Doting grandma takes on more than she can chew.

In my last posting, I wrote of grandparents who faced a lot of problems with having to look after the grandchildren as well as with themselves as a result of over anxiety of the grandma. Well, today I come across a grandma who became sick as a result of caring for a grandchild.

At sixty years of age, with her husband long departed to heaven, she promised her daughter she would gladly look after the child, a boy of ten. Looking after this boy is a full-time job as he is always active. Knowing that she would not be able to cope on her own, another daughter, the youngest, quickly drove home to ensure that her mother would not be too stressed in her desire to pamper the child. This youngest daughter knew there would be a need for her to get breakfast, do marketing and make sure that her assistance would be available whenever the need arises.

So it was that with the little bundle of energy forever demanding the grandma's attention, the grandma had no time for any rest. Since the moment the child awakened till the moment his head dropped onto the pillow with eyes closed at night, grandma was on the move catering to his needs and demands. And this morning, I visited them to be told the grandma had a fever. She was already down and the daughter obviously had to take over some of her baby-sitting.

Looks like love knows no limits and the old lady simply paid no attention to her own health. Well, this is one of those things that can happen when a woman dotes on someone, especially when that someone is a grandchild. What she forgets is that she has to be in good health to look after someone else. Instead of looking after the grandchild, now she has to be cared for. And the poor daughter has her hands full taking care of two persons, her sick mother and an energetic nephew.

A grandpa's hardship.

This evening I met a friend who confirmed my constant belief that children should never be pampered. My talk with him revealed that grandparents are not the best guardians even though their intentions are nothing but the best.

Here was this friend who exposed the problems of being grandparent-guardians of two lovely grandsons. First, there are these two children who demand his and his wife's time almost eighteen hours a day seven days a week. Awakened by a need to get things done and ready before the two grandchildren awakens; things such as moping the floor, cleaning the table and getting breakfast ready are an everyday affair. Once they are awake, it is feeding them and watching over them wherever they may wander, inside the house, to the front, the back and into the garden.

And besides this, there is this over-loving of grandparents, sometimes one more concerned than the other. For example, he would allow them to run around and fall every now and then, while she, the grandma, would scream at him whenever one of the grandchildren is in danger of a fall or a crash into a piece of furniture. Or one child would touch the floor, then grabs a piece of food and pops it into his mouth. Oh, no! How can that be allowed? No grandchild of mine must have dirt go into his mouth! And grandpa gets the blame. So, everyday, something would cause heated arguments on proper care of grandchildren. Tempers can flare and and relationships can get strained. All because of two grandchildren.

All these can happen because one or both grandparents love the children too much. Well, too much of a good thing can be bad. It leads to pampering. Everything the grandchild wants, he will get, be it food or playthings. At the supermarket recently, this grandpa saw how extravagant the grandma was with her money, paying almost thirty ringgit for a rifle, handcuffs and other 'police' toys. The young father who was present then refused to purchase them as he was thinking of effects such toys could have on his son, the grandpa would not part with so much money for some useless plastic toys but the grandma thought her grandchild must have what is desired by him as children need toys to play with. Furthermore, she has her own money to pamper her grandchild with and that silenced the other two men. So, nothing is too expensive for a pampering grandmother and the toys were bought.

And as the children grew bigger, the grandparents required more energy. Even a simple bath is a problem. Getting them to bath needs a lot of persuading, something leading to scolding and threats before any bathing could take place. Then, there was the amount of play when two children wants to enjoy the bathroom at the same time. There was noise and a lot of splashing that got the floor wet and slippery. The grandma and grandpa have to be extraordinarily careful holding onto the children under such slippery surfaces. Thus, each bath ends with another round of mopping and drying of the floor. That is a lot of work for two old folks.

This friends did remarked that it was easier with their own children. They were more willing to discipline them, be more firm with them and should that not be effective, a spanking on the buttocks was sufficient to put things into proper order. So, he admitted that when it came to the grandchildren, they were unwilling to commit the same type of disciplining.

This grandpa realised that he was not able to enforce discipline on his grandchildren; the very same discipline which had been effective with his own children. Why is that so? Could it be that they understand, deep in their hearts, that grandchildren have their own parents to love, and so, unless even greater love is bestowed upon the grandchildren, the grandchildren might not love them enough? And that could be the reason, they give too much love, pampering, to their grandchildren.

It is time that grandparents search their hearts and should their actions are the result of this subconscious thought, then they must correct their thinking as pampering, be it on one's own children or grandchildren, is never good for them as it would do them a lot of harm. In my earlier posts I had explored the harm and problems that could arise from pampered children. Even in the previous post was a true story of a woman who was divorced by her husband due to her uncaring ways which was caused by her being pampered as an only child. Let us help our beloved young ones grow properly with the right amount of love and understanding into great wonderful individuals loved by all humans they associate with in their lives.

To truly love, we have to suffer the pain of having to discipline when necessary so that the ones we discipline will grow to love and be loved by all.

A time will come when we have to face reality.

In the Malaysian Chronicler today was a Nanyang Siang Pau Newspaper report in which a 48 year-old Singaporean woman realised the importance of appreciation for a husband who has always done everything that her heart desired and had never lost his temper despite having been ill-treated by her with her tantrums and treated with disdain for months over small matters.


Her only excuse for her terrible behaviour was her being spoilt as an only child of her parents.According to her, she had told her husband of her bad temper and he had promised to bear with her and her bad tamper. Perhaps, with that promise, she thought she could get away with being the tigress and forget everything about love in a marriage.

