Thursday, April 30, 2009

An unlikely food for a starving brain.

I strongly believe that virgin coconut oil is beneficial to our health as it is anti-viral and anti-bacteria. I consume three tablespoon of the oil each day. Visitors to this blog can go to 'Surprising health benefits from coconut oil' dated February 17, 2009 and Experiences from those who benefited from using coconut oil' dated March 11, 2009.

Below is an article from Total Health Breakthroughs on coconut oil which is certain to be of interest to those suffering from Alzheimer's disease. Alzheimer's disease usually comes in our later years. As such, it should be of interest to everyone. People with Alzheimer's disease have a memory problem. While coconut oil is not a cure it can alleviate the problem as Dr. Newport discovered. Please spread the knowledge to those in need of it as it is the aim of this blog to share such knowledge.


An Unlikely Food for a Starving Brain
April 29, 2009

By Melanie Segala
Managing Editor, Total Health Breakthroughs


I learned several interesting facts in this issue devoted to saving your brain from a cognitive crisis. One of the most significant is that people with Alzheimer's disease have a certain degree of insulin resistance in their brain cells which prevents them from taking in adequate amounts of glucose, the brain's primary source of fuel.

Without glucose, a couple of things start happening. First, the brain cells (neurons) cannot produce acetylcholine, the chemical that is needed for memory and cellular communication. Secondly, the neurons begin to die off from a lack of proper nutrition.

You might think when this happens there is little more a person with Alzheimer's can do than eat a low carb diet to reduce insulin resistance and take a drug like Aricept to help slow the progression of symptoms. While both of these are viable options, medical doctor Mary Newport has discovered that a common tropical food, coconut oil, can provide energy-starved brain cells with an alternative fuel called ketones, which are a product of fat breakdown.

Non-hydrogenated coconut oil is comprised of 60% medium chain triglycerides (MCTs). Upon digestion, the liver breaks down the MCTs into ketones which can then be used by the brain.

As Jim explains in his article:

In periods of starvation, the brain will turn to ketones as an energy source. This new treatment [MCTs], which is considered a medical food, simply follows the logic that insulin resistance, which prevents a person with Alzheimer's from getting enough brain food, can be bypassed by giving brain cells ketones as fuel instead.

Dr. Newport had a very personal reason for researching Alzheimer's treatments. Her husband Steve, a healthy active man who could fix anything and kept the books for her medical practice had been diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's in 2004. He began taking Aricept and was then switched over to Exelon in 2007. Unfortunately, he continued to decline, no longer remembering how to do simple addition, use a calculator, or even to eat.

She began researching new medications and clinical trials in which to enroll Steve. That's when she came across a drug called Ketasyn that showed significant improvement over a 90-day period in half of the Alzheimer's patients studied with a certain genetic profile. The main ingredient in Ketasyn is MCTs.

By now, Steve's cognition was leaning more toward severe than moderate AD.

Knowing that coconut oil could provide the same MCTs as Ketasyn, Dr. Newport went to a health food store and bought a quart of 100% virgin coconut oil. The following morning at 9 am, she made oatmeal for Steve and herself, stirring in over 2 tablespoons of the coconut oil in each serving. At 1 pm, she took Steve to a second screening for a clinical trial that would be testing a new Alzheimer's vaccine. The previous day, he had scored too low (14) on the Mini-Mental State Exam (MMSE) to be considered as a test subject.

But now, only 4 hours after taking the coconut oil, Steve scored an 18 on the same test and qualified for the study. (Ed. note: After evaluating the possible side effects of the vaccine, Dr. Newport decided not to enroll her husband.)

According to Dr. Newport, "It was like the oil kicked in and he could think clearly again. We were ecstatic." On the fifth day of taking the coconut oil, she saw significant improvement in his personality and cognition. And now months later, Steve can read again, the tremors he had have disappeared, and he's more interested in life and the people around him.

Dr. Newport acknowledges that the damage done to Steve's brain from AD cannot be repaired, but the coconut oil is helping. And it may help other neurodegenerative diseases as well. In 2005, Dr. Theodore VanItallie studied a ketogenic diet on five patients with Parkinson's disease. In all five patients, tremors, stiffness, and walking ability improved by as much as 43%.

Another leading researcher, Dr. Richard Veech, from the National Institutes of Health, also believes that ketones may be a key factor in treating neurodegenerative diseases. However, he cautions people to consult a physician before consuming coconut oil at home because too much of any one fat can be harmful.

Dr. Newport stresses that since coconut oil contains no omega-3 fatty acids it is important to make sure your diet contains an adequate amount from salmon, fish oil capsules, walnuts, flax meal, or flax oil.2 She believes that the large increase in degenerative diseases like Alzheimer's and diabetes is linked to the modern diet of mass-produced vegetable oils high in trans fat and devoid of healthy natural fats.

While coconut oil is not a cure for Alzheimer's disease, there is enough evidence of its success to warrant further research of MCTs in the treatment of Alzheimer's disease. Dr. Newport hopes that sharing her husband's story will help make that happen. You can do your part by passing this story on.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Resorting to violence. So...?

“Buy me the toy plane! I want the toy plane!” the child shouted at the father. And when his demands fell on deaf ears, he kicked his father’s legs as hard as he could. The father did not seem to be able to find a solution and allowed his tantrums and violence to continue.

What kind of child will this little boy become? What sort of violence would he resort to when he becomes as strong or as big as his father?

First, this could be a pampered child who has always got whatever he demanded. He throws tantrums and shows his unhappiness knowing that such exhibition of his behavior usually gets him what he wants. He knows such behavior does attract the right attention. Who taught this boy such knowledge? The person who pampered him, of course!

To avoid such behavior, parents must never ever reward a child for his tantrums or violence. Even if the thing demanded is necessary for the child, refuse giving it to him then. To give him whatever he demanded then would be teaching him that such behavior is the way to obtain it; we are encouraging such behavior. Only when he quietens and obeys you, do you give him whatever he needs. When doing so, tell him you did not want to give it to him then because his behavior was horrible and now that he wants to behave properly, you like him for it and so reward him with the thing he wanted. Let him know how he should behave.

However, the child who throws tantrums and misbehaves might also be a neglected child with no strong bond for the parents and knows that the parents do not care enough to do anything about his or her actions. The child has been allowed to do as he/she wishes. So, without the needed attention, the child either has to sulk in a corner if he/she is the timid type or shouts, cries and jumps around if he/she is an aggressive child.

The neglected child should be given the proper attention. We must show the child we care. What we must never do is to give the excuse that there is no time to give attention. We ought to remember the child did not asked to be brought into this world. We conceived him or her and therefore has the responsibility of looking into his/her needs.

Whether we have a pampered child or a neglected child, we and perhaps the world would have to suffer for what we have sown.

The parents in the story above have started to suffer what the child may dish out. If we are lucky, only that child's immediate community may have to bear the brunt of his/her vengeance on adults who have failed him/her.

By writing I hope to play my part; take up this responsiblity to prevent more problems to our world. Of course, alone, I cannot do much if we do not help each other by sharing our experiences and knowledge, or inspire ourselves to greater goals to make this world a better place.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Can't buy me love.

Parents naturally love their children. Unfortunately, they do not always seem to do their best for their children. Why?

Could this be the result of modern living where the law of the concrete jungle deems that each individual needs to work so hard at a particular job to the extent that he/she neglects his/her family, in order to survive? For some, this appears to be the case.

In the process of reaching personal goals, some parents forget their loved ones and take for granted that a shelter, money and all the other luxuries of modern life is sufficed to have the child achieve success; to grow and develop in life. Sometimes, they even forget their partners.

When adults or children are neglected; merely supplied with the necessities of day to day living; the bond between one parent and the other, the bond between parents and their children slowly degrades and love for each other is diluted.

When this happens, are we surprised that one of us easily strays off the marriage path into some promising backyard? It happens everyday in our concrete jungle. Yet nobody pose the obvious question: Are we not losing the very thing we work so hard for money to achieve?

Why are we working this hard, spending hour after hour chasing money? Is it just to become rich? Of course, we need money! Certainly, we need to work. We can have our 'Hard Day's Night', but how much wealth do we really need to be happy? A hundred dollars a day? Two hundred?

As the Beatles so rightly sang, money 'Can't Buy Me Love!' To chase after the momentary happiness that money can bring, we allow the happiness that is secured in our homes to dissipate through taking our loved ones for granted.

I have known as well as read in newspapers of children preferring to live with people such as grandparents and child-minders. These children have lost the bond with their true parents. Their parents just do not exist in their world.

Parents must spend time with their children. Children can only love those who have the time to love them. They do not understand the social contract which states that they must love someone just because that someone gave birth to them and gave them existence or provide them with child-minders and grandparents. Even if it is written on a piece of legal document, such young children have not learned to understand it!

Only when there is love, can rules be set by parents to establish discipline. Obeying good rules such as teeth-brushing before bed-time and bath-times must be enforced by the parents. However, obeying can only come about if there is love and care for the person who gives the orders. The only other way is through fear. However, fear can only be employed as long as the child is weaker than the parent. Woe betide the parent when the teenager is strong enough to rebel.

