What the ears do not like to hear, say it not even to a friend.

There was one time I told someone frankly what I believed she ought to do, although it was something that indicated her weakness. Of course, since it exposed her weakness, she was not happy with me.

From then I learned not to be so forthright with my words. Nowadays, I keep words that may not make others happy to myself.

I should have learned that a lot earlier. I had a childhood friend who used to end the day asking me the faults I see in him so that he could improve himself with this friend's help. I thought that was good. Furthermore, he appeared grateful for the advice I used to give him.

As time went on, this friend became a martial arts expert. One day, a quarrel between him who was the chief instructor and another instructor. He demanded that the other instructor resign. He told the meeting that he himself would resign if the other instructor refused to do so. As we can see that the other instructor was not going to resign. And to make him go we would have to sack him which would have created problems as it was a personal quarrel between the two. To overcome this, some of the other instructors and I did not agree as we hoped that an amicable solution could be found. When that happened this friend refused to look for another solution. So, he resigned.

From that day onwards, I could see that there was this little rift in our friendship although we still met and talked.

It is pretty obvious that no matter how sincere the words are, if they can hurt, harm can be done.

Therefore, wise people usually do not express their feelings openly. They listen to the general public's views before they say what is in their mind, perhaps, diluting their criticism and ending strongly with praise.

Sometimes people who are good with flattery are more welcome than those who are frank. Right or wrong, flattery uses words that are music to the ears of the receiver. Flattery arouses smiles and joy while the barren truth is sometimes too rough and painful to the receiver's ears. Therefore, such painful truth has to be shellaced with a little honey if the purpose is to not hurt too much but to assist.

The problem is that sometimes the truth hurts and we need to be careful with the words. We have to think first before sending criticising words forth for as someone once said, words can be sharper than the sword.