"We've lost a child."

Some time ago, I wrote about a couple who refused to allowed their youngest child, a girl, to leave the family home in pursuit of further studies. I firmly believe that was selfish of the parents.

This morning I met a lady who told me of a son who went for further studies in Britain.

Actually, that was not her child. You see, that boy was the child of the husband’s first wife. After the divorce from the first wife, the husband got to know her and soon after that they got married.

The first wife had two children, a boy and a girl. This lady, the second wife, knowing how tough it must be for the children to miss the presence of their own mother, did all she could to treat them like her very own. She cared for them so much that they always regarded her as their mother; introducing her to others as ‘our mother’.

She was very proud of her role in the proper bringing up of the two children of the first wife. In her own words: “I know I have done my duty as a mother well. In fact, the role I have played brought the children the chances of further education; even up to tertiary level.You can say I can walk tall with my head lifted up as I'm proud of what I have done for them.” The boy went to Britain and stayed there after his masters. The girl furthered her studies in Singapore and is there today. It was this lady who persuaded the husband to take out money to finance the two children to tertiary level.

Then she told me how the family has lost a son. How could that be? Well, it seems the boy who went to Britain had changed since he got married. She lamented that the boy no longer recognised them or even his real mother, as his parents. Once, his own mother went overseas to visit him. She was not welcome. Sad indeed that a grown child no longer have any respect, if not love, for his own parents. Well, we are not here to judge. We know not the whole story. We know not what had happened. Just let this be knowledge that such things can happen. For those in similar circumstances, know that you are not alone in such sad matters. With this knowledge, it is easier to accept the situation.

Her husband did once remarked, ”Imagine spending so much money for your child to improve himself and end up with such a situation where the child, despite all that knowledge and development, does not even understand love and respect for parents.”

Nevertheless, the situation affected this lady and her husband so much that they were glad that the man’s third child, this lady’s own child, did not do well enough in his studies to go for further studies. According to the lady, this may be a blessing in disguise. As such, she and the husband are happy. Their third child is happy with his present job. And there is no possibility of another lost child.

Well, what can I say? What can you say?