Obeying is made easy with love and structured living. The procedure is followed each day and so is expected to happen. Parents must think of appropriate punishment for going against rules. The punishment could be cancellation of certain activities enjoyed by the child. For things like reaching for electrical outlets, it could be an immediate light slap on the hand. Rules, praise (when rules are obeyed,) and punishment when rules are not obeyed, teach discipline and cultivates respect if it is done with explanation and consistently. This amount of effort can only persist if there is time and love for our children.

Explanation is important when meting out punishment. When I was a disciplinarian in a school dealing with more than a thousand students, I had to punish certain children for misbehaviours. I always make it a point to explain why action had to be taken. I also taught them to thank me for taking the trouble to do so. I believe in it! It is so easy for me and other authorities to turn a deaf ear or close one eye and claim I am not responsible for discipining them. Are we not responsible? I shall write on this in a future post.

Love, respect and obedience which lead to discipline are important factors in the development of a successful child.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Listen to love, knowledge and success.

Have you noticed that there are people who talk, talk and talk and never want to listen?

Some people like to hear their own voice. Some do not have sufficient opportunities to talk. Some think they know more than you. So, when they have the opportunity, they would talk non-stop. They pour out their knowledge. They hardly put in. Their glass of knowledge and understanding take a long time to fill.

I do talk but not much. Sometimes, I listen more. I listen even more if I come across someone who knows many things. I encourage him or her to talk with questions to extract even more experience and information. I learned to do that when I was young.

In one previous posting, I have told about my ‘dumbness’ and introvert character when I was young. In my dumbness, I had no alternative but to listen. I discovered that people are encouraged to talk when they have an interested listener.

Later, Napoleon Hill and Norman Vincent Peale confirmed my discovery. Alas, from them I also realized the idea was already a century old! I was no great thinker after all. Nevertheless, this average guy did benefit from it, making friends very easily and learning a lot as a result. Napoleon Hill and Norman Vincent Peale did help by getting this big-headed fellow to be more humble and encouraged me on the right path of listening more to those more knowledgeable than me.

When we are good listeners, we learn a lot through the experience of others. It is one of the better ways to learn as it would have taken us more than one life-time to learn so many things.

Besides learning, it is easier for people to like those who pay attention. Giving attention is an indication of respect for the speaker and interest in whatever is communicated. That is one of the best secrets to becoming popular!

This liking for the listener has been exploited by salemen. A salesman or anyone who listens carefully to his/her client will find the client more receptive to what he/she has to say.

How do we teach our children to learn to be good listeners? First, we can be models. We ourselves must be good listeners. We must listen to our children and understand them well. Our children will imitate. Next explain to them that through listening to somebody, we can learn to do a particular thing well. Thus, each time a benefit can be derived from listening to people with knowledge. This will lead to listening for knowledge or instructions from the teacher.

My own ability to understand English grammar and teach it well is the result of listening to a TESL lecturer who explained the use of Time-lines to show when to use the various tenses that we need to master as an English Language teacher. Today, I am able to explain and use Time-lines efficiently because I paid full attention to what was explained. I am forever grateful to that lecturer.

Imagine how important being able to listen well is! As our children become older and more mature; to have them realise its role, whenever the appropriate situation arises, we could point out to our children, how the boss listens carefully to his executives’ views, value them and, only then, take appropriate action; how executives have to listen to understand clearly what is wanted by the boss, then go down to the workers and instruct them correctly on what they have to do. The workers will have to listen attentively to be able to carry out their task correctly. If, at any point, someone does not listen carefully, an important idea or point may be lost, a misunderstanding can take place and a costly mistake can result.

From the above, it is obvious that listening is an important art which brings plenty of benefits.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

It's all in the mind.

I remember the time I lived at Caunter Hall, Penang. Today, it has been renamed Jalan P. Ramli after a well-known Malay actor. When I was there, it was just a big village surrounded by banana plantations, coconut plantations and pineapple plantations. Once a year, there would be a flood.

While the adults and some children dread the floods, I enjoyed them. It was the only time of the year when I could get my clothes wet without being scolded. At the slightest excuse, I would run through the coconut plantation in the rain to the sundry shop on its other side to help purchase things my mother needed. The best times were when a ‘plop’ signaled a race to the spot to return with an old coconut for the family. And a run was always welcome after my weak legs had recovered from the trauma they underwent at the legs of the temple medium.(True story in an earlier posting.)

When the floods descended upon the village, it was an opportunity to wade around the village, my feet and toes feeling the slippery mud and soil, looking for ducklings swept down the river towards us. Each flood rewarded us with ducklings from another village.The ducklings were God-sent.

Besides, I had the fun of folding paper boats which I put into the flood waters to glide away. I could put my legs in the cool water as it swirl around the bed and the surrounding furniture through the house. I could drop myself into the water and paddle around without any reprimand from my parents. How wonderful life could be! God sent flood waters to children like me.

After the floods, adults would grumble and complain of the many cleaning jobs they had to perform to put the house back in order. Stains left by the muddy flood water was everywhere. Everything was a mess, according to the adults. After each flood, the adults would think of ways to prevent water from the next flood entering their houses.

As it can be seen, what was joy and pleasure to me was tediousness and a chore to the adults. They talked about messiness while I delighted in the fun. Our minds were obviously on different wavelengths. We saw things differently.

With this, parents could perhaps understand their children better. Understand that what is enjoyable to us may not necessary be enjoyable for them. However, parents ought to know how much happiness could be found such gifts of nature. And when children could not help but play in the muddy water, it was not naughtiness but a natural joy, children's innate enthusiasm for happiness!

Unfortunately, as we grow to be adults, society teaches us artificial behaviours which hamper the expression of our innate enthusiasm for happiness. If we were to enjoy the rain in the streets of our concrete jungle, society may term us mad. So, we have to restrain ourselves. As for me, so often have I allowed myself the freedom and pleasure of a walk in the rain up a hill. I still value the joy I derive from such occassions.

This difference in attitude towards things is not merely between parents and their children. It is also between one child and another for no two children are alike in every way. Just as it is never the same between two adults. We are all individuals, different in as many ways as we are similar.

When we understand this, we are able to accept others and their idiosyncratic ways as well as their many differing views and thoughts.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

In our concrete jungle, need we exercise?

Most people do not exercise enough. With modern facilities like the elevator, fast transport system and communication made possible without venturing out of our doors, we hardly use our limbs for anything.

Anyway, in the concrete jungle where most heavy work is done by machines, there is not much need for strength. So, where is the need for exercise?

No way can the human body remain healthy for long without direct or indirect exercise. Indirect exercising the body through strenuous work gives the same benefit as exercises obtained through brisk walking and running or any other physical activity.

How do we know that? Through physical exertion, we breathe deeper and through this, stagnant air in the lower lobes of our lungs are exchanged with fresh air. We take in more air and, in the process, more oxygen.

The heart pumps faster in exercising. Circulation goes to the very extremities of our limbs, to every part of our body. Thus, blood carrying essential oxygen reaches all our cells, even those at the extremities. Oxygen rejuvenates our oxygen starved cells.

Of course, besides sufficient oxygen brought through better circulation resulting from exercise, our cells also need nutrients from balanced meals.

Besides these, we sweat more during exercise. Through sweating, the elimination of toxins is efficiently performed. After exercise, we drink more water and replenish our body with it for further elimination through our kidneys and urination.

More often than not, we overeat. Excess food is stored as fat in our body. Unless this excess energy is burned up during exercise, the fat increases each day not only under our skin but also around our vital organs. To breathe while being held tight by the layers of fat, the lungs need to exert more. To pump blood, the heart needs to put in greater effort. They are strained, put to really hard labour, every second, every minute, every hour, every day, without any rest. (In exercising, we do give our body rest to recuperate and strengthen.With rest and strengthening, exercise does not overstrain our body.) Without the much needed reprieve from such torturous exertion, will our organs knock out sooner?

The body gets heavier with each additional weight. Our skeleton is also burdened at the joints. I have seen joints in bad shape because of the body weight. Knees feel the pain of carrying a heavier than usual load. The spine compresses and a hunch develops. Lumps of fat envelop in every part of the body. Movement becomes awkward and restricted. How can life be enjoyed in such circumstances. The only way to prevent this is through vigorous activity or exercise at an age when we still can.

Excess fat can also obstruct the blood vessels. Our blood vessels are like a delivery system. When unneeded rubbish like excess fat blocks the flow of blood, essential oxygen cannot be supplied to our organs and their cells. Without delivery of sufficient oxygen; cells can die and our extremities experience numbness. With no oxygen, organs fail. If it is the brain, we get a stroke. If it is the heart, we have a heart-attack. Either way, we are in trouble.

With exercise, our cells and body are in good condition due to better circulation. The white blood cells respond better to fighting disease-bringing foreign bodies, assuring us of good health. Our immune system is strengthened.

With a better immune system and sufficient rest, our health is certainly excellent. Just half an hour of vigorous exercise each day can keep the doctor away. Even more important, life will appear so much brighter, flowers will seem so much lovelier and we will be so much happier.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Is a doctor necessary?

Being over protective of their children can cause some parents to take their children to a doctor at the slightest sign of a cold or fever.

