Let us have better understanding.

For those people who have not read my previous posts, I wish to inform that I am neither a Christian nor a Muslim. I am interested in this 'Allah'issue out of a desire to search for truth and achieve a better understanding.

Dr. Mohd Zaidi Ismail, a Senior/Fellow Director of IKIM wrote in 'Understanding the 'Allah' controversy' that 'the established and verified position of the Muslims has always been that the term is not an Arabic derivative but is itself revealed by The One and Only God to humankind through his chosen messengers, Who knows Himself what His Name truly is and without Whom so revealing, man would still be in the dark as to how to correctly call and address Him.'

When Dr. Zaidi talks of messengers of God, I presume he must be having Jesus, Abraham and Muhammad in mind. As I understand, Christians in Arabic countries have been using 'Allah' before the coming of Islam. The use of the word has since then been in their bible until this very day without any conflict as the Muslims in those countries knew that that was so.

When the English-speaking people became Christians, they must have translated the word 'Allah' for God.

As according to what Muslims have told me; that Jesus is the first of the prophet and Muhammad is the last of the prophets', then, it has to be accepted that Christians and muslims pray to the same One and Only God. The only difference is the buildings of worship and their names as well as the translated English word for 'Allah'.

As Dr. Mohd Zaidi Ismail has told us that 'Allah' is the Name of The One and Only God to humankind through his chosen messengers, who could be Jesus, Abraham and muhammad, so that humankind is no longer in the dark as to how He should be addressed, then, is it not right that the same God prayed to by the Christians should correctly address Him by the name 'Allah' which was brought to all mankind through his chosen followers?

As such, can we say that there should be no controversy and all mankind who pray to the same One and Only God, without exception, should be allowed to address Him by the very name He told His chosen messengers to bring to all mankind? Should mankind follow what has been ordained by God and not the whims and fancies of humans?

Let all brothers and sisters of God be united and not find controversy in human beliefs which can lead so many astray. Let us return to God and achieve whatever Good we can do so that we can face Him with pride and love for having been true to His words.

What's in a name. A rose by any name is just as sweet.

Earlier I have written about names; about problems and opportunities that names might bring as well as how and why I chose the names for my children. Names has its importance as the wrong name could bring on a lot of teasing, mischief and misery, especially among children while the right name can take a person to the right places. Read about it in ‘Names can bring misery posted on 1st March 2009, How children's names could be chosen posted on 2nd March 2009 and Names can bring opportunities published on 3rd March, 2009.

When it comes to my name, the person who does not know me would think I am a female. You see, among the Mandarin speaking group, many believe it’s a name for a woman. So, sometimes I receive letters addressed to ‘Miss Ong Ai Wei’. Fortunately, it did not turn me into a gay. I suppose I’m just too rough and manly for that.

You know, once,a friend had some wigs and she showed them to me. I did try on the friend's wigs and a look at that mug of mine with those straight or permed long hair was enough to drive out any romantic feelings any lady could have had for me. Since then, this fellow prefers all things manly, things most women would be more attracted to.

Coming back from my rambling, my name is actually good. You see, I have a fail-safe last name. In Chinese ‘Ong’ means good luck. ‘Fung shui’ masters, those who teach us how to arrange things in our houses to bring in luck, have no luck with me, for I am always ‘Ong’ (lucky) with a capital ‘O’. My house has at least one ‘Ong’ around.

And my middle name is ‘Ai’ which means love. So, love is always in the air wherever I go.

‘Wei’ just means generous and I think it just suits me fine. As one lovely girlfriend I was once close with during my youth told me, “You are just too generous. You know, Ai Wei; you are generous to a fault.” I did not mind that as it has helped made my life wonderful. Of course, I can be stingy too. It depends. Otherwise, I would not be good at managing myself, would I?

Then, there was this beautiful lady friend who wondered how she should call me. She told me calling me ‘Wei’ would sound rude as that’s how some people using Mandarin language would rudely address those whose names are not known to them. You know, someone would shout out, "Wei! Wei! What're you doing in my office. Get lost!" and that 'Wei' might reply, "Hey, you think I don't have a name, hah?" Well, in my mind, I thought it would be nice if she could call me ‘Wo de Ai’ which means ‘My beloved.’ However, sentimental dreamer, I might be but fool, I am not. So, I did not venture to voice that.

Then, at The Art of Living Centre in Sungai Petani where a good number of people spoke Mandarin, many found my first name a mouthful. So I told those beloved folks, “Just call me Highway.” They found that easy as it was part of their vocabulary, having talked about using the highway so very often. So, there, this man's Highway. The Highwayman? No, no! No way, just Highway will do. I presume they do not know the meaning of that. Oh, God!

Nevertheless, there's no need to worry. Be it ‘Ai Wei’, ‘Highway’ or ‘Highwayman’, eventually, when they know me well enough, they will know it is the person himself that counts. No matter how pretty or ugly a name is, it is just a sound that we attach to a person. We like someone because of his/her character and qualities, not because of a name.

Names can bring opportunities.

Well, allow me to tell you the story of a good natured, usually smiling yet very bad-tempered young teacher. How contradictory can I be in my description of this man! This man admitted that he found it difficult to control his temper which can flare so easily that those who know this part of his character do not dare to trifle with him. Yet, despite this, most times he has been found to be so good-natured and jovial with people of the same social standing as himself because he had acquired the habit of being so in the face of cheeky adults and teachers who often meet him with ‘Ask me.’. You see, his name is Azmi. So as to counter such mischief, he always answered friends and colleagues who called out ‘Ask me!’ with ‘Sorry, no questions.'

