Learning how to demand.

The child yelled loudly and stomped his feet demanding that he be given a kind of food kept in the refrigerator. Despite the parents explanations about it being too close to lunch time for him to have such a snack, he continued to shout and cried at the top of his voice. And the result? He knew he would get what he wanted. And he did. He got his snack, no matter almost lunch time or not. Yes, children learn fast. He has learned the use of a tool for successfully obtaining things.

Who taught him how to use this tool? It is the first adult who inadvertently gave in to his demand through crying. This adult rewarded his behaviour. It proves to the child such crying brings results. Then, as the second and third crying episode reinforce the fact that adults' resolve melts to cries for things, the belief that this is an excellent method is consolidated with all those successes.

So, never pay any attention to a crying demand. Tolerate the noise for ten or fifteen minutes and soon the weeping will subside and he would understand that crying does not work with his parents or those people who do not encourage it. For this child, experience would have taught him not to cry for things but use more subtle ways to persuade and explain the need for something. It is also the right and acceptable way to finding success in life. In life, people look upon loud demands with aghast. However, if people are approached properly and given the right explanations, they can be persuaded to act in accordance with the desire of the speaker.

As it is bad upbringing to cultivate such behaviour as crying and loud demands, parents ought to not bow down to it but ignore the child. If the food demanded is good for the child, when the crying has stop for some time, give the food to him/her. And when doing so, tell the child quietly, that he must never use crying to get things; that things that are good for the child would be given when asked for properly.

For example, if we know our children likes yogurt, buy it even before he/she asks for it. And to encourage good mannerisms, buy happily what is requested in a proper manner. It teaches the child that good manners and behaviour lead to correct attention to needs.

This is in fact what leads to us having the different types of children in this world; those who are loud and rude as well as those who are proper and polite; those who stride out with confidence and those who lack it. All these behaviours are the results of actions and teaching from their first teacher, the first people they come into contact with since birth, most probably the parents.

So, parents are the most important people in this world. The future of the world and this universe depends upon them. Whatever the results, we stand to suffer or benefit from them.

Of course, it is not totally the parents who bear full responsibility, for the adult is moulded by not just the parents, although parents usually have the most influence, but also other people in learning institutions and society; almost everyone the child comes into contact with.