Everyday's Valentine's Day.

When I married Soo Kin some thirty-five years ago, I told her I would love her every day of her life. And that was what I did.

You see, I was one of those guys who have seen enough unhappy marriages to not be one of the victims. I strongly believe, even to this day, that a happy marriage is possible, that all that happens to that marriage depends upon just the two individuals who committed themselves to the marriage, nothing more. Even more important, that a happy marriage is important to the health and happiness of the two persons involved. In a marriage, the two persons, love established or a structure of convenience or desirability, must constantly care for each other regardless of the obstacles or problems that befall them from time to time.

It is the care and love that counts and not the marriage certificate or the ring on the finger. That is the reason Soo Kin and I never wore a ring or registered our marriage. We married at a time when a marriage ceremony was sufficient to prove our status as man and wife. Actually, even without the ceremony, I was her man and she was my wife.

When you love someone, everyday is Valentine's Day. For us, every day, we thought of each other's welfare and happiness; we planned things together, went almost everywhere together, looking out for each other always. Every minute of the day was Valentine's time. When the children did not materialise within the first ten years of marriage, I assured her that the two of us made a marriage; we need nobody else to complete the happiness. Then, when our two beloved, precious children came, we shared the joys of bringing up our two boys, planning the children's progress and thinking of widening the world of our two children and our nephews with outings to places within our reach, finance and time wise. In fact, with so much to think of for our family, there was just no space for problems to stay for long.


Eventually, when Soo Kin was down with Cushing Syndrome and had to be hospitalised for the last eight months of her life; with our children studying in residential science schools; I took leave from my profession to be at her side till the last second of her life. In the hospital, as i slept on chair beside her bed, we constantly looked to each other for the much needed solace and companionship. In those moments, we realised that the most important person in our lives is our other half. We understood there was no one closer than the two of us.

Therefore, it is important for married couples to know that everyday has to be a Valentine's Day. It's a must for love. And Valentine's Day is not just a bunch of expensive roses, some lovey-dovey words or exotic chocolates. It's the care from the heart, something that is sometimes not heard because we expect something more tangible (Not that that is not important, but sometimes circumstances just prevents it.)and in the process miss that which is even more precious.