Suitability is of utmost importance.

Yes, suitability! This word immediately came to mind although I have not taught art and design for about eight years. It came when I read about a government minister's accusation that a lady member of Parliament in Selangor had worn clothes that were too tight for an aerobics exercise session in the compound of a mosque. I took a look at the lady in the photograph and found her clothes totally suitable for aerobics. In fact, if she were to wear clothes any more loose-fitting than that I would consider her someone who had never done any aerobics before; an ignoramus where aerobics is concerned. Fortunately, she obviously knew the proper attire for such an exercise session.

Of course, the complaint was that she was in a mosque compound. But that is besides the point. If it is prayer time, then the people should be attired for prayers. If it is time for games and exercise movements, then the clothes worn should be appropriate for the occasion.

In fact, it is this kind of human demands made upon the followers of each religion that today I am a monotheist without a religion. I strongly believe in God. When I was young I followed Taoist beliefs. There were so many practices that I could not agree to, such as the burning of joss-sticks and candles which produces so much smoke that contaminates our world. Then there were the 'don'ts' that I could not agree to. It makes God so small-minded. If God were that small minded, He could not be God as I know Him.

However, it was not just in Taoism that human rules and regulations in places of worship that has given me the impression that God is so intolerant and petty; sometimes even threatening. I have heard of threats for not being a member of a religion. I have been threatened with hell and damnation. I have read of death threats. Yet, the very lips that utter the threats are the ones that proclaim God to be compassionate. How compassionate can the human god be when, instead of patiently teaching the ignorant, he angrily demands obedience through threats. Would God behave like our human gods? In my eyes, these human gods have abused His Name and usurped His position.

That could be the reason there are still wars among nations, especially those in which religion is the cause. Religion is the cause? How can that be? God would never want his children to fight thus among themselves. Yet, it happens. And death comes in the name of religion! Ridiculous! For to be nearer God is to be nearer truth and peace as each human recognises the fact that there is only one God and his prophets come bringing with him, of course, that particular prophet's culture and practices; and that all humans are the same, just as everyone's origin is the same, Earth. No, it is not America, Arabia, India, Malaysia or china but Earth. For it is humans who divided earth into countries. There are no real boundaries dividing the earth; only on man-drawn maps. Materialistic man had wanted land he can call his own.

Coming back to the question of suitability, who created the rules that said only people thus dressed could be in such a place Again, it comes from man, not God. However, if we were to use the brain that God gave us, we always come back to suitability in the things we use, be it clothes, chairs or utensils. Wise men have always invented things that are suitable for the purpose the things are produced.

When it comes to suitability, we ought to think of the climate, the type of activity, the time and the place. Thus, in aerobics, the place is outdoors or in a gym, not in a mosque; and morning is the right time for it as it would not be too hot under a burning sun since it is done outdoors. The clothes ought to be able to absorp sweat, loose enough to enable movement but not that loose that it become cumbersome for such an activity. And when it comes to sports and exercise, let our minds be free from the physical differences between a man and a woman. The state of mind must also be suitable for aerobics.

A need for help in disciplining our children, sometimes.

Sometimes we need others to help teach our children to follow rules and regulations, to understand on matters such as dangers in the home.

There was this child who was quite pampered by the parents and the grandparents; more so the grandparents. They loved him too much to discipline him. And his demands are always met. Instead of talking about the dangers of sockets, they tried to redirect the child's attention to other things. Fortunately for the child, he was never left alone to have the opportunity to test the possibilities of plugging his fingers into the sockets in the house. When the parents are not around, they have the maid to look after his safety. Of course the poor maid's job became increasingly difficult as the child grew bigger and more desirous of trying out even more things.

There was one stage when the child wanted to play with the remote controller for the sliding gate. He enjoyed opening the gate just wide enough for any person to just squeeze himself or herself out or in. Once I saw it happen and could foresee the danger it placed the person entering or exiting the place. I told the maid but she could do little as the child demanded loudly and with cries that he be allowed to play with the gate controller.

