Friday, December 31, 2010

A need for help in disciplining our children, sometimes.

Sometimes we need others to help teach our children to follow rules and regulations, to understand on matters such as dangers in the home.

There was this child who was quite pampered by the parents and the grandparents; more so the grandparents. They loved him too much to discipline him. And his demands are always met. Instead of talking about the dangers of sockets, they tried to redirect the child's attention to other things. Fortunately for the child, he was never left alone to have the opportunity to test the possibilities of plugging his fingers into the sockets in the house. When the parents are not around, they have the maid to look after his safety. Of course the poor maid's job became increasingly difficult as the child grew bigger and more desirous of trying out even more things.

There was one stage when the child wanted to play with the remote controller for the sliding gate. He enjoyed opening the gate just wide enough for any person to just squeeze himself or herself out or in. Once I saw it happen and could foresee the danger it placed the person entering or exiting the place. I told the maid but she could do little as the child demanded loudly and with cries that he be allowed to play with the gate controller.

Again, fortunately nothing untoward happened. And it was time to send the child to the kindergarten for him to mix with other children. Here, the headmistress of the kindergarten was very firm and he was among the new attendees who were firmly told not to play with sockets and fans in the place. The rules were strictly enforced and the child, for the first time in his life, understood that instructions given had to be followed. He realised he was not the 'king' of the place and he could not get away with tantrums. He learned to obey, to share and to behave correctly.

Well, it looks like sometimes there is a need for some other person in authority to teach our children the right things. Perhaps, that is why although, we as parents are the first teachers, it is good to have trained teaches to help us with our children.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Shaking hands can never be still.

"He could not hold his hands steady at any time of the day. It was shaking the whole day as if he had been handling a drill for so many hours. So whenever he is at the shop for a drink, the drink would spill out, shaken out by a constantly shivering hand," my friend told me.

And when he told me he was a drinker, an alcoholic, I knew it must be the visual symptom of a badly burnt liver. However, the guy did not realise his problem as he was stubborn and refused to see a doctor about his hand. Finally, the guy died of a stroke and so to the end of his days he did not understand that he ought not to have drunk that much.

According to this friend of mine, Shaking Hands drank everyday and would urge others to join him in his habit. His friends knew it was not a healthy habit avoided him at such times.

My friend told me he once went out with the guy and he drank so much that by the time he was driven home he could hardly recognise his own home.Upon being asked whether the building beside their vehicle was his home, he said it most probably was. The friend had to dig his keys out of his pocket and see if one of them fit the lock to get it opened before helping him to the door and carrying him in.

For those, who drink they must first understand what an alcoholic drink can do to them. They must be able to control themselves and their drinking to safeguard their health and their dignity. I know what can possibly happen because I was one of those egoistic young men who enjoyed the thrill of beating other drinkers and the alcohol. I knew the high that it could bring. Fortunately, I also knew how to control it by lowering it each time with a big glass of water and a visit to the bathroom to have it passed out. Through this method I managed to stay sober enough to beat other drinkers. I also knew when I had to stop. But be careful, arrogance can meet a drink whose kick comes all of a sudden later when it is least expected. And it could be a knockout kick at a time when you are not safely home and opened to self-indignity or disgrace.

However, before any unfortunate incident could materialise, I learned how alcohol can affect our liver and having seen and understand its effects I stopped that stupid egoistic part of me from taking me from my path of good health. Furthermore, there was nothing great about beating others and the alcohol. We kid ourselves when we presume we could do those things. The minute we succumb to alcohol, we ourselves are already one step into a pothole. And the people you beat would never think you any better. As for myself, I am always aware that I could remain the last man standing because I cheated with the cups of water. So what is so great about that?

Do not put obstacles into the path of the learning child.

What can possibly happen when a child is given the understanding that his future is planned for him so that there is no necessity for him to worry about a job or any financial situations in his life?

