Only quitters could be losers.

The Winter Olympics is just over and some have been placed first, second and third according to the performance at that moment, compared to all those participants in the games.

In my mind, all those selected to represent their countries in the games are winners. Although some of them got no medals to show for their efforts, they are undeniably some of the best athletes in the world, certainly something to be admired. They missed those medals because they are humans with the strength and weakness that is characteristic of all humans. Mistakes are made naturally from time to time, even among the best. Mood could also have played a part just as it does in our everyday lives.

Thus, in every competition, it is not a shame to lose to another as long as the best possible effort has be in place at that particular moment, even when, somehow, the body could not master sufficient power to drive one to the top. Especially in top-notched competition, everything is possible and what is expected may not occur. A medal winner today may not receive any on another day. This happens in every sport or human endeavour. Well-known ex-boxers such as Floyd Patterson, Sony Liston and Mohammad Ali may no longer be in possession of the boxing crown but they definitely are some of the best in boxing.

In every human endeavour, unless we quit before the end of the trail, success can be ours when we achieve whatever we set out to do. How small or big the achievement is subjective. The most important point is whether such an achievement is sufficient to boost our morale and give us a sense of achievement. When there is achievement, there will be greater confidence, confidence that will give us the courage to face whatever challenges that life may present; to triumph over such challenges, giving us a joyful uplift through the knowledge that nothing is too big to overcome if we put our will to it.

Without this inner strength, quitters give up on emerging as winners in life, throwing away a life that could have been used to prove to themselves that life is worth the living by facing it head-on and not allowing challenges to overwhelm them. this, in itself, is a victory.

Suitability is of utmost importance.

In all things we do, suitability is of utmost importance. The clothes we wear ought to suit the occassion. The speech we give should be right for the audience gathered. The words we use depends upon the language and the proficiency in the language of the people concerned. When a speech is not totally understood, it cannot expect to be appreciated. Neither should it be too simple if it is delivered to literary figures. It all boils down to suitability. Similarly, our actions and behaviour ought to suit the occassion. At times we can have brazen, bawdy jokes but there are times such jokes are unacceptable. The jokes have to be suitable.

Last night, I attended one new year party where one of the programmes was a display of talent by some musicians. The musicians did very well and even a music ignoramus like me could enjoy the songs, music and the showmanship of some of the talents. Unfortunately, most of the people present were out to renew friendships, exchange the latest news and enjoy each other's company. At one point, the chatter of the happy crowd almost drowned the music of the musicians. I rally felt sorry for them but then we cannot blame the great number of people who attended the gathering which was intended to be a coming together, a sort of unity function where they made the function a success by enthusiatically enjoyed the food and each other's presence with unbridled happiness. It is just that the musical programme was unsuitable for the event despite the great talents those young musicians displayed.

Well, suitability still is a factor which must be taken into account.

It's a one-world family.

In the news today was a report of a mass dining protest organised by Mia Northrop in Australia against racial attacks, in which the participants sat down to take curry in Indian restaurants. This was in response to attacks on Indians in Australia. The event attracted participation not only in Australia but also in Tokyo, Amsterdam, New York and Stockholm.

The huge success of this protest against racialism is a good indication that the world is becoming less racial and more a one-world family, which we actually are.

It is pretty obvious that the world never was meant to be divided into so many countries, states and races. The world just comprises of some pieces of land and sea. Man, craving for power, laid claims to particular areas and put boundaries on those pieces of land. Even to this so-called civilised day, Man, in this kind of craziness, still fight over land that God bestowed to all mankind. In actual fact, on the very ground where the boundaries of countries are, except for islands, there is no natural dividing feature on the ground itself to indicate where the boundary is!

Who created us to be of a particular race? It is none but the power-crazy leaders who started drawing up imaginary lines (It's all in the mind and drawn on a so-called map.) and declaring that a piece of land was henceforth named America, Canada, India, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam and so forth. And the people born in each place are known as a race. Thus, we have Americans, Canadians, Indians, Malaysians, Thais and Vietnamese. Are they truly different? No! The only superficial difference is the colour of their skin which is due to the weather these people and their ancestors endure for so many years.

Take India for example. Part of the country is in the tropics while the northern region has a much cooler climate. The northern Indians are so fair while the southern Indians are so dark. Recently, I met a Tibetan lady who has north Indian features. If I had not been told where she came from, I could have mistaken her for a northern Indian.

So, race is something created by humans. It only exists in the minds of humans. That is how some politicians in Malaysia sometimes use the arguement that people who originate from Indonesia, Java and other places which the British named the Malay Peninsula have not migrated because people from the Malay Peninsula are Malays, even though these people had obviously come from another piece of land that never recognised Malaysia as part of their country. Well, that's how politicians try to twist the facts to suit their own purpose.

The fact is that this is one world. The boundaries, states, countries and races are all man-created. If human can only see this and live as a one-world family, sharing the world together, there will be peace and greater happiness on Earth.

The paths of love.

Love is what everyone of us needs. Yet, it is one of the most puzzling emotion in our lives. Almost everyone of us go through it. Sometimes, it is smooth sailing, the couple gets married and they apparently lived happily ever after. For some, it begins with someone unknown, quickly thrown into a marriage and from then onwards get to appreciate that someone who has been put together with them, graduating culminating in love. Then again, there are those who find the going rough, either at only one stretch of the way or all the way till death or a divorce do them part.

Teenagers, even oldsters, find that the love emotion emerges as they mix around. One day, it was a carefree joy to be around just to enjoy the company. Then, without any warning, an emotion of special liking for someone arises. The urge to be close with that someone, to be more and more a part of that someone's life becomes evident.

If the feeling is mutual, then a relationship starts. Love is never predictable and there are times when the emotion is only one sided from the beginning; and sometimes the other party may be interested but the interest does not last. When that happens, the party who loves will experience great pain. How well he/she takes that pain depends upon the person's attitude towards life, love and happiness. If the love is intense, the pain can last quite long, maybe forever, even when another person appears on the scene.

So, should a youth be faced with a love situation like the one my friend's son encountered (The one I wrote about a few days' ago.) how can the parents help?

If I were the parent concerned, i would tell the youth that it is something that happens all the time. Sometimes, love hurts and we have to expect such experiences in life. Tell the guy/gal that when one door closes, another is bound to open. One day, when both sides click and the magnets do not repel, then be ready to live that moment and reach out for happiness. Of course, tell him/her we do not expect him/her to feel the pain any less. Enjoy the pain but not for too long for it is possible to be entrapped by the pleasure of self-sympathy.

Sometimes. God works in mysterious ways. The first or second failure could be lessons to have the guy be prepared for the next time he/she gets that love-pull again towards somebody else. Some of us who have experienced this knows it.

Whatever it is, parents ought to prepare their children to the pot-holes of love. People who have fallen in had not been able to crawl out, causing needless death. Some have their minds warped because of it and had to depend upon medicine for the rest of their lives. Of course, it is not easy to prepare grown children for such events in their lives. That is one of the reason I am sharing it by putting this down on this blog so that it could, perhaps, be of help to someone.

