Have you really found love?

There was this lady who was really sad at the way her husband had neglected her at a time when she needed understanding and care. She had a serious sickness and was suffering from pain each day. Yet, the man in her life did not bother to give the necessary support.

Then, one day, out of the blue came the man she once threw aside to marry this husband. The man and his wife found her in the above mentioned situation and was good enough to volunteer help.

That was when she told me about the man, the ex-boyfriend who loved her so much. Unfortunately, the man had a perilous job (laying tiles on roof-tops) and a low pay. So, she allowed her parents to talk her out of marrying the man she loved. She ended the story with "That is how I ended up with this lousy husband."

Do you listen to the opinion of others when it comes to love? Do you let your parents decide whom you wish to find your life partner? This is one of the most important person in your life. If he is still around, he will most probably be the person to comfort you during the last few weeks of your life!

How many types of love have we experienced in our life-time? Let us think of the varieties of love known to us. Are some of them really love? Could it be merely lust? Were you just seduced into a marriage? Does your partner love? Does your partner care?

There is the seductive type in which you want to go close to someone because of the seductive aspect of the person. Let me tell you of such an experience. In my twenties, I was active in Holiday Magic Cosmetics, a multi-tiered cosmetics marketing system. Its Penang office was situated in one of the big buildings housing a number of offices. While waiting for one of my down-line to appear, I saw a beautiful, sexy woman in another office. Wishing to introduce Holiday Magic Cosmetics to her, I knocked and requested to have some time to tell her how Holiday Magic cosmetics could not only improve her looks but also care for her skin as well, as it was the only cosmetics then that did not use alcohol; alcohol which could burn into her pores and cause the rough pits encountered on faces of people who had used other types of cosmetics for many years.

The sultry voice that greeted me drew my attention to a well-complexioned face framed by lovely, long, black curls. As I returned her greeting and moved towards her, I was completely mesmerized by her beauty; her captivating smile, her graceful gestures, her beautiful brown eyes, her voluptuous body and the titillating cut of her lovely slinky blue dress at her breast. My eyes were absolutely riveted to that part of her dress, revealing just sufficiently to excite, and the sensation of pleasure, a growing sexual desire; something akin to love for that woman in front of me. Those feelings aroused in me made me almost forget my purpose of entering her office. It was an experience I am unable to forget to this day although the feeling went off after I met my down line. Yet, each time I met her again, she was so desirable.

Once upon a time, I felt very lonely. It was a time when all of a sudden, I find our close friends all settled down to a married life except for myself. Girlfriends there were but they were not the ones I was attracted to. Just having fun, enjoying an evening with good food and cool places with beautiful voices to lull me into a somewhat romantic mood was always possible. Nevertheless, at the end of the day when I had taken my partner for the night home, there was this loneliness which descends upon me. Love is not so easy to find after all.

Sometimes, we love someone but it is merely a one-way street. That someone does not find it in her heart to accept us. Then, sadly we have to let the person go. Well, life is just like that. Perhaps, God has some kind of purpose in that. Who knows?

Then, someone does love us but we cannot get ourselves to love that someone. Looking back, we find that person not exactly unattractive, not actually unworthy of attention; yet somehow the feeling for that person is just not there. Not compatible? Maybe. Maybe not. What's it? It's a mystery. That's life! So, let it be!

Some people look at love as a means to ensure themselve of a good future. This, perhaps, is something 'inherited' from old values in which match-making was once practiced. Of course, in match-making where romance or love do not play a part, we had to think of our partner as a means to a better home, a better financial position or a better future. In places where man had to fight the environment and the wilds or savage tribal opponents, the considerations would be wealth, health and strength.

Tradition still continues for some and wealth (motorbike or car, small hut or bungalow, doctor or labourer) and looks are important. Just as the lady in the first story in this posting which tells of someone who willingly forgo true love for someone with a more stable income.

I know a lady, a very beautiful and intelligent one with a good job, who chose to marry a rich man immediately even though she was not interested in him as a lover. This lady jumped at the chance of certain wealthy future because she had known a terrible life of poverty. sometimes, circumstances force people to make hasty decisions; decisions they regret as the need for love is not satisfied.

So, how do you approach love? Parents ought to be models in this. They ought to show their children the meaning of love; the happiness that love can bring.

Parents are people who first gave us the love and security that we needed in this world. One of the first people to put their protective arms around us, they care so much for our future that they would do anything to help us on the way to independence and success. They are the people who taught us about love; love which may not necessary be ideal but with the knowledge of their kind of love, we decide on the kind that we would like to foster so that our own love can be even better.

Then comes someone special who cherishes and share our dreams; loves us despite our weaknesses and looks out for us when the darkest clouds threaten to envelope us. With this someone, if there is true love, the strength of this love will see us through everything till death do us part.

Who will keep vigil by our bedside through any sickness? Who will stand by us in our darkest hour? Who will grieve even more whenever we experience a loss? Who would put himself/herself at risk to ward off any danger to us? That person is our true love! Do you share the same view? Have you found real love?