Listening is more important than talking.

This morning, at the hill, Grace told me about the couple who would talk and talk practically non-stop, giving her no opportunity at all to comment on the topic. Well, it was a one-way communication and she was forced to be the listener.

Of course, it is not bad to be a listener. In fact, very early in my life, while journeying three hundred and something miles to Kuala Lumpur to attend the motivation seminar by Lawrence Chan, I learned the importance of listening well.

However, today i wish to concentrate on this problem of some people who could get them into problems with others. It is the strong desire to talk, talk and talk, sometimes repeating the information already given previously. When something is repeated, the listener gets bored. So the talker is boring to his friends. Nobody would want that, I believe. Yet, it is an unconscious urge to listen to the person's own voice and also prove that he is an authority on the topic.

What the speaker does not realise is that when someone dominates too much and most of the things are the same old stories, everyone already knows them and are not willing to ache their ears having to tolerate the boring sounds emitting from the source. This is especially so when the listeners are given no opportunity to take part of the conversation.

It is not just the repetition that we dislike. In order for such people to last a long time talking endlessly, they put in the smallest uninteresting detail into their talk, explaining extensively what is sometimes so obvious, expected and certain.

And what is the result? As expected, most people would avoid such a talker. Excuses would quickly be given to avoid or escape from further verbal torture. Only a very few would tolerate the person and even those few would complain and at the earliest moment disappear from the scene.

I have made a study of such people. I have found that the problem arises from some causes. One of them is a habit copied from the family members. Yes, parents who talk too much or refuses to listen to other people's points of view have a great influence on their children who imitates them and become just like them. So parents ought to be careful not to turn into such long-winded, one-sided talkers.

And old people, me included, have that tendency to elaborate more than others. Especially so when the children have been away for some time and the desire to chat with them is so great. Right! So what can be done. We ought to realise our long-winded talking and do something about it. Realisation is the beginning of change. When we realise something has become undesirable, then we change and learn to allow others to voice their thoughts and help to have an interchange of feeling and ideas rather than to have a lecturer and his/her listeners.

And there are those who needs appreciation or a raise in self-esteem. These need to show others how much they know, to impress others with their knowledge. Of course, self-esteem is important to all of us. So is being appreciated. However, this can still be done without having to dominate so much as to prevent others having their say.

Eventually, the choice is our own. To know who we are, to see if we are the ones who lecture all the way and whether we feel everything is fine. Then, if we find that we do dominate, we must choose whether to change or not. Change is not difficult as realisation helps pave the way to such a change. This part is important as I have come across people who cannot see any problem with their ways despite someone pointing it out to them. Well, if they are happy as they are, we ought to wish them all the best for eventually everyone is the master of his/her own fate.

What has sex got to do with it?

Last night, as I lay down to rest, the thought of my last posting returned. I was happy with what i had written as I believe it could help people to understand the needs of growing children to face the their world. Even as I thought of that, my memory went back to the year 2005 when I taught in a rural primary school.

I remember a time when one lady teacher in that rural school asked me why there were so many rapes, child rapes and incest among certain people. She told me of grandfathers who rape their granddaughters and of fathers who rape their daughters. She was pained that such rapes could happen especially when the men are supposed to be the guardians of the girls.

For a few seconds I was silent, uncertain as to what to do, to proceed and tell her what I thought or to remain secured in my silence or give a noncommittal reply.

However, since I found this teacher very open-minded and truly concerned about such incidents, I told her that the problem could lie with too much emphasis place on the separation of the sexes and the idea implanted in children that being in the company of a person of another sex must have some connection with sex. Those who study psychology would know that such indoctrination would certainly influence the thinking and subsequently the actions of the people indoctrinated.

In the previous writing, I have gone into a certain aspect of separation of the sexes. Today I would like to add that it could open the door to possible excitement and pleasure just getting to know a new companion of the opposite sex. Of course, with those youngsters whose parents are more liberal and have given their children the chance to mix around, such feelings may not be aroused as being with the opposite sex has become a normal everyday happening. however, for someone who has been restricted from mixing around and knowing members of the opposite sex, the person's first venture out of restriction may open door to danger, firstly from the excitement of meeting for the first time somebody of the opposite sex and the feeling being heightened by the sex indoctrination concerned with such a meeting. With 'shackles' gone and the first taste of freedom as well as the inability to judge the other person and the situation well enough, caution is thrown to the wind and the disastrous result might to read in a newspaper report of 'Girl raped on her way to a job.'.