If it can merely save one person from heartache through understanding that love and happiness in life is not lost forever through some wrong connection or some connection mistake. God gives us the life to search and find the right connection and until then, we ought to continue to love ourselves even more.

For how can we expect anyone to love us if we cannot even love ourselves enough to carry on? It is when we love ourselves that we put forward our very best and that makes it easier for others to see the best in us, loving what they see.

It's all up to us.

There is no end to complaints. Each day we hear them from people we meet. These days, the weather is often the subject for complaints. It is either too hot or too wet.

A semi-paralysed friend of mine remarked that it certainly is not easy to be God. Well, with a higher post comes greater responsibility. God is deemed to be the one in charge of the world and its happenings, especially those which are unfortunate. I remember one politician who was well-known for blaming it on God when unfortunate incidents happen. Looks like God is also an easy scrapegoat. Fortunately for us humans, God is beyond such petty things and so does not take issue with anyone.

Coming back to this semi-paralysed friend, he said it was clear that people blame God for almost everything concerning the weather. When it is hot, almost everyone, except hawkers selling drinks and coffee-shop owners of course, complains and prays for rain. When it rains, depending upon the time of day, there are still people who will complain, especially hawkers and people on errants.

Thinking of what my friend told me, is it not true that there is always something to complain about if we wish to find fault? There is not a single day when complaints are not heard. Yet if we look around more appreciatively, there is so much to be thankful for, the most obvious being the fact that we are still alive and able to sense all the things around us in this world.

So, how are the colours of your world? Are they the light shades of whites, reds, pinks, yellows, blues, orange, purples and greens and are they only the shades of grey? Who created those colours for ourselves? If we were to smile at ourselves and love the beloved face right there in the mirror, there can be no grey. There can only be grey when we start looking for wrinkles and blemishes.

Face the world with delight due to a gratitude to be still alive to experience another life-enriching day. Appreciation and gratitude for all that is still yours to enjoy can never bring complaints. Thus, it is up to us what or how the world is, a world full of thins to complain about or a world full of wonderful possiblities and probabilty. See, it is all up to us.

That was what my dear paralysed friend was trying to say, that no matter how it is and who it is out there, even God, there is still so much to complain about if we search for something to find fault with. On the other hand, there is so much to be thankful for.

Have a wonderful day, my friends.

Parents need not necessarily be the best person to confide in.

Recently, a young guy had relationship problems and he approached an aunt to help solve his problem. According to the story I heard, the girl concerned had three boy-friends and this guy who was very fond of her, felt left out at times. The uncertainty was putting some stress into him. So, he needed someone to confide in so as to reduce the stress through sharing and discussing.

Although his parents are quite close to him, he somehow preferred to reach out to the aunt. Perhaps, there may be some parents who would feel hurt that their son would chose some relative to discuss his problem. No matter how close parents may be to a child, we have to accept the fact that in love relationships, some young people prefer to let younger relatives know about them first. Perhaps, it is safer, more comfortable and easier to quietly relinguish whatever relationship should it ever fade away. There may be less need to explain. After all, a grown child may still have to face his parents everyday while relatives can be avoided for a while for things to cool down.

Therefore, parents should never regard such avoidance of revelation on such matters as an indication of disrespect to the parents concerned. Parents must not rave or rant upon discovery of such a matter from another source. They should respect the need for privacy on the part of their grown child.

Furthermore, parents should not reveal the fact that they know about the matter being discussed with a third party as long as the third party is not detrimental to the child's welfare. Parents should be thankful that the third party is around to assist their child and to privately give further developments to the parents. Be grateful that someone can help him out of his problems for it is also not the fault of this someone that the grown child decides to confide in her and search for a solution from her.

So long as a solution can be derived, parents ought to be happy that their child had somehow managed to jump out of another pothole in life and is safe. That ought to be the role of every parent; to see that their children are safe and developing well.

Always leave the mind open to changes.

I have heard and read so much about how chemotherapy can do so much harm to our cells, killing them as the chemicals kill cancer cells that I believed those who did not go for chemotherapy but got cured through alternative therapy did the right thing. Certainly, they did prove that alternate therapy did work for them.

There was this friend who got bone cancer. As she weakened she told me she refused chemotherapy which was advised by her doctor as she saw with her own eyes those who went through chemotherapy succumb to its side-effects, weakened and died so fast after that.

But then, she continued to weaken and eventually had to be bedridden as her legs could no longer bear the weight of her body and pain was fairly constant. She weakened to such a stage where she decided to accept the doctor's advice to go for chemotherapy.

And do you know what the result was? Together with some supplements from alternative therapy, she strengthen sufficiently to get off her bed and was able to walk around with a walker. Apparently, chemotherapy did work for her. Perhaps the supplements from the alternative therapy lessen the side effects and helped her towards her recovery from her weakness.

Well, obviously, I have to keep an open mind to chemotherapy. There certainly is nothing wrong in changing our perception of anything should such a thing prove to be good. We are constantly finding new information, knowledge and ideas and unless we are open to them, we retard our own progress. These new information, knowledge and ideas can put a new perspective on all that we know.

Spend time with our children.

This morning, I noted how a little girl was so close to her father that she loved to have his protective arms around her wherever they went. That father must have spent a lot of time with his daughter, playing with her and looking after her most of the time, whenever he was not working. That was soon confirmed as I know the father.

This brought back memories of my time with my children and nephew when they were young. Except for the time I had to be away at work, my wife and I spent our time with our children, talking to them, listening to whatever they were capable of expressing, playing with their toys, taking part in their joy and having the fun of our lives. Then, as they grew bigger and stronger, we ventured afield, first to the nearby fields and hills, then on outings to places of interest, letting our children experience new things, feelings, knowledge and discovering new understanding. Using the people and things we see on the way or at the places we went, we explained how the various people came to be what they were, that our actions have consequences and the final result of the situation people are in are caused by their very actions or inactions. Thgus, in this manner, we use the world of people, animals and things to educate our children.

In fact, looking back I found my precious time with my children too short. Time passes so fast. So, to parents who still have young children with them, do not waste what you may not have any more one day. Enjoy every precious second that you have with your children, for very soon they will be children no more.

Well, as a result of our spending time with our children, they are today very close with me. As they have reached adulthood, they are now more friend than children and we could discuss many things, improving further our relationship in the family. I am a proud and happy father because God gave me the opportunity to realise such importance early in life. I can never thank God enough for that.

Knowledge and understanding is always important.

Yesterday, I wrote on the noble deed of releasing fish, frogs and birds from captivity. Done rightly or wrongly, the intention, which is all important, is certainly admirable.

However, the action can be improved upon with full knowledge and understanding of the birds, frogs and fish that we release. I have often seen good Buddhist who unintentionally cause pain, suffering and death to the creatures they hope to save.

When it comes to fish, there have been people who release goldfish and long-tailed angels into the rivers where other creatures await to get a meal out of them. You see, goldfish have fins that do not give them any chance for survival in the wild. In fact, their features are mostly man-made. Goldfish originate from the carp. Their body became bulky, their fins long, their tails not exactly what nature would want them to have. That is why they move the way they do, wagging their way forward slowly, obviously too slow to escape any predator. To put them in a river is similar to putting a human among some lions in an arena. It is certain death.

