What's love got to do with it?

This writer has gone quite often into the importance of love among two persons who will inevitably become the parents of a child. The reason I do so is that love between the parents is just as important to the healthy and happy growth and development of children. Parents secure in the love of each other perform better than those in loveless stormy shelters.

As a disciplinarian in a school, I have often had to visit and see the homes of children who rebel against teachers and the school system.

There was this boy who would fight with other children at the drop of a hat. He was constantly on the lookout for an opportunity to quarrel and fight. One day, his problems led him to my desk. I told him he must be a good fighter to want to show off his ability every day. He told me there were times he lost but he stressed that before he did he would try to do as much damage as he could. I asked him if he realised that he would be losing a lot of friends through this behaviour of his. He was silent. I told him the importance of having friends; that even teachers are worried that he had become so anti-social. To this, he replied, “Who cares? Even my parents do not bother.”

I was surprised at the answer and decided to pay his parents a visit. That afternoon, I took the boy home so that I could meet the parents.

When I reached his home, the boy ran into the house. I followed and called out to the occupants of the house. One woman came out and asked what I wanted. When I told her my intention for being there, she shouted to someone inside the house, informing the person that a teacher wanted to meet the father. The father loudly told her to manage the matter herself, declaring that he was too tired to appear. He could not be bothered to come out despite being told that his son’s teacher wanted to see him. There was a lot of vulgar language used in the conversation between them. They do not sound very friendly, forget being loving, towards each other.

The woman then asked me the purpose of seeing the parents. I told her about her son’s problem in school. I told her she and her husband had to help the school look into the matter to assist his child to change his ways.

Then, she said that there was nothing much she could do as her son would not listen to her. They did not communicate; I was given the impression. As for her husband, he was seldom at home. And when he did turn up, it was to rest and complain. There was no way she could discuss the matter with him as his temper would flare whenever problems crop up or are brought up.

The child had been brought up in a home which knew not love. It was a volcano just waiting to erupt. There was always this uneasiness in the lull before another storm. The occupants would be ever ready to defend themselves, to hit back, to fight and survive the next catastrophe which is bound to happen, sooner or later. Apparently, the child had learnt much of this hostility from the parents.

Under such circumstances, how is this child ever to learn and understand love for himself and his fellow students? How is he to understand that there can be love among his fellow humans?