“That woman only knows how to shout! For no reason whatsoever, she shouted at me for blocking her way. How was I to know she would be coming from that direction? How was I to know?”
If you know and understand what kind of person you are dealing with, then such an outburst would not have taken place. You would have understood that she suffers from mood swings. You would have realized that at certain times of the day her bad temper took over. It just did no matter how good she had been just a short while ago.
I had the advantage of knowing such a lady very early in life. During normal times, she was the best type of person you can ever find on planet earth. She would be very friendly, helpful and her beaming smile could put you in heaven! What a gal she was? There were times when she would bring food to share with her friends.
With her, the mood could swing to the opposite side in an instant. When that happened, dark clouds would rush to the scene and thunder threatened to crash down upon any unaware victim.
Fortunately, I understood her moodiness well and could recognize the symptoms of change easily. Whenever the change occurred, I got out of her way to a safe distance. With that, I remained her good friend until I was given a transfer away from there.
People used to ask me why she never shouted at me. I told them that, by that time, they should have known her type. They should have been able to see the dark clouds in her demeanour when her mood changed. All they had to do was to leave and stay out of the lightning that would flash forth.
Understand her and you need not feel any antagonism against her. After all, she herself is a victim of emotions not within her control. Be compassionate towards her fate. Given a choice, she would not have wanted it this way! Nobody asked to be like that!
“I don’t want to go with him! He counts every cent he spends!” One of my annoyed friends told me.
Well, what was said was perfectly true. Yet, I did not fault Tan.
I got to know Tan in 1971. We would go out and at the end of the day he would want all the money he had spent divided exactly by two. I had no quarrel with that as it was only right that I pay for my part of the trip and enjoyment. However, for whatever money I took out, he would not offer to share the expenses. That was his calculative habit.
Then, one day, another teacher from his hometown, told me that there was a time Tan sold ice-cream each day to earn his pocket money as he came from a very poor family. In the early 1950’s, each ice-cream sold at five cents each merely fetched him a profit of one cent.
Thus, every cent counted. The past was still with him and he could not let go of that unfortunate period. He was the victim of his past.
When we understand Tan, we realize how fortunate we are. We are blessed with such good fortune. We ought to sympathize with people like Tan. The horrible past remained a burden. What a relief if he could just leave that burden behind!
In fact, it is actually quite easy to overlook such an insignificant characteristic of Tan. He was a very friendly, helpful person who never harms anyone. In his own way, with his jokes and easy-going manner, he is very good company. He was a part of my life for a good number of years as I liked his sincerity in everything he did.
Being able to mix with whoever one encounters in life is important to our happiness. We should teach our beloved children to understand others through relating the various types of people and their peculiarities.
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