Another thing about fish is the way such fish are released, be it into a well, pond, river or acquarium. The temperature of the water holding the fish may be warm while the river water may be cold. When there is such a difference in the temperature at the time the fish is transferred, the fish would receive a temperature shock which could lead to death in a few days' time. This is one of the reasons people who release their fish from a plastic bag of warm water into the cold water of their acquarium find their fish sick and dying after just a few days. The right thing to do is to put the plastic bag of fish into the acquarium or river water for about half an hour to have the water in the bag become similar to the temperature of the water in the acquarium or the river. In this way, the fish will be moving from one place to another whitout receiving any temperature shock and so, will be safe. You see, knowledge and understanding of such matters do make a difference.

When it comes to birds, we ought to get those birds which have a market for them. However, most Buddhist buy birds such as the ordinary sparrows and other dull grey feathered birds which interest nobody except such Buddhists. It simply means that such birds would never have been captured by anyone in the first place, and therefore need no release, if such Buddhist do not purchase them in order to have them released back to the wild.

To understand better, perhaps I ought to go into some details on how such birds are usually caught. The bird-catchers would tie a long wide net in the path of such birds, then send such bird into flight into the net by frightening them. The frightened birds dashed right into the net, getting caught by it, and in the process, many break their necks or are fatally hurt. Since nobody wants to rear such dull coloured birds, no one would have taken the trouble to catch them thus. If there are nobody to purchase them so as to release them, there would have been no market for them and they would have been safe in the first place.

There are also birds which are no longer wild as they have been bred in captivity for so long, away from their natural habitat since the day they were born and therefore do not know where to get or hunt for their food or water. Such birds, the African finches and the canary for example, would not know where to go, how to look for food they have been used to and water if ever they are released. They would most probably die a slow painful death as they search in vain for familiar food. Such birds may be so familiar with the sight of a cat that they may move towards it.

Fortunately, almost every frogs that are release come from the wild and therefore, it is perfectly alright to release them into the wild again.

Praise be to god for such noble deeds.

Every human heart has kindness and beauty in its core. And this manifests itself in the charitable ways of our brothers and sisters of this world. This is especially so during a time of cheer such as the Chinese New Year.

This year, for example, The Art of Living, Sungai Petani, has some very noble ways of celebrating the new year.

First, there is a round of requests for donations from the members themselves so as to prepare red packets and food for the more than three hundred inhabitants of the Old Folks' Home in Bedong. For ordinary folks with no desire for any publicity to think of helping the old folks to enjoy together with the group, it is such a wonderful thought.

Then comes the idea of praying for our wildlife, releasing some of the wild birds, fish and frogs back into their habitat together with a prayer that they could find the way to rebirth into a higher form of life. Whether this is possible or not is immaterial. What matters is the thought that went into the action. The fact that these people think of those whom they believe are less fortunate at a time when there was no necessity to do so proves that they believe they are in a way responsible for not just themselves but for everything that is in their environment. If everyone in this world could come together as one in such noble thoughts, this world would have no wars, no killing, no unnecessary death, no unneccesary fear, no ugliness and life would indeed be beautiful or one and all in this world.

I happen to be one of those who still have some way to go to achieve such noble thoughts though I have realised for some time that this ought to be the way. I can only console myself that I am willing to learn to be as noble, willing to strive to be a better man. Well, as a nature lover, I am certainly never intentionally cruel to animals or things of nature. I used to pluck some of the leaves on my way up or down the hill and there was this lovely friend who obvilusly knew better how to care for nature and she told me not to pluck the leaves. Since then, I have realised that those plants could possibly feel hurt by my action and now I refrain from such an action. Thanks to the friend.

The beauty of a swamp.

Let's have a closer look at some of the things in there.


My son looking at the inhabitants of the swamp.


Let's appreciate the beauty of the swamp.

Another look at the swamp.


Look at those half-beaks.


A pufferfish is caught. Let's take a closer look at it.

Here are the pufferfish, the half-beak and killifish.


A look at some of the specimens.


And here's the pufferfish on show in our planted tank.

Although it was a really hot day with my outside the air-con room more like an oven than the inviting coolness of spring, I ventured out with my elder son to take a look at nature and appreciate its beauty and the life it contained. Too hot to travel any distance, we drove to the nearest swamp to enjoy its surrounding green and the comparatively cooler air. It's fantastic how the roots of the trees open up to reach downwards to the more solid ground below to anchor themselves in their watery environment. See how trees accommodate themselves to the environment. In nature, it is either that or wither and die. Is not that the same with humans? As the world become more stressful and challenging, we have to learn to face it with even greater strength and courage or succumb to psychatric problems or a willingness to end precious life. In facing life, there is much we can learn from nature; to accept the inevitable change that comes with the future and accept the fact that life can be as good as we make it to be.

It's good to realise the beauty of the greenery, to stop for a moment and ponder for a while how important trees are to our lives, how they supply us constantly with oxygen, without which there can be no life; to be grateful to mother nature for her gift of life.

Here, in the swamps is another element that plays an important role in our lives, water. Yes, water that cools our body, supply us with life-giving liquid without which there can be no flowing blood, no transport system for oxygen to reach each and every cell in our bodies, no transport of much needed nutrients to our organs and no removal of toxic substances from inside our bodies. Talking of water, the swamps also act as a fort to prevent huge waves from devastating man's habitat. And yet, except for the beautiful fire-flies that they bring, we often forget the beauty of its existence.

My son and I took a closer look at the water of the swamp to look at some of its inhabitants. There was this pair of crabs with their home in the crevices just above the surface of the water. Because the water of the swamp is brackish, pufferfish from the sea often follow the tide in and swim with the current back to the sea as the tide recedes. Here too can be found half-beak and killifish fry. Once upon a time, we did chance upon some prawns. Not this time though. There were some small blue-eyed fish, possibly blue eye lamp tetra fish, some gobies and a pair of beautiful red-spotted fish, but not identifiable by this writer. We manged to get a few specimen of the pufferfish, the half-beak and the killifish to put into a plant acquarium so as to capture their beauty with a camera.

Life is beautiful and all it takes is a walk with nature to experience and appreciate it joys and beauty. What a wonderful world! Thank God for that.

Ego, commerce or superstition?

Throughout the year, I have a great appetite. I consume a big amount of food as my activities in a day consist of much physical action. I needed the carbohydrates through grains, fruits and vegetables to supply the amount of energy I use up each day. Of course, I take sufficient protein, vitamins and minerals food to ensure I stay in good health.

However, there was a time, always at this time of the year, the eve of the Chinese New Year, when I lost some of my appetite as the result of seeing the enormous amount of food placed on the table.

This is a pecularity of the Chinese. I came from a poor family and despite that, there was always a great quantity of food; fish, chicken, duck, pork, salad leaves, salted vegetable soup with meat in it and the thousand-year fermented duck's eggs; on the table on new year's eve. The amount of food was always obviously too much to feast on and the sight of it was usually enough to chase away my appetite.

The only beautiful things about the new year then were the number of red packets I could manage to collect during those younger days and the bottles of cold aerated water I was allowed to drink. During those days, the financial situation of the family allowed me such luxuries rarely.

