As I looked at this neighbour, it dawned upon me the amount of sacrifices a parent have to sometimes make to bring up a child who is handicapped.
This neighbour has a son who was involved with an accident as a result of which he was unable to walk. To go anywhere there is the need for a wheelchair. To go anyplace far there is need for transport from the gate of the house. As the family is not exactly rich, they have no car and have to depend upon relatives and friends to provide the necessary transport.
The family moved to this present location so as to be near the primary school where the child is studying. Each morning, the mother would push the child in his wheelchair to the school which is about two hundred metres from their home.
That is not all. In this case the child is also very demanding, sometimes shouting at the top of his voice. Most of the time, perhaps understanding his frustrating situation, the mother would tolerate his nonsense but once in a while there would be some disagreement and quarrel would ensue. Yet, she attends to him well each day without fail.
Giving attention to the child must have cost the family a lot of time, time which a not so rich family could have put to use to obtain more income and have a better life. Thus, such a family has to endure some form of hardship. Life is tough of course but the family, especially the mother is ever so positive and kind to the child. Well, such is the love of a mother.
So, love pulls us through no matter what difficulty may arise. Difficulties are temporary but love remains forever even when the person is no longer there.
Showing posts with label resilience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label resilience. Show all posts
Monday, July 12, 2010
Friday, July 17, 2009
The desire to try. Part 1.
"Hey, that's something new."
"Sure, but it looks so black and the noodles are thick."
"Have you taken it before?" I asked.
"No, I rather not have it. I don't know the taste."
"If none of us know how it tastes, let's try it. I'll get two plates of it for us." I insisted.
After eating the 'Hokkien Char', a fried noodle dish with dark thick soya sauce, my friend smilingly admitted it was tasty and she would like to order that again another time.
"See, we must always order things we have not eaten before to get to know their taste. Ohterwise, we'll never know what we'll miss," I told her.
Yes, unless something is obviously too dangerous or wrong to do, we must try it.
Imagine what would have happened if nature had not imbued us with the desire to try things out, to imitate or to attempt the so called impossible.
Beginning with our precious children, if they had not tried to walk at the time when they could not, they would have been unable to do so. Despite the weakness in their legs, they pulled their bodies forward, then crawled and eventually waddled forward clumsily, sometimes to fall, perhaps cry, but to persist until they had strengthen their legs, improved their coordination and straighten their bodies to walk upright just like us.
If they had not tried to talk when they could not, they would have remained mute forever. Fortunately, the desire to try was a natural instinct in them. They uttered unfathomable language, babbled incoherently for a time before their tongues, jaws and mouth managed to coordinate to give out language; initially words, then phrases and clauses ending up with sentences as they gained confidence.
How did they manage to do all that? First, there was the example. You, the parents and others in the surroundings. Yes, you are the ones who showed the way. Your child imitates your walk and your talk. That is the reason children brought up in the wilds by wolves walk around on all fours just as wolves do. And they snarled just as good as any wolf too.
Then, there was the encouragement from you. During the olden days when toys were less or less affordable, children still managed to walk because parents always gave praise for their efforts. Sometimes, over enthusiatic parents tried to quicken the process by forcing the child to walk before the bones had formed properly, resulting in bow-legged children and adults.Nevertheless, the joy of learning is always there in the child and so, though forced, the child would still be happily, laughingly swaying towards the parent.
Well, from the above, we can see how important good examples of what is possible and achievable is to our children and us.
After that, it ought to be encourage and praise, irregardless of the results of their attempts in achieving anything. Never ever let our children down with criticism of their amateurish performance. Even experts and artistes were amateurish while training to be good.
Look at those world-class gymnasts. Watch the ease with which they perform. That performance could not have been without the examples seen or the practices carried out so rigourously for a long period of time. It did not just happen. If they had been heaped upon with loads of criticism and disdain at the beginning of their learning, there would most probably have been no such gymnasts. The much needed confidence would have been lost.
I remember very well one ocassion where a little cried when her piano teacher told her that she has to practise at home if she wants to be good. Upon being asked the reason for her breaking down thus, she told the teacher she just could not find the time to practise. She had to attend to her studies. Why? Her mother hit her hands twice for getting an average of 95 marks. I was aghast at such revelation. I could not contain myself any longer and told her, this uncle who was a teacher then, seldom scored such a high average in an examination.(Yet, this uncle scored enough in the standard six examination in 1958 to be given a place in the then best school in Penang, The Penang Free School. When the child was not around anymore; I did not wish to undermine her confidence in her parents; I told the music teacher how sad it was that parents make such unreasonable demands on their children, putting them to such great stress. Further more, how many of us had ever scored so high marks constantly?
Thus, parents ought to teach their children using encouragement and praise for trying to achieve anything; and when our children are not up to the mark, we should let it on that we are proud of their attempts. The children will learn something for every attempt that they make. They will come to understand their strengths and their weaknesses as well as their limits. They will know of their capabilities, the possibilities and the probabilities in their lives.
