Respect ought to be given to the right people.

If you have a great job, an Asian-Pacific region director or something like that in an international company, would you resign from it to take up a much lower paid job in another international company just because in the new job you need no longer have to travel from one city to another and it is situated in the small little town where your old sick mother can be looked after each day after working hours?

I know that not many people would sacrifice that much for a sick old mother. However, I know of at least one young person who did just that and that person is a friend of mine. I am indeed glad to have such a wonderful person as a friend. She is great! No doubt about that! And I have great respect for her.

Now, when I was young, I was taught to respect the elders, the wealthy and the VIPs. Unfortunately, as I grew, I met all of them and after experiencing the truth about some of those people, the respectability ballons burst one after another.

First, I discovered that not all older people ought to be respected. Some just do not deserve any respect. Of course, we ought to respect older people when we first get to know them. After all, with their longer lifespan and more experiences they ought to be better than all of us younger ones. However, respect given ought to be maintained and valued. Actions should indicate the wisdom and righteousness of the persons.

Have I ever told you about the old lady who would meditate with her beads day in and day out, giving such a pious outer appearance? Well, there was this lady I happened to pass on my way out of the house. It was in Penang in which a good many houses in those days house about ten families in one house. The poor could only afford a room in one of those stately houses and there were approximately ten rooms in one such house.

Well, back to that pious lady with her meditating beads. At that moment another person came into the scene and walked past her. As the other person disappeared from view, she opened her mouth and shocked my little soul. She cursed the man who had just gone in. In my innocence I had always presumed that pious people would walk with God and have not the bitterness to curse anybody. Was I awakened to the truth that such a thing could happen. That very day I reshuffled my views of meditating pious old people. I hastened to add, least I am misunderstood, that there are some good pious people in this world. After all, if you have read enough of what I have written, you would have realised that my own uncle who dedicated his life to serve the elephant deity in order to cure the sick, was one old pious man I truly respected.

And from what I have written today, you can see that it is not just some old people but also those younger than me whom I have great respect. So, respect has nothing to do with age. It is the person, what he stands for and how to goes about acting on his own beliefs. (At this point I remember the amusement of someone's face as she received advice from a young doctor. That will be another story.)

In times of trouble, you know who your true friends are.

"You know what happened yesterday, Ai Wei?" she approached me at the bottom of the hill this morning.
"What's that?" Curiously,I waited for her to tell me more.
"Yesterday, I came down from the hill later than you. As I reversed my car slowly out onto the road from the patch of grass I had parked it, a little boy rode his motorcycle right towards my car, hitting one of the tyres. The part through which we pump air in was damaged and air from within whooshed out. There I was with a flat tyre!"
"Oh! How unfortunate!" I exclaimed. "So what did you do?"

Ignoring my question, she went on to tell about the young little boy who was still trying to balance himself on his motorcycle when she came out of her car. The boy was so little, his feet could hardly touch the ground! He was apologising, "Sorry, aunty! Sorry, aunty!" and asking for help at the same time with "Please help me. Please help."

Although she was annoyed at the damaged caused she was also amused that this little fellow was asking for her help to get off the bike. She helped him off his bike and pushed it to one side. As the damage was negligible, although it would be troublesome, she allowed him to start the bike again and sat astride it while it wobbled as though it could drop to one side at any moment. Then, the little boy rode away, leaving this poor friend the problem of going to her workplace.

First, one man she has known for some time came along. He stopped, looked at her tyre when she told him what had happened and then went on to his car to disappear from the scene.

Next came another guy she has been friendly with for some time. Upon hearing her story, he became angry with the no longer present little boy and his parents for allowing the child to ride around so dangerously. He told her she should have caught hold of the boy and if there was no compensation forth-coming, take the boy to the police-station. After the ranting, he also disappeared from the scene without asking the lady how she was to get a lift or help to repair the tyre.

Then there was this man she had always held in great respect. She had always told me about this man's great wealth, his abilities and his goodness. The man did not even come near, just a glance he cast in her direction and was quiet upon being told her problem. He too disappeared from the scene without extending any help.

From what has been written, perhaps someone reading this could have come to the wrong conclusion that this lady was not too friendly with people. That is definitely not the case. I have often seen how she has always been friendly and good towards them.

Well, it is a case where one gets to really know who your true friends are in times of trouble. They certainly knew she needed transport, if not to her place of work, at least to her home or a tyre shop where repairs could be acquired. This is where we can see who are the ones who are genuinely concerned.

Heel pain requires time to heal.

Some three years ago, I jumped down from a higher level to the ground below at the hill and suffered a pain in the heel as my foot came into contact with a sharp hard stone. From that day on I felt a pain in my heel each time I stepped on the ground or moved that foot forward in walking and running.

Since I know how to massage, I did what had to be done which was to warm up the area and massaged it. Each time I bathed I would immerse it into almost unbearable warm water for a few minutes until the foot was red before transferring it into cold water.