After the new year's eve dinner, the torture began. Day after day, for the next few days at least, it was left-over food, cooked and recooked, recycled with a little bit of meat or other vegetables added. How healthy that food was I would never know. Of course, we know that each time we subject food to more heat, more nutrients are lost. Fortunately, I had never experienced any food poisoning, malnutrition maybe.

Today, with myself having a say in my food, my family as well as my brother's family do not practise that any more. Funny, is it not, that we do not do that when we have a refrigerator to store all that food whereas there was no refrigerator for such a purpose when my parents were doing that, using the heat from the stove to recook the food after each meal.

And in my curiosity as to why some families still do that, I discover that they have the belief that the kitchen god would come for a visit and so as to ensure that he could put in a good report on the family, the family has to somehow fill the rice-containers to the brim and have lots of food in the food-cupboard.

For me, that sounded like a commercial reason. Business people, in order to have good business, must have put such ideas into the minds of the simple folks to encourage them to spend on more than was needed.

Or was that an excuse to assuage one's ego when it comes to the poor or to show off the capability of the family when it comes to the well-to-do.

Whatever it may be, it is also an opportunity to splurge a bit on some expensive items such as more attractive new clothes and the more exotic delicacies that are usually available at this time of the year. This is one of the reasons, people are most happy and appreciative in welcoming a new year.

The benefits of a new year.

It is great that we look towards the moon to calculate the number of days in a lunar month and the seasons to get twelve months in a year.

However, why do we have seven days in a week and see the moon twice in a lunar month-on the first and fifteenth day of the month. Since it is a lunar month, why not put that as two months? Then we could have 24 months in a year. Well, I used to wonder a lot about such things.

However, I know the good reasons we have a new year day, be it lunar or Chinese, Muslim or any other kind of calender.

The first day of the new year gives us a new beginning. If the previous year had not been good, we can have another try at it. That is why people think of new resolutions, another chance, another twelve months to achieve what we failed to accomplish in the past year.

Besides that, the knowledge that the new year is just round the corner gives us the impetus to clean up not just the mess in improving ourselves, also the mess in our house. it gives us new vigour to remove all the cobwebs from the ceiling and hidden corners of our rooms. It gives us good reason to clean up the whole house as we know there will be visitors and our house-proud ego demands that our home looks presentable to all those who come.

And that is the reason the eve of the Chinese New Year is the time relatives come a calling or gather at one of the houses to have reunion lunch or dinner. Reunion dinners are important as it is the time of the year when all the close relatives get the opportunity to meet each other and overcome whatever distance that could have occured the last twelve months.

It is also the time for friends to have the chance to gather to exchange news and information about each other. Sometimes, we defer meeting with friends due to our presumably tight schedule. Thus, when the new year holidays come, we feel obligatd to visit, removing all excuses for not doing so. Sometimes, we just need such a reason to be closer with our friends.

Well, is not the celebration of a new year so beneficial to us? To all those celebrating the new year, let's look forward to better things to come.

Intelligence, without knowledge and experience, is of limited value.

This morning, I heard a friend complain about his son, an undergraduate, who has just returned from Sarawak the night before.

According to the friend, the son had booked a ticket through a friend. When he was shown the printed ticket purchased, he merely gave it a casual glance. It could be due to trust or belief that there can be no mistake in such a simple matter. How mistaken he was! As a result, he did not realise that the ticket was booked for a wrong date.

The day they went to the Air Asia ticketing booth to claim their tickets, this son and his friend discovered their mistake and were forced to purchase another two tickets. So, it turned out to be an expensive mistake.

Fortunately, there is a lesson, albeit an expensive one, to be learned from this experience. The next time, we can be assured that those two young men would scrutinise whatever ticket, document or statement before putting it aside. Experience can teach us certain matters which intelligence alone tend to neglect.

Although it was expensive and, perhaps, unnecessary but the understanding that details have their importance can and do play a part in our lives. How often have we heard of people who have bought insurance or an expensive item with a warranty to discover that their claims are not up to their expectation. Upon questioning the people concerned, it is pointed out to them that there are clauses in the insurance or the warranty in which it is stated that the claimants are not entitled to their claims due to having committed or agreed to all the mentioned conditions given in the said insurance or warranty. if the claimants had read the fine print as well as the bigger print, then, they would have known what rights or claims they are entitled to and no frustration would have resulted.

The unfortunate thing about those people who did not get what they erroneously believed they were supposed to be given is that they usually go into denial of the fact that the mistake of not perusing those important conditions was theirs. When there is denial, the blame goes to the other party whose only wrong is not to have cautioned the people concerned to read the fine print before signing or agreeing or accepting anything. When there is denial, the people who made the mistake refuses to accept the mistakes as theirs and therefore do not wish to ensure that such mistakes do not take place another time.

We ought to realise that mistakes and achievements are experiences; experiences from which we can learn something from. Yes, we may be stupid for making such a mistake but if we learn from that mistake, the stupidity is immediately replaced by a wisdom based on knowledge and understanding through the experience. Be a fool for that one moment to step ahead to the wisdom gained for the remainder of our lives.

Intelligent people do make mistakes as long as their intelligence is not backed by knowledge and experience. That is why the best learning that can be attained is through practical use of intelligence and knowledge.

Know what appreciation can do.

There are millions of lovers and married couples in this world. Some are rich while others are poor. Some are happy in their relationship while others are not. Who are those who are happy? Is there a clear division between the married and unmarried? Are the rich any happier than the poorer couples? Which couple is the happiest?

The above questions hold answers to eternal bliss in a love relationship. However, before we start, let us understand that sufficient money and daily life sustenance are essential to any love relationship but, in no way, does it guarantee happiness.

For that, we have to ask anybody what he/she needs other than the bare essentials of life; such as food, water and shelter. Humans need self-esteem. Self-esteem is the nutrient of our soul. Without self-esteem, there is a feeling of worthlessness, no self worth. Useless! Ask those who want to commit suicide and they will tell you, his/her life is no longer worth the living. Somewhere along the way, the self-esteem has been destroyed. And when self-esteem goes to an all-time low, a feeling that life is of no value creeps in.

So, how do we build up and sustain our self worth. It is through the love of parents and friends. Parents makes us feel wanted, needed and loved. With that our self-esteem grows. Thus, children who grow up without parents' expressions of daily love lack self-esteem and this is seen in their lack of confidence.

Later, through our achievements and successes, we develop further our self esteem. We know our worth and capability. We are positive in our attitude towards challenges in life.

If our own self esteem is strong, challenges that manage to batter our self esteem every once in a while, will not put us down for long, unlike those who have a weak self-esteem. Because of our knowledge of our own worth, we are able to sustain our self-esteem despite the odds we face. However, that does not mean that we need no further assurance of our capability to sustain it.

Sometimes, we face failures in life which come one after another, slowly but gradually whittling away our self-esteem. In the face of such storms, who can help us retain our confidence? In a relationship, it is our lover or other half in a marriage. how is that achieved?

Well, appreciation is very essential in stabilising the confidence of a partner. Appreciation is easy. It is merely telling the partner your liking for certain qualities or the gratitude for whatever the partner has done for you each and everyday. This appreciation reminds the partner that someone cares, needs and wants him/her; that his/her existence is important to his/her well-being. This is how one's self-esteem can be boosted.

