Encourage! Never force your children.

In the previous post I wrote that I hoped parents could get their children into activities to cultivate certain qualities in their children as a foundation upon which children can build their success. Jessica Cox’s parents laid the foundation for their child to face the challenges ahead by getting her involved in activities whereby she gained strength, agility, courage and a sense of achievement which stood her in good stead as she went about her daily tasks with the strength and agility or flexibility in her legs and toes to enable those tasks to be carried out satisfactorily. Those activities she took part in at such a young age obviously were suitable for preparing her legs and toes for the tasks required of them so that Jessica Cox could live her life independently. That, of itself was already sufficient to place her on par with every other human.

Now, imagine if every parent were to think of activities that could help prepare her child for life, would not that have given the child a head-start in life? However, not every activity is suitable for every child's needs. Furthermore, as individuals, children have their own natural inclinations and interests. Such things have to be taken into account when planning activities for the children.

Therefore, I have to stress that not every child is a Jessica Cox, by which I mean not every child treads the same path as hers. Born without arms, she need another part of her body to substitute for her arms, her legs and toes. For the legs to perform as arms, she had to start young to have her legs and toes get used to performing the tasks of holding, turning and pushing everyday objects. For those deeds, the toes need strength and agility, and those early activities built up the necessary strength and agility for her success. Yes, she needed gymnastics, dancing or tae-kwon-do to achieve the necessary strength and agility or courage.

However, different individuals born with differing weaknesses need different activities to prepare them for life. There are many roads leading to Rome and although different, a few of them could be suitable paths to take the children there to success. So not every child needs to pilot a plane or surf to reach success. The child could just as easily find his/her niche in music, writing or outer space. It can just be anything. So how should we know, a parent ought to ask.

Well, look at her inclinations. Where are the child’s interests? If the child is unsure, let the little one try whatever activities are available, encourage the little one to try out anything and everything. And if the little one is shy or fearful, give a nudge towards the things and be there to give confidence. In doing so, we give the child a chance to know his weaknesses and strengths. Even Jessica Cox has the obvious weakness of having no arms, and that lead her to find the strength in her legs. After that it was just the courage to try and the perseverance to learn to succeed. Remember that it took her three years to get her pilot’s licence. She could have given up after one year and become a quitter but she did not and that made the difference. From this, parents ought to realise children must be taught the virtue of perseverance. Give encourage to go on trying even when things look bleak. The best way to encourage to be there, to accompany the child at such times.

Children do want to learn and take on new activities with enthusiasm. However, if the inclination is not there, parents should never use force as then the child will fight against being involved and when that happens the battle is lost. Persuade, encourage and praise but there must be no force. Give a helping hand whenever necessary and the problems can be overcome. And even if one activity is rejected there are still many others which may prove helpful to the child. Thus, if one activity would not do, go on to others and for God’s sake, never give up. And if the little one does not reach the top of that activity like achieving a black belt in karate, it is no big deal. He or she may turn out to be a Kungfu or Tai-chi master. Who knows? Nobody can tell you that but as long as everyone is supportive, there is always hope of some kind of success. Just let the child’s inclination and interests lead to his/her niche in life.

And not all activities need to be physical. When it comes to Jessica Cox, the problem is physical and therefore requires physical remedies. Children may need academic or spiritual activities to improve their chances of success. Although spiritual may sound a little far-fetched, it may just be that which helps. After all I have seen the use of the English Language improved through attending church functions. Well, let us be open-minded and allow that all activities in one way or another can and do help children develop.

So go ahead and encourage the children to be involved to benefit as well as prepare for life ahead.