How often have adults themselves given up just because they thought they were too clumsy or not knowledgeable enough for a job, even though those jobs could be done through a little know-how?
In a recession such as the present one, we will soon hear of success stories of people who still have the desire to try new jobs. As a saying goes: Just do it! And it can be done. Adults have to tell themselves they can and will as they face each new day. In magazines such as The Readers Digest, we have read of people failing even in good times, in ordinary times and recovering from their failure, learning from it to achieve even greater success.
"Sure, but it looks so black and the noodles are thick."
"Have you taken it before?" I asked.
"No, I rather not have it. I don't know the taste."
"If none of us know how it tastes, let's try it. I'll get two plates of it for us." I insisted.
After eating the 'Hokkien Char', a fried noodle dish with dark thick soya sauce, my friend smilingly admitted it was tasty and she would like to order that again another time.
"See, we must always order things we have not eaten before to get to know their taste. Ohterwise, we'll never know what we'll miss," I told her.
Yes, unless something is obviously too dangerous or wrong to do, we must try it.
Imagine what would have happened if nature had not imbued us with the desire to try things out, to imitate or to attempt the so called impossible.
Beginning with our precious children, if they had not tried to walk at the time when they could not, they would have been unable to do so. Despite the weakness in their legs, they pulled their bodies forward, then crawled and eventually waddled forward clumsily, sometimes to fall, perhaps cry, but to persist until they had strengthen their legs, improved their coordination and straighten their bodies to walk upright just like us.
If they had not tried to talk when they could not, they would have remained mute forever. Fortunately, the desire to try was a natural instinct in them. They uttered unfathomable language, babbled incoherently for a time before their tongues, jaws and mouth managed to coordinate to give out language; initially words, then phrases and clauses ending up with sentences as they gained confidence.
How did they manage to do all that? First, there was the example. You, the parents and others in the surroundings. Yes, you are the ones who showed the way. Your child imitates your walk and your talk. That is the reason children brought up in the wilds by wolves walk around on all fours just as wolves do. And they snarled just as good as any wolf too.
Then, there was the encouragement from you. During the olden days when toys were less or less affordable, children still managed to walk because parents always gave praise for their efforts. Sometimes, over enthusiatic parents tried to quicken the process by forcing the child to walk before the bones had formed properly, resulting in bow-legged children and adults.Nevertheless, the joy of learning is always there in the child and so, though forced, the child would still be happily, laughingly swaying towards the parent.
Well, from the above, we can see how important good examples of what is possible and achievable is to our children and us.
After that, it ought to be encourage and praise, irregardless of the results of their attempts in achieving anything. Never ever let our children down with criticism of their amateurish performance. Even experts and artistes were amateurish while training to be good.
Look at those world-class gymnasts. Watch the ease with which they perform. That performance could not have been without the examples seen or the practices carried out so rigourously for a long period of time. It did not just happen. If they had been heaped upon with loads of criticism and disdain at the beginning of their learning, there would most probably have been no such gymnasts. The much needed confidence would have been lost.
I remember very well one ocassion where a little cried when her piano teacher told her that she has to practise at home if she wants to be good. Upon being asked the reason for her breaking down thus, she told the teacher she just could not find the time to practise. She had to attend to her studies. Why? Her mother hit her hands twice for getting an average of 95 marks. I was aghast at such revelation. I could not contain myself any longer and told her, this uncle who was a teacher then, seldom scored such a high average in an examination.(Yet, this uncle scored enough in the standard six examination in 1958 to be given a place in the then best school in Penang, The Penang Free School. When the child was not around anymore; I did not wish to undermine her confidence in her parents; I told the music teacher how sad it was that parents make such unreasonable demands on their children, putting them to such great stress. Further more, how many of us had ever scored so high marks constantly?
Thus, parents ought to teach their children using encouragement and praise for trying to achieve anything; and when our children are not up to the mark, we should let it on that we are proud of their attempts. The children will learn something for every attempt that they make. They will come to understand their strengths and their weaknesses as well as their limits. They will know of their capabilities, the possibilities and the probabilities in their lives.
How often have adults themselves given up just because they thought they were too clumsy or not knowledgeable enough for a job, even though those jobs could be done through a little know-how?
In a recession such as the present one, we will soon hear of success stories of people who still have the desire to try new jobs. As a saying goes: Just do it! And it can be done. Adults have to tell themselves they can and will as they face each new day. In magazines such as The Readers Digest, we have read of people failing even in good times, in ordinary times and recovering from their failure, learning from it to achieve even greater success.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Vital ingredient to achievement of highest potential.
How many times have we fallen down on our buttocks when we were learning to walk? If there was pain, we naturally cried. Yet, we struggled up onto our wobbly legs and continued to walk. If we had given up then because of the pain, would we be walking well today? We are, by nature, resilient.
