A tribute to Incredible Jessica Cox: Living life to the fullest with her best feet forward.

How many can drive cars? Almost everyone of us. How many of us have a black-belt in tae kwon do? A good number of you people out there do, I believe. How many people can surf a board on the waves? A small number, perhaps And how many can fly a plane? Very few of us, I think. Now those answers are for folks like you and me. How about if you are born without two arms? That’s right! No arms!

Last night, I slept rather late as I could not stop searching for everything there is to know about this one beautiful fantastic lady I was introduced to by Youtube. There she was standing with the greatest of confidence I have ever encountered in such a little 26 year old, 5 foot one inch tall, armless lady beside a plane and from Youtube I was to discover that this little beautiful lass was capable of everything on earth. That is the impression I get anyway and I think I cannot be wrong as she has proved to the world she can do things many people could not have done.

As I read on I realised I have encountered one of the greatest achiever of all times. She must have been sent by God to show others that the only limits to our lives are all in our minds. And she is the living walking proof of that undeniable fact. Here is a gal who believes that through creativity, persistence and the determination to conquer her fears, everything is possible.

Here is this lady, Jessica Cox, a Pilipino-American who was born in Tucson, Arizona, without arms. No doctor knew how that came about. Anyone would have thought people without arms would just sit helplessly and give up on life. However, as I searched the internet till late I discovered that there are quite a number of people who not only did not just throw down the towel but are successful with their lives.

One of the youngest happen to be a little girl who entered primary school this year at the age of seven. She is from Alor Star, Kedah, Malaysia and her name is Huang Zhaoqian. Despite being born with no arms, she copes with her homework very well by writing with a pencil between her toes. She attracted sufficient attention from Malaysia’s Moral Education Curriculum Committee to have them request for permission from her parents to have her story in next year’s moral education textbook. Then there is this very healthy lady, Barbara Guerra, who lost her arms in an accident at the age of two and a half. She can look after herself well, dressing up, doing her own make-up, brushing her teeth and other everyday activities and even driving her own car wherever she wants and a place she frequents often is the gym. So, people who make use of whatever they have instead of concentrating on whatever they do not have can still live life to the full. And Jessica Cox is one of three armless people who appeared in a one-hour documentary called ‘Born without Arms’ where these people reveal their struggles and talked about their accomplishments. The other two are Nadia and Mark.

When it comes to Jessica Cox, she went to school and just like Malaysia’s Huang Zhaoqian used her toes to turn the pages and write. Well, Jessica did use artificial arms from time to time but she threw them away as she found that they prevented her from doing what came naturally to her. She did wonder why she was not given two arms just like other people. However, she did not wonder too long. Instead she did what she could with what has. She has legs and toes, legs and toes which through practice and work became strong, flexible and capable of feats that helped her to handle things which normally require hands. With those legs and toes she is able to perform anything others use their hands to do. Thus, she is able to dress up, do her own make-up and look after herself such as eat, type, play the piano and even put in her own contact lenses. Even without arms, she also learned how to swim. She swam at the pool in the University of Arizona. Yes, at the university of Arizona for it was there that She studied well to emerge as a Psychology graduate with a bachelor’s degree. (Hope young Malaysian Huang Zhaoqian and her parents read this and be inspired by it.)

The second of three children, Jessica attributes part of her success in life to her parents, William Cox, a retired music teacher and her mother, Inez Macabare from the Philipines, a nurse as well as the support of her older brother, Jason and her younger sister, Jackie. Her parents gave her the confidence by treating her no different from her other children and so it was that she learned early to feed herself, play with toys, comb her hair and write with a pencil with her own feet. When she was three years old, the parents did not stop her from activities where others need their hands. Instead she was enrolled in gymnastic classes. (I know of so many parents who fear so much that their children would hurt themselves that their children were forbidden to take part in such activities. Imagine that! Parents instilling fear instead of providing confidence.) They did not stop at that. At the age of six years, Jessica was already attending swimming and dance classes. By age ten, she was into tae-kwon-do until she obtained her black belt in the seventh grade. And she went on to get her black belt twice! What a tough petite lass. Now we know where and how she became strong with her legs and gained so much agility and confidence in all her activities despite her slender frame.

Jessica Cox who is as fiercely independent as her mother, believes that that sort of attitude is the most important factor she had inherited from her mother. For that kind of independence to be possible, she had to overcome the odds with what she had, two strong legs. That is the formula for success; look for what is in us or what we have and use it. Unfortunately, most of us merely compare with others and complain about what we do not have instead of turning to what we have and using it.

And she is not just tough. She has artistic talent too. She can play the piano. Of course, she can write as she has her own website: www.rightfooted.com and that is where you can avail yourself of her photographs. Isn’t she a beauty? Oh, yes! She will be writing a book on her life with the title ‘Disarming prejudice.’.
Oh, yes, she can drive her own car without any adjustments to the controls. Like Barbara Guerra, she drives very well. When first learning to drive, Jessica was encouraged to use special modifications in her car. But even after her car was modified, she decided to remove them and drove without the changes. She holds an unrestricted driver’s license. With her right foot she grabs the buckles of her seat belt and locked the belt before slipping her body into it. She then turns on the ignition, adjusts the window and air conditioning controls, puts on the direction indicator signal and flips down her sun visor before driving off to her destination, steering with her right foot on the wheel as her left foot works the gas and brake pedals.