And if that child happens to be a student, what would be that child's attitude towards schooling? Perhaps, some children could still want to study to improve himself. Some may even want to study even harder because he understands that he must be capable enough to manage not just ordinary workers but professionals as well.

However, as a retired teacher who was in charge of a class where one of the students qualify to be the child I am thinking of in this posting, I found such a child to be arrogant.

From the very first day I entered that class, he clearly indicated that he was there not to study but to enjoy himself. First, he does not tuck in his shirt. My first duty to him was to teach him that there are rules to be followed and the most basic one was to be properly attired. Being a gymnastics coach as well as a physical education instructor, I was no weakling. He knew it and getting him to wear his clothes properly was easy but the problem came when he always wore slippers. I told him about the right foot-wear to use, even had him sent home but, with the help of his parents, he managed to get away with wearing slippers to school so often.

In fact, the mother even had the temerity to show up at a Tai-Chi class I was attending and told me to let her son be. Another lady who happened to be her friend was at the same class and when this friend heard her tell me off, she was shocked sufficiently to speak up and inform her that she was the one who was teaching the child bad behaviour and ought to apologise to me. That was a good one! That boy's mother must have cursed her misfortune at meeting her friend there, a friend brave enough to tell her off.

I would say that the mother got what she deserved. Thinking they were rich, the parents thought education and good manners were not necessary for their children. So, their poor child in my class would be absent every now and then for no valid reasons other than that he wanted to follow the father to another part of the country or overseas. Of course, as expected, he lost a lot of studying hours and eventually failed his final examination.

According to that child, there was nothing to be worried about as his father's position would be his one day. The unfortunate thing is that the child refused to think further than that even when I asked him about his other brothers and sisters. That has always been the trouble with undeveloped brains which could not visualise further into the future.

In a way I was helpless to do anything much for him as no advice, talk or discussion could lead anywhere but the belief that he did not need a paper qualification(Well, I must admit i have to agree with them on this to a certain extent.), knowledge or correct behaviour in his life as he will be the one in charge and others would have to behave properly, listen and follow his instructions.

Well, his first teachers, his parents, had certainly taught him well about being the boss in his parents' factory. They have done their job a little too well and others find it difficult to undo the harm they have done.

With such an attitude, without sufficient knowledge or the right behaviour, would this child do well in life? As far as I know, he did not. I only hope that it is not too late for the school of hard-knocks to bring some positive changes to him.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

What money can do to an individual.

If you are a millionaire, would you give each of your non-working children Five thousand ringgit a month as their allowance? Of course, you can afford it. nobody can deny that! But what are the possible consequences to a developing attitude towards money?

That amount of money is not earned by them. In a way, it is free. There is no worry about repayment. Those children would not need to think twice about purchasing most things, especially when they know the next five thousand ringgit will be coming their way in at the most thirty days' time. With such a sum what is ten, hundred or two hundred ringgit? How many value would they place on their money?

Perhaps it is difficult for most of us who do not get five thousand ringgit a month as pocket money when the average professionals are getting approximately two to three thousand ringgit at the beginning of their career to understand how these young people would feel. For those who are not professionals it could be about a thousand.

So, I would now go to a true story of Malaysians who can afford to give each of their children not just five thousand monthly pocket money but also a Mercedes to drive around. This is a story of someone in Klang. One of the children came out of a university and applied for a job. At the interview, he was told that he would be paid two thousand five hundred ringgit each month. Upon hearing that, the shocked young man told the interviewer that he receives five thousand a month from his parents without putting in any work. Of course, the interviewer told the man he has come to the wrong place if he expects more than the amount they were offering him. They bluntly told him to get a job from his parents. They fear not that he would not accept a position in their company for a man who is so haughty would certainly have no place in a workplace where respect and pay is due to an individual for his ability to perform in the company.