After all, the child who feels the pain each time he/she falls could have thought, “Since it is painful, what is the point of trying? And is it not the logical thing to do? There is always someone to carry the child anywhere he/she wants to go. Hah.. That is not exactly true. Parents may carry him/her but not certainly to the place the child has in mind. To reach the intended place, the child must put in some effort of his/her own. The ability to choose the place to go to is the motivation for the effort.
Yes, resilience has to be encouraged. There must be motivation. So, through motivation, children can be encouraged to be resilient; they must be shown or taught that losing a battle does not necessarily mean the loss of a war.
Tell our children of the numerous times Edison failed before his electric bulb could brighten our nights.
Tell our children of the Canadian doctor who was knocked down by cancer. When her doctor told her she had only three months left to live, she did not sit down and moan her fate. She searched for recovery and attended the basic course of The Art of Living. During that first course, she was carried in on a stretcher. In time to come, she walked in by herself. She recovered from her cancer! What resilience she has!
I have heard of another woman who recovered from 3rd stage cancer by eating flaxseed and other healthy food. What enthralled me most was the fact that this 3rd stage cancer patient did not give up regaining her health. She had the resilience to pick herself up again through positive action with the knowledge and experience of other people!
In gymnastics, there are many times when the beginner might just have given up with the difficulties encountered achieving certain movements of agility and balance as well as vaulting. Success lies in the hands of the coach. Assistance and encouragement are necessary to have the gymnast put in further effort and gain that little bit of extra confidence to pull himself or herself through; to help him/her to be more resilient.
To achieve our highest potential takes a lot of effort, time and the conquering of the many potholes in life. These could mean some kind of failure or obstacle on the way. If we falter or give up before the goal is reached, the potential can never ever be realized. To reach the goal, to accomplish whatever we can, we have to be resilient; we must have the strength to carry on despite the pain, despite the obstacles, despite the odds, despite anything.
The great inventors such as the Wright brothers did not give up when things did not go the way they wanted. They persisted and their resilience saw them through to give them a place in history and also us the planes to take us places.
Without a doubt, we must be resilient in achieving whatever goals we dream of. If ever we fail, and we are sure to have to face failure every now and then, we must get back up and going for whatever lies ahead. There is still so much to learn. As we learn, with the new knowledge that we gain, we discover there is so much more we can do, so much to achieve, so much more to accomplish, so much more meaning in life to experience!Wow!Let's look forward to whatever God has in store for us.
After all, the child who feels the pain each time he/she falls could have thought, “Since it is painful, what is the point of trying? And is it not the logical thing to do? There is always someone to carry the child anywhere he/she wants to go. Hah.. That is not exactly true. Parents may carry him/her but not certainly to the place the child has in mind. To reach the intended place, the child must put in some effort of his/her own. The ability to choose the place to go to is the motivation for the effort.
Yes, resilience has to be encouraged. There must be motivation. So, through motivation, children can be encouraged to be resilient; they must be shown or taught that losing a battle does not necessarily mean the loss of a war.
Tell our children of the numerous times Edison failed before his electric bulb could brighten our nights.
Tell our children of the Canadian doctor who was knocked down by cancer. When her doctor told her she had only three months left to live, she did not sit down and moan her fate. She searched for recovery and attended the basic course of The Art of Living. During that first course, she was carried in on a stretcher. In time to come, she walked in by herself. She recovered from her cancer! What resilience she has!
I have heard of another woman who recovered from 3rd stage cancer by eating flaxseed and other healthy food. What enthralled me most was the fact that this 3rd stage cancer patient did not give up regaining her health. She had the resilience to pick herself up again through positive action with the knowledge and experience of other people!
In gymnastics, there are many times when the beginner might just have given up with the difficulties encountered achieving certain movements of agility and balance as well as vaulting. Success lies in the hands of the coach. Assistance and encouragement are necessary to have the gymnast put in further effort and gain that little bit of extra confidence to pull himself or herself through; to help him/her to be more resilient.
To achieve our highest potential takes a lot of effort, time and the conquering of the many potholes in life. These could mean some kind of failure or obstacle on the way. If we falter or give up before the goal is reached, the potential can never ever be realized. To reach the goal, to accomplish whatever we can, we have to be resilient; we must have the strength to carry on despite the pain, despite the obstacles, despite the odds, despite anything.
The great inventors such as the Wright brothers did not give up when things did not go the way they wanted. They persisted and their resilience saw them through to give them a place in history and also us the planes to take us places.
Without a doubt, we must be resilient in achieving whatever goals we dream of. If ever we fail, and we are sure to have to face failure every now and then, we must get back up and going for whatever lies ahead. There is still so much to learn. As we learn, with the new knowledge that we gain, we discover there is so much more we can do, so much to achieve, so much more to accomplish, so much more meaning in life to experience!Wow!Let's look forward to whatever God has in store for us.
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