And last year in 2009, she became the first armless pilot to obtain a licence to fly a plane using her feet - one manning the steering column and the other the controls. Her license allows her to fly up to 10,000 ft on light sports aircraft. She took three years to gain her licence with her teacher Parrish Traweek guiding her on how to use the controls of the Ercoupe 415 plane with her feet. She was helped by the Able Flight organization which helps disabled people to gain self confidence through flying.

And believe it or not, she said that flying was her greatest fear. It was that fear which motivated her to strive for a few years to be able to fly, to conquer that fear. Well, how many of us are deterred from certain joys due to fear? In her, we see that fear can be overcome with effort and the desire to do it. Of course, as she implies, conquering fear is not easy but it can be done.

For a lady who admitted to being shy the first time she went on stage to dance, Jessica has certainly come a long way through her own steam. She overcame fear and shyness, two of the most debilitating factors in many people’s lives.
Encouraged by her success, she takes her first surfing lesson in Maui, Hawaii. On Youtube, I see her with her instructor going out to sea, then she gets up to stand on the surfboard. While the instructor pedalled with his hands she used her feet to move the surfboard forward. Later, with the instructor nearby, a short distance away in the sea, she stood and surfed all alone.

For a lady yet to reach her 27th birthday, she has come a long, long way without those arms. She has perhaps covered more distance than most people her age. However she was most fortunate to have what to a certain degree many people may lack or possess; loving and understanding parents, supportive siblings, self-dependence, determination, courage, perseverance, positive attitude and the right kind of activities to prepare her for the challenges ahead.

Parents can learn at lot from a study of Jessica’s success as you can see that at an age when she could not have comprehend fully the challenges she may face in life, her parents had started preparing her for a normal life, getting her to perform in activities which gives her the strength and flexibility as well as the much needed courage to live life to the full.

I believe this is one of my most important study of an individual as her life not only bring inspiration; she is an international motivational speaker; but also lessons on bringing up children.

How long is your time?

One complained, "I just don't have the time to finish everything." while another gloomily responded with "I have done this, that and all those but it is still not yet seven o'clock."

Why are different people discovering that the speed of time differs from one day to the next, one incident to another and from one person to the other? Is there a different speed of time for each and everyone of us?

I remembered the times I had dates with very interesting beautiful people. Somehow, my mood changes and everything is so much more easier to complete. After finishing what seemed like hundreds of kilograms of work, the appointed time had yet to arrive. Wishing hard for the seconds to fly faster ahead, it seemed to want to play or fool around with me, slowing down to a crawl as I awaited to reach the appointed time.

Then. there were those teachers' trainee days when an assignment had to be completed in two days. I rushed to gather information and as quick as lightning settled down to put all those knowledge onto paper. Time cheekily smiled and sped through the seconds, minutes and hours so fast it left me panting, exhausted and unable to catch up with it. What a nasty guy time was at such times! With hardly any time for sleep or rest, time knew how to stay just slightly ahead of me to not allow me to give up yet left me just shaken enough to hastily complete my assignment.

Yet, all of us know that a second everywhere moves in a second, no more faster or slower than that in any place throughout the world. So, it is all in the mind. The state of mind that a certain idea or thought has put it into, causing it to be more nervous and anxious, sadder and more uncertain or happier and more confident. These states of the mind affect our view of time and the speed of our actions. Yes, the speed of our actions is the culprit although we usually blame the time even though we are well aware that twenty-four hours is that long and no more or less.

So fear of inability to accomplish a certain task within a certain time frame may affect our mind and this slows down our own reactions and actions, slowing down our work causing it take a longer time to complete and giving the impression that time is moving faster than usual, inadvertently causing us to compete with the ever steady time and, of course, losing out to it.

Similarly, we emerge the winner when our state of mind is positive and confident. With confidence, our thoughts and movements are faster and tasks are accomplished well ahead of time without any wastage due to any uncertainty. Thus, we need less time to achieve whatever goal we set ourselves to. Time, at such times, seem so much slower.

At this point, I remember how one businessman told some people that before he came into the Art of Living, he did not seem to be able to finish all that has to be done in a day. His mind was not as calm and stable. Then, after practising the 'Kriya', listening to knowledge and doing meditation for some time, he discovered that the same amount of work could be covered in a much shorter time giving him ample time for rest and recreation. I believe he gained greater confidence with calmness in his mind in facing his daily tasks. With greater confidence and calmness, greater concentration in the tasks at hand is possible, resulting in more that can be done in a much shorter time. As such the mind is an important factor in our everyday lives. If it is in turmoil, there can be less concentration on everything, less is accomplished and time becomes insufficient.

So, have you thought of training your mind to be calm and focused? Without the calmness and concentration, can there be efficiency and confidence in your life?

Children look towards their parents for encouragement.

A child would put full enthusiasm into everything of interest. In their enthusiasm, they concentrate on their project without thoughts for their surroundings, their clothes and the condition of their appearance. Thus, it is not surprising to find a child so involved in something that he/she does not bother about time. The child will go on and on with his/her interest.

This is something parents ought to understand to appreciate the cause of their ignoring calls to dinner and so forth which is interference to the child’s present time joy. Understand that the child is putting in one hundred percent interest in his effort. Do not expect him to stop immediately. Go and get his attention slowly and gradually, then tell him/her about his/her next project. Get the child to turn his interest towards another direction.