Now pay and pocket money are two totally different things. Pay is given for the expected work of the individual. Pocket money comes from love and responsiblity towards the receiver. Would a person with such a huge amount of pocket money value his post in a company which is only willing to value his work at two thousand five hundred ringgit? It would obviously be difficult. Such an employee would not have second thoughts about quitting for any slight disagreement, discomfort or misunderstanding. Such a person can never be an asset to the company.

Of course, since the parents are millionaires and must be owning a big company, getting a job is not a problem as he could easily be absorbed into the parents' company. But, if all the children are expecting the parents' company to give them top posts and big pay, will they be an asset to their own company? Well, frankly, we can never know. I have heard of sibling quarreling over positions and money and how such companies can collapse. However, there are also those that went from strength to strength.

No matter what can possibly happen, cultivating the right attitude towards money is important as money management is just as important as other managements in life.

Tomorrow I shall tell you about an ex-student and his attitude towards studies as a result of great wealth splurged on him at a very young age.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Know your machines well.

One day, a friend took his brother's car to go someplace. This friend has his own car which has automatic gears whereas his brother's was a manual model. First, when he had to stop at a traffic light, he forgot to press the clutch and the engine died. It so happened that the light turned green immediately after and so he had to put back the clutch in neutral before starting the engine and moving on. In the meantime the car behind him became impatient and honed him, causing his temperature to rise. Fortunately, other than this minor problem, nothing more serious occurred.

When I was told this, my memory took me to more than fifteen years ago when a relative's family member was involved in an accident that need not have happened. Two married couples had gone to Genting Highlands for a weekend of fun. As they were going to leave on a Sunday evening, they met a close friend who drove a powerful, newly bought car there. One of them, the driver, admired the new car so much that the close friend offered him the car to be driven back. So, they exchanged cars.

As they drove home that evening, the driver was so pleased with the handling of the car that he tested its power. And this is where he made his fatal mistake. He had never learned not to test the unknown on a busy highway. Well, fate claimed their lives that night as their car went out of control, skidded and crashed so badly that none of the occupants survived.

The highway is certainly not the place to test anything. It is constantly in use by vehicles going faster than on other roads. As far as i am concerned, vehicles can be as deadly as guns. They can kill if they are not controlled properly; the dead could be their handlers or others in their path. Before we allowed our metal horse to speed or maneuver in any way, we must know it well. We should know how stable it is at certain speeds, understand how fast it can be reined in, and when doing so, does it have the tendency to perform erratically. All these we have to know before we can drive with confidence that our lives will be safe.

In fact, it is not just vehicles alone that we ought to know and understand well before we use them. Electricity, electrical tools and all types of machinery ought to be understood well before we attempt to operate them. Women workers had been known to have their hair caught and pulled towards rolling metal in factories. Understanding dangers is important wherever we may be.

Monday, December 20, 2010

This also will pass.

Truth always prevails, no matter where it may be from. As a member of The Art of Living, I received this message from Guruji, its founder. As I found this message essential for the emotional welfare of all humans on earth, I sincerely hope that by sharing it with as many people as possible, the world can become an even better place for all of us.

Well, please read on and absorb the wisdom:


Dearest All,
Jai Gurudev
A beautiful message and story from Guru Ji (Sri Sri Ravi Shankar of AOL)
Wish to share with you all……….

"THIS ALSO WILL PASS"

Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them,” Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstances, in every place and every time; in every joy, every sorrow, every defeat and every victory? Is there an answer for this question? Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me? Tell me is there any mantra?”

All the wise men were puzzled by the King’s question. They thought and thought. After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to the king and gave him something written on paper, with a condition that the king was not to see it, out of curiosity.

Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he can see it. The King put the papers under his Diamond ring.

Some time later, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom. The King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. The King had to flee on his horse. The enemies were following him, getting closer and closer. Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road - that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished…and he could not return because it was a small road…the sound of enemy’s horses was approaching fast. The King became restless. There seemed to be no way.