Criticism is the very opposite of appreciation. It can destroy one's ego together with whatever relationship that exists. There, always show appreciation in any relationship. Never criticise! If there is nothing better to be said, just stopper the mouth and remain quiet until the calm returns.

Everyday's Valentine's Day.

When I married Soo Kin some thirty-five years ago, I told her I would love her every day of her life. And that was what I did.

You see, I was one of those guys who have seen enough unhappy marriages to not be one of the victims. I strongly believe, even to this day, that a happy marriage is possible, that all that happens to that marriage depends upon just the two individuals who committed themselves to the marriage, nothing more. Even more important, that a happy marriage is important to the health and happiness of the two persons involved. In a marriage, the two persons, love established or a structure of convenience or desirability, must constantly care for each other regardless of the obstacles or problems that befall them from time to time.

It is the care and love that counts and not the marriage certificate or the ring on the finger. That is the reason Soo Kin and I never wore a ring or registered our marriage. We married at a time when a marriage ceremony was sufficient to prove our status as man and wife. Actually, even without the ceremony, I was her man and she was my wife.

When you love someone, everyday is Valentine's Day. For us, every day, we thought of each other's welfare and happiness; we planned things together, went almost everywhere together, looking out for each other always. Every minute of the day was Valentine's time. When the children did not materialise within the first ten years of marriage, I assured her that the two of us made a marriage; we need nobody else to complete the happiness. Then, when our two beloved, precious children came, we shared the joys of bringing up our two boys, planning the children's progress and thinking of widening the world of our two children and our nephews with outings to places within our reach, finance and time wise. In fact, with so much to think of for our family, there was just no space for problems to stay for long.


Eventually, when Soo Kin was down with Cushing Syndrome and had to be hospitalised for the last eight months of her life; with our children studying in residential science schools; I took leave from my profession to be at her side till the last second of her life. In the hospital, as i slept on chair beside her bed, we constantly looked to each other for the much needed solace and companionship. In those moments, we realised that the most important person in our lives is our other half. We understood there was no one closer than the two of us.

Therefore, it is important for married couples to know that everyday has to be a Valentine's Day. It's a must for love. And Valentine's Day is not just a bunch of expensive roses, some lovey-dovey words or exotic chocolates. It's the care from the heart, something that is sometimes not heard because we expect something more tangible (Not that that is not important, but sometimes circumstances just prevents it.)and in the process miss that which is even more precious.

Think and act wisely in the face of responsibility.

Two days ago, I heard this true story about a couple who spent all their savings in order to send their only child to study in Britain. The son passed his final examination and, with a degree, went on to work in Britain where he met the girl of his dreams, a British lady. Their meeting ended on a happy note with the couple married to each other and the boy's parents so happy that their beloved child has found bliss in Britain.

Initially, the boy's parents merely went over to Britain for a visit to see the young couple and to enjoy a holiday there. Everything was fine and they returned home after a few weeks with photographs to show other relatives how well their son was doing in Britain, the beautiful home of the young couple and, oh!, what a wonderful place that was.

Now that their son was permanently residing in Britain, a dream appear. They dream of staying with their son in his home. So, they planned to do just that. And once again, they were in Britain enjoying the place and, of course, depending upon the son for everything as they were no longer working.

Unfortunately, their daughter-in-law was born and bred in Britain where children are expected to be on their own once they have achieved financial independence. Likewise, parents do not live on their children's salary. Well, I don't know but I believe they have something called welfare for those non-working citizens.

Nevertheless, one day, the daughter-in-law told the husband's parents that they have to pay for the rent. Obviously, they were in no position to pay for anything substantial.

Not wishing to disrupt the peace and bliss of their son's family, they had no alternative but to return to their country; back to their own little home.

According to some comments received, there are some who perceive that the daughter-in-law was cruel, that their son should have enquired into the sudden change in plans of the parents; that the parents in this case was stupid to have spent so much money on their child and brought themselves into poverty.

When it comes to the daughter-in-law, it is always so easy to not understand things but fault the girl. she was brought up in a culture where that was the practice and therefore, in her mind, there was no wrong done. Similarly, you do not fault a Muslim for not eating pork or a Buddhist for not eating beef because that is part of their Muslim or Buddhist upbringing. Right or wrong, that is the practice. We have to understand that our practices are all different, be it religious or cultural difference and no one ought to be considered wrong in the practice he/she is brought up in.

As for the parents, they ought to love their child enough to do whatever they could to give him nothing but the best possible. From this story, it is obvious that parents ought to be wise too. They have a responsibility to themselves too; to ensure that whatever finances left is sufficient to see them through to the end of their days. They ought not to depend upon the charity of their child.

From this, we can clearly see that that nobody else, but ourselves, are the only ones responsible for us. Therefore, we ought to act wisely and responsibly.

You can be still young as long as.....

What caught my eyes in the news this morning was the true story of an 88 year old who beat 86 other participants in the 3-day Johor International Kit festival to win the Best International Kite Performance trophy. This Taiwanese, Robert Yen, who had competed in this annual competition for the last 14 years was the oldest participant this year. Although he was aged eighty-eight years, he looked so hail and hearty. I should be really happy to be that good looking at that age. What a marvellous start for the year!

I am pleased to note that it all started as a hobby at the age of eight years. It means that there is a passion for something in his life. That is important for then, there is meaning in still being alive after we have retired from the financial development part of our lives. to be still young; here I throw out those meaningless numbers, the chronological age of a person. It is more the energy we are capable of having, the strength to carry on with activities throughout the day and the desire to wake up each day with eagerness to perform in our passionate activities. If we have at least those, if not more, then we can consider ourselves still young.

Having a passion for some kind of activity is important to life. What is life without that but sleeping, eating, working and trying to last till the end of the day without any excitement or joy in the day's activities. To me that is not meaningful life. That is merely survival, living each day aimlessly.

Furthermore, any kind of passion for any kind of activity would keep our mind and body healthy. With the passion for an activity, the mind and its thoughts are consistently returning to the activity, thinking of how to improve on the activity, how to go further into it and participate in it to the highest level, maybe in competition. when the mind is active, the mind will be stronger and not deteriorate into amnesia in later years.

In any sustained activity, the body has the opportunity to maintain if not increase muscle mass. Whether muscle mass is increased or not depends upon the type of activity involved. If the activity necessitates increasing strength, then the opportunity to increase muscle mass will be there. Even for those people whose activity does not increase the volume of muscles, the urge to remain healthy and be strong enough to continue the activity can motivate the person to take up some weight-lifting exercises to maintain the muscles or increase its mass. When muscle mass is maintained or increased, strength will be improved and with some kind of impact activity, bone density will remain sufficiently good for agility and any required movement. Through activity, fat can be reduced. With more muscles than fat, the metabolic rate of our body will be better, preventing obesity. With activity, our aerobic capacity will remain better than those who are sedentary which means we will be not pant and become tired easily. Then, with activity, the body functions of removing toxic waste are in greater condition. Thereafter, with the right nutrition and rest, the kidneys, the liver, the big intestines and the skin will be in tip-top condition. And with strength, agility, good metabolic rate, less body fat content and a well regulated waste disposal system, we can be assured the body will be able to function just as well as any forty-year old, if not better. Thus, our body's youthfulness can be maintained, no matter which number we have reached on the chronological age level.