As the child puts in effort into whatever is being done, clothes are bound to be dirtied, wet and crumpled. Even the hair, face and body may get some nature’s colours and pastes. So, if possible, keep the dirt and bacteria from him/her, not keep him/her away from the contaminants. Meaning that if the child plays in a clean environment; a well-kept room or hall perhaps, then the chances of him or her getting dirtied can be very slim. However, let the child play on sandy, clayey or loamy ground and we can expect more changes of clothes.

Now, the above would warn parents about the things they can expect and so not go into a rage over such matters. Do not grumble or scold about the messiness of his/her efforts. Give him a smile instead and get him or her to bathe more often. Encourage all his/her efforts for, good or bad, clean or dirty, artistic or not, they are all sincere efforts at achievement. Never judge the work done by our adult standards. If we do that, the child does not stand a chance to feel confident to carry on. Remember that children learn through such play. They learn about things around them, the effect of such things on their hands, the feel and texture and, even more important, the appreciation of their work. Without adult appreciation, there can be no encouragement to continue putting in effort. So never ever dampen such efforts.

To understand the importance of this, adults should stop and think of the feelings felt each time someone appreciates their efforts, be it games, fun or work. If you know these feelings, then you understand how vital appreciation is to the development of any child.

So, the next time your child were to scrawl or drawl something on a piece of paper, colour it with crayons or colour pencils, do ensure that you find the time to stop at least for a short moment whatever you are doing to take a look at his/her work, smile lovingly to him or her and show your appreciation of the effort. Be grateful that your child is trying something and learning in the process.

I stress on this because of the numerous times busy parents would shoo away their children with their seemingly unimportant piece of art work or small piece of self-made craft. Of course, you may not be impressed with his work as you are an adult but that is your child’s wholehearted attempt at expression or creativity in a piece of child art. Know that those few minutes of appreciation, now and then, each and every day can bring so much much needed encouragement for your child’s progress in his growth of self-esteem, a self respect which would give him/her the confidence to learn even more and develop positively as he or she transforms from a child to a teenager into an adult with a sense of self worth that would hold him/her in good stead in every sphere of life.

So do stop to appreciate whenever a child approaches with something he/she had made. The fact that this child approaches to show it must mean that he/she have to be looking for some assurance that his/her efforts are worthwhile and his/her learning process can continue with confidence.

What’s courage? What is fear?

During my secondary school days, my parents rented a floor of a three-storey house in Bishop Street, Penang. At that time, I had already taken up weight-lifting to strengthen my weak body. I can still remember the great feeling of my strength developing each day as I conscientiously followed a regime of exercise and nutrition to develop strength as fast as I could, enjoying each moment of pain as the muscles in my body grew bigger, firmer and tougher.

It was also in Bishop Street that I had my moment of truth. In those days, there were street gangs and to be safe you have to acknowledge them as your big brothers. I belonged to no such gangs and such people like me were at the mercy of those people. With their numbers, the individual was no match for them. Move away or be mowed down. That was the law of the concrete jungle. Obey that law or your safety is at risk.

However, one evening, with two years of strength training and a solid body to prove it, I returned home from the gym to find my path blocked by one such 'big brother'. Fortunately, he was alone. Young and egoistic, seeing the guy as just my size then, I continued my way instead of moving to the other side of the road like I had done whenever they had a group of them. He faced me as I walked straight towards him. I could have just walked pass him without either of us having to move to one side. However, as I got nearer, he sifted his position to place himself directly into my path. My stupid ego refused to safeguard myself by moving to one side to avoid him. I plowed on. Then, unbelievable as it was, he moved aside for me. Elated, I went on to pass him without looking back, for I was also fearful of the consequences should he decide to call upon his group to teach me a lesson which did happen in another incident at Great World Park, Penang; the incident in which I have written about how a friend and I went through back lanes and places to evade their search. (I have written that in an earlier post on the ego.)

Yes, my heart did beat faster and there was that fear in my heart. But that moment of truth taught me that such people were only brave when they are backed by others. They are courageous because of the numbers. It also taught me that fear could always be there in us when we understand the danger and risk we encounter even when we gather sufficient nerve to face it.

It was a moment of truth that has taught me that courage comes to those who are confident of winning. The fear will be there if we understand that we are sure the chances of losing is greater or when we have no chance at all of winning. And fear of losing something valuable to us may give us the courage to try. Or the fear of hurting someone we love may stop us from carrying on or trying further. Yes, the courage to sacrifice for a loved one can be due to the fear of hurting that somebody. Such are the moments of truth and hurt that I have faced.

Only quitters could be losers.

The Winter Olympics is just over and some have been placed first, second and third according to the performance at that moment, compared to all those participants in the games.

In my mind, all those selected to represent their countries in the games are winners. Although some of them got no medals to show for their efforts, they are undeniably some of the best athletes in the world, certainly something to be admired. They missed those medals because they are humans with the strength and weakness that is characteristic of all humans. Mistakes are made naturally from time to time, even among the best. Mood could also have played a part just as it does in our everyday lives.

Thus, in every competition, it is not a shame to lose to another as long as the best possible effort has be in place at that particular moment, even when, somehow, the body could not master sufficient power to drive one to the top. Especially in top-notched competition, everything is possible and what is expected may not occur. A medal winner today may not receive any on another day. This happens in every sport or human endeavour. Well-known ex-boxers such as Floyd Patterson, Sony Liston and Mohammad Ali may no longer be in possession of the boxing crown but they definitely are some of the best in boxing.

