A choice of attitude.

This morning, this lady told me, "Oh, no! Time goes by too fast. Today is another working day and there's so much to do."

Thus, she faced another day with dread, knowing that work awaited her. She was, of course, not too happy with having to wake up early, to rush for her transport to take her to work and the fact that she would have to perform some kind of task before returning home tired in the evening.

As for me, I awaken each morning at 5.30 am to get myself ready for a hike up the Semarak Hill with the expectant joy of cool, fresh air and lovely scenery there besides the greetings and exchanges of messages and thoughts with the numerous friends and acquaintances that I am bound to meet there. I expect to return stronger, healthier, fitter and happier than ever.

See the difference in our attitudes towards the new day. Of course, I expect you to say it would be easy for me to have the better attitude as I am looking forward to something enjoyable and not work.

But then, who said work could not be enjoyable? When I was teaching, I woke up each morning, aware that I was still so much alive to face another beautiful day. I would smile at myself in the mirror and be delighted to have my image respond likewise. That was something I learned from some of my teachers, the ones who taught me about living and life, such greats as Napoleon Hill, Norman Vincent Peale and Dale Carnegie. I would reach the school early so that I would not have to rush but have the time to look at the beauties, nature and humans, along the way. Meeting and greeting friends each day was and still is a pleasure that lightens whatever loads and makes each day so fleetingly short that I had no alternative but to treasure almost every moment.

I loved my work and despite the numerous problems that students did cause, it was sufficiently interesting especially when results were achieved and personal satisfaction was derived from it. Perhaps it was my ego but then it was great to have such an ego when all it did was to make living such a challenge that brought a sense of achievement in the end. To this day I can still lay claim to the fact that I had 100% passes with my SPM art students every year during my teaching career. (SPM is the public examination at form five level.) It is also my pride that my gymnasts did very well through my training. Of course, it involved a lot of hard work, five days a week but then gymnasts can never be really good unless sufficient training and practice is held. Well, it was worth it as results fed the ego and that gave a wonderful feeling nothing else could have. So, ego can sometimes be a good thing although being too egoistic can be bad.

And all that wonderful joy was the result of one's attitude towards one's work. And that pleasure is for life as each time I meet an old student, his/her delight at meeting someone meaningful in his/her life gave me further happiness.

Attitude towards life and work is our choice. We can get up each morning with a happy thought of meeting wonderful friends and seeing beautiful things as well as achieving good work or we can awaken with the thought of gloomy skies, dull colourless objects on the way and having to meet lousy people throughout the day. Both choices are possible. We make it so.

When it comes to meeting beautiful people, it is easy as our friends would be around to smile, laugh and joke with us. Our way to work could be filled with lovely plants and flowers in some gardens or at the roadside. Listen and be greeted each morning by the whistling of birds, "Tweet, twee, twee, tweet!" which sounds like "Look at that girl!" or "Hi, handsome one!" Watch the butterflies as they flutter by and should there be a breeze, slow down and love its cool touch of your cheeks. And at work think of the service we can render to so many people. Think of what we can do. Not everyone has the skill or knowledge or capability that we possess. And know that God has sent us here to perform a mission.

Of course, it is just as easy to choose not to enjoy the sights on the way, not to notice the little girl digging her nose at the bus-stop or the man with a different coloured sock on each leg. It is easy to get up as late as possible, plod into the working place, flop into a chair and wonder when the day could be over, hope no one would interrupt the little shut-eye and wish that there is nothing to be done. Well, everything is possible to him/her who desires it. But which would we prefer?

Understanding people.

"That couple talks too much," she complained to me.
"What happened?"
"Well, the lady, for example, would talk at such speed that I did not have the chance to put in any comment. She goes on and on and it is so fast there just was no way i could say anything," her annoyed voice clearly told me her unhappiness.
"I thought all of you like each other as only the three of you seem to be able to hit it off," I gave her my observation.
"The other day, she was telling me about their son in Japan again. I wanted to tell her I have heard about that son many times already but she just went on talking so fast as if knowing that I was going to tell her that," She looked unhappy alright.
"I know. Perhaps they have only one son and must be hell of a proud about the son'e achievement. And since yours are the only ears willing to listen, she had to unload everything onto you," I tried to pacify her.
"Hummp! And that husband of hers! You know what happened? The other day, he told me relatives took them to an expensive restaurant and spent RM400 for just a meal for the four of them. And he was so upset about the extravagance! I told him it was alright as it was just once in a long while. At that, his voice was raised and condemnation was written all over his face as he told me never to say 'once in a while'. I was really flabbergasted at his tone of voice, as if he were lecturing his son or daughter. I really never expected that. Oh, my god! He always talks as if only he knows what is right!" and her voice rose a little higher at this point.

