Recently, I received an e-mail which encouraged receivers of the mail to forward it to friends and other people with the hope of exposing a syndicate which has cheated a colleague of the e-mail writer. The writer believes that by exposing the method used, it could prevent other unsuspecting people from falling for the same ruse.
Looks like there are many such syndicates on the internet. Till today, (touch wood) I have been lucky to not fall prey to such people. God must be looking after me very well. Thank you, I do count my blessings. Still, it's always good to know what can possibly happen to us, so please read on.
This is the e-mail writer's colleague’s experience. One Saturday, he received a phone call from a certain bank. It was a system playback message announcing that this colleague had an outstanding balance of RM4,982 on his credit card. He was politely requested to make the payment as soon as possible. The system playback sounded just like the ones officially used with “For customer service, please press 1, for………….”
Since this colleague did not have a credit card from this bank, he pressed ‘1’ to talk to the customer service. And after providing his name and IC number, the customer service told him that there was a credit card under his name. He responded that he did not apply for it. The customer service said that it was possible that people stole his information and made a credit card with it.
Customer service then suggested that he called Bank Negara - Pusat Pengurusan Kad Palsu (Management Centre for False Cards) to make a report so that they could investigate on it. Since the next day was Sunday, Customer service suggested that he make the phone call on Monday and provided him with the phone number 03-8659 0241 .(This is a false number. Bank Negara does not have such a department.)
On Monday morning, he made a phone call to the given number, he could hear the announcement "Terima Kasih kerana menhubungi Bank Negara...(Thank you for contacting National Bank…)" After that he talked to a guy who spoke in the Malay Language. The guy returned his call later with the same caller ID, and started to ask for details of his complaint. The guy also kept on telling him that if what he said was not true, he would be charged by the police and jailed. The guy then asked for all his credit card details; whether he had ever used a credit card on ATM, his ATM card and the balance in it. The guy also told him not to expose the report details to his friends as it might affect the investigation results.
After that the guy gave him a report number and mentioned that a colleague from another department would help him to secure all his bank accounts. (They do this to make people believe that they are genuine National Bank Officers, so that the victims would cooperate with them.)
After a while, he received a phone call from a woman who told him that they had suspended all his bank accounts. But not the ATM card as they could not do it remotely, hence she wanted him to go to his bank's ATM machine, and key in some special "PIN" numbers to deactivate the card. After he reached the ATM, the girl called him and told him that what he saw on the screen was not the true information. He just needed to key in the PIN number given by her. So he just followed the steps given and keyed in everything. She then told him to destroy the transaction slip and throw it away. She told him he could not use his ATM cards and other bank accounts for the next three days. (Keying in the ‘PIN’ provided by the woman into the ATM is not the right thing to do. The given ‘PIN’ is actually somebody’s account number and the transaction made is the amount transferred out of the victim’s account.)
Actually, one can confirm with the National Bank concerning their such actions. The National Bank has a toll-free number. The actual number could be obtained from the internet.
From the e-mail I gather that the victim is a senior engineer in the e-mail writer’s office. Well, even for such a person, there are moments of panic or anxiety which could lead one to lose touch of sanity and become so gullible as to willingly transfer a sum of money out of his account.
Well, things can happen to just anybody. However, now that we are all forewarned on this matter, we can hardly be easy target for such a syndicate. Anyway, do watch out!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Just like their guardians.
Read today’s ‘In the News’ about the five-year-old Siberian girl who was raised by dogs and cats from the age of two and a half years old. She barks just like the dogs and lapped up food from the plate like cats and dogs.
From ‘The Sun’ newspapers, dated 30 May 2009, was a report on other children brought up by animals. There was this Russian boy who was reared by a guard dog. He walked on all fours and behaved exactly like a dog. Another case was the ‘Monkey Boy’ of Uganda who walked with the monkeys on his knees. He imitated the way monkeys approached other monkeys. Then, there was the well-known two little Indian girls raised by a female wolf. Like the wolf, they ate meat, howled and walked on their hands and feet. And there was a young girl reared by a bear in Jalpaiguri, India. Her behaviour was so bear-like; biting, scratching, growling and moving like a bear.
Are you surprised at the behaviour of the children raised by animals. We shouldn’t be. Look around you. I remember the children of one of my landlords walking so much like his father that had they been of the same size, height and with their backs turned towards me, I would easily have mistaken one for the other. This landlord is singled out as he had a peculiar walk which his children somehow manage to imitate very well.
For others, it could be the voice. So similar to the parents were the voices of some grown children that we could not differentiate them and thought the other person was on the phone at a good number of times.
I have also noticed how vulgar some children are. Visit their homes and, unless they have been under much peer group influence; their parents speak just like their children.
The mannerisms are easily noticed in a good number of families. The children either followed the mother or the father, perhaps depending upon which being the dominant parent in their roles as parents or frequency of association.
From here, it is obvious the important role parents play. Because they are the first teacher, also the first model in everything the child learns, parents must be careful to ensure they always portray themselves well to their children. Habits that are good should be exhibited to the children but not those that are detrimental to their development, be it physical, health, spiritual or moral.
From ‘The Sun’ newspapers, dated 30 May 2009, was a report on other children brought up by animals. There was this Russian boy who was reared by a guard dog. He walked on all fours and behaved exactly like a dog. Another case was the ‘Monkey Boy’ of Uganda who walked with the monkeys on his knees. He imitated the way monkeys approached other monkeys. Then, there was the well-known two little Indian girls raised by a female wolf. Like the wolf, they ate meat, howled and walked on their hands and feet. And there was a young girl reared by a bear in Jalpaiguri, India. Her behaviour was so bear-like; biting, scratching, growling and moving like a bear.
Are you surprised at the behaviour of the children raised by animals. We shouldn’t be. Look around you. I remember the children of one of my landlords walking so much like his father that had they been of the same size, height and with their backs turned towards me, I would easily have mistaken one for the other. This landlord is singled out as he had a peculiar walk which his children somehow manage to imitate very well.
For others, it could be the voice. So similar to the parents were the voices of some grown children that we could not differentiate them and thought the other person was on the phone at a good number of times.
I have also noticed how vulgar some children are. Visit their homes and, unless they have been under much peer group influence; their parents speak just like their children.
The mannerisms are easily noticed in a good number of families. The children either followed the mother or the father, perhaps depending upon which being the dominant parent in their roles as parents or frequency of association.
From here, it is obvious the important role parents play. Because they are the first teacher, also the first model in everything the child learns, parents must be careful to ensure they always portray themselves well to their children. Habits that are good should be exhibited to the children but not those that are detrimental to their development, be it physical, health, spiritual or moral.
Friday, May 29, 2009
The Key to Fighting Colds and Flu by Joseph McCaffrey,MD,FACS
It seemed like it happened every time, and for the longest while I didn't think I could do anything about it. I'd be going along feeling fine and healthy. Then I'd have a critically ill patient under my care. After a few days of stress and interrupted night's sleep, WHAM -- I'd come down with a heck of a cold.
At first, I didn't know what specific steps anyone could take to keep their immune function at an optimal level.
As a physician, I was of course aware of the components of the immune system and their functions. However, like many aspects of wellness, traditional medical training doesn't emphasize how we can support immune function in normal day-to-day life.
When I starting exploring complementary medical treatments, I was surprised at how much research had been done in this area. Once I started applying what I learned, those stress-related colds became a thing of the past. I'd like to share some of what I learned about building up a healthy immune system and fighting off those nasty bugs with you now.
Our immune system is a complex, interacting web of chemical and cellular components that serves to protect us against potential invaders such as bacteria, viruses and cancer cells. Although we often talk about immune "boosting," what we really want is a perfectly balanced immune system (an overly active immune system can damage the body, but that's another story).
A healthy lifestyle supports vitality, including immune health. It's the foundation of any wellness program.
But before we look at how we can strengthen immunity, it's important to understand the specific factors that affect the immune system. These include nutritional deficiencies, infections, trauma, toxins (all too common in today's world), radiation exposure, emotional state and, very importantly, stress.
Stress causes an increase in the hormone cortisol. Short term, this can be beneficial, but long term, an elevation of cortisol is a powerful suppressor of immune function. Stress was one factor that weakened my immune system when I was taking care of those critically ill people.
Fortunately, several behavioral interventions counteract the effects of stress on the immune system. You are probably aware of meditation as a stress management tool. Other proven interventions include clinical biofeedback, relaxation techniques, hypnosis, behavior modification, and visualization and imagery techniques. The techniques that I've personally found most useful are taught by the Institute of HeartMath.
The main thing is to learn a technique that appeals to you and then use it. Increasing stress is part of today's world, and if we don't take steps to counteract it, we'll pay the price with illnesses.
Another factor that affects immunity is sleep, or rather, the lack of it. Even modest sleep deprivation has a profound effect. For example, a study in the Archives of Internal Medicine reported that people who had less than 7 hours sleep a night were more than three times as likely to come down with a cold during the course of the study, than those who had 8 or more hours of sleep. Not only that, difficulty falling asleep and interruptions in sleep during the night greatly increased the risk of developing a cold.
It's easy to see why I got sick so easily when I was worrying about a patient and not getting enough sleep. Managing stress and getting enough sleep is a solid start. Here are some other things you can do to keep your immune system functioning at its best.
Get more exercise. Exercise not only strengthens your muscles, it strengthens your immune system. I won't belabor the point here, but a strengthened immune system is yet another reason to make exercise a regular part of your life.
One point of caution is to keep in mind that exercising steadily for over 90 minutes is counter-productive. At that level of intensity, the exercise itself becomes a type of chronic stress. For most of us this is not an issue, but it certainly is for endurance athletes.
Eat a healthy diet. A healthy diet should be part of any wellness program. Any nutrient deficiency suppresses immune function, as does an excess consumption of sugar and refined foods. Emphasize a wide variety of fruits and vegetables and include healthy fats from adequate amounts of lean protein.
Add immune enhancing supplements. Although a healthy diet is the foundation, supplements can be of benefit as well. Taking a high potency multivitamin and mineral supplement is a reasonable first step. Zinc and selenium are two minerals that are particularly important for immune system support. Be sure your supplement includes them.
Perhaps the most important vitamin to be aware of regarding your immune system is vitamin D -- it affects the immune system at multiple points and is also deficient in many people.
We need exposure to sunlight to generate our own vitamin D. Most people, especially those in the northern states, don't get nearly enough exposure.
Fifteen to 20 minutes of exposure to bright sunlight daily is enough to maintain adequate vitamin D levels. Barring that, you should consider taking a supplement. The amount in a typical multivitamin won't be nearly enough to correct a deficiency. You can have your blood level of vitamin D checked, but it is generally safe to take 1000 to 2000 units a day. Some people require even more.
Keep your digestive system healthy. Many people don't realize that the gastrointestinal tract plays a very important role in overall immune function. Although research into this area is only just beginning, it is clear already that the type of bacteria residing in our GI tract makes a difference.
For this reason, it's a good idea to periodically take a course of probiotic (beneficial bacteria) supplements to help maintain a healthy GI floor. This is especially important if you need to take antibiotics for any reason.
You don't have to be a victim of the latest cold or flu outbreak. If you heed the advice I've just given you, you can count on your immune system to keep you healthy and well.
(This article appears courtesy of Early to Rise's Total Health Breakthroughs, offering alternative solutions for mind, body and soul. For a compliment subscription, visit http://www.toatalhealthbreakthroughs.com)
At first, I didn't know what specific steps anyone could take to keep their immune function at an optimal level.
As a physician, I was of course aware of the components of the immune system and their functions. However, like many aspects of wellness, traditional medical training doesn't emphasize how we can support immune function in normal day-to-day life.
When I starting exploring complementary medical treatments, I was surprised at how much research had been done in this area. Once I started applying what I learned, those stress-related colds became a thing of the past. I'd like to share some of what I learned about building up a healthy immune system and fighting off those nasty bugs with you now.
Our immune system is a complex, interacting web of chemical and cellular components that serves to protect us against potential invaders such as bacteria, viruses and cancer cells. Although we often talk about immune "boosting," what we really want is a perfectly balanced immune system (an overly active immune system can damage the body, but that's another story).
A healthy lifestyle supports vitality, including immune health. It's the foundation of any wellness program.
But before we look at how we can strengthen immunity, it's important to understand the specific factors that affect the immune system. These include nutritional deficiencies, infections, trauma, toxins (all too common in today's world), radiation exposure, emotional state and, very importantly, stress.
Stress causes an increase in the hormone cortisol. Short term, this can be beneficial, but long term, an elevation of cortisol is a powerful suppressor of immune function. Stress was one factor that weakened my immune system when I was taking care of those critically ill people.
Fortunately, several behavioral interventions counteract the effects of stress on the immune system. You are probably aware of meditation as a stress management tool. Other proven interventions include clinical biofeedback, relaxation techniques, hypnosis, behavior modification, and visualization and imagery techniques. The techniques that I've personally found most useful are taught by the Institute of HeartMath.
The main thing is to learn a technique that appeals to you and then use it. Increasing stress is part of today's world, and if we don't take steps to counteract it, we'll pay the price with illnesses.
Another factor that affects immunity is sleep, or rather, the lack of it. Even modest sleep deprivation has a profound effect. For example, a study in the Archives of Internal Medicine reported that people who had less than 7 hours sleep a night were more than three times as likely to come down with a cold during the course of the study, than those who had 8 or more hours of sleep. Not only that, difficulty falling asleep and interruptions in sleep during the night greatly increased the risk of developing a cold.
It's easy to see why I got sick so easily when I was worrying about a patient and not getting enough sleep. Managing stress and getting enough sleep is a solid start. Here are some other things you can do to keep your immune system functioning at its best.
Get more exercise. Exercise not only strengthens your muscles, it strengthens your immune system. I won't belabor the point here, but a strengthened immune system is yet another reason to make exercise a regular part of your life.
One point of caution is to keep in mind that exercising steadily for over 90 minutes is counter-productive. At that level of intensity, the exercise itself becomes a type of chronic stress. For most of us this is not an issue, but it certainly is for endurance athletes.
Eat a healthy diet. A healthy diet should be part of any wellness program. Any nutrient deficiency suppresses immune function, as does an excess consumption of sugar and refined foods. Emphasize a wide variety of fruits and vegetables and include healthy fats from adequate amounts of lean protein.
Add immune enhancing supplements. Although a healthy diet is the foundation, supplements can be of benefit as well. Taking a high potency multivitamin and mineral supplement is a reasonable first step. Zinc and selenium are two minerals that are particularly important for immune system support. Be sure your supplement includes them.
Perhaps the most important vitamin to be aware of regarding your immune system is vitamin D -- it affects the immune system at multiple points and is also deficient in many people.
We need exposure to sunlight to generate our own vitamin D. Most people, especially those in the northern states, don't get nearly enough exposure.
Fifteen to 20 minutes of exposure to bright sunlight daily is enough to maintain adequate vitamin D levels. Barring that, you should consider taking a supplement. The amount in a typical multivitamin won't be nearly enough to correct a deficiency. You can have your blood level of vitamin D checked, but it is generally safe to take 1000 to 2000 units a day. Some people require even more.
Keep your digestive system healthy. Many people don't realize that the gastrointestinal tract plays a very important role in overall immune function. Although research into this area is only just beginning, it is clear already that the type of bacteria residing in our GI tract makes a difference.
For this reason, it's a good idea to periodically take a course of probiotic (beneficial bacteria) supplements to help maintain a healthy GI floor. This is especially important if you need to take antibiotics for any reason.
You don't have to be a victim of the latest cold or flu outbreak. If you heed the advice I've just given you, you can count on your immune system to keep you healthy and well.
(This article appears courtesy of Early to Rise's Total Health Breakthroughs, offering alternative solutions for mind, body and soul. For a compliment subscription, visit http://www.toatalhealthbreakthroughs.com)
Sorry, that's not mine.
Recently, I have received e-mails from a number of people unknown to me informing me how fortunate I was to have struck gold without purchasing any mining tools or entering a gold mine.
Wow! Very soon I would be able to afford the Mercedes which had until now been appearing only in my dreams. I would be in a position to purchase the beautiful double-storey bungalow which could perhaps attract some pretty gals to visit me. With the huge sum of money available through this lottery win I would be able to furnish the bungalow with the best luxurious furnishings any person would envy. Wow! Wow! And Wow!
Wait a minute. Not that I do not believe I can have such fantastic luck. I can consider myself one of the luckiest guy in the world. And that was confirmed by one of the most beautiful girl in the world. (Sh! I’ll not tell you who that is. It’s my secret, okay?) But then, I am also one of the most down to earth guy who just does not believe in getting something for nothing, especially when it comes to cash. How in the world could I be winning a lottery I never bought?
That is a question which tells me somebody must be pulling my legs. And which stranger would be so good as to do that? Certainly, that is not possible unless I am willing to close my eyes, go to sleep and cook up such a dream. After all, such things come from dreams. But the unfortunate thing is, I hardly ever dream. Usually, I am too exhausted when I drop my head on my pillow to have such a luxury. So, no dreams, no belief that first-prize lottery tickets with my name and email address written on it would drop from the sky; therefore no hope whatsoever! Delete the e-mail. Forget it, I am not their sucker.