In every human endeavour, unless we quit before the end of the trail, success can be ours when we achieve whatever we set out to do. How small or big the achievement is subjective. The most important point is whether such an achievement is sufficient to boost our morale and give us a sense of achievement. When there is achievement, there will be greater confidence, confidence that will give us the courage to face whatever challenges that life may present; to triumph over such challenges, giving us a joyful uplift through the knowledge that nothing is too big to overcome if we put our will to it.

Without this inner strength, quitters give up on emerging as winners in life, throwing away a life that could have been used to prove to themselves that life is worth the living by facing it head-on and not allowing challenges to overwhelm them. this, in itself, is a victory.

Decisions, confidence and life.

When someone tells you to jump across a wide drain, do you do it? At a metal barrier which is about four feet high, do you vault over it, knowing that you had done it ten years ago?

Well, I would do it for those are two things I did recently. Since my teenage days, after I have taken up body-building and found that I was just as strong as any other if not more so, I have done all those so called dangerous things. Oherwise, I would not have taken up gymnastics which can bring one's self-esteem down easily. Perhaps, it was my ego. Well, through the years, my ego has mellowed a little through knowledge and understanding from experience and places such as The Art of Living Centre.

When my wife was around she would often caution me. Still I went ahead and did some of the things which she would consider too adventurous and dangerous. It was my ego, fo course. To be the hero has always been strong in me somehow. There are times I succeeded and that brought that wonderful top of the world feeling I have always desired. Of course, there were times when I had to smile sheepishly as I drag myself out of the undignified situations I put myself into. I had been fortunate to have escaped any permanent injury in the spins and spills I endured. Thank God for that.

So, I was really sorry to read in Yahoo!. News today that a young man of twenty-six from Salt Lake City died after he was stuck upside down in an L-shaped underground cave for twenty-eight hours. He could not be saved despite recuers' attempts to get him out with drilling equipment, rope and a pulley system.

This young man was an experienced caver who had even led groups of cavers into other more dangerous caves. Certainly, he must have known the dangers involved. He must have been very confident of his ability to explore such a cave. Perhaps, it was this overconfidence which was his undoing. Having been able to get out of dangerous situations easily can give one the confidence to tackle other dangerous situations without putting much thought into it. I have known this kind of feeling as I have had such kind of confidence with my gymnastic ability and my motorcycle control.

However, upon reading this story of this caver, I think we should not throw caution to the wind unless a situation deems it necessary. We should think of possible consequences when the situation presented us is not a life or death issue. Yes, it is great to be be a 'hero' but is it worth it?

Then again, what would life be like if it is boringly safe and uneventful? Well, we will just have to balance between the two. Judgement is important here. Take risks but if the percentage is too high, so high that we cannot stand a chance of winning, then, if we can, just walk away from it.

I suppose this is something that every individual has a responsible for: his own life. Nobody can do it for us. Judge the situation and decide for yourself what to do. Is not that life? We go through life making choices.

Incapacitating fear.

A gymnast's worst enemy is fear. No gymnast can perform well when there is fear in his heart. The fear can come as a result of loss of confidence. The doubt of being able to perform starts in the mind. Once doubt anchors itself in the mind, the gymnast is lost. No longer can he perform well.

In all things, the mind plays a very important role. Success or failure depends on the confidence which has its root in the mind. Convince the mind that success can be achieved and everything else fall into place. Confidence drives out fear. Without fear, everything is possible.

I remember very well my first Red Cross flag-day at the Penang Youth Centre more than forty years ago. I partnered with an Indian friend. From the moment I recieved the donation tin and the flags, I told my friend we were going to collect the most donation for the day. I told him it would be easy if we can cover the greatest distance and approached the most number of people. He agreed with me and promise to support every move to request for donation from every stranger we met that day.

As strong teenagers, we set off immediately and started right after exiting from the gate of the Penang Youth Centre. Initially, there was this little awkwardness in approaching strangers for donation but as donation after donation came in, the feeling subsided and the nerve to approach just anyone strengthened. Of course, a few refusals we did get but as we strove on, I noticed that whenever I approached strangers with a ready smile and explained or requested for donation in a friendly yet purposeful voice, the response was good. With that positive attitude, I reached out to all the shops and expensive places to discover that there were many willing to donate when approached correctly. After merely an hour of collecting, there was such great confidence that the rest of the day was easy going.

As we went along, I did notice that some flag-day volunteers were not bold enough to reach out to everyone they saw. For example, they moved aside for some well-dressed people moving purposefully past them instead of standing firm in their path and asking for donation. Many did not go into shops to approach proprietors whom I found to be the best to approach. It must have been fear, doubt, insecurity or a lack of commitment to perform the task well. So, some people who could have donated were lost to the cause.

Of course, we did end that day with the most donation collected and was pleasantly surprised with being presented a radio.

Even if my partner and I had not been given a radio each, it was one of the most beneficial experiences of my life. Through that experience, I no longer had any qualms in approaching any stranger. I understood people better; that people respect confident people and are more willing to comply with any reasonable request. I also learned that no matter how better dressed another person may be, he is no different from the flesh, blodd and heart of any other. It is courage, confidence and the ability to perform that makes people different. See. How much benefit a child can get from being a volunteer for a donation drive. Today, I am no different. I still approach strangers, this time to tell them of the Art of Living Foundation and the benefits of its breathing courses.

Of course, I am not saying that it is easy to get rid of some fears. Some fears exist because we know our limits. This is where we have to face reality. For example, from childhood experience, I know I cannot sing like Elvis or Cliff Richard. Those are singers during my time. Having faced reality, I now sing only in my bathroom or when no one is near enough to hear my out of tune, beautiful voice. So, I would never go on stage to sing. Never! Yes, it is a fear. But it is healthy fear. I know I am good at many things but there are a few things I would allow others to excel in. Give others a chance. See, this is where i am very generous.