I did not want to encourage her to talk more about the couple as she was obviously too heated up at the thought of them and what they had said. Quietly, I told her that it is possible the couple was not fortunate enough to have the matured balance she has and it could be due to a number of factors. The factors could be poverty at childhood stage or when compared with other relatives their parents financial level could be the lowest and these could bring about some kind of inferiority complex. So they have to put on a kind of attitude towards money and success as a shield. It is a complex thing and we ought to be happy that we are not in that kind of situation where we have to put up a superiority complex to counter it. Sad is the situation of such people if they cannot find a way to remove the complex. "And that is why," I explained to her, "The couple, especially the man, always has to win in any argument or discussion. They have to put themselves into a one-track mind to prevent hurt to their fragile ego."

Such people ought to be helped rather than disliked. Of course, during their lifetime, some friend could have to get them to see and understand their problem. Unfortunately, such people are not easily helped unless they themselves can see their own problem and are willing to overcome it. In fact, they are in great need of a psychologist. Even now, they must have not realised that people avoid them because of their 'My way is the best. My method is the only one. No one can be more correct than me' attitude.

Since such people cannot be helped, we should not aggravate the situation but just have a cordial relationship with them, for without clashes there can be no sparks to heat up the atmosphere.

Our attitude towards a job.

There is a lady I know who works at what some of us, if not most, would consider to be one of the dirtiest place in the country. She has a job that has to do with sewage, clearing the filth from the smelly water and then filtering it before it goes back into our natural water-ways.

She is well-qualified for it and gets a salary most of us would envy. The only distasteful part of her occupation is supervising the work of other members of the staff to ensure that things such as underwear and everything else are fished out and removed before the water goes through some form of filtration.

Since I would not like to visit her place of work after hearing her description of the process of clearing the debris and other unmentionable things people throw into their sewage system, the above was the picture I received.

It is not everyone who can stomach the sight of such detestable objects those people find in their work. One of her friends, a man, could not bear such a sight and the next day found him out of the job. Of course, we who are not dependent upon such a post could easily say, "Ugh! I would run too!"

However, it is still a post with a good salary. And if those people there can do it, why not us? What or where is the difference?

As we talked, we did come to such a question. We have no doubt that it is the attitude of the people. If the workers there think of it as just another job with not much competition from most people, then there ought to be no problem. Furthermore, it is a well-paid job. And after all, there are other types of work just as undesirable. We have factories with all kinds of fumes and gases. The smell is just as intolerable. I once taught in a school where the smell of processing rubber attacked us each morning. although we believed it to be unhealthy, we tolerated it for some years before it moved elsewhere.

Attitude is an important factor in many parts of our lives. It plays an important role in deciding our future. People have landed in prison because of their attitude towards others and their ways. Well, the right attitude for whatever we do is the most important determinant of our success.

We need to have a positive attitude and be responsible.

"Caring for those parents who brought me up is my responsibility," claims one guy. "As for the others, why do I care?"

While it is true that nobody can force anyone to be responsible for anything, we ought to think of the consequences of our actions. According to me, everything that concerns this world is also our responsibility. Of course, we can only do so much, given our limited resources, our limited time and our limited energy. However, that is not an excuse not to do anything at all.

Just as our wise Confuscius said,"A journey of a thousand miles begin with one step." Thus, with one step forward, there can be a second and a third step to follow and soon the thousand miles or kilometers are covered. Similarly, every endeavour begins with each of us doing whatever we can for anything in and around our environment. Whatever good deed a person does today will be imitated and followed with another by another person.

I remember a time when my parents and I lived in a house in Caunter Hall, now known as Jalan P. Ramlee, in Penang. It was then some kind of Chinese village. There was one night some burglars tried to pry open the window of one of the houses. A neighbour saw the robber, took out his tin-can and started hitting it with a stick. The sound awaken the other neighbours and they too did the same thing with their sticks and metal containers, thus causing sufficient noise to frighten off the robbers. Now, if that neighbour who took the trouble to make a din to awaken everyone did not think it any of his business to be responsible for the safety of his neighbours, then it is the attitude that would be most welcome by the the roobers and thieves. It would be an attitude they need to go about with their criminal work. Fortunately, people who lived in far-away villages knew they need to cultivate the attitude of looking after each other's interest. They knew they cannot afford not to care. They have to be responsible or face the dangers individually as that would be the consequence of being not responsible for everyone in the village.

