Monday, February 13, 2012

Parents do have competitors in teaching their young.

When our children are young, we give them lots of love With love comes obedience. With love and obedience, all parents need is to tell and show the young ones the rights and the wrongs of things. But then life is not as simple for we have competitors as teachers in the forms of the television and other families or people around us.

Children learn fast, both the good and the bad from every source in and around their environment. And their minds,on the quest of knowledge and understanding, frequently enquire the reasons and what-nots of all that their senses encounter.To satisfy their curiosity and the need to know, they would experiment and research whatever they meet with.  And that is the reason we get children who smoke or drink excessively even though their parents might be non-smokers or teetotallers. Someone somewhere or the television screen caught their attention and gave them their first idea of the seemingly delightful drink or puff. Having to stealthily try the drink or the puff makes it so exciting that it might add to the fun. With that the children could be hooked and once adulthood is reached nothing but awareness could help those children and prevent such activities from becoming habitual or excessive. When it comes to alcohol, such as red wine, having a glass or two can be healthy but certainly not intoxication. When it comes to smoking, it has to be admitted that it is best not started.

But then, this is where love wins all the time. Only with great love can there be sufficient parental patience to persuade and show what can possibly happen when certain undesirable actions grow and develop. Frustration with the child can never help as this could only lead to scolding and nagging which is never pleasant and so could only serve to drive away the child. Love would also disappear under such circumstances. Thus, parents need to be patient with the beloved child to gain his/her attention to what has to be done to cancel out any bad behaviour.

With attention from the child intact, there are so many instances which can be pointed out to show what could happen should the child continue with his action(s). Live examples such as these is the best teaching method for parents. It brings awareness and the mind of the child can evaluate and so choose what is best for him/her.

Perhaps, at this point, I could use myself as an example. Like all children, I was eager to learn and experiment with things. I still do. Well, at the age of about ten, I had my first alcoholic drink. Stupid, yes! But, at that age, it was more the sweetness of the brandy that delighted my mouth. The taste was and still is undeniably good. After more than a glass, I felt uncomfortable and there was this terrible urge to vomit. I suffered many hours after the pleasure.

Fortunately, with no money for such expensive drinks, I did not have any further opportunity to drink such smooth sweetness till I started work. At work I was active in the sports area, in stadiums as judges of events. During the sixties and seventies, we had parties after each sporting event where beer, wine and brandy flowed freely. I reached out for that memorable drink of my childhood and learned to be good at beating others at staying sober longer than them no matter the number of glasses. I learned to cool the body with glasses of cold water and frequent visits to the toilet. It was enjoyable, no doubt about that.

Things could have taken me along the road of disaster if I had not been hospitalised for fatigue which the doctor claimed was a rheumatic heart problem. While recuperating at the hospital I was lucky to see a man with outstretched shaking hands and fingers. I asked him what was his problem and was told that it was due to a burnt liver, the result of years of drinking beer, wine and brandy. And the sad truth was there could never be a total recovery from it.

I certainly would not want to be like that man, unable to hold a cup steadily in his hand or even with two hands! Well, I was not even married then and would definitely hope to hold a beautiful girl's hand steadily as I slip a ring into her finger. My awareness of possible consequences have arrived. I knew that problem was not for me. So, I put a stop to drinking alcoholic drinks. Thus, maturity and awareness helped to bring changes to my life. And the change was certainly good, good enough to have me free of medical problems at this age of sixty-five. Thank God for the revelation!