When ideas of sex is ever prevalent upon the sight of a female body, be it a sleeping granddaughter or a daughter, danger of arousal and loss of self-control is always present. Self-control and self-respect are the two most important factors in the discipline of a person. Without these two factors, except for the presence of the law and another human, what is there to prevent such a disaster. Yet, it happens from time to time. How often is not of interest to me for where I am concerned it must never happen. If we cannot trust or depend upon a parent or guardian to protect us, what kind of safety or security can we hope to turn to? None!

Well, I did think about over-covering of the human body and having people believe that that exposure of parts of the body would lead to sex. Certainly, those people who associate the exposed face with the sex act will feel and act as trained to respond to the stimuli. I personally think that the common sight of hands, legs, face and hair would remove the undesirable feelings or sexual feelings that could be aroused through association. Well, when I see exposed faces everywhere I only have labels such as beautiful, handsome, rugged, pretty, cute, rounded, sharp and the numerous other possible descriptions for the face. I never associate face with the sex act. Similarly, a gynaecologist has seen exposed parts of the female body, yet, in the labour room, he is only thinking of child-birth.

Of course. if a religion really forbids the exposure of any part of the body, who am I to say otherwise, for I am not God, not a prophet, not even a member of any known religious body. I am just a monotheist, a strong believer of the God who created us all and I am proud of it.

Children look towards their parents for encouragement.

A child would put full enthusiasm into everything of interest. In their enthusiasm, they concentrate on their project without thoughts for their surroundings, their clothes and the condition of their appearance. Thus, it is not surprising to find a child so involved in something that he/she does not bother about time. The child will go on and on with his/her interest.

This is something parents ought to understand to appreciate the cause of their ignoring calls to dinner and so forth which is interference to the child’s present time joy. Understand that the child is putting in one hundred percent interest in his effort. Do not expect him to stop immediately. Go and get his attention slowly and gradually, then tell him/her about his/her next project. Get the child to turn his interest towards another direction.

As the child puts in effort into whatever is being done, clothes are bound to be dirtied, wet and crumpled. Even the hair, face and body may get some nature’s colours and pastes. So, if possible, keep the dirt and bacteria from him/her, not keep him/her away from the contaminants. Meaning that if the child plays in a clean environment; a well-kept room or hall perhaps, then the chances of him or her getting dirtied can be very slim. However, let the child play on sandy, clayey or loamy ground and we can expect more changes of clothes.

Now, the above would warn parents about the things they can expect and so not go into a rage over such matters. Do not grumble or scold about the messiness of his/her efforts. Give him a smile instead and get him or her to bathe more often. Encourage all his/her efforts for, good or bad, clean or dirty, artistic or not, they are all sincere efforts at achievement. Never judge the work done by our adult standards. If we do that, the child does not stand a chance to feel confident to carry on. Remember that children learn through such play. They learn about things around them, the effect of such things on their hands, the feel and texture and, even more important, the appreciation of their work. Without adult appreciation, there can be no encouragement to continue putting in effort. So never ever dampen such efforts.

To understand the importance of this, adults should stop and think of the feelings felt each time someone appreciates their efforts, be it games, fun or work. If you know these feelings, then you understand how vital appreciation is to the development of any child.

So, the next time your child were to scrawl or drawl something on a piece of paper, colour it with crayons or colour pencils, do ensure that you find the time to stop at least for a short moment whatever you are doing to take a look at his/her work, smile lovingly to him or her and show your appreciation of the effort. Be grateful that your child is trying something and learning in the process.

I stress on this because of the numerous times busy parents would shoo away their children with their seemingly unimportant piece of art work or small piece of self-made craft. Of course, you may not be impressed with his work as you are an adult but that is your child’s wholehearted attempt at expression or creativity in a piece of child art. Know that those few minutes of appreciation, now and then, each and every day can bring so much much needed encouragement for your child’s progress in his growth of self-esteem, a self respect which would give him/her the confidence to learn even more and develop positively as he or she transforms from a child to a teenager into an adult with a sense of self worth that would hold him/her in good stead in every sphere of life.

So do stop to appreciate whenever a child approaches with something he/she had made. The fact that this child approaches to show it must mean that he/she have to be looking for some assurance that his/her efforts are worthwhile and his/her learning process can continue with confidence.