Security is just one aspect of our life. There is cleanliness, finance and assistance in so many forms. If the people in a village refuses to be responsible for the cleanliness of his village and starts to throw things anywhere they like, they will experience and realise the outcome of their attitude towards the responsibility to keep their village clean very soon when disease or sickness brings weakness and death. Criticism will be made where necessary and action by the village headman will awaken the recalcitrant to the need to be responsible. With greater responsibility come closer and better relationship which will ensure aid be given where and when necessary in nay tragedy that may before any family.

If we can see the need to be responsible and the consequences that may result, then we should be able to understand that we are also responsible for the whole world. After all what is the whole world but a bigger family. No doubt, a bigger world has certain difficulties when it comes to society's recalcitrant members. There is greater need for education of the masses and a need for laws to be enforced to ensure that a sense of responsibility where the right positive attitude is less prevalent.

Difficult as it may seem, every member of society has to do their part to ensure the world will be safe and secure for the future of the people we love; our friends, our children and our grandchildren and our great grandchildren.

Whatever we do today will affect the world of our beloved. In fact, this very minute, the world is getting hotter and hotter and while people suffer from the heat in the tropics, ice is melting at the poles causing traumatic changes that could harm the world we live in. We cannot be selfish and declare that our life would be over soon before any harm to our world can become more evident. We cannot afford not to care or be responsible as long as we know we will be leaving behind many people we love when the time comes for us to depart from it.

The greatest love we can ever declare to the beloved people we leave behind one sure day is to start, each in his/her own way, being responsible in every possible way for everything in our environment.

We have to start caring more or else whatever love we declare for anyone will sound so hollow and empty. And if there is none on this planet you do love, then you are one of the most sorrowful person in this world.

But then, taking a gamble in life is necessary.

To gamble and obtain more money the easy way is not good because of the attitude and greed that it cultivates. Most things just do not come easily. Things that come easily depend upon luck. Of course, some people are damn lucky, and I am one of them, but how many have that kind of luck consistently? There just is no way you can ensure that it would turn out the way you want it to.

However, in life, there is a need to take a gamble. We face each day certain of some things but a few things may be unpredictable. We may know we are heading towards a certain point in life but we can never know what could possibly happen on the way. When such unplanned happenings take place, what is needed is a decision but then, what is the right decision, are we going to turn left or right, or are we going to turn back? Perhaps, we could ignore the omen and just go ahead. Here, we are taking a decision which could bring certain consequences.

What if our instincts tell us that we should go on although we have been given information that to do so could lead to problems. Is the information accurate? Is reaching what is ahead important enough? If it holds something meaningful in our life, perhaps we ought to take a gamble, take a chance and see how things turn out.

It could be a change in career. It could be people in a relationship. What is ahead may not be smooth-flowing. There could be rough patches ahead but there is also promise of better things to come. Do we take a chance? Do we take a gamble and hope for the best.

Taking a gamble and go by one's instincts is the best option when every path forward is uncertain, full of questions, full of unknowns. We cannot just stay put, we have to move forward, take that gamble and hope for the best with all our efforts put in.

Inaction is never the option as one is already lost with no progress possible, nothing to gain, nothing to lose; so nothing to get and nothing to learn or experience.

It's all up to us.

There is no end to complaints. Each day we hear them from people we meet. These days, the weather is often the subject for complaints. It is either too hot or too wet.

A semi-paralysed friend of mine remarked that it certainly is not easy to be God. Well, with a higher post comes greater responsibility. God is deemed to be the one in charge of the world and its happenings, especially those which are unfortunate. I remember one politician who was well-known for blaming it on God when unfortunate incidents happen. Looks like God is also an easy scrapegoat. Fortunately for us humans, God is beyond such petty things and so does not take issue with anyone.

Coming back to this semi-paralysed friend, he said it was clear that people blame God for almost everything concerning the weather. When it is hot, almost everyone, except hawkers selling drinks and coffee-shop owners of course, complains and prays for rain. When it rains, depending upon the time of day, there are still people who will complain, especially hawkers and people on errants.