Cold is caused by a virus and there is no medicine which can cure a cold. What is usually given by the doctor is vitamin C and something to suppress the symptoms. If the cold is bad; too much sneezing and mucous emitting from the nose; the discomfort is too great; then see a doctor so that the child can be more comfortable. The cold goes away once the virus has completed its cycle in about a week. What a cold patient needs is warmth and a good rest.

When it comes to fever, it is a symptom indicating that the body is battling some foreign bodies, possibly bacteria. If it is mild, it is a sign that only a small battle is going on and the immune system can complete its job without much help. Not only that, by doing so, we give our immune system a chance to improve itself and be able to tackle the same problem better. When the battle is over, the fever subsides.

However, sometimes due to a weakened immune system, the fight is lost and a war has to be declared. The heat of the war is felt and the body temperature rises. When this happens, there is a need for outside reinforcement. Run to a doctor for help to cool the body as well as help fight the enemy bacteria with antibiotics.

As for our children, we should pay more attention to fever if it is obvious from the heat on the forehead and the body. If the temperature gets too high, it can affect the child’s brain.

Whenever, my children had fever, I would cool their foreheads and armpits very often with a wet cloth throughout the day and night. At such times I do not sleep.

I take fever so seriously because I have seen a number of children who suffered from epilepsy brought on by high fever. Such epilepsy cases have to take medicine constantly and epileptic attacks are so unpredictable, happening at the most inconvenient and embarrassing times and places. And since there is no known cure, it has to be endured for life, thus creating obstacles in the poor children’s lives. Prevention in such cases is certainly important.

Of course, where the sickness is something unknown to us, the doctor is the trained person to consult.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Look! Opportunities are everywhere!

Opportunities are always around. The opportunity to be a lawyer, a doctor, to be anything exists at all times.

However, that does not mean you can decide to be a doctor today, just open a clinic and become one.

That is because, to be a doctor, you have to earn a certicate to perform. The opportunity is there but you have to prepare yourself for it. Are you prepared for such an opportunity?

You are the one who decides what you want to be through your thoughts or someone else’s thoughts. You plan to be one. You have to prepare to be one. When you are prepared, you can grab hold of the opportunity as it presents itself.

Okay! You or your mother wants you to be a doctor. She prepares you in language proficiency; starts you with lots of talking to you in the language with the whole world as your audio visual aids. Then, as you grow older, she gives you the Lady Bird Reading Programme to improve your English. Next, she prepares you for the science stream with books and other materials that are suitable. As you grow older, if you agree with her, you study hard to ensure you get a place in the university to study medicine. Each year, those who are eligible because they have the best suitable results, find places in the universities. Of course, if at any time you change your mind, it has to be early enough to give you the chance to change to another stream of study.

Thus, if you are prepared and ready for whatever you want, opportunity is always there.

Tiger Woods was never handed the opportunity to be a golf champion. He planned for it by practicing golf. If he had never wanted to swing a golf club, he would not be where he is today. He went for competitions; competitions which emplaced him to be a golf champion. The opportunity has always been there and he reached for it with the right preparation.

I once taught the English Language to graduates who could not find jobs because the jobs or professions require a certain proficiency in English. Initially, they were not prepared for the opportunities offered them. By improving their English, the opportunities were within their reach.

One such student told me she found a job as an adventure guide. She was required to remove her head-covering cloth. Apparently, her boss believed that her attire did not impress anyone who needs an adventure-guide. However, as a Muslim, she refused to remove her head-covering which covers her hair totally. She told me that her boss was a Muslim too. She wondered why he could not understand the necessity for Muslim women to do that. She was told that she was not suitable for the job.

It was a delicate question as I was not a Muslim. I understood her boss’ view just as I understood hers. Her boss was thinking of hiring a person who looks capable of trekking the hills and jungles. With her shawl or ‘tudong’, she did not give tourists the confidence of going on an adventure trek with her as their guide.
I told her if she was not prepared to abandon her shawl, it was her right but that also implied that she was not prepared to have that Muslim man as her boss. She just was not prepared for that opportunity.

So, we have to be prepared in every way possible. You may be well qualified to teach English Language to others but unless you are willing to show your face and the movement of your mouth and lips, you cannot be a good English Language teacher.

To learn a language well, students must know how the words are pronounced. Correct pronunciation can better be obtained through not just hearing the sound but also through observing the movement of mouth and lips as well as the placement of the teeth and tongue. Thus, a teacher must be prepared to expose the face for students to observe while teaching a language.

So, despite the fact that the opportunity to be a language teacher is always present, if a teacher is not prepared to do the necessary to teach effectively, then the opportunity to teach will never be within reach.

Understanding this, we should realise we need not worry about opportunities. All we need is to prepare our children for whatever they want to become.

Give them language efficiency and all the necessary knowledge possible. Imbue them with the desire to improve themselves. All these can assist them to grab the opportunities they want.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Build a strong defence.

When I was young, I was weak and went through a number of health problems. It made me realise the importance of good health. As a result, I learned everything I could about health from other people’s experience as well as from books.

It was this search for health that led me to read a lot and improved on my English Language.

It also awakened the realization that one person’s experience alone brings so little knowledge. Through books and the knowledge and practices of so many individuals, we can learn and understand so much more.

However, what I learned about immunity did not come only from books or another person’s experience. It was also through observation. I was then staying at a house in Queen Street, Penang. I noticed that when it rained, the Indian children in the neighbourhood played in the rain. A few smaller ones were naked, some were wearing just a pair of shorts. They ran about in the rain and the adults did not seem worried.

Not the Chinese; they would quickly send their children out of the rain, changed their clothes if they were wet and put on thicker clothing if the air was cold.

And who among them would be the first to catch cold? The protective Chinese!
Despite all that they have done, the virus still launch an attack. Who lost? Those who are afraid of catching cold! How is that?

The indians did not bother about getting drenched. Wet and cold, they played on to develop their bodies' personal army to fight any virus which dared to come.

Yes, those Indian children hardly ever catch cold while the Chinese children easily succumbed to cold even from just a few drops of rain!

I came to the conclusion that Chinese parents were too protective, and their children succumbed too easily as their bodies were never given the opportunity to withstand cold. As for the Indian children, they were so used to rain and cold that both had no deleterious effect on their bodies.

With that knowledge, if there is no sign of thunder or lightning, I allowed my two children to play in the rain approximately five minutes after it had started so as to get their body to achieve immunity against cold. The time elapsed before allowing them to start to play was to have toxic substances causing acid rain to be washed off first.

My children were really thrilled to slide around on the smooth cemented part of the compound. Of course, they were always under my supervision.

I remembered very well the first time their shrill voices expressing their joy and fun attracted the attention of some neighbours who were horrified to see our children possibly catching their death of cold.

To dissipate their fears and to confirm that everything was fine, I quickly waved to them, beaming my assuring smile and shouting to tell them that everything was perfectly alright.

They must have thought, "What a crazy father I was. Poor kids! How could the father not know that they would catch cold! And look at him! Delighting in the sight of his children slithering around on the wet cement. What a stupid father!"

I did not blame them for they did not have the same observation nor the knowledge or experience I had.

Through this very enjoying play, they not only developed an immunity to cold; they also learned about the immunity system in our body through my explanation to them.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Asparagus as cancer cure.

This is an article I recieved from a lady,Lai Ngan Sei. She must have been sent the article and told to spread the news. Since I am requested to spread the knowledge, I think all my friends and people who enter this blog should benefit from it. So please read on.


Asparagus/Cancer -Must Read

Do read till the end.


Dear All
This is a very good article on Asparagus, known to cure Cancer.
Kindly go through the same.


Three types of asparagus on a shop display, white asparagus, green asparagus and Ornithogalum pyrenaicum which is commonly called wild asparagus,

Several years ago, I had a man seeking asparagus for a friend who had cancer. He gave me a photocopy of an article, entitled, `Asparagus for cancer ' printed in Cancer News Journal, December 1979.

I will share it here, just as it was shared with me: 'I am a biochemist,and have specialized in the relation of diet to health for over 5 years.

Several years ago, I learned of the discovery of Richard R.Vensal, D.D.S. that asparagus might cure cancer. Since then, I have worked with him on his project. We have accumulated a number of favourable case histories.
Here are a few examples:

Case No. 1,
A man with an almost hopeless case of Hodgkin's disease (cancer of the lymph glands) who was completely incapacitated. Within 1 year of starting the asparagus therapy, his doctors were unable to detect any signs of cancer, and he was back on a schedule of strenuous exercise.

Case No. 2,
A successful businessman 68 years old who suffered from cancer of the bladder for 16 years. After years of medical treatments, including radiation without improvement, he went on asparagus. Within 3 months, examinations revealed that his bladder tumor had disappeared and that his kidneys were normal.