Eventually, the husband must have gave up on her, gave up on ever having love in return and asked for a divorce. It was only then that she realised how much she was going to lose - a husband who has always cared enough to overlook all her bad behaviour and tried his very best to cater to her every whim and fancy. Awakened by the fact that she was going to lose the very person who could have given her so much happiness, she apologised and wrote many letters to ask for a second chance.

As they say, people only awaken to reality only when their 'ship' is about to sink. It has happened many times in life. People only look more carefully into their lives only when their lives are at stake. Only when stricken with a terrible sickness such as cancer, do people think about their health. Only when you are about to lose someone do you think of his or her goodness. Only when the partner says 'enough is enough', do some folks know appreciation of him or her.

Why not think of such things earlier. Think of the beautiful people in our lives. Have we shown sufficient appreciation for them? Are they important enough to be treated with more care and love? What about ourselves? Do we love ourselves enough to think of our happiness, our fitness and health? Think of it and act on it immediately as now is the time to do so, not later for that later time may never come and may be gone forever.

It's women who torment other women.

Yesterday, I met a lady with the courage to do things her way. This was told me by her own daughter who has great respect for her because of this. It is so because she totally agrees with her mother's belief that she must stand by her right to choose the way she ought to live and behave as long as what she does hurt no one. I fully endorse her view and so would hope to spread it too.

The young Indian lady friend told me about the time her father passed away. For the Indians, the Hindus, the married ladies wear something, something like a necklace as wear as a mark on their forehead to proudly but quietly announce to those who understands the symbol that she is married to someone.

Now, when the husband dies, the new widow is treated 'badly' by the other widows as the body of the husband is taken away for burial. First, the wife is not allowed to follow the husband's body to its last resting place. After that, the other widows are to decorate her face and dress her like a bride and then smear all that make-up on her face and make a mess of it.

This friend's mother refused to be treated thus, refused to have the spot between her eye-brows cleaned off, refused to have her face messed up and refused to have her husband's body go to its last resting place alone. She adamantly followed the funeral procession to his grave.

Of course, she was scolded for going against tradition. She did not relent despite all the voices of condemnation. Besides that, this said that she agreed with her mother's wishes and so told the relatives and friends to not force her mother do what she did not wish to do. She threatened to retaliate should they continue to harass her. With that, the others dared not continue to pester her and she achieved her desire to follow the procession with her face unblemished by interfering hands.

At one point, she pointed out to them that the tradition of burning widows at the time of cremation of the dead husbands' body had stopped because it was realised that the practice was cruel. She told them their torment of new widows is also cruel. If there was anyone who said that traditions must not be broken, then those women should follow the first tradition and have themselves burned together with their husbands. So, if that tradition could be stopped, there is no reason to enforced the later tradition. It is sadistic of older widows to cruelly treat new widows thus. And they, the widowed relative and friends had no answer to that.

In the cause of pain and torment to women, I have noticed that it is the women who wants such foul practices to continue. And this is not limited to Hindu culture. As far as I know, many Chinese young wives suffer at the hands of a good number of mothers-in-law. Somehow, the mothers-in-law have this territory control factor where the older lady must have control over everything, be it right or wrong.

It is time that people, regardless of their sex, race or religion, do what is right and remove all that is cruel or wrong.

Down with Tetanus.

Last week, I received a call in the evening for help to get a dog to a veterinarian. According to my friend, Yeoh, this dog was obviously in deep trouble with a wound that refused to heal. I know that as it was the same dog I helped to carry down the hill at Semarak two weeks ago so that another friend could buy her some medicine for a wound and a broken leg.

Dogs with problems at the hill are fortunate to have a few kind souls who care enough for all living things to ensure that they have food and water each day. Besides that Yeoh would be the first to see what could be done for a dog should it be sick. When God put those dogs there, He also made sure such great, wonderful people are around too. These are the people I admire and respect a lot. Their kindness and sacrifice are never in question, examples of angels on earth.

Yeoh told me the dog did not have any appetite for food. However, when Yeoh had it taken to a vet we found that the muscles of her jaws are tightening due to tetanus. And once the jaw is locked, it would not be able to eat and that would be the end of her and her unborn puppies, for she was pregnant.

The vet wondered if we would have her out of her misery by putting her to sleep. But then Yeoh was thinking of her unborn puppies and enquired if it was possible to give those puppies a chance at life. So, the vet agreed to give the dog, 'Small Black', an anti-tetanus injection.

She was taken to my place as we were afraid that Yeoh's other dogs would give this new-comer no peace. Furthermore there was this fear that her dogs might be infected with tetanus should there be cuts and contact among them. So, it was sent to my place for some rest. The next day saw both of us so happy as the dog seem to be recovering. The knitted brows were no longer there. She could eat and drink. However, I noticed that there was no urination or defecation. On the third day, it seemed to have recoverd so well that it started to chase my son's fluffy white chickens, the silkies.

That evening we took her back to the vet for her second dose of anti-tetanus. Expecting nothing but further improvement, we were disappointed to find her getting worse with the eyes getting smaller and the knitted forehead back. Slower was her movement too. She took some food but was hardly able to swallow it. By afternoon, it was quite obvious that her condition was deteriorating. At six that evening, I found her dead.

There was nothing more to do but to pass the bad news to Yeoh and then bury her under my longan tree. Well, perhaps that was her fate. May she rest in peace.

A contrast to those wonderful people I wrote about yesterday.

Yesterday, I wrote about people whom I know to be some of the most wonderful people in the world, with not just plenty of love for their fellow humans but also for the animals. I also questioned how many would stop to help someone whom they do not know.