Thinking of what my friend told me, is it not true that there is always something to complain about if we wish to find fault? There is not a single day when complaints are not heard. Yet if we look around more appreciatively, there is so much to be thankful for, the most obvious being the fact that we are still alive and able to sense all the things around us in this world.

So, how are the colours of your world? Are they the light shades of whites, reds, pinks, yellows, blues, orange, purples and greens and are they only the shades of grey? Who created those colours for ourselves? If we were to smile at ourselves and love the beloved face right there in the mirror, there can be no grey. There can only be grey when we start looking for wrinkles and blemishes.

Face the world with delight due to a gratitude to be still alive to experience another life-enriching day. Appreciation and gratitude for all that is still yours to enjoy can never bring complaints. Thus, it is up to us what or how the world is, a world full of thins to complain about or a world full of wonderful possiblities and probabilty. See, it is all up to us.

That was what my dear paralysed friend was trying to say, that no matter how it is and who it is out there, even God, there is still so much to complain about if we search for something to find fault with. On the other hand, there is so much to be thankful for.

Have a wonderful day, my friends.

Praise be to god for such noble deeds.

Every human heart has kindness and beauty in its core. And this manifests itself in the charitable ways of our brothers and sisters of this world. This is especially so during a time of cheer such as the Chinese New Year.

This year, for example, The Art of Living, Sungai Petani, has some very noble ways of celebrating the new year.

First, there is a round of requests for donations from the members themselves so as to prepare red packets and food for the more than three hundred inhabitants of the Old Folks' Home in Bedong. For ordinary folks with no desire for any publicity to think of helping the old folks to enjoy together with the group, it is such a wonderful thought.

Then comes the idea of praying for our wildlife, releasing some of the wild birds, fish and frogs back into their habitat together with a prayer that they could find the way to rebirth into a higher form of life. Whether this is possible or not is immaterial. What matters is the thought that went into the action. The fact that these people think of those whom they believe are less fortunate at a time when there was no necessity to do so proves that they believe they are in a way responsible for not just themselves but for everything that is in their environment. If everyone in this world could come together as one in such noble thoughts, this world would have no wars, no killing, no unnecessary death, no unneccesary fear, no ugliness and life would indeed be beautiful or one and all in this world.

I happen to be one of those who still have some way to go to achieve such noble thoughts though I have realised for some time that this ought to be the way. I can only console myself that I am willing to learn to be as noble, willing to strive to be a better man. Well, as a nature lover, I am certainly never intentionally cruel to animals or things of nature. I used to pluck some of the leaves on my way up or down the hill and there was this lovely friend who obvilusly knew better how to care for nature and she told me not to pluck the leaves. Since then, I have realised that those plants could possibly feel hurt by my action and now I refrain from such an action. Thanks to the friend.

Life's like a see-saw. Up or down, which is lucky?

The other day, I was travelling with a friend when he told me of a venture which almost went broke. He started the business six years ago and due to inexperience then, the factory was floundering after just two years.

He carried on despite the problems he faced. Then, just as the camel's back was almost broken, the recession came. Business everywhere was bad. Almost every business had problems keeping afloat. Some closed shop.

The price of petrol dropped to an all time low. his factory was in a business which had to do with petroluem. So when the price of petrol went down, so did the price of the plastic products. Factories producing plastic products suffered great losses. The less capable ones went broke and closed shop. There was less competition. The remaining few, more established factories weathered the recession and when the recession gradually receded, his company managed to recover and with less competition, the factory planned to buy machines to prepare for the demand which will come with the world financial situation more stable.

Thus, a recession can be bad for some people while there are some who see it as a blessing in disguise. For this friend, it was a blessing as with less companies around to compete and the demand improving, his company can recover.

When he told me his story, I remember a time when I attended motivational speaker, Lawrence Chan's seminar for Holiday Magic cosmetics sometime during the 1970's. You know, I took out every cent of my savings to attend that seminar. Lawrence Chan proved himself a very captivating speaker. I was enthralled by his talk and I remember very well this story about two salesmen who were sent to Africa.

These two salemen were sent to look for the propect of stting up a branch in Africa. So, off they went and saw the same thing there. They saw that the people did not wear shoes. So, after noticing that, both of them went home to their shoe company. What do you think they told their manager?

One salesman went gloomingly into the manager's office, slumped into a chair without any enthusiasm or hope in his face. When asked how he would like to manage a branch there, he sadly shook his head and said," Sir, sending me there would be a waste of time and energy as the people there do not need shoes. They don't wear shoes."