As the pain stubbornly refused to go away, I wore three pair of socks to continue my daily exercise at the hill. That, of course, meant I had to get a pair of shoes one size larger. The socks did cushion the heel from hard contact with the solid ground and gradually after about a year the pain went away. As the pain reduced I changed to wearing only two pairs of socks, finally ending that painful period with just a pair.

Of course, not all pain at the heels require such a long period to heal. There have been quite a number of careless moments when I had hurt my foot but they require only a day or two of massage to be fine again. It caused me to realise that certain inflammation takes longer to go off, probably because I did not rest the hurt but aggravate it further by continuing with my walks and runs at the hill.

That was a good weakness on my part as it kept me exercising, strengthening my will against the pain and giving me the good health I still enjoy. I believed we should never be deterred by a little pain as if I had rested and the rest period was a little too long, it could lead to procrastination and laziness in the effort to maintain fitness.

Thank God for that, and today I feel no pain, and am still actively keeping my body trim and in excellent shape. Looking back, it was the right move to carry on despite the pain for two painful years without the wonderful exercise at the hill could have started me downhill to poor health.

Preparation for any event is necessary.

Recently, I attended a talk by a lady too enthusiastic to become a speaker. It would have been well and good, had she prepared herself well for the occasion. Unfortunately, she was far from ready with too little knowledge to dispense to the people who attended her talk. Not only that, she even did not realise that some displayed words had no connection with her talk for the evening. There was certainly weaknesses in her preparation. I believe she has done herself and her future as a speaker on the particular topic more harm than good in her impatience to be known to the public.

To be a really good speaker, one must have sufficient interesting material to keep the audience appreciative of the knowledge divulged to them. Certainly, no ordinary common-sense knowledge would be of great interest to people. Such knowledge must be sufficient to bring about a change in either the thinking or the behaviour of those who attend the function.

Besides knowledge, there is stage personality; how an individual present himself or herself on stage. If it is a talk, is her voice attractive enough to catch the attention of the audience? Her movement and direction of vision are just as important. Does she look at the people to whom she is conveying whatever messages she intends? Does she have to look at pieces of paper to remember the points she expresses? Is she talking or reading to the people? The above points are important in holding the full attention of the people in attendance.

As my aim in this blog is more to share and inspire, I have waited for some time before I write this so that probably no one would know which person or talk I am referring to. Who the person is is of no importance. If she can learn from this and improve, one day she may turn into one of the better known speakers in our midst. That and our hope to be better people in any field are the most important aim.

No one is too young to avoid tragedy.

According to a Chinese newspaper, the Nanyang Siang Pau, a 17-month old boy fell into a washing machine after he had accidentally turned it on. After tumbling into the washing machine he was 'washed' for two minutes before his mother heard his screams and went to the rescue.It was a Pakistani child living with his family in a Hong Kong flat. Fortunately, there was no internal injury, according to scans made by a hospital. But then, what about the trauma? What about the emotional aspect?

I want to record this as a reminder to all of us that everything can become a danger if we ourselves do not exercise care in our everyday lives. Who could have imagined that a child could accidentally start a washing machine? Why, even my grandmother would not know how to use one of these things. And why was the power supply not switched off? Without reading the above story, many would say, it is perfectly safe to leave the power on. But, as is often proclaimed, 'Truth is stranger than fiction' and the above story testifies to it.

And who would have thought a child as young as that could ever think of experimenting with a washing machine by hopping into it, after having to strenuously climb up one of the steep and slippery sides of a washing machine. Unbelievable but it happened! Truth is indeed stranger than any kind of fiction!

Of course, we have come across the more believable entry into our cold box, the refrigerator and possibly be trapped and frozen by that man-made North Pole. We have read of children being crushed by the wheels of the parent's vehicle. All these do and did happen. There is just no doubt about it! And the things that can bring about a tragedy look so harmless, nobody would have thought about it until it happens.

What does this teach us? It clearly shows that anything can become dangerous if we are careless and allow dangerous play or use of it. It also teaches us that fear is necessary in certain matters although some people might claim that we should not put fear into a child. Actually both groups- those against the use of fear and those who uses it are right. It all depends upon the situations involved.

For example, when it comes to playing with things like fire-crackers and fire, we ought to teach the pain and possible suffering from being burnt. We ought to teach caution. We should explain the right way to handle these things. Certain things ought not to be learned from experience. Our children would be better off learning from the experiences of those who have been unfortunate to have undergone it although we are sympathetic towards such unlucky ones.

How do you get your children to be interested.

How can anyone be interested if he does not even know such a thing exists? For a child to be interested in anything, he must first see it, know the beauty of the thing, appreciate that beauty and is given the opportunity to try it. Without all those mentioned, the interest in anything cannot be ignited. It remains unknown, dormant, unrealised and impossible to appreciate.

Take an artist. He must know that there are pencils, brushes, charcoal or pieces of wood or stone. Then he must have a surface to make marks with them and realise he can create something of beauty with them. However, there must also be talent. Without talent he cannot create beauty. However, to discover that talent, he needs the opportunity to use the materials and through their use realise the inborn ability within him. When that realisation is reached, the desire to create is sufficiently great to bring about some form of accomplishment. And should there be appreciation from the parents, relatives and the public, then there is encouragement. Encouragement brings inspiration to greater achievement.