But then, there are some who would jump into it, hoping some mistake by some person had resulted in their good luck. Who knows? Then when Ai Wei here reads about it, he would regret his whole life not grabbing the cash when somebody wanted to drop some into his lap. Maybe but no;not this guy!
Hah! Through others experience, I have sufficient knowledge to be a wiser man. You see, I have read in newspapers of people who, like me, have been told about their lottery being the first-prize winner; how these people had to sent a sum of money in order to have certain procedures carried out so as to transfer the huge sum of money into their account. Sorry, but eventually it was the informers who struck it rich and not the owners of the non-existing lottery.
Well, others can always hope. However, I would like to caution them. As for me, there can never be any such luck. It just is not possible! Period! You know, this guy is stupid enough to believe what is mine will be mine and what is not mine can never be mine; even if a kind stranger were to be good enough to hand some cash over.No wonder my mother used to tell me “Son, you are not born with a silver spoon in your mouth. So, forget it! Stop dreaming.”
In my heart, I told her, “No, in my mouth is a golden spoon. Just you wait and see.”
“Gosh! I’m still waiting. A little bit better but nothing golden yet.” Was that her voice?
"Hey, I still have many more years to go. Wait and see, okay?"
Wow! Very soon I would be able to afford the Mercedes which had until now been appearing only in my dreams. I would be in a position to purchase the beautiful double-storey bungalow which could perhaps attract some pretty gals to visit me. With the huge sum of money available through this lottery win I would be able to furnish the bungalow with the best luxurious furnishings any person would envy. Wow! Wow! And Wow!
Wait a minute. Not that I do not believe I can have such fantastic luck. I can consider myself one of the luckiest guy in the world. And that was confirmed by one of the most beautiful girl in the world. (Sh! I’ll not tell you who that is. It’s my secret, okay?) But then, I am also one of the most down to earth guy who just does not believe in getting something for nothing, especially when it comes to cash. How in the world could I be winning a lottery I never bought?
That is a question which tells me somebody must be pulling my legs. And which stranger would be so good as to do that? Certainly, that is not possible unless I am willing to close my eyes, go to sleep and cook up such a dream. After all, such things come from dreams. But the unfortunate thing is, I hardly ever dream. Usually, I am too exhausted when I drop my head on my pillow to have such a luxury. So, no dreams, no belief that first-prize lottery tickets with my name and email address written on it would drop from the sky; therefore no hope whatsoever! Delete the e-mail. Forget it, I am not their sucker.
But then, there are some who would jump into it, hoping some mistake by some person had resulted in their good luck. Who knows? Then when Ai Wei here reads about it, he would regret his whole life not grabbing the cash when somebody wanted to drop some into his lap. Maybe but no;not this guy!
Hah! Through others experience, I have sufficient knowledge to be a wiser man. You see, I have read in newspapers of people who, like me, have been told about their lottery being the first-prize winner; how these people had to sent a sum of money in order to have certain procedures carried out so as to transfer the huge sum of money into their account. Sorry, but eventually it was the informers who struck it rich and not the owners of the non-existing lottery.
Well, others can always hope. However, I would like to caution them. As for me, there can never be any such luck. It just is not possible! Period! You know, this guy is stupid enough to believe what is mine will be mine and what is not mine can never be mine; even if a kind stranger were to be good enough to hand some cash over.No wonder my mother used to tell me “Son, you are not born with a silver spoon in your mouth. So, forget it! Stop dreaming.”
In my heart, I told her, “No, in my mouth is a golden spoon. Just you wait and see.”
“Gosh! I’m still waiting. A little bit better but nothing golden yet.” Was that her voice?
"Hey, I still have many more years to go. Wait and see, okay?"
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Never in anger!
Whack!
That's for being naughty.
Whack! that's for breaking this camel's back.
Whack!
That's for the frustration with my workload.
Whack!
That's for the anger boiling in me.
Whack!
You asked for it.
Whack!
you are the one I can let off steam on.
And it is the parent's child who suffers the force of the frustration and anger. Only when the anger had spent itself can the poor child find relief from from the parental storm.
Some people cannot control their anger. Some allow their bad moods to get out of control. Whatever it is, such people create a lot of problems for themselves, their children as well as others.
When I was a young teacher in my first school, there was this lady teacher whom every other person keeps a distance from until they can read her mood on her face. Sometimes she would come with a relaxed, smiling face. At other times, she would enter the teachers’ common room with a face darkened by the ugly dark clouds hovering over her head; thunder and lightning threatening to break out at the slightest instigation.
The comments were interesting: “Her husband did a good job on her last night.” or “No love last night, you’d better not be in my way.”
So, most times unpleasant remarks were made as many perceived her to be frustrated. Less unpleasant remarks would be: “Ai Wei, get out of her way. Someone’s gonna trample all over you.” or "Watch out! Can you see the dark clouds hovering near you?"
Once in a while, we get “Look! Who’s bringing some sunshine in.”
Parents and teachers especially, ought never to punish the children when they are angry. As parents or teachers, we must always remember that the sole purpose of punishment is to teach, never to vent our anger or dismay at having something expensive broken, for example. An expensive object can never be more important than a child. A broken object can be replaced but never a broken child. To punish in anger is most unjustified. It’s a child at the receiving end and that child might not even be the one that started the anger.
Parents who punish in anger often lose control of themselves, causing grievous harm to the helpless child. Angry red welts are usually the result. Sometimes, only when the emotion is spent does the parent realise the damage that had been done.
Then, to show repentance, the parent would hold the child in her arms and apply ointment to the welts he/she had caused. What is the point of remorse at this stage?
The welts may no longer sting; no more blood and no more pain. But the pain is in the heart of the poor child. Who can take away the pain of a betrayed child; a child who would have thought the very arm that caned him/her so viciously should have been the one to protect and care for him/her.
The child had been beaten to the stage where he/she believes that it is not possible that the parent have any love for him/her; not after what the child had gone through. It is a sad, unloved child who receives the ointment. A little of the bond between child and parents has been lost.
If there be such a parent, he/she should realise she has a problem. He/She must reach out for some stress management solution. Such a solution can be found at The Art Of Living, a world-wide organization, that has a breathing technique, knowledge and meditation that have been found to be effective. Such a solution can help the parents, the children, the whole family and society.
With a solution to our problems, let's look forward to a better tomorrow.
That's for being naughty.
Whack! that's for breaking this camel's back.
Whack!
That's for the frustration with my workload.
Whack!
That's for the anger boiling in me.
Whack!
You asked for it.
Whack!
you are the one I can let off steam on.
And it is the parent's child who suffers the force of the frustration and anger. Only when the anger had spent itself can the poor child find relief from from the parental storm.
Some people cannot control their anger. Some allow their bad moods to get out of control. Whatever it is, such people create a lot of problems for themselves, their children as well as others.
When I was a young teacher in my first school, there was this lady teacher whom every other person keeps a distance from until they can read her mood on her face. Sometimes she would come with a relaxed, smiling face. At other times, she would enter the teachers’ common room with a face darkened by the ugly dark clouds hovering over her head; thunder and lightning threatening to break out at the slightest instigation.
The comments were interesting: “Her husband did a good job on her last night.” or “No love last night, you’d better not be in my way.”
So, most times unpleasant remarks were made as many perceived her to be frustrated. Less unpleasant remarks would be: “Ai Wei, get out of her way. Someone’s gonna trample all over you.” or "Watch out! Can you see the dark clouds hovering near you?"
Once in a while, we get “Look! Who’s bringing some sunshine in.”
Parents and teachers especially, ought never to punish the children when they are angry. As parents or teachers, we must always remember that the sole purpose of punishment is to teach, never to vent our anger or dismay at having something expensive broken, for example. An expensive object can never be more important than a child. A broken object can be replaced but never a broken child. To punish in anger is most unjustified. It’s a child at the receiving end and that child might not even be the one that started the anger.
Parents who punish in anger often lose control of themselves, causing grievous harm to the helpless child. Angry red welts are usually the result. Sometimes, only when the emotion is spent does the parent realise the damage that had been done.
Then, to show repentance, the parent would hold the child in her arms and apply ointment to the welts he/she had caused. What is the point of remorse at this stage?
The welts may no longer sting; no more blood and no more pain. But the pain is in the heart of the poor child. Who can take away the pain of a betrayed child; a child who would have thought the very arm that caned him/her so viciously should have been the one to protect and care for him/her.
The child had been beaten to the stage where he/she believes that it is not possible that the parent have any love for him/her; not after what the child had gone through. It is a sad, unloved child who receives the ointment. A little of the bond between child and parents has been lost.
If there be such a parent, he/she should realise she has a problem. He/She must reach out for some stress management solution. Such a solution can be found at The Art Of Living, a world-wide organization, that has a breathing technique, knowledge and meditation that have been found to be effective. Such a solution can help the parents, the children, the whole family and society.
With a solution to our problems, let's look forward to a better tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Knowledge helps to overcome problems.
Once upon a time, they always quarrelled. Each night the husband would return home very late, sometimes slightly drunk after having spent many hours of the night with friends. The poor lonely wife would wait for his return, fuming as the hours slowly drifted by. Inevitably, angry words pour forth as she opened the door to admit the husband.
Fortunately for the family, here was a lady who valued the love she had for her husband and the family. She knew that to continue thus could only lead to her own family’s disaster. So, she thought about her situation. She gathered knowledge on how to tackle her own dilemma.
Through the wise, she realized it was a situation she should have envisaged even before her marriage. After all, he was one who liked to socialise with his friends on most nights before she got to know him. During the days of courtship, she tolerated all that. So why not now? Had love run off when familiarity had established itself in the family?
She realized that love was still strong and it was she who had demanded change. She knew it would be difficult for him to change. That was him. So long as he was faithful, she should accept him just as she had done before this. Knowledge that the man she married was still the same; the love they had was still very much alive; she accepted the situation. It was easier to accept when knowledge and understanding calmed her feelings. With a rational mind, the problem could be looked into clearly.
With acceptance, anger was shown the door. Peace descended on the family. She adjusted her time to his. The husband returned, even at an unearthly hour, to a loving wife. At first, he was surprised at the change. In fact, he was somewhat suspicious. What had caused the wife to behave in such a wonderful manner? He became concerned.
Gradually, through communication, he realized and knew of the problem he had created. Communication passed on knowledge and knowledge caused favourable reactions. He appreciated what had happened and how much effort she must have expended to overcome the problem. Since then he tried to return home earlier. It was the natural reciprocal action. One good turn always deserves another.
No doubt, it was difficult initially. With his friends and their bold ribald laughter, it certainly was not easy. Friends would teased him each night, wanting to know what the wife had in store for him at home to have caused him to change. The ribbing slowly lessened as the friends got used to his earlier than usual departure from them.
This true story ends on a happy note with both the husband and the wife gaining beneficial knowledge and strengthening the invaluable love they shared.
Knowledge is a powerful tool in the hands of those who use it with love and understanding.
Fortunately for the family, here was a lady who valued the love she had for her husband and the family. She knew that to continue thus could only lead to her own family’s disaster. So, she thought about her situation. She gathered knowledge on how to tackle her own dilemma.
Through the wise, she realized it was a situation she should have envisaged even before her marriage. After all, he was one who liked to socialise with his friends on most nights before she got to know him. During the days of courtship, she tolerated all that. So why not now? Had love run off when familiarity had established itself in the family?
She realized that love was still strong and it was she who had demanded change. She knew it would be difficult for him to change. That was him. So long as he was faithful, she should accept him just as she had done before this. Knowledge that the man she married was still the same; the love they had was still very much alive; she accepted the situation. It was easier to accept when knowledge and understanding calmed her feelings. With a rational mind, the problem could be looked into clearly.
With acceptance, anger was shown the door. Peace descended on the family. She adjusted her time to his. The husband returned, even at an unearthly hour, to a loving wife. At first, he was surprised at the change. In fact, he was somewhat suspicious. What had caused the wife to behave in such a wonderful manner? He became concerned.
Gradually, through communication, he realized and knew of the problem he had created. Communication passed on knowledge and knowledge caused favourable reactions. He appreciated what had happened and how much effort she must have expended to overcome the problem. Since then he tried to return home earlier. It was the natural reciprocal action. One good turn always deserves another.
No doubt, it was difficult initially. With his friends and their bold ribald laughter, it certainly was not easy. Friends would teased him each night, wanting to know what the wife had in store for him at home to have caused him to change. The ribbing slowly lessened as the friends got used to his earlier than usual departure from them.
This true story ends on a happy note with both the husband and the wife gaining beneficial knowledge and strengthening the invaluable love they shared.
Knowledge is a powerful tool in the hands of those who use it with love and understanding.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Gambling with neither greed nor selfishness.
Many have at one time or another indulged in gambling. Sometimes, it is just purely fun and to while away time.
I am one of those people who just like to understand people. Gamblers are interesting people. They are good pretenders. Many gamble in order to profit. Look into the mind of a gambler and you see someone hoping to have better cards than his friends, someone watching the faces of the others to see their reaction to the card he had been handed. Most of them reveal their luck in their eyes and their facial expressions. Very few are professionals and can neither hide their excitement nor their disappointment. In gambling, there is only ‘I’, the selfish me who has to emerge the winner, for what is at stake is money, especially so when the stakes are high.
When I was a bachelor living with five other guys, many were the times when we found ourselves with nothing much to do. Gambling was one of the ways to pass time.
However, we knew that gambling itself might remove the joy of it being a game. It might also affect friendship. So, we thought of a way to turn gambling into a fun thing.
We decided to play it in such a way that the overall winner could turn out to be the loser and the loser could possibly be the winner. The others could either be winners or losers depending on the amount won or lost. Thus nobody was too eager to be the winner and the loser not worried about being one. How is that possible?
Well, we limit the sum of money to be placed for each round, a small amount. Then we informed all players that the overall winner would have to pay for everyone’s supper. Thus, if the winner won only a small sum, that might not be enough to pay for the group’s supper; resulting in him being the loser eventually. If the losers lost only a little; less than the price of his supper, he would enjoy his supper with the small amount that he lost. With that, he turns out to be a winner.
In the above manner, only the very small winners won, the rest contributed towards the supper with variable sums of money after a game each evening.
The way it ended with uncertain probabilities created much excitement for us. Of course, we had to be honest about the amount we had won. The biggest winner who pays for everyone’s supper will only know if he wound up the real winner or loser after he had paid the bills.
In this manner, we played happily, never anxious about winning or losing, always ending the day happily at the supper table.
For us, such a game brought us closer, the comradeship was great among us and everyone had a good time. We were all winners.
I am one of those people who just like to understand people. Gamblers are interesting people. They are good pretenders. Many gamble in order to profit. Look into the mind of a gambler and you see someone hoping to have better cards than his friends, someone watching the faces of the others to see their reaction to the card he had been handed. Most of them reveal their luck in their eyes and their facial expressions. Very few are professionals and can neither hide their excitement nor their disappointment. In gambling, there is only ‘I’, the selfish me who has to emerge the winner, for what is at stake is money, especially so when the stakes are high.
When I was a bachelor living with five other guys, many were the times when we found ourselves with nothing much to do. Gambling was one of the ways to pass time.
However, we knew that gambling itself might remove the joy of it being a game. It might also affect friendship. So, we thought of a way to turn gambling into a fun thing.
We decided to play it in such a way that the overall winner could turn out to be the loser and the loser could possibly be the winner. The others could either be winners or losers depending on the amount won or lost. Thus nobody was too eager to be the winner and the loser not worried about being one. How is that possible?
Well, we limit the sum of money to be placed for each round, a small amount. Then we informed all players that the overall winner would have to pay for everyone’s supper. Thus, if the winner won only a small sum, that might not be enough to pay for the group’s supper; resulting in him being the loser eventually. If the losers lost only a little; less than the price of his supper, he would enjoy his supper with the small amount that he lost. With that, he turns out to be a winner.
In the above manner, only the very small winners won, the rest contributed towards the supper with variable sums of money after a game each evening.
The way it ended with uncertain probabilities created much excitement for us. Of course, we had to be honest about the amount we had won. The biggest winner who pays for everyone’s supper will only know if he wound up the real winner or loser after he had paid the bills.
In this manner, we played happily, never anxious about winning or losing, always ending the day happily at the supper table.
For us, such a game brought us closer, the comradeship was great among us and everyone had a good time. We were all winners.
Monday, May 25, 2009
What's love got to do with it?
This writer has gone quite often into the importance of love among two persons who will inevitably become the parents of a child. The reason I do so is that love between the parents is just as important to the healthy and happy growth and development of children. Parents secure in the love of each other perform better than those in loveless stormy shelters.
As a disciplinarian in a school, I have often had to visit and see the homes of children who rebel against teachers and the school system.
There was this boy who would fight with other children at the drop of a hat. He was constantly on the lookout for an opportunity to quarrel and fight. One day, his problems led him to my desk. I told him he must be a good fighter to want to show off his ability every day. He told me there were times he lost but he stressed that before he did he would try to do as much damage as he could. I asked him if he realised that he would be losing a lot of friends through this behaviour of his. He was silent. I told him the importance of having friends; that even teachers are worried that he had become so anti-social. To this, he replied, “Who cares? Even my parents do not bother.”
