He does not listen to me anymore.

The adolescent child has found independence. Still, there are many things in life he is naïve about. He still needs guidance. Yet, some adolescence no longer wants to inform the parents where he or she wishes to go. Such children are closer to their friends than their parents.

These children are possibly the result of insufficient bonding with the parents. They could be those who did not receive sufficient attention. Perhaps, they perceive their parents do not love them anymore.

Now, their friends are closer to them and provide them with enough attention to have them prefer their company.

Let us forget about those lost opportunities to have a close relationship with them. That is over. Let us think of how we can remedy the situation.

The parenting part is almost over. The bird has grown feathers and is able to fly. We should be glad. So, there should be no scolding or parental instructions or teaching. We should act as concerned adults and friends to our adolescent children.

First,we ought to indicate we want them to be happy. “Enjoy yourself!” and “Is there enough petrol in the car? Here, you may need some money to fill the tank.” Of course, do not just push money to them, only when necessary. We are not buying love!Money cannot buy love.

And should he return earlier, ask him what happened. Show our happiness to see him back. “Oh! It’s good to have you back so early. Have you taken your supper? No, do you want me to prepare something for you. No? Come, I prepare all of us a cup of milo.” Show our love, but do not push it. It takes time to get back the acceptance of our concern.

Make him feel he is a member of the family. Discuss things like trips and decisions to change the furniture or anything else.

Joke with him. Talk about his interests. Encourage him by taking an interest in whatever he purchases.

All such actions lead to a closer relationship, a better understanding and an acceptance that the adolescence is an individual with thoughts, attitudes, behavior, interests and life of his or her own.

However, we must always have patience with children we feel they have been left out; who feels that we have not been looking into their welfare; who think we have not listened or paid attention to his/her needs.

In time, the adolescent; upon being allowed to grow his/her own way, no longer feels his or her freedom and independence threatened; can once again become closer again and confide in the parents; think of and perhaps accept ideas and opinions of the parents.

Your big child merely needs room to grow as an individual.