Next, the other salesman was summoned to the office. this salesman strode confidently into the office with a cheerful smile on his face.
"Well, what do you think of a branch of our company inAfrica?" the manager asked.
"That would be great. It's fantastic. We will be the first to go into that market and everyone of them will need at least a pair of shoes as they have none at present," his words rushed out with the excitement of the propect of so many customers for the company.

Again, the situation is the same but the attitude towards a knowledge is different.
One salesman saw no customers for the company but the other one saw everyone of the people there as prospective customers.

The minds think differently. Here lies the difference. just as some people see the recession as bad luck, others see it as a blessing.

Well, it is just like people who buy shares. When the market crashes, people rush to get their money out and wait for the market to go up again. For some, however, they are so happy to see the market collapse as it would mean that the price of the shares will reach a all-time low, at which point they feel it is an opportune time to enter and pick up the shares at their lowest price. Well, unless the company goes bankrupt, the price has no way else to go but up.

So, here again, what can be a tragedy for some, is a blessing for others. it just depends upon how you look at it.

My experience at the Art of Living's DSN Course.

The Art of Living’s DSN Course in Hotel Sri Malaysia in Kepala Batas, Penang has just ended at about six o’clock in the evening on the 6th of December 2009.

I was one of the lucky participants of that course and I must say that it aroused such great happiness in me that I just hoped that it could go on and on.
Oh, yes! You may be wondering what the DSN is. DSN stands for Divya Samaj ka Nirmaan which means Creating a Divine Society. It is a course which last for three too short days in which certain activities are used to bring forth awareness and depth of oneself.

When great awareness has been aroused with certain activities and knowledge and you can go deep within yourself through meditation; happiness, enlightenment, the removal of boundaries, gratitude and love will blossom and grow. As a result, smiles and laughter as happiness permeates the person through assisting and serving others. The heart glows with gratitude and love which is natural when everyone is helping each other grow and develop by overcoming inhibitions and obstacles in the mind. Awareness of the enemy within each of us is heightened with knowledge and understanding as we experienced the truth of the matter and overcome whatever fears we may have.

It was some of the best three days of my life as each activity brings more knowledge and understanding, greater awareness, gratitude and love to my AOL teachers and the fellow participants as we help each other overcome barriers, reach out to assist each other and create a better understanding of ourselves and others. The joy that comes through living the present moment as we reach out to people such as the old folks to give them a memorable time.

However, DSN which is Creating a Divine Society can only start the day after the course ends as we turn our minds and hearts outwards towards the people in society to get the knowledge, the techniques and the experiences to our fellow brothers and sisters in our society, in our world.

So, it is with this in mind that each participant of that DSN course moves out, reach out to as many individuals as he/she can. How successful we can create a divine society depends upon all of us.

Stress and our attitude towards work.

Today, a lot of people seem to complain about the amount of work they are expected to do. And the pressure to perform their job extraordinarily well gets greater with the present economic situation with retrentment still a threat although part of the world is on the verge of recovery. The danger of a job lost is heightened with increasing prices of everyday necessities.

How do we overcome the pressure that we face at our workplace? The work load cannot be lessened. However, our mind can be adjusted. We can change our attitude towards work.

At this point, I hear a voice from one part of the world demand,"Ai Wei! How do you expect that to be done,ah? Talk is easy, lo, but when it comes to the real thing, I still have this huge pile of files to look into. Just change my attitude and the whole pile of work disappears aah?"

Okay. You're right. It's not easy. Nobody said it's easy, alright. Changing attitude takes some effort. And you're right too that the pile of work will not disappear. It's not magic. You see, it's science. It's how the mind works.

Yes, it is how our mind works. You have a choice in everything you want that mind of yours to behave, or I should say to think. If you prefer to worry, all the worrying thoughts will enter at your command. If you wish to take action, then the mind would start to plan and ideas would come in and if you think that same situation is just the right opportunity for you to show how good you are, your mind will think of ways to finish the job well and it will be happily looking forward to possible rewards. Have you ever experienced that? No?

Then, perhaps, I can bring in a simpler illustration. Let's say that you are a bachelor boy or girl and you get to know a girl or boy. What's in your mind? Beautiful/Handsome? Like him/her? Attracted? Your mind ticks 'Yes'. She/He asks for your help to take her big heavy bags to the airport for her/him. No problem, you would say. Big bags are not a problem. It would be good exercise. You are happy to be asked. It could mean that the person likes me. You would do it. Here's the chance. What a blessing from God!

