It's women who torment other women.

Yesterday, I met a lady with the courage to do things her way. This was told me by her own daughter who has great respect for her because of this. It is so because she totally agrees with her mother's belief that she must stand by her right to choose the way she ought to live and behave as long as what she does hurt no one. I fully endorse her view and so would hope to spread it too.

The young Indian lady friend told me about the time her father passed away. For the Indians, the Hindus, the married ladies wear something, something like a necklace as wear as a mark on their forehead to proudly but quietly announce to those who understands the symbol that she is married to someone.

Now, when the husband dies, the new widow is treated 'badly' by the other widows as the body of the husband is taken away for burial. First, the wife is not allowed to follow the husband's body to its last resting place. After that, the other widows are to decorate her face and dress her like a bride and then smear all that make-up on her face and make a mess of it.

This friend's mother refused to be treated thus, refused to have the spot between her eye-brows cleaned off, refused to have her face messed up and refused to have her husband's body go to its last resting place alone. She adamantly followed the funeral procession to his grave.

Of course, she was scolded for going against tradition. She did not relent despite all the voices of condemnation. Besides that, this said that she agreed with her mother's wishes and so told the relatives and friends to not force her mother do what she did not wish to do. She threatened to retaliate should they continue to harass her. With that, the others dared not continue to pester her and she achieved her desire to follow the procession with her face unblemished by interfering hands.

At one point, she pointed out to them that the tradition of burning widows at the time of cremation of the dead husbands' body had stopped because it was realised that the practice was cruel. She told them their torment of new widows is also cruel. If there was anyone who said that traditions must not be broken, then those women should follow the first tradition and have themselves burned together with their husbands. So, if that tradition could be stopped, there is no reason to enforced the later tradition. It is sadistic of older widows to cruelly treat new widows thus. And they, the widowed relative and friends had no answer to that.

In the cause of pain and torment to women, I have noticed that it is the women who wants such foul practices to continue. And this is not limited to Hindu culture. As far as I know, many Chinese young wives suffer at the hands of a good number of mothers-in-law. Somehow, the mothers-in-law have this territory control factor where the older lady must have control over everything, be it right or wrong.

It is time that people, regardless of their sex, race or religion, do what is right and remove all that is cruel or wrong.