I was surprised at the answer and decided to pay his parents a visit. That afternoon, I took the boy home so that I could meet the parents.
When I reached his home, the boy ran into the house. I followed and called out to the occupants of the house. One woman came out and asked what I wanted. When I told her my intention for being there, she shouted to someone inside the house, informing the person that a teacher wanted to meet the father. The father loudly told her to manage the matter herself, declaring that he was too tired to appear. He could not be bothered to come out despite being told that his son’s teacher wanted to see him. There was a lot of vulgar language used in the conversation between them. They do not sound very friendly, forget being loving, towards each other.
The woman then asked me the purpose of seeing the parents. I told her about her son’s problem in school. I told her she and her husband had to help the school look into the matter to assist his child to change his ways.
Then, she said that there was nothing much she could do as her son would not listen to her. They did not communicate; I was given the impression. As for her husband, he was seldom at home. And when he did turn up, it was to rest and complain. There was no way she could discuss the matter with him as his temper would flare whenever problems crop up or are brought up.
The child had been brought up in a home which knew not love. It was a volcano just waiting to erupt. There was always this uneasiness in the lull before another storm. The occupants would be ever ready to defend themselves, to hit back, to fight and survive the next catastrophe which is bound to happen, sooner or later. Apparently, the child had learnt much of this hostility from the parents.
Under such circumstances, how is this child ever to learn and understand love for himself and his fellow students? How is he to understand that there can be love among his fellow humans?
As a disciplinarian in a school, I have often had to visit and see the homes of children who rebel against teachers and the school system.
There was this boy who would fight with other children at the drop of a hat. He was constantly on the lookout for an opportunity to quarrel and fight. One day, his problems led him to my desk. I told him he must be a good fighter to want to show off his ability every day. He told me there were times he lost but he stressed that before he did he would try to do as much damage as he could. I asked him if he realised that he would be losing a lot of friends through this behaviour of his. He was silent. I told him the importance of having friends; that even teachers are worried that he had become so anti-social. To this, he replied, “Who cares? Even my parents do not bother.”
I was surprised at the answer and decided to pay his parents a visit. That afternoon, I took the boy home so that I could meet the parents.
When I reached his home, the boy ran into the house. I followed and called out to the occupants of the house. One woman came out and asked what I wanted. When I told her my intention for being there, she shouted to someone inside the house, informing the person that a teacher wanted to meet the father. The father loudly told her to manage the matter herself, declaring that he was too tired to appear. He could not be bothered to come out despite being told that his son’s teacher wanted to see him. There was a lot of vulgar language used in the conversation between them. They do not sound very friendly, forget being loving, towards each other.
The woman then asked me the purpose of seeing the parents. I told her about her son’s problem in school. I told her she and her husband had to help the school look into the matter to assist his child to change his ways.
Then, she said that there was nothing much she could do as her son would not listen to her. They did not communicate; I was given the impression. As for her husband, he was seldom at home. And when he did turn up, it was to rest and complain. There was no way she could discuss the matter with him as his temper would flare whenever problems crop up or are brought up.
The child had been brought up in a home which knew not love. It was a volcano just waiting to erupt. There was always this uneasiness in the lull before another storm. The occupants would be ever ready to defend themselves, to hit back, to fight and survive the next catastrophe which is bound to happen, sooner or later. Apparently, the child had learnt much of this hostility from the parents.
Under such circumstances, how is this child ever to learn and understand love for himself and his fellow students? How is he to understand that there can be love among his fellow humans?
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Recklessness can be disastrous.
Youth is a time of recklessness. It is the time when a person believes he/she can be capable of many things and wishes to test the limits. It is the time of discovery. It is the time to prepare a person to know himself/herself, his strength and his weakness. It is the time to try everything possible before the responsibilities of adulthood and family brings maturity and caution. In maturity, knowledge of self would bring wisdom in adult and family decisions.
There was once a youth who could be said to be adventurous, ever ready to try out things, to test his very own limits.
One of the limits, he tested was his motorcycle’s speed limit. He knew he had to do it on a fairly straight road without much traffic to disrupt his activity. He went to a road on the outskirts of town.
There, he had a good look around to ensure the place was perfect for his intended purpose. Satisfied, he crank-started his motorcycle and raced it along that road. Then at a corner, he slowed a little and went into it with his body aligned to the vehicle to achieved the delicate balance necessary as the bike sheered into the turn with one of the foot-rests almost scrapping the road surface. Immediately thereafter, he straightened out and accelerated ahead.
Nothing can be planned totally. There are always other factors involved. The truth of these statements was soon demonstrated through the appearance of the unknown factor, a dog. Where it came from, no one would know. It rushed out straight into the path of the racing bike. Reacting to the dog’s sudden appearance, he braked but it was just too late. There was a loud crash; a yelping of the hurt dog and the sight of a body thrown upwards and forwards. His arms reached out even as his body was propelled forward through the air. As his hands felt the surface of the road, his body curled up into a ball. Then, momentum carried his body forward, rolling again and again, gradually slowing down after a certain distance. He rolled up onto his feet. He examined his arms and body. Nothing. Only bruises on the palms. He was lucky. Walking to his bike, he found that one of the forks of his bike was damaged. So was the rim of the front wheel.
Fortunately, it had not cost him his life. It was at a speed which could have killed. His only lost was a big sum of money to repair his motorcycle.
The dog had run off; home possibly. The animal was not in sight. He could not find out its injury. The crash could also have cost the dog its life. That was something he would never know.
However, he understood something after this particular accident. He would not want it to happen again. He had lost a big sum of money. A dog could have been the victim of his carelessness. Whatever pain the dog suffered was due to his reckless action. He would not want to tempt fate again. He realised it could have been the end of his life. Worst, it could have left him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. That image of the possible consequence of his recklessness ensured his caution and thoughtfulness in almost every action in his life thereafter.
Knowledge through experience is a powerful tool.
There was once a youth who could be said to be adventurous, ever ready to try out things, to test his very own limits.
One of the limits, he tested was his motorcycle’s speed limit. He knew he had to do it on a fairly straight road without much traffic to disrupt his activity. He went to a road on the outskirts of town.
There, he had a good look around to ensure the place was perfect for his intended purpose. Satisfied, he crank-started his motorcycle and raced it along that road. Then at a corner, he slowed a little and went into it with his body aligned to the vehicle to achieved the delicate balance necessary as the bike sheered into the turn with one of the foot-rests almost scrapping the road surface. Immediately thereafter, he straightened out and accelerated ahead.
Nothing can be planned totally. There are always other factors involved. The truth of these statements was soon demonstrated through the appearance of the unknown factor, a dog. Where it came from, no one would know. It rushed out straight into the path of the racing bike. Reacting to the dog’s sudden appearance, he braked but it was just too late. There was a loud crash; a yelping of the hurt dog and the sight of a body thrown upwards and forwards. His arms reached out even as his body was propelled forward through the air. As his hands felt the surface of the road, his body curled up into a ball. Then, momentum carried his body forward, rolling again and again, gradually slowing down after a certain distance. He rolled up onto his feet. He examined his arms and body. Nothing. Only bruises on the palms. He was lucky. Walking to his bike, he found that one of the forks of his bike was damaged. So was the rim of the front wheel.
Fortunately, it had not cost him his life. It was at a speed which could have killed. His only lost was a big sum of money to repair his motorcycle.
The dog had run off; home possibly. The animal was not in sight. He could not find out its injury. The crash could also have cost the dog its life. That was something he would never know.
However, he understood something after this particular accident. He would not want it to happen again. He had lost a big sum of money. A dog could have been the victim of his carelessness. Whatever pain the dog suffered was due to his reckless action. He would not want to tempt fate again. He realised it could have been the end of his life. Worst, it could have left him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. That image of the possible consequence of his recklessness ensured his caution and thoughtfulness in almost every action in his life thereafter.
Knowledge through experience is a powerful tool.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Smoking was his downfall.
To be good, if not excellent, every individual must be disciplined. Disregard of the factors which determine success in his/her particular field can lead to failure.
I had a gymnast who was initially determined to achieve success. He was always one of the first to be ready for practices. He did very well in competitions winning the individual championship as well as medals in every gymnastic event.
He was selected to be a member of the Kedah state team. He won some medals. For his effort, the state presented him with ‘The most promising gymnast’ of the state medal in recognition of his efforts.
Unfortunately, this recognition was the beginning of his downfall. His friends could have praised him too much. It went to his head. He could have thought he was already sufficiently good to ignore rules, regulations and discipline.
He had a group of friends who made him a hero, a demigod, and he was soon no longer able to see his path to success clearly. Nay, he had lost sight of it.
His group was made up of heavy smokers. He joined them although this coach had told all gymnasts in the team that stamina was important and keeping their airways free of smoke, besides the practice, was of utmost importance where stamina is concerned. Nevertheless,he became addicted to cigarettes.
Although, he did return for training, he did very little; putting in the least effort. Maybe, he thought he was too good for this coach. Then after a certain period of time, he was weaker and unable to complete a routine in floor exercises with sufficient stamina to end it well. He was weak and was not stable; he stumbled as he landed on his feet at the end of each routine.
Eventually, this coach had to give him a warning on his addiction to cigarettes. Then, at the state meet, he failed to get a place in the state team. Other gymnasts have improved while he had deteriorated. He had forgotten what i had taught him; that talent alone does not take a person to the very top. What is required to achieve the best results is lots of training using the right methods. This weakness happened to a gymnast who had shown promise in achieving better results just a year ago!
In every endeavour, no matter what field we are in, discipline and knowledge are important. Knowledge tells us how to achieve a certain level, a particular result. Discipline gets us back on track when distractions appear. Discipline ensures we continue with our goal despite having obstacles appear in our path. Success cannot evade a talented one who carries on despite encountering any kind of river, having to get over or around all sorts of walls, facing rain or shine, or any other obstacles.
Knowledge and practice together with talent make the difference between being average and being excellent.
I had a gymnast who was initially determined to achieve success. He was always one of the first to be ready for practices. He did very well in competitions winning the individual championship as well as medals in every gymnastic event.
He was selected to be a member of the Kedah state team. He won some medals. For his effort, the state presented him with ‘The most promising gymnast’ of the state medal in recognition of his efforts.
Unfortunately, this recognition was the beginning of his downfall. His friends could have praised him too much. It went to his head. He could have thought he was already sufficiently good to ignore rules, regulations and discipline.
He had a group of friends who made him a hero, a demigod, and he was soon no longer able to see his path to success clearly. Nay, he had lost sight of it.
His group was made up of heavy smokers. He joined them although this coach had told all gymnasts in the team that stamina was important and keeping their airways free of smoke, besides the practice, was of utmost importance where stamina is concerned. Nevertheless,he became addicted to cigarettes.
Although, he did return for training, he did very little; putting in the least effort. Maybe, he thought he was too good for this coach. Then after a certain period of time, he was weaker and unable to complete a routine in floor exercises with sufficient stamina to end it well. He was weak and was not stable; he stumbled as he landed on his feet at the end of each routine.
Eventually, this coach had to give him a warning on his addiction to cigarettes. Then, at the state meet, he failed to get a place in the state team. Other gymnasts have improved while he had deteriorated. He had forgotten what i had taught him; that talent alone does not take a person to the very top. What is required to achieve the best results is lots of training using the right methods. This weakness happened to a gymnast who had shown promise in achieving better results just a year ago!
In every endeavour, no matter what field we are in, discipline and knowledge are important. Knowledge tells us how to achieve a certain level, a particular result. Discipline gets us back on track when distractions appear. Discipline ensures we continue with our goal despite having obstacles appear in our path. Success cannot evade a talented one who carries on despite encountering any kind of river, having to get over or around all sorts of walls, facing rain or shine, or any other obstacles.
Knowledge and practice together with talent make the difference between being average and being excellent.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Words are all they need.
Once upon a time, there was a woman who married a widower. As the widower had three daughters by the first wife, the new mother was wary of the saying that step-mothers are cruel to the children who are not hers.
She very much wanted to be the exceptional step-mother who would be good to every one of the husband’s children. Initially, it was easy as she had no children of her own.
Soon, she was pregnant and a child was born. She found it difficult to cope with having most of her time taken up by the new-born child. So the daughters of the first wife had to be sent to an aunt to assist in their up-bringing.
A few years later, another son was born. So, she had two of her own children. When they reached a certain age, the husband brought back the other three daughters. Everything was fine until two of the girls proved to be quite naughty. Like any parent, she punished them.
With cries heard by the neighbours each time the girls were punished, it was not long before someone spread the story that she was cruel to the girls because she was their step-mother.
To stop the stories from becoming a nuisance to his family, the husband decided to send his daughters to stay with their aunt once again.
The stories did not stop despite there being no punishment and crying heard any longer. It reached the young wife’s ears and she was annoyed by them as she believed she had done her best to the children.
Minds work feverishly to overcome such negative talk. Her mind could not stop thinking of the negative opinions of the neighbours. Their words remained with her constantly.Those words returned each time she saw a neighbour looking at her.The pressure was too great to bear.
Eventually, to prove she was perfectly just in her actions, she punished her boys even harder than she had ever punished the daughters of the first wife.
Her boys had to suffer the terrible caning whenever they were slightly mischievous. Whenever she caned her boys, she would loudly proclaim that she punished her own children just as hard as she had the girls. She wanted everyone to see that she was not the cruel stepmother they claimed she was. In doing so, she was so cruel and harsh to her own two children.
Her own two children suffered for her desire to justify her punishment of the daughters. They suffered in her effort to shed the image of the cruel step-mother.
Obviously, the words of the neighbours had caused her grievous harm. The hurt was too great on the impressionable mind of the young wife. Imagine the damage such words had wrought.
Therefore, we ought to be careful with our words. Words can make or break a person.
We should also find a means to protect ourselves from words. We must not be easily influenced by the opinions of others. In The Art Of Living, we learn and appreciate the fact that we could be the football of other people’s opinions. Of the five basic essential understanding we are first introduced to is: ‘Do not be the football of other people’s opinions.’ This understanding is essential to happiness in our lives.
She very much wanted to be the exceptional step-mother who would be good to every one of the husband’s children. Initially, it was easy as she had no children of her own.
Soon, she was pregnant and a child was born. She found it difficult to cope with having most of her time taken up by the new-born child. So the daughters of the first wife had to be sent to an aunt to assist in their up-bringing.
A few years later, another son was born. So, she had two of her own children. When they reached a certain age, the husband brought back the other three daughters. Everything was fine until two of the girls proved to be quite naughty. Like any parent, she punished them.
With cries heard by the neighbours each time the girls were punished, it was not long before someone spread the story that she was cruel to the girls because she was their step-mother.
To stop the stories from becoming a nuisance to his family, the husband decided to send his daughters to stay with their aunt once again.
The stories did not stop despite there being no punishment and crying heard any longer. It reached the young wife’s ears and she was annoyed by them as she believed she had done her best to the children.
Minds work feverishly to overcome such negative talk. Her mind could not stop thinking of the negative opinions of the neighbours. Their words remained with her constantly.Those words returned each time she saw a neighbour looking at her.The pressure was too great to bear.
Eventually, to prove she was perfectly just in her actions, she punished her boys even harder than she had ever punished the daughters of the first wife.
Her boys had to suffer the terrible caning whenever they were slightly mischievous. Whenever she caned her boys, she would loudly proclaim that she punished her own children just as hard as she had the girls. She wanted everyone to see that she was not the cruel stepmother they claimed she was. In doing so, she was so cruel and harsh to her own two children.
Her own two children suffered for her desire to justify her punishment of the daughters. They suffered in her effort to shed the image of the cruel step-mother.
Obviously, the words of the neighbours had caused her grievous harm. The hurt was too great on the impressionable mind of the young wife. Imagine the damage such words had wrought.
Therefore, we ought to be careful with our words. Words can make or break a person.
We should also find a means to protect ourselves from words. We must not be easily influenced by the opinions of others. In The Art Of Living, we learn and appreciate the fact that we could be the football of other people’s opinions. Of the five basic essential understanding we are first introduced to is: ‘Do not be the football of other people’s opinions.’ This understanding is essential to happiness in our lives.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Never underestimate peer group influence.
Our children learn from us, the parents, the mother tongue and any other knowledge you are able to impart to them. Most probably, they learn other languages from you too. Then, the teachers play their part, teaching the school curriculum. Next to teach your children, are their peers.
From the time our child mixes with other children, we ought to watch out what our child learns from his/her peers. When my elder son went to attend kindergarten he came back with vocabulary which we never use in our home. It was a vulgar word learned from another child who must have said it often enough to have my son know its pronunciation well. However, he had yet to know its meaning. Ever vigilant for such things, I immediately told him that it was not a good word; a word not necessary to acquire. We do not use such a word in our house, I told him. To this day none of my sons use such vulgar language, and they are now young adults. Of course, from my observation, they now understand the word but they do not use such words because such words are never heard in our home.
Besides the type of language, we have to watch out for other ideas, attitudes and actions. This is because our child needs to belong; to belong to a group, to choose a group of friends to associate with, to interact with. Our child have to learn to fit in with the group, its ideas, its attitudes and its actions. The most aggressive, not necessary the cleverest but possibly the strongest or toughest, would be the group’s leader. What would become of the group depends upon this leader and his/her background.