Azmi had reacted positively to that cheekiness. He was quite happy with his name and his fun-loving colleagues and friends as he realized that it had made him popular among them with his smiling reply of ‘Sorry, no questions.’. Furthermore, according to him, this had helped him to suppress or overcome his terrible temper and helped cultivate the new likable personality everyone was delighted with. You see, opportunities to be a better man are everywhere. Azmi saw the mischief in the creativity of his friends and put that opportunity to his advantage.

Well, almost everything can be turned into an advantage. In my previous posting, you must have read of my sons’ surname being a source of fun to students in a residential science school. My sons could have become irritated with the constant teasing and ostracism or enmity could have been the result. Fortunately, being brought up to exercise restraint and to be of good nature, they turned to their tormentors with smiles and waves that won them friendship and popularity. With such experiences behind them, they are able to mix very well with others and are able to conduct themselves correctly in many kinds of situations.

The opportunities brought by people's names are found in articles and websites.
There was an English article in which a judge bears the name of Justice. According to writers who commented in ‘Dear Abby’, a website; there was a professional landscape artist by the name of Ross Weed. Then, there was this funeral director named Graves. A Dr. Needle gave injections in his clinic. We are told a college disciplinary dean’s name was Dick Justice. And in Texas, there lived a dentist with the name of Toothacker. Was it a coincidence that these people had such appropriate names? What do you think? Or did they take on the jobs most suitable for their names? Did their names pave the way to their jobs? Let’s hear what you have to say.

How children's names could be chosen.

Having seen the suffering and embarrassment the wrong sounds and meanings of names in languages other than our own can bring children and adults, I determined not to allow that to happen to my own children. (Even with such a precaution, my surname was made fun of! Well, some children are really creative.)

When it comes to the surname, nothing can be done. For my family’s middle name, my generation uses ‘Ai’ while my children’s and nephews’ generation uses‘Jin’. You see, we use a saying, each word of the saying used one after another generation after generation. This helps us to trace our ancestors as well as know whether someone is related to us.

This is how I choose my children’s names. I use a telephone directory which contains practically all possible names needed. The names I choose depends upon it popularity as well as its meaning.

I found the name ‘Seng’ so popular, easy to pronounce and remember. Furthermore, ‘Jin Seng’ is also the name of a wonderful plant that is strong, tough, valuable and so popular that it is known to almost every country in the world. When it comes to the Chinese meaning, I was told ‘Jin Seng’ can mean successful person or human wall; strong, steady and successful. What more can one ask for!

Then, using the same source for names I searched for a suitable word for my second son, Jin Ho. ‘Ho’ in Chinese means river. A river is a source of water, fish and life. A man of great resources! It is even the name of an association! Where can there be a better name?

Each time, I checked with my Malay and Indian friends to see if their names carry other meanings or connotation in their language. According to them there was none.

So far, although those creative Malay children did ‘Ong. Ong, ong’ their frog’s call, my children took it good-humouredly and in fact were popular with them as a result of it.

Names can bring misery.

As a child I have seen a good number of cruelties committed by children. There are children who would take the opportunity to have fun at the expense of another poor kid who happens to have a name others can ridicule or make fun of.

Thus, it is of great importance that parents choose names which are right for their children. So, what are the names that ought to be avoided? What names can bring misfortune or humiliation to our children? In order to choose wisely, first think of all the languages used in our country besides international languages. This is important as what is good in one language can be vulgar or bad in another language. And all these languages have to be considered as we live among people with all sorts of languages.

Whether a name is right or not depends upon two factors, the meaning and the sound. In a particular language, a name may have good meaning and sounds beautiful but in another language it may sound like some vulgar word or carries a bad meaning.

In Malaysia, for example, we have four major languages which are English, Malay, Mandarin and Tamil besides the numerous Chinese dialects. A Chinese name may sound like the name of the female private part in Malay. Another Chinese name may be a vulgar Malay word usually used to scold someone. The sounds are so similiar!(Well-known, real people have such names. As such the names are not given.) A nasty person may purposely mispronounce them to sound exactly like the vulgar Malay words. In certain circumstances, it can cause a child to be made fun of or an adult to be embarrassed.

‘Kay Poh’ in Hockien, a Chinese dialect means ‘busybody’. A person with such a name could find some misery when they are young with some fun-searching children.
When it comes to the Chinese, there are those who believe that a weak child can survive better if they are named after an animal. So, we have a number of ‘Ah Too’ (pig) and ‘Ah Kow’ (dog) among our friends. Sometimes, they too had their share of problems. Even the surname, ‘Ong’ which my sons and I carry have been a source of fun for some Malay children. I did not realise that my surname ‘Ong’ sounded like a frog’s call to its mate until my children had to live in a hostel in the secondary school, Sekolah Menengah Sains Pokok Sena.

Yes, even surnames which cannot be replaced, can be a source of fun because people are creative. Take for example ‘Teh’ and ‘Tan’, the surnames of a loving couple. Together with some friends, Tan was very silent, just listening contentedly. The other friends urged him to give some comments. When none was forthcoming, another friend remarked, ‘Bo Teh, toe lo ay Tan?’ meaning ‘Without pressing where can there be a sound?’

Surnames cannot be changed. Nevertheless, we have to choose our children’s names carefully.