Well, today I read in the Star online that a hungry man waiting for his meal to break his fast during this holy month became angry with the waiter. upon being told that he would have to wait his turn as meals are delivered according to the placing of the order with the earlier orders delivered first before coming to the later orders, he lost his temper and beat up the poor waiter who was merely doing his job. Only the other waiters came to help to pacify the man while the others refused to be involved, allowing the poor waiter to be beaten up for about ten minutes when the other waiters had to run away when the man started to use the chairs to hit them.

According to the Star newspaper, a witness said, "The co-workers ran away, after which the man beat the victim for over 10 minutes before leaving. The other diners did not intervene." See! None of the others bothered to lift a finger to help the poor waiter. Here was a human in trouble; what if it had been just a little animal!

So, I was not exaggerating when I wrote that it takes goodness and greatness and all those beautiful humane qualities to be as God would have us be; to be sympathetic, compassionate and loving. Some people just do not have those qualities.

They are some of the most wonderful people on earth.

Yesterday, as I was trekking up the hill at Semarak, I saw this friend, Ah Fook, struggling down the hill with a big dog in his arms. Ah Fook was at most times suffering from pain in his joints due to gout. Nevertheless, there he was, his body bent sideways to support the dog which was hurt in its belly and one of its legs.

Seeing him almost unable to carry on any further with his task, I quickly offered him my help to take over his task. Even though I was stronger, I still found the dog sufficiently heavy to wish to reach the bottom of the hill as quickly as possible with it in my arms, as my arms were feeling the strain of its weight.

When we reached the foot of the hill, Ah Fook was just behind me, anxious more for the dog than for his painful joints. I put the dog, which was unable to walk, under a tree. It was too early to get the right type of medicine for it. So we had to leave it there with Ah Fook insisting on coming back later with the medicine for the dog.

The dog was fortunate to have a friend in Ah Fook as, with his help, the dog was certainly much better this morning. Ah Fook brought along food as well as the medicine for the dog and it surely was hungry for it quickly gobbled up every little piece of food that was brought. Ah Fook is obviously one of those beautiful people who not only love his fellow humans but also the animals that could be tamed. I believe he could even love a tiger if the tiger had allowed him to go close enough.

Ah Fook is not the only person I know of who cares for all living things. Yeoh, a small beautiful lady, has just as big and great a heart as the best of all the wonderful people I know. Once she heard about a couple who had to move elsewhere to work, leaving two dogs in their house unattended. Yeoh immediately offered to help, driving out of her way to feed the dogs using her own money and wash the area the dogs had to stay. After many months, when she got a place of her own; she was staying with her sister before this; she asked the couple for permission to take those two dogs home so that she could care for them. What a gal!

Not only that! Once a friend's cat was sick. No, it was actually not this friend's cat. This friend, Teoh, saw a poor cat knocked down by a car. It laid on the ground attempting without success to move. Teoh went out of his car to see what he could do for the cat. He found it with a hurt leg, quickly took it into his car and drove home. Uncertain as to what to do, he phoned Yeoh and Yeoh phoned me to ask my son to look at the cat to see what was wrong with it. So, it was that they came to my place at about eleven that morning. No bones seem to be broken, just pain and trauma, so the four of us took it to a shop which sells medicine for animals and then took it along for our lunch as by then it was well past one o'clock.

Well, a cat took up so much of Teoh's and Yeoh's time although it was the first time they have ever laid eyes on it. Would every human do the same for any animal? Well, not every human. That is why I consider such friends extraordinary. I believe God will always look after such wonderful people. If only the world is populated by such wonderful humans, what a beautiful world this would be. God would be so proud of us too.

Do gays come from God?

Recently, there was much discussion in the internet concerning gays when news revealed that a gay pastor was marrying her boyfriend. It caught my attention and I must say that I could not help but went into the net to find the truth.

As far as I know gays are what they are because of their feelings. Mentally and emotionally, they are of one sex while possessing the body of another. Poor them! It's like having to fit their round bodies into square spaces; perhaps the other way around.

This pastor, for example has a male body but his or her mind and emotions are female. With the mind and emotions of a female, she falls for a male, obviously.

But then, many are of the opinion that such minds and emotions are either cultivated or a result of certain unfortunate or undesirable desires of the gay.So, what is the truth? The truth, I believe, is important as we should not hamper or obstruct a person who genuinely think and feel as a female if that person could only find happiness in being one. It would be wrong of us to deny a person his/her right to find happiness in this world as long as he/she hurts no one.

So, into the internet I went and read about a pair of male twins, one of whom behaved like a female even from the age of eighteen months. Certainly, someone at that tender age cannot have thought of changing the sex he was given at birth. Could it have been in the genes? Yet, the other twin was behaving correctly for his sex! So, it was not genes, perhaps!? And when asked at a later age whether he was happy with feeling and thinking like a female, he gave an affirmative answer. Now, scientist have not come to the conclusion that it was genes. Still, that male child grew up with all the emotions and thoughts of a female. Like it or not, that child was a gay even before he understood anything about differences in sex.

Then again, there was another research that found gays are most often found in all boys' families. How is that so? Scientist are still trying to find a reason for it. Scientist have not come out with a firm verdict on how gays come about. However, from the study on the twins, it is a fact that a male child as young as eighteen months feel and therefore behave like a female. Can we fault this gay? Apparently, he was created this way. It needs not be considered a mistake of God in creating a gay just as we do not look upon the blind, the deaf, the dumb and the crippled as mistakes in God's creation. I would say they were created with a mission on earth. It could have been the mission to inspire the ordinary who finds no incentive to achieve more. This, in fact, was again indicated to me what had earlier dawned upon me; especially when I was having a five-year old blind girl pianist overwhelm me with her talent at the piano. If she can perform so well at that age despite her supposedly handicap, why can't we ordinary folks do better with our own capabilities? For myself, I am fortunate to have these people remind me to strive even harder and achieve even more; as a result of which I do three types of jobs, teaching, breeding and massaging, at the age of sixty-five despite having retired as a school teacher for ten years.