If the leader happens to be the well-behaved, energetic person who has lots of initiative and a willingness to learn; then the group will be benefiting from his/her good influence. If the leader is the destructive, uncooperative type who is unwilling to participate and has been exposed to all kind of vulgar language and actions, then the parents have to watch out for the negative changes in their children and take immediate action to guide the children back to the right track. As a teacher I have seen how peer groups in school can help each other reach greater heights or destroy all that parents have done for their children.
As such, there is no alternative but to beware and be forever vigilant, ready to take immediate remedial action with great parental love when necessary.Immediate action is of utmost importance as once certain undesirable habits are entrenched would be difficult to extricate. However, all remedial actions must be made cautiously, carefully and with love.
From the time our child mixes with other children, we ought to watch out what our child learns from his/her peers. When my elder son went to attend kindergarten he came back with vocabulary which we never use in our home. It was a vulgar word learned from another child who must have said it often enough to have my son know its pronunciation well. However, he had yet to know its meaning. Ever vigilant for such things, I immediately told him that it was not a good word; a word not necessary to acquire. We do not use such a word in our house, I told him. To this day none of my sons use such vulgar language, and they are now young adults. Of course, from my observation, they now understand the word but they do not use such words because such words are never heard in our home.
Besides the type of language, we have to watch out for other ideas, attitudes and actions. This is because our child needs to belong; to belong to a group, to choose a group of friends to associate with, to interact with. Our child have to learn to fit in with the group, its ideas, its attitudes and its actions. The most aggressive, not necessary the cleverest but possibly the strongest or toughest, would be the group’s leader. What would become of the group depends upon this leader and his/her background.
If the leader happens to be the well-behaved, energetic person who has lots of initiative and a willingness to learn; then the group will be benefiting from his/her good influence. If the leader is the destructive, uncooperative type who is unwilling to participate and has been exposed to all kind of vulgar language and actions, then the parents have to watch out for the negative changes in their children and take immediate action to guide the children back to the right track. As a teacher I have seen how peer groups in school can help each other reach greater heights or destroy all that parents have done for their children.
As such, there is no alternative but to beware and be forever vigilant, ready to take immediate remedial action with great parental love when necessary.Immediate action is of utmost importance as once certain undesirable habits are entrenched would be difficult to extricate. However, all remedial actions must be made cautiously, carefully and with love.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Miracles do happen.
It was just two weeks after the 13th of May, 1969, the date most middle-aged and older adults remember as the day racial riots caused the death of so many innocent Malaysians. The politicians who orchestrated the arousal of racial hatred might have escaped the wrath of relatives of those who were massacred but certainly they always will be answerable to God.
I wish to take you back to the Friday morning which was approximately two weeks after the riots started. From Alor Star, my three bachelor friends and I hoped to reach our home-town, Penang Island, safe and sound. So, we rode our motorbikes towards Penang Island in single file, so that should anything happen, one of us could escape and inform the parents.
It was eleven-thirty in the morning. I was leading the group on the main road when we neared a small town, Simpang Empat. We were going quite fast. As I approached one of the junctions, a Malay man on a Honda Cub came out onto the main road. He obviously wanted to cross over to the other side of the main road. When I realized he had not stopped to let me pass, it was already too late. At that speed, if I had braked, my bike would have skidded. He came straight into my path. I had no alternative but to brake a little and crash straight into his bike. The impact of the crash threw me up and forward into the air. Automatically both my hands reached forward. As my hands touched the road surface, I relaxed them and cushioned my fall towards the hard surface of the road with my palms. My body rolled forward as it landed. The momentum sent me rolling a good number of times as my hands attempt in vain to stop the movement. As I rolled forward and up onto my feet, I was amazed to discover no injury to any part of my body. I looked to the row of shops beside the road. The onlookers did not move towards me. They were all Malays. They must have been just as astonished as I was at my front somersault ending with a few forward rolls.
Shaken but still able to move quickly, I ran back to the man on the road. I helped him up and pushed his motorcycle to the side of the road. Except for some damage to the mud-guard of his front wheel, everything seemed fine. With just some bruises on his arm, the man looked alright. I inquired if there was any other place he was hurt. His reply was in the negative. Then, I looked at my own bike. Thank god! My bike did not seem to have any damage either. Knowing that it was a dangerous situation, I quickly went astride my bike, started it with a crank and moved on to join my other friends who had stopped a safe distance away ahead of me.
My own daily gymnastic practice with my school gymnasts had saved me from injury.
From the experience I understood very well the importance of gymnastics. It not only gave me health and strength; it saved me from an early death; not once but three times.
Well, I’ll tell you more about the other two times and my recklessness in future postings.
I wish to take you back to the Friday morning which was approximately two weeks after the riots started. From Alor Star, my three bachelor friends and I hoped to reach our home-town, Penang Island, safe and sound. So, we rode our motorbikes towards Penang Island in single file, so that should anything happen, one of us could escape and inform the parents.
It was eleven-thirty in the morning. I was leading the group on the main road when we neared a small town, Simpang Empat. We were going quite fast. As I approached one of the junctions, a Malay man on a Honda Cub came out onto the main road. He obviously wanted to cross over to the other side of the main road. When I realized he had not stopped to let me pass, it was already too late. At that speed, if I had braked, my bike would have skidded. He came straight into my path. I had no alternative but to brake a little and crash straight into his bike. The impact of the crash threw me up and forward into the air. Automatically both my hands reached forward. As my hands touched the road surface, I relaxed them and cushioned my fall towards the hard surface of the road with my palms. My body rolled forward as it landed. The momentum sent me rolling a good number of times as my hands attempt in vain to stop the movement. As I rolled forward and up onto my feet, I was amazed to discover no injury to any part of my body. I looked to the row of shops beside the road. The onlookers did not move towards me. They were all Malays. They must have been just as astonished as I was at my front somersault ending with a few forward rolls.
Shaken but still able to move quickly, I ran back to the man on the road. I helped him up and pushed his motorcycle to the side of the road. Except for some damage to the mud-guard of his front wheel, everything seemed fine. With just some bruises on his arm, the man looked alright. I inquired if there was any other place he was hurt. His reply was in the negative. Then, I looked at my own bike. Thank god! My bike did not seem to have any damage either. Knowing that it was a dangerous situation, I quickly went astride my bike, started it with a crank and moved on to join my other friends who had stopped a safe distance away ahead of me.
My own daily gymnastic practice with my school gymnasts had saved me from injury.
From the experience I understood very well the importance of gymnastics. It not only gave me health and strength; it saved me from an early death; not once but three times.
Well, I’ll tell you more about the other two times and my recklessness in future postings.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
It's only words.
How do we evaluate words?
Words may not contain truth. In most circumstances, action conveys the truth. Do you agree?
Imagine the number of lies people can tell to avoid an embarrassing situation. To prevent others from knowing the whole truth, we usually keep quiet. However, sometimes, questions are asked and to avoid telling everything which could be embarrassing, we tell white lies to prevent a truth from being known, a truth which could be very private information.
For example, we may be worried for somebody who may have been away from class for too long. To go all over the school asking and searching for the person concerned may reveal the fact that we like that certain person more than we wish to admit. To cover up when asked the reason for the search, we may have to give some excuse such as wishing to find some kind of information regarding work from the person. That, of course, is a lie. But it does not hurt anyone and the intention was not bad; it was merely to not disseminate certain private information.
Whatever it may be, it simply tells us people do lie quite easily to hide certain truth. It could be a business lie. Take a simple every day morning market experience, for example. We approach a fishmonger. The fish does not appear as fresh as we would like it to be. What we normally do is to ask the seller. There are two possible replies. One could be: It’s not very fresh. Another could be: It’s fresh, caught just an hour ago. If you are the fishmonger, which would your answer be? To say that it is not very fresh may drive a customer away. To say that it is fresh would result most probably in a sale. So, what is your reply if you were the fishmonger?
Another instance where it is possible that a lie is fabricated is when people give excuses for forgetting to bring things. To avoid embarrassment, they would give a probable reason for not bringing the things.
Of course, for a person to lie to achieve an advantage or to escape a punishment is not a good practice. As a human, a person who gets away with such a lie would learn that he/she could avoid responsibility with such lies. Soon, such a person would shirk responsibility as experience has taught him that there is a way out for him/her.
This could lead to abuse and the abuse becomes a common practice. When this happens, the person’s conscience will be dulled. The lies increase as he/she becomes adept at telling lies. However, like someone said, “You can bluff some of the people some of the time but you cannot bluff all the people all the time.” Soon, people around this person will recognize him/her as an incorrigible liar.
Once branded an incorrigible liar, nothing the person says would be believed. Remember the story of the boy who cried, ‘Wolf!’, and the consequences of his actions?
If no one believes our words, whatever we say would not contain any value. Nobody would bother to listen any more. Where would our self-esteem be? Without our credibility, what would become of us?
Words may not contain truth. In most circumstances, action conveys the truth. Do you agree?
Imagine the number of lies people can tell to avoid an embarrassing situation. To prevent others from knowing the whole truth, we usually keep quiet. However, sometimes, questions are asked and to avoid telling everything which could be embarrassing, we tell white lies to prevent a truth from being known, a truth which could be very private information.
For example, we may be worried for somebody who may have been away from class for too long. To go all over the school asking and searching for the person concerned may reveal the fact that we like that certain person more than we wish to admit. To cover up when asked the reason for the search, we may have to give some excuse such as wishing to find some kind of information regarding work from the person. That, of course, is a lie. But it does not hurt anyone and the intention was not bad; it was merely to not disseminate certain private information.
Whatever it may be, it simply tells us people do lie quite easily to hide certain truth. It could be a business lie. Take a simple every day morning market experience, for example. We approach a fishmonger. The fish does not appear as fresh as we would like it to be. What we normally do is to ask the seller. There are two possible replies. One could be: It’s not very fresh. Another could be: It’s fresh, caught just an hour ago. If you are the fishmonger, which would your answer be? To say that it is not very fresh may drive a customer away. To say that it is fresh would result most probably in a sale. So, what is your reply if you were the fishmonger?
Another instance where it is possible that a lie is fabricated is when people give excuses for forgetting to bring things. To avoid embarrassment, they would give a probable reason for not bringing the things.
Of course, for a person to lie to achieve an advantage or to escape a punishment is not a good practice. As a human, a person who gets away with such a lie would learn that he/she could avoid responsibility with such lies. Soon, such a person would shirk responsibility as experience has taught him that there is a way out for him/her.
This could lead to abuse and the abuse becomes a common practice. When this happens, the person’s conscience will be dulled. The lies increase as he/she becomes adept at telling lies. However, like someone said, “You can bluff some of the people some of the time but you cannot bluff all the people all the time.” Soon, people around this person will recognize him/her as an incorrigible liar.
Once branded an incorrigible liar, nothing the person says would be believed. Remember the story of the boy who cried, ‘Wolf!’, and the consequences of his actions?
If no one believes our words, whatever we say would not contain any value. Nobody would bother to listen any more. Where would our self-esteem be? Without our credibility, what would become of us?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Punish, then regret.
The other day, The Art of Living members talked of anger and the sufferings of those who are easily angered.
Parents so often become stressed with their work and their children. When there is no respite from the many problems that crop up in the home, stress can flare up into anger.
If the child happens to be naughty, the stressed parent may just hit out at the child. The canning may be too hard and painful. There may be ugly welts on the body. The pain the child have to suffer may be unbearable.
Parents should never punish without an aim. The purpose of punishing a child must be to teach; to tell the child her behavior is wrong and there is a need to change. Unless there is a good valid reason for punishment, it must never be carried out.
When we hit out at a child in our rage, can such an act be considered a punishment?
If the act is merely to release some tension or find an outlet for anger, then we ought to go to the gym where we could let off the energy in such negative emotions in a more positive manner. We could perhaps take our anger out on a punching bag.
Our child is certainly no punching bag! When our child does wrong, our love and concern for his/her welfare makes us realise that he/she has to be taught. There are many ways to teach. A facial expression of disgust at the deed, words conveying dislike for a behavior, a light slap on the palm or thigh, a tap of the cane or a harder whack with the cane. Yes, I believe canning can be a form of punishment.
However, canning should be used to teach; just painful enough to deter a really naughty child from some form of truly bad behavour; to deter the child from forming bad habits, to teach the child such behavior cannot be acceptable. Whatever it is, choose the punishment to suit the wrong behavior so that it is effective. An ineffective punishment serves no purpose and may even be wrongly thought of as an encouragement. Certainly, we do not wish that to happen.
Canning or any other form of punishment should never be used at times of great anger. At such times, the parent loses control as he/she lashes out at the child to release his/her pent-up emotions. In doing so, the parent forgets the aim of the punishment. Later, when the parent realizes his/her wrong, it is a little too late to right that wrong. There’s no point in regretting.
Regretting parents often show their repentance by swabbing the ugly welts with some pain-killing ointment.
Parents feel the pain when they notice the angry red welts on their child’s skin. Who has inflicted the pain? The anger in us has caused us this pain, a pain which can be avoided for our own good as well as for our child.
So, the next time we are angry, care enough to count to ten and think of the purpose of whatever action we wish to take before proceeding with it.
Parents so often become stressed with their work and their children. When there is no respite from the many problems that crop up in the home, stress can flare up into anger.
If the child happens to be naughty, the stressed parent may just hit out at the child. The canning may be too hard and painful. There may be ugly welts on the body. The pain the child have to suffer may be unbearable.
Parents should never punish without an aim. The purpose of punishing a child must be to teach; to tell the child her behavior is wrong and there is a need to change. Unless there is a good valid reason for punishment, it must never be carried out.
When we hit out at a child in our rage, can such an act be considered a punishment?
If the act is merely to release some tension or find an outlet for anger, then we ought to go to the gym where we could let off the energy in such negative emotions in a more positive manner. We could perhaps take our anger out on a punching bag.
Our child is certainly no punching bag! When our child does wrong, our love and concern for his/her welfare makes us realise that he/she has to be taught. There are many ways to teach. A facial expression of disgust at the deed, words conveying dislike for a behavior, a light slap on the palm or thigh, a tap of the cane or a harder whack with the cane. Yes, I believe canning can be a form of punishment.
However, canning should be used to teach; just painful enough to deter a really naughty child from some form of truly bad behavour; to deter the child from forming bad habits, to teach the child such behavior cannot be acceptable. Whatever it is, choose the punishment to suit the wrong behavior so that it is effective. An ineffective punishment serves no purpose and may even be wrongly thought of as an encouragement. Certainly, we do not wish that to happen.
Canning or any other form of punishment should never be used at times of great anger. At such times, the parent loses control as he/she lashes out at the child to release his/her pent-up emotions. In doing so, the parent forgets the aim of the punishment. Later, when the parent realizes his/her wrong, it is a little too late to right that wrong. There’s no point in regretting.
Regretting parents often show their repentance by swabbing the ugly welts with some pain-killing ointment.
Parents feel the pain when they notice the angry red welts on their child’s skin. Who has inflicted the pain? The anger in us has caused us this pain, a pain which can be avoided for our own good as well as for our child.
So, the next time we are angry, care enough to count to ten and think of the purpose of whatever action we wish to take before proceeding with it.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Everything lies in our hands.
“Here’s a story. One day a monk caught a butterfly in both his hands. He saw a priest and asked him, ‘Is the butterfly dead or alive?’
The priest said. ’I’ll not answer that question. You will always be right. If I tell you the butterfly is alive, you can apply pressure with your hands and when you open your hands again, it will be dead. If I say the butterfly is dead, you’ll open your hands and let the butterfly fly out of your hands. The fate of the butterfly lies in your hands.’
Yes, everything lies in your hands,” concluded The Art Of Living teacher, Laoshe Hwa Seng.
Is not that true of everything in our lives? We are the ones who make the decision; to do or not to do something, to allow ourselves to sink into pathetic self-pity in a loss or throw ourselves into some energetic activity to overcome it, or decide to quit or rise up again after a failure.
To be right in our actions, we depend upon the experience and knowledge we have on the subject matter. Once a decision is made, we have to take positive action. Act on what we believe is right and therefore the best for us.
Then no matter what happens, there should be no regrets. Regrets gets us nowhere. If an obstacle or problem should appear, think again of the best possible solution and move on again. That is how life should be lived. And just as Edison found the light eventually, so can we.
Nobody else can make the decision for us. All depends upon us. We are the pilot of our own destiny. So, let's move.
Teach our children the importance of experience and knowledge too. Their future depends upon them as they too hold their own destiny in their own hands.
The priest said. ’I’ll not answer that question. You will always be right. If I tell you the butterfly is alive, you can apply pressure with your hands and when you open your hands again, it will be dead. If I say the butterfly is dead, you’ll open your hands and let the butterfly fly out of your hands. The fate of the butterfly lies in your hands.’
Yes, everything lies in your hands,” concluded The Art Of Living teacher, Laoshe Hwa Seng.
Is not that true of everything in our lives? We are the ones who make the decision; to do or not to do something, to allow ourselves to sink into pathetic self-pity in a loss or throw ourselves into some energetic activity to overcome it, or decide to quit or rise up again after a failure.
