Children need parents' attention.

The monitor of a class was sent to request my help as a young form three student refused to return to the class when he was found sniffing glue behind one school block. That was 1988 when I was the discipline-teacher of Sekolah Menengah Bakar Arang, the then most notorious school in Sungai Petani for gangsterism. Established just three years ago, there were lots of problems and being discipline-teacher kept me on my toes throughout the day as such a post brings problems from school as well as outside school hours.

One of the problems I encountered were children from families who were too busy with work or family tiffs, separation and divorce.

Returning to the child with his sniffing of glue, I had to approach the child slowly, talking to him from a distance in as quiet and calm a voice as I could muster. I knew I had to portray my concern for him to gain his confidence. There was no reprimand to be given, no demand for him to explain himself or return to class. I just sat down some distance from him, watched him and asked if he was alright. When he did not reply I told him I just wondered how I could help him. Then, I innocently asked him what it was he was holding in his hand. He showed me the small tin of glue. I slid a little closer, took a look at it and asked him what he was doing with it. He did not respond with any any words but merely looked at me as I went on to tell him that if there was any problem I was there to help him. I had to be patient and it took some time before he allowed me to take the tin of glue from him, each time moving just a little bit closer. Then with one hand over his shoulder, I told him I understood how he felt, although I did not as I have never sniffed glue or been high before. Nevertheless, I sat there for a little while longer before I got him to return to his class where i told the form teacher to let him rest at his place.

The next day I had a talk with his parents and told him the problem their child was facing, warning them that that child needed love and understanding more than any accusation or scolding. I told them that if they care for that child they have to give him more attention, know his activities and his friends.

Yes, children can be easily lead astray if there is a lack of attention on the part of the two most important people in their lives, the parents. In fact, as a disciplinarian in that school I learned a lot from those unfortunate children. Most of them went astray to find alternative attention in one form or another. I believe a study into our heroes and villains will lead to one conclusion; they perform all those deeds again and again because of the attention they beget. Even the ordinary man on the street perform whatever they do each day to get the necessary attention from their peers, their colleagues and their friends or whoever they come across.

And attention is least found in problem families where both parents no longer care for the welfare of their homes, both spending less and less time in the home with more and more time away somewhere else. In bigger families, the reduction in attention could be overcome with attention from other loving members of the family but if those other members do not care, hope for proper attention for those children is lost and they have to search for other sources of attention. Be the external sources of attention good or bad is a matter of luck. If the children are lucky they find some sources of attention beneficial, if not it can lead to drugs, theft and all kinds of possible mischief.

Therefore, a happy, loving family is the best place to nourish a growing child. Where there is love, there will always be care and when that is present there must be happiness and a beautiful path towards success in life.