You know, when I visited India a year ago I discovered that I could still vault over a four-feet high metal barricade at the airport in Chennai. Before then, I thought I could no longer do it. There was this fear of falling should my legs not clear the hurdle. Age can bring on such fears. Since then, I had regained the confidence and have been doing it each time opportunity presents itself. So, most fears can be overcome.

Only belief can bring confidence.

The above are pictures of me on my motorbike during my younger days. In a previous post is a photograph of an older me.

And here I am with one of my favourite students who could speak English very well.
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Have you seen those advertisements in which they show a fat guy being transformed into a slim, muscled one with the stomach muscles clearly defined, chest muscles taut and hard, big strong shoulders and arms? Yes, we see them in advertisements which claim to give any obese person such a body within a certain period of time with either a slimming diet or some kind of device which is not supposed to develope muscles.

Whenever, I see such an advertisement, I always wonder how the owners of the advertisement could expect people to believe that they can achieve such a ridiculous result.

Come on! If the method used does not involve some kind of exercise which can build muscles, how do such muscles come about from someone who has always been obese? Do these advertisers mean to tell us that such well defined muscles are just below the fat of obese people?

I have been exercising almost all my life. In school, I have done cross-country running, 800 metres, round-the-house relays, gymnastics, football, rugby and tae-kwon-do but I have never had such beautiful stomach muscles as the ones advertised.

As a teacher, I have been a very active Kedah state gymnastic coach as well as a physical education teacher. Although I had no weight problem, I never had those prominent stomach muscles.

Today, in retirement, I walk briskly up a hill, run fast at level ground at the top and do all kinds of exercise as I descend every morning for a little more than an hour. Yes, I have a slim, enviable shape but no well-defined muscles, except perhaps the legs.

So, I was indeed truly surprised that people who go through such slimming therepy are able to achieve such fantastic results.

Others may believe it can happen. I don't know. I just cannot believe it. I mean, well-defined muscles only come people who carry weights, do daily tough manual tasks, practise high-wire circus acts and martial arts exponents who practise powerful moves daily. Certainly not merely through a simple no-sweat slimming therapy.

What I am saying is that such advertisements should make people believe the results are possible.

When we advertise, we are selling something. In order to sell, we must get the targeted customers to believe. If the pictures of the results, no matter how attractive they may be, are difficult to believe, can the results be good? Can it give the targeted group the confidence to believe in your product?

In life, every individual also sells himself/herself. What you says or claim must be believable. Do people believe in you? Do you give them the confidence to rely on you for certain results, to expect that you would deliver whatever you promise?

For example, if I claim to be an English Language teacher who can help your son improve his English Language proficiency but my speech or writing in the language is full of mistakes, would you believe me? Would you expect me with my my broken English to deliver the expected result?

Certainly not! You must be really naive, if you do.

If I claim I can walk briskly up a hill and run at certain parts of it but I am grossly overweight, would you believe me? Certainly not!

And getting people to believe in us is of utmost importance as people act just on belief, even though the belief can be wrong sometimes.

And belief in oneself is what brings us to the achievement we become capable of. It is through belief that confidence and courage takes us against any challenge that life throws at us.

Belief in God brings peace of mind.

Since the beginning of time, Man has always believed in one or more spiritual powers. It is a belief that is necessary for a sense of security and well-being. Man has always believed that such spiritual powers can give him protection, good health, good luck and assistance to overcome problems.

Wherever there are people, at any period in history, there are religious beliefs and practices. Early man worshipped the sun, the moon, the earth, the stars, lightning and thunder.

Then the ancient Egyptians had their gods such as Osiris, Anubis and Horus. These Gods represent the power that lay behind all natural phenomenon. And just as natural forces sometimes combine its power, as felt recently through the earthquake and the powerful waves that descends upon us as tsunami, the Egyptians also combine their gods to give them more power to assist them in bringing hope and solutions to things unfathomable. For example, the god of hidden power, Amun, was combined with the god of the sun, Ra, to become Amun-Ra.

The Malays in Malaya, before the coming of Islam, also had their deities. They too believed in spirits then. There was a time the 'Tujuh Likur night' oil lamps were lit to attract to attract spirits of dead relatives and angels. Nowadays, the lamps are still lit but just as a decoration.

On Hari Raya day, Muslims, after their prayers, visit the graves of their dead loved ones to pray for god's blessings. The belief in the existence of the spirits of the dead is very much alive in almost every culture.

When the Chinese came to Malaya, they brought along their Datuk Kong (
拿督公). In order that there be peace amongst the Chinese and Malay deities, the Chinese gave the local deities just as much attention as those they brought along. And that is how Keramats came into being. The Keramats are the fusion of pre-Islamic spirit belief and Chinese spiritual belief. As a result, today, we have many Keramats in shrines all over Malaysia.

Why do the Chinese pray to so many Keramats and Chinese deities? You see, the Chinese are a very pragmatic people. they would accept any spirit, any deity, any God; be it a Muslim God, a Hindu God or God by any name Man has given Him; that can offer solutions to problems that science may not be able to present. After all, where science has a solution, the Chinese or I believe anybody, would turn to science for its solution. They do not stick to one fixed idea or thinking. Whatever is suitable for the particular time, place and circumstance will be accepted as the right procedure or the right solution. With such kind of attitude towards the unknown, solutions are more easily available. Any solution that serves a purpose well is certainly of value. And these deities and Keramats do serve many important purposes.