To be right in our actions, we depend upon the experience and knowledge we have on the subject matter. Once a decision is made, we have to take positive action. Act on what we believe is right and therefore the best for us.
Then no matter what happens, there should be no regrets. Regrets gets us nowhere. If an obstacle or problem should appear, think again of the best possible solution and move on again. That is how life should be lived. And just as Edison found the light eventually, so can we.
Nobody else can make the decision for us. All depends upon us. We are the pilot of our own destiny. So, let's move.
Teach our children the importance of experience and knowledge too. Their future depends upon them as they too hold their own destiny in their own hands.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
What anger brings.
Once upon a time, there was a young man who became angry with his parents. He had returned late that night, just as he had done on most nights and his parents were angry with him.
He was tired and was so annoyed at being scolded for what was his usual practice. After all, this was not the first time that he returned at midnight. He could not tolerate the harangue by his parents. In a huff, he told them he did not need to stay to listen to their lecture. They were lots of places he could go to.
And in his anger, he did not think of the consequences of his anger. He put his shirt on again and walked out through the door. Soon, he was astride his 100c.c. Yamaha motorcycle roaring down the empty street, the cool wind wiping away the heat of anger from his head.
The hour was late. It was already well past midnight. Where could he go? His friends? Well, all of them must be already snoring in bed. Then, he realized all the doors are closed to him. Where can he go?
Looking at the places his bike took him, he found the only places with some kind of activity were third class hotels with ladies of the night loitering at their door-ways. There was that little temptation to while away some time there. But then, he knew the dangers that await at such places; sickness that could change his whole life forever. He shook off the idea.
But there was no place to stop at. Nowhere could he rest; no place could he have some wholesome fun, happiness or rest. None!
Next, he headed for the esplanade, a lovely place to rest and to watch the waves break onto the rocks below. The breeze would cool his body and relax it. His soul could then be at peace.
A half hour passed. Time just dragged by. There was no one to talk to. It was real lonely. Not even a dog or a cat could be seen. All alone. Alone! It was one of the most lonely moments in his life.
In such a moment, even beautiful natural surroundings are boring as the mind still dwell on the injustice of being deprived of rest in his own bed. Bored with watching the sea and the vast stretch of grass, he moved on. There were other vehicles on the road but none stopped for anything. Every vehicle was moving, each with a destination. For him there was none; no place he could think of to spend the rest of that long night.
The minutes seemed to crawl. Again and again, he looked at his watch to find that time had hardly moved. It was the longest night he had ever known. He loitered here, there and everywhere. The world was so big, yet there was no place he could rest.
At six o’clock, he heard the rumble of carts as hawkers and traders pushed their wares to their places of business. He waited as those hawkers began their day. The ones who sold food started with a fire in their stove and the boiling of soup or some other necessary sauce in their preparation for the new day’s sale. For want of something to do, he watched and waited. For one such hawker, he was her first customer for the day. He took his early breakfast slowly, killing time.
It was a precious lesson for him. It was a suffering he never wanted to have to go through again. Through that experience, he learnt to control his temper. That long night was not worth the temper he had so recklessly shown.
I know how terrible it is; the consequences of anger; for I was that young man in this true story.
He was tired and was so annoyed at being scolded for what was his usual practice. After all, this was not the first time that he returned at midnight. He could not tolerate the harangue by his parents. In a huff, he told them he did not need to stay to listen to their lecture. They were lots of places he could go to.
And in his anger, he did not think of the consequences of his anger. He put his shirt on again and walked out through the door. Soon, he was astride his 100c.c. Yamaha motorcycle roaring down the empty street, the cool wind wiping away the heat of anger from his head.
The hour was late. It was already well past midnight. Where could he go? His friends? Well, all of them must be already snoring in bed. Then, he realized all the doors are closed to him. Where can he go?
Looking at the places his bike took him, he found the only places with some kind of activity were third class hotels with ladies of the night loitering at their door-ways. There was that little temptation to while away some time there. But then, he knew the dangers that await at such places; sickness that could change his whole life forever. He shook off the idea.
But there was no place to stop at. Nowhere could he rest; no place could he have some wholesome fun, happiness or rest. None!
Next, he headed for the esplanade, a lovely place to rest and to watch the waves break onto the rocks below. The breeze would cool his body and relax it. His soul could then be at peace.
A half hour passed. Time just dragged by. There was no one to talk to. It was real lonely. Not even a dog or a cat could be seen. All alone. Alone! It was one of the most lonely moments in his life.
In such a moment, even beautiful natural surroundings are boring as the mind still dwell on the injustice of being deprived of rest in his own bed. Bored with watching the sea and the vast stretch of grass, he moved on. There were other vehicles on the road but none stopped for anything. Every vehicle was moving, each with a destination. For him there was none; no place he could think of to spend the rest of that long night.
The minutes seemed to crawl. Again and again, he looked at his watch to find that time had hardly moved. It was the longest night he had ever known. He loitered here, there and everywhere. The world was so big, yet there was no place he could rest.
At six o’clock, he heard the rumble of carts as hawkers and traders pushed their wares to their places of business. He waited as those hawkers began their day. The ones who sold food started with a fire in their stove and the boiling of soup or some other necessary sauce in their preparation for the new day’s sale. For want of something to do, he watched and waited. For one such hawker, he was her first customer for the day. He took his early breakfast slowly, killing time.
It was a precious lesson for him. It was a suffering he never wanted to have to go through again. Through that experience, he learnt to control his temper. That long night was not worth the temper he had so recklessly shown.
I know how terrible it is; the consequences of anger; for I was that young man in this true story.
Friday, May 15, 2009
He dared not take on success!
There was once a poor old-fashioned Chinese family who staunchly believed that the male children in their family were the most important. That was especially true of the eldest son.
You see, according to olden-day Chinese belief, the eldest son, not the eldest daughter, is the one who buy flowers and water for the dead parents at their funeral. Not only that, the sons will be the ones to continue with the family’s surname. Well, that is true as the women and their children are expected to take on the surname of the husbands.
So, it is not surprising to find that boys are more equal than the girls in a family if the parents consider such old fashioned beliefs important.
There was this family where the daughter was cleverer than the eldest son. Still, intelligence does not bring special privileges. The girl had to work hard in the kitchen as well as other chores at home while the son had a fairly easy life, attending merely school with no necessity to do anything else.
The girl grew up strong and clever as she had to think of managing her time to complete her school assignments as well as help manage the home with cooking, washing and cleaning. The boy played more and soon slacked in his studies. He found it difficult to continue his studies and his loving parents allowed him to drop-out of school after only six years of education.
The day came when the girl entered a teacher training college and soon became a qualified teacher.
Attractive in many ways, she soon found someone to marry.
After her marriage, the girl wished to help her brother to have a better future. The girl found someone to teach her brother how to make noodles and the sauce to go with it. Do you think his brother jumped at the opportunity?
No, he didn’t. He was by then so used to the easy life of doing whatever odd job there was available. He was not too anxious to make his own life more stressful. Furthermore, he had been promised the job of school gardener by a headmaster.
Reluctantly, he agreed to learn noodle-making. Months later, he returned to inform the sister he had learned all there was to learn. The sister offered to get a stall and all other necessary utensils to start a noodle business. You would expect that brother to be enthusiastic with the idea. But, that was not the case.
Instead of delightfulness at the opportunity, the brother raised many questions. You would have thought that since everything was to be provided for by the sister, there would have been no problem starting the stall.
Alas, the brother wanted to know who was to help him. He wanted to know who was to prepare the stall for him each day. The most ridiculous question was 'how was he to manage if business was good!' I know many people would never believe this part of the story. I do not blame them. I would too if I had not known the details personally.
Here is a guy given everything to start his own small business without any worry of loss. If there be loss, more money could be put into it. Yet, he feared this; he fear that! He just dared not even take on success! What a joke!
How come a man can be thus? Knowing him and his background, I can only conclude that he was over protected by his loving parents. He never had to make his own decisions. Although he was poor, he had never known true hardship. He had never needed to survive. Despite being poor, he had a sheltered life. He never had the opportunities to face challenges. Everything had been done for him. Even a wife was found for him.
Would anyone want a son to be like this man?
You see, according to olden-day Chinese belief, the eldest son, not the eldest daughter, is the one who buy flowers and water for the dead parents at their funeral. Not only that, the sons will be the ones to continue with the family’s surname. Well, that is true as the women and their children are expected to take on the surname of the husbands.
So, it is not surprising to find that boys are more equal than the girls in a family if the parents consider such old fashioned beliefs important.
There was this family where the daughter was cleverer than the eldest son. Still, intelligence does not bring special privileges. The girl had to work hard in the kitchen as well as other chores at home while the son had a fairly easy life, attending merely school with no necessity to do anything else.
The girl grew up strong and clever as she had to think of managing her time to complete her school assignments as well as help manage the home with cooking, washing and cleaning. The boy played more and soon slacked in his studies. He found it difficult to continue his studies and his loving parents allowed him to drop-out of school after only six years of education.
The day came when the girl entered a teacher training college and soon became a qualified teacher.
Attractive in many ways, she soon found someone to marry.
After her marriage, the girl wished to help her brother to have a better future. The girl found someone to teach her brother how to make noodles and the sauce to go with it. Do you think his brother jumped at the opportunity?
No, he didn’t. He was by then so used to the easy life of doing whatever odd job there was available. He was not too anxious to make his own life more stressful. Furthermore, he had been promised the job of school gardener by a headmaster.
Reluctantly, he agreed to learn noodle-making. Months later, he returned to inform the sister he had learned all there was to learn. The sister offered to get a stall and all other necessary utensils to start a noodle business. You would expect that brother to be enthusiastic with the idea. But, that was not the case.
Instead of delightfulness at the opportunity, the brother raised many questions. You would have thought that since everything was to be provided for by the sister, there would have been no problem starting the stall.
Alas, the brother wanted to know who was to help him. He wanted to know who was to prepare the stall for him each day. The most ridiculous question was 'how was he to manage if business was good!' I know many people would never believe this part of the story. I do not blame them. I would too if I had not known the details personally.
Here is a guy given everything to start his own small business without any worry of loss. If there be loss, more money could be put into it. Yet, he feared this; he fear that! He just dared not even take on success! What a joke!
How come a man can be thus? Knowing him and his background, I can only conclude that he was over protected by his loving parents. He never had to make his own decisions. Although he was poor, he had never known true hardship. He had never needed to survive. Despite being poor, he had a sheltered life. He never had the opportunities to face challenges. Everything had been done for him. Even a wife was found for him.
Would anyone want a son to be like this man?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Have you really found love?
There was this lady who was really sad at the way her husband had neglected her at a time when she needed understanding and care. She had a serious sickness and was suffering from pain each day. Yet, the man in her life did not bother to give the necessary support.
Then, one day, out of the blue came the man she once threw aside to marry this husband. The man and his wife found her in the above mentioned situation and was good enough to volunteer help.
That was when she told me about the man, the ex-boyfriend who loved her so much. Unfortunately, the man had a perilous job (laying tiles on roof-tops) and a low pay. So, she allowed her parents to talk her out of marrying the man she loved. She ended the story with "That is how I ended up with this lousy husband."
Do you listen to the opinion of others when it comes to love? Do you let your parents decide whom you wish to find your life partner? This is one of the most important person in your life. If he is still around, he will most probably be the person to comfort you during the last few weeks of your life!
How many types of love have we experienced in our life-time? Let us think of the varieties of love known to us. Are some of them really love? Could it be merely lust? Were you just seduced into a marriage? Does your partner love? Does your partner care?
There is the seductive type in which you want to go close to someone because of the seductive aspect of the person. Let me tell you of such an experience. In my twenties, I was active in Holiday Magic Cosmetics, a multi-tiered cosmetics marketing system. Its Penang office was situated in one of the big buildings housing a number of offices. While waiting for one of my down-line to appear, I saw a beautiful, sexy woman in another office. Wishing to introduce Holiday Magic Cosmetics to her, I knocked and requested to have some time to tell her how Holiday Magic cosmetics could not only improve her looks but also care for her skin as well, as it was the only cosmetics then that did not use alcohol; alcohol which could burn into her pores and cause the rough pits encountered on faces of people who had used other types of cosmetics for many years.
The sultry voice that greeted me drew my attention to a well-complexioned face framed by lovely, long, black curls. As I returned her greeting and moved towards her, I was completely mesmerized by her beauty; her captivating smile, her graceful gestures, her beautiful brown eyes, her voluptuous body and the titillating cut of her lovely slinky blue dress at her breast. My eyes were absolutely riveted to that part of her dress, revealing just sufficiently to excite, and the sensation of pleasure, a growing sexual desire; something akin to love for that woman in front of me. Those feelings aroused in me made me almost forget my purpose of entering her office. It was an experience I am unable to forget to this day although the feeling went off after I met my down line. Yet, each time I met her again, she was so desirable.
Once upon a time, I felt very lonely. It was a time when all of a sudden, I find our close friends all settled down to a married life except for myself. Girlfriends there were but they were not the ones I was attracted to. Just having fun, enjoying an evening with good food and cool places with beautiful voices to lull me into a somewhat romantic mood was always possible. Nevertheless, at the end of the day when I had taken my partner for the night home, there was this loneliness which descends upon me. Love is not so easy to find after all.
Sometimes, we love someone but it is merely a one-way street. That someone does not find it in her heart to accept us. Then, sadly we have to let the person go. Well, life is just like that. Perhaps, God has some kind of purpose in that. Who knows?
Then, someone does love us but we cannot get ourselves to love that someone. Looking back, we find that person not exactly unattractive, not actually unworthy of attention; yet somehow the feeling for that person is just not there. Not compatible? Maybe. Maybe not. What's it? It's a mystery. That's life! So, let it be!
Some people look at love as a means to ensure themselve of a good future. This, perhaps, is something 'inherited' from old values in which match-making was once practiced. Of course, in match-making where romance or love do not play a part, we had to think of our partner as a means to a better home, a better financial position or a better future. In places where man had to fight the environment and the wilds or savage tribal opponents, the considerations would be wealth, health and strength.
Tradition still continues for some and wealth (motorbike or car, small hut or bungalow, doctor or labourer) and looks are important. Just as the lady in the first story in this posting which tells of someone who willingly forgo true love for someone with a more stable income.
I know a lady, a very beautiful and intelligent one with a good job, who chose to marry a rich man immediately even though she was not interested in him as a lover. This lady jumped at the chance of certain wealthy future because she had known a terrible life of poverty. sometimes, circumstances force people to make hasty decisions; decisions they regret as the need for love is not satisfied.
So, how do you approach love? Parents ought to be models in this. They ought to show their children the meaning of love; the happiness that love can bring.
Parents are people who first gave us the love and security that we needed in this world. One of the first people to put their protective arms around us, they care so much for our future that they would do anything to help us on the way to independence and success. They are the people who taught us about love; love which may not necessary be ideal but with the knowledge of their kind of love, we decide on the kind that we would like to foster so that our own love can be even better.
Then comes someone special who cherishes and share our dreams; loves us despite our weaknesses and looks out for us when the darkest clouds threaten to envelope us. With this someone, if there is true love, the strength of this love will see us through everything till death do us part.
Who will keep vigil by our bedside through any sickness? Who will stand by us in our darkest hour? Who will grieve even more whenever we experience a loss? Who would put himself/herself at risk to ward off any danger to us? That person is our true love! Do you share the same view? Have you found real love?
Then, one day, out of the blue came the man she once threw aside to marry this husband. The man and his wife found her in the above mentioned situation and was good enough to volunteer help.
That was when she told me about the man, the ex-boyfriend who loved her so much. Unfortunately, the man had a perilous job (laying tiles on roof-tops) and a low pay. So, she allowed her parents to talk her out of marrying the man she loved. She ended the story with "That is how I ended up with this lousy husband."
Do you listen to the opinion of others when it comes to love? Do you let your parents decide whom you wish to find your life partner? This is one of the most important person in your life. If he is still around, he will most probably be the person to comfort you during the last few weeks of your life!
How many types of love have we experienced in our life-time? Let us think of the varieties of love known to us. Are some of them really love? Could it be merely lust? Were you just seduced into a marriage? Does your partner love? Does your partner care?
There is the seductive type in which you want to go close to someone because of the seductive aspect of the person. Let me tell you of such an experience. In my twenties, I was active in Holiday Magic Cosmetics, a multi-tiered cosmetics marketing system. Its Penang office was situated in one of the big buildings housing a number of offices. While waiting for one of my down-line to appear, I saw a beautiful, sexy woman in another office. Wishing to introduce Holiday Magic Cosmetics to her, I knocked and requested to have some time to tell her how Holiday Magic cosmetics could not only improve her looks but also care for her skin as well, as it was the only cosmetics then that did not use alcohol; alcohol which could burn into her pores and cause the rough pits encountered on faces of people who had used other types of cosmetics for many years.
