A choice of attitude.

This morning, this lady told me, "Oh, no! Time goes by too fast. Today is another working day and there's so much to do."

Thus, she faced another day with dread, knowing that work awaited her. She was, of course, not too happy with having to wake up early, to rush for her transport to take her to work and the fact that she would have to perform some kind of task before returning home tired in the evening.

As for me, I awaken each morning at 5.30 am to get myself ready for a hike up the Semarak Hill with the expectant joy of cool, fresh air and lovely scenery there besides the greetings and exchanges of messages and thoughts with the numerous friends and acquaintances that I am bound to meet there. I expect to return stronger, healthier, fitter and happier than ever.

See the difference in our attitudes towards the new day. Of course, I expect you to say it would be easy for me to have the better attitude as I am looking forward to something enjoyable and not work.

But then, who said work could not be enjoyable? When I was teaching, I woke up each morning, aware that I was still so much alive to face another beautiful day. I would smile at myself in the mirror and be delighted to have my image respond likewise. That was something I learned from some of my teachers, the ones who taught me about living and life, such greats as Napoleon Hill, Norman Vincent Peale and Dale Carnegie. I would reach the school early so that I would not have to rush but have the time to look at the beauties, nature and humans, along the way. Meeting and greeting friends each day was and still is a pleasure that lightens whatever loads and makes each day so fleetingly short that I had no alternative but to treasure almost every moment.

I loved my work and despite the numerous problems that students did cause, it was sufficiently interesting especially when results were achieved and personal satisfaction was derived from it. Perhaps it was my ego but then it was great to have such an ego when all it did was to make living such a challenge that brought a sense of achievement in the end. To this day I can still lay claim to the fact that I had 100% passes with my SPM art students every year during my teaching career. (SPM is the public examination at form five level.) It is also my pride that my gymnasts did very well through my training. Of course, it involved a lot of hard work, five days a week but then gymnasts can never be really good unless sufficient training and practice is held. Well, it was worth it as results fed the ego and that gave a wonderful feeling nothing else could have. So, ego can sometimes be a good thing although being too egoistic can be bad.

And all that wonderful joy was the result of one's attitude towards one's work. And that pleasure is for life as each time I meet an old student, his/her delight at meeting someone meaningful in his/her life gave me further happiness.

Attitude towards life and work is our choice. We can get up each morning with a happy thought of meeting wonderful friends and seeing beautiful things as well as achieving good work or we can awaken with the thought of gloomy skies, dull colourless objects on the way and having to meet lousy people throughout the day. Both choices are possible. We make it so.

When it comes to meeting beautiful people, it is easy as our friends would be around to smile, laugh and joke with us. Our way to work could be filled with lovely plants and flowers in some gardens or at the roadside. Listen and be greeted each morning by the whistling of birds, "Tweet, twee, twee, tweet!" which sounds like "Look at that girl!" or "Hi, handsome one!" Watch the butterflies as they flutter by and should there be a breeze, slow down and love its cool touch of your cheeks. And at work think of the service we can render to so many people. Think of what we can do. Not everyone has the skill or knowledge or capability that we possess. And know that God has sent us here to perform a mission.

Of course, it is just as easy to choose not to enjoy the sights on the way, not to notice the little girl digging her nose at the bus-stop or the man with a different coloured sock on each leg. It is easy to get up as late as possible, plod into the working place, flop into a chair and wonder when the day could be over, hope no one would interrupt the little shut-eye and wish that there is nothing to be done. Well, everything is possible to him/her who desires it. But which would we prefer?

Allow children to improve their five senses.

How can anyone know the results of any attempt before hand. Nobody can foretell the future. So, we will never know what tomorrow may bring. However, if we never gather the courage to try, we can never know whither such a move may lead us. Therefore, to strive for the best possible, there is no alternative but to go for it.

However, sometimes we have to experience failure before success comes. Knowing this, we should look upon any failure as just an indication that out talents are best put in another field or sphere. With that we know ourselves better, We understand better where our chances for success lies when there are choices to be made. Sometimes, we face two possible paths and at this juncture, we certainly would be at an advantage if we know which path gives us better possibilities and probabilities of success and happiness.

