A grandpa's hardship.

This evening I met a friend who confirmed my constant belief that children should never be pampered. My talk with him revealed that grandparents are not the best guardians even though their intentions are nothing but the best.

Here was this friend who exposed the problems of being grandparent-guardians of two lovely grandsons. First, there are these two children who demand his and his wife's time almost eighteen hours a day seven days a week. Awakened by a need to get things done and ready before the two grandchildren awakens; things such as moping the floor, cleaning the table and getting breakfast ready are an everyday affair. Once they are awake, it is feeding them and watching over them wherever they may wander, inside the house, to the front, the back and into the garden.

And besides this, there is this over-loving of grandparents, sometimes one more concerned than the other. For example, he would allow them to run around and fall every now and then, while she, the grandma, would scream at him whenever one of the grandchildren is in danger of a fall or a crash into a piece of furniture. Or one child would touch the floor, then grabs a piece of food and pops it into his mouth. Oh, no! How can that be allowed? No grandchild of mine must have dirt go into his mouth! And grandpa gets the blame. So, everyday, something would cause heated arguments on proper care of grandchildren. Tempers can flare and and relationships can get strained. All because of two grandchildren.

All these can happen because one or both grandparents love the children too much. Well, too much of a good thing can be bad. It leads to pampering. Everything the grandchild wants, he will get, be it food or playthings. At the supermarket recently, this grandpa saw how extravagant the grandma was with her money, paying almost thirty ringgit for a rifle, handcuffs and other 'police' toys. The young father who was present then refused to purchase them as he was thinking of effects such toys could have on his son, the grandpa would not part with so much money for some useless plastic toys but the grandma thought her grandchild must have what is desired by him as children need toys to play with. Furthermore, she has her own money to pamper her grandchild with and that silenced the other two men. So, nothing is too expensive for a pampering grandmother and the toys were bought.

And as the children grew bigger, the grandparents required more energy. Even a simple bath is a problem. Getting them to bath needs a lot of persuading, something leading to scolding and threats before any bathing could take place. Then, there was the amount of play when two children wants to enjoy the bathroom at the same time. There was noise and a lot of splashing that got the floor wet and slippery. The grandma and grandpa have to be extraordinarily careful holding onto the children under such slippery surfaces. Thus, each bath ends with another round of mopping and drying of the floor. That is a lot of work for two old folks.

This friends did remarked that it was easier with their own children. They were more willing to discipline them, be more firm with them and should that not be effective, a spanking on the buttocks was sufficient to put things into proper order. So, he admitted that when it came to the grandchildren, they were unwilling to commit the same type of disciplining.

This grandpa realised that he was not able to enforce discipline on his grandchildren; the very same discipline which had been effective with his own children. Why is that so? Could it be that they understand, deep in their hearts, that grandchildren have their own parents to love, and so, unless even greater love is bestowed upon the grandchildren, the grandchildren might not love them enough? And that could be the reason, they give too much love, pampering, to their grandchildren.

It is time that grandparents search their hearts and should their actions are the result of this subconscious thought, then they must correct their thinking as pampering, be it on one's own children or grandchildren, is never good for them as it would do them a lot of harm. In my earlier posts I had explored the harm and problems that could arise from pampered children. Even in the previous post was a true story of a woman who was divorced by her husband due to her uncaring ways which was caused by her being pampered as an only child. Let us help our beloved young ones grow properly with the right amount of love and understanding into great wonderful individuals loved by all humans they associate with in their lives.

To truly love, we have to suffer the pain of having to discipline when necessary so that the ones we discipline will grow to love and be loved by all.