The sultry voice that greeted me drew my attention to a well-complexioned face framed by lovely, long, black curls. As I returned her greeting and moved towards her, I was completely mesmerized by her beauty; her captivating smile, her graceful gestures, her beautiful brown eyes, her voluptuous body and the titillating cut of her lovely slinky blue dress at her breast. My eyes were absolutely riveted to that part of her dress, revealing just sufficiently to excite, and the sensation of pleasure, a growing sexual desire; something akin to love for that woman in front of me. Those feelings aroused in me made me almost forget my purpose of entering her office. It was an experience I am unable to forget to this day although the feeling went off after I met my down line. Yet, each time I met her again, she was so desirable.
Once upon a time, I felt very lonely. It was a time when all of a sudden, I find our close friends all settled down to a married life except for myself. Girlfriends there were but they were not the ones I was attracted to. Just having fun, enjoying an evening with good food and cool places with beautiful voices to lull me into a somewhat romantic mood was always possible. Nevertheless, at the end of the day when I had taken my partner for the night home, there was this loneliness which descends upon me. Love is not so easy to find after all.
Sometimes, we love someone but it is merely a one-way street. That someone does not find it in her heart to accept us. Then, sadly we have to let the person go. Well, life is just like that. Perhaps, God has some kind of purpose in that. Who knows?
Then, someone does love us but we cannot get ourselves to love that someone. Looking back, we find that person not exactly unattractive, not actually unworthy of attention; yet somehow the feeling for that person is just not there. Not compatible? Maybe. Maybe not. What's it? It's a mystery. That's life! So, let it be!
Some people look at love as a means to ensure themselve of a good future. This, perhaps, is something 'inherited' from old values in which match-making was once practiced. Of course, in match-making where romance or love do not play a part, we had to think of our partner as a means to a better home, a better financial position or a better future. In places where man had to fight the environment and the wilds or savage tribal opponents, the considerations would be wealth, health and strength.
Tradition still continues for some and wealth (motorbike or car, small hut or bungalow, doctor or labourer) and looks are important. Just as the lady in the first story in this posting which tells of someone who willingly forgo true love for someone with a more stable income.
I know a lady, a very beautiful and intelligent one with a good job, who chose to marry a rich man immediately even though she was not interested in him as a lover. This lady jumped at the chance of certain wealthy future because she had known a terrible life of poverty. sometimes, circumstances force people to make hasty decisions; decisions they regret as the need for love is not satisfied.
So, how do you approach love? Parents ought to be models in this. They ought to show their children the meaning of love; the happiness that love can bring.
Parents are people who first gave us the love and security that we needed in this world. One of the first people to put their protective arms around us, they care so much for our future that they would do anything to help us on the way to independence and success. They are the people who taught us about love; love which may not necessary be ideal but with the knowledge of their kind of love, we decide on the kind that we would like to foster so that our own love can be even better.
Then comes someone special who cherishes and share our dreams; loves us despite our weaknesses and looks out for us when the darkest clouds threaten to envelope us. With this someone, if there is true love, the strength of this love will see us through everything till death do us part.
Who will keep vigil by our bedside through any sickness? Who will stand by us in our darkest hour? Who will grieve even more whenever we experience a loss? Who would put himself/herself at risk to ward off any danger to us? That person is our true love! Do you share the same view? Have you found real love?
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Elusive happiness.
I remembered telling a friend during my last year in school that should I get a job and have one hundred ringgit a month I would be happy.
Then, I went into teacher training and was given one hundred and fifty ringgit allowance. Although that was enough for me, my happiness with that amount did not last long. Soon, I was looking forward to the day when I would be a trained teacher and earn three hundred and ten ringgit a month. Wow! That was more than double my training allowance. Great it was to have such a big sum of money. With a few months savings I bought a second-hand motorcycle. Beautiful was each day as I took my motorcycle for a ride with the cool wind caressing my cheeks and blowing into my warm face. That was happiness then.
However, before long I realised three hundred and ten was not enough to entertain friends and have dates. And some dates are so choosy; they want to go by car! Hah! But then, not having a car did help separate those who really like you from those who just wanted a good time. Thus, knowledge of that killed the joy of having such a gal as a date. Forget it!
But then, is not a date about just having fun? At that early stage of my dating life, having a fun-loving beautiful girl on my bike was one of the joys of life. but then, there is a price to all that fun. There are expensive places to take them to; night-clubs and lounges, cinemas and outings. Joy and happiness needs money!
For the next few years, I tried everything to get more money. I became the successful agent of one of the then most popular cosmetics in the world, Holiday Magic Cosmetics. Have you heard of that? It was in the early 1970's. I had more money. I had savings. I had more than I needed. Still, true happiness seemed so elusive. With money, we can get into a state of euphoria now and then. But it was never permanent for the simple reason that joy from such materialistic things was never permanent.
I even took out almost all my savings to attend a motivational course by Lawrence Chan tofind my happiness. After the course, I was almost broke. But then, I understood better how happiness can be reached!
Then I became aware that people who have everything are not necessarily the happiest people in the world. I remember there was this young, very famous Taiwanese singer who committed suicide. Hollywood history tells us of well-known actresses who committed suicide. Well-known and rich singers took drugs. They had fame, money, fans, friends and whatever money could buy. Yet, they were not happy.
So, after the motivation course, I thought about happiness. What brings happiness?
Then, I remembered the happy moments I had with my beloved friends. We thrilled ourselves with rides on motorcycles, we arranged parties, we danced, we helped each other, we delighted in each other’s companionship, we joked and we were so happy.
One thing I noticed and that was, we were not thinking of how much money we could get out of our fun. We did not think of what we could benefit from it. We just put our everything into the joy of seeing each other, the pleasure of laughing with each other, the happiness of just being there with our friends.
That was happiness! It was so simple! No formalities, no ego, no need to put up a front! So relaxed! Do you share the same experience?
To me, my friends; people who accept me for what I am; able to share and communicate as well as enjoy moments in our lives; are important. The people we love and care for are important.
Lately, since meeting a friend who showed me the appreciation for nature, I discovered that being with and appreciating nature can bring calmness and serenity to our soul; a serenity that brings with it a quiet happiness to our inner self.
Besides this friend, The Art Of Living taught me to find this happiness from within my own self, through calmness and the serenity the happiness in one's inner core.
Have you ever felt this way? What is happiness to you?
Then, I went into teacher training and was given one hundred and fifty ringgit allowance. Although that was enough for me, my happiness with that amount did not last long. Soon, I was looking forward to the day when I would be a trained teacher and earn three hundred and ten ringgit a month. Wow! That was more than double my training allowance. Great it was to have such a big sum of money. With a few months savings I bought a second-hand motorcycle. Beautiful was each day as I took my motorcycle for a ride with the cool wind caressing my cheeks and blowing into my warm face. That was happiness then.
However, before long I realised three hundred and ten was not enough to entertain friends and have dates. And some dates are so choosy; they want to go by car! Hah! But then, not having a car did help separate those who really like you from those who just wanted a good time. Thus, knowledge of that killed the joy of having such a gal as a date. Forget it!
But then, is not a date about just having fun? At that early stage of my dating life, having a fun-loving beautiful girl on my bike was one of the joys of life. but then, there is a price to all that fun. There are expensive places to take them to; night-clubs and lounges, cinemas and outings. Joy and happiness needs money!
For the next few years, I tried everything to get more money. I became the successful agent of one of the then most popular cosmetics in the world, Holiday Magic Cosmetics. Have you heard of that? It was in the early 1970's. I had more money. I had savings. I had more than I needed. Still, true happiness seemed so elusive. With money, we can get into a state of euphoria now and then. But it was never permanent for the simple reason that joy from such materialistic things was never permanent.
I even took out almost all my savings to attend a motivational course by Lawrence Chan tofind my happiness. After the course, I was almost broke. But then, I understood better how happiness can be reached!
Then I became aware that people who have everything are not necessarily the happiest people in the world. I remember there was this young, very famous Taiwanese singer who committed suicide. Hollywood history tells us of well-known actresses who committed suicide. Well-known and rich singers took drugs. They had fame, money, fans, friends and whatever money could buy. Yet, they were not happy.
So, after the motivation course, I thought about happiness. What brings happiness?
Then, I remembered the happy moments I had with my beloved friends. We thrilled ourselves with rides on motorcycles, we arranged parties, we danced, we helped each other, we delighted in each other’s companionship, we joked and we were so happy.
One thing I noticed and that was, we were not thinking of how much money we could get out of our fun. We did not think of what we could benefit from it. We just put our everything into the joy of seeing each other, the pleasure of laughing with each other, the happiness of just being there with our friends.
That was happiness! It was so simple! No formalities, no ego, no need to put up a front! So relaxed! Do you share the same experience?
To me, my friends; people who accept me for what I am; able to share and communicate as well as enjoy moments in our lives; are important. The people we love and care for are important.
Lately, since meeting a friend who showed me the appreciation for nature, I discovered that being with and appreciating nature can bring calmness and serenity to our soul; a serenity that brings with it a quiet happiness to our inner self.
Besides this friend, The Art Of Living taught me to find this happiness from within my own self, through calmness and the serenity the happiness in one's inner core.
Have you ever felt this way? What is happiness to you?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Beautiful qualities and remarkable achievements!
A book which brought tears to my eyes and admiration from my heart stole a few hours from my sleep two nights ago. The title of the book is ‘The Greatest Sports Stories Never Told’ by Bruce Nash and Allan Zullo, compiled by Bernie Ward. It is a book loaded with fantastic stories taken from newspaper reports.
A few of the stories were really inspiring. In ‘The old man in the net’ I read about the Rangers’ only ice-hockey goalie being injured and a replacement was needed in ten minutes failing which they would have to forfeit the game. A goalie from another team was willing to be the replacement but that was opposed by the opposing team’s coach. With time rushing the team to its forfeiture, the 45 year-old Rangers’ coach had to agree to be the replacement, although he had not skated in a game for three years. Despite the taunts concerning his age from the opposing team, his unbelievably spectacular efforts inspired his team to win the game even as he fought to stave off exhaustion. This old coach was indeed awesome! In whatever field of life, you could also rise to the occasion when the need arises. This is not the first time such wonderful capabilities have surfaced in times of need.
In 1952, another hockey veteran, Bill Mosienko, beat a young goalie who had taunted him as an ‘old man’. With his experience, he could read the rookie’s moves and to prove himself right, he scored three times in 21 seconds, breaking the previous record of 1 minute and 4 seconds set in 1938. Experience has won the game. He won the respect of the rookie who grudgingly saluted the veteran.
‘Pa’s promise’ was how an 80 year-old grandpa gave every minute of his life to encourage and support his grandson’s dream of becoming a pro bowler. His support was not just moral but also financial. Wherever his grandson’s tournament took him, his grandpa was sure to follow. The grandpa even improved his knowledge of the game in order to discuss the games with his grandson, pointing out mistakes in the grandson’s moves and polishing his bowling skills. Love got this old man to sacrifice and give ten or more years of his life to his grandson. That is the beauty of love!
The dream of playing for hockey’s greatest prize, The Stanley Cup in 1905 took an amateur team from Canada’s Yukon territory to Ottawa. The Klondikers’ determination to fulfill its dream could only be possible through financial backing from a gold miner who recently struck it rich. That was not all! The team had to travel by dogsled, suffering from blisters, frostbites and exhaustion, for 350 miles to Skagway which took five days. Five days later, the team took a ship to Seattle. The journey left the players seasick and weak. Next, they rode the stagecoach 200 miles to Vancouver where they boarded a train for the 2,850 miles cross-country trip to their destination. The long, weary trip had taken its toll on the team. Although they were defeated, they showed the world what they were willing to endure to have a go at their dream. Despite their defeat, I admire their determination and courage to experience their dream. How many of us can match such great effort, such great determination?
James Connolly from Boston made it to Athens to take part and become a champion in the first modern Olympics despite a number of hardships. He had to quit Harvard University when study leave was disallowed. In Naples, Italy, while wandering around the city, he was pick-pocketed. Fortunately, someone gave him room and board. Just like the Klondikers, the journey to Greece left him tired and weak. Despite what he had gone through, he became the Olympic champion for the hop, step and jump. Despite the obstacles, he made it!
There is this story of a nearly blind basketball player whose ‘sensational shooting inspired millions of young people to overcome hardships and disabilities in order to reach their goals.’ This awesome basketball player, George Glamack, practiced long hours to perfect a shot with his back to the basket. His miraculous ability to shoot with such accuracy must have taken so much practice, determination and courage. It is a story every youngster who feels inferior ought to read. How can anyone be in a worse position than ‘The blind bomber’?
How much would any human sacrifice for his fellow men? In ‘What price victory’, I read of the great Lawrence Lemieux who was on the verge of overtaking the lead when he, without hesitation, put aside his dream of winning an Olympic boat race, to rescue two drowning sailors from strong waves. It was a save that cost him an Olympic gold medal. He had lost a gold medal but he had shown he was more than just an excellent sailor. He had shown invaluable love for his fellow men!
Another great lady professional golfer, Mary Bea Porter, lost the opportunity to qualify for the Standard Register Turquoise Classic in Phoenix, Arizona in 1988, when she climbed over the fence separating the golf course from a pool to save a child who had just been pulled out of the water by his father who did know how to revive the unconscious boy. She saved the boy. In the process of trying to control her emotions so that she could act quickly and calmly in order to help the child, she was mentally and emotionally drained by the time she got back to the golf course. The experience had shaken her up and she was unable to concentrate on the game well. Thus, she missed the qualifying mark by three strokes. She has shown the qualities of a saint in her love for the life of another. Is there any love greater than this?
Impossible but true! In ‘The girl who managed the Dodgers’, Jill Baer was the lady manager of a major-league baseball team for a day in 1978. It happened at a time where women were not expected to manage men in a men’s game. It was a dream that only determination and knowledge could have lead to such a possibility. Even though she managed it for just a day, she studied and knew the strengths and weaknesses of every player. With that knowledge she switched the line-up and improved the team. You do not believe it? Well, go and get the book.
Sheer willpower won the boxing match for Joe Jeanette. Although he was knocked down 27 times, he refused to give up. Although he suffered pain and exhaustion, he fought on with courage and determination against Sam McVey in 1909 in Paris. Eventually, as Sam became weaker, Joe became stronger and he knocked Sam down 19 times. Finally, Sam keeled over from exhaustion through fighting an opponent who refused to quit! They had fought for three and a half hours! Such was their determination not to quit!
And fear of horses could not prevent someone from becoming a jockey. Not just any jockey, Chris McCarron rode a record 546 winning rides in a single year by 1975. And this was the achievement despite being nearly thrown off a huge thoroughbred the first time. It took him a few weeks to regain his confidence to climb onto another horse. He struggled with his fears and won! Those who have fears can learn something from this man.
In fact, there is a lot we can learn from the incredible athletes in this well written book. ‘The Greatest Sports Stories Never Told’ certainly deserves your time and attention. Read about the greatness of these remarkable men and women. Encourage your children to read the book. Be a little like them and life would be so much more beautiful!
A few of the stories were really inspiring. In ‘The old man in the net’ I read about the Rangers’ only ice-hockey goalie being injured and a replacement was needed in ten minutes failing which they would have to forfeit the game. A goalie from another team was willing to be the replacement but that was opposed by the opposing team’s coach. With time rushing the team to its forfeiture, the 45 year-old Rangers’ coach had to agree to be the replacement, although he had not skated in a game for three years. Despite the taunts concerning his age from the opposing team, his unbelievably spectacular efforts inspired his team to win the game even as he fought to stave off exhaustion. This old coach was indeed awesome! In whatever field of life, you could also rise to the occasion when the need arises. This is not the first time such wonderful capabilities have surfaced in times of need.
In 1952, another hockey veteran, Bill Mosienko, beat a young goalie who had taunted him as an ‘old man’. With his experience, he could read the rookie’s moves and to prove himself right, he scored three times in 21 seconds, breaking the previous record of 1 minute and 4 seconds set in 1938. Experience has won the game. He won the respect of the rookie who grudgingly saluted the veteran.
‘Pa’s promise’ was how an 80 year-old grandpa gave every minute of his life to encourage and support his grandson’s dream of becoming a pro bowler. His support was not just moral but also financial. Wherever his grandson’s tournament took him, his grandpa was sure to follow. The grandpa even improved his knowledge of the game in order to discuss the games with his grandson, pointing out mistakes in the grandson’s moves and polishing his bowling skills. Love got this old man to sacrifice and give ten or more years of his life to his grandson. That is the beauty of love!
The dream of playing for hockey’s greatest prize, The Stanley Cup in 1905 took an amateur team from Canada’s Yukon territory to Ottawa. The Klondikers’ determination to fulfill its dream could only be possible through financial backing from a gold miner who recently struck it rich. That was not all! The team had to travel by dogsled, suffering from blisters, frostbites and exhaustion, for 350 miles to Skagway which took five days. Five days later, the team took a ship to Seattle. The journey left the players seasick and weak. Next, they rode the stagecoach 200 miles to Vancouver where they boarded a train for the 2,850 miles cross-country trip to their destination. The long, weary trip had taken its toll on the team. Although they were defeated, they showed the world what they were willing to endure to have a go at their dream. Despite their defeat, I admire their determination and courage to experience their dream. How many of us can match such great effort, such great determination?
