"Aarrrgh....! Look! I need it!" What?

You can only talk when there is some listening, right? Otherwise, you must be wrong somewhere in the head. You would not be striving hard for good grades in a certificate unless you know someone is going to look at it someday. We would not be choosing suitable, beautiful clothes if we do not want others to see us in them. We comb our hair in a certain fashion; we colour our lips strikingly red; we wear all kinds of jewellery and ornaments just to make ourselves attractive so that others will pay attention to us.

You have got it! We need attention! So does our children. Many of the tantrums children throw are messages to parents to heed them and their needs, one of which is attention.

I know a child who would throw a tantrum each time his younger brother took his toys to play. Since this elder son has a lot of toys to play with, why does he exhibit such a behavior? Actually, it is a message to the parents. He feels he has been neglected since the arrival of the younger child. Almost all attention has been given to the younger one. So, the only way to attract the parents to himself is to make some noise. The fact is each time he throws a tantrum, he does get attention although it is a negative type. This negative attention reinforces the action of throwing tantrums. Soon, such behavior becomes his habit. So, the parents claim it is his nature to be so bad tempered. This judgement on the part of the parents fixes the behavior and the child himself believes he is that type of person. Even his parents say so, so how can he change?

Sometimes pupils misbehave in the classroom and teachers think of a thousand and one reasons but seldom get the right answer to the problem.

Pupils are usually problematic because they are bored with the teaching or the work in the classroom. There are at least two reasons they could be bored.

One of them is that they are unable to follow the lesson due to their low proficiency level in the language medium. They cannot understand what the teacher is explaining. Even if it is in their mother tongue, the level is too high. Without being able to understand, how interested can the child be?
Imagine yourself being put into a Sanskrit class when your proficiency of that language is either low or zero! You would be merely hearing sounds that carry no meaning. Can you sit and listen quietly for forty minutes, an hour, a day, five days a week, about forty weeks a year without giving up? I can tell you this; it is torture! So, how can we blame the child for not paying attention?

In fact, when I taught English and my class consisted of students who had very low proficiency, I always told the senior English Language Officer and the Principal that I would not be following the syllabus. They were usually worried about what the Federal Inspectorates would say. I told them I would be responsible if there were any complains. I did not wish to follow a syllabus which would only bring frustration to my students and cause them to misbehave. I would go down to their level and from there help them to reach whatever level they were capable of. We must always teach from the known to the unknown.

Unless the above is done, the students in a weak class have no way out of the boredom. As frustration at not learning anything sets in, mischief or some kind of distraction created by them would be the only other way out. They have to create the mischief or die of boredom. The mischief is a method of drawing attention to their problem. And it works, in a negative manner, for them as the teacher gives them some attention in the process of scolding them.

Unfortunately, this kind of attention can never bring students and teachers together. It only leads to greater misunderstanding of the children’s needs and more antagonism between the two parties.

As we understand that mischief, tantrums or anger shown by children are ways to attract attention from adults, we ought to understand where they have been neglected and have the courage to fulfill their needs.

It is important to give our children positive attention. Such attention will bring us closer to our children.