Dangerous fun for children too young to know it.

The other day I read a news item in the staronline in which a one-year-old baby’s playtime ‘turned tragic after he slipped from his father’s arms and fell to his death from the sixth-floor of a high-rise apartment in Pulau Tikus’ Georgetown.

The intention of the father was good as he wanted his little son to view the area below from their apartment’s balcony. Perhaps, he believed that such an experience could remove any fear of height from his son and that could be beneficial to his future. He was not to know that his son’s future was to end there and then. He dinot realize the danger he was putting his son’s life into. By the time he understands that danger, it was too late and forever will the memory of that tragic moment remain in his mind.

Such careless and dangerous thoughtless acts with a child can be seen almost everyday in so many various forms.

We have a parent leaving a child on a bicycle carrier as he/she pops quickly into a sundry shop to grab an item. While he/she is away, all it takes is some movement from the child to destabilise the bicycle to bring child and bicycle crashing to the ground. It is not important what could have caused the child to move. It could be some kind of distraction, an animal knocking into the bicycle, a strong wind or some careless movement of another human. A fall from a bicycle is not just a trauma; it can cause broken bones, brain damage and even cerebral palsy if a clot due to the fall prevents oxygen from reaching a part of the brain for even a short period of time.

There are parents who think it such great pleasure to take a child for a ride on their motorcycles. Let us face it. Any kind of mishap can take place. In such accidents, falls are expected. What is going to happen to that small frail child on the motorcycle? Of course, anyone can see that the danger is as much, if not more than the fall from a bicycle.

I have seen parents throw their babies up above their heads with the hands holding to the waist. Of course, like the baby who fell from the balcony of his apartment, there is no danger as long as the hands do not slip and as long as there is no fall. As we all know, such slips and fall are not intentional. They are not supposed to happen but once in a long while, we have read of them. So, why not play safe, especially when such actions are not really necessary.

It is delightful tosee our precious children have such great fun running all over the place, even on our roads, especially those in housing estates and rural areas. Yet, as adults we understand that roads are meant for traffic. The drivers never want sometime horrible to happen to children but accidents do happen. The important thing is that such accidents can be prevented. So, let us do our part. Let us be more careful with our precious ones.

Oh, yes! Was it yesterday I heard the news of a child who hurt his finger when he playfully put his hand in the way of an electric saw? Well, here is another case where adults got careless and allowed what should not be, happen.

Certainly, each festive season, we have read of the mischievious youngsters who are allowed to play with fireworks and fired away one or more of their fingers as well as other parts of their bodies. Parents have to be vigilant and constantly remind the children the dangers of such things.

As I have always said, the world is our AVA (Audio-Visual Aids). Use it everyday to teach our children the dangers and experiences of others. Show the children what can possibly happen using the television, newspapers, magazines and everyday happenings to stress to them the consequences.

In today’s posting, it looks like some adults too need to pay more attention to the AVA in our world to realise the danger of their play with their children.

Allow children to improve their five senses.

How can anyone know the results of any attempt before hand. Nobody can foretell the future. So, we will never know what tomorrow may bring. However, if we never gather the courage to try, we can never know whither such a move may lead us. Therefore, to strive for the best possible, there is no alternative but to go for it.

However, sometimes we have to experience failure before success comes. Knowing this, we should look upon any failure as just an indication that out talents are best put in another field or sphere. With that we know ourselves better, We understand better where our chances for success lies when there are choices to be made. Sometimes, we face two possible paths and at this juncture, we certainly would be at an advantage if we know which path gives us better possibilities and probabilities of success and happiness.

Therefore, we must dare to try so as to know ourselves better. Perhaps, from experience, we realise that we did not have the advantage of elders who would urge us or guide us to try. Even though we only realise this when the possibilities are less; I would never say that there is non left; we still can use this understanding to improve the lot of our children or our grandchildren.

Too often parents or guardians put a stop to the spirit of wanting to try out something; to be adventurous and curious, to know what lies behind something or beyond some place.

This came to mind the other day when I observed a grandparent quickly hiding things of putting things out of the curious grandchild's reach. The grandchild was sent to another direction when he started opening drawers and cupboards. Has the grandparent ever asked: Why does a child do that? It is the innate desire to explore, to find out, to be curious and so to know everything in his environment.

A child rummaging through the contents of a drawer, is learning and improving himself. Unless the things are dangerous or easily breakable, the child ought to feel the textures of the things, see the objects in the drawer, smell the plastic or wooden articles, listen to the sounds of movement of the things and, if possible taste all the contents in the drawer. The five senses will be exercised.