Case No. 3,
A man who had lung cancer. On March 5th 1971, he was put on the operating table where they found lung cancer so widely spread that it was inoperable. The surgeon sewed him up and declared his case hopeless. On April 5th he heard about the asparagus therapy and immediately started taking it. By August, x-ray pictures revealed that all signs of the cancer had disappeared. He is back at his regular business routine. *


*Case No. 4,
A woman who was troubled for a number of years with skin cancer. She finally developed different skin cancers which were diagnosed by asking specialist as advanced. Within 3 months after starting on asparagus, her skin specialist said that her skin looked fine and no more skin lesions. This woman reported that the asparagus therapy also cured her kidney disease, which started in 1949. She had over 10 operations for kidney stones, and was receiving government disability payments for an inoperable, terminal, kidney condition. She attributes the cure of this kidney trouble entirely to the asparagus.

I was not surprised at this result, as `The elements of Material Medica', edited in 1854 by a Professor at the University of Pennsylvania , stated that asparagus was used as a popular remedy for kidney stones. He even referred to experiments, in 1739, on the power of asparagus in dissolving stones.

We would have other case histories but the medical establishment has interfered with our obtaining some of the records. I am therefore appealing to readers to spread this good 20news and help us to gather a large number of case histories that will overwhelm the medical skeptics about this unbelievably simple and natural remedy. For the treatment, asparagus should be cooked before using, and therefore canned asparagus is just as good as fresh.

I have corresponded with the two leading canners of asparagus, Giant Giant and Stokely, and I am satisfied that these brands contain no pesticides or preservatives.

* * PROCEDURE:
1) Place the cooked asparagus in a blender and liquefy t make a puree, and store in the refrigerator.

2) Give the patient 4 full tablespoons twice daily, morning and evening.

Patients usually show some improvement in from 2-4 weeks. It can be diluted with water and used as a cold or hot drink. This suggested dosage is based on present experience, but certainly larger amounts can do no harm and may be needed in some cases.

As a biochemist I am convinced of the old saying that `what cures can prevent'. Based on this theory, my wife and I have been using asparagus puree as a beverage with our meals. We take 2 tablespoons diluted in water to suit our taste wit breakfast and with dinner. I take mine hot and my wife prefers hers cold.

For years we have made it a practice to have blood surveys taken as part of our regular checkups.

The last blood survey, taken=2 0by a medical doctor who specializes in the nutritional approach to health, showed substantial improvements in all categories over the last one, and we can attribute these improvements to nothing but the asparagus drink...

As a biochemist, I have made an extensive study of all aspects of cancer, and all of the proposed cures. As a result, I am convinced that asparagus fits in better with the latest theorie about cancer. Asparagus contains a good supply of protein called histones, which are believed to be active in controlling cell growth. For that reason, I believe asparagus can be said to contain a substance that I call cell growth normalizer. That accounts for its action on cancer and inacting as a general body tonic. In any event, regardless of theory, asparagus used as we suggest, is a harmless substance.

The FDA cannot prevent you from using it and it may do you much good.. It has been reported by the US National Cancer Institute, that asparagus is the highest tested food containing glutathione, which is considered one of the body's most potent anticarcinogens and antioxidants.

Please spread the news...

...the most unselfish act one can ever do is paying forward all the kindness one has
received even to the most undeserved person*

The power to kill pain.

When a relationship goes wrong, there is pain. When things go wrong, negative thoughts assail us. The pain or the disturbing thoughts return again and again.
For some, there seems to be no way out. The torture continues until the mind can no longer withstand the pressure. We are depressed. Then the mind has to find an escape to another level of the mind, to another world.

For all types of pain and all troubled thoughts, there is a solution; activity and company.

It is a known fact that our brain produces a pain-killing chemical known as endorphin which also helps the body to relax, if we exercise through brisk walking or running for more than half an hour.

When I lost my wife to Cushing Syndrome, I was angry with God. I felt the pain of losing her. I have lost the one person I cared for, the one person who cared for me. Why did it have to happen to me? Each day I thought of her death and my own sad situation.

Fortunately for me, I had always known of life’s values. I have always held the belief that I must have a mission in this life. I did not come into this world for nothing. I believe there must be a reason, for I believe in God. I have always overcome my problems in life, emerging even stronger as I have always felt the guidance of God in this life.

So, I decided to walk in the evenings. I walked to places where I could meet others. When others smile and greet me, I just had to greet and smile in return. I talked to them. I lost myself in the activity. Thoughts of the moment crowded out my own painful ones. At least for a short time, there was relief.

I plunged myself into gymnastics. I trained the gymnasts almost every day of the week. I tired myself out. I slept the sleep of exhaustion.

I started to breed more discus fish. I cut the grass in my compound, looked for an attractive ground-covering plant, found it and replaced the grass with a yellow-flower runner.

I went on to other activities. I trekked up the hill nearby more often. I made friends.

I managed to overcome the pain in my heart and to look at the world in a better light. And I found love in life again. I still love her but there is also the life that God has given me to live.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Dengue Fever Remedy.

A friend, Chuah Peizhi, emailed the information below to me, asking me to spread the news. Well, what better way to do it than to put it here where my friends and others coming into this blog may benefit from it. So, here goes:

I would like to share this interesting discovery from a classmate's son who has just recovered from dengue fever. Apparently, his son was in the critical stage at the ICU when his blood platelet count dropped to 15 after 15 liters of blood transfusion.

His father was so worried that he seeked another friend's recommendation and his son was saved. He confessed to me that he gave his son the raw juice of the papaya leaves. From a platelet count of 45 after 20 liters of blood transfusion, and after drinking the raw papaya leaf juice, his platelet count jumped instantly to 135. Even the doctors and nurses were surprised. After the second day he was discharged. So he asked me to pass this good news around.

Accordingly, it is raw papaya leaves, 2 pieces just cleaned, pounded and squeezed with a filtering cloth. You will only get one tablespoon per leaf. So two tablespoons per serving once a day. Do not boil or cook or rinse with hot water as it will loose its strength. Only the leafy part, and no stem or sap. It is very bitter and you have to swallow it like "Won Low Kat". (The name of a Chinese herbal drink.) But it works.

*Papaya Juice - Cure for Dengue*

You may have heard this elsewhere but if not I am glad to inform you that papaya juice is a natural cure for dengue fever. As dengue fever is rampant now, I think it's good to share this with all.

A friend of mine had dengue last year. It was a very serious situation for her as her platelet count had dropped to 28,000 after 3 days in hospital and water had started to fill up her lungs. She had difficulty in breathing. She was only 32 years old. The doctor said that there was no cure for dengue. We just have to wait for her body immune system to build up resistance against dengue and fight its own battle. She already had 2 blood transfusion and all of us were praying very hard as her platelet continued to drop since the first day she was admitted.

Fortunately her mother-in-law heard that papaya juice would help to reduce the fever and got some papaya leaves, pounded them and squeeze the juice out for her. The next day, her platelet count started to increase, her fever subsided. We continued to feed her with papaya juice and she recovered after 3 days!!!

Amazing but it is true. It is believed one's body would be overheated when one is down with dengue and that would also cause the patient to have fever. Papaya juice has a cooling effect. Thus, it helps to reduce the level of heat in one's body, and the fever will go away. I found that it is also good when one is having sore throat or suffering from heat.

Please spread the news about this as lately there are many dengue cases. It's great if such natural cure could help to ease the suffering of dengue patients.

Furthermore it's so easily available.
Blend them and squeeze the juice! It's simple and miraculously effective!!

He does not listen to me anymore.

The adolescent child has found independence. Still, there are many things in life he is naïve about. He still needs guidance. Yet, some adolescence no longer wants to inform the parents where he or she wishes to go. Such children are closer to their friends than their parents.

These children are possibly the result of insufficient bonding with the parents. They could be those who did not receive sufficient attention. Perhaps, they perceive their parents do not love them anymore.

Now, their friends are closer to them and provide them with enough attention to have them prefer their company.

Let us forget about those lost opportunities to have a close relationship with them. That is over. Let us think of how we can remedy the situation.

The parenting part is almost over. The bird has grown feathers and is able to fly. We should be glad. So, there should be no scolding or parental instructions or teaching. We should act as concerned adults and friends to our adolescent children.

First,we ought to indicate we want them to be happy. “Enjoy yourself!” and “Is there enough petrol in the car? Here, you may need some money to fill the tank.” Of course, do not just push money to them, only when necessary. We are not buying love!Money cannot buy love.

And should he return earlier, ask him what happened. Show our happiness to see him back. “Oh! It’s good to have you back so early. Have you taken your supper? No, do you want me to prepare something for you. No? Come, I prepare all of us a cup of milo.” Show our love, but do not push it. It takes time to get back the acceptance of our concern.

Make him feel he is a member of the family. Discuss things like trips and decisions to change the furniture or anything else.

Joke with him. Talk about his interests. Encourage him by taking an interest in whatever he purchases.

All such actions lead to a closer relationship, a better understanding and an acceptance that the adolescence is an individual with thoughts, attitudes, behavior, interests and life of his or her own.

However, we must always have patience with children we feel they have been left out; who feels that we have not been looking into their welfare; who think we have not listened or paid attention to his/her needs.

In time, the adolescent; upon being allowed to grow his/her own way, no longer feels his or her freedom and independence threatened; can once again become closer again and confide in the parents; think of and perhaps accept ideas and opinions of the parents.

Your big child merely needs room to grow as an individual.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Independence Day.

I remember a time when this neighbour came rushing to tell his wife that their son just phoned to inform that their daughter-in-law was on the point of conceiving. Their son was asking for help, requesting them to go to him, to tell him what to do next.

