned home, he was usually already in bed. When I managed to see one of the parents in her working place and told her about his involvement in certain undesirable activities, she claimed he never went out for such things. According to her, despite her absence in her own house for most of the day, she insisted her son stayed at home throughout the day. She refused to face the truth!
Of course, when one courts trouble, trouble is bound to follow. The parents, one day, found policemen at their doorstep with the sad news. Gone, for the child, were some of the opportunities which could have been his.
This one weakness caused the child so much loss. It also got the family to feel guilty, to blame each other and brought disharmony into the family.
This is a problem we can prevent. In fact, we must prevent this from happening!
There are parents, in pursuit of money, forget that children not only need food, exercise and rest. Children as well as adults need bonding. They need to be close with their parents and friends. Such closeness can be established through being with them, communicating with each other and expression of love through touch and hugs.
There was a reckless child I knew, who could not care less what happened to him. He would run all over, mixing with whoever is willing to allow him to join in and engaging in harmful activities. As his teacher, I advised him to care for himself more, but his reply was: ‘Who cares? Even my parents do not bother.’ His self-esteem was obviously low.
Through investigation as his disciplinarian in his school, I discovered that both parents were busy working. Early in the morning he went to school before his parents were awake. He did not see his parents throughout the day. He hunted for his own food with money supplied by them. By the time they returned home, he was usually already in bed. When I managed to see one of the parents in her working place and told her about his involvement in certain undesirable activities, she claimed he never went out for such things. According to her, despite her absence in her own house for most of the day, she insisted her son stayed at home throughout the day. She refused to face the truth!
Of course, when one courts trouble, trouble is bound to follow. The parents, one day, found policemen at their doorstep with the sad news. Gone, for the child, were some of the opportunities which could have been his.
This one weakness caused the child so much loss. It also got the family to feel guilty, to blame each other and brought disharmony into the family.
This is a problem we can prevent. In fact, we must prevent this from happening!
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