Know what appreciation can do.

There are millions of lovers and married couples in this world. Some are rich while others are poor. Some are happy in their relationship while others are not. Who are those who are happy? Is there a clear division between the married and unmarried? Are the rich any happier than the poorer couples? Which couple is the happiest?

The above questions hold answers to eternal bliss in a love relationship. However, before we start, let us understand that sufficient money and daily life sustenance are essential to any love relationship but, in no way, does it guarantee happiness.

For that, we have to ask anybody what he/she needs other than the bare essentials of life; such as food, water and shelter. Humans need self-esteem. Self-esteem is the nutrient of our soul. Without self-esteem, there is a feeling of worthlessness, no self worth. Useless! Ask those who want to commit suicide and they will tell you, his/her life is no longer worth the living. Somewhere along the way, the self-esteem has been destroyed. And when self-esteem goes to an all-time low, a feeling that life is of no value creeps in.

So, how do we build up and sustain our self worth. It is through the love of parents and friends. Parents makes us feel wanted, needed and loved. With that our self-esteem grows. Thus, children who grow up without parents' expressions of daily love lack self-esteem and this is seen in their lack of confidence.

Later, through our achievements and successes, we develop further our self esteem. We know our worth and capability. We are positive in our attitude towards challenges in life.

If our own self esteem is strong, challenges that manage to batter our self esteem every once in a while, will not put us down for long, unlike those who have a weak self-esteem. Because of our knowledge of our own worth, we are able to sustain our self-esteem despite the odds we face. However, that does not mean that we need no further assurance of our capability to sustain it.

Sometimes, we face failures in life which come one after another, slowly but gradually whittling away our self-esteem. In the face of such storms, who can help us retain our confidence? In a relationship, it is our lover or other half in a marriage. how is that achieved?

Well, appreciation is very essential in stabilising the confidence of a partner. Appreciation is easy. It is merely telling the partner your liking for certain qualities or the gratitude for whatever the partner has done for you each and everyday. This appreciation reminds the partner that someone cares, needs and wants him/her; that his/her existence is important to his/her well-being. This is how one's self-esteem can be boosted.

Criticism is the very opposite of appreciation. It can destroy one's ego together with whatever relationship that exists. There, always show appreciation in any relationship. Never criticise! If there is nothing better to be said, just stopper the mouth and remain quiet until the calm returns.

Interest and Awareness is essential.

The other day, a relative of mine watched the news on television. Oh! How horrible! The previous Prime Minister’s wife is dead. Shocked and unable to contain the news further she told a friend at the morning market.
Later, this relative commented about that Prime Minister’s wife’s death to her husband. Upon hearing that, the husband told her she had heard the news wrongly. It was the previous Prime Minister’s wife’s mother who had died.
“Oh, my gosh!” she exclaimed. “Are you sure about that?” she enquired.
“Of course, I’m sure of what I heard,” the husband told her.
“Then what I told my friend is wrong. How embarrassing!” she put her hands to her head in despair.

This relative has the habit of listening to unattentively to the news. That was not the first time she got the news wrong. The trouble is that she did not give the news reader her full attention. And she is always so eager to tell others of what she had heard that she often beat the news reader to the end of the particular news. As a result she often jumps to her own conclusion before the news reader could finish the sentence on the news.

There are two possibilities when such a consequence can come about. The person could be not fully aware of what had been said or she had already speeded ahead and formed her own conclusions.Both can lead to getting wrong facts or knowledge.

When it comes to children, they ought to be made to realize that attention in class is important. Discuss with them the reason some people seem to remember or understand things easier or better than others although most children in the class are of almost the same average intelligence. In fact many clever scientists and great intelligent people were once deemed to be weak in their studies.

So, we have to get our children to realise that the difference lie in the interest of the persons in their studies. When the people are interested, they pay greater attention to what is being said. They are aware of what is being explained. Awareness of the logic of the subject brings greater understanding and understanding needs no great memory to retain the subject in the mind. And certainly, they can never get their facts wrong.

However, it is possible that we need to study or understand certain things which are of no interest to us. However, this does not means we cannot generate interest in the topic. Yes, when interest does not come naturally, we have to generate it for our own benefit.