Although I said not a word, I was suppressing my laughter, finding it ridiculous that a grown married man would need the parents’ help in a matter which is so simple.

How many parents can say that their children truly feel competent and secure enough to venture out on their own? Have the parents given their children the opportunity to learn and understand their family, social and environmental world? Have the children been given the chance to function as individuals in their world?

As parents, we ought to ensure our children learn and understand sufficiently to perform on their own, without us to lend a helping hand.

When a child helps in the kitchen, he/she may be just enjoying the experience of knowing how food is prepared and cooked. Then, he/she may be given the chance to try his/her hand at cooking. Imagine the feeling of achievement we can give a child when he/she is able to produce a meal all on his/her own! This sense of accomplishment is important; this feeling of usefulness as a person brings self-esteem; this experience gives your child the knowledge that he or she can be independent.

However, parents are sometimes too protective. We are afraid our child will be hurt or that it is too early to let go.

Of course, it is good and responsible for parents to be protective. Nevertheless, we have to teach, allow practices and then give opportunities to achieve independence.

Certainly, allowing a child to venture out on his/her own can cause the parents lots of anxiety. And it is rightly so! Thus, the first step would be to accompany our child to places outside the home. As we do so, tell our child about the surroundings, what possible things can happen, tell about vehicles, dangers while crossing the roads, looking left and right and how accidents can happen. Teach our child about the various types of people he/she may encounter, how to react to such people and how to avoid possible problems. Then, as our child becomes streetwise, we allow our child to venture forth with siblings or some known friends; we observe discreetly from a distance, and when incidents occur in and around the area, teach our child what can possibly happen through talking about such happenings.

Use the incidents for illustration. As I had said before, the whole world is our classroom filled with audio visual aids to help our child know and understand everything well. In this way, we cultivate a sense of capability and competency in our child.

With such knowledge, training and practice, competency gradually develops. The security derived from understanding of the environment and the courage to function independently will be the end result.

Thus, in years to come, we can proudly see our success as parents in our children’s ability to perform well which can only be possible when they are confident enough to be independent.

Then, rejoice for we have achieved the ultimate goal of all parents.

Friday, April 17, 2009

We all need it!

You can only talk when there is some listening, right? Otherwise, you must be wrong somewhere in the head. You would not be striving hard for good grades in a certificate unless you know someone is going to look at it someday. We would not be choosing suitable, beautiful clothes if we do not want others to see us in them. We comb our hair in a certain fashion; we colour our lips strikingly red; we wear all kinds of jewellery and ornaments just to make ourselves attractive so that others will pay attention to us.

You have got it! We need attention! So does our children. Many of the tantrums children throw are messages to parents to heed them and their needs.

I know a child who would throw a tantrum each time his younger brother took his toys to play. Since this elder son has a lot of toys to play with, why does he exhibit such a behavior? Actually, it is a message to the parents. He feels he has been neglected since the arrival of the younger child. Almost all attention has been given to the younger one. So, the only way to attract the parents to himself is to make some noise. The fact is each time he throws a tantrum, he does get attention although it is a negative type. This attention reinforces the action of throwing tantrums. Soon, such behavior becomes his habit. So, the parents claim it is his nature to be so bad temper. This judgement on the part of the parents fixes the behavior and the child himself believes he is that type of person. Even his parents say so, so how can he change?

Sometimes pupils misbehave in the classroom and teachers think of a thousand and one reasons but seldom get the right answer to the problem.

Pupils are usually problematic because they are bored with the teaching or the work in the classroom. There are at least two reasons they could be bored.

One of them is that they are unable to follow the lesson due to their low proficiency level in the language medium. They cannot understand what the teacher is explaining. Even if it is in their mother tongue, the level is too high. Without being able to understand, how interested can the child be?

Imagine yourself being put into a Sanskrit class when your proficiency of that language is either low or zero! You would be merely hearing sounds that carry no meaning. Can you sit and listen quietly for forty minutes, an hour, a day, five days a week, about forty weeks a year without giving up? I can tell you this; it is torture! So, how can we blame the child for not paying attention?

In fact, when I taught English and my class consisted of students who had very low proficiency, I always told the senior English Language Officer and the Principal that I would not be following the syllabus. They were usually worried about what the Federal Inspectorates would say. I told them I would be responsible if there were any complains. I did not wish to follow a syllabus which would not help my students. I would go down to their level and from there help them to reach whatever level they were capable of. We must always teach from the known to the unknown.

Unless the above is done, the students in a weak class have no way out of the boredom. As frustration at not learning anything sets in and nobody paying attention to their plight, mischief or some kind of distraction created by them would be the only other way out. They have to create the mischief or die of boredom. The mischief is a kind of attention drawn to their problem. And it works for them, in a negative manner, as the teacher gives them some attention in the process of scolding them.

Unfortunately, this kind of attention can never bring students and teachers together. It only leads to greater misunderstanding of the children’s needs and result in more antagonism between the two parties.

Understand the cause of the mischief and have the courage to fulfill their needs. That is the duty of every parent or leader.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Negativity drives parents and children apart.

"No! You must not do that!"

"No! I can never allow such things!"

"No! No! and No!"

Sometimes, our children get too many of such responses to requests.

We ought to examine our feelings we had concerning such matters when we were young. If we are always told whatever we wish can never be allowed, how did we feel? Of course, we were unhappy. This part should not deter us from refusing something that will be detrimental to our children. What we should look into is 'Did we feel the answer was unjustified; that our request was made properly and our need was right and proper."

What ought to be done is to find out the reason for wanting something. Is the want beneficial? Can there be harm. Let our children know we care. Let them understand our concern. Let them realise we are not being unreasonable. They will appreciate it, even though not at the moment of refusal. Although they may show a frustrated face, they will come to understand what we are doing for them.

Wanting to know and understand our children's wishes, discussing with them, telling them why and what we think thus; helping our children share our feelings; revealing to them the actual reason for not wishing them to do something, will get them to understand us better.

Through talking with them about their wishes, they will understand we are not merely going against their wishes; that our "No!' is a clear indication that we love and care.

Unfortunately,many parents do not have the time to explain to their children. They demand to be obeyed. When this happens, the frustrated child moves away from requesting permission. They do whatever they wish without consulting the parents. The parents no longer have the opportunity to guide their children; as they would no longer be confided to by their children in their activities; and that is dangerous.

Such children have distanced themselves from their parents; going into activities without the benefit of the wisdom of their parents. Sometimes, such children end up well while there are those less fortunate who find the wrong company and fall into problems they are unable to get out of, especially when they no longer consult their parents anymore for advice or means to overcome them.

So, negativity can drive a wedge between our most precious children and us, leaving us no chance of assisting them in steering their ship to success and safety.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

We reap whatever we have sown.

Once upon a time, my wife and I used to travel from Sungai Petani, Kedah to sungai Dua, Penang in search of orchid plants for their exotic blooms. The flowers are sometimes used by me in floristry.

While passing a small town known as Kepala Batas, we noticed some orchid plants in the garden of a house. We stopped to admire the beautiful flowers. As we reached the gate, we were shocked by an frightening cry from within the house. It was like the anguished cry of a trapped animal. Then, the owner of the house appeared and i requested permission to have a closer look at her orchids.

As we were appreciating the beauty of some of her flowers, the bizarre cry was heard again. curious, i asked the lady what cry that was. At that, she looked so sad and did not seem to want to respond to my enquiry.

It was only when we got to know her better with more frequent stops to admire the flowers that she became friendlier with us. Then, one day, just after we heard the same cry again, she began to tell us it was the sound of her son. Puzzled and surprised, i asked what her child's problem was.

She quietly led us into her house. She took us to a room at the back portion within which was seen a very thin naked figure lying on the floor. The smell from that room was nauseating and it was only with great effort that my wife and I managed not to vomit. The door to the room had been cemented permanently shut with two openings in the door; at the bottom was a slit approximately four inches high, certainly not big enough for any human to squeeze through; and higher up was a barred window through which we could see the figure in the room.

What she told us was a tragic story of how a family suffered; had to imprison their eldest child to prevent the themselves from being threatened with harm and death.

Many years ago, the family was very rich with a thriving business in the town. The child was pampered with everything he demanded. With lots of money at that time, his demands was not a problem. Unfortunately, too much money for a boy of fourteen meant he could avail himself of anything, be it good or bad.

With his money, he tried everything, form girls to drugs. He discovered the easy availability of drugs. As expected,he soon got addicted. Addiction lead to the need for more daily dosage of expensive drugs. Even for the rich, he found that the money given him was not enough.

Before long, the parents realised that a lot of money was being used to support his addiction. They began to oppose his wasteful spending of their money. Without money to feed his addition, he became angry with his parents. when anger did not get him what he demanded, he threatened them with a knife. At first, fear for their lives made them submit to his demands.

However, the demand for more and more money each passing day was a strain on them. One day, to overcome their miserable dilemma, they locked him up in his room.

His savage behaviour shocked them when he broke down the door, grabbed a long knife and demanded more money. From then on, they never could have a good night's sleep, unsure what calamity the next minute might bring.