Aah, what if you had ticked a 'No'. Sorry, lah. I have so much work to do. The time of your plane's departure is not convenient for me to take you there. All kinds of excuses. And if somehow you get persuaded to do it, you would not be happy with the situation, thinking of the huge number of heavy bags to carry. how exhausted you would be. It would be real tiring. That could also be really depressing, right? See, the situation is the same but the attitude is different.

So, let us see what kind of attitude we can put into our work. First of all, let us be positive. How lucky you are to have your job! Well, you are financially secure. There's money to pay the bills. Not enough? That has nothing to do with your job. It has everything to do with money mangement. (I will write on that in another posting.)

Work is to be done. So, we do it. Yes, we put in the work that is expected of us. That is what we are paid to do. If our mind understands that, and we set our mind to it, then there will be no dillydallying at work. If we do our work concientiously, as expected, there will be no pressure, only tiredness. Who does not get tired after a hard day's work? Tiredness at the end of the day is good as it will give us a good night's sleep. No insomnia unless we think of the work negatively. then, perhaps, we may think of kicking the employer the whole night instead of enjoying a good night's sleep.

And if we have worked hard, nobody can expect us to do more than that. So, whatever can not be completed has to be put aside for another day. If you have done your job well, the employer would understand. If the employer cannot understand that, then that employer's business will suffer when his workers run to another company. He and his company will not last.

Look at the banks. Business is always coming in but they have to put a stop to it at a certain time of the day so that the work can be completed. They understand that their workers can only do that much. And if the business is managed well, there is always another day to get more business.

Let us understand that pressure from work comes about when we feel or think that we have been given an unfair amount of work; we have been overloaded with too much work and expected to finish in too short a time. You do not agree, do you?

Okay, let's look at a hawker. The more work his customers give him, getting him to fry non-stop, demanding that they be served fast, the happier he is at the end of the day when he looks at the amount of cash he had gained. Is that overworked, pressured to perform faster hawker stressed or depressed with his workload? No! Far from it. He's delighted with his tiring work.

"Aaah! But that is physical work. It does not tax the mind."

Yeah? How about petition writers who work for themselves? If you see a good popular one with loads of work, ask him whether he is ever too stressed or depressed with his/her work. I do not believe such people would ever feel stressed or depressed with their work. For such people, the more work the happier; slightly stressed maybe, tiring too but happy. Certainly not overly stressed.

See, it's not the amount of work that overstresses a person. It is the thought that the workload is unfair, that too little time is given to complete it. It's the thinking that determines the attitude.

Sometimes, even when the workload is unfair, there is no overstress. Why? If you decide you love a particular type of work, that work becomes a pleasure. You may be tired by the load but your pleasure is not diminished.

Sometimes, it is pride in one's work, in one's achievement. A coach may be willing to work extra hours without extra pay in order to produce athletes with exceptional capabilities. A teacher may put in extra effort to achieve a yearly hundred percent passes for his subject. Why would these people walk the extra mile? It is love, pride and achievement that brings a lot of tiredness and fatique perhaps, but no depression or overstress.

Why do I emphasise on overstress? You see, some stress is good for us. There has to be some stress when we want to please someone, to achieve something better, to show that we are as good as others, if not better. Such types of stress brings us a positive feeling to help us perform well in whatever we wish to do.

It is only too much stress that we wish to avoid as such stress wreaks havoc on our mind and can cause our body to release too much hormones and toxins that can bring sickness to us.

Reach out to those in need of a helping hand.

It was in the University of Malaya, 1977, that I helped a driver move her car out of a parking lot. Strolling, as I was early, to one of the 'Teaching of English as a Second Language' (TESL) lectures, I saw this young lady moving her vehicle half-way in and out of a parking lot a good number of times, unable to come out of it without the possiblity of knocking into one of the cars beside her own.

Although I had not yet taken up driving lessons then, I could not help but want to help her. Appraising the narrow space her car was in, I found that her problem was that she turned the wheel too early. So, I directed her to straighten her front wheels, reverse straight out before turning the vehicle. That did the trick!

It was only after she had gone that I realised the wonder of having taught someone how to safely reverse out of a parking lot without having learned driving or driven a car before. That feeling gave me a high and took my self-esteem to fantastic heights. Besides that, I was delighted that I could be of help to someone. Of course, her beautiful, thankful smile was great! Well, is not that reward enough just for extending a little help? And when it comes without expectation, it makes the appreciation even better.

