The five siblings and their inheritance.

"Wait, I am the eldest and therefore I make the decisions in this house now that father is no longer around," the biggest of the children told the others. The others looked at each other, unhappy with the situation, yet fearful of saying what they had in mind. Silent, that is until one of them felt he had to have his say or be pushed out of his rightful part of the inheritance.
"But the decision is not fair. You have been enjoying yourself, disappearing from this shop most of the time, leaving the four of us doing the work around here," the second son protested.
"What's that? Do you understand that the eldest is the one who takes over and become the head of the family. The head of the family makes the decision and everyone else must agree to it. Do you understand that?"
There was a lot of grumbling and unhappy faces with the second son the most vociferous about the injustice of sharing the shop with the eldest who had always been away somewhere else. This eventually lead to a quarrel among the siblings and the latest was the possibility of the matter being taken to the court.

What has transpired? Their father has just passed away without a will and not sufficient wealth to make every son happy. All he had left them was a big electrical shop. How could a shop be shared among five brothers, four of whom were already married. How much can the shop provide in a day or a month? Could the earnings from that shop be enough to feed the brothers and their families when they have to get dwellings of their own. Certainly, they cannot continue occupying the already crowded top floor.

What had happened? It was actually the father's fault that the five siblings had to face such a predicament. You see, the children were not exactly stupid. If they had been given the opportunity to strike out on their own as soon as they stopped their schooling, most of them, if not all, would have been able to find good jobs or develop their own businesses. Unfortunately, the old man had conventional ideas that the family must be together and work together for the wealth of the family. In those days, the sons were usually made use of and they become the unpaid workers in the shop. Of course, in return they have a secure job, a sense of belonging as they are also the bosses in their own shop and life was easy as the family or staff was sufficiently big to make everyone's job easy.

The problem only emerged when the father passed away and the question of who the rightful boss was arose. Even if everyone of them is the boss, someone had to head the organisation and manage the money. Who is going to trust who to control the money and divide the earnings? When it comes to money, even members of the same family will face some problems. And such problems are practically insurmountable. Brothers become no longer that close especially when a court case or some authority finally decides how the property is to be divided.

That is why a will is important, especially when the property is big enough to fight for. It will stop any misunderstanding and even if there is disatisfaction, it can only be directed at the one who has passed away and that is harmless as that one is no longer able to suffer anything more.

Another thing is the allowing of children to go out and establish their own future, no matter how much wealth is at stake. And this is how the story came to my ears. I met a relative of one of those siblings and he was repeating the mistake of his father, not allowing his child to further his studies but made to concentrate on his business. This relative told me he had no alternative but to point to that sibling's problems at the time of his father's demise as a lesson. The relative did not wish to have him make the same mistake.

The adventure of a lifetime.

What do we do if we encounter a wall in our path to our destination? Some would give up. Others may just go back the way they have come. Perhaps those choices are safer. Then there are those who would look for tools to knock down part of that wall to reach the other side. That would be tough; somewhat difficult but it is certainly better than losing hope or retracing one's step. Now what if there are no tools?

How long can a wall be? Even the Great Wall of China has an ending. It is also not easy but then there is always a way to the other side where our destination is. Be it to the left or the right, there will come an opening or the end of the wall. All it needs is our effort.

As someone said, "There are many roads to Rome." and I would say, "There are many paths to God." Similarly, there are many roads or paths to our destination in life. The way through life is so wide that we find many lanes along it. What kind of path or road that we encounter depends upon our choice.

Yes, the choice is ours. How we made the choice depends upon the teaching of our parents and the people who brought us up. Those who have never encountered difficulty give up the minute they encounter a problem. Those who have the tools and the knowledge to use them can overcome the obstacles and gain pride and experience in the process. However, even if we lack the proper tools, there are still many ways to overcome the seemingly insurmountable. Just go around it and emerge with even greater hope and understanding of the world and its potholes as well as the knowledge that there are so many ways to discover solutions.

In fact, not knowing what lies ahead is not a deterrent. Rather, it is the incentive to our curiosity to venture forth and enjoy life for what it is; an adventure of a lifetime.

Have the right tools for the job.

This evening, at about 4 o'clock, three friends of mine went together with me on a hike into unknown territory at the hill. It had been raining before we reached the hill. Despite the rain, we decided to go ahead with our plan to discover a certain area some Hash House members have been planning to go. We were told it would be interesting terrain with unfamiliar paths, slopes and further than the usual routes we have explored, perhaps needing approximately two and a half hours for fit hikers.

