Thursday, January 26, 2012

Yet people nag!

We must never nag, no matter what role we may play in life. It drives away those people we love the most, primarily because people nag the very ones they love.
Some time ago, I visit a family. The wife was friendly, sociable and very attractive. More than just attractive; she was beautiful. Yet, the husband was usually not around. Sometimes it was because he was working but then I was told he came home just to eat and clean up before going out again to meet his friends, to gamble the night away.
As someone always interested in life and the reasons people behave towards others, I enquired further and discovered that the wife nags him most of the time. When that happens, she was like a radio switched on with the battery knocked off only by sleep. Worst than a radio, it was like one of those old record players which have needles that refuses to go to the next track on the vinyl records, repeating the many complains of the past. Such nagging is most annoying and depressing.
I'm not saying that was no reason to complain. There certainly is a reason when the victim of the nagging is addicted to gambling. He uses up all the money for this addiction of his and even uses the children's savings at times. But then, the purpose of complaining about his bad habit is to make him realise that it is becoming a burden to the family and ought to slow down and gradually stop the vice, and nagging will never achieve that purpose. It would only serve to drive him away to his gambling friends.
What should be done? The wife ought to slowly tell her the problems she and the family face due to his gambling besides finding ways to get him to join the family in some form of alternative activities. Slowly get him to understand that the family needs him as much, if not more, than his friends. Well, get his mind away from his addiction.
I believe we all know of another group of people who nag. Parents! Yes, parents, it can be the father or the mother, or even both, and when that happens the poor child has no way to escape such torture unless he has reach the age when he can walk off on his own. I knew a young man who would daily get out to friends' homes and return very late at night just to avoid nagging. It was the easiest way to prevent confrontation between parent(s) and child.
And where do naggers get the habit of nagging? Is it from their parents? Or was it because they were not successfully in communicating their frustrations to the other party and so had to resort to nagging. But since to nag is to fail, should we not discuss with friends and discover better ways to convey our messages or get the other person to comply to our wishes?
As I have discovered even at the age of sixty-five there are still things about ourselves that we might need to improve. So there is still so  much to live for.