I don't know but I have always liked to help wherever I may or can. Perhaps, it is the wonderful feeling I have whenever such opportunities to help arise. Perhaps, it makes me feel more useful. Perhaps, it is the smiles of gratefulness I recieve. Perhaps, I just want to be a hero. Whatever it is, I feel good and that is really worth a lot more than many things in this world.

It is also the bridge to friendship. There was this neighbour who could hardly be considered friendly until the day I helped her son up when he fell in the middle of the road with his bicycle on top of him. She was more friendly with me after that incident.

It does not cost a cent to extend a helping hand to a fellow human or an ailing creature but the effect on yourself and the people in your world is so great. The appreciation is always there although we do not act for that. And the world is a so much better place if we all care enough to make a difference.

Easy come, easy go.

Once upon a time, there was a young man who lived in shabby little hut in Kodiang, Kedah. Like quite a number of young man in this part of the country, which is very near to the neighbouring country, Thailand, he would travel to the some of the small towns in the southern part of Thailand.

People go to Thailand for mainly two reasons during that time. Many business people and families or women would go shopping in groups as everything they wanted was cheaper in Thailand. Another reason for going there were the girls who were easily available for a night of fun and, perhaps, presents of some veneral diseases.

Well, this young man went there because of the girls. One of the girls he became friendly with, gave him a lottery number. His star was shinning bright and the number brought him a huge sum of money. He was full of joy at his good fortune and so patronised this girl often. A little time later, another one of the numbers she gave struck gold again, this time bringing the young man more than a million ringgit as he had much money then with which he could bet with.

A million ringgit! Without further thought, he married the lady goose that gave the golden numbers. They lived happily for some time with the wise lady urging him to buy up land with some of the money.

Time dilutes the happiness of possessing a mere million ringgit. After all, there are others who have more. His only problem was that he was not prepared to use the money wisely. He knew of no business he could do with his money. Furthermore, his wife would be able to think of another number when his savings dwindled.

So, he continued to gamble. With the amount of money he had, he gambled big time. With money at hand and no work, he spent his days gambling at cards and mahjong,a kind of betting game.

Initially, he won but eventually, he lost more than he won. After more than half a year, his money was almost all gone. Yes, a lot had gone into buying land, but it was a matter of time before he had to sell each one of them to maintain his type of life-style.

Soon, he was back to where he started almost a year ago. Finding insufficient food on the table, his golden goose fled back to Thailand. Well, "Easy come, easy go." was the people's comments. And there was truth in it.

When a person does not have appreciation of something, he is careless with it. Through carelessness, that something can be lost. A person who gets his/her money through hard work or planning will understand how difficult such money is obtained. The person would value it and think of how he/she could use it to improve life.

We value something more if we finally achieve that thing through some effort. We treasure it more because it was not too easily obtained. It is just as I value my health a lot because I was very sickly when I was young. It took a lot of knowledge and exercise such as body-building to give me the health I have today. I thank god for my awareness of my weakness and determination to overcome it while I was still very young.

So, let's forget about easy money and gaining something with nothing. God only help those who help themselves.

What's in a name. A rose by any name is just as sweet.

Earlier I have written about names; about problems and opportunities that names might bring as well as how and why I chose the names for my children. Names has its importance as the wrong name could bring on a lot of teasing, mischief and misery, especially among children while the right name can take a person to the right places. Read about it in ‘Names can bring misery posted on 1st March 2009, How children's names could be chosen posted on 2nd March 2009 and Names can bring opportunities published on 3rd March, 2009.

When it comes to my name, the person who does not know me would think I am a female. You see, among the Mandarin speaking group, many believe it’s a name for a woman. So, sometimes I receive letters addressed to ‘Miss Ong Ai Wei’. Fortunately, it did not turn me into a gay. I suppose I’m just too rough and manly for that.

You know, once,a friend had some wigs and she showed them to me. I did try on the friend's wigs and a look at that mug of mine with those straight or permed long hair was enough to drive out any romantic feelings any lady could have had for me. Since then, this fellow prefers all things manly, things most women would be more attracted to.