Each time the child is allowed to experience things through the five senses, the senses are developed. All the senses will be more sensitive. The child's learning ability would be enhanced.

Have you noticed that some of us depend more on just one or two senses. For example, we initially exercised our feeling of touch. Later, we go on to emotional feelings. However, some people have not been allowed to give rise to emothins and feelings. Feelings are sometimes suppressed by adults, not allowing children to voice their feeling on so many matters. As a result, such children do not feel as much for others or even their own selves.

Unreleased emothions or feelings can lead to depression and other emotional problems.
Unable to relate the feelings and emotions to people close to them, they burden themselves with it, unable to release it and so suffer from it as a result.

Play is necessary for children.

Nowadays, in pursuit of paper qualifications, parents often ignore the importance of play. Crowded environments with fewer open spaces for play exacerbate the situation as more concrete structures sprung up to replace available play space for children. Houses, unlike those of yesteryears, have hardly any room for play in small crowded homes.

Still, a child’s imagination and playfulness refuse to be suppressed by such unfavourable conditions and it starts to grow and develop from the day the child is able move around.

Actually, given the freedom to do so, the whole world is the child’s playground. This world is only limited by the adults who prevents the child from venturing to particular places, opening doors, objects and things to explore and try out everything within his/her reach.

One day, I went to some friends’ house to their child with one of the grandma’s slippers on one foot and the mother’s handphone in the other, trudging around, smiling at the worried faces of the parents.

The parents were worried about the cumbersome shoe causing the child to fall and, perhaps, wreak the expensive handphone in the process. As for the child, he was probably grandma waiting for the handphone to ring, wondering why his parents would look at grandma with such faces, finding their behavior so laughable.

There were times I have seen that child wander into one of the rooms to open drawers and cupboards to see what they contain. He would reach in and grab any object available, sat down and examine the objects. However, more often than not, the objects were snatched away out of his fingers, fearful that they could end up spoiled or broken.

I am not saying that parents ought not to prevent unnecessary problems but parents should take the opportunity to tell the child what it is and how it could be used perhaps. If the object is easily breakable, the parent could join in to hold the object as the child examines it. Then, tell the child that it has to be kept carefully in the drawer as it could be broken easily.

So, to a child, most objects in a house are playthings, things amuse himself or herself with, things to hold, to feel their texture and weight and to know.
When it comes to play outside the home with friends in the neighbourhood, it is the opportunity to know and understand the various types of people, to socialise properly, to share things and to cooperate with others. In the process, the child gets to realise the joy and happiness of living; the joy and happiness which is the essence of life.

It is in fact this very essence of life that makes living worthwhile. Without it, no matter the amount of money or property one has amassed, life is mere drudgery, leading some to early death.

Therefore, play is important as it leads to understanding and realising the essence of life. Play leads the child to exploration and exploration leads to interests which gives us the motivation to success in life; all of which brings us great satisfaction and happiness in life.

Finally, I wish to end this with an archaic saying: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Truth is found in those words.

Stimulating Imagination.

Watch a child play and you see his/her imagination at work. All a child needs is a small toy or some other replacement for a toy.

Give a child a toy car and his car will be roaring down the floor of the living room with the imitated sound emiting from his/her mouth. A toy aeroplane or horse-cart would do just as well.

The other day, a friend's grandson who was slightly past a year in age was carrying some packages of coffee in a small plastic container, stopping at various parts of the house where the adults were, to see if they wanted get any from him.

The world's a stage, and for children it really is, as they act out what adults do. This child i saw even tried on his grandma's shoes; much too big but certainly worth a try, certainly a good experience, to know the texture, the feel and the fun, for one so young.

So it is that a child at this young age would imitate the actions of adults. The adults, especially the parents, must humour them and play along, taking roles such as customers or patients, depending upon the role the child has taken, salesman or doctor and whatever comes to his imagination. By playing along with him, the parents can stimulate and encourage the child's imagination.

Though it is usually difficult, parent can and do kill the growth and development of imagination by stopping the play-acting or refusing to be a part of his 'childish nonsence'.

Children who have great imagination can see such things as fairies. Well, once upon a time, even adults have seen unidentified flying objects in the sky (UFOs). Whether such things exist or not is immaterial. What is important here is the part of the brain that creates stories and adventures.