When the people feel insecure in a place, a sense of spiritual security no police or psychiatrist can offer, they have a guardian deity, a 'te-tu-gong'(the guardian of a place). And the beautiful part of it is, the people concerned could find peaceful slumber, believing sincerely in their hearts and minds that the Guardian Deity will look after them. With sickness, when doctors do not seem to be able to bring about a cure, they turn to the deities. Again, many find the miraculous cures which only god can give. When things go bad, be it business or the home, they turn to the Goddess of Mercy and the storms were calmed and all that is desirable returns. With such results, could anyone blame these people for turning to the only last resort that is available? And when the deities appear to grant the people their wishes or their prayers, could anyone blame them for their gratitude?


At the entrance to the apartments of Lorong Semarak Api, Bandar Baru, Air Itam, Penang Island, is a community of deities comprising of various races. They are there for the peace of mind of the people in that place.


One of the pre-Islamic Malay deities, Tok Nenek, is reverred and has a place in the lives of the residents.



Above is Datuk Kuning, a Malay Keramat bestowed a place of honour in the community of deities.


And Datok Jin,


For the Chinese, the Buddha and his wisdom as well as his teachings will forever be guiding the people to a better life. Truth in his teachings can be seen in our everyday life.


And here are some of the taoist deities that play a part in the lives of the Chinese.


Even Indian dieties are not forgotten. As long as these deities continue to bring calmness and peace of mind to the residents, there is always a place for them.




Another group of Chinese deities.


Here's another deity




And here's the Goddess of Mercy, a lady whom the people have always turned to for help in times of trouble.


And here is a resident in need of a deity's help, hoping that his prayers will be answered.

What I have just written happens, not just today, not just yesteryear, not just before the appearance of the modern religions but since the beginning of time when Man, in his despair at his motality in the face of the forces of nature, turned to the spirits, the deities and God for solutions to seemingly unfathomable and unconquerable challenges. For centuries after this, Man will still have to depend upon God for his peace of mind, for his continuing existence. I will let history prove this to those who do not believe.

For the unbelievers, those who asks for proofs and evidence, I wish to point out that science has not reached the stage where cameras can clearly capture things in the spiritual world. However, I believe there will come an inventor who will be able to have a camera good enough to show us proof of spiritual existence. I know that is possible for, there are individuals who are able to see such beings. some are born with such ability while others, through opening of the third eye, can look into the realm of spiritual beings, able to see such deities.

For me, God exists from the beginning of time. He, the perfect power, created this perfect earth. Look around us. Before Man in his greed for wealth and power started to mess up everything, thinking only for himself, this universe was a perfect place with everything in it for everyone created by Him. Now, some of His creatures have been swept from existence. The turbulence in our weather forecasts that more tragedies can come. Think of that.

Whatever it is, it is belief in God or gods and deities that brought Man a peace of mind, a sense of security and a confidence in facing life.

Read my experience on finding solace and peace of mind in the belief of God when I heard and was disturbed by spirits in a house in Alor Star in 'A night to remember dated 12th of March, 2009.

Teeth care must start early.

A set of good teeth does not merely concern health, it also leads to good proper pronunciation and confidence.

Proper pronunciation and speech is definitely essential to clear communication which is necessary for success in anyone’s life.

Babies need toys to be put into their mouths when teething. The right toys ought to be given. So, the question here is, “Are those toys dangerous or poisonous to the baby?”

Certainly, small toys which can be easily or accidentally swallowed must not be given. A choke due to swallowing such a toy could be fatal. Thus, parents should look for suitable , washable soft toys which can never be accidentally swallowed, hurt the gums or an emerging tooth.

When we think of poison it could come from the material or the paint used. I have read some time ago about a child swallowing one of those materials which can increase in size when it comes into contact with liquids. When it swells up, the possibility of blockage of the food canal or throat can be disastrous. Paint with lead content can lead to lead poisoning.

Although there would be a second set of teeth, it is important to look after the first set well as gaps in the teeth can be ugly and invite ridicule. Should a child suffer from such cruel acts, you can be assured it would be difficult to get the victim to open his mouth to read loudly, give verbal answers and speak up on any topic in class, effectively preventing any practice in oral communication. Opportunities to perform and participate well in class will be lost. Lost is the chance for much development. So is the child’s self-esteem, lost due to his pronunciation being corrected too often and his words being unclear and thus difficult to catch or comprehend what he/she might have said.

So, a set of good teeth is important. So, ask the dentists and their nurses what is the latest on care of a child’s teeth.

Sometimes, when a child’s teeth are too well looked after, the second new tooth may want to appear before the tooth occupying its place has decayed or dropped out. Usually, in such circumstances, the child would feel discomfort and pain. Attention to your child’s complaint will alert you to this problem. So, parents must be aware of this possibility and take the child to the dentist to have the existing tooth pulled out so that the new emerging tooth have space to grow. Otherwise, it might just push its way out bending slightly to the sides, the front or the back. The tooth will not be straight.

Possibly, you have seen people whose teeth need to be straighten with wires for a fairly long period of time. Is that painful? Well, painful or not, it certainly is, initially at least, uncomfortable.So, what should be done to prevent this. The emerging second set of teeth must be given appropriate attention to ensure that there is sufficient space for them to grow in order to grow straight and well-positioned.