The stress eventually became too great for the family to bear and so they decided to imprison him in the room we saw.

At first, when they witnessed his withdrawal symptoms, they almost sympathised with him. But realising the difficult situation they faced, they had to harden their hearts and bear the pain of knowing that there was just no way out. They did want people to know the shame they have brought upon themselves.

They would throw him clothes but those clothes were never worn. Each day they pushed in plates of food and bowls of water through the four-inch slit below the door. A long stick was used to retrieve the metal plate and bowl. A hose was used to direct sprays of water to bathe their son and clean the room. When i saw him, he had been in that room a good number of years.

I have known of at least two drug addicts who were pampered children. Miserable were their lives. Thus, as parents, we must never pamper our children. No matter how difficult it is, love them enough to say 'No!' to things or behaviour that is harmful to them.

As a parent, I know it pains us or bring anxiety or guilt sometimes, when we have to discipline our children. We have to remind ourselves that our children need discipline to grow into strong, useful people.

To end, perhaps this particular story i heard sometime ago is appropraite.

A prisoner was being lead to the gallows. The mother rushed forward to hug him for the last time. The prisoner put his mouth to his mother's ear. He bit off her ear! Then, he turned tearfully to his mother and said,"If you had loved me enough to teach me the difference between good and bad; punish me when I am bad, I would not have to die this way."

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Sleep your way to healthy growth.

In today's world, there is so much for the child to enjoy indoors. There is the television with its many channels of films, entertainment and numerous interesting advertisements. There is the computer and the numerous games our children can play. These games which enterprising people have created so ingeniously as to lead our children's interest on and on, day after day, forever and ever.Before long, our children are addicted. Sleep is no longer important. Addiction overcomes sleep.

When this happens, parents find difficulty getting their children away from the television or the computer. We get tired zombies early in the morning going through the process of preparing for school. Their minds too tired to concentrate, these children doze on their desks, forced every now and then to peer at the teacher and put on some pretense of studying, the body waiting for the time to go home for a much needed nap.After the nap, the cycle repeats itself and the growth and health of these children deteriorate. Of course, their studies deteriorates too!

Growth especially depends upon sleep. Sleep gives the body the opportunity to mend itself, to develop and strengthen. Without enough sleep, the body not only does not develop well; it weakens!

With a weakened immune system, sickness charges in. One of the first indication of a weakened immune system is an attack of cold.

The powerful effect of sleep on our immune system and health can be observed through the quick recovery from cold merely through having sufficient sleep.

It is noted that the importance of sleep does not easily come to our senses. Knowledge and parents' role as models are the only way to get children to understand.

When my children were young, i put aside everything else to be with them at about 8.00pm. to read stories from the Ladybird Reading Programme and, later, other short stories. Usually by a little past 8.30, the lights would be out. I would lie down with them, communicate softly with them and then pat them to sleep. This part of the day is structured so as to assist the body to fall asleep at a certain time. They fall asleep easier because they do not nap in the afternoon or evening.

This worked for my children and they awaken to each new day fresh with sufficient replenished energy for another day of learning.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Mastering depression.

The first time I saw depression, it was mirrored on the face of a person I knew. The face was sad, without confidence, the eyes looking away from the person who was talking to her. Most times, it was a monologue, a one way communication. Sometimes, the person distanced herself away from the people around, went around on her lonesome. Every now and then, she talked to herself, cried or laughed to herself.

Depression is brought on by the inability to handle a certain situation, finds no solution to the problem and eventually believes no one can help to solve it. Alone with the problem causes the mind to think there is no way out, the burden cannot be removed except for the mind to think of an escape, to escape into one’s own private world where one can lose the depressing problem.

When someone is unable to handle a situation; too much work or too difficult to accomplish or overcome, the person feels the weight of the work on his/her shoulders. If the work can be shared, and he/she knows there is someone else to turn to, it can never lead to depression. Tough, tired and exhausted but never depressed.

If it is a human relationship problem, the situation can be handled through understanding that it may be god’s guide to another even better relationship. Life is not just one relationship.

Getting involved in the activities of life allow the mind to move away from the problem. Sharing our painful thoughts with close friends or God can help elevate oneself from such a problem. That is one reason we have confessions in church where people can share their troubled thoughts with God.

If the situation eases after a short period, then there is relief. If the problem persists with no sight of a solution, the stress is too long and somewhere in the mind, something breaks down and hopes to find solace in depression. That is why there must be rest, a vacation, a distraction, every now and then, to move away from the pressures of life.

Sharing one’s sorrow helps to lighten the load. That is the reason we need good friends who can lend a sympathetic ear to our problems and show concern by suggesting ways to overcome the situation.

I believe it is one reason researchers discover that married people live longer and happier lives. There is always the spouse to share whatever terrible stress we have received from the office. The spouse listens and pacifies or lovingly shows there is at least one person in the world who cares.

So, through knowing that there is always someone who can help, through sharing, through taking breaks and through a lover, the darkness of the night is not so cold and a new day dawns with the warm rays reaching out towards us. These are the ways of preventing or mastering depression!

However, should depression managed to overcome anyone, there is still another solution besides the psychiatrist. I have personally helped a very young girl recover from depression by taking her to The Art Of Living. This was related in an earlier posting in which I have revealed how the Bhasrika, knowledge and the singing of the Bhajans have helped.

For adults, the Sudarshan Kriya is a wonderful breathing technique which has helped many.

Allow The Art of Living volunteers in the 146 countries in the world to reach you if you encounter or know of such cases which need help. For further assistance, email me and I will do whatever I can.

Further information on the Sudarshan Kriya can be found in
http://www.artofliving.org/

Sunday, April 12, 2009

"Aarrrgh....! Look! I need it!" What?

You can only talk when there is some listening, right? Otherwise, you must be wrong somewhere in the head. You would not be striving hard for good grades in a certificate unless you know someone is going to look at it someday. We would not be choosing suitable, beautiful clothes if we do not want others to see us in them. We comb our hair in a certain fashion; we colour our lips strikingly red; we wear all kinds of jewellery and ornaments just to make ourselves attractive so that others will pay attention to us.

You have got it! We need attention! So does our children. Many of the tantrums children throw are messages to parents to heed them and their needs, one of which is attention.

I know a child who would throw a tantrum each time his younger brother took his toys to play. Since this elder son has a lot of toys to play with, why does he exhibit such a behavior? Actually, it is a message to the parents. He feels he has been neglected since the arrival of the younger child. Almost all attention has been given to the younger one. So, the only way to attract the parents to himself is to make some noise. The fact is each time he throws a tantrum, he does get attention although it is a negative type. This negative attention reinforces the action of throwing tantrums. Soon, such behavior becomes his habit. So, the parents claim it is his nature to be so bad tempered. This judgement on the part of the parents fixes the behavior and the child himself believes he is that type of person. Even his parents say so, so how can he change?

Sometimes pupils misbehave in the classroom and teachers think of a thousand and one reasons but seldom get the right answer to the problem.

Pupils are usually problematic because they are bored with the teaching or the work in the classroom. There are at least two reasons they could be bored.

One of them is that they are unable to follow the lesson due to their low proficiency level in the language medium. They cannot understand what the teacher is explaining. Even if it is in their mother tongue, the level is too high. Without being able to understand, how interested can the child be?
Imagine yourself being put into a Sanskrit class when your proficiency of that language is either low or zero! You would be merely hearing sounds that carry no meaning. Can you sit and listen quietly for forty minutes, an hour, a day, five days a week, about forty weeks a year without giving up? I can tell you this; it is torture! So, how can we blame the child for not paying attention?

In fact, when I taught English and my class consisted of students who had very low proficiency, I always told the senior English Language Officer and the Principal that I would not be following the syllabus. They were usually worried about what the Federal Inspectorates would say. I told them I would be responsible if there were any complains. I did not wish to follow a syllabus which would only bring frustration to my students and cause them to misbehave. I would go down to their level and from there help them to reach whatever level they were capable of. We must always teach from the known to the unknown.

Unless the above is done, the students in a weak class have no way out of the boredom. As frustration at not learning anything sets in, mischief or some kind of distraction created by them would be the only other way out. They have to create the mischief or die of boredom. The mischief is a method of drawing attention to their problem. And it works, in a negative manner, for them as the teacher gives them some attention in the process of scolding them.

Unfortunately, this kind of attention can never bring students and teachers together. It only leads to greater misunderstanding of the children’s needs and more antagonism between the two parties.

As we understand that mischief, tantrums or anger shown by children are ways to attract attention from adults, we ought to understand where they have been neglected and have the courage to fulfill their needs.

It is important to give our children positive attention. Such attention will bring us closer to our children.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Understanding wipes out antagonism.

“That woman only knows how to shout! For no reason whatsoever, she shouted at me for blocking her way. How was I to know she would be coming from that direction? How was I to know?”

If you know and understand what kind of person you are dealing with, then such an outburst would not have taken place. You would have understood that she suffers from mood swings. You would have realized that at certain times of the day her bad temper took over. It just did no matter how good she had been just a short while ago.

I had the advantage of knowing such a lady very early in life. During normal times, she was the best type of person you can ever find on planet earth. She would be very friendly, helpful and her beaming smile could put you in heaven! What a gal she was? There were times when she would bring food to share with her friends.

