Loneliness.

Today, I read in the Star Online a letter which says, "I am wondering how single people, especially those in their 40s and 50s, cope with being single.I am also single and we are the people who are not able to get married due to many reasons that are best known to ourselves. My question is: If all women only seek the best men, where would all the second or third-rate men turn to, if not prostitutes?"

Since the writer is single and talks about having to visit prostitutes to overcome his loneliness, it must be a man who could be in his forties or fifties. Since he talks about visiting prostitutes, his problem cannot be erectile deficiency or ED. He must be just any ordinary guy with no obvious problem.

However, from his 'where would all the second or third-rate men turn to' question, he could be suffering from some kind of inferiority complex. Such a complex could result from poverty; thus the belief that no woman could be interested in him due to his financial situation. It could also be due to superiority complex. (How can that be? Well, I know of one such guy who is still single because of his superiority complex. That has to go into another posting.) It could also be due to being jilted by the first love. (Many should have such experiences. Yet, they survive to find an even better love-life.) Whatever the reasons, life is for living and if we follow this principle; life, with or without a wife, is not necessarily lonely. Not even for guys with an ED problem. Believe me, it is not a big problem. They can still satisfy their wives any day. How? That's a thousand ringgit answer.

Let's return to this guy with his loneliness. No person can be lonely as long as he is friendly. Mix around with people. Talk to them. If there is nothing to talk about, just listen to those who would. Acknowledge their views and opinions with a smile and a nod. Certainly, that is not difficult to do. Be a part of a group, even when one is not good at conversation. People need listeners. They appreciate the fact that someone enjoys their stories, their ideas, their knowledge. When you have friends, you cannot be lonely. And friends would comprise of both sexes.

Take me for example. I am not handsome, financially alright but not rich, strong and healthy maybe but that does not help much, but I am friendly. I mix around. Nothing attractive about me except for my belief that life is what we make of it. Life is for living. Don't wait for happy moments to come. Every moment can be happy if you enjoy the people around, look at the positive part of any situation and loneliness is seldom felt.

Yes, if you notice, I said loneliness is seldom felt. Of course, once in a while, especially when a beloved girlfriend has left, never to return, anyone can feel lonely and lost. Loneliness is good because without it, how can anyone appreciate the company of those who are still around. Without it, how can anyone appreciate the girlfriend who returns. Sometimes, it is loneliness that gets a person to seek a partner.

However, please do not equate a partner with a prostitute. A prostitute; not that I do not respect her as a person for some of them are in the trade due to circumstances not within their control and therefore we ought to be compassionate towards them; cannot take the place of a partner and cannot help anyone to overcome loneliness as there is no friendship or true company offered. Only sex, do it, be finished with it, pay and that's the end of the story. One may feel even lonelier after such a visit.

Loneliness can be overcome through mixing with others. Join groups of people, a club, an association or an organised gathering to mix and know people, take part in the activities conducted and be active. Smile and be approachable. It is not exceptional to have others reach out to us just as we reach out to them.

Friendship and happiness has nothing to do with age, be it forties or fifties. I am in my sixties and am still meeting and making new friends because I am willing to take part in activities organised by other people. I am willing to make myself useful and so, when people find you are sincere in your friendship, there are just no possible barriers. With so many activities and friends around, there is no time for loneliness.

Hah! But then this guy is talking about girls not seeking men like him. Why not! First, when we mix around, forget about getting hitched. Just be friendly and approachable. Just be sincere and let things happen. Who knows? Of course, I cannot promise anybody a wife. I am not that great. I wish I am but I believe there is something good in everyone of us and one day there will be people who will come to realise that good.

Furthermore, this lonely guy forgot that for every lonely man out there, there is a lonely gal. (Hey, thinking of those gals, I think he ought to stop complaining. He has his prostitutes to visit. What about those gals?) But, do not worry about those gals. They have their own plans. Three of them voiced one particular plan to me. Tell you about that one later as this posting is getting a little too long. So, till then, adios.