Then suddenly, the King saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring. He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was – “THIS ALSO WILL PASS”.

The King read it. Again, he read it. Suddenly something struck him - Yes! This also will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all my pleasures have gone! I am here trying to escape from enemies. Like those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too, will pass! A calmness came upon the King's face. He kept standing there. The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom.

The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy was receding. They had moved into some other part of the mountains near him.

The King was very brave. He re-organized his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his empire. When the King returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fanfare. The whole capital rejoiced in the victory.

Everyone was in a festive mood. Flowers were being showered on the King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment the King said to himself, “I am one of the bravest and greatest king. It is not easy to defeat me. With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him!

Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded the King of the message. He opened it and read it again - “THIS ALSO WILL PASS”.

The king became silent! His face went through a total change - from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness. If this too is going to pass, it is not yours! The defeat was not yours! The victory is not yours! You are just a watcher! Everything passes by. We are witnesses of all this. We are the perceivers. Life comes and goes. Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.

Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your own life. This too will pass. Think of the moments of joy and victory in your life. Think of the moment of sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent? They all come and pass away.

Life just passes away. There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows. All have passed away. The problems in the present, they too will pass away because nothing remains forever. Joy and sorrow are the two faces of the same coin. They both will pass away.

You are just a witness of change. Experience it, understand it, and enjoy the present moment - THIS ALSO WILL PASS !

May God bless you all

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The first Kayak Challenge.


One side of the medal given to all participants who complete the race.


The other side of the medal given.


Kayaks are ready for the participants to use.


The canoes or kayak which were numbered assembled at the Semeling jetty. Every two participants are allotted a number and that was the number of their kayak.


There are more than a hundred kayaks ready for the event.


And this is the Semeling River and this picture is taken at the starting point.


Boats at the jetty where the starting point was. The Semeling bridge is in the background.


Mangrove trees near the jetty. These mangrove trees line the river up to the sea at Pantai Merdeka.


Md Zin and some of the acquaintances we made.


Getting acquainted with other participants. The one in the red T-shirt is the blogger.


And here's the long Semeling Bridge.


One of the participants looking for his kayak.


And here's my friend with our kayak in front of him.




And the participants are taking their kayak down to the river.


And the kayaks go into the river at the jetty.


























The first runners-up in the challenge receiving their prizes.




The young man who has one leg too short. He got a present for being the only disabled person in the challenge.


The oldest participant given a hamper by the organisers.


The most senior participant at age sixty-four years; that's me, the blogger.


The hamper I was given.


A beautiful view of a structure at Pantai Merdeka, probably for the life-guards.

*************************
On Saturday, Eager to join in the fun of paddling a canoe down the river from Semeling in Central Kedah to Pantai Merdeka, I awoke before the alarm for six-thirty sounded. It was still dark at five in the morning.

Using the time allowed me to relax and do something else I turned to this blog and wrote one of my postings. At that time of the morning, the speed of the line was good and I went in easily unlike the past few days when I was told the server could not be found.

When I finished writing at six, there was still sufficient time for me to go out and hunt for my breakfast, a packet of rice, half an egg and fish. To this I added my finely sliced raw organic vegetable which I grow in my own garden.

Dressed for the event, I searched for bananas which is a useful convenient food for quick energy. Then I fetched my partner, Md Zin, and we headed for Semeling at seven-fifty. He was waiting for me outside his house, just as anxious to be on the move to the canoeing event. We reached the place at about eight o'clock. We met the organisors of the meet whom I have been introduced to three days earlier when i volunteered to help take one of the canoes from a beach near Pulau Sayak to Semeling. We were told the number of our canoe. By nine o'clock, we had taken the canoe down to the river. In the meantime the sky was threatening to wet all the participants. That did not cool our enthusiasm even a little bit. In fact, for me, one who has always enjoyed being in the rain, I was happy at the thought of refreshing rain dripping onto my face and body as my body heated up in the coming activity.