Needless to say, a good set set of dazzling white teeth is a great asset to any individual.

Praises.

On Sunday, 7th June 2009, one of the greatest musician, singer and song-writer, Kenny Rankins, died of lung cancer at the age of 69.

He was still actively involved in his passion of recording songs this year. There is a part written by Associated Press writer, John Rogers, which interested me as a parent and teacher.

According to John Rogers, “Rankin, who signed with Decca Records while still in his teens, once said his music career really began in the fourth grade when he sang "O Holy Night" in a school Christmas play and his teacher walked up to him afterward, patted him on the head and said, "Kenneth, that was lovely." "She set me on the path in music that I find myself on today," he said.”

The man who was much respected by fellow musicians was set on the path to songs, recordings and song-writing by the praise and appreciation of a teacher.

Do we realise the feelings of a child being praise and patted lovingly on the head? Praise and a pat does not need money to give but they are invaluable; priceless! It’s such beautiful actions that bring a glow to the hearts of the receivers. And the receiver may remember the giver for the rest of his/her life.

Words are powerful tools in aiding a youngster towards his/her future. History has proven time and again, that children who reach successfully their goals in life could have been encouraged towards them through such appreciation and praise. And praise and appreciation are even more potent if they are voiced by beloved parents, relatives or close friends. Such praises may not necessarily be direct. It could be the grandmother’s admiration for her grandchild’s abilities. It could be the proud grandpa’s prediction of greatness of his grandchild.

So long as that grandchild could understand the accolades of the grandparents, it raises his/her self-esteem and confidence; self-esteem and confidence which is essential in boosting his ego to stimulate the imagination and belief which enables the child to visualise himself or herself achieving whatever innate capabilities or talent.

Many a time, encouraging words are all that is needed to have children want to learn, to improve and to develop in the right direction. Believe in their ability to achieve all that is good for them and children will prove us right.

Isn’t that easy to do? So what is preventing us from doing it every day of our lives?

Independence Day.

I remember a time when this neighbour came rushing to tell his wife that their son just phoned to inform that their daughter-in-law was on the point of conceiving. Their son was asking for help, requesting them to go to him, to tell him what to do next.

Although I said not a word, I was suppressing my laughter, finding it ridiculous that a grown married man would need the parents’ help in a matter which is so simple.

How many parents can say that their children truly feel competent and secure enough to venture out on their own? Have the parents given their children the opportunity to learn and understand their family, social and environmental world? Have the children been given the chance to function as individuals in their world?

As parents, we ought to ensure our children learn and understand sufficiently to perform on their own, without us to lend a helping hand.

When a child helps in the kitchen, he/she may be just enjoying the experience of knowing how food is prepared and cooked. Then, he/she may be given the chance to try his/her hand at cooking. Imagine the feeling of achievement we can give a child when he/she is able to produce a meal all on his/her own! This sense of accomplishment is important; this feeling of usefulness as a person brings self-esteem; this experience gives your child the knowledge that he or she can be independent.

However, parents are sometimes too protective. We are afraid our child will be hurt or that it is too early to let go.

Of course, it is good and responsible for parents to be protective. Nevertheless, we have to teach, allow practices and then give opportunities to achieve independence.

Certainly, allowing a child to venture out on his/her own can cause the parents lots of anxiety. And it is rightly so! Thus, the first step would be to accompany our child to places outside the home. As we do so, tell our child about the surroundings, what possible things can happen, tell about vehicles, dangers while crossing the roads, looking left and right and how accidents can happen. Teach our child about the various types of people he/she may encounter, how to react to such people and how to avoid possible problems. Then, as our child becomes streetwise, we allow our child to venture forth with siblings or some known friends; we observe discreetly from a distance, and when incidents occur in and around the area, teach our child what can possibly happen through talking about such happenings.

Use the incidents for illustration. As I had said before, the whole world is our classroom filled with audio visual aids to help our child know and understand everything well. In this way, we cultivate a sense of capability and competency in our child.

With such knowledge, training and practice, competency gradually develops. The security derived from understanding of the environment and the courage to function independently will be the end result.

Thus, in years to come, we can proudly see our success as parents in our children’s ability to perform well which can only be possible when they are confident enough to be independent.

Then, rejoice for we have achieved the ultimate goal of all parents.

What qualities are essential?

Intelligence, Strength, coordination and courage make possible almost any required activity in every field of life.

The knowledge of one’s own ability to perform well gives a person the all important confidence to move towards any opportunity. And confidence gives him/her the courage to carry it out with a hundred percent effort. This ensures all obstacles can be swept aside to enable one to test the potentials which exist and end up with the best possible opening in life. With such confidence and courage, every aspect of life can be within reach!

Intelligence is important. Parents can help their children develop intelligence through some of the games available in the market.

Snake and ladder encourage children to count and learn co-operation by taking turns to throw the dice.

In checkers, children learn that rules are necessary. Our child has to think of a strategy to overcome an opponent.

Monopoly teaches the intelligent use of money. Our child learns how to manage money.

Chess is an excellent game requiring knowledge of rules and moves of various pieces in the game. It gets our children to be conscious of the need for strategy. It requires a player to imagine what can possibly happen with each move made. It teaches children to visualize the possible consequences of each move. It also teaches anticipation of the moves of the opponent. It is certainly an excellent game for children to be interested in.

Scrabble helps the child to increase his/her vocabulary and spelling.

