Never in anger!

Whack!
That's for being naughty.
Whack! that's for breaking this camel's back.
Whack!
That's for the frustration with my workload.
Whack!
That's for the anger boiling in me.
Whack!
You asked for it.
Whack!
you are the one I can let off steam on.

And it is the parent's child who suffers the force of the frustration and anger. Only when the anger had spent itself can the poor child find relief from from the parental storm.

Some people cannot control their anger. Some allow their bad moods to get out of control. Whatever it is, such people create a lot of problems for themselves, their children as well as others.

When I was a young teacher in my first school, there was this lady teacher whom every other person keeps a distance from until they can read her mood on her face. Sometimes she would come with a relaxed, smiling face. At other times, she would enter the teachers’ common room with a face darkened by the ugly dark clouds hovering over her head; thunder and lightning threatening to break out at the slightest instigation.

The comments were interesting: “Her husband did a good job on her last night.” or “No love last night, you’d better not be in my way.”
So, most times unpleasant remarks were made as many perceived her to be frustrated. Less unpleasant remarks would be: “Ai Wei, get out of her way. Someone’s gonna trample all over you.” or "Watch out! Can you see the dark clouds hovering near you?"
Once in a while, we get “Look! Who’s bringing some sunshine in.”

Parents and teachers especially, ought never to punish the children when they are angry. As parents or teachers, we must always remember that the sole purpose of punishment is to teach, never to vent our anger or dismay at having something expensive broken, for example. An expensive object can never be more important than a child. A broken object can be replaced but never a broken child. To punish in anger is most unjustified. It’s a child at the receiving end and that child might not even be the one that started the anger.

Parents who punish in anger often lose control of themselves, causing grievous harm to the helpless child. Angry red welts are usually the result. Sometimes, only when the emotion is spent does the parent realise the damage that had been done.
Then, to show repentance, the parent would hold the child in her arms and apply ointment to the welts he/she had caused. What is the point of remorse at this stage?

The welts may no longer sting; no more blood and no more pain. But the pain is in the heart of the poor child. Who can take away the pain of a betrayed child; a child who would have thought the very arm that caned him/her so viciously should have been the one to protect and care for him/her.

The child had been beaten to the stage where he/she believes that it is not possible that the parent have any love for him/her; not after what the child had gone through. It is a sad, unloved child who receives the ointment. A little of the bond between child and parents has been lost.

If there be such a parent, he/she should realise she has a problem. He/She must reach out for some stress management solution. Such a solution can be found at The Art Of Living, a world-wide organization, that has a breathing technique, knowledge and meditation that have been found to be effective. Such a solution can help the parents, the children, the whole family and society.

With a solution to our problems, let's look forward to a better tomorrow.