James Connolly from Boston made it to Athens to take part and become a champion in the first modern Olympics despite a number of hardships. He had to quit Harvard University when study leave was disallowed. In Naples, Italy, while wandering around the city, he was pick-pocketed. Fortunately, someone gave him room and board. Just like the Klondikers, the journey to Greece left him tired and weak. Despite what he had gone through, he became the Olympic champion for the hop, step and jump. Despite the obstacles, he made it!
There is this story of a nearly blind basketball player whose ‘sensational shooting inspired millions of young people to overcome hardships and disabilities in order to reach their goals.’ This awesome basketball player, George Glamack, practiced long hours to perfect a shot with his back to the basket. His miraculous ability to shoot with such accuracy must have taken so much practice, determination and courage. It is a story every youngster who feels inferior ought to read. How can anyone be in a worse position than ‘The blind bomber’?
How much would any human sacrifice for his fellow men? In ‘What price victory’, I read of the great Lawrence Lemieux who was on the verge of overtaking the lead when he, without hesitation, put aside his dream of winning an Olympic boat race, to rescue two drowning sailors from strong waves. It was a save that cost him an Olympic gold medal. He had lost a gold medal but he had shown he was more than just an excellent sailor. He had shown invaluable love for his fellow men!
Another great lady professional golfer, Mary Bea Porter, lost the opportunity to qualify for the Standard Register Turquoise Classic in Phoenix, Arizona in 1988, when she climbed over the fence separating the golf course from a pool to save a child who had just been pulled out of the water by his father who did know how to revive the unconscious boy. She saved the boy. In the process of trying to control her emotions so that she could act quickly and calmly in order to help the child, she was mentally and emotionally drained by the time she got back to the golf course. The experience had shaken her up and she was unable to concentrate on the game well. Thus, she missed the qualifying mark by three strokes. She has shown the qualities of a saint in her love for the life of another. Is there any love greater than this?
Impossible but true! In ‘The girl who managed the Dodgers’, Jill Baer was the lady manager of a major-league baseball team for a day in 1978. It happened at a time where women were not expected to manage men in a men’s game. It was a dream that only determination and knowledge could have lead to such a possibility. Even though she managed it for just a day, she studied and knew the strengths and weaknesses of every player. With that knowledge she switched the line-up and improved the team. You do not believe it? Well, go and get the book.
Sheer willpower won the boxing match for Joe Jeanette. Although he was knocked down 27 times, he refused to give up. Although he suffered pain and exhaustion, he fought on with courage and determination against Sam McVey in 1909 in Paris. Eventually, as Sam became weaker, Joe became stronger and he knocked Sam down 19 times. Finally, Sam keeled over from exhaustion through fighting an opponent who refused to quit! They had fought for three and a half hours! Such was their determination not to quit!
And fear of horses could not prevent someone from becoming a jockey. Not just any jockey, Chris McCarron rode a record 546 winning rides in a single year by 1975. And this was the achievement despite being nearly thrown off a huge thoroughbred the first time. It took him a few weeks to regain his confidence to climb onto another horse. He struggled with his fears and won! Those who have fears can learn something from this man.
In fact, there is a lot we can learn from the incredible athletes in this well written book. ‘The Greatest Sports Stories Never Told’ certainly deserves your time and attention. Read about the greatness of these remarkable men and women. Encourage your children to read the book. Be a little like them and life would be so much more beautiful!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Let them fly to their destiny.
It is sad when parents who truly love their children cannot get themselves to allow their children to lead their own lives.
I once taught in a secondary school in Kota Kuala Muda in Southern Kedah. It was there that I had a very bright student who was always very positive about school work and life. Her work was excellent. Of course, she was this teacher’s pet.
She did very well in her form five examination and looked forward to furthering her studies in another town. Upon hearing that, i encouraged her.
Unfortunately, her parents, who had two sons and one daughter, did not wish her to leave home. Their two elder sons have gone overseas for further studies. Naturally, they missed their two sons. There were times they believed they should not have let them go away. The father and mother did not want their only girl to leave them too.
I went to persuade them to give their daughter the opportunity to improve herself and find her own future. They told me they would be lonely without the daughter. Of course, they were right to think of the fate that would be theirs should she go away. However, their wedded partner was still around. It should not be too lonely. Furthermore, was it right to restrict the daughter’s success? She had her life to lead. It would mean the end of her education and other opportunities.
Should parents be so selfish? Is it the right kind of love? Have they ever really thought of what the rest of their daugther's life would be like after that?
Just like us, each and every child has his/her own future and life to look forwad to.
There comes a time when parents must allow their children to venture wherever their destiny summons. Of course, it is painful to not be able to have our loved ones near, possibly not see them as often or to look after them anymore. However, it is the greatest love of all to care enough to sacrifice ourselves to ensure the happiness and success of the ones we love and care for. With the care, where is the love?
When the time comes, are we able to release the hold on our children so that they can reach out towards their destiny? How generous are we with our love?
I once taught in a secondary school in Kota Kuala Muda in Southern Kedah. It was there that I had a very bright student who was always very positive about school work and life. Her work was excellent. Of course, she was this teacher’s pet.
She did very well in her form five examination and looked forward to furthering her studies in another town. Upon hearing that, i encouraged her.
Unfortunately, her parents, who had two sons and one daughter, did not wish her to leave home. Their two elder sons have gone overseas for further studies. Naturally, they missed their two sons. There were times they believed they should not have let them go away. The father and mother did not want their only girl to leave them too.
I went to persuade them to give their daughter the opportunity to improve herself and find her own future. They told me they would be lonely without the daughter. Of course, they were right to think of the fate that would be theirs should she go away. However, their wedded partner was still around. It should not be too lonely. Furthermore, was it right to restrict the daughter’s success? She had her life to lead. It would mean the end of her education and other opportunities.
Should parents be so selfish? Is it the right kind of love? Have they ever really thought of what the rest of their daugther's life would be like after that?
Just like us, each and every child has his/her own future and life to look forwad to.
There comes a time when parents must allow their children to venture wherever their destiny summons. Of course, it is painful to not be able to have our loved ones near, possibly not see them as often or to look after them anymore. However, it is the greatest love of all to care enough to sacrifice ourselves to ensure the happiness and success of the ones we love and care for. With the care, where is the love?
When the time comes, are we able to release the hold on our children so that they can reach out towards their destiny? How generous are we with our love?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
From a gambler to a preacher.
This is a true story. However, certain unimportant details have been changed as the person is quite sensitive about his past.
I knew a very rich man who owned a rice-mill. He was so rich that he gave his only son a lot of money, daily pocket money that any child could not have spent in a week.
His son was given even more money as he grew up. With lots of money to spend and nothing much to spend it on, his son gambled with it. Fortunately, it was not a problem then as there was sufficient for him to lose and not feel the pinch.
However, as he grew older, he got married. Early years in marriage did not present any problem either as there were no children yet.
Time came for my friend to depart from this life.
Then, in time, his son’s family grew with the birth of three children and somehow life changed. He spent more and more time outside his home, gambling into the night. The stakes were also higher when adults gambled. Gradually, the rice-mill had to be sold.
Lack of money became the source of much discontent. There was insufficient food on the dining table. The children were often scolded by teachers for not paying their fees. The wife lead a lonely life, burdened each day with management of a home without the loving master. Dissatisfaction crept into the family and soon this was followed by quarrels. The family was no longer happy.
Just as the family was reaching breaking point, destiny puts out a hand to pull it back to firmer ground. Well, someone introduced Christianity to the man of the family. The son went to church. Since then, he was a changed man.
He became the responsible father, caring for his home, his wife, his children and went home early each day with his money spent on necessary things for the family. He attended church regularly, took interest in its activities and eventually became the pastor of his small town church.
Of course, other relatives were not happy as they were Buddhist or Taoist. I heard about the noise they made and told them, that although I am no Christian, I was happy for him as it had made him a better man. That is important to him and the happiness of his family.
And all good things can only come from God. For me, God did not belong to any religion. He was here before any religion was created. It is He who created the religions, not the other way round. And it is good to have religions, as can be seen how individuals have been saved from self destruction, just like this friend's son had been saved. So, for me, God is with me, with you and with us. God is our saviour, never the destroyer. Sometimes humans destroy under the excuse of God and religion. If they truly respect and worship God, they would never abuse His name.
Be it Christian, Muslim, Taoist or Buddhist, what does it matter? God saved this friend! That was good! Does it matter whether God came to him through Christianity, Islam, Taoism or Buddhism? What do you think? Please give us your comment. All comments are acceptable to me.
By the way, the pampered child in this true story did manage to get out of the rut through religion. Well, all religions are good and have a role to play, as Christianity did in this friend’s life.
I knew a very rich man who owned a rice-mill. He was so rich that he gave his only son a lot of money, daily pocket money that any child could not have spent in a week.
His son was given even more money as he grew up. With lots of money to spend and nothing much to spend it on, his son gambled with it. Fortunately, it was not a problem then as there was sufficient for him to lose and not feel the pinch.
However, as he grew older, he got married. Early years in marriage did not present any problem either as there were no children yet.
Time came for my friend to depart from this life.
Then, in time, his son’s family grew with the birth of three children and somehow life changed. He spent more and more time outside his home, gambling into the night. The stakes were also higher when adults gambled. Gradually, the rice-mill had to be sold.
Lack of money became the source of much discontent. There was insufficient food on the dining table. The children were often scolded by teachers for not paying their fees. The wife lead a lonely life, burdened each day with management of a home without the loving master. Dissatisfaction crept into the family and soon this was followed by quarrels. The family was no longer happy.
Just as the family was reaching breaking point, destiny puts out a hand to pull it back to firmer ground. Well, someone introduced Christianity to the man of the family. The son went to church. Since then, he was a changed man.
He became the responsible father, caring for his home, his wife, his children and went home early each day with his money spent on necessary things for the family. He attended church regularly, took interest in its activities and eventually became the pastor of his small town church.
Of course, other relatives were not happy as they were Buddhist or Taoist. I heard about the noise they made and told them, that although I am no Christian, I was happy for him as it had made him a better man. That is important to him and the happiness of his family.
And all good things can only come from God. For me, God did not belong to any religion. He was here before any religion was created. It is He who created the religions, not the other way round. And it is good to have religions, as can be seen how individuals have been saved from self destruction, just like this friend's son had been saved. So, for me, God is with me, with you and with us. God is our saviour, never the destroyer. Sometimes humans destroy under the excuse of God and religion. If they truly respect and worship God, they would never abuse His name.
Be it Christian, Muslim, Taoist or Buddhist, what does it matter? God saved this friend! That was good! Does it matter whether God came to him through Christianity, Islam, Taoism or Buddhism? What do you think? Please give us your comment. All comments are acceptable to me.
By the way, the pampered child in this true story did manage to get out of the rut through religion. Well, all religions are good and have a role to play, as Christianity did in this friend’s life.
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Believe that it can be done!
When our children want to take on any challenge, be it an elocution competition or an English commentary on a Japanese movie, encourage them. This is especially so when our children themselves voiced their wish to go for it.
As parents, we ought to understand that every challenge our children willingly takes on must always be considered as a step towards self improvement.
I know there are some who would like to point out that our children may fail in the challenge. “So what?” I would say. After all, is not life always full of challenges? Are not failures a part of the learning process? And if our children are not allowed to face challenges they believe they have the opportunity to succeed in; then, when are they going to know their potentials, when are they going to know their limits and when are they going to improve? How are they going to learn everything about their capabilities when they only see the possiblities and the probabilities but not the certainty? How are they going to know themselves well?
It is not the failing that we ought to fear, for it is the attitude towards it that matters. In life, if we fear failure, then we will never try anything. Then, what possible thing can we get out of life? For, in all ventures that we ever made, there is always the chance to succeed or fail. Nevertheless, without any attempt, how are we ever to know which will be the outcome?
Take falling in love. If we do not allow ourselves to do so, how are we ever to know the outcome? Even if we fail in our first love, that should not deter us from falling in love again. What is important is the ability to face failure, take it as a part of life, learn from it our own weaknesses and go on to live another love. Those who commit suicide as a result of such a failure are those whose minds are unaware that one love does not a make a whole life-time. They have never known how to face problems and challenges in life. Maybe, they were never given the opportunity to face life's challenges. Even if love matures into marriage, marriage does not guarantee happiness forever. Marriage merely gives us the opportunity to help each other to reach happiness through love. The possibility and probability of happiness is there. The challenge lies in the sustenance of love. (I shall go into that in a future post for it's a subject I have thought deeply about.)
In every competition our children take part in, there is always the chance to fail to emerge as the best. No matter how good our children are, there could always be someone better at a particular time. However, that is not true failure!
What is failure to us? It depends upon how you look at it. For example, is being in second place a failure? What about third place? Fourth place? To me, so long as they benefit from the participation, they have won something. They have gained something. Do you agree? Please think about it.
Furthermore, being in fourth place is not being a failure. It merely means that at that particular time, three persons managed to prove themselves better. It could be they have more experience, more knowledge and longer training in attaining certain required skills. Of course, we should not make these our excuses. However, given the same experience, knowledge and training, the fourth placed person may turn out to be even better than the present best. In true life, we see it happen all the time. They move up the ranks and become the world's best in time to come.
Even if your child does not get a placing, he/she has learned something. He would have understood himself/herself better and know which field to enter in future.
The wonderful thing about challenges and activities which our children want to face in their youth is they give our children the chance to understand and know their own strength and weaknesses, their potentials and their limits. And if parents give them the encouragement by appreciating their aspirations and their efforts, they can develop great attitudes, excellent resilience and a strong character.
To know our weaknesses, limits, strength and potentials is important as with that knowledge, we know in which career or sphere of life we would be able to excel. Let us face the fact that no individual can be excellent in everything. Some cannot excel in science but are fabulous in arts. Every one of us can, with the right knowledge, be successful in many things but the chances of being successful are much better in areas where our strengths and potentials lie.
Just as a general with knowledge of his army’s strengths and weaknesses can plan a suitable strategy to win, so can our children if they understand their own capabilities and weaknesses well.
All of us have our weaknesses and limits. Some among us, I am one of them, cannot excel in singing or dancing, although we are among the best in other matters. If we know our weaknesses in singing, we can put some effort into overcoming it and thus, still have fun or be fairly good at it but we know we can never be another Elvis Presley or Cliff Richard no matter how much we train or how many times we go onto a stage.
Never mind, just be like me. I can still sing to myself to my heart's content in my bathroom. I am my own best fan!
Actually, there are many adults who do not fully know their own strengths and weaknesses or potentials and limits. For our children to have this knowledge, we ought to encourage them to try out whatever they want. This is the kind of knowledge that will indicate which direction probably leads to success and which possibly takes them to dead-ends. Such knowledge is similar to a map which shows dead-end roads as well as all the roads leading to success.
So, should we not encourage our children in whatever dreams they have?
As parents, we ought to understand that every challenge our children willingly takes on must always be considered as a step towards self improvement.
I know there are some who would like to point out that our children may fail in the challenge. “So what?” I would say. After all, is not life always full of challenges? Are not failures a part of the learning process? And if our children are not allowed to face challenges they believe they have the opportunity to succeed in; then, when are they going to know their potentials, when are they going to know their limits and when are they going to improve? How are they going to learn everything about their capabilities when they only see the possiblities and the probabilities but not the certainty? How are they going to know themselves well?
It is not the failing that we ought to fear, for it is the attitude towards it that matters. In life, if we fear failure, then we will never try anything. Then, what possible thing can we get out of life? For, in all ventures that we ever made, there is always the chance to succeed or fail. Nevertheless, without any attempt, how are we ever to know which will be the outcome?
Take falling in love. If we do not allow ourselves to do so, how are we ever to know the outcome? Even if we fail in our first love, that should not deter us from falling in love again. What is important is the ability to face failure, take it as a part of life, learn from it our own weaknesses and go on to live another love. Those who commit suicide as a result of such a failure are those whose minds are unaware that one love does not a make a whole life-time. They have never known how to face problems and challenges in life. Maybe, they were never given the opportunity to face life's challenges. Even if love matures into marriage, marriage does not guarantee happiness forever. Marriage merely gives us the opportunity to help each other to reach happiness through love. The possibility and probability of happiness is there. The challenge lies in the sustenance of love. (I shall go into that in a future post for it's a subject I have thought deeply about.)
In every competition our children take part in, there is always the chance to fail to emerge as the best. No matter how good our children are, there could always be someone better at a particular time. However, that is not true failure!
What is failure to us? It depends upon how you look at it. For example, is being in second place a failure? What about third place? Fourth place? To me, so long as they benefit from the participation, they have won something. They have gained something. Do you agree? Please think about it.
Furthermore, being in fourth place is not being a failure. It merely means that at that particular time, three persons managed to prove themselves better. It could be they have more experience, more knowledge and longer training in attaining certain required skills. Of course, we should not make these our excuses. However, given the same experience, knowledge and training, the fourth placed person may turn out to be even better than the present best. In true life, we see it happen all the time. They move up the ranks and become the world's best in time to come.
Even if your child does not get a placing, he/she has learned something. He would have understood himself/herself better and know which field to enter in future.
