Parental duty makes the difference.

There are times when untrained children wet or messed up their shorts or skirts so frequently that exasperated parents let out their emotions with derogatory words with such vehemence which were definitely bad for the self-esteem or confidence of any child.

Let me share with you what happened when an acquaintance and his family visited us for the first time. The father was discussing a political issue with me while the mother was talking about her neighbours with my wife.

They did not pay attention to their little child who crawled all over the place. My children, in the meantime, had a tough time getting the child to be interested in their toys. He would take one toy after and wander to the kitchen and back of the house.

As the family was leaving, the mother gave a scream as she had just discovered that her child had excreted into his pants and the excreta had gone onto her arms as she lifted him up. There was excreta on the floor too, perhaps all over the place.

She let out a lot of unprintable words and, in her embarrassment, called her child useless. She continued with a lot of other nasty remarks and scolding for the child. But, whose fault was it? Who should be termed 'useless' in such circumstances. The father merely looked on.

The child had at no time indicated his desire to defecate. Obviously, it was not the first time he had done it. Certainly, that child had not been taught or trained to inform or to go to the proper place to do it.

Parenting is not an easy duty but it has to be done for the love of our child.

Self-esteem has to be encouraged.

Babies can be trained to urinate and defecate at certain regular times. My beloved wife did it with our two children with great success.

At the time when they were babies, before giving milk at the regular times advised by the nurses, my wife would prompt them with ‘shee….shee…’ sounds. This had the desire effect and they urinated before drinking their milk. Then, at certain times, after drinking milk, my wife would prompt them to defecate by having them lie down on their backs, their legs lifted slightly with sounds of umm….ummm…’ If the period between each action is right, then everything goes according to schedule. (Their life at this time is thus structured.)

As they grew older and are able to communicate, they would inform us each time they wanted to urinate or defecate. At such times, we must response immediately. After each such action, praise for informing must be given with hugs and kisses. Try it out with your child from the very first day and you can be assured they would be hardly any bed-wetting.

What has toilet training to do with success in life? On the surface, it may appear as a small insignificant matter. But, look at it as training and discipline.

In toilet training your child, you teach your child to respond appropriately, doing the right thing at necessary times. That is where discipline begins. With such training, your child learns what needs to be done and eventually the place to go to when nature calls.

Visitors would be amazed that your child knows where to go at such a young age. Through their comments as well as your telling them of your child’s ability to avoid embarrassing bed-wetting or messing up of his or her clothes. Such praises in front of visitors reinforces good habits and establishes the desirable self-esteem of your child.