To say that was easy. Right. But, it is easy. All we need to generate that interest is to realize the importance of that particular subject in us, in our future, in our lives. Take for example, the English Language. Since we know it is the international language important enough to make the difference between a good career in an international corporation and a position in a small local company, it would be a great incentive to have us put in effort to master it. That’s right. To generate interest that does not come naturally, there has to be a sufficiently good incentive. So, look for such an incentive.

Sometimes, the incentive may not be direct. It can come through wanting to impress somebody. Although indirect, it serves its purpose, sometimes even better than a direct incentive. A girlfriend can be the push for a guy to do even better just as a boyfriend can be such an energetic force to propel a girl to excellence. Overcoming fate-placed obstacles could be other possible incentives. Dale Carnegie, Napolean Hill, Norman Vincent Peale and many others who have looked into the success stories of many successful people and found that fate-dealt poverty, loss of a beloved and even failures to be incentives to strive for a successful future.

So, incentives are actually what is created by our own mind. For example, if we are born poor, we could use that unfortunate situation as an excuse to remain excusably poor. However, we could also refuse to accept the situation and put in every possible effort to effect change. ( In my previous postings, I have at least one student who did just that. Last week, as the regional manager of a big corporation, he came to my house to invite me to his wedding.He is what I would call a self-made man. He did it despite the odds.)

Enough said about incentives.. With incentives, interest is ever present. Studying of any subject becomes easy.

When a child pays attention in class, there is very little need for revision or tuition. There is more time for rest and recreation, resulting in better development of the child.We have a happier child with greater achievement when there is full attention in class. The self-esteem is also great as teachers like such children not only for their attention but also for the response to questions and results in examination.

As can be seen from the relative’s inattentiveness to the news, paying attention becomes a habit and such habits are beneficial in every aspect of our lives.

However, we need the ego to improve ourselves.

In my previous postings, I have told of the times I fell or crashed while on my motorcycle and it was all because of my strong ego. I was the one. I am still the one. To show the world how good I was, be it on a motorbike or a tall tree, my ego was willing to risk my neck and my life.

There were also the times I almost got into deep trouble, like the time when I had an encounter with the gangsters. Fortunately, I had my strength and courage to support my ego.

True, ego can bring us problems and misunderstandings. However, it is also important to have an ego. Without the ego, none of us would ever be anything. Without the ego, there would not have been any pride. Without pride in oneself, we would not desire to be the best in whatever we do. Without the ego, we would not bother to overcome obstacles and prove to ourselves that we are just as good as any other. Without my ego, there would not be me; Ong Ai Wei would not be the adventurous, hardworking, caring, loving guy who is always game enough to face whatever challenges life throws at him. Those who know me would know this to be true while those who doubt this cannot have known me well enough. See, how egoistic I can be. And I believe it is good as without it, I would not still be striving to be the best at my age.

Looking back, I was an excellent teacher, having all, with not even one failure, my art and craft students pass the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia art and craft paper every year. Though I did not get 100% passes in the SPM English paper, the percentage during all those years was something I could be proud of. And when it came to gymnastics, during the late sixties and early seventies, my first school team, the St. Michaels Secondary School team from Alor Star was the champion in Kedah state every year I was their coach. When it came to Sekolah Menengah Tengku Ismail from which I retired, the team was constantly in the first or second placing in the state.
All my efforts and training were powered by my ego.

I am what I am today because of my ego. Without my ego and self-esteem, I would not have stayed the course which was full of obstacles and pain.

So, although we have to beware of the problems our ego may lead us to, we should also let the ego power us to the greater things all of us are capable of as we remove all boundaries that may hinder our direction to better things to come. What I have in mind is control and guidance of the ego towards the right direction, the right path through right decisions.

Teeth care must start early.

A set of good teeth does not merely concern health, it also leads to good proper pronunciation and confidence.

Proper pronunciation and speech is definitely essential to clear communication which is necessary for success in anyone’s life.

Babies need toys to be put into their mouths when teething. The right toys ought to be given. So, the question here is, “Are those toys dangerous or poisonous to the baby?”

Certainly, small toys which can be easily or accidentally swallowed must not be given. A choke due to swallowing such a toy could be fatal. Thus, parents should look for suitable , washable soft toys which can never be accidentally swallowed, hurt the gums or an emerging tooth.

When we think of poison it could come from the material or the paint used. I have read some time ago about a child swallowing one of those materials which can increase in size when it comes into contact with liquids. When it swells up, the possibility of blockage of the food canal or throat can be disastrous. Paint with lead content can lead to lead poisoning.