And because of them, I appreciate what I have even more so much so I use all my capabilities as much as possible for as long as possible. No, I am not tired from doing so much and enjoying so much; I am happy.

Coming back to gays, perhaps it is time ordinary people allow them space to live their lives as befits their mind and emotions. Let us be more understanding, more sympathetic, more compassionate with our fellow humans. Let us not create more pain and suffering. As it is there is sufficient pain throughout the world to not need us to add to it.

Bags can be dangerous to children.

Children are creative. They explore. The go into places no adult would want or dare to go. Because of that we must watch out for children at play.

It is not just bags that present danger to children. Actually, many things are dangerous. Even children playing at hide and seek might want to hide in narrow spaces, spaces too narrow to come out of. This year alone, I have read of two children, each from a different country, squeeze themselves into tiny openings between two walls or partitions to hide themselves from their playmates to find themselves unable to get out of the places. The authorities had to be summoned to help with their axes and hammers.

Coming back to the topic of bags, there was the kid who had this plastic bag which he thought could be used to cover himself. Fate was unkind to him and the parents found the poor child suffocated.

The other day, a friend told me about a neighbour who left her two children in the house while she went elsewhere. The younger sibling decided to hide from the sister by entering a big bag and somehow managed to close it. Or was it the sister who noticed him getting into the bag and closed him inside? This is more probable as it would be difficult to lock oneself in. Anyway, the sister panicked when she found she could not unlock the bag to get her brother out. Her screams of fear attracted the attention of this friend. He went to investigate and found the child locked inside the bag. And the bag was one of those which had combination locks which could only be opened if you know the numbers.

Unable to open the bag, this friend quickly phoned the neighbour to tell her the predicament. However, as she could not remember the combinations, the only way was to break open the bag with a big chisel. Fortunately, he managed to break it open for the young boy to escape from suffocation. The young boy was already weak and sweating by the time he was rescued.

Of course, anything that can be entered and become too difficult to escape from because the door can be too tight or locked is a danger to adventurous children. There was a case of a child trapped in a refrigerator. I cannot remember what happened after that but that is immaterial. The fact is such things can become a danger to our children.

Well, it is obvious that children ought to be taught the danger of playing with such things. Tell them about these things whenever there is news of such dangers. Direct their attention to such dangers and tell them the consequences. Explain to them what can possibly happen when children like them play with such things.

Some people say children are too young to learn such things. That is just not true. Children are clever and can understand such dangers if parents take the trouble to slowly and painstakingly explain with lots of examples how death can occur and what death means; the lost chance to see the siblings and parents as well as their friends, the lost chance to enjoy the many things in life. Use examples that they can understand. If they like ice-cream, tell them there will be no more opportuity to enjoy ice-cream. If they love their grandma, they not have the chance to be hugged and loved by their grandma. These are things children will understand.

Faith comes from experience.

Last night I was with another Buddhist family and our talk drifted to the strength of one's faith. It is a story of how sincerity and true love for one's 'brother' lead a man to accept a religion.

First of all, before I continue, let me repeat what i have said all this while: I belong to no religion but have a strong belief in God. I know, it's most contradictory for some people but that is how it is. Through personal experiences, I know and feel His presence but religion; that is a totally different story as religion has been messed up by people. Still, I have a healthy respect for all religions.

However, today it is not about me. It is about a young man a friend knew. He grew up deprived of his parents presence. Look after by relatives, he understood the toughness of life. With parents who left nothing to him when they passed away, he depended upon an uncle, his own father's brother.

Without any parents, he grew up always having insufficient funds to finance his education, wants and needs. The uncle always advised him to stop schooling and start working to have money for himself. Luckily for this guy in Penang, his uncle lived near a church in Macalister Road where there was a church. Although his and his uncle's family were Buddhist, the church came to know of his problems. The church was caring enough to provide him with school fees, money for second-hand books and clothing. Otherwise, he would have to drop out of school very early in life.

At form three level, he passed his examination with such good grades that the uncle (imagine that!) became jealous of his results and commented that he should stop schooling then and get a job with his Lower Certificate of Examination results to support his own life. Even the aunt was flabbergasted with the husband's remarks. What kind of job can the young boy of fifteen do to support himself? Apparently, the uncle was unhappy because this young man achieved better results than his sons.

Fortunately, there was always the church and the people there who constantly gave verbal as well as monetary support. Eventually, he got his School Certificate at form five and was able to get a job. With a job and a place of his own, he attended church and became a Christian. Some people were aghast with his embracing Christianity. Yet, these people did not realise that his position then was only made possible by the amazing love that he received from people he did not know, people who were not even related to him. Help came from loving hearts that grew in a church.

I would say he has done the right thing. Perhaps I would have condemned him if he had done otherwise, although I do not believe in condemning people for their choice of religion.

God gives us the choice. That is my belief. Since God is all powerful, and who among us can say otherwise, if he does not want us to have any other choice but one particular religion, he would have not given it existence. Don't worry is you disagree for I respect your religion and God.

How do you get your children to be interested.

How can anyone be interested if he does not even know such a thing exists? For a child to be interested in anything, he must first see it, know the beauty of the thing, appreciate that beauty and is given the opportunity to try it. Without all those mentioned, the interest in anything cannot be ignited. It remains unknown, dormant, unrealised and impossible to appreciate.