Again, fortunately nothing untoward happened. And it was time to send the child to the kindergarten for him to mix with other children. Here, the headmistress of the kindergarten was very firm and he was among the new attendees who were firmly told not to play with sockets and fans in the place. The rules were strictly enforced and the child, for the first time in his life, understood that instructions given had to be followed. He realised he was not the 'king' of the place and he could not get away with tantrums. He learned to obey, to share and to behave correctly.

Well, it looks like sometimes there is a need for some other person in authority to teach our children the right things. Perhaps, that is why although, we as parents are the first teachers, it is good to have trained teaches to help us with our children.

Shaking hands can never be still.

"He could not hold his hands steady at any time of the day. It was shaking the whole day as if he had been handling a drill for so many hours. So whenever he is at the shop for a drink, the drink would spill out, shaken out by a constantly shivering hand," my friend told me.

And when he told me he was a drinker, an alcoholic, I knew it must be the visual symptom of a badly burnt liver. However, the guy did not realise his problem as he was stubborn and refused to see a doctor about his hand. Finally, the guy died of a stroke and so to the end of his days he did not understand that he ought not to have drunk that much.

According to this friend of mine, Shaking Hands drank everyday and would urge others to join him in his habit. His friends knew it was not a healthy habit avoided him at such times.

My friend told me he once went out with the guy and he drank so much that by the time he was driven home he could hardly recognise his own home.Upon being asked whether the building beside their vehicle was his home, he said it most probably was. The friend had to dig his keys out of his pocket and see if one of them fit the lock to get it opened before helping him to the door and carrying him in.

For those, who drink they must first understand what an alcoholic drink can do to them. They must be able to control themselves and their drinking to safeguard their health and their dignity. I know what can possibly happen because I was one of those egoistic young men who enjoyed the thrill of beating other drinkers and the alcohol. I knew the high that it could bring. Fortunately, I also knew how to control it by lowering it each time with a big glass of water and a visit to the bathroom to have it passed out. Through this method I managed to stay sober enough to beat other drinkers. I also knew when I had to stop. But be careful, arrogance can meet a drink whose kick comes all of a sudden later when it is least expected. And it could be a knockout kick at a time when you are not safely home and opened to self-indignity or disgrace.

However, before any unfortunate incident could materialise, I learned how alcohol can affect our liver and having seen and understand its effects I stopped that stupid egoistic part of me from taking me from my path of good health. Furthermore, there was nothing great about beating others and the alcohol. We kid ourselves when we presume we could do those things. The minute we succumb to alcohol, we ourselves are already one step into a pothole. And the people you beat would never think you any better. As for myself, I am always aware that I could remain the last man standing because I cheated with the cups of water. So what is so great about that?

Do not put obstacles into the path of the learning child.

What can possibly happen when a child is given the understanding that his future is planned for him so that there is no necessity for him to worry about a job or any financial situations in his life?

And if that child happens to be a student, what would be that child's attitude towards schooling? Perhaps, some children could still want to study to improve himself. Some may even want to study even harder because he understands that he must be capable enough to manage not just ordinary workers but professionals as well.

However, as a retired teacher who was in charge of a class where one of the students qualify to be the child I am thinking of in this posting, I found such a child to be arrogant.

From the very first day I entered that class, he clearly indicated that he was there not to study but to enjoy himself. First, he does not tuck in his shirt. My first duty to him was to teach him that there are rules to be followed and the most basic one was to be properly attired. Being a gymnastics coach as well as a physical education instructor, I was no weakling. He knew it and getting him to wear his clothes properly was easy but the problem came when he always wore slippers. I told him about the right foot-wear to use, even had him sent home but, with the help of his parents, he managed to get away with wearing slippers to school so often.

In fact, the mother even had the temerity to show up at a Tai-Chi class I was attending and told me to let her son be. Another lady who happened to be her friend was at the same class and when this friend heard her tell me off, she was shocked sufficiently to speak up and inform her that she was the one who was teaching the child bad behaviour and ought to apologise to me. That was a good one! That boy's mother must have cursed her misfortune at meeting her friend there, a friend brave enough to tell her off.

