Teach our children love.

With adults, some adults find it difficult to express love. It becomes even more difficult when they are hurt although the love is still there.

Fortunately, parents find it so easy to love their children. Even when the children hurt them they go on expressing their love openly.

Love is one of the most important things in life. Love moves your child to follow you, to imitate you, to want you to love him/her, to be the best he/she can possibly be, to care for your feelings, to care about what you think and, thus in this manner, become the best child in the world for you. All these we see in a child who is loved but not in the one who is pampered.

What is the difference between loving and pampering? When we love a child, we want him/her to be the best for himself or herself. To reach this goal, we must love him/her enough to teach him/her to differentiate between right and wrong. It may be difficult, sometimes painful and needs effort to change the bad habits or whatever is wrong, but a parent must do it for the good of the child even if it hurts. It means that there may be the need for punishment.

However, a loving parent does not punish to release any frustrations or anger. The parent punishes to correct the child. Sometimes a disapproving look or tone of voice is enough. Sometimes there may be a need for a light slap on the palm or buttocks just to indicate disapproval clearly. A beloved child will know he/she must not continue with the unacceptable action.

When a child is pampered, the parent loves the child to gain the child’s love. So, everything the child does, right or wrong, is accepted and approved by the parent. The child, of course, in his/her innocence is made to believe that he/she can never do any wrong. Used to acceptance to all his/her wishes and demands, the child learns to be selfish in love. The pampered child learns to throw tantrums to get the parent to accede to demands. Does such a child care for his/her parent’s feelings? Certainly not, but who has taught her such a behavior? Who has taught her this kind of love? Unless someone can change his/her attitude towards love, the child will grow up to be a demanding adult who would always think of himself/herself only, without consideration for others. Sometimes, even the very parent or guardian who is the one who has caused such a problem to arise, may come to dislike the child for his/her unacceptable, selfish ways. It is indeed tragic!

Here is a true, sad story. As a discipline teacher in one school, I once approached a parent to tell her that her child needs her attention and advised her to talk to her child as he was obviously heading towards a problem. The single parent refused to see the problem. She believed her son stayed at home always and was incapable of doing wrong although she was most of the time at work leaving the child alone the whole day to fend for himself. Unfortunately, the problem was allowed to worsen and she woke up to the horrors of a pampered child’s actions only when she was slapped and beaten by her only child. It happened when she discovered that he was the one who had been stealing her money to buy drugs. She came crying to the school to complain but this teacher could only advise her to seek help from the appropriate authorities as the child was absent despite many letters of notification to the parent.

So, love your child for the good of himself/herself, not because he/she was of your own blood and genes. Let your child know that you love because you care and because you care you want him/her to have all the good qualities a child is capable of acquiring. In this way, the child grows up loving himself or herself, you and others, understanding and respecting you and others for the things he or she holds dear to his or her heart.

Thus, parents are very important people. The future of our world lies in the hands of parents. Parents who earnestly aspire to have children acquire the best human qualities are the ones who will ensure our environment is clean and healthy, put forth children who value joy, love and peace, and insures the safety of our planet earth and every individual in it. Do you think this is possible?

Thus, teach our children love so that they love themselves, their parents, their fellow humans, other creatures who have every right to a place under the sun, the environment, our planet and the divine spirit, God. May God bless such loving parents!