As we can see, with an interested activity, it is not difficult to remain youthful and active throughout life.

Warding off the beasts.

During the last few months, I have read in the news about a tiger being warded off by a man and a shark fought off by a fourteen year old girl.

In the first true story, the man dug his fingers into the eyes of the attacking tiger before much damage had occurred. The pain in the eyes caused the tiger to rush off in retreat. Imagine that! Sometimes, our fingers can be the best weapon we can possess at all times.

In the second episode, that young New Zealand girl was attacked by a shark while bodyboarding with her younger brother. In facing the danger of being bitten by a 1.5 meter shark, that brave young lass hit the shark repeatedly with her bodyboard until the shark could no longer stand the pain, released her hip to run off from the super girl.

No, she was no super-girl. she was just an extraordinarily bold child who just had the presence of mind to do the right thing.

What can we learn from these two incidents? As I see it, those two people had no special weapons to drive off their attackers. However, both of them had their presence of mind and were brave enough to act with whatever they had at that time to overcome their problems. And all the girl had was a bodyboard. The only difference was that she acted immediately and repeatedly until she was released. As for the man, he had nothing but his own fingers, something almost every human has. However, we ought to realise that the fingers were used against a most vulnerable spot, the eye.

So, if any man or woman is attacked by any type of beast, be it in the form of a man or an animal, we must understand that the eyes are the most vulnerable part, no matter how strong the beast is. All it takes are two fingers and some force. At this point, someone may point out that it is rather cruel to dig out someone's eyes. Well, it depends upon the situation. If the beast (man or animal) is out to maim or kill or do something even worst, then there should be no scruples with digging out his eyes to safe oneself.

With an animal, there is no time to think and any delay in action may leave us with no opportunity to save ourselves. However, if it is a man-beast, and the beast is much stronger, perhaps waiting for an opportune moment could be wiser and also allow us the time to recover from whatever panic the attack could have caused. In this case, even wiles of any kind could be used to put ourselves into a more favourable position to act for our own safety.

As the little girl has done with the shark, a land shark could also be caused to retreat if a bag or something at hand which is hard enough to be put into use. An umbrella besides the pepper-spray can become a handy weapon to ward off any type of beast.

So, if we are prepared through the experiences of others, we have a better chance of overcoming an attacker. Well, we can never know when such knowledge can be put into use. The best thing is to be prepared. If such things never happen, well and good. However, we can never know for certain our future, so be ready, just in case. Take care.

Is it all in the mind?

There was a time when I taught at a school in Kodiang, Kedah, where the food in the canteen was really tasty, especially a meaty soup which we could use with noodles or bread.

All the teachers enjoyed that soup and so, each day, most of us ordered that to go along with other types of food.

There was this teacher who enjoyed the soup just as much as anyone of us for a number of years. Then, one day, as we were talking, the subject of allergy cropped up. I told them about my allergy with beer and other alcoholic drinks. This teacher talked about his allergy towards beef. Well, it is understandable that a Buddhist would not take beef, whether he is allergic to it of not. However, this Chinese man claimed he could not consume beef because he was allergic to it, not for religious reasons.

He told the group of teachers there that he would throw up each time he ate beef. The discomfort and reactions to the meat was so bad that he had no alternative but to forgo eating such meat. Well and good, as no one can deny that would be the best move to make under such circumstances.

Then, just as we continued slurping our soup, one of the other teachers spoke up, "Hey, Ah B, do you know what you are taking?"
Ah B turned towards him and replied, "Soup. What else?"
"Do you know what Ah Kau Shou put into that soup, ahh?"
"Don't know but it certainly taste fabulous."
Another teacher turned his head towards the kitchen, saw Ah Kau Sou, the canteen lady and shouted towards her direction, "Kau Sou ahh, what do you put into that soup of yours?"
The canteen lady looked puzzled a moment, smiled and replied, "Don;t worry. It's just spices, bean curd and beef ribs."
Everyone turned his or her face towards Ah B. The guy stopped taking the soup all of a sudden and turned to Ah Kau Sou for confirmation, "Are you sure, Ah Kau Sou?"
"Of course! Why? What's the matter? You think I don't even know what I put into my soup, ahh? Don't worry, lah. It's good meat from the butcher."

Ah B suddenly stood up, he face pale and he claimed he felt like vomitting. He quickly disappeared from the canteen in the direction of the toilet.

After he had gone, the group was quiet for a while. The question on everyone's lips was, "How's it possible? He has been enjoying that soup all these years without any side effect until today."

Since, no allergic effect took place without the mind receiving the knowledge that beef was in that soup for so many years, could it be all in the mind? The urge to vomit only took place when the mind received the information that beef had been consumed. Was it truly an allergy or was it a preconditioning of the mind and its reactions by the parents or someone else earlier in Ah B's life?

If we take a good look at some of the feelings and attitudes of people, we discover that some of these feelings are due to religious or cultural teachings. Some people in our society have been preconditioned to love, hate, like, dislike, incline or disincline towards all things and people.

Religions sometimes do that. They do it for various reasons. Hindus and Buddhist are taught not to eat beef while the Muslim have a distaste for pork. Similarly, a dislike for dogs exist among some Muslims.

Other factors other than religion, culture and parents could possibly be contributed through superstition or unfortunate experiences. Such traumatic experiences could cause fears and dislike for things and people.

Thus, it is important to try and understand others, to allow other to act according to their needs, empathise with others the fears and dislikes or whatever which we ourselves may find hard to comprehend.

Of course, many things are not easy to understand as we do not have the same experience that could have cause the other's behaviour. The behaviour comes about through the mind interpretation of the incidents in one's life. Well, sometimes, it is all in the mind. The mind and its thoughts made things real.

We may ridicule ah B's sudden allergic reaction but we ought to understand that for Ah B, the thoughts in his mind made all that happened real. And this understanding is necessary as it can happen to any one of us unless we control our thoughts.

Be alert when withdrawing money from ATM.

Nowadays, there are so many people out there waiting to grab some of your money one way or the other. There are emails informing you of the good fortune of winning some lottery that you have never entered for. Then, there's the poor lady who needs a little financial help to get her million dollar inheritance out of the bank. There is this guy with a fantastic money-earning business that needs you as a partner. What a huge load of good luck on the internet; money waiting for us to have.

Sorry, the luck is not ours. It's theirs. Money waiting for those unscrupulous ones hoping to find easy money from people among us who greedily hope to get easy money from unheard of sources.

If such tactics on the internet no longer work well, there are still other ways to get your money. And those guys are brainy with lots of ideas as you can see from the true story below. And they prove they can work as a team too! The only thing is that they use their intelligence wrongly, right for them but wrong for us, anyway. Well, those guys could hold a seminar on 'How to get a million ringgit a month with no sweat.' and charge each entry a thousand ringgit. Who knows? One day, they may do just that and the police will be after me for giving them that idea.