Computer games help children improve coordination and anticipation. However, because the child plays by himself and therefore without the need to think of one’s ego, it does not motivate the child as much as other type of games to win. The child finds relaxation and through this relaxation becomes addicted to computer games.So, do not start the child too young on computer games.

Some learning institutions stress on intelligence and forgo physical development. Without sports and games on courts and in the field, our children’s opportunity to develop such strength is lacking.

Although our concrete jungle has replaced the wilds, strength is just as important in many spheres of our lives.

To be a good sportsman or a dancer, we need strength and coordination, besides intelligence and courage.

To be active in so many other activities in life, we require those same qualities.

Even to be a good speaker, we need the courage and confidence to stand in front of a crowd; we need to coordinate our mind with whatever movement of our body and facial expressions necessary to convey clearly the meaning of our speech. We need the strength to speed out loudly and clearly.

Gymnasts have done it through the power of believing.

If you have been following this blog, you would have read how people could walk on glowing, smoking,red-hot coals. You would have read of people who pierce long thin shafts into their cheeks or bodies and later remove them without any indication of injury to them. Unbelievable, of course, unless you understand the power of the mind.

What should interest us even more is how we can harness this power of believing to achieve our everyday success. For that, allow me to tell you how I achieve success as a state gymnastic coach.

When I did my first year of teaching in St. Michaels Secondary School in Alor Star, I assisted a more experienced coach to train the gymnasts of the school. When the experienced coach left for further studies in Australia, I took over the team and for the first time the school team became the champion team of the state. This was the case for the next four years when I was there. Frankly, I was very egoistic and strongly believe I am a better coach than all the others.

Then, just as I was getting another team together in another school, the captain of another school team had an accident and all gymnastic competitions came to a full stop in the state for the next approximately twenty years. Do you see how powerful an incident like this can have on the mind?

About ten years before my retirement, I was required to go for coach training. My school was sent Olympic standard gymnastic equipment and I immediately went to the lower form classes to select the right students.

Firstly, I wanted to know who were interested to become excellent state gymnasts. Some of those who came forward were not only interested; they walked with a confidence of being able to achieve what I planned to succeed at. They were the ones I chose, for in their walk, they showed that they believed in what I was going to do.

Then they went into training, six Malay girls and seven Malay boys. To remove any doubts as well as other obstacles regarding my method of teaching, I invited their parents to watch the training. They saw the progress their children could make and approved my method.

If you understand how gymnasts are trained, you would know that at certain parts of the training there is the need to bend backwards with arms stretched back as you jumped upwards and backwards to land on your hands while your body and legs follow through to land on your feet and straighten the body; a backward somersault. Some people dared not even jump upwards as the body bent backwards. They just do not have the confidence. Have you ever thought what is it that gives us the confidence? It is nothing but belief; belief in the coach and believe that it could be done. Without those beliefs, a somersault is impossible to achieve. Sometimes, I do come across a child who believes in the coach but does not believe she is capable of it. What can the coach do to overcome this? During my coaching I have sometimes praised and exaggerated my gymnasts’ abilities and performances to give them the necessary boost to top up their confidence and enable a movement to be performed. Yes, I have discovered that there is value in exaggeration and encouragement. For, it is especially in gymnastics that I discover the need and the importance of believing to achieve improvement. Some of my gymnasts brought back medals from national schools’ gymnastic meets.

Well, that was a true story of how the power of believing can help humans achieve something in their lives.

Do you have a story to tell? Let us hear it.

Help the teachers to perform well.

You are the most important person in your child's life. Then come the teachers. They play an important role in ensuring the success and happiness of your child. How effective the teachers play their role depends upon two factors.
a) The quality of the teachers.
b) What ideas on respect for others you have taught your children.

When it comes to the quality of the teachers, we have no alternative but to presume them good if not excellent unless proven otherwise. This means we must start with wholesome respect for the teachers and place confidence in them to do their job well. Just check on your children's progress as often as you can.

How effective good teachers are depends on the parents' attitude towards teachers. Through words and deeds a parent can convey the wrong attitude causing the child to have no respect for teachers and authority.

If children are taught a healthy respect for teachers, children will be well prepared to accept the teaching of the teachers. Without an obstacle obstructing the flow of knowledge from the teachers to the children, children are more interested in their lessons and progress will be so much faster.

Unfortunately there are parents who slow down the learning process with doubts about teachers. For example, there are parents who caused their children to become confused with what has been taught with: "Your teacher said! Your teacher said! Forget what your teacher said. I am your parent! Now throw those pieces of chocolate wrappers immediately and don't mess up your hands. By the time you take it to the dustbin, your hands will be dirty. Then you rub your dirty hands onto your trousers and this mummy will have to wash it. Now throw it away! I don't care where you throw it, Just do it. I don't want to have to wash dirtier clothes."

And all that damage done to the child's trust in his/her teacher's advise to throw the chocolate wrappers into a dustbin.

The poor child must be confused.Was the teacher wrong and could it be that which makes mummy so angry? Should I follow her teaching again? Poor child! What is she going to do with the next eleven or more years of learning from teachers?

Parents should not allow this to happen to their children. There are parents who unwittingly teach their children not to listen to their teachers.

Yet, later in life when these children have grown up to be litter-bugs and are fined or punished for littering by the law, their parents would be demanding "What have all these years of schooling taught you? Your teachers are useless! A simple thing like throwing rubbish into the dustbin; you're not capable of doing that! Useless school! Useless teachers!

So, parents should allow teachers to do their job and let children learn the correct things even if it means inconveniencing them a little.