Staying independent.

As parents we teach our children to grow up in order to be independent one day. We know that being independent is a sure sign of maturity. This is so as no one can be truly independent unless he/she is able to think, act and be responsible.

When we know our children can think, act and be responsible, then we ought to be proud that we have achieved the ultimate goal of parents. Of course, being able to think correctly, act possitively and be responsible for not just himself or herself but also for the people and things in his/her surroundings is essential to the progress of any individual, without which no individual can be considered well-developed in every way.This development of the individual not only brings maturity, it brings self-esteem, confidence and courage. No failure can stop such an individual and success in whatever sphere of life the individual wishes to participate in can be the only outcome. Therefore, the development of real independence is of utmost importance.

Unfortunately, as a person grows older and older, some individuals lose such independence. This can come about as a result of poor planning of those individuals. Or there was never any independence gained by the individuals concerned.

What do we mean when we say that those individuals did not plan properly for life's independence. Well, poor financial planning could lead to dependence upon one's children. Bad health mangement could be another factor. Poor parenting could be another factor.

Let us investigate each factor and see what could be done or where it could lead to.

When it comes to finance, my respected teachers, Napolean Hill, Dale Carnegie and Norman vincent Peale have taught me how money grow through savings made from the very first time we received a salary have a multipying effect due to interests earned on all addition money saved as well as interest derived from the previous savings made.

If we put aside a certain percentage of our salary consistently, we can be sure to find a big sum of money ready to help us through retirement at which time we can have approximately twenty-five to thirty or more years of savings and interests in our account.

Some would like to point out that there is no money to save. This is just like the guy who says he has no time to exercise. How much a person wants to save depends upon his expenditure. It is always possible to lessen that expenditure a little. As someone said,"We should live our lives according to the amount we have."

With sufficient money, and we do not need a lot in our senior years, we have the independence to decide how we ought to live.

Then, when it comes to health, look after our own health well from as early as we possibly can and we stay healthy enough to do all the chores that need to be done. Without health, we may have to depend upon others to do things for us. We may face the situation of being placed in front of the television to have it look at us.

We certainly would not like that. So, let's think of ensuring that we will be independent to our last day on earth.

When it comes

Teach them to be independent.

While I was at the hill this morning I met a guy who told me how good it was to work out at the hill. The fast walk up the hill helps to relax him and dissipate the pressure that one of his children was putting on him.

According to this guy, his child was a young man of twenty-three years. The child depends upon him for everything; even things to do with his family. Imagine, the young man even phoned him in the middle of the night a few days ago when his pregnant wife's pain indicated that it was time to be taken into the maternity ward for delivery.

Well, I had a good laugh at that. The time was not right to give him a talk on teaching independence. So, I merely suppressed my laughter and smiled with concern at his problem.

See what can happen when we do everything for our children, baby-sitting them until their body is already physically matured? None of us would want our children to be like that poor guy's kid. And, mind you, this is not the first time such a thing has happened. Some thirty years ago, when I was in Kodiang and courting my wife, a similar incident occurred with the son of my wife's landlord.

So, let us think of allowing our children to gradually take on some responsibilities in the home as well as make simple decisions such as the choice of clothes, shoes and places to go to for holidays. Such practices will help the child think of making right as well as good decisions. The process, as less and less bad decisions are made while better ones are produced, will give the child lots of self-esteem and confidence in decision making. Of course, the child may turn to the adults for advice and perhaps enquire the reason for the opinion given before making the final decision him/her self. This ought to be encouraged as that is how good leaders seek solutions; by listening, understanding the various angles to approach the problem and with better understanding thought such brain-storming, decide on the best possible solution.

Let us teach our children early so that they can benefit from it throughout their life. Any ideas how this can be improved are always appreciated.