With her, the mood could swing to the opposite side in an instant. When that happened, dark clouds would rush to the scene and thunder threatened to crash down upon any unaware victim.

Fortunately, I understood her moodiness well and could recognize the symptoms of change easily. Whenever the change occurred, I got out of her way to a safe distance. With that, I remained her good friend until I was given a transfer away from there.

People used to ask me why she never shouted at me. I told them that, by that time, they should have known her type. They should have been able to see the dark clouds in her demeanour when her mood changed. All they had to do was to leave and stay out of the lightning that would flash forth.

Understand her and you need not feel any antagonism against her. After all, she herself is a victim of emotions not within her control. Be compassionate towards her fate. Given a choice, she would not have wanted it this way! Nobody asked to be like that!

“I don’t want to go with him! He counts every cent he spends!” One of my annoyed friends told me.

Well, what was said was perfectly true. Yet, I did not fault Tan.

I got to know Tan in 1971. We would go out and at the end of the day he would want all the money he had spent divided exactly by two. I had no quarrel with that as it was only right that I pay for my part of the trip and enjoyment. However, for whatever money I took out, he would not offer to share the expenses. That was his calculative habit.

Then, one day, another teacher from his hometown, told me that there was a time Tan sold ice-cream each day to earn his pocket money as he came from a very poor family. In the early 1950’s, each ice-cream sold at five cents each merely fetched him a profit of one cent.

Thus, every cent counted. The past was still with him and he could not let go of that unfortunate period. He was the victim of his past.

When we understand Tan, we realize how fortunate we are. We are blessed with such good fortune. We ought to sympathize with people like Tan. The horrible past remained a burden. What a relief if he could just leave that burden behind!

In fact, it is actually quite easy to overlook such an insignificant characteristic of Tan. He was a very friendly, helpful person who never harms anyone. In his own way, with his jokes and easy-going manner, he is very good company. He was a part of my life for a good number of years as I liked his sincerity in everything he did.

Being able to mix with whoever one encounters in life is important to our happiness. We should teach our beloved children to understand others through relating the various types of people and their peculiarities.

True Love does not take a holiday.

We want so much for our precious children. We wish them to grow, to develop and become someone successful in life. There is so much to accomplish; there is still so much yet to be done. the weekend is starting the next day. though tired from a week of work, love never takes a holiday. We forget our own selves, our own needs. with love, the self is not important. Remember the time you court your wife? well, were we ever tired of making her happy? No, never! For the children we plan a weekend outing to have our children experience a new environment, new things and another source of knowledge and happiness.

I have mentioned before that the whole world is our children's classroom with everything in it our audio-visual aids. How big it is, how much is available depends upon our resourcefulness, our time and affordability. There is so much to discover, so much to enjoy and so much to learn. We are so happy for our children.

Each weekend, we could think of a place to go. Be it near or far, cheap or expensive, that is unimportant. What is more important are the new experiences that it holds for our children.

One such place could be a location with water. Children are naturally fascinated by the presence of water.

A waterfall would be lovely and refreshing. The whole family can relax under its cascading water. The sound of falling water drives off the daily worries that hound us throughout the week. The laughter of children frolicking in the water brings back memories of our care-free youth.

For our children, it will be an experience that theycan fall back on when life becomes burdensome someday. It is not just a dream but a wonderful experience they would have shared with their loving parents.

Use language to direct their attention to the scene there. Direct them towards the cold, refreshing water; the sprays that patter onto the body; the droplets that flow delightfully down from the head to the face and the body; and the sheet of endless water that rolls down, smashing with such force upon the rocks and the water below; raising foamy bubbles as it merges with the river.

Then, we can direct our children's attention to the glee and excitement expressed in the faces and body movements of other children. Get them to listen to the laughter and shouts of delight. look at the playfulness and the boisterous games some may be having. Have our children take a dip in the cold water to experience for themselves the feeling as the iciness assaults their senses. Let them realise how it can pep them up. Let them have the opportunity to respond to cold; shivering initially and then the reflexive vigorous shaking, jumping and clasping of theirbodies to bring body heat out to combat the freezing water. They will know how their bodies can acclimatise to the water's temperature. with that, they will be just as sprightly and energetic in the water as other children.

Make them realise how people appreciate the sun more in such circumstances, how they can adjust to the cold; how they can savour the contrast feel of cold and heat!

If we have introverts among us, the atmosphere at such a vibrant and boisterous environment can assist to bring them out of the introvert shell. They lose themselves, their shyness and would help them to express themslves more openly.

This is one way we can help introverts who are too timid, who find it a problem to mix and play with other children.

I know from experience that an introvert can open up and change if they are given the right environment to do so. They can change to such an extent that others would never believe that they were introverts at one time. You see, I am such an introvert. Through situations like the above, through my friends and their encouragement for me to participate fully in their programmes, I achieved the ability to speak confidently in front of crowds, to act without hesitation when and where necessary.

Sometimes, which is very seldom, i do feel the timidity of my soul, peeping out so self-consciously as I go through life. There are times i feel so awkward that I say and do the wrong things.Sometimes, something seemed to get me to do or not to do certain things and as a result the path of my life changes. At such times, I wonder if God has a purpose in mind.

Nevertheless, to this day I am more extrovert than introvert.

Back to our children, we can see how much benefits we can give them. Love brings gifts more valuable than those purchased from supermarket shelves!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

An excellent start in society.

"Wow! Isn't he great! Hey, young little fellow, where did you learn such good manners?"

Is not such praise what we would like to hear others give our child?

However, that can only happen with the correct teaching and guidance.

Just as a kid can be taught to ask to be taken to the toilet; with the right training, so can a kid be taught how to greet people.

From the earliest possible time, when opportunity presents itself, like the time we and our child meet a neighbour, tell him or her what to say to the uncle or auntie.

"Say hello to uncle. Say: Hello, uncle." Our voice should be encouraging and clear.
Accept any mumbling of the greeting with praise.

Practice makes perfect. Do this greeting as often as circumstances permit. Our children will soon get used to greeting people. With appropraite praise and encouragement, even a timid child will gain sufficient confidence to greet people.

Before a function, prepare our children to greet people by telling them how to do it.Then, at the right time, prompt them to to say the necessary. If necessary, tell them the words to use. However, never ever laugh at our children's clumsiness. If ever, they falter, give them the right words again. that is what correct teaching is all about. There must be no discouragement through any action or words. Never hurt our children's feelings. And remember they are still very young with many more years to learn.

From experience, I can assure anyone that the adults around will be pleased with the attempts by our children. They will show their pleasure at such politeness with smiles, delight and kind words; all these will be ample reward for our children. Such rewards are the nutrients for the healthy growth of self-esteem.

We are not merely developing self-esteem; we are also teaching the right behaviour, the right manners and the knowledge that approval is always given to the right deeds. Even more important, success in society begins thus with the right behaviour, habits and attitude.

To have our children well liked and popular at such a young age; is not this an excellent start?

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Parental duty makes the difference.

There are times when untrained children wet or messed up their shorts or skirts so frequently that exasperated parents let out their emotions with derogatory words with such vehemence which were definitely bad for the self-esteem or confidence of any child.

Let me share with you what happened when an acquaintance and his family visited us for the first time. The father was discussing a political issue with me while the mother was talking about her neighbours with my wife.

They did not pay attention to their little child who crawled all over the place. My children, in the meantime, had a tough time getting the child to be interested in their toys. He would take one toy after and wander to the kitchen and back of the house.

As the family was leaving, the mother gave a scream as she had just discovered that her child had excreted into his pants and the excreta had gone onto her arms as she lifted him up. There was excreta on the floor too, perhaps all over the place.

She let out a lot of unprintable words and, in her embarrassment, called her child useless. She continued with a lot of other nasty remarks and scolding for the child. But, whose fault was it? Who should be termed 'useless' in such circumstances. The father merely looked on.

The child had at no time indicated his desire to defecate. Obviously, it was not the first time he had done it. Certainly, that child had not been taught or trained to inform or to go to the proper place to do it.

Parenting is not an easy duty but it has to be done for the love of our child.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Visiting beautiful places.




The whole world is our children's classroom. Visiting places allows children to see similarities and differences, experience different views, temperature and weather. Get them to feel the joy of beauty in the places they visit. Have them realise there is so much to learn, see and experience.

Reach out for opportunities.

The whole world is right here with us. It offers us everything that is needed. We get light from the moon and the stars at night. It is darker at night so that our brain can produce the melatonin to relax the body for sleep. In the day time, the world is lighted by the sun. It’s glare awaken us for whatever work that needs to be done. It dries whatever is wet and gives us warmth. The sun given us the important vitamin D. It helps the plants and its chlorophyll to produce food and energy. The plants and trees provide food and shelter for other living things. It also gave early Man his fire. Then, there is rain to water the plants and replace our water supply; without which there can be no survival on this earth. Rain also ensures the river water is changed, renewed and topped-up so that its inhabitants can live and grow, providing food to some other living things. God has provided us, human beings especially, with everything.