The wonderful thing about challenges and activities which our children want to face in their youth is they give our children the chance to understand and know their own strength and weaknesses, their potentials and their limits. And if parents give them the encouragement by appreciating their aspirations and their efforts, they can develop great attitudes, excellent resilience and a strong character.
To know our weaknesses, limits, strength and potentials is important as with that knowledge, we know in which career or sphere of life we would be able to excel. Let us face the fact that no individual can be excellent in everything. Some cannot excel in science but are fabulous in arts. Every one of us can, with the right knowledge, be successful in many things but the chances of being successful are much better in areas where our strengths and potentials lie.
Just as a general with knowledge of his army’s strengths and weaknesses can plan a suitable strategy to win, so can our children if they understand their own capabilities and weaknesses well.
All of us have our weaknesses and limits. Some among us, I am one of them, cannot excel in singing or dancing, although we are among the best in other matters. If we know our weaknesses in singing, we can put some effort into overcoming it and thus, still have fun or be fairly good at it but we know we can never be another Elvis Presley or Cliff Richard no matter how much we train or how many times we go onto a stage.
Never mind, just be like me. I can still sing to myself to my heart's content in my bathroom. I am my own best fan!
Actually, there are many adults who do not fully know their own strengths and weaknesses or potentials and limits. For our children to have this knowledge, we ought to encourage them to try out whatever they want. This is the kind of knowledge that will indicate which direction probably leads to success and which possibly takes them to dead-ends. Such knowledge is similar to a map which shows dead-end roads as well as all the roads leading to success.
So, should we not encourage our children in whatever dreams they have?
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Be big but not that big.
After being born, acquiring sufficient correct nutrients to grow so as to have the best possible bone density and the best possible healthy growth of the various organs, is important to reach the best physical potential any individual is capable of.
When it comes to bone density, I am not saying it is desirable to have big bones. Gymnast, for instance, need to be strong and powerful but not big boned or too tall. A wrestler must have the maximam weight and the thickness of skeleton to combine with their power and practised skills to excel. So, it depends.
To develop physically, this has to be done before the approximate age of thirty, after which nothing much can be done. After that age, it is only possible to maintain whatever has been developed.
To achieve our goal of giving maximum possible physical growth to our children, they can be allowed to be plump but not so overweight that there is no possibility of the condition being reversed as they become teenagers.
Being overweight has nothing to do with size. A stout person is often seen to be big but is not necessarily overweight.
Overweight or the better word for it, obesity, means having an amount of excessive fat being lugged around by our body and hampering our organ's work twenty four hours a day.
In their teens, our children may gradually realise that the extra weight they carry around can be a disadvantage. They can be clumsy and are not able to participate in some of the more vigorous activities of their peers.
However, if obesity is still at a low level and if our young adults are habitually active, it may not present any problem.
As they grow older, their problems with too much weight may become more noticeable. Some may have to start seeing their doctors more often with diabetes or some kind of heart disease.
According to the latest research, excess fat comes not so much from consuming fats as from consuming too much carbohydrates. The experts tell us people who consume fats do not feel as hungry as often as those who consume carbohydrates. That is because fats is not as easily digestible as carbohydrates. Also due to this reason, easily digested carbohydrates make us feel hungry sooner. In the process, we take in more food which means more calories, causing more blood sugar leading eventually to diabetes.
For young adults burdened with excessive weight, unless they do vigorous walking or running regularly at least three times a week to bring down their weight, their weight will increase with our age.
When weight is borne by their skeletons to wherever they go, certain parts of the skeleton like the spine and the rib-care will have to suffer. To remain upright and straight becomes a heavy task for the spine. That is why older men and women who are too fat hunch more than their peers as they age. Not only that, there could also be pain as gravity and weight presses down on each and every vetebrae, perhaps pinching some nerves in the process. Having to support too much fat around it, the rib cage suffers and that is the reason some fat old people complain of pain at their sides, near the ribs.
The joints suffer too when excessive weight is put onto them in every move they take. With more pressure on them, they will wear out faster.
With too much fat around the organs, the lungs have to struggle to breathe, the heart has a tough time pumping blood to every part of the body.
With fat around our organs and body, movement is bound to become more and more limited and it is just a matter of time for fat to beat any will-power a person may need to overcome it unless we set out with determination to beat it before it does.
Prevention is the best way to ensure such hardships which impede movement does not become our misery; with such impediment further aggravating the situation with even less movement can only mean less calories burnt. With hardly any brisk movement, energy is barely used up and excess fat builds up; each day fat is added as almost the same amount of food is usually consumed although there is less activity.
Any preventive steps must be taken as early as possible as age can sap us of our strength, mobility, metabolism and almost everything needed to overcome obesity.
When it comes to bone density, I am not saying it is desirable to have big bones. Gymnast, for instance, need to be strong and powerful but not big boned or too tall. A wrestler must have the maximam weight and the thickness of skeleton to combine with their power and practised skills to excel. So, it depends.
To develop physically, this has to be done before the approximate age of thirty, after which nothing much can be done. After that age, it is only possible to maintain whatever has been developed.
To achieve our goal of giving maximum possible physical growth to our children, they can be allowed to be plump but not so overweight that there is no possibility of the condition being reversed as they become teenagers.
Being overweight has nothing to do with size. A stout person is often seen to be big but is not necessarily overweight.
Overweight or the better word for it, obesity, means having an amount of excessive fat being lugged around by our body and hampering our organ's work twenty four hours a day.
In their teens, our children may gradually realise that the extra weight they carry around can be a disadvantage. They can be clumsy and are not able to participate in some of the more vigorous activities of their peers.
However, if obesity is still at a low level and if our young adults are habitually active, it may not present any problem.
As they grow older, their problems with too much weight may become more noticeable. Some may have to start seeing their doctors more often with diabetes or some kind of heart disease.
According to the latest research, excess fat comes not so much from consuming fats as from consuming too much carbohydrates. The experts tell us people who consume fats do not feel as hungry as often as those who consume carbohydrates. That is because fats is not as easily digestible as carbohydrates. Also due to this reason, easily digested carbohydrates make us feel hungry sooner. In the process, we take in more food which means more calories, causing more blood sugar leading eventually to diabetes.
For young adults burdened with excessive weight, unless they do vigorous walking or running regularly at least three times a week to bring down their weight, their weight will increase with our age.
When weight is borne by their skeletons to wherever they go, certain parts of the skeleton like the spine and the rib-care will have to suffer. To remain upright and straight becomes a heavy task for the spine. That is why older men and women who are too fat hunch more than their peers as they age. Not only that, there could also be pain as gravity and weight presses down on each and every vetebrae, perhaps pinching some nerves in the process. Having to support too much fat around it, the rib cage suffers and that is the reason some fat old people complain of pain at their sides, near the ribs.
The joints suffer too when excessive weight is put onto them in every move they take. With more pressure on them, they will wear out faster.
With too much fat around the organs, the lungs have to struggle to breathe, the heart has a tough time pumping blood to every part of the body.
With fat around our organs and body, movement is bound to become more and more limited and it is just a matter of time for fat to beat any will-power a person may need to overcome it unless we set out with determination to beat it before it does.
Prevention is the best way to ensure such hardships which impede movement does not become our misery; with such impediment further aggravating the situation with even less movement can only mean less calories burnt. With hardly any brisk movement, energy is barely used up and excess fat builds up; each day fat is added as almost the same amount of food is usually consumed although there is less activity.
Any preventive steps must be taken as early as possible as age can sap us of our strength, mobility, metabolism and almost everything needed to overcome obesity.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Thank God. We can read!
In the library on Wednesday, the 6th of May, 2009, I read in the New Straits Times of how unscrupulous some people can become through their greediness.
According to the report, a team from the Health Ministry raided a pharmacy and discovered that it had sold one thousand codeine tablets each week to a coffee shop which sells each glass of a herbal tea laced with a tablet of the drug, giving its customers a high each time. Of course, with addition, the customers will head for their herbal tea each day. The coffee shop and the pharmacy are located in Petaling Jaya, Sleangor, Malaysia.
For those people who are not literate, such knowledge may never reach them unless it can be conveyed to them through a literate friend.
Certainly, literacy is important in our society. It is even more so than experience.
Especially in the matter of drugs and its consumption, we should not wish to experience it, unless it is the only way to overcome some kind of sickness. This particular drug, codeine, is used in cough mixtures. We have read before about drug addicts buying cough mixture as a cheap form of drug-taking. Unfortunately for those people who take codeine in beverages or cough mixtures, they become addicted after some time.
Once addicted, they may have to progress to stronger drugs to have their ‘kick’. Such highs can lead to problems for their family and society. Money to support such a bad habit will empty the addict’s account. Stealing may be the only way to get sufficient funds. That’s when everyone in the addicts' locality may have to suffer for his/her addiction.
If one is not careful, fire-crackers can deprive one of a few fingers. Addiction is worse! One can lose oneself! It can deprive a person of his/her human feelings and responsibility to society. Such things are too dangerous to experience. Knowledge of such things have to come from books, magazines or newspapers.
That is one reason every country throughout the world wants one hundred percent of its people to be literate. That is why language learning must begin from the first day of life.
According to the report, a team from the Health Ministry raided a pharmacy and discovered that it had sold one thousand codeine tablets each week to a coffee shop which sells each glass of a herbal tea laced with a tablet of the drug, giving its customers a high each time. Of course, with addition, the customers will head for their herbal tea each day. The coffee shop and the pharmacy are located in Petaling Jaya, Sleangor, Malaysia.
For those people who are not literate, such knowledge may never reach them unless it can be conveyed to them through a literate friend.
Certainly, literacy is important in our society. It is even more so than experience.
Especially in the matter of drugs and its consumption, we should not wish to experience it, unless it is the only way to overcome some kind of sickness. This particular drug, codeine, is used in cough mixtures. We have read before about drug addicts buying cough mixture as a cheap form of drug-taking. Unfortunately for those people who take codeine in beverages or cough mixtures, they become addicted after some time.
Once addicted, they may have to progress to stronger drugs to have their ‘kick’. Such highs can lead to problems for their family and society. Money to support such a bad habit will empty the addict’s account. Stealing may be the only way to get sufficient funds. That’s when everyone in the addicts' locality may have to suffer for his/her addiction.
If one is not careful, fire-crackers can deprive one of a few fingers. Addiction is worse! One can lose oneself! It can deprive a person of his/her human feelings and responsibility to society. Such things are too dangerous to experience. Knowledge of such things have to come from books, magazines or newspapers.
That is one reason every country throughout the world wants one hundred percent of its people to be literate. That is why language learning must begin from the first day of life.
Fantastic facts about saturated fat.
Healthy Nutrition: Saturated Fat: What to Do?
By Laura LaValle, RD, LD
One of the biggest areas of dietary confusion today is whether saturated fat is bad for us or not. For the most part, conventional medical thought remains firmly in the “saturated fat is bad for you” corner, while a growing number of people feel that not only is the jury still out on saturated fat intake, it may even have health benefits.
One of the primary reasons we are told to lower our saturated fat intake is to lower heart disease risk. As Jim and I have already discussed in several Total Health Breakthroughs articles, studies looking at the effects of low carb diets are a big reason the effects of saturated fats are being questioned; that’s because numerous studies have found that low carb diets lower total cholesterol and triglycerides while increasing HDL — despite being higher than is conventionally recommended for saturated fat intake.
These changes in lipid profiles lower the risk of heart disease, not raise it.
As if these findings aren’t reason enough to prove that conventional medicine may be wrong about saturated fat, another study out of Harvard has really raised some questions. This study looked at postmenopausal women who had previously eaten low fat diets and who, despite that fact, had plaque build-up in their arteries. But the same study found that when the women ate diets that were higher in saturated fat, the progression of arterial plaque stopped.
Interestingly, the one factor that was associated with progression of artery clogging plaque was a higher intake of carbohydrates, as is typically eaten on a low fat diet.
Other findings that are shedding more light on the effects of saturated fats stem from research that is being conducted on the different types of fatty acid chains like lauric acid, myristic acid, stearic acid, and butyric acid, which together make up the whole category of saturated fats.
These fatty acids are all saturated, but they differ in composition and function depending on the length of their carbon chains. If you haven’t heard much about them yet, you will, because the research on them is hot and heavy.
Here are some examples of the research findings:
Stearic fatty acids are composed of 18 carbon atoms and are commonly found in cocoa butter and fatty meats, like beef. Quite surprisingly, research has revealed that stearic acid doesn’t raise cholesterol levels as much as myristic acid found in dairy foods; and palmitic acid from palm oil actually lowers cholesterol.
Lauric acid, a 12-carbon chain, is commonly found in coconut oil, palm oil and breast milk. It is gaining attention because it raises healthy HDL cholesterol but not serum triglycerides and lipoprotein(a) concentrations (risk factors for heart disease). These findings further shatter the notion that saturated fats as a whole increase heart disease risk.
In considering whether we should consume saturated fats or not, heart disease should not be our only consideration. Higher saturated fat intake from full fat dairy products has been found to decrease a woman’s risk of being infertile, while eating low fat dairy foods, which most people do to lower their heart disease risk, was found to increase risk of being infertile.
And while I see many headlines and articles stating that saturated fat intake in general is associated with an increased risk of cancer, many people feel that some of the risk could be from other factors like heterocyclic amines (HCAs) produced from over-cooked meats or the hormones that are sometimes injected into commercial livestock and poultry.
In fact, while it is not yet definitive, it looks like butyric acid, one source of which is butter (a saturated fat), may play a role in preventing cancer by stopping the development of cancer cells.
As more research accumulates, there is no doubt the messages to consumers about saturated fats will be modified. In the meantime, our position at LMI remains the same: limit carbohydrates and center the diet on plant foods and organic proteins. And we probably shouldn’t be afraid to include some saturated fats from butter, cocoa butter, coconut oil, and organic meats and dairy (as tolerated).
This article appears courtesy of Early to Rise’s Total Health Breakthroughs which offers alternative health solutions for mind, body and soul.
By Laura LaValle, RD, LD
One of the biggest areas of dietary confusion today is whether saturated fat is bad for us or not. For the most part, conventional medical thought remains firmly in the “saturated fat is bad for you” corner, while a growing number of people feel that not only is the jury still out on saturated fat intake, it may even have health benefits.
One of the primary reasons we are told to lower our saturated fat intake is to lower heart disease risk. As Jim and I have already discussed in several Total Health Breakthroughs articles, studies looking at the effects of low carb diets are a big reason the effects of saturated fats are being questioned; that’s because numerous studies have found that low carb diets lower total cholesterol and triglycerides while increasing HDL — despite being higher than is conventionally recommended for saturated fat intake.
These changes in lipid profiles lower the risk of heart disease, not raise it.
As if these findings aren’t reason enough to prove that conventional medicine may be wrong about saturated fat, another study out of Harvard has really raised some questions. This study looked at postmenopausal women who had previously eaten low fat diets and who, despite that fact, had plaque build-up in their arteries. But the same study found that when the women ate diets that were higher in saturated fat, the progression of arterial plaque stopped.
Interestingly, the one factor that was associated with progression of artery clogging plaque was a higher intake of carbohydrates, as is typically eaten on a low fat diet.
Other findings that are shedding more light on the effects of saturated fats stem from research that is being conducted on the different types of fatty acid chains like lauric acid, myristic acid, stearic acid, and butyric acid, which together make up the whole category of saturated fats.
These fatty acids are all saturated, but they differ in composition and function depending on the length of their carbon chains. If you haven’t heard much about them yet, you will, because the research on them is hot and heavy.
Here are some examples of the research findings:
Stearic fatty acids are composed of 18 carbon atoms and are commonly found in cocoa butter and fatty meats, like beef. Quite surprisingly, research has revealed that stearic acid doesn’t raise cholesterol levels as much as myristic acid found in dairy foods; and palmitic acid from palm oil actually lowers cholesterol.
Lauric acid, a 12-carbon chain, is commonly found in coconut oil, palm oil and breast milk. It is gaining attention because it raises healthy HDL cholesterol but not serum triglycerides and lipoprotein(a) concentrations (risk factors for heart disease). These findings further shatter the notion that saturated fats as a whole increase heart disease risk.
In considering whether we should consume saturated fats or not, heart disease should not be our only consideration. Higher saturated fat intake from full fat dairy products has been found to decrease a woman’s risk of being infertile, while eating low fat dairy foods, which most people do to lower their heart disease risk, was found to increase risk of being infertile.
And while I see many headlines and articles stating that saturated fat intake in general is associated with an increased risk of cancer, many people feel that some of the risk could be from other factors like heterocyclic amines (HCAs) produced from over-cooked meats or the hormones that are sometimes injected into commercial livestock and poultry.
In fact, while it is not yet definitive, it looks like butyric acid, one source of which is butter (a saturated fat), may play a role in preventing cancer by stopping the development of cancer cells.
As more research accumulates, there is no doubt the messages to consumers about saturated fats will be modified. In the meantime, our position at LMI remains the same: limit carbohydrates and center the diet on plant foods and organic proteins. And we probably shouldn’t be afraid to include some saturated fats from butter, cocoa butter, coconut oil, and organic meats and dairy (as tolerated).
This article appears courtesy of Early to Rise’s Total Health Breakthroughs which offers alternative health solutions for mind, body and soul.
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