So it is the same with our children. A simple word for all the steps to bring out such possible talent is exposure. As parents, we could give our children as much exposure as possible to everything available in our world. Observe the interest shown by the child, encourage the interest and permit it to go to any level the child may want to climb. Make accessible all necessary materials; as much materials as is affordable. Then, leave the rest to the natural growth of the child's development.

All these might not bring great wealth financially, but the richness of his emotional, physical and mental development will suffice to make him a man of enthusiasm, the happiest and most satisfied, a developed adult who would have found his own niche and has forever a place in life, never worried that he has too much time on his hands, always interested in life. If that is not enough reason to strive to bring out the best in an individual, I don't know what is.

No need to be apologetic. Time is ours to spend happily..

Yesterday evening, to prepare myself for a hike up a hill in Yan, Kedah, I bought some bread from one of the sundry shops in my area. Upon seeing me, the man told me,"Today, there's hardly anything to do. I watched television for a while and did some gardening. Time drags. It was still early afternoon with so much time on my hands." And he, a Chinese on Chinese New Year day, had nothing to do. So, he came to his shop, opened it and stood behind his counter to wait for someone to come so that he could occupy his time serving somebody and talking to someone. His tone of voice was apologetic. He realised he ought to be somewhere enjoying his Chinese New Year.

Actually, there was no necessity to feel bad about doing business or working on a holiday. After all, time is ours to spend as we wish. If we are happy doing it, who is to say it ought not to be done. But then if it is no joy to work at a business and yet have to do it just to kill time, then there is obviously something very wrong somewhere.

That is the reason we should cultivate some kind of hobby and have friends. Thinking about hobbies, I have so many that I could never find the time to enjoy all of them. And when it comes to friends, when one is friendly, there is no worry about having nobody to do things with. Everything about hobbies and friendship is as simple as that.

All of us have an inclination towards something. The more active people are usually interested in some kind of activities, be they indoor or outdoor. The quieter type has a lot of of things they can be involved in too. You can have a game of chess, participation in a discussion group or a sharing group.Perhaps reading or searching the internet is your kind of fun. Whatever it is, do find some kind of interest or hobby for it will come in useful some time.

And some of these activities lead to friendship for people of the same interest flock together to enjoy their likes. And such friends usually meet very often to quench their desire to participate and exchange knowledge in the same activity. So, in some hobbies, knowledge, friends and activities go together.

From what has been written it is without a doubt that humans need activities to live a satisfactory way, to find happiness in being alive. What is the use of being alive if time drags by and leave us uncertain of what to do with it?

Opportunities to learn is always around. And I learned kimchi making.

Thank God I have so many wonderful friends. Friends are the people who make our lives beautiful and interesting. As someone who is always eager to learn new things, was I overjoyed to know that this lady friend was not only beautiful but also one who knows so much. We were shopping for new year things when we discussed the topic of food and she mentioned that she knew how to make kimchi, a Korean food that I had wanted to make for myself for some time but did not because I knew not the exact way it could be done. Kimchi is one of those healthy food that requires no cooking.

And she was so eager to help me make it. So, on one of her holidays from work, we went to a supermarket nearby to buy the ingredients. We searched for two fairly large Chinese cabbages, small onions, garlic, fish sauce, chilli powder, and sweet flour. We found all those ingredients but no sweet flour. She told me it could be replaced with corn flour and a little sugar. According to her, it could even be left out. So, I voted to do without the flour.

Upon reaching my home, she helped me to cut the cabbage lengthwise into into four parts. Then she applied salt in between each leaf of the cabbage. It was left aside for some time; after which the salted cabbage was washed and wrung as dry as possible.

In the meantime, as the cabbage was being salted, the onions were pealed. As for the garlic, they were smashed with the side of the knife and skinned. Having done that, we could blend the onions and the galic together with the chilli. However, I could not find my dry blender and so had to resort to the wet blender which meant that water had to be added. Due to that we had no alternative but to cook the blended ingredients on a slow fire. However, once it reached boiling point, we removed the ingredients from the fire. Then we added in some salt and sugar as well as the fish sauce.

Next, it was applying the blended ingredients to the wrung cabbage, again leaf by leaf so that every part of the cabbage was seasoned with the ingredients. The seasoned cabbage was then put into a glass container and left overnight during which time there is some fermentation. The next morning, the container with the kimchi was put into the refrigerator for two days before it was taken out to be consumed.

The kimchi was delicious, not too spicy and just sweet and saltish enough to please my palate. So, through this friend I have learned how to make delicious kimchi.

Of course, just as some people do not fancy yogurt, there are also those who do not go for kimchi as I soon found out. I offered my sister-in-law some but she immediately refused. She had tasted it once and it was no in favour of the taste. I tried to persuade her to try it as it is done by one beautiful friend who certainly knows how to make good kimchi. Once beaten, twice shy; once dislike, never deny. Well, accept it, it takes all types to make a world.