I would say that the mother got what she deserved. Thinking they were rich, the parents thought education and good manners were not necessary for their children. So, their poor child in my class would be absent every now and then for no valid reasons other than that he wanted to follow the father to another part of the country or overseas. Of course, as expected, he lost a lot of studying hours and eventually failed his final examination.

According to that child, there was nothing to be worried about as his father's position would be his one day. The unfortunate thing is that the child refused to think further than that even when I asked him about his other brothers and sisters. That has always been the trouble with undeveloped brains which could not visualise further into the future.

In a way I was helpless to do anything much for him as no advice, talk or discussion could lead anywhere but the belief that he did not need a paper qualification(Well, I must admit i have to agree with them on this to a certain extent.), knowledge or correct behaviour in his life as he will be the one in charge and others would have to behave properly, listen and follow his instructions.

Well, his first teachers, his parents, had certainly taught him well about being the boss in his parents' factory. They have done their job a little too well and others find it difficult to undo the harm they have done.

With such an attitude, without sufficient knowledge or the right behaviour, would this child do well in life? As far as I know, he did not. I only hope that it is not too late for the school of hard-knocks to bring some positive changes to him.

What money can do to an individual.

If you are a millionaire, would you give each of your non-working children Five thousand ringgit a month as their allowance? Of course, you can afford it. nobody can deny that! But what are the possible consequences to a developing attitude towards money?

That amount of money is not earned by them. In a way, it is free. There is no worry about repayment. Those children would not need to think twice about purchasing most things, especially when they know the next five thousand ringgit will be coming their way in at the most thirty days' time. With such a sum what is ten, hundred or two hundred ringgit? How many value would they place on their money?

Perhaps it is difficult for most of us who do not get five thousand ringgit a month as pocket money when the average professionals are getting approximately two to three thousand ringgit at the beginning of their career to understand how these young people would feel. For those who are not professionals it could be about a thousand.

So, I would now go to a true story of Malaysians who can afford to give each of their children not just five thousand monthly pocket money but also a Mercedes to drive around. This is a story of someone in Klang. One of the children came out of a university and applied for a job. At the interview, he was told that he would be paid two thousand five hundred ringgit each month. Upon hearing that, the shocked young man told the interviewer that he receives five thousand a month from his parents without putting in any work. Of course, the interviewer told the man he has come to the wrong place if he expects more than the amount they were offering him. They bluntly told him to get a job from his parents. They fear not that he would not accept a position in their company for a man who is so haughty would certainly have no place in a workplace where respect and pay is due to an individual for his ability to perform in the company.

Now pay and pocket money are two totally different things. Pay is given for the expected work of the individual. Pocket money comes from love and responsiblity towards the receiver. Would a person with such a huge amount of pocket money value his post in a company which is only willing to value his work at two thousand five hundred ringgit? It would obviously be difficult. Such an employee would not have second thoughts about quitting for any slight disagreement, discomfort or misunderstanding. Such a person can never be an asset to the company.

Of course, since the parents are millionaires and must be owning a big company, getting a job is not a problem as he could easily be absorbed into the parents' company. But, if all the children are expecting the parents' company to give them top posts and big pay, will they be an asset to their own company? Well, frankly, we can never know. I have heard of sibling quarreling over positions and money and how such companies can collapse. However, there are also those that went from strength to strength.

No matter what can possibly happen, cultivating the right attitude towards money is important as money management is just as important as other managements in life.

Tomorrow I shall tell you about an ex-student and his attitude towards studies as a result of great wealth splurged on him at a very young age.

Know your machines well.