Well, here's the true story from one guy. To be forewarned is to be forearmed. Read on and know what can possibly happen.
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High Alert when you withdraw money from an ATM.
Please share.


This afternoon around 5:30pm I was at Queensbay Mall Penang, doing some financial payments (credit card, mobile and etc). I went to the 1st floor Maybank ATM to withdraw some money.

As the ATM was finalising my payment, someone tapped me on the shoulder. Naturally I turned around, and there was this stocky Middle Eastern man (around 5ft 2in, fair complexion), pointing to some money on the floor (around RM30plus, there were three 10 ringgits and several 1 ringgit notes).

He said "I saw you drop your money just now". Coincidentally, today, I had some bundled spare notes in my shirt pocket. So I picked up the ringgits on the floor.

Suddenly, a lady, also of Middle Eastern descent - shoulder length curly hair, fair complexion, 5ft 3in, said to me " It's my money!" Then the man told her " No, I saw him dropping it - while pointing to me". Instantly I checked my shirt pocket with a quick glance and I felt and saw that my bundle of spare notes was intact. Without any hesitation, I passed the money to the lady and said "It's your money, not mine."

Within a split second, I turned back to the ATM and saw a male person's hand (did not see the face) reaching for my ATM card that the machine automatically returned upon finishing a transaction. Out of natural instinct, I slapped on the wrist of the person's hand that was trying to take my ATM card.

And the person quickly walked off. I did not have a chance to look at the face as I was waiting for the ATM to dispense my RM1500.

All this happened within 2 to 3 seconds. When I finally got my cash and turned around, the Middle Eastern man and woman had disappeared, including the taller male person who was trying to take my ATM card and, most probably, my cash. I quickly went down the escalator to see where they had gone, I managed to catch a glimpse of the Middle Eastern lady as she was going down the escalator but, soon, she also quickly vanished from my sight.

If I had been slightly doubtful of my own cash in my shirt pocket or had been greedy, I would most likely had my RM1500 stolen. The Middle Eastern man's and lady's job was to create a diversion and confusion, while another person's intention was to snatch my ATM card and cash out of the machine while I was not looking.

This could happen in any mall and, at the time, there were some people withdrawing from a few other machines as well. So it was not a totally secluded area. I firmly believe they are not the only group in Penang or Malaysia.

Points to be remember to remain on high alert:
1. If somebody taps your shoulder while you are withdrawing from an ATM, make sure
you are mindful of your surroundings and focus especially on taking your money
first.
2. Their usual trick is to create a diversion. So, focus on what you are doing.
3. It is best is to have a friend with you when you go to an ATM.

Please let everyone you know about this incident. Especially now when it is so near the festive seasons. They are preying on your bonus and salary! So, beware!

You can always remain young.

This morning, I work up early to smile at myself in the mirror as usual. I liked what I saw. It is the look of a guy who must be doing the right things to have a perfectly healthy body, still flexible enough to leap and jump over stones and rocks, still strong enough to lift anything a normal guy can, still fast enough on my feet to run like a teenager.

And that was what I did on the hill this morning, after doing my first good deed of the day by taking a friend to the bus-station at six fifteen. I exercised my feet by twisting and turning as I made my way up the hill. I moved up side-ways to the left and to the right as well as backwards and forwards.

Then I came across the first person on his way up and received a greeting and a smile. Then another person and another smile and an exchange of greetings. Upon reaching the top, I stopped to do twenty-five press-ups. After that, I ran until I pant before I stop just long enough to recover before another run. After going around that hill, it was downhill most of the time. It is at such times that I meet other friends coming up the hill with smiles and laughter part of the way down.

Almost every morning, that hill in Taman Semarak is my exercise and rejuvenation spot, one of the places where I ensure my body and self remain young always.

You know, when I was forty years of age and jogging around my housing estate, I was told to walk as I was no long young. I told those well-intentioned but wrongly informed people that I would walk the day I cannot run, not till then. Well, to this day, as you can see I still am able to run. That is because our body is as young as we want it to be.

During my earlier years, I looked at some old guys who walked so slowly, with shortened steps and wondered if that was to be my fate. I gathered knowledge and realised that our muscles and tendons shorten without use. However, should we move with long quick strides, the muscles and tendons remain long and flexible. So, I determine never to allow my muscles and tendons in almost every part of my body shorten and weaken by moving and strengthening them consistently.

Even strength can gradually fade away if we do not use our muscles for lifting or carrying heavy things. That is my experience. There was I time when I was too busy pursuing other things and neglected this part of my programme. My muscles became flabby and smaller as strength became lesser and lesser. My alarm bells rang after a sudden game of badminton with some friends and I realised that I had lost much of my stamina and strength. Not only that! The next morning found my legs too painful and stiff, unable to get up like normal after squating down in the toilet, more like some sickly old man. Well, when it comes to muscles and tendons, it is truly use them or lose them.

I learned that lesson well and since that day I regularly use my dumbbells and power twister to maintain the strength of the upper parts of my body. This world just isn't the place to stagnate too long.

Furthermore, with strength, stamina and a healthy body in tip-top condition, you will find that you can take part in any activity anywhere with just anybody, anytime. Isn't that what all of us want? Certainly, because with such involvement comes joy and happiness unlimited, the one great eventual goal in life.

I believe all of you agree. However, if you don't, just drop me an email and I will tell you more about that.

Share to derive benefits.

The above are pictures of my orange dwarf crayfish.
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My elder son and I rear orange dwarf crayfish. As with every fish or animals that we have reared, our aim is to enjoy their beauty and movements, observe their characteristics, actions and life-cycle and so be able to give them the best condition possible, thus enabling them the greatest possibility of breeding.

To accomplish the wondrous act of breeding our crayfish, we put in many 3cm long PVC plastic pipes with 2cm diameter openings to give them safety and a sense of security.

I once thought of using old plastic pipes that people may throw away. So I told my son about it. When he heard that he was worried, wondering whether i had already done it. He told me it is not wise to use PVC plastic pipes which have been discarded as we do not know the source of such discarded piping. Had it been used to pipe chemicals from one place to another? Could the chemicals in the pipes be a danger to the crayfish? Could the remnants of the chemicals still sticking to the inner side of the pipes contaminate the water? What effect would it have on the crayfish? As I listened, the truth of his words struck me. How could I have not thought about such dangers? Well, it can happen as in this case.

Then, as he continued, I realised that I had a son who has acquired the wisdom of 'Shilling wise, pound foolish'. To ensure I do not use such pipes, he asked me how much we could save from using such discarded piping. Well, merely a few ringgit, perhaps. But the orange dwarf crayfish, and we have ten of them, which was purchased at twenty-five ringgit each, could be lost should there be any contaminants. The question which arises is 'Is it worth it?'. The answer to that is obvious.

From this experience, we see that no matter how much we know or have experience, we ought not to be too arrogant. Sometimes, it is possible to miss out on simple logic. Therefore, just as with knowledge, problems and actions too ought to be shared. Fear not that others may ridicule us. Think only of the benefits we may derive from such actions. The others may present the truth or logic that we could have missed. Nobody, except God, can be at one hundred percent awareness twenty-four hours, seven days a week. So, share and gain the benefits of having wrongs prevented and rights confirmed.