Some children go on great adventures mentally to overcome the boredom of inactivity and loneliness. Do not scoff at such activity for it could be through such activities that award-winning stories are written. Writers, besides possessing sufficient language capabilities, certainly need either experience or imagination to stalk a hero into the unknown, stopping now and then to write on what the hero has encountered and overcomed in so many dangerous, heart-stopping episodes.

Of course, there are so many other ways to stimulate imagination. Have you thought of them?It's such an important and interesting topic, one posting like this can never do. So, till another time, think about it.

Trigger the power of imagination.

When my brother and I visited my uncle who lived near some swamps, we imagined the life of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn by building a raft with bamboo and vines to cross the swamps. Our raft was not well-built and in the midst of fighting off crocodiles, it broke apart leaving us drinking swampy water with leeches sucking off every drop of blood from our body. Play and books have certainly fired our imagination!

Play and imagination triggered by pictures or objects helps our child to be literate.
To be literate, the child remembers words and imagine their meanings. The child learns the alphabets; learns how to combine them to form meaningful words and string the words to form sentences.

Learning words needs only memory. However, without bringing in imagination through picture and play, the words are merely sounds without meanings. To have our child be able to read with understanding, he needs imagination to picture the events or sequence of thoughts. When does he start to learn imagination?

Our child learns language through imagination. Through talk, language is first used. Parents play with their child, tickle him/her and call the child ‘baby’. The child hears the words, remember them, but cannot use them until he/she is able to associate the words with the people concerned. This process requires the mind to picture the people connected with the words. The imagination process has begun!
Play is a good method to trigger a child’s imagination. In those days when girls are brought up to be housewives, parents used to buy toy stoves, frying-pans, pot and all kind of kitchen utensils for them to play with. Parents who aspire to have doctors in the family bought toy stethoscope and blood pressure measurement units for their male children. They do this to let the children imagine such roles.

Through play children develop their imagination. I remembered putting a blanket and a pillow or bolster onto one end of the bedstead to become my saddle for a ride on my bucking bronco. The rodeo rider sometimes complete his show with the bull; no, it was no bull but my mother; chasing after me with a long cane for loosening all the bolts in her bed!

What benefits could such imagination bring? For me, it was my beloved uncle, Mr. Ong Keng Thoe, who was the headmaster of St. Xaviers Branch School in Pulau Tikus, Penang; and enthusiastic teachers such as Mr. Ramachandran of Hutchings School, Penang, who inspired me to become a teacher too. After having seen their ability to help young children develop themselves through the noble profession of imparting knowledge and skills, I imagined how I could do the same with success. Many a time, I imagined myself standing in front of a class. That was how I overcame my timidity at a young age and at twelve years, was even made a leader of a group tasked with the approaching of certain managements to enter and know the work done in certain premises in Georgetown, Penang.

I must tell you what I read about Abraham Lincoln, the well-known President of America, during his younger days. With his great imagination, this humble, backwoods boy practised giving speeches atop the stumps of cut trees near his home. He visualized himself as the successful leader he eventually became. Using his imagination, he took the courageous steps necessary for his own progress and it lead him to such great acknowledged success!

He was one of my first heroes. Like I have mentioned earlier I suffered inferiority complex as a result of poverty. Abraham Lincoln was just as poor! Yet, he became one of the greatest leaders of a great nation. With him as my hero, I struck out to improve myself and with the help of my friends, I made it!

Imagination is essential to problem solving. To solve a problem, we have to see the problem clearly. Having done that, we need to imagine various possible approaches, ways or steps to overcome it. If we cannot envisage all these, then it is difficult to solve whatever problem we or our children may encounter in life.

In some work, imagination is important. Those who are artists, draftsmen, architects, doctors, engineers and scientists certainly need imagination to picture the outcome of their work.

Finally, happiness depends upon imagination. We need beautiful dreams. We need to go back to sweet memories to brighten our darker days. Imagine how wonderful our life is with imagination; sweet dreams and beautiful memories to negate our present sadness and heighten our happy moments.

Know your child: The bond between the parents and the child.

Do we really know our children? Do we know our children’s character, his feelings, needs, habits, likes and dislikes, hobbies or interests?
How do we get to know our children well enough to ensure he/she can develop his potential to the fullest?

The first thing we have to realize is that every child is an individual. Each child’s needs are different. Even when the needs of two children are the same, the amount or the intensity can be different. For example, all children need encouragement, but a timid child would need more encouragement than the aggressive one. That is the reason all of us need to know and understand our own children well.
Getting to know our children well must come from firsthand knowledge. To do that well, the bond between parents and the child must be good. This bond not only helps us to know our children. It will help us to be close to them, to communicate easily, to know their problems and to be able to assist them with whatever wisdom we have in solving day to day problems.