Although there would be a second set of teeth, it is important to look after the first set well as gaps in the teeth can be ugly and invite ridicule. Should a child suffer from such cruel acts, you can be assured it would be difficult to get the victim to open his mouth to read loudly, give verbal answers and speak up on any topic in class, effectively preventing any practice in oral communication. Opportunities to perform and participate well in class will be lost. Lost is the chance for much development. So is the child’s self-esteem, lost due to his pronunciation being corrected too often and his words being unclear and thus difficult to catch or comprehend what he/she might have said.

So, a set of good teeth is important. So, ask the dentists and their nurses what is the latest on care of a child’s teeth.

Sometimes, when a child’s teeth are too well looked after, the second new tooth may want to appear before the tooth occupying its place has decayed or dropped out. Usually, in such circumstances, the child would feel discomfort and pain. Attention to your child’s complaint will alert you to this problem. So, parents must be aware of this possibility and take the child to the dentist to have the existing tooth pulled out so that the new emerging tooth have space to grow. Otherwise, it might just push its way out bending slightly to the sides, the front or the back. The tooth will not be straight.

Possibly, you have seen people whose teeth need to be straighten with wires for a fairly long period of time. Is that painful? Well, painful or not, it certainly is, initially at least, uncomfortable.So, what should be done to prevent this. The emerging second set of teeth must be given appropriate attention to ensure that there is sufficient space for them to grow in order to grow straight and well-positioned.

Needless to say, a good set set of dazzling white teeth is a great asset to any individual.

Do not pay for the wrongs of others.

The young man felt cheated. He believed he had been overcharged. He was angry. The words of the seller did not pacify him; it aggravated the situation. The young man could not contain his anger any longer. He forgot all he was taught about its control. There was a fight and the young man won. It ended with the death of the seller.

Though the seller was not faultless; for he had instigated the attack; the young man had to bear the responsibility of this death. He was sentenced to six years for manslaughter.

The young man had to pay for his anger and lost six years of freedom. The pain was not felt only by him. His parents suffered too. So did his siblings. And it all started with the wrong caused by the seller. The seller, after cheating him, had abused the power of words to put salt into the wound he had caused.

Therefore, it is important for parents to teach their children to control their thoughts and emotions, especially the destructive anger that has caused so much tragedy among humans.

How do we do it? As I have ilustrated before, the world is our audio-visual aids. Each time, anger brought misfortune to some poor souls, tell the children about it. Stress on the consequences of such acts of anger. Use the newspapers, magazines and the internet, their stories, pictures and videos to show that the people who wrong us would not suffer as much as ourselves.

In the above story, for example, the dead person stopped suffering the moment he died. The young man's suffering had to continue regretting not just during his years in prison but also forever, perhaps. He would return to his world as a convicted person. Would it be easy for him to find a living? Would it warp his mind sufficiently to have no opportunity to find peace of mind? Perhaps the pain and suffering might have to go on till his own death.

In any anger, whether it results in tragedy or not, the one who allows the anger to fester in his mind will be the one who hurts himself. The person who caused the anger would have forgotten that incident the moment the person whose heart he had pierced with hurting words had gone out of sight.

Sometimes, hurt comes from mere words. And there are people who are sadistic enough to enjoy angering others. To prevent such hurts, always remember that everyone else has the right to his own opinions. When we adopt such an attitude, others' words can never ever pierce into our hearts.

Others have the right to their opinions. That does not mean that we are any less better than what we are. Our self esteem, our value of ourselves, will stand in good steed. With a strong self-esteem, no words can reduce our own values! Our children must be taught that.

So, teach our children how to look at such barbed words and prevent anger so that they do not have to pay for the wrongs of others.

Praises.

On Sunday, 7th June 2009, one of the greatest musician, singer and song-writer, Kenny Rankins, died of lung cancer at the age of 69.

He was still actively involved in his passion of recording songs this year. There is a part written by Associated Press writer, John Rogers, which interested me as a parent and teacher.

According to John Rogers, “Rankin, who signed with Decca Records while still in his teens, once said his music career really began in the fourth grade when he sang "O Holy Night" in a school Christmas play and his teacher walked up to him afterward, patted him on the head and said, "Kenneth, that was lovely." "She set me on the path in music that I find myself on today," he said.”

