Know what appreciation can do.

There are millions of lovers and married couples in this world. Some are rich while others are poor. Some are happy in their relationship while others are not. Who are those who are happy? Is there a clear division between the married and unmarried? Are the rich any happier than the poorer couples? Which couple is the happiest?

The above questions hold answers to eternal bliss in a love relationship. However, before we start, let us understand that sufficient money and daily life sustenance are essential to any love relationship but, in no way, does it guarantee happiness.

For that, we have to ask anybody what he/she needs other than the bare essentials of life; such as food, water and shelter. Humans need self-esteem. Self-esteem is the nutrient of our soul. Without self-esteem, there is a feeling of worthlessness, no self worth. Useless! Ask those who want to commit suicide and they will tell you, his/her life is no longer worth the living. Somewhere along the way, the self-esteem has been destroyed. And when self-esteem goes to an all-time low, a feeling that life is of no value creeps in.

So, how do we build up and sustain our self worth. It is through the love of parents and friends. Parents makes us feel wanted, needed and loved. With that our self-esteem grows. Thus, children who grow up without parents' expressions of daily love lack self-esteem and this is seen in their lack of confidence.

Later, through our achievements and successes, we develop further our self esteem. We know our worth and capability. We are positive in our attitude towards challenges in life.

If our own self esteem is strong, challenges that manage to batter our self esteem every once in a while, will not put us down for long, unlike those who have a weak self-esteem. Because of our knowledge of our own worth, we are able to sustain our self-esteem despite the odds we face. However, that does not mean that we need no further assurance of our capability to sustain it.

Sometimes, we face failures in life which come one after another, slowly but gradually whittling away our self-esteem. In the face of such storms, who can help us retain our confidence? In a relationship, it is our lover or other half in a marriage. how is that achieved?

Well, appreciation is very essential in stabilising the confidence of a partner. Appreciation is easy. It is merely telling the partner your liking for certain qualities or the gratitude for whatever the partner has done for you each and everyday. This appreciation reminds the partner that someone cares, needs and wants him/her; that his/her existence is important to his/her well-being. This is how one's self-esteem can be boosted.

Criticism is the very opposite of appreciation. It can destroy one's ego together with whatever relationship that exists. There, always show appreciation in any relationship. Never criticise! If there is nothing better to be said, just stopper the mouth and remain quiet until the calm returns.