Never underestimate peer group influence.

Our children learn from us, the parents, the mother tongue and any other knowledge you are able to impart to them. Most probably, they learn other languages from you too. Then, the teachers play their part, teaching the school curriculum. Next to teach your children, are their peers.

From the time our child mixes with other children, we ought to watch out what our child learns from his/her peers. When my elder son went to attend kindergarten he came back with vocabulary which we never use in our home. It was a vulgar word learned from another child who must have said it often enough to have my son know its pronunciation well. However, he had yet to know its meaning. Ever vigilant for such things, I immediately told him that it was not a good word; a word not necessary to acquire. We do not use such a word in our house, I told him. To this day none of my sons use such vulgar language, and they are now young adults. Of course, from my observation, they now understand the word but they do not use such words because such words are never heard in our home.

Besides the type of language, we have to watch out for other ideas, attitudes and actions. This is because our child needs to belong; to belong to a group, to choose a group of friends to associate with, to interact with. Our child have to learn to fit in with the group, its ideas, its attitudes and its actions. The most aggressive, not necessary the cleverest but possibly the strongest or toughest, would be the group’s leader. What would become of the group depends upon this leader and his/her background.

If the leader happens to be the well-behaved, energetic person who has lots of initiative and a willingness to learn; then the group will be benefiting from his/her good influence. If the leader is the destructive, uncooperative type who is unwilling to participate and has been exposed to all kind of vulgar language and actions, then the parents have to watch out for the negative changes in their children and take immediate action to guide the children back to the right track. As a teacher I have seen how peer groups in school can help each other reach greater heights or destroy all that parents have done for their children.

As such, there is no alternative but to beware and be forever vigilant, ready to take immediate remedial action with great parental love when necessary.Immediate action is of utmost importance as once certain undesirable habits are entrenched would be difficult to extricate. However, all remedial actions must be made cautiously, carefully and with love.