As though those natural wealth is not enough, God has ensured much, much more by endowing human beings with brains that are fed thoughts on how the world can be improved further with all kind of inventions.

With everything here in our world, all we need is to think of is how much we can utilize everything that exist in this world. Inventors have already shown how much can be done through utilising what ever natural resources and knowledge to create more fascilities. How well we, our precious children and us, utilize all that exists in this world depends upon our knowledge, our strength, our health, our courage and our ingenuity.

To obtain the fullest amount of knowledge, we need to put together all the knowledge acquired through the centuries. We put them in books or the internet. To avail ourselves of such knowledge, we need to be able to read and understand a universal language or another language.

Train for strength and maintain your health as they are important for the energy, effort and capability necessary to put thoughts, ideas and knowledge into action.

Courage is essential to initiate some kind of action in spite of knowing the problems one may encounter in any endeavour.

Ingenuity helps us to devise new methods, new uses, or new packaging of any product in whatever endeavour we set out upon.

All of the above is made possible through god’s gift, the marvelous human mind.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Self-esteem has to be encouraged.

Babies can be trained to urinate and defecate at certain regular times. My beloved wife did it with our two children with great success.

At the time when they were babies, before giving milk at the regular times advised by the nurses, my wife would prompt them with ‘shee….shee…’ sounds. This had the desire effect and they urinated before drinking their milk. Then, at certain times, after drinking milk, my wife would prompt them to defecate by having them lie down on their backs, their legs lifted slightly with sounds of umm….ummm…’ If the period between each action is right, then everything goes according to schedule. (Their life at this time is thus structured.)

As they grew older and are able to communicate, they would inform us each time they wanted to urinate or defecate. At such times, we must response immediately. After each such action, praise for informing must be given with hugs and kisses. Try it out with your child from the very first day and you can be assured they would be hardly any bed-wetting.

What has toilet training to do with success in life? On the surface, it may appear as a small insignificant matter. But, look at it as training and discipline.

In toilet training your child, you teach your child to respond appropriately, doing the right thing at necessary times. That is where discipline begins. With such training, your child learns what needs to be done and eventually the place to go to when nature calls.

Visitors would be amazed that your child knows where to go at such a young age. Through their comments as well as your telling them of your child’s ability to avoid embarrassing bed-wetting or messing up of his or her clothes. Such praises in front of visitors reinforces good habits and establishes the desirable self-esteem of your child.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

The power to change lies in our hands.

Many paths lead to success. When a ‘landslide’ closes one of them, all we need is to look for another path.

In a recession, there is a possibility of retrenchment. When it happens, one path to economic improvement may be closed. We can always find another path. How fast you discover another path depends upon your resilience.

Some people who may not be quick enough to jump up again, would sit on the spot they have fallen and allow their minds to look for reasons for the closing of the path, finding none and despairing of ever having that path cleared, eventually going into depression. When a problem has no solution, surrender it to god, put it aside and move on to another path.

Even in a recession, there are people who will be working. They will have to work doubly hard, spending more time and effort on the job. That would mean they have no time for certain things which still need to be done.

They would need good nutritious meals to stay longer at their jobs. With recession eating away at their pay, would they still go to restaurants to enjoy their food? Here is an opportunity to provide clean, cheaper nutritious food and drinks from a home kitchen. You can afford to sell cheaper as you do not have expensive overheads to look after, and buying food from the market in bulk will be cheaper.

The beautiful part about cooked food and drinks supplying is that you get to prepare your meals at the same time and because the bulk buying is cheaper, your own food expenses will be less. You kill two birds with one stone.

People need to have the grass cut, but they are too tired after having to work even harder. If they already have a lawn-mover, all you need are two strong hands and two steady legs. Take reasonable wages and a few lawns a day will be able to see you through this tough period. Perhaps, it might be the beginning of a service business when more people need such a service. What other services do those who have jobs need? Find out and offer your services. God help those who help themselves because He loves people who make use of the abilities He has given them.

Go for some free-lance work. Use whatever expertise you have to offer. Look into places which offer such type of work. You may go into an address such as: http: //elance.com or some other places. However, free-lancing is tough as there are too many experts around.

Can you play the piano, the organ or the harmonica? Lessons can be given for a reasonable fee. Classes can be small at the beginning. Teach well and your students become your advertisers.

Or you could teach some other thing floral arrangements, languages, drawing, painting, some kind of craft such as batik-painting and whatever skills you have.

As you can see, there are many things we can go into. All we need is the knowledge, have it or look for it; apply it and try it out with relatives and friends; advertise our service, work hard at it and soon everything will be in place.

Thursday, April 02, 2009


Getting ready to go into the river for some discovery, knowledge and adventure.

Another self-made champ: Seizing the opportunity!

A friend asked me how would a person from a poor family who did not have the opportunity to study be able to achieve success.

Well, it is true that without a university education, there can be no opportunity to be a lawyer, a doctor, an engineer or an accountant.

But life is not about being a lawyer, a doctor or an accountant. There are still so many other things in life we can be successful in.

Allow me to tell you a true story of a very poor man who was determined to achieve success and did put his everything into it when opportunity knocked.

I personally know this young man who is about twenty years younger than me. We were together in learning Martial Arts and Qiqong under Sifu Wong Kiew Kit in Wahnam Shaolin, Sungai Petani, Kedah, Malaysia. He was the son of a Chinese herbal drink vendor at a small stall in that part of Sungai Petani named Old Town.

He had very little schooling as his family was poor. As a teenager, he was a newspaper boy, delivering newspapers to his customers.

Fortunately, he had intelligence, courage, strength, coordination of movements and so was fast in everything he does. He had a strong determination to succeed. He saved whatever money he could.

At one stage, he used to come to me to help him get orchids to plant and sell in the compound of a house he bought.

We used to discuss his ideas. He even requested for temporary occupation of government land to plant vegetables and fruit trees in another town, Merbok.

One day, the government thought of getting back the land for a Disney-like tourist attraction. He got a huge sum of money from the government when he had to give away his fruit plantation on the land.

With that money, together with some people, he invested in a packaging factory.

Today, with a wife who is just as hardworking and intelligent, he has extended his business, having another factory in Kuala Lumpur.

With his hard work and strength, he started projects. When the opportunity came, he quickly used the sudden financial improvement to start something even bigger. The rest was more hard work and greater returns and that is the business of packaging.

So, there are always opportunities. All our children and us need is to be ready for such opportunities. Yes, get ready, learn everything there is to be learned, keep ready whatever money there is and do whatever that can and ought to be done so that when the boat of opportunity comes, we are ready to jump aboard to sail to success.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Vital ingredient to achievement of highest potential.

How many times have we fallen down on our buttocks when we were learning to walk? If there was pain, we naturally cried. Yet, we struggled up onto our wobbly legs and continued to walk. If we had given up then because of the pain, would we be walking well today? We are, by nature, resilient.

After all, the child who feels the pain each time he/she falls could have thought, “Since it is painful, what is the point of trying? And is it not the logical thing to do? There is always someone to carry the child anywhere he/she wants to go. Hah.. That is not exactly true. Parents may carry him/her but not certainly to the place the child has in mind. To reach the intended place, the child must put in some effort of his/her own. The ability to choose the place to go to is the motivation for the effort.

Yes, resilience has to be encouraged. There must be motivation. So, through motivation, children can be encouraged to be resilient; they must be shown or taught that losing a battle does not necessarily mean the loss of a war.

Tell our children of the numerous times Edison failed before his electric bulb could brighten our nights.

Tell our children of the Canadian doctor who was knocked down by cancer. When her doctor told her she had only three months left to live, she did not sit down and moan her fate. She searched for recovery and attended the basic course of The Art of Living. During that first course, she was carried in on a stretcher. In time to come, she walked in by herself. She recovered from her cancer! What resilience she has!

I have heard of another woman who recovered from 3rd stage cancer by eating flaxseed and other healthy food. What enthralled me most was the fact that this 3rd stage cancer patient did not give up regaining her health. She had the resilience to pick herself up again through positive action with the knowledge and experience of other people!

In gymnastics, there are many times when the beginner might just have given up with the difficulties encountered achieving certain movements of agility and balance as well as vaulting. Success lies in the hands of the coach. Assistance and encouragement are necessary to have the gymnast put in further effort and gain that little bit of extra confidence to pull himself or herself through; to help him/her to be more resilient.

To achieve our highest potential takes a lot of effort, time and the conquering of the many potholes in life. These could mean some kind of failure or obstacle on the way. If we falter or give up before the goal is reached, the potential can never ever be realized. To reach the goal, to accomplish whatever we can, we have to be resilient; we must have the strength to carry on despite the pain, despite the obstacles, despite the odds, despite anything.

The great inventors such as the Wright brothers did not give up when things did not go the way they wanted. They persisted and their resilience saw them through to give them a place in history and also us the planes to take us places.

Without a doubt, we must be resilient in achieving whatever goals we dream of. If ever we fail, and we are sure to have to face failure every now and then, we must get back up and going for whatever lies ahead. There is still so much to learn. As we learn, with the new knowledge that we gain, we discover there is so much more we can do, so much to achieve, so much more to accomplish, so much more meaning in life to experience!Wow!Let's look forward to whatever God has in store for us.