Pass along ‘the natural order of things’: a little love and humanity.

Here is one heart-warming story which a friend sent me through the email. Tears welled in my eyes as I read the story. The message it carries is great and I just must share this with all of you. I know not who the author is but if anyone does please tell us so that I could tell him/her of my appreciation of this beautiful piece of work that touched my heart and brought wealth to my soul. It simply is too lovely not to be read. Thank God there are people who can write such a wonderful piece. Well, enjoy it.

Two Choices
What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one.. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.
Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'
Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!
Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

May your day, be a Shay Day.

However, we need the ego to improve ourselves.

In my previous postings, I have told of the times I fell or crashed while on my motorcycle and it was all because of my strong ego. I was the one. I am still the one. To show the world how good I was, be it on a motorbike or a tall tree, my ego was willing to risk my neck and my life.

There were also the times I almost got into deep trouble, like the time when I had an encounter with the gangsters. Fortunately, I had my strength and courage to support my ego.

True, ego can bring us problems and misunderstandings. However, it is also important to have an ego. Without the ego, none of us would ever be anything. Without the ego, there would not have been any pride. Without pride in oneself, we would not desire to be the best in whatever we do. Without the ego, we would not bother to overcome obstacles and prove to ourselves that we are just as good as any other. Without my ego, there would not be me; Ong Ai Wei would not be the adventurous, hardworking, caring, loving guy who is always game enough to face whatever challenges life throws at him. Those who know me would know this to be true while those who doubt this cannot have known me well enough. See, how egoistic I can be. And I believe it is good as without it, I would not still be striving to be the best at my age.

Looking back, I was an excellent teacher, having all, with not even one failure, my art and craft students pass the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia art and craft paper every year. Though I did not get 100% passes in the SPM English paper, the percentage during all those years was something I could be proud of. And when it came to gymnastics, during the late sixties and early seventies, my first school team, the St. Michaels Secondary School team from Alor Star was the champion in Kedah state every year I was their coach. When it came to Sekolah Menengah Tengku Ismail from which I retired, the team was constantly in the first or second placing in the state.
All my efforts and training were powered by my ego.

I am what I am today because of my ego. Without my ego and self-esteem, I would not have stayed the course which was full of obstacles and pain.

So, although we have to beware of the problems our ego may lead us to, we should also let the ego power us to the greater things all of us are capable of as we remove all boundaries that may hinder our direction to better things to come. What I have in mind is control and guidance of the ego towards the right direction, the right path through right decisions.

Opportunities are always available.

Yesterday, I wrote on the DSN Course which brought so much potential for changes in the participants; changes that could only improve their lives.

As the course progressed, one of the values taught was similar to what I had written earlier on in this blog.

It brought back memories of my beautiful wife, of her beautiful ways and how i could have missed such a wonderful person had I then closed the door to such a possibility.

How is that so, you may wonder. Well, before my wife appeared on the scene, I was in love with a girl. She was another lovely woman. Her beautiful nature attracted me to her and I found her company most delightful. Unfortunately, it was a one-way track and she merely liked me very much.

Dissapointed, I was at the time. However, my then great teachers, Dale Carnegie, Napolean hill and Norman Vincent Peale had already taught me that when one door closes, another opens. And that has always been found to be true. The only thing is that even when faced with another door, we see not the opening that it presents. We are often blinded by what had happened earlier.

To overcome any tragic happening in our lives, we ought to understand what has gone can never return. We should only linger a very short while if we need to. We could help ourselves by drying our tears, look forward towards whatever could be in store for us and live the life we still have.

Similarly, even as I treasured the memories, I realised God must still have something for me and it did come in the appearance of my wife in my life.

We, my wife and I, had thirty wonderful years together and she was still holding my hand the night before she passed away in Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia. We still had love and comfort during her seven month sickness as we went from the Sungai Petani hospital to Nam Wah Ee Hopital in Penang before flying to the University Kebangsaan Hospital in Cheras, Selangor. I had taken leave from work to be with her during those months.

The point is, I would not have had known her if I had closed my heart for her love to enter. From the very beginning she had cared for me in such a memorable way and that could not have been my joy and pleasure had I not lived according to the teachings of those three great teachers.

My experience at the Art of Living's DSN Course.

The Art of Living’s DSN Course in Hotel Sri Malaysia in Kepala Batas, Penang has just ended at about six o’clock in the evening on the 6th of December 2009.

I was one of the lucky participants of that course and I must say that it aroused such great happiness in me that I just hoped that it could go on and on.
Oh, yes! You may be wondering what the DSN is. DSN stands for Divya Samaj ka Nirmaan which means Creating a Divine Society. It is a course which last for three too short days in which certain activities are used to bring forth awareness and depth of oneself.