Md. Zin and I paddled for a short while to warm up for the kayak challenge. Then, we exchanged talk with the other participants instead as we did not wish to tire out ourselves. It was a event in which we had to paddle a distance of eighteen kilometres.

Then at ten o'clock, all one hundred and five canoes lined up across the river to start. The prize for the first forty persons to arrive at Pantai Merdeka beach was a hundred ringgit. Looking around most of the participants were young men and women not more than forty years old. The older ones were about fifty years old. All of them looked fit, tough and strong.

After the start, it was non-stop paddling all the way to Pantai Merdeka. Of course, we did stop to drink water three times during the race. It was a beautiful morning with a cool breeze and a few drops of welcome rain on the way. We passed mangrove swamps, mobile platforms of fish cages patrolled by dogs. There were sparsely populated villages along the river sides and sometimes we had to struggle against the current as it tried to move us out of our course. One canoe, the type which was built with air trapped inside the bottom of the canoe, capsized and they occupants of the canoe had a difficult time climbing back into the canoe. Luckily for them, a few patrol boats were at hand to pick them up and assist them.

In two and a half hours our canoe reached Pantai Merdeka where more than sixty canoes had already beached. We were later told that some arrived more than half an hour after us. The minute we climbed out of our canoe, we were greeted by the organisers, one of who put a metal around our neck. For me it was one interesting and much sought for experience, that day being the second time, I have ever paddled one.

After a good meal, we attended the closing ceremony, where the prizes were given away by a lady from Tourism Malaysia, Kedah. After which there were eighty lucky draws for things donated by some companies, sports bodies and universities. Hampers were given to the youngest, oldest, a disabled and a foreigner participant of the day's event and the oldest at sixty-five years of age was me!

After that we had to thumb a lift to Semeling where I had parked my car. Tired, no doubt about that, but full of gratefulness for the opportunity to be a part of that wonderful, thrilling paddling against the current as the water moved upstream. And I proved to myself that i am still game to take on many things in life even with very much younger people as my competitors. What a beautiful exuberant day it has turned out to be!
(Photos cannot be loaded as the line is very, very slow.)

Friday, December 17, 2010

Be aware that childrem learn fast.

"F*** you," he shouted to the sister.
The mother was shocked at the words the first time she heard it from her son. "What did you say?" she inquired the little son who has just returned from the kindergarten.
Laughing with delight at the mother's astonishment at his mastery of words in just a few hours, he replied, "I said f*** you."

Yes, children learn real fast and they are so innocent about what they had inadvertently learned that they they reveal their knowledge to all they come into contact with. In their innocence, they believe all knowledge is good, be it vulgar or not. So, in a way, it is easy to know what they have just learned so that parents can remove the dirt and filth immediately before the use of such words become a habit.

It depends upon the parents whether what has been learned will be in usage. Learning that such words are in existence and there are people using them is acceptable but if it comes into the child's everyday language, then he has acquired the use of unnecessary language. Such language is not useful, in fact detrimental to the child's welfare, in life. As adults, when we understand that someone has been brought up with the use of such language, we might accept it but there are times when such use of language becomes embarrassing besides it being unnecessary.

So parents should be aware of what their children have learned and discourage or encourage the usage of the newly acquired knowledge. If unnecessary or harmful knowledge has been learned and practised, it could lead to the child's future downfall.

One such harmful habit is acquired from friends or pushers who invite unwitting children to try smoking and from there to cigarettes spiked with drugs. And if the child learns that his parents dislike smoking, the child may even have the new knowledge concealed from the parents. However, parents who are aware or close with the child will be able to smell the difference. The smell of cigarette smoke in the mouth or fingers of smokers is strong. (When I was a teacher, I had been able to detect the smell as a student walked past me after returning from a smoke. Upon searching the pockets I had found cigarettes and a lighter in such a student, evidence that he smoked.) If the parent were to explain to the child the dangers of smoke in our lungs, then it might prevent further practice of the activity.