I had on a fairly cheap China-made, studded shoes for hiking while the others have their more expensive trekking shoes. Anyway, I was comfortable with my pair and was making good speed. across and over the hill. Then we reached a place where we had to climb up a steep slope with wet, yellow, clayey soil. It is here that my pair of cheap hiking shoes prove themselves to be very suitable for their grip on the thick, slippery clay.

One of the friends who had a more expensive pair of shoes found that his shoes could find no grip on the slippery slope and fell a number of times. Each slope that presented no plant or tree for him to grip onto caused him great concern for his safety. It was only with great difficulty that he eventually reached the top.

It was a lesson for him as he realised his shoes were just not good enough for the job. Yes, in difficult places, the right shoes for the type of slopes are indeed important.

With the ease with which I trekked together, it reaffirmed the fact that it is the right type of soles of the shoes that matters and not the price. That, in fact, has been known to me for some times, as I also have shoes that cost five to six times as much as my present pair and they are seldom used; used only when I am sure the path will not be too slippery and the grip on the ground would not be a problem.

I believe it is not just shoes when it comes to suitability of tools or equipment in any activity. Suitability is in fact of utmost importance in practically every sphere of life.

Learning how to demand.

The child yelled loudly and stomped his feet demanding that he be given a kind of food kept in the refrigerator. Despite the parents explanations about it being too close to lunch time for him to have such a snack, he continued to shout and cried at the top of his voice. And the result? He knew he would get what he wanted. And he did. He got his snack, no matter almost lunch time or not. Yes, children learn fast. He has learned the use of a tool for successfully obtaining things.

Who taught him how to use this tool? It is the first adult who inadvertently gave in to his demand through crying. This adult rewarded his behaviour. It proves to the child such crying brings results. Then, as the second and third crying episode reinforce the fact that adults' resolve melts to cries for things, the belief that this is an excellent method is consolidated with all those successes.

So, never pay any attention to a crying demand. Tolerate the noise for ten or fifteen minutes and soon the weeping will subside and he would understand that crying does not work with his parents or those people who do not encourage it. For this child, experience would have taught him not to cry for things but use more subtle ways to persuade and explain the need for something. It is also the right and acceptable way to finding success in life. In life, people look upon loud demands with aghast. However, if people are approached properly and given the right explanations, they can be persuaded to act in accordance with the desire of the speaker.

As it is bad upbringing to cultivate such behaviour as crying and loud demands, parents ought to not bow down to it but ignore the child. If the food demanded is good for the child, when the crying has stop for some time, give the food to him/her. And when doing so, tell the child quietly, that he must never use crying to get things; that things that are good for the child would be given when asked for properly.

For example, if we know our children likes yogurt, buy it even before he/she asks for it. And to encourage good mannerisms, buy happily what is requested in a proper manner. It teaches the child that good manners and behaviour lead to correct attention to needs.

This is in fact what leads to us having the different types of children in this world; those who are loud and rude as well as those who are proper and polite; those who stride out with confidence and those who lack it. All these behaviours are the results of actions and teaching from their first teacher, the first people they come into contact with since birth, most probably the parents.

So, parents are the most important people in this world. The future of the world and this universe depends upon them. Whatever the results, we stand to suffer or benefit from them.

Of course, it is not totally the parents who bear full responsibility, for the adult is moulded by not just the parents, although parents usually have the most influence, but also other people in learning institutions and society; almost everyone the child comes into contact with.

To be a better man/woman.

Folks, here is a story from an email which will bring tears to your eyes as it did mine for it is charged with such beautiful human emotions. Let us learn from the father and the members of both teams and understand that when opportunities arise for us to show our true human nature, we ought to respond accordingly as required by our instincts.

Well, you will definitely get more from the story than any number of words that I write. So, read on.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Two Choices
What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one.. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fund-raising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.
Where is the natural order of things in my son?'
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!
Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

May your day, be a Shay Day.

I am the one to be blamed.

One day, I received an email that was certainly only for men’s eyes only as what was attached could be offensive to the opposite sex. Then, inadvertently, I forwarded it to some lady friends. In fact I did not realise that I had done so until a friend responded by informing me that a turned on vacuum hose on me could give myself the same feeling. It was then only that I knew that that email had been forwarded to some ladies. Of course, the damage had been done. There was nothing I could do about the mistake except make apologies to all concerned.