So, to know our children well, we need to be with them; to spend quality time with them. Initially, all that is needed is to cuddle, talk and give him some attention as often as possible.

Of course, there are some of us who may find it difficult to spend time with the family. To them, I would say, we ought to think of our priorities. To me, my wife and my children are the most important people in the world. Of course, my friends are important too. Their happiness is my happiness. I devoted myself to my wife the day I fell in love with her. My devotion was extended to my children the day they came into my life. This does not mean we do not care for our friends. I do and friends of mine know it.

Back to the bond with our children, we need to talk and play with them. Talking with them not only helps our children learn language, it is also the first step to communication, an essential part of living. Every human needs to communicate with somebody. That is why, when there is no one to turn to, to communicate on problems, insecurity and fears, people start to talk to themselves. A baby is happy when there is someone to communicate with. Have you ever noticed that?

In playing with our children, we help our child cultivate togetherness. We are social creatures. We need company. Loving parents are the best company for baby. Other than helping our children learn about shapes, textures and taste; parents can, through play as the child grows, get to know his likes and dislikes as well as his interests.

There was a student of a science school in Pokok Sena, Kedah, Malaysia who told me that his interest in cars and all the engineering aspects on cars started during his early years through playing with toy cars. He played with his father pushing the toy cars to each other. Knowing that his son was interested, he bought him many models to play with. Magazines followed at a later stage.

Spending time with our children, taking him/her around to know and see his/her world is an important process of development. From the known things at home, our children get to discover unknown things outside the home. The more things there are to see, the more communication there is, the more language is learned, the greater the knowledge. And the more familiar the surrounding is, the more confident is our children. With this, our child is more ready for greater improvement earlier in life. Imagine the amount of benefit our children get just through bonding!

Teach children the dangers of playing with possibly dangerous objects.

One day when I was in a hospital to accompany my son who had dengue fever, a young boy of approximately seven years of age, was admitted with a twenty cent coin in his esophagus. As a result, he could not eat and had difficulty drinking. Every now and then, he had the urge to spit out saliva.

His condition was due to his playfulness. After buying an ice-cream he had a twenty cent coin in his hand. He saw somebody toss a peanut into the air and caught the tossed peanut in his mouth. This young boy imitated the action. He flipped his coin into the air and caught it with his open mouth. The coin went right into his throat. He felt uncomfortable but was unable to retrieve his coin. By the time he told his mother who took him to the hospital, the coin had gone down his esophagus. He was put into a ward to have surgeons try to retrieve it with a scope. However, it was easier to send the coin down into the stomach. According to the mother, the boy was told to wait until the coin exits the body through his anus. In the meantime, the boy had to fast; with the exception of water, no food was to be taken by the hungry boy. It looks like the condition itself was a punishment for the child.

Well, that was the result of playing with objects that may present a danger to our children. Parents have to tell or prevent their children from such a dangerous occurrence.

But even more dangerous things have been allowed by parents. During festival time, we have read of children playing with fire-crackers. This is an item banned in Malaysia. Yet, no authority seemed to be bothered even though the sound of them is enough to notify everybody of their availability. Well, it is still easily bought. Even children can get them. They play with them creatively; with innovation. They stuff the powder into bottles or plastic pipes before igniting the powder, sometimes blowing up their fingers or hands in the process.

Hopitalised with missing fingers, such children are in some way disabled. If only the authorities are more conscientious, if nobody had sold them such things, if parents had taught them the dangers; those children would have remain safe.
When it comes to playing dangerously, parents should use real-life everyday examples to illustrate to the children what can possibly happen. Let them see and know the consequences so that they need not have to learn them the hard way.

For example, if we were to come across the coin-swallowing case, we could point out to our child the danger. Tell our child how the coin-swallower would have to suffer unnecessary fear and hunger. Point out to our child the consequences of such an act. It could have lead to pain, fear and finally, possible suffocation. It could take some time before the coin could exit from the body. He would have to stay in the hospital, away from friends, away from school and away from happiness.

When it comes to pictures and stories in the newspapers of missing fingers due to misadventure with fire-crackers, use the pictures and the stories as visual aids to indicate the tragic consequences. We can even get our children to think of the possibility of life deprived of fingers. By teaching them about such dangers, our children will certainly avoid playing with such dangerous objects.