Coming back from my rambling, my name is actually good. You see, I have a fail-safe last name. In Chinese ‘Ong’ means good luck. ‘Fung shui’ masters, those who teach us how to arrange things in our houses to bring in luck, have no luck with me, for I am always ‘Ong’ (lucky) with a capital ‘O’. My house has at least one ‘Ong’ around.

And my middle name is ‘Ai’ which means love. So, love is always in the air wherever I go.

‘Wei’ just means generous and I think it just suits me fine. As one lovely girlfriend I was once close with during my youth told me, “You are just too generous. You know, Ai Wei; you are generous to a fault.” I did not mind that as it has helped made my life wonderful. Of course, I can be stingy too. It depends. Otherwise, I would not be good at managing myself, would I?

Then, there was this beautiful lady friend who wondered how she should call me. She told me calling me ‘Wei’ would sound rude as that’s how some people using Mandarin language would rudely address those whose names are not known to them. You know, someone would shout out, "Wei! Wei! What're you doing in my office. Get lost!" and that 'Wei' might reply, "Hey, you think I don't have a name, hah?" Well, in my mind, I thought it would be nice if she could call me ‘Wo de Ai’ which means ‘My beloved.’ However, sentimental dreamer, I might be but fool, I am not. So, I did not venture to voice that.

Then, at The Art of Living Centre in Sungai Petani where a good number of people spoke Mandarin, many found my first name a mouthful. So I told those beloved folks, “Just call me Highway.” They found that easy as it was part of their vocabulary, having talked about using the highway so very often. So, there, this man's Highway. The Highwayman? No, no! No way, just Highway will do. I presume they do not know the meaning of that. Oh, God!

Nevertheless, there's no need to worry. Be it ‘Ai Wei’, ‘Highway’ or ‘Highwayman’, eventually, when they know me well enough, they will know it is the person himself that counts. No matter how pretty or ugly a name is, it is just a sound that we attach to a person. We like someone because of his/her character and qualities, not because of a name.

It's all in the mind.

I remember the time I lived at Caunter Hall, Penang. Today, it has been renamed Jalan P. Ramli after a well-known Malay actor. When I was there, it was just a big village surrounded by banana plantations, coconut plantations and pineapple plantations. Once a year, there would be a flood.

While the adults and some children dread the floods, I enjoyed them. It was the only time of the year when I could get my clothes wet without being scolded. At the slightest excuse, I would run through the coconut plantation in the rain to the sundry shop on its other side to help purchase things my mother needed. The best times were when a ‘plop’ signaled a race to the spot to return with an old coconut for the family. And a run was always welcome after my weak legs had recovered from the trauma they underwent at the legs of the temple medium.(True story in an earlier posting.)

When the floods descended upon the village, it was an opportunity to wade around the village, my feet and toes feeling the slippery mud and soil, looking for ducklings swept down the river towards us. Each flood rewarded us with ducklings from another village.The ducklings were God-sent.

Besides, I had the fun of folding paper boats which I put into the flood waters to glide away. I could put my legs in the cool water as it swirl around the bed and the surrounding furniture through the house. I could drop myself into the water and paddle around without any reprimand from my parents. How wonderful life could be! God sent flood waters to children like me.

After the floods, adults would grumble and complain of the many cleaning jobs they had to perform to put the house back in order. Stains left by the muddy flood water was everywhere. Everything was a mess, according to the adults. After each flood, the adults would think of ways to prevent water from the next flood entering their houses.

As it can be seen, what was joy and pleasure to me was tediousness and a chore to the adults. They talked about messiness while I delighted in the fun. Our minds were obviously on different wavelengths. We saw things differently.

With this, parents could perhaps understand their children better. Understand that what is enjoyable to us may not necessary be enjoyable for them. However, parents ought to know how much happiness could be found such gifts of nature. And when children could not help but play in the muddy water, it was not naughtiness but a natural joy, children's innate enthusiasm for happiness!

Unfortunately, as we grow to be adults, society teaches us artificial behaviours which hamper the expression of our innate enthusiasm for happiness. If we were to enjoy the rain in the streets of our concrete jungle, society may term us mad. So, we have to restrain ourselves. As for me, so often have I allowed myself the freedom and pleasure of a walk in the rain up a hill. I still value the joy I derive from such occassions.

This difference in attitude towards things is not merely between parents and their children. It is also between one child and another for no two children are alike in every way. Just as it is never the same between two adults. We are all individuals, different in as many ways as we are similar.

When we understand this, we are able to accept others and their idiosyncratic ways as well as their many differing views and thoughts.