Therefore, we must dare to try so as to know ourselves better. Perhaps, from experience, we realise that we did not have the advantage of elders who would urge us or guide us to try. Even though we only realise this when the possibilities are less; I would never say that there is non left; we still can use this understanding to improve the lot of our children or our grandchildren.

Too often parents or guardians put a stop to the spirit of wanting to try out something; to be adventurous and curious, to know what lies behind something or beyond some place.

This came to mind the other day when I observed a grandparent quickly hiding things of putting things out of the curious grandchild's reach. The grandchild was sent to another direction when he started opening drawers and cupboards. Has the grandparent ever asked: Why does a child do that? It is the innate desire to explore, to find out, to be curious and so to know everything in his environment.

A child rummaging through the contents of a drawer, is learning and improving himself. Unless the things are dangerous or easily breakable, the child ought to feel the textures of the things, see the objects in the drawer, smell the plastic or wooden articles, listen to the sounds of movement of the things and, if possible taste all the contents in the drawer. The five senses will be exercised.

Each time the child is allowed to experience things through the five senses, the senses are developed. All the senses will be more sensitive. The child's learning ability would be enhanced.

Have you noticed that some of us depend more on just one or two senses. For example, we initially exercised our feeling of touch. Later, we go on to emotional feelings. However, some people have not been allowed to give rise to emothins and feelings. Feelings are sometimes suppressed by adults, not allowing children to voice their feeling on so many matters. As a result, such children do not feel as much for others or even their own selves.

Unreleased emothions or feelings can lead to depression and other emotional problems.
Unable to relate the feelings and emotions to people close to them, they burden themselves with it, unable to release it and so suffer from it as a result.

Mastering depression.

The first time I saw depression, it was mirrored on the face of a person I knew. The face was sad, without confidence, the eyes looking away from the person who was talking to her. Most times, it was a monologue, a one way communication. Sometimes, the person distanced herself away from the people around, went around on her lonesome. Every now and then, she talked to herself, cried or laughed to herself.

Depression is brought on by the inability to handle a certain situation, finds no solution to the problem and eventually believes no one can help to solve it. Alone with the problem causes the mind to think there is no way out, the burden cannot be removed except for the mind to think of an escape, to escape into one’s own private world where one can lose the depressing problem.

When someone is unable to handle a situation; too much work or too difficult to accomplish or overcome, the person feels the weight of the work on his/her shoulders. If the work can be shared, and he/she knows there is someone else to turn to, it can never lead to depression. Tough, tired and exhausted but never depressed.

If it is a human relationship problem, the situation can be handled through understanding that it may be god’s guide to another even better relationship. Life is not just one relationship.

Getting involved in the activities of life allow the mind to move away from the problem. Sharing our painful thoughts with close friends or God can help elevate oneself from such a problem. That is one reason we have confessions in church where people can share their troubled thoughts with God.

If the situation eases after a short period, then there is relief. If the problem persists with no sight of a solution, the stress is too long and somewhere in the mind, something breaks down and hopes to find solace in depression. That is why there must be rest, a vacation, a distraction, every now and then, to move away from the pressures of life.

Sharing one’s sorrow helps to lighten the load. That is the reason we need good friends who can lend a sympathetic ear to our problems and show concern by suggesting ways to overcome the situation.

I believe it is one reason researchers discover that married people live longer and happier lives. There is always the spouse to share whatever terrible stress we have received from the office. The spouse listens and pacifies or lovingly shows there is at least one person in the world who cares.

So, through knowing that there is always someone who can help, through sharing, through taking breaks and through a lover, the darkness of the night is not so cold and a new day dawns with the warm rays reaching out towards us. These are the ways of preventing or mastering depression!

However, should depression managed to overcome anyone, there is still another solution besides the psychiatrist. I have personally helped a very young girl recover from depression by taking her to The Art Of Living. This was related in an earlier posting in which I have revealed how the Bhasrika, knowledge and the singing of the Bhajans have helped.

For adults, the Sudarshan Kriya is a wonderful breathing technique which has helped many.

Allow The Art of Living volunteers in the 146 countries in the world to reach you if you encounter or know of such cases which need help. For further assistance, email me and I will do whatever I can.

Further information on the Sudarshan Kriya can be found in
http://www.artofliving.org/