One day, a friend took his brother's car to go someplace. This friend has his own car which has automatic gears whereas his brother's was a manual model. First, when he had to stop at a traffic light, he forgot to press the clutch and the engine died. It so happened that the light turned green immediately after and so he had to put back the clutch in neutral before starting the engine and moving on. In the meantime the car behind him became impatient and honed him, causing his temperature to rise. Fortunately, other than this minor problem, nothing more serious occurred.

When I was told this, my memory took me to more than fifteen years ago when a relative's family member was involved in an accident that need not have happened. Two married couples had gone to Genting Highlands for a weekend of fun. As they were going to leave on a Sunday evening, they met a close friend who drove a powerful, newly bought car there. One of them, the driver, admired the new car so much that the close friend offered him the car to be driven back. So, they exchanged cars.

As they drove home that evening, the driver was so pleased with the handling of the car that he tested its power. And this is where he made his fatal mistake. He had never learned not to test the unknown on a busy highway. Well, fate claimed their lives that night as their car went out of control, skidded and crashed so badly that none of the occupants survived.

The highway is certainly not the place to test anything. It is constantly in use by vehicles going faster than on other roads. As far as i am concerned, vehicles can be as deadly as guns. They can kill if they are not controlled properly; the dead could be their handlers or others in their path. Before we allowed our metal horse to speed or maneuver in any way, we must know it well. We should know how stable it is at certain speeds, understand how fast it can be reined in, and when doing so, does it have the tendency to perform erratically. All these we have to know before we can drive with confidence that our lives will be safe.

In fact, it is not just vehicles alone that we ought to know and understand well before we use them. Electricity, electrical tools and all types of machinery ought to be understood well before we attempt to operate them. Women workers had been known to have their hair caught and pulled towards rolling metal in factories. Understanding dangers is important wherever we may be.

This also will pass.

Truth always prevails, no matter where it may be from. As a member of The Art of Living, I received this message from Guruji, its founder. As I found this message essential for the emotional welfare of all humans on earth, I sincerely hope that by sharing it with as many people as possible, the world can become an even better place for all of us.

Well, please read on and absorb the wisdom:


Dearest All,
Jai Gurudev
A beautiful message and story from Guru Ji (Sri Sri Ravi Shankar of AOL)
Wish to share with you all……….

"THIS ALSO WILL PASS"

Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them,” Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstances, in every place and every time; in every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory? Is there an answer for this question? Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me? Tell me is there any mantra?”

All the wise men were puzzled by the King’s question. They thought and thought. After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to the king and gave him something written on paper, with a condition that the king was not to see it, out of curiosity.

Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he can see it. The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.

Some time later, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom. The King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. The King had to flee on his horse. The enemies were following him, getting closer and closer. Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road - that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished…and he could not return because it was a small road…the sound of enemy’s horses was approaching fast. The King became restless. There seemed to be no way.

Then suddenly, the King saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring. He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was – “THIS ALSO WILL PASS”.

The King read it. Again, he read it. Suddenly something struck him - Yes! This also will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all my pleasures have gone! I am here trying to escape from enemies. Like those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too, will pass! A calmness came upon the King's face. He kept standing there. The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom.

The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy was receding. They had moved into some other part of the mountains near him.

The King was very brave. He re-organized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his empire. When the King returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fanfare. The whole capital rejoiced in the victory.

Everyone was in a festive mood. Flowers were being showered on the King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment the King said to himself, “I am one of the bravest and greatest king. It is not easy to defeat me. With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him!

Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded the King of the message. He opened it and read it again - “THIS ALSO WILL PASS”.

The king became silent! His face went through a total change - from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness. If this too is going to pass, it is not yours! The defeat was not yours! The victory is not yours! You are just a watcher! Everything passes by. We are witnesses of all this. We are the perceivers. Life comes and goes. Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.

Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. This too will pass. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent? They all come and pass away.

Life just passes away. There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows. All have passed away. The problems in the present, they too will pass away because nothing remains forever. Joy and sorrow are the two faces of the same coin. They both will pass away.

You are just a witness of change. Experience it, understand it, and enjoy the present moment - THIS ALSO WILL PASS !

May God bless you all