Accepting failure is just as important.

There was a tennis tournament and the boy lost to another in the finals which is expected in any game. Someone has to lose in order that another can win. There can only be only one winner in the finals. However, on that day, immediately after the game, the mother of the boy who lost came running up to the referee red in the face with anger and frothing at the mouth. She demanded the referee explain how her child could have lost that crucial game. Despite the referee composure and requesting her to calm down so that they could talk sensibly, she raged and scolded with words most foul. It embarrassed everyone so to hear such words from a so-called educated woman. The referee was unable to appease her and had to walk away off the court to avoid further barrage of words.

Of course, no one took the side of the mother in her wrath as it was clear cut that the other boy was a better player that day. The poor boy who lost was the one who ought to be pitied for he could have realised that it was a fair game and was the victim of such unpleasantness. And it was certainly none of his doing but that was not all, the child knew he was to hear a lot of speeches he would want to avoid.
Should the mother have shouted and made such a scene? Should the mother have consulted with her son’s coach or other officials before lodging a complaint? What is the use of letting off steam so soon, at the time when the ego overrides reason and dignity goes down the drain.

The mother refused to allow reality to surface and in doing so could be doing more harm than good to her child. The reality is that no matter how good a person is at something, there will always be someone who can take over and prove himself or herself to be just as good. The child was the best but time changes things and soon another can take his/her place, just as the previous child had also overtaken another to be that time’s champion. However, win or lose, they know they have reached a level to be proud of. Thus, they are all winners in a certain period of their lives. No one, no matter the game, can be the winner forever. That is the position held only by God but we are all mere mortals.

And even if the prime of one’s life is not yet over, anyone can lose. It could be due to so many factors such as the weather, the mood of the day, the stress and strain of overtraining, pride and ego making one feel invincible which can never be, irritability or instability due to unforeseen circumstances and a multitude of other unknown factors. Whatever it is the loser of the day must graciously accept the fact that for that day, the other person is the better player.

Teaching a child not to accept failure when, in spite of everything else, it happens is to lead a child to sadness, frustrations and suicide. And sadness and frustration will surely accompany this child as failure is bound to happen to even the very best.

Teaching a child to accept occasional failure is necessary as it can and will happen. We must teach him/her to understand that failure is a path to learning. Some failures can be due to poor knowledge, insufficient practice, unavailability of good techniques and other possible weaknesses. So, if a person is trained to accept the defeat and search for the cause of the failure, he can see the weaknesses that his/her ego had prevented him/her from seeing. Sometimes, in failure we need a sincere friend or coach to point out the weaknesses; weaknesses which fans and supporters such as mothers and fathers cannot notice. Then, with this knowledge, the person can work to overcome the weaknesses so as to emerge a winner again.

The above is a true story with names not mentioned to avoid unnecessary embarrassment as the happening is used only to share and benefit from it. We ought to feel concerned as there have been times when the news media has informed us of suicide by people who have failed in one thing or another, unable to get up again to face life. This could be avoided if we understand that failure could be looked at in a more positive manner and that there is still life after failure. This is where knowledge from The ART of Living could be of help.

God did not send us to this world to play truant and run back to Him when the lessons in life gets too tough.