Nothing to lose, everything to gain.

Sometimes it is good to be down on our luck. When we are down, there is simply no other way to go but up. The only thing we have to remember is never ever to stay down forever. We may agonise over our tragedy a little but climb up again we must.

Some great achievers made it because of an earlier failure. When we fail, we are ready to try on anything as there is nothing to lose but everything to gain. In fact, unless we are changing places of work or relationships, if we try for something new, there is always nothing to lose but everything to gain.

'Everything to gain, nothing to lose' were the words in substitute teacher, Kyle DeVan's mind when he was offered a chance to play football for Boise Burn of arenafootball2. You see, not only did he have nothing to lose, he gained the opportunity to show his football talent with arenafootball2. As a result, the Colts noticed him and he landed on their training camp where he was impressive enough to be given a place to play on their team.

The admirable part about Kyle DeVan was his 'never give up' attitude. You see, DeVan played college football, did not get to play after signing up with the Washington Redskins and the New York Jets. Later, back on practice with the New York Jets, he was removed again.

A lesser man would have called it quits but not Kyle DeVan. Here is a man who still hangs around for another chance. He may encounter obstacles but it was not the end for him. The opportunity was still out there.

To tide him over, to get money to pay his bills, he became a substitute teacher. And when the opportunity came in the guise of arenafootball2, he jumped at it and proved himself a footballer of note.

Here is another excellent example of how consistent effort and determination got a man the place he wanted in life. It also shows us why we should be ready and look out for opportunities which are always there. When one door closes, another will open.

To stimulate the brain.

When we wish to proceed with a project, and we have settled the problem of giving time to it, then we ought to start with it immediately when we know what to do to achieve the necessary success. As we already know, we should start developing our children's brain, together with its body, the day the children are born, if not after the fourth month of conception in the womb.

The next question is what can we do to stimulate the growth and development of our beloved children. Yes, the aim is to stimulate so that the brain would respond and develop to accommodate the knowledge or skill necessary for the child's growth in every possible sphere.

Knowledge involves understanding while skill involves movement. Together they help the child to develop every part of him/her to the highest potential possible. Both ought to be developed together.

In stimulating the brains of our children, the parents are the most important people. They are the children's first and most suitable teachers. Teaching begins with them and they are the ones most knowledgeable or understanding of their own children. If, due to circumstances beyond their control, parents are unable to spend sufficient time with their children to make a difference, then these parents still have the responsibility to ensure the right guardians or child-minders are selected to do the job of stimulating the minds of their children.

Where does all the stimulation and training start? Well, the whole world is our classroom and all audio visual aids as well as practical training venues are found in it. How big your world is depends upon the time available and the expences needed. Everything else in here in this world.

For a start, the cot and the surrounding space in a room is the baby;s world. In it are also the parents, possibly brothers or sisters and grandparents. Of course, there are the toys hung above the cot.

Linguistic intelligence and interpersonal intelligence are the starting points. Parents and other humans who come into contact should speak in proper language and not baby talk which will be useless and discarded soon. Talk to the baby even though there is no responce. Greet the baby, ask questions or make comments on the baby's actions, smile, toys, food and the weather. We could talk as though the baby understands everything there is to say. Vocabulary is being registered in the brain. Later, all this will quicken the child's learning process.

Play with the child, get him/her to smile and laugh. Move the toy hung above the cot and get his eyes to follow the action as early as possible. The suitable toy should provide sound as well as moovement. Let the baby enjoy and register the sound of bells or any other clanging sounds.

Next, we can introduce texture to the child. Let the child know smoothness and roughness and any other textures available. Introduce the new words on textures. Allow the baby to mouth his/her fingers and toys after ensuring that they are clean and safe from dirt, germs and lead.

Then, there is movement. Get the child to move his hands and legs as well as turn his/her head.

Carry the baby and give the baby a chance to bond. Play with your baby. Let others bond with your baby too so that your child has an early start at interpersonal intelliegence development. Some children are so used to only their parents and siblings that they avoid strangers and find it difficult to enjoy the closeness of others.

From the cot and the home, the child widens his/her world into the garden and the neighbourhood. Talk about the new things he/she encounters here. Let the child experience the places. Parents' method of stimulating the child's brain for knowledge and skill is similar with slight variations. Again the verbal-linguistic intelligence is stimulated except that the child by now could start to ask questions which needed to be answered. If the parents can read up or learn in order to provide interesting and provoking answers to arouse curiousity, the brain would want to know more. Of course, the more is known, the more there is to know. If parents cannot provide the right answers, then the parents can take the child further afield to the library, the book-shop, the internet, the acquarium (At this point I still remember very well the little boy I saw at an acquarium shop who was full of questions for his delightful mother on all the fish and creatures seen in that place), the sundry shop, the supermarket, the wet-market, the public gardens, the zoo, art studios, musuems, the sea-side, the hills, the swamps, the rivers and any other place we can find in and around our town or village.

From here on, go and explore wherever and whatever is possible and within reach. Let the child know all there is to know within those six or seven years of his/her life.

Teach him/her to read and stimulate his/her love for reading. A love for reading is important as it is through books and the experiences of other people that we know and understand so many other things which is beyond our time and expenses to have.

Play is an important part of learning. Imagination is just as important. A child may discover the wonderful feeling of being able to cure others through pretending to be a doctor with a toy stethoscope and a stringe. Playing and taking apart watches and radios may anger parents as the expensive objects are destroyed in the process but it could be the result of curiousity to understand the workings of such things. We may be having an engineer or an inventor in our midst.

Talking about imagination, there was a time I saw parents dressing up their little children in graduates' attire and having them photographed. That was good, had the parents continued the process by telling the child that the first step to graduation is the ability to understand words well, read books and able to put thoughts and ideas on paper or in words. Then constantly remind the child of the path towards it with more stimulation towards whatever interests which could move the child towards that goal.

Many things in life require some kind of skill. For instance, a start could be made on skill development when the child has a bicycle. Show the child how to change a tyre or a bulb. Later, when the child grows up and is stronger, this child would know how to do it with a spanner and other instruments. Start with simple skills and go on to more difficult ones. Once a child has some skills mastered, he/she will be more than willing to learn whatever skills he/she comes across.

What about the child's bodily-kinesthetic intelligence? It all starts with walking, running, jumping, balancing, riding a bicycle, kicking footballs, throwing balls, bouncing balls; all of which leads to development of balance, agility, coordination, control, strength, stamina and endurance. With all these well developed, a child has the confidence to take on any sport he/she is interested in. He/She will not be left out in this field. Not only that, as many everyday actions require all these developments, he/she will find life so much easier to enjoy and be happy with. Almost anything would be within his/her reach. And the child will be stronger, healthier and fitter too. I wish to especially stress this point as an increasing number of parents think physical development not as important as verbal-linguistic development.

I remember that the one most important factor that removed whatever inferiority complex that I had as a child, was a strong and healthy body able to take on anythign physical as well as linguistic. With a healthy body, circulation is better and therefore, concentration is longer; and concentration is important in the classroom or the lecture room.

Well, all this will come to nought unless there are parents who would take on the job of developing their children's brains and bodies to their highest potential.