Know your child: The bond between the parents and the child.

Do we really know our children? Do we know our children’s character, his feelings, needs, habits, likes and dislikes, hobbies or interests?
How do we get to know our children well enough to ensure he/she can develop his potential to the fullest?

The first thing we have to realize is that every child is an individual. Each child’s needs are different. Even when the needs of two children are the same, the amount or the intensity can be different. For example, all children need encouragement, but a timid child would need more encouragement than the aggressive one. That is the reason all of us need to know and understand our own children well.
Getting to know our children well must come from firsthand knowledge. To do that well, the bond between parents and the child must be good. This bond not only helps us to know our children. It will help us to be close to them, to communicate easily, to know their problems and to be able to assist them with whatever wisdom we have in solving day to day problems.

So, to know our children well, we need to be with them; to spend quality time with them. Initially, all that is needed is to cuddle, talk and give him some attention as often as possible.

Of course, there are some of us who may find it difficult to spend time with the family. To them, I would say, we ought to think of our priorities. To me, my wife and my children are the most important people in the world. Of course, my friends are important too. Their happiness is my happiness. I devoted myself to my wife the day I fell in love with her. My devotion was extended to my children the day they came into my life. This does not mean we do not care for our friends. I do and friends of mine know it.

Back to the bond with our children, we need to talk and play with them. Talking with them not only helps our children learn language, it is also the first step to communication, an essential part of living. Every human needs to communicate with somebody. That is why, when there is no one to turn to, to communicate on problems, insecurity and fears, people start to talk to themselves. A baby is happy when there is someone to communicate with. Have you ever noticed that?

In playing with our children, we help our child cultivate togetherness. We are social creatures. We need company. Loving parents are the best company for baby. Other than helping our children learn about shapes, textures and taste; parents can, through play as the child grows, get to know his likes and dislikes as well as his interests.

There was a student of a science school in Pokok Sena, Kedah, Malaysia who told me that his interest in cars and all the engineering aspects on cars started during his early years through playing with toy cars. He played with his father pushing the toy cars to each other. Knowing that his son was interested, he bought him many models to play with. Magazines followed at a later stage.

Spending time with our children, taking him/her around to know and see his/her world is an important process of development. From the known things at home, our children get to discover unknown things outside the home. The more things there are to see, the more communication there is, the more language is learned, the greater the knowledge. And the more familiar the surrounding is, the more confident is our children. With this, our child is more ready for greater improvement earlier in life. Imagine the amount of benefit our children get just through bonding!