It was a most embarrassing thought for me. How could it have happened? I remembered wanting to forward an email concerning lead in lipstick to those ladies but…… I just do not understand how I could have done it. Nothing else could be done. The mistake is obviously mine. What could have all those ladies thought of me? I know my apologies might not be sufficient but it is just like spilt milk or drink. Nothing could be done.

Well, it has certainly taught me a lesson. In future, I will exercise more caution in forwarding emails, checking the contents carefully before sending them off. It is actually one email I would not forward to anybody. Yet, I did it. And the unfortunate part is that I did not even realise it had been forwarded. Even now, as I write about it, I wondered what could have happened to my mind and me to have it forwarded. And the worst part is not remembering having done it. Was it Alzheimer? No! I have no such problem. Not yet, anyway.

What is obvious is that it certainly is my mistake. The terrifying part is sending without realizing. How is that possible? Imagine! I even send it to my sister-in-law. What a thing to send her? What would she think? I just don’t know.
Well, what I do know is that I will be forwarding less email. I would need to double check to ensure everything is as I wish it to be. There must be no more such mistakes. Such mistakes leave me too much embarrassment as myself know, no matter how it came about, I am the one to be blamed.

A healthy lifestyle.

Yesterday I had stated that it has been raining almost every evening and there were times i was caught in the rain. While some catch cold I got nothing to show for it. This is one instance when getting nothing is most welcome. I may like to catch a falling star or a girl but not for me the miserable cold.

Thinking back, it is not luck but a healthy lifestyle which keep me strong, fit and healthy. And it all starts with minimal stress. Stress can be good as it comes sometimes with excitement and joy but too much of it had once upon a time robbed me of much needed sleep and rest.

Then, I am grateful for the early morning hike up the hill where, at the level path at the top, I could run at speed, rest and run again, bringing forth the pails of sweat through the pores of my body. And because of this, my body smells good as the outpouring sweat removes dirt and gives me a good cleanse. By the time I skip and hop down the slope to the foot of the hill I am always drenched as one who has gone through a shower.

As for food which many doctors and researchers will tell you can either bring sickness or health to the body, i choose, most of the time anyway, those that give me health. At most meals, I either take rice or fruits and vegetables with some meat.

Through knowledge from researchers, I understand that fast food, food that is processed, most saturated fats and too well-cooked food are bad for our health. Therefore, my food consists of rice, some fish, raw vegetables, some steamed or lightly cooked vegetables, beans, healthy oils and a little meat with lots of spices.

At this point, there may be someone who would point out that meat and/or fish are not healthy. Going vegetarian, according to some, is the way to healthy eating. To these people, I wish to point to the four sharp, Dracula-type of teeth in our mouth. The teeth in our mouth indicate otherwise. Our ancestors did hunt for animals as food though the faster and bigger ones were not within their reach. Another thing that keeps me from going 100% vegan is the fact that our body needs vitamin B12 badly and a totally vegetable diet can never give our body sufficient amount of this vitamin. And as far as I am concerned vitamin supplement is a last resort.

Of course, when it comes to the rules of a religion, those who belong to it must follow for they are believers. I have no argument regarding such matter for we have to respect what a religion requires its members to do. For them, there are still some where B12 can be available in small amounts, especially in fermented food. Of course, some of them need to resort to supplements to avoid B12 deficiency.

Water is another important factor in our health. So often we forget to replenish the water in our body. sometimes, especially the women, it is not due to forgetfulness but the hope that they do not have to embarrassed themselves with visits to the washrooms or the toilets, mostly when they go shopping. For them it is better to dehydrate the body than to search for places to lighten the bladder.

Most times, we only search for water when we are really thirsty. Thirst actually is the emergency call for water by our body. When there is insufficient water in our body, blood thickens and slows down circulation, slowing the supply of oxygen to the lungs, the organs and the rest of the body, affecting the efficiency of every important part; the waste movement slows down in the liver, the kidneys and the skin while those at the big intestines hardens. From this, it is obvious the importance of water to our health.

Of course, without air, there can be no life. But what kind of air do we breathe each day? What is its quality? At the hill, for at least an hour, I get to empty the stale air and suffuse my lungs with fresh morning air from among the trees there. I try not to be near smoke although nowadays that seem to be practically impossible. So, whenever I can, my friends and I escape to the green areas, to some places far away from vehicles, factories and smokers where trees, streams and waterfalls bring serenity and healthy joy.