The man who was much respected by fellow musicians was set on the path to songs, recordings and song-writing by the praise and appreciation of a teacher.

Do we realise the feelings of a child being praise and patted lovingly on the head? Praise and a pat does not need money to give but they are invaluable; priceless! It’s such beautiful actions that bring a glow to the hearts of the receivers. And the receiver may remember the giver for the rest of his/her life.

Words are powerful tools in aiding a youngster towards his/her future. History has proven time and again, that children who reach successfully their goals in life could have been encouraged towards them through such appreciation and praise. And praise and appreciation are even more potent if they are voiced by beloved parents, relatives or close friends. Such praises may not necessarily be direct. It could be the grandmother’s admiration for her grandchild’s abilities. It could be the proud grandpa’s prediction of greatness of his grandchild.

So long as that grandchild could understand the accolades of the grandparents, it raises his/her self-esteem and confidence; self-esteem and confidence which is essential in boosting his ego to stimulate the imagination and belief which enables the child to visualise himself or herself achieving whatever innate capabilities or talent.

Many a time, encouraging words are all that is needed to have children want to learn, to improve and to develop in the right direction. Believe in their ability to achieve all that is good for them and children will prove us right.

Isn’t that easy to do? So what is preventing us from doing it every day of our lives?

Great news! Beautiful teeth is easy to have!

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However, the product may not be in your country. Well, where there's a will, there's a way. See how you can have someone send them or import them. Sales, gals and guys!Do you see the potential?

Find out now and all the best from me.

An excellent start in society.

"Wow! Isn't he great! Hey, young little fellow, where did you learn such good manners?"

Is not such praise what we would like to hear others give our child?

However, that can only happen with the correct teaching and guidance.

Just as a kid can be taught to ask to be taken to the toilet; with the right training, so can a kid be taught how to greet people.

From the earliest possible time, when opportunity presents itself, like the time we and our child meet a neighbour, tell him or her what to say to the uncle or auntie.

"Say hello to uncle. Say: Hello, uncle." Our voice should be encouraging and clear.
Accept any mumbling of the greeting with praise.

Practice makes perfect. Do this greeting as often as circumstances permit. Our children will soon get used to greeting people. With appropraite praise and encouragement, even a timid child will gain sufficient confidence to greet people.

Before a function, prepare our children to greet people by telling them how to do it.Then, at the right time, prompt them to to say the necessary. If necessary, tell them the words to use. However, never ever laugh at our children's clumsiness. If ever, they falter, give them the right words again. that is what correct teaching is all about. There must be no discouragement through any action or words. Never hurt our children's feelings. And remember they are still very young with many more years to learn.

From experience, I can assure anyone that the adults around will be pleased with the attempts by our children. They will show their pleasure at such politeness with smiles, delight and kind words; all these will be ample reward for our children. Such rewards are the nutrients for the healthy growth of self-esteem.

We are not merely developing self-esteem; we are also teaching the right behaviour, the right manners and the knowledge that approval is always given to the right deeds. Even more important, success in society begins thus with the right behaviour, habits and attitude.

To have our children well liked and popular at such a young age; is not this an excellent start?

Parental duty makes the difference.

There are times when untrained children wet or messed up their shorts or skirts so frequently that exasperated parents let out their emotions with derogatory words with such vehemence which were definitely bad for the self-esteem or confidence of any child.

Let me share with you what happened when an acquaintance and his family visited us for the first time. The father was discussing a political issue with me while the mother was talking about her neighbours with my wife.

They did not pay attention to their little child who crawled all over the place. My children, in the meantime, had a tough time getting the child to be interested in their toys. He would take one toy after and wander to the kitchen and back of the house.

As the family was leaving, the mother gave a scream as she had just discovered that her child had excreted into his pants and the excreta had gone onto her arms as she lifted him up. There was excreta on the floor too, perhaps all over the place.

She let out a lot of unprintable words and, in her embarrassment, called her child useless. She continued with a lot of other nasty remarks and scolding for the child. But, whose fault was it? Who should be termed 'useless' in such circumstances. The father merely looked on.

The child had at no time indicated his desire to defecate. Obviously, it was not the first time he had done it. Certainly, that child had not been taught or trained to inform or to go to the proper place to do it.

Parenting is not an easy duty but it has to be done for the love of our child.