Resorting to violence. So...?

“Buy me the toy plane! I want the toy plane!” the child shouted at the father. And when his demands fell on deaf ears, he kicked his father’s legs as hard as he could. The father did not seem to be able to find a solution and allowed his tantrums and violence to continue.

What kind of child will this little boy become? What sort of violence would he resort to when he becomes as strong or as big as his father?

First, this could be a pampered child who has always got whatever he demanded. He throws tantrums and shows his unhappiness knowing that such exhibition of his behavior usually gets him what he wants. He knows such behavior does attract the right attention. Who taught this boy such knowledge? The person who pampered him, of course!

To avoid such behavior, parents must never ever reward a child for his tantrums or violence. Even if the thing demanded is necessary for the child, refuse giving it to him then. To give him whatever he demanded then would be teaching him that such behavior is the way to obtain it; we are encouraging such behavior. Only when he quietens and obeys you, do you give him whatever he needs. When doing so, tell him you did not want to give it to him then because his behavior was horrible and now that he wants to behave properly, you like him for it and so reward him with the thing he wanted. Let him know how he should behave.

However, the child who throws tantrums and misbehaves might also be a neglected child with no strong bond for the parents and knows that the parents do not care enough to do anything about his or her actions. The child has been allowed to do as he/she wishes. So, without the needed attention, the child either has to sulk in a corner if he/she is the timid type or shouts, cries and jumps around if he/she is an aggressive child.

The neglected child should be given the proper attention. We must show the child we care. What we must never do is to give the excuse that there is no time to give attention. We ought to remember the child did not asked to be brought into this world. We conceived him or her and therefore has the responsibility of looking into his/her needs.

Whether we have a pampered child or a neglected child, we and perhaps the world would have to suffer for what we have sown.

The parents in the story above have started to suffer what the child may dish out. If we are lucky, only that child's immediate community may have to bear the brunt of his/her vengeance on adults who have failed him/her.

By writing I hope to play my part; take up this responsiblity to prevent more problems to our world. Of course, alone, I cannot do much if we do not help each other by sharing our experiences and knowledge, or inspire ourselves to greater goals to make this world a better place.