Of course, not all knowledge or activity is bad, just as not all knowledge or activity is good. Knowing a child's knowledge and interest early, parents can assist the child to be involved more deeply into it and have it become a hobby or stepping stone to further knowledge and interest in books with such knowledge. Interest in books can lead the child to improve his language capabilities and other interests. And from here, the sky is the limit as far as the acquiring of knowledge is concerned.

Besides knowledge, another important aspect of interests is the eventual realisation that there is so much to know, learn and do, making life so meaningful and wonderful. It makes life not just eating, resting, sleeping and working but living and enjoying each day, thus such a person looks forward to each precious minute with eagerness. That's what makes life precious!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The best in any level of society anywhere.

We find the best and the worst in any level of society. Through knowledge of happenings in our world, I have no alternative but to come to such a conclusion.

Just a month ago, I read in the news about this homeless man, a Mr. Dave Talley, who found a backpack. In the backpack were three thousand, three hundred American dollars in cash. Well, a man without money to even secure a small home somewhere must be really poor. Right or wrong, he could have easily persuaded himself to believe it was God's way to help him out of his predicament. He could have slipped the money into his pocket and walked away from the backpack. All that he did not do.

He did not steal it, an act I know some people would stoop to perform, given half the chance. Among the poor, there are thieves and among the rich and powerful, there are those in authority who become even richer through corruption which in my mind is also a kind of thieving, robbing someone in a persuasive way, using the authority they hold just as a common thief would a knife.

No, he did not touch a cent of that money. He returned the full sum as well as the backpack to the owner. Mr. Talley must have known the address from information he found in that backpack. That is what made me say a prayer for that man. He overwhelmed me with the beauty of his deed. Whatever his religion is, he is certainly more god-like than many.

To me, he is the walking example of honesty and greatness. No matter where he is, I wish him my very best. Perhaps, in his present position, he is able to perform his mission well, perhaps indicating to all that you do not need to have anything to be generous, that greatness lies not in the external form but in the inner self of a being.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Veterinarians' 2010 Convocation in Universiti Putra Malaysia.



A person's achievement in one of life's many successes depends upon his responsibility to go through the tough studying that is required to pass examinations to reach a particular goal in life. This is the story about Ong Jin Seng who has gone through the first part of his life striving for excellence in many things.

In today's world, knowledge, be it from school, an institution or an expert is of utmost importance if one were to wish to become one of the best in his/her spere or niche in life. Knowledge through trial and error or experimentation is very slow although possible. So, the best option is to obtain it from somewhere. Of course, there are people who have succeeded in business through hard work and hardly any knowledge but this is where luck plays an important role. Depending upon luck to succeed is full if uncertainties. In fact most who depend upon just luck and hard work alone in business fail. Those with success stories based on luck and hard work are the exceptional cases.

After his standard six examination, he was selected to be one of the few non-Malays to enter a residential science school. Always among the top scholars, at the age of fifteen, he won the top prize in Malaysia in an English essay competition on a Japanese film conducted by the Japanese Government. For that, he got a one-week home-stay in Japan.

Throughout his life, his interest in nature has been consistent and so when he successfully for a veterinarian course in the university, he had his dream come true.
Even as he studied, he spent more time on his creatures than on the course, although that was not neglected at all. As a result of this great interest, he finally received his degree this year in October. Even before the convocation, he was already employed by the well-known Underwater World in Langkawi, Malaysia.

Despite the amount of work he does each day, he found his first job interesting and fun. Forever on the search for knowledge on animals, fish and other exotic creatures, I believe his work is more a hobby than a job; for each time I talk to him, it was always about his work with the penguins and fish. One of his pets at the Underwater World is his cute baby penguin. From what he has told me, life must be beautiful. I am happy for him.

Below are some of the pictures I took at the convocation.