Take an artist. He must know that there are pencils, brushes, charcoal or pieces of wood or stone. Then he must have a surface to make marks with them and realise he can create something of beauty with them. However, there must also be talent. Without talent he cannot create beauty. However, to discover that talent, he needs the opportunity to use the materials and through their use realise the inborn ability within him. When that realisation is reached, the desire to create is sufficiently great to bring about some form of accomplishment. And should there be appreciation from the parents, relatives and the public, then there is encouragement. Encouragement brings inspiration to greater achievement.

So it is the same with our children. A simple word for all the steps to bring out such possible talent is exposure. As parents, we could give our children as much exposure as possible to everything available in our world. Observe the interest shown by the child, encourage the interest and permit it to go to any level the child may want to climb. Make accessible all necessary materials; as much materials as is affordable. Then, leave the rest to the natural growth of the child's development.

All these might not bring great wealth financially, but the richness of his emotional, physical and mental development will suffice to make him a man of enthusiasm, the happiest and most satisfied, a developed adult who would have found his own niche and has forever a place in life, never worried that he has too much time on his hands, always interested in life. If that is not enough reason to strive to bring out the best in an individual, I don't know what is.

Lessons from the life of Abraham Lincoln.

Today I read about one of the most famous man in the world who got where he was through true grit and determination. His life is a series of failures that only ended in success through his ability to face hardship and overcome the many obstacles that stood in his path. He is none other than the 16th president of the United States, President Abraham Lincoln.

This man was born into poverty, so poor that his parents were driven out of their land in 1816 and young Lincoln had to do rough and tough jobs to support them when the family moved to then Perry County in Indiana. At the age of nine, he lost his mother.

Then, in 1832, at the age of 23 years, he started a small general store with a friend. He sold out his share of the store to the friend who died soon after leaving him to settle a debt of one thousand dollars. Unable to pay the debt, he became a bankrupt which took him 17 years to settle. Yet, his will to succeed did not lessen.

Even in love, it was no smooth sailing as his first love died even before the proposed marriage. His second match with a woman did not lead to marriage either. Eventually, his luck came in the form of Mary Todd and they were married till death did them part. Their successful married life is a lesson to those who have failed in their very first love.

Lincoln became a lawyer through his own study. In 1837, he was admitted to the bar and from then on we find his contempt for slavery. To act on this, he entered politics where he lost many times before he was elected. His election to the state legislature was only successful at his second attempt. After that he lost when he sought to be the speaker of the state legislature. He lost again when he ran for Congress and was only successful at his second attempt. As a congressman, he did a good job. Yet he failed to be re-elected two years later.

He failed in many things. He failed to get the post of land officer in his own state. He failed to become a senator. He failed to get his party's nomination for vice-presidency.

Such failures could have stopped a lesser man. Yet, in 1860, he was elected the President of the united States of America.

As the president, he turned to his mission of freeing the slaves. To him it was an injustice that could only bring harm to the nation to have masters and slaves. In the eyes of God, all men are equal. In the eyes of this president, all citizens are equal and his greatest mission was to rid the country of slavery. It took a war to do it and he unknowingly gave his life to achieve it, for just six days after the surrender of the Confederate Army to his cause, he was assassinated.

From the story of his life, he must have been given the mission to end slavery in America. To me, he not merely ended slavery in America, he showed the world that all men are born equal and slavery as well as ideas of master race are an injustice which should never be allowed to happen. Never in any religion or God-fearing people can such ideas of slaves and masters be promoted. Even our all powerfult God never consider Himself to be Man's master. He is God, our creator.

For the love of her mom.

I have heard about this lady quitting her last job in a big international company to take on a smaller post in a comparatively smaller company from some of her friends. I have often wondered what had happened to cause her to take such a move.

Today I was fortunate to have the beautiful lady come to my house. After talking on some health topics, I found out that she was working today, a Sunday in Malaysia. Here, when it comes to a lot of offices, they are closed on Sundays. So, her having to be in the office on a holiday got me wondering about the need to attend to office work when everyone else is resting.

She explained about her duty as the head of a department to ensure all the work would be completed and only a small percentage of it allowed to be carried forward to the next day. The amount of work could not be cleared recently due to someone being sick for the last few weeks. Listening to her talk about her duty I felt she really had a heart of gold.

Since we were talking about her work I took the opportunity to enquire about her previous post in that bid international company with its main office in the United States. She told me it was because of her mom who was getting more and more serious with her high blood pressure.

It was at that stage that the company wanted her to be the director of operations in the East Pacific Area and to move to station herself in the Hong Kong area. That being the case, she wondered how getting her mom to the new place would affect her health. Without her, the mother had no one to look after her. Her post was high and the pay was big. So, she had to choose between her successful career and her mother.

What would you choose? Well, where she was concerned, her mother came first. She left her big pay-check and returned to Kedah to care for her mom and found another job with a small company and, of course, a much smaller pay. What a great sacrifice she had made! She is one great lady!

However, she is happy with the smaller pay as the lifestyle is different. Her present way of living does not require so much money. She is happy to be with the mother whose blood pressure has gone down to normal again. And she is just as happy to be with her friends, friends like me, you see.

But then, according

Keep a watchful eye on the helpless.

Today we read about the abduction of a four-day-old baby from the living room of his house by a wild monkey. It fled with the baby up the roof, bit the baby and dropped it to the ground where it died.