When great awareness has been aroused with certain activities and knowledge and you can go deep within yourself through meditation; happiness, enlightenment, the removal of boundaries, gratitude and love will blossom and grow. As a result, smiles and laughter as happiness permeates the person through assisting and serving others. The heart glows with gratitude and love which is natural when everyone is helping each other grow and develop by overcoming inhibitions and obstacles in the mind. Awareness of the enemy within each of us is heightened with knowledge and understanding as we experienced the truth of the matter and overcome whatever fears we may have.

It was some of the best three days of my life as each activity brings more knowledge and understanding, greater awareness, gratitude and love to my AOL teachers and the fellow participants as we help each other overcome barriers, reach out to assist each other and create a better understanding of ourselves and others. The joy that comes through living the present moment as we reach out to people such as the old folks to give them a memorable time.

However, DSN which is Creating a Divine Society can only start the day after the course ends as we turn our minds and hearts outwards towards the people in society to get the knowledge, the techniques and the experiences to our fellow brothers and sisters in our society, in our world.

So, it is with this in mind that each participant of that DSN course moves out, reach out to as many individuals as he/she can. How successful we can create a divine society depends upon all of us.

Only when sickness comes do people realise the importance of health.

Today Imet a young man who had pain in his backbone and he feared paralysis as the pain had crept down to his legs. His eyes were also affected.

He told me of his carefree life, his smoking and drinking and how he was also growing thinner with worry. i told him that there is a cure for his backbone and gave him a massage.

At hte end of the session, he was so thankful that he was worried that he had not put enough money in his red packet. I put that feeling out of his mind and told him to return for a few more sessions.

See? People always worry only when sickness and pain troubles them. Before this, the guy had not apid any attention to his health and body.

Well, perhaps that is nature's way of teaching us to care for our health. At least, for this young man, it is not too late.

Teach them to be independent.

While I was at the hill this morning I met a guy who told me how good it was to work out at the hill. The fast walk up the hill helps to relax him and dissipate the pressure that one of his children was putting on him.

According to this guy, his child was a young man of twenty-three years. The child depends upon him for everything; even things to do with his family. Imagine, the young man even phoned him in the middle of the night a few days ago when his pregnant wife's pain indicated that it was time to be taken into the maternity ward for delivery.

Well, I had a good laugh at that. The time was not right to give him a talk on teaching independence. So, I merely suppressed my laughter and smiled with concern at his problem.

See what can happen when we do everything for our children, baby-sitting them until their body is already physically matured? None of us would want our children to be like that poor guy's kid. And, mind you, this is not the first time such a thing has happened. Some thirty years ago, when I was in Kodiang and courting my wife, a similar incident occurred with the son of my wife's landlord.

So, let us think of allowing our children to gradually take on some responsibilities in the home as well as make simple decisions such as the choice of clothes, shoes and places to go to for holidays. Such practices will help the child think of making right as well as good decisions. The process, as less and less bad decisions are made while better ones are produced, will give the child lots of self-esteem and confidence in decision making. Of course, the child may turn to the adults for advice and perhaps enquire the reason for the opinion given before making the final decision him/her self. This ought to be encouraged as that is how good leaders seek solutions; by listening, understanding the various angles to approach the problem and with better understanding thought such brain-storming, decide on the best possible solution.

Let us teach our children early so that they can benefit from it throughout their life. Any ideas how this can be improved are always appreciated.

Delay not when it's life and death.

"Hello, is that Tan?"
"Yes, speaking. Who's that?"
"Can't you recognise my voice. I'm your third uncle from Penang."
"Oh, oh! Sorry, it was some time since I heard from you. Anything, uncle?"
"Well, your aunt is sick in the General Hospital in Penang. She's quite serious with diabetes, kidney failure with 90% of the kidney gone and the heart stopped for more than six minutes. There's possible brain damage, according to the doctor."
"Which ward is she in?"
"It's ward 7 in the C block of the hospital.Please inform the rest of the relatives in Sungai Petani."
"I'll tell them about it. Sorry about auntie."

And the rest of the relatives were informed. Sometimes, relatives are slow to response to such a call. When I heard of the bad news, I told the others we had to move and get out there to the hospital immediately.

Despite that, i heard someone said she had to go to Kuala Lumpur that afternoon. Another said he would go the next day. Still another said he was not free even though it was his off day.

I had to persuade them, that this could be the last chance to see the sick aunt for the last time. Luckily, the rest of the gang got the message in and went to see her as that night our dear aunt passed away.

When it comes to death, it waits for no one and therefore we must move and do whatever needs to be done before it is too late to act.

Even when the matter has nothing certain to be connected with death, we must do whatever neccessary for our friends and love ones and leave nothing undone for how are we to know if the opportunity to do would still be around come the next day. Let us not like some people who show their regret only when such feelings no longer are of any good to the one for which it holds meaning.

As for my wife, before she went back to God, I held her hand each night to show and tell her my love for her. We were in hospital then and i would sit and hold her hand as my head bent forward onto the railing at the side of her hospital bed in sleep. She, in turn, would squeeze my hand every so often through the night. I know she died with the knowledge that she would always be in my heart.