Try to understand before criticising.

Instead of criticizing, we ought to try and understand the feelings of others. Without the sometimes sad, disappointing and frustrated experiences that some people had, can a critic be able to understand the feelings and pain those people could have gone through. Can he claim to understand the feelings of those people?

Yet, on Thursday, 24 June 2010, I read a letter in a newspaper in which a Malaysian Chinese who had lived in Russia where he studied for many years for many years criticized other Malaysians for not loving Malaysia by laughing and making a remark at a man who was wearing a T-shirt imprinted with the words ‘Saya Cinta Malaysia’ which means ‘I love Malaysia’.

Of course, the man wearing that T-shirt ought not to be laughed at for that was just an open declaration for the love of his country. Everyone of us should love our country and I believe almost all of us do. For those who claim they don’t, we have to ask them the reason before any criticism is made. Do they have a good reason for their statements? Perhaps, they do. If we are open minded enough to try and understand such people, we may even come to sympathise with them.

Perhaps, those people who claim they do not love their country could have been confused and had mixed up the government of the day with their country. What I am saying is that those people were born in a certain place and since their parents, siblings, relative and friends are there, that’s where home is. Good or bad, that’s where they belong. They feel comfortable being there. Then when they grow up, they realise certain things, things other than the people and the surroundings they know. They found their country being ruled in a certain way. Born in a certain country, brought up playing with their friends, studying with their friends, living with their friends, helping each other, they would expect to be treated the same as those friends by the government. Then the day came when they pass their examinations at secondary school level and discover that only certain friends, most with not as good results as them, were given the privilege of being given entrance to certain privileged colleges to study for just a year with almost certainty of qualifying for tertiary education while they had to go for two years of upper secondary schooling which is so much more difficult. Why is there a difference? As a good number of their friends who were given the special privilege were even richer or better off than them, of course, it can be expected that they would feel that that was unfair. Can we blame them for feeling thus?

Then, when they managed to get excellent results, they did not get their country’s scholarship to study overseas although others more privileged friends who had not as good results, who even come from financially better families who did not exactly need those scholarships were given such financial aid to further their education. Would not such students feel frustrated at losing an opportunity which they merited? Should they be expected to love a government which had not considered them equal to other citizens although they were born and bred in the same country with no other country they call their own?

Even for tertiary education in their own country, it is not the best students who qualify for a place. The citizens are divided into certain categories with a certain community given more places.

Again, when it comes to jobs, with the exception of jobs in the private sector perhaps, jobs are given out again based on communities. When it comes to promotions, that happened too. (I have a brother-in law who quit the RMAF, the Royal Malaysian Air Force, from a job he loved because each year he watched younger staff with the same qualifications ascend the promotion ladder faster than him, overtaking him easily. ) Despite doing all that, the government of the day expects every citizen to be grateful to the government for some of the ‘crumbs’ given, usually just before or during elections.

Now if, like the Malaysian Chinese who criticised the others for not loving the country, someone who has his parents financial support to study anywhere he wishes, then the person does not feel or know the same pain, disappointment and frustration that the poor Malaysian Chinese or Indians would feel under such circumstances. (I know for I have personally comforted such a tearful person and felt his pain as he told me of his great disappointment at not being able to go for tertiary education despite his excellent results. Those who have not known such disappointment and pain might not be able to understand what I have written, perhaps.) Could such a person whose whole life-time would never be as good as it ought to be, be expected to be grateful for having all his dreams dashed by a government’s policy? If you were him, think how you would feel. (Sometimes we cannot fathom certain things unless and until we get into the shoes of those people. After all such things do not happen to us and certainly not the Malaysian Chinese who could not understand those people who ridiculed the guy who wore a T-shirt with the words ‘I love Malaysia’.

Poverty has no barriers. It exists in every race or community. A country which wishes to assist the really poor to give them a better chance at life should draw up policies to help all poor citizens regardless of race. When the policies are drawn up dividing all citizens into communities, many of the poor do not actually get the assistance. Even for the targeted community, time has proved that those who benefited from such a policy are not the truly helpless poor but the well-to-do and those well connected with the people who walk the corridors of power.

Thus, those who criticise ought to find out what has transpired, understand the situation properly, know the experiences and feelings of those unfortunate people before reaching a conclusion to base on whatever criticism the person wishes to make. Certainly, it takes some effort and an open mind to appreciate properly other people’s feeling and thoughts.