Attention and love make the difference.

Today, in the star newspaper, was this sad and tragic report of the death of one young twenty-six year old man who was stabbed to death by his own younger twenty-three year old brother as a result of a quarrel.

According to the report, the parents blamed the tragedy on siblings rivalry since childhood.

It seems improbable that such a deadly ending could be possible of their relationship as both the brothers had apparently acquired education above that of the average individual. The elder brother was in his final year of a master degree while the younger sibling hold a diploma in business management.

According to the parents, the quarrels and fights between the two children were over petty issues, probably arising from jealousy and unhappiness.

From the case, parents should be aware that even among siblings, every indication of unhappiness ought to be looked into seriously. So often have I seen parents so slipshod in treating such cases. They consider such happenings as natural and would certainly peter out as the children grow older. The words, 'They are just like that. It's normal for them to behave thus at such an age.' are so frequently heard by parents who believe everything will turn out right as the children grow older.

Perhaps parents ought to read or be taught child psychology where we are told children can become jealous of the fuss and attention given to the new-born baby. If we understand this part of the feeling of the elder child and not neglect the elder child but get him/her involved in the process of giving attention to the new-born, then his jealousy may abate or be defused as the new-born became a part of him/her and not a distraction of the attention he/she had been used to.

Jealousy and sibling rivalry can result from the one-sided appreciation of the siblings by the parents. Well, no two individuals are the same. One may be quicker, smarter, more agile, more capable or more in everything than the other. Parents heap praises on the one who achieve more, obviously. However, parents should always pay just as much attention to the one who seems less capable. Give that less capable child as much love as the capable one. Hug him/her as much as the other. And show as much enthusiasm and heap praise on him or her achievements as they happen no matter how much smaller the achievements are comparatively. In fact, never compare in words as well as in deeds. I believe every child is as beloved as another. If the talents are not seen, they perhaps have not been given the opportunity to emerge yet.

Furthermore, when it comes to ability, our measuring instrument is more often than not, faulty. For example, some are spiritualist and their capabilities may not be so obvious. Capabilities are only obvious when someone is able to excel in matters of education and the arts where there are opportunities to be tested, to have a platform to perform, with talents that can be evaluated with certificates and monetary awards. Capability with handling children and social work for example is not as obvious. Later in life, while working at something else, do the people themselves discover the niche most desirable. Other people may not even realise that these people are talented in such matters.

However, coming back to children, be it obvious or not that they possess certain abilities, parents should always give them all the attention and love possible despite the time constraint in their lives. In a family, which adult have no time constraints?