Such incidents may be rare but the possibility of it happening is always present. Nowadays, animals and humans present a danger to the helpless. There are always humans ready to pounce to profit from whatever is available. There are always desperate people who may just be looking for the opportunity to get hold of a few ringgit. As for the monkeys, their foraging area is getting smaller as man move further into the outskirts to develop areas which was once jungle, the home of monkeys and wild animals.

Up the hill near Taman Semarak where I have my daily exercise, more and more monkeys are seen, taking the fruits on the trees in that area. When the fruits are all gone, I wonder where they are going to get their food. With food exhausted, what would these monkeys do? They would venture into housing estates to get fruits planted by the residents and when those are no longer sufficient, hunger might drive them into kitchens and houses. So, the monkey which went into that infant's living room could have been searching for its much needed food and found the poor helpless 'creature' a possible meal. The cries of the infant upon being bitten could have frightened it to release him/her to have him/her fall all the way down to the ground.

It is time we think of the monkeys and other animals which have been deprived of their habitat. There must be some kind of plan to give sufficient space for them. We ought not to be too greedy, thinking only of humans only. In fact there are buildings that are not fully utilised. Do we really need those buildings. Perhaps some of the building could be built with multi-purposes in mind. Whatever it is, we should think of the animals which are also creations of God and make sure they have a place under our sun.

Everywhere, there is a hero.

I am touched each time I read of someone doing more than is asked of him/her in times of need. To me, they are the true heroes whom we must stop awhile to appreciate the efforts of these people. And today, in The Star newspaper, I read of such a man, a Yii Yuk Seng, a middle-aged man from Sarikei, Sarawak. He was retired from the Fire and Rescue Department but when he saw a fire at six three-storey shoplots on Saturday, without thinking of his own safety he went to help the firemen put out that fire. In doing so, he lost his life due to a heart attack that must have been brought on by the excitement and strenuous efforts he put in to assist the firemen to put out the fire.

Putting out fires was a job he must have been actively involved in; not just being involved but someone who has had great pride in the tasks for he was known to the local people as 'Bomba Yii'. To earn such a nickname, he must have been well-known for his courage and performance. Although it is sad for the world to lose such a man, God has ensured that he chose the right path to go. The people who knows him would always remember that 'Bomba Yii' went down fighting a fire. And here is one son Sarawak will always be proud of.

Of course there are many in this beautiful world who are like him, possessing the same qualities he has. And it is this fact that make life such a wonderful thing; realising the fact that we live among great people such as this 'Bomba Yii'. May God send us more of his kind.

Whose life are we actually concerned about? The Indian Star Tortoise's?

Today I finally decided not to wait for a reply to my appeal for a permit from the office of the Protection of wildlife to keep my two Indian Star tortoises. I phoned a reporter to help me reach out to more authorities so that the voice of truth, reason and concern can be heard. Unfortunately she was not able to make it to my place and promises to phone back one day when her schedule permits her to do so. I shall wait for I have waited quite some time now.

Well, about eight years ago I bought two Indian Star tortoises from a pet and fish shop in Penang Island. At that time these two cute little ones were approximately the size of a fifty cent coin. I looked after them each day giving them attention and food. Gradually they grew bigger and bigger with the female enlarging itself faster than the male. Today, the female is almost double the size of the male. They have grown so healthily and strong in the large enclosure I have given them.

Never in my mind was there the thought that one day I would have to apply for a permit for them, what more to fail to get the permit and not receive a reply after I had made an appeal before the date when they would enforce the law, for at the time I got them at the shop, Indian Star tortoises were sold openly not just in that shop but in almost every pet and fish shop in the country. I know that for a fact as I am an animal lover and where there are animals to see, there I would be. In those days, especially when my wife was still around, we went even up to fish and pet shops in Malacca. As for the other places, I have heard from people with similar interests that they can be bought from other states too and they were always sold openly. Today you cannot find them for sale anywhere.

Then, I read about the International Trade in Endangered Species Act(Intesa)2008 which was gazetted to come into force on December 28, 2009. The ministry concerned has announced a six-month grace period from the date of enforcement of the Act until June 28, 2010. According to the Secretary-General of the Natural Resources and Environment Ministry, during the grace period, private owners who have in their possession CITES-listed species that were attained before the enforcement of Intesa may apply for a special permission letter from the relevant authorities starting from Feb 17 to June 28, 2010. However, the issuance of a special permission letter is subjected to terms and conditionsdetermined by the authorities.

As I felt that all I needed to do was to apply for the special permission, that was what I did for my four pig-nosed turtle and my two Indian Star tortoises. Unfortunately, I was told that Special permission was given for my pig-nosed turtle only and I was to surrender my tortoises to any one of the offices for the protection of wildlife. Since I fear for the safety and survival of my Star tortoises, I wrote them an appeal.

I must thank the lady officer in the Sungai Petani Protection of Wildlife office for after hearing my reason for appealing she took the trouble to even rush to get me the forms for my appeal and I filled up the form and had it sent back to her at the office. She went the extra mile to get the form to me in front of the Taman Intan surau (mosque) so that my appeal could reach the higher authorities before June 28 2010. Then I waited for the answer but except for a phone call from the Alor Star office informing me that my appeal would be rejected, I have yet to receive a letter to that effect. I had told the person who phoned me that once I had been officially informed I wished to appeal through the newspapers and perhaps any other authority which could offer to listen to the voice of reason.

As I have stated in my appeal, I had requested for reconsideration as the tortoises had been with me for eight years and animals kept for so long from the wild would not be able to survive should it be released in the wild again. And if they are to be taken from me to be reared by someone else, could such a person know them better than me, the person who has looked after them for so many years? I have heard of many who failed to look after their Indian Star tortoises well enough to have them survive for long. What guarantee would there be that my pets would be given the best chances of survival? Who are we concerned about? Are not these tortoises' welfare the concern of all animal loving authorities? If so, should not the person who have proved beyond doubt that he knows these tortoise well enough to have ensured their growth and development the one to be allowed to look after them?

Well, I hope there would be people who truly think of the welfare of the animals in deciding the best action to take. If they listen to the voice of truth and reason, then the action they ought to take should be obvious.

An active grandchild is the best present to a grandma.

At my age there are lots of grandmas I come across. Most of them are too plump, too sedentary, always in a lazy chair in front of the television.

However, there is one grandma I know of who just does not have the pleasure of relaxing too much in front of the entertainment box. This grandma happens to be one of those lucky people who have a young, very energetic grandchild. From the minute he is awake until his sleep late at night, there is no rest for the adults in the house except when relief comes from the little guy's nap which they certainly look forward to each day.

Well, nowadays, more often than not, the parents have to be away from the home to be at work somewhere else. So, who is the fortunate one to be given the responsibility of looking after the little guy? It's none other than the old grandma. Yes, the grandma if not the grandpa. And being a widowed grandma, she is the only one saddled with the child.

But that does not mean that you should pity her. Maybe you would but I would not as from my point of view it is a blessing in disguise. Without grandpa to pamper, grandma finds life quite boring, each day cooking a little and then sitting in front of the television to while the time away. That would mean less muscles being worked, muscles soften and turn to fat, resulting in a weak body, the heavy mass of flesh assisted by gravity to pressure down on a good number of joints, jamming them together, and the backbone gradually curve into a hunch with all kind of possible pains and problems.

Now, with a child to look after, to chase after to ensure he does not end up in dangerous places or positions which could bring a fall; to carry off the child from naughty acts in places that are harmful; and just to attend to his/her needs would be enough to give grandma sufficient exercise to burn up excess calories, increase metabolism and build or tone up some muscles, in the process improving the immunity of the body. Not only that, at the end of the day, unlike some old folks who suffer from insomnia, she would have a very deep, much needed sleep. Grandma must thank God for sending her that present, a grandchild.

And the most wonderful part of it all is her happiness. She is so much happier than those aimless days before the coming of this grandchild. Each day there is a growing grandchild she has the responsibility for, putting meaning into her life and a quiet pride that she could still manage to be useful.

There is always a rainbow somewhere. Look for it and it can be found.

Who makes it a money world?

"The garden of the house has been overgrown with plants here, there and everywhere. Some time ago we had a maid and so it was fairly easy to keep the place clean and tidy but since mum passed away, we have done away with the maid and except for me, there has been no one else to help cut the unwanted plants that seem to grow so easily without any attention or care," she complained to this willing listener.

"well, my dear girl, you still have your father, your brother and his children,' I reminded her.

"Yeah, that's true. However, my father at eighty plus is too old to do much. As for my brother and his children, they stay some distance away and are hardly seen whenever there is work to be done," she explained.

"So, what do you have in mind?" I asked.

"Could you come and help? I do not mind paying somebody to clean cut the plants and clear the mess in my garden," she told me.

Here I am with already too much work to put into twenty-four hours a day and this friend hopes to get some of my time. I was certainly not able to give much time to anybody then and since she has a brother with healthy boys, I felt it unnecessary to offer any assistance.

Then, this morning when I saw her she started complaining the minute she saw me. She told me that she had asked her brother and the children to help out. At first, there was no response until she offered ten ringgit each for the help. Fortunately, that was sufficient to bring themand so the clearing of the place started.

However, she soon realised that the father was so happy to see the grandchildren that he had quickly distributed ten ringgit each to all of them soon after starting. And you know what? With the money safely in their pockets, the brother disappeared from the scene to be followed soon after that by the children. And so it was that she did not managed to get the place properly cleared.

"If it had been some workers, I can understand that they came just for the money. But here are her own brother and nephews, people who ought to give a helping hand without any spoken request. Yet, despite the 'carrot' of ten ringgit, the work was not done satisfactorily," she lamented.

"Well, I don't think it's the children's fault. Somebody has been in the habit of rewarding them with money for every small deed that they had performed," I could not help but told her.

"Yeah, lo! It's my father. He's always giving those children money for running errands, for helping around and for everything. They come expecting some money each time. And when no money is forthcoming, they run at the first mention of work. Children nowadays are so different," she expressed that thought sadly.

Sometimes, parents teach their children wrong values and grandparents pamper them so much that the children just knew how to get the grandpa to respond correctly to their wishes. Children are clever and old folks are too doting where their grandchildren are concerned. In such circumstances children perform not out of love and care but for the money and whatever else that they can get.

Laws must be made to protect someone. Yet, ....

It was last year, I think, I read from the Star newspaper that those in possession of certain species of animals have to report to the wildlife department and request for special permission to keep them.

As an animal and fish lover, I have kept at one time or another canaries, budgerigars, pigeons, rabbits, chickens, geese, turkeys, ducks and various kinds of fish such as the angel-fish, goldfish, zebra fish, discus fish, bettas and many others, always caring for them and breeding them when they matured.

At the time when I read the news report regarding having to request for special permission to keep certain species, I have in my possession two Star Tortoise which I have kept for about eight years since my retirement as a teacher and four pig-nosed turtles which i have reared for more than two years. And according to the news report they were the ones requiring special permission to keep.

Well, I certainly would want to keep them as I love those tortoises and turtles. They are so cute and beautiful. So, with a sincere desire to do my part for them, I approached the wildilfe department in Sungai Petani. I was told there was no such instructions and that I could leave my address behind so that should anything crop up they could inform me. I was wary of that, it was true. So I told them I would be back another time.

Then, early this year the same report appeared in the Star again and I approached the same wildlife department and this time they told me they were conscious of the matter and I was given a faxed form from the Alor Star department. I filled up the form and posted it. An acknowledgement letter dated 29 April 2010 was received.
However, when the special permit came, I was shocked and disappointed that I was given permission only to keep the pig-nosed turtle but not the Star Tortoise.

So, I immediately sent an appeal to the department to be allowed to keep my two beloved Star Tortoises, a pair of two beautiful pets I have loved and cared for for eight long years. In my letter of appeal I request that my application to keep them ought to be given consideration as I have kept them since they were the size of fifty-cent coins. Furthermore, as any wildlife officer would have realised, animals kept for so long by humans cannot survive in the wild as they have been fed special food that cannot be found in the wild. To return them to the wild is to send them to their death. Certainly that is not the intention of those people who thought of laws to protect those in the wild. So, they need special care which I believe I am capable of providing as proved by their good growth. In fact, I am very confident that soon they would be breeding. In doing so I would be ensuring that the species would not threatened with extinction.

The lady officer in the wildlife department was sympathetic to my cause and even wnet the extra mile to have my appeal reach the main department before the date when the law would come into effect.

Then, in July, another lady officer rang me and inform me that a letter was being prepared to be sent to me to inform me that the appeal cannot be considered. Apparently, despite all my reasoning with her, she could not change her decision. When I talked of the possibility of breeding those Star Tortoise, she even told me breeding would also be an offence. I told her breeding among animals is a natural process which no law can consider an offence. Thus, I ended the conversation with my request for the letter so that I could appeal through the press and possibly ambassador or government of India, as I was also told that the Indian government had insisted that all Star Tortoises be sent back to it. Anyway, unless and until I am sure my Star Tortoises would not face misery and death, I intend to care for them as I love my pets. Anyway, I have talked to some people regarding this matter and they agreed that whatever law which comes into effect should not penalise those who have already been rearing those animals which had been bought legally.

Talking about legality, I was even told by the lady that back then in 2002, those Star Tortoise had been smuggled in and so I was supposed to be keeping smuggled goods. Oh my gosh! If those Star Tortoises were smuggled animals, why were we never informed then or earlier. I read widely and nowhere did I come across such information. And those pets were sold openly in almost every pet shop in the country. It is only this year that i was told by one shop that its Star Tortoise was not for sale, only for show as they are not allowed to sell. In my mind I was thinking if I was keeping smuggled goods, who had abetted this innocent culprit?

And with that, one question lingered at the back of my mind. Should not those who have bought the animals earlier be given a special permit, just like we give permits for keeping our endangered 'Murai Hutan'?

I am still waiting for my letter from the department so that I can reach out to the higher authorities to be allowed to keep my pets. After all, this is the least I can do for my beloved pets, certainly not just giving them to someone unsure of ensuring their health and safety. This is my responsibility.

Furthermore, whose interest would the law be protecting if it removes the ones supposed to be protected from its present safe surroundings and care to a more precarious and uncertain future?

Enjoy your children's presence.

Last night, I met four Asian Scholarship aspirants and their parents.

The children were very confident young people with hopes of being selected to study in Singapore. They faces reflect their confidence and the desire to meet whatever challenges that may come their way. Such is the beauty of youth.

Looking at them I remembered the time my two children were selected after primary school to choose the premier school in Kedah, the Sultan Abdul Hamid or the Pokok Sena Sains School, both of them residential schools. They were offered the places on different years as one is the older of the other. Each time, I took them to have a look at the places so that they could make their own choice. Even though they were at the age of twelve years, I believe they should be allowed that after I have explained to them firstly the advantages and disadvantages that I have learned about in taking up the offers or staying put in a school in Sungai Petani. I explained to them what I thought and what others thought of the offers. Of course, it was a tough choice.

My wife and I had always enjoyed the pleasure of our children's presence at home, and we have always planned our out of work time so that our children can enjoy their interests with us. And so on the day we discovered that we might soon had to part, we were so glad that we had given so much of our time to them. Yes, they did decide to go to the residential science school in Pokok Sena. We were happy for them but we were sad too as we would have so little time with them after that.

But I have always believed that nothing, even our own needs, must stand in the way of our children development and progress. So it was that we had our first experience of separation of love.

We were not to know that for the next one week we could not sleep well, always thinking of what our elder son was doing in that school. Was he alright? Was everything fine? What about the numerous new children that he had been placed in a dorm with. How comfortable was he among so many strangers? Those thoughts assailed us and caused us sleepless nights as we looked forward to the weekend when we would be allowed to travel about 100 kilometers to meet our beloved children.

For Kedah, the weekend starts on a Friday. So it was that a Friday in 1999 saw us going along the highway to Alor Star and from there moved North-East towards that little town of Pokok Sena. For the next three years we made the weekly trip to that place, each time planning on taking our children out some place for them to relax and enjoy before having to return, they to their school and us to our homes for another seven days. Then my poor wife passed away and I had to make the weekly trip to their school alone for the next three years before again still having to miss them as they went on to tertiary education in universities in Malaysia. Now, one of them have passed out but has already flown off to his new job in Langkawi.

So I have always told parents to enjoy their children and be with them as often as time permits for they will grow fast and soon their progress will take them away to whatever future awaits them. I am happy for my children's progress and happiness but that can never lessen the feeling of missing them.

And